Hello Kittens long time no-write? Well anyhow…I got the urge to write something and this is what came out. I’m out of practice so it’s not my best work, forgive me. Still I hope something is salvageable.
Longing: intr.v. longed, long•ing, longs
To have an earnest, heartfelt desire, especially for something beyond reach.
From the moment I saw her from a distance I felt the earth move under my feet, not earthquake like mind you, more like a slight shift that only I could perceive. She moved me from day one. I couldn’t tell you what captured me more, the depth of her eyes or the honesty in her laughter. I only know that I’ve been in a slow and simmering state of torture ever since. I search for her in every corner even when I tell my self not to. I’ve memorized the approximate time that she goes to the coffee shop almost every morning and so every morning I’m there waiting to catch her but for a moment. I know it sounds pathetic, but it makes my day just to see her for a second and share a polite ‘hello’.Last night I ran into her at the theater and I nearly choked on my own breath. We didn’t cross more than few words but as always her mere presence left me strangely unsettled or to be more precise her absence.
I’m now far and beyond infatuation, she’s a sweet obsession that inhabits my cloudy mind. The worst feeling in the world is uncertainty; it’s black and gloomy like the smoke that hovers over the city rooftops. Damn the world and its formal complications. She’s my boss therefore my superior and I can’t chance her not returning my feelings. Although sometimes I could swear the signs of mutual interest are there but then again it could just be wishful thinking on my part. There are times when I’ve thought that she was looking at me just when I wasn’t looking at her but when our eyes meet hers run away so quickly I have no time to read what’s there or what was or Heaven help me, what could be. I have a dream where we run into each other at the end of an old pebbled-paved street and we don’t do anything but stare at each other for what seems to be ages. There are no words spoken between us but we understand each other perfectly. We share a look that has
‘naked’ written all over it and we come to accept that it’s unavoidable. That’s always about the time that my kitty alarm-clock goes off and meows me out of my delightfully-deep Morpheic reverie.
Some mornings I feel her eyes still lingering on my skin. Even awake I can feel her pupils undressing me and my lids close trying to hold on to her image ever so tightly. I can practically feel the heat of her flesh rushing over me like she was there right next to me. My hands wonder over my own body seeking some ghostly satisfaction while the shadow of her is still tangible in between the warm cotton sheets. I can see every contour of her body behind my eyes. Her curves are petite and delicious, her breasts just the right size for my hands, her nipples are tight peaks that tease my palms and come alive under my swirling tongue. I tease myself softly groping my right breast with my left hand as the right one travels southward in tune with the rapture of my favorite fantasy. She’s right there with me sprawled out on my bed, under me, open and waiting. I get wet from the just the thought and delve my index finger into the core of my musings.
My hips lift slightly off the bed as imagine she would when I touched her. I sigh and moan as I hear the wind carrying the obscenities she would whisper in my ear. She writhes beneath me and I stir, I come in and out of my self embraced solely by her image, the reflection of her stronger than any real lover I’ve ever had. She’s fading and I need her to stay so badly. I speed up the pace rubbing up and down and in circular motions frantically racing against her departure. I’m getting close, I concentrate harder and her body comes alive in my mind one more time in glowing and colorful portraits like Van Gogh’s sunflowers. I cry out her name and it dies like an inward whisper on my lips.
Day light has broken through my blinds. It’s time to go and search for her just to say hello.
by onyxsundrops » Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:53 pm 
you're making me blush.
Love sam xx
