Hi all - Beth from those ever present Rainbow Writers here. This isn't something Kath and I have ever done, but we've both been watching this season pan out and felt the need to write a quick 'sort Buffy's head out' fic, and so here it is - I hope that it posts okay and that its not too long or anything. Give it a read if you fancy and let us know what you think,
Much love and hugs Beth .
COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Dawn, Joyce and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Joss Wheldon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the authors. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the authors for permission to reproduce this story on any other fanfiction site.
TIMELINE DISCLAIMER/POSSIBLE SPOILERS : Everything in the Buffy-verse up to the last episode screened on 28.01.02 is taken as standard so if you don’t want to be spoiled for any of this seasons eps you might want to steer clear.
PAIRING : W/T, X/A, B/S
FEEDBACK: All feedback is welcome at rainbowwriters@hotmail.com.
RATING: PG-13
Make A Wish
By: The Rainbow Writers
Rainbow_writers@hotmail.com
“Well isn’t this fun?” Anya glanced around the six member strong group and adjusted her silver and gold cone shaped party hat. The endlessly happy melody from some young and ultimately trendy all girl band blared out of the closeted stereo as at the other end of the room. Dawn and Willow could be seen doing there best to dance along to it.
“Did you like your present?” The former demon asked as she glanced over to the cream roll neck angora sweater that was laid carefully over the other gifts on the far armchair.
“It was lovely, thank you.” Buffy looked up from where she had been examining the small printed trail of multicoloured balloons that wound there way along the edge of her paper serviette.
“You know if you don’t like it we can take it back.” Anya said quickly, “Replacing it for a cross bow, or a puppy dog.” She suggested trying to be accommodating. “But not a rabbit.” She stated clearly.
“She likes it just fine baby.” Xander slipped his arm around his fiancée’s shoulders and gave them a light squeeze. “I see Willow and the Dawnmeister are getting on better.”
“Huh… what?” Buffy shook her head again and glanced over her shoulder the dancing pair. “Oh yes they seem to be better now. Dawn’s all healed and Willow is doing well without the magic.” Her tone was as vacant as the look in her eyes.
“So what’s your favourite present.” Anya’s ever cheerful voice quizzed the distant slayer, who’s eyes were still trained on her sister and best friend, absently watching their lips move as they danced, lip reading their music drowned conversation.
“She might still come.” Dawn offered her hand to Willow as they twisted a little on the spot.
The redhead took it and made a focused effort to at least look like she was fitting her movements to the music.
“I’m sorry I messed everything up for you Dawnie.” Willow let her head dip in time with the music, her longer, slightly curly locks falling forward to cover her petite features.
“We’ve been through this Willow.” The teenager replied. “The fact is I still have Tara, it’s you that doesn’t, I feel bad for you, for both of you. She loves you so much you know.”
“So you tell me every time you come back from one of your movie and shake, or massive shopping spree trips.” Willow’s voice was desperately sad.
As if on cue the unnaturally happy girl band CD suddenly decided to branch out into a melancholic number, which left both girls a little at a loss of what to do. Willow dropped Dawn’s hand and pushed both of hers into the pockets of her tight black knee length pants. Dawn flicked her hair over her shoulder with one of hers and then pointed to the stereo with the other.
“I thought I had programmed that.” She apologised lamely before hurrying to the glass door to toy with the music player.
“It’s okay.” Willow said as she moved over and dropped to lightly sit on the couch, absentmindedly playing with her own party hat that lay abandoned on the cushion beside her.
Taking full opportunity of the slow number Anya took Xander’s hand and led him to the area designated as the ‘dance floor’ and moved with him, slow and close to the rhythm of the ballad.
In her place by the stereo Dawn fumbled through a pile of CD’s trying to work out which wouldn’t let her down as this one had, while Willow had left her party hat unattended once more and instead played with the beaded choker around her throat.
“You got any decent blood in?” A voice near Buffy’s ear made the silent spectator Slayer jump.
“What?” She asked turning to the peroxide vampire who had asked the question her face contorted in query.
“Blood, you know the thick red stuff I crave, partying is thirsty work you know.” Spike replied tilting his hand a little as if raising a glass in it.
“No I do not have any blood, why are you here anyway?” The blonde Slayer asked frustrated.
“Hey it’s my peaches birthday, would I miss that for the world?” Spike gave a grin. “I’m looking for one hell of a birthday kiss any minute now.” He added with a wink.
“You make me sick you know that.” Buffy shivered, wrapping an arm around her middle.
“Weren’t saying that a couple of hours ago when you were riding on the Spike rollercoaster now were you?” He gloated.
“Leave me alone.” Buffy turned sharply away from the vampire who just shrugged and went back to brooding in the over stuffed leather arm chair that he had only recently vacated.
From her examination of the various CD’s in front of her Dawn suddenly made a selection and ejected the current one interrupting Anya and Xander’s dance mid step. Skipping a few tracks she turned and coughed lightly.
“I think its cake time.” She announced trying a beaming smile.
“Oh yeah the cake.” Willow pushed her hat aside and stood up. “I’ll help you get it.”
The teenager leaned back and pressed play on the CD and a corny version of ‘Happy Birthday’ filled the room as she and Willow slipped off to the kitchen.
“What would a birthday be without cake?” Xander held his arm around Anya’s waist as he gave Buffy a grin.
“A gratuitous giving of gifts.” Anya commented with a nod. “Without the icing.”
“Yes, well on top of gifts Anya.” Xander squeezed his girlfriend’s hip. “What did you pick for your cake shape this year?”
“I didn’t.” Buffy said with a shrug.
“Oh come on, you couldn’t have broken the big tradition. You had a unicorn and a castle and that strange one that was supposed to be a Smurf.”
“Do we even bother lighting the candles?” Dawn asked Willow in a hushed tone as they fussed around in the kitchen gather plates and a knife. Xander’s cheery banter drifting through to them from the lounge.
“We should, maybe it’ll cheer her up.” Willow moved to get a lighter, reminding herself it was easier than just igniting them herself.
“Why, it’s obvious she’s hating every second.” Dawn held the small cake plates to her chest and pouted.
“She’s trying.” Willow gave a little shrug. “Maybe sugar will help.” She pointed to the thick icing on the rainbow shaped cake.
“Mmmm” Dawn made a non-committal huff, accidentally blowing out the three candles Willow had managed to light. “I just wish mom were here.” She said sadly, her shoulders sagging
“I know Dawnie.” Willow moved over and rubbed her hand into the teenager’s shoulder. Dawn briefly lay her head on the hacker’s hand.
“And Tara too.” She added breathing in deeply.
“Yeah, I wish everyone was here.” Willow frowned a little.
“Will you two hurry up already, I’m gonna start trying to bite people soon just to liven things up, after all nothing could get much more painful out there.” Spike appeared in the doorway. “Hello Red, you’re supposed to light the candles.” He pointed to the cake.
“I know that Spike.” Willow scowled at him and moved to light the candles again. “Ready?” She helped Dawnie pick up the cake and the teenager nodded.
“Happy Birthday to you...” Willow began singing with the teenager, causing Xander and Anya to jump in as they moved into the living room.
“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Buffy, happy birthday to you.” The rather pathetic chorus finally came to an end.
“Thanks you guys this is... you know…” Buffy struggled for a phrase. “Great.” She finished looking around at her group of friends.
“It’s a rainbow, you know pot a gold and all, happiness at the end of the rainbow.” Willow babbled as they stood there holding the cake.
“That’s not true you know...” Anya began but was silenced by a single look from her fiancé.
“What I want to know is Buffy twenty one or one undead?” Spike sidled up to Xander and whispered into his ear as Buffy leaned over examining the offering.
“You’re going to be recently dust if you don’t shut up.” Xander hissed back.
“Come on Buffy blow the candles out.” Dawn tried to cheery her sister into action.
“Make a wish.” Willow prompted with her.
Buffy couldn’t help but flash her eyes up at Willow as she spoke, the redhead’s words echoing in her mind as she took in a deep breath and looked into the small flickering dancing flames.
‘I’m sorry Willow.’ She apologised in her thoughts as she looked around at her gathered family and friends. ‘But I wish you’d never brought me back’. She whispered in her mind as she closed her eyes and blew out all of the candles on the brightly iced cake.
A plume of light smoke engulfed her face for a moment before the world was filled with an entirely different smell.
It was dank, musty and rotting. It permeated through everything and tainted it instantly.
Very slowly the blonde Slayer opened her eyes half expecting the darkness of the noisy room before Xander managed to flick the light back on, but never expecting the pitch darkness and complete silence that greeted her.
The first thing that was obvious was that she was alone. The living room was dark, with only small shards of light permeating through the slats of aged wood that covered the front bay window. Most of the furniture was gone, accept for the open gapping mouth of the cushion less couch which had springs sticking out in a haphazard fashion.
“Xander? Willow?” Buffy’s voice was uneasy and didn’t even seem to disturb a pigeon she noticed was pecking at the rotting couch.
Stepping shocked towards the kitchen, the older smell of soot and ash showed her the charred remnants of the room.
“They aren’t here.” A voice came moments before a white cloaked figure stepped out of the darkness of the hallway.
“What?” Buffy’s head snapped up at the sound of a voice she knew so well. “Mom?” She whispered her voice nearly breaking through layers of hard emotions.
“Hello Buffy.” Joyce moved the mantle of luminous white away from her head to show her smiling face. “I can’t say I’m thrilled with the decorating.” She looked around with a light laugh.
“Where are we? What’s going on?” Buffy’s throat tightened and a tear leapt into her eye at the sound of her mother’s laughter.
“This is your wish.” She looked at her daughter again making the brief statement.
“My wish? I didn’t wish for the house to be trashed and for me to be talking to the ghost of my mother, you are a ghost right?” Buffy checked.
“I’m a visitor, given leave to guide you here.” Joyce nodded and moved closer. “And this is your wish, you were never resurrected after the portal.”
“You mean I’m not here?” Buffy held up her hand in front of her face and wiggled her fingers.
“You are alive not.” Joyce reached up and held Buffy’s hand. “But there are some things you should see.”
“But this isn’t right either, because I know how things were before they brought me back, Willow and Tara look after Dawn, and I bet Xander and Anya are married by now.” Buffy pulled her hand back and shook her head.
“That was when they had the hope of you.” Joyce slowly lowered her hand as well. “This is long after that, and much has changed.”
“Changed? Why has it changed? What has changed?” Buffy frowned.
“Everything.” Joyce smiled sadly.
“Where’s Dawn? Where are Willow and Tara?” Buffy suddenly became edgy.
“You wish to see Dawn first?” Joyce clarified.
“Yes.” Buffy nodded looking up at her mother.
“Take my hand, I will take you to her.” Joyce offered her hand again. Very slowly Buffy raised her hand and placed it in Joyce’s.
“She’s not in trouble is she? It’s not Tuesday is it?” Buffy’s voice drifted in the air as the scene changed.
*******
The scene of devastation at the house seemed to shimmer away as they were suddenly sat on a very plush velvet cushion. The cold and slightly moist feel of the air told you instantly you were underground. The large room was filled with mismatched expensive furniture and lit by tall candle filled iron holders.
“I SAID I WANTED A SNACK NOT A FULL MEAL!” Dawn’s voice was a shrill screech as she stalked into the room. Her body tightly fit by blood red leather pants and an open frilly silk blouse. “When will you idiots ever get my orders right!” She picked up a vase and slammed it into the wall.
“She is quite in control.” Joyce finally answered Buffy’s question with a frown.
“Easy Little Bit.” Spike sauntered into the room his characteristic black leather and denim ensemble unchanged.
“I know, I know.” Dawn took a few deep breaths, flicking out the cuffs of her shirt. “I’m just...” She closed her eyes and wiggled her shoulders. “I just hate this time of the month.”
“Look how about I chop him up into little bitty bite size chunks?” Spike crossed over to the teenage youth that lay bound and gagged on the floor. “Would that be better pumpkin?” He delivered a sharp kick in the boy’s ribs without flinching, instead a slow smile spread over his features.
“You’ll pull off all the icky skin bits right?” Dawn smiled a bit. “I don’t like the skin, it’s fattening.”
“Oh course precious. Sliced and diced.” He winked and pulled out a flick knife from his pocket and let the blade spring loose.
“Okay, but do it quietly.” Dawn turned away completely unaffected by the idea as she went to sit in front of a tall mirror to brush her hair. “I really wish I could see how shiny my hair is.” The full mirror held nothing but a reflection of the room.
“Just what the hell is going on here?” Buffy stood up abruptly, shocked when nothing changed and no one in the scene turned to look at her. So instead she stared at her mother.
“You haven’t figured it out?” Joyce looked back at her with no change in her inflection or demeanour.
Spike grabbed hold the long rope tethering the boy’s hands and slowly dragged him out of the room.
“Oh no, maybe I have, this is one of those parallel dimensions isn’t it.” Buffy looked around the whole scene quickly.
“This is your wish.” Joyce underlined for her.
“And Vampire Willow and Xander are gonna come in any second right?” Buffy turned back to fully face her mother.
“There are no vampire Willow or Xander.” Joyce shook her head.
From a distant room human screams suddenly tore through the air.
“I SAID QUIETLY!” Dawn screeched again as she stopped brushing her hair obviously agitated.
“Sorry pumpkin.” Spike’s head popped around the doorframe, his fangs and face covered in blood.
“Don’t be sorry, just improve.” Dawn smiled at him.
“Okay ewwww!” Buffy placed her hands on her hips. “You’re trying to tell me that Dawn is a vampire?” Her eyes met her mother’s.
“Dawn is the most powerful vampire in Sunnydale.” Joyce summed up.
“How? Who’s her sire? When did this happen?” Buffy demanded answers.
“Halloween night, some boy I’m not quite sure his name.” Joyce answered softly. “Dawn hunted him down and had him quartered after she rose.” She smiled. “You know your sister, never one to follow the rules really.”
“Are you telling me that that jerk Justine turned Dawn, no way, she dusted him.” Buffy argued.
“No, she was bitten and turned.” Joyce pointed at her youngest daughter.
“Willow and Tara would SO not let that happen.” Buffy stayed firm in her conviction.
“They didn’t let it happen Buffy.” Joyce shook her head. “They thought she was at a friends, out of harms way.”
“What about Xander he wouldn’t have fallen for that old trick.” Buffy objected again.
“Xander and Anya were on their honeymoon.” Joyce filled in the blanks. “They didn’t know what happened till they returned.”
“Their honeymoon, Xander and Anya are happy? Great let’s go see them. Don’t for one minute think I’m buying this, but lets see the happy couple.” Buffy was happy for the introduction of a distraction.
“As you wish.” Joyce offered her hand again, just as Spike returned with a bowl full of bloody meat bits. They thankfully missed Dawn devouring every last drop.
*******
“Anya, where the hell is my beer?” Xander scratched at his crotch and flicked the channel between a football game and a racing event.
“We’re out.” Anya’s call from the kitchen
“Then go get some.” Xander yelled back annoyed by the prospect of not having anything to drink while he watched TV.
“You drank it all, you get some.” The former demon bit back.
“I just worked a twelve hour shift, is it such a horrible expectation for me to want you to get me a beer?” He called back.
“Xander you haven’t worked a twelve hour shift for the last three weeks.” Anya suddenly appeared in the lounge from the kitchen. The usually glamorous former demon was dressed in drab blue jeans and a yellow and green striped Rugby shirt.
“You’re going to go visit Tara though right? You could pick it up for me then.” He didn’t even look up at her.
“Of course I am going to see Tara, I see Tara every day. Which is more than you do, when did you last see her?” She pointed at her husband with the hairbrush she was about to use to calm her wild blonde locks.
“She doesn’t want me there.” Xander shook his head changing the channel.
“How do you know what Tara wants?” Anya rested a hand on her hip. “Tara doesn’t even know what she wants.”
“Whatever, just pick up some beer.” Xander grumbled.
“They seem...” Joyce didn’t finish as she watched Buffy just standing there with her jaw open.
“Okay so I never want to see Xander doing that to his crotch ever again.” Buffy shivered and turned away.
“Would you like to go with Anya?” Joyce nodded her agreement.
“What has happened to them? Surely domestic bliss hasn’t warn off already?” Buffy turned back at her mother’s suggestion to see Anya pulling on her coat.
“Domestic bliss is a function not only of two people Buffy, but of the world around them.” Joyce frowned.
“She’s going to Tara’s place yeah?” Buffy wanted clarification.
“She is going to Tara.” Joyce didn’t directly respond.
“Yeah okay to Tara’s place, at least she can’t have changed into a crotch scratching couch potatoes. Oh no wait…” Buffy put her hand up to stop her mother’s move.
“Yes?” Joyce stopped before their hands touched.
“Tara’s not a vampire is she? Not a hell god, demon bride or big evil killer witch?” Buffy checked.
“She is not any of those things.”
“Okay, lets go then. But you got to promise me that Tara’s a 100% genuine human being.”
Buffy warned.
“She is.” Joyce touched their hands together. The world was instantly filled with a bright blinding light that came from the ceiling overhead and was reflected off the padded white leather walls and floor of the room.
“Tara.” Joyce pointed to the corner of the area to a small huddled form.
“Anya, good… good. Did you bring it because you know I can’t do any more with out it.” The immaculately neat blonde head tipped up slightly as the witch stretched her long legs out form their huddled position. Her bright blue eyes flickered all over changing their focus by the second, no matter how she tried to focus on the shape of her visitor
“I brought it Tara, but I don’t think they’ll let you keep it.” Anya looked back at the small window in the door making sure no one was watching before she pulled out the small stone from her pocket.
“They, they will.” Tara nodded her head emphatically as she moved to get up. Her pale blue cotton pants literally hung of her almost skeletal like frame as she stood up, the matching top only clinging to her shoulders and arms because of gravity as she crossed over to Anya. “Thank you.” She whispered as she closed her long thing fingers around Anya’s hand.
“What else do you need?” Anya frowned at the sight of the blonde. “Have you not been eating again? You know you have to eat Tara, or they make you.”
“I’m so close Anya, so close. If only Mr. Giles were here he would help, come, come see.” Tara didn’t for a moment stop to address any of the former demon’s questions, instead she pulled lightly on her hand to guide her to the corner she had been crouched in.
Anya let herself be reluctantly lead over.
“They’re not going to put tubes in me again.” Tara whispered in a hushed voice as she knelt down on the padded floor. She dug her long fingers into the leather and coaxed the turned material over revealing several small diagrams and scribbles in Latin. “See, see how well I’m doing.” She pointed to the words.
“You told me Tara was okay.” Buffy stood up suddenly unable to watch.
“No, you asked if Tara was a human being.” Joyce sadly watched the blonde’s mania. “She believes she can give your sister back her soul.”
“She’s in here because of Dawn?” The wind escaped form Buffy’s lungs in an instant.
“She feels responsible for Dawn being turned.” Joyce tried to explain still frowning. “She tried so very hard to make everything right after you died, but she failed and something inside her just snapped. “Anya works very hard to keep her in here and not the state run facility.”
“Anya? Anya works hard? What about Willow? Are you telling me Willow walked out on her, after all this, Willow walked out on my sister and her girlfriend? Is the whole world screwed or what?” The Slayer breathed hard. “I so have something to say to Willow. Where the hell is she?” Buffy ran her hands through her hair her eyes bright with anger.
“Willow didn’t walk out on anyone Buffy.” Joyce shook her head her face growing that much sadder. “You want me to take you to Willow?” She held out her hand.
“Oh yeah I want a word with my ‘best’ friend, a word about loyalty, about commitment, about friendship.” Buffy ranted as she took her mother’s hand.
The world spun again slowly and a sharp crisp breeze covered them signally that they were outside.
“She might not be up for answering, but you can still tell her.” Joyce released Buffy’s hand and motioned ahead of them as she stepped back.
“Tara is literally wasting away in some padded cell while Willow if living the life of miss fluff in the great and pretty out doors?” Buffy seethed as she took in the beatific scene of autumn coloured trees and crisp blue sky dotted with bright white and grey clouds.
“No Buffy.” Joyce shook her head, her voice barely a whisper. “There.” She pointed again down to the manicured grass at the two headstones that sat a few feet apart. The one to the left was very familiar to the Slayer but the one to the right was new.
Willow Rosenberg
1981-2001
Beloved daughter, soul mate and friend
She helped save the world, even though she didn’t have to.
Buffy stopped looking all around and stared to where her mother’s hand pointed. Without knowing it her feet moved forwards and then her knees buckled bringing her down on the short cut grass. Her shaking hand lifted and traced the letters of Willow’s name tears trailing down her face.
“Willow’s dead?” Buffy’s voice wasn’t even an audible whispered.
“Yes.” Joyce nodded.
“How?” The Slayer sobbed her hand curling over her mouth as silent sobs racked through her body.
“Your sister crucified her.” Joyce barely whispered the words back.
Buffy felt the bile rise in her throat as she turned her head and stared at her mother.
“What?” Her voice was a horrified whisper.
“She and Tara were trying to bring back your sister’s soul Buffy. That is not something Dawn wants in her current state.” Joyce knelt down in her place. “Dawn captured Tara and drained her in order to flush Willow out of hiding, when Willow came to save Tara.... Dawn crucified her in the centre of town as a warning to all witches.”
“Why didn’t she kill Tara?” Buffy asked possibly hoping for a glimmer of remorse from her kid sister.
“She was full.” Joyce looked down pained.
“You mean to tell me Dawn left Tara alive because she wasn’t hungry?” Buffy was appalled,
“You’re sister’s motivations are very simple now.” Joyce looked back up slowly.
“I don’t believe that.” Buffy suddenly stood up. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to make me think that this is real, and its not is it, this is just like some crazy scene from a storybook or something. I bet if I just closed my eyes and relax and then open them again, everything will be back to normal.” She promptly closed her eyes.
“You don’t believe this is real?” Joyce questioned her.
“I’m not listening.” She put her fingers in her ears and laid back on the grass.
“The crystal that Anya brought Tara is the last thing she needs to complete her spell. If this is real you wouldn’t need to see how it turns out.” Joyce spoke a little louder.
“Birthday candle smoke hallucinations that’s what this is.” Buffy began humming.
“This is your wish Buffy.” Joyce stood up and moved over to where she lay. “This is what you wanted.”
“Yeah right, okay I’m game what happens now? Or doesn’t the script or plot let me have the answer to my question. Didn’t what ever demon or god think I’d keep going for this long?” Buffy took her hands away from her ears and sat up opening her eyes.
“This is real time Buffy, there is no script.” Joyce reached out and held Buffy’s hand putting them back into Tara’s room. The blonde was leaned over her array of ingredients chanting in Latin. “I don’t know what is going to happen, she thinks she knows what will happen. You think this is a dream.”
As the spectators watched the room shifted a little shimmering a little like the surface of a pond after a pebble is dropped into it, and then suddenly everything evened out but the blonde was no longer alone. In the room with her stood Dawn in her leather clad glory.
“How dare you?” Dawn’s face instantly vamped as she looked down at Tara.
“I h-h-h-have to save you.” Tara stammered looking up from the floor.
“I am saved.” Dawn sneered at her. “There’s no more pain, no more empty feeling. There is just hunger and want.”
“We t-t-tried so hard to g-g-get her back for you.” Tara said sadly.
“But you didn’t, did you!” Dawn screamed angry despite herself. “She left me, she didn’t want to come back. She didn’t care what happened to any of us after she died.”
“B-B-Buffy loved you, l-l-loved all of us.” Tara turned the crystal round and round in her hand.
“She left us all to be eaten alive in this cruel world.” Dawn growled. “Did her love save me? Save you, you looney toon? Save Willow?”
“It tried. I’m still trying.” Tara whined sadly she finished turning the crystal and held it out towards Dawn.
“You’re pathetic.” Dawn rolled her eyes and reached down to smack the crystal away. “Even if your stupid plan had worked, Buffy would have hated it here. Hated all of us for how pathetic we are, hated this whole world.” She grabbed Tara’s wrist instead. “She’s dead, she has peace and oblivion why would she want to trade that for having to exist in this hell?”
“Do you really believe that?” Tara’s eyes flooded with tears.
“Do you Buffy?” Joyce echoed the question.
“I....” Buffy stammered and looked between the scene and her mother.
“Is death really heaven or is it just oblivion from the pain that continues in the world after you are gone?” Joyce questioned thoughtfully.
“Nothing hurt there.” Buffy whined sadly her lip trembling.
“It hurt Buffy, you just didn’t feel it.” Joyce swept her arm over the scene and they were suddenly again in the burnt and broken Summer’s house. “You felt how much they loved you, you blocked out how much pain it caused them to lose you.”
“You swear to me, that this is true?” Buffy said looking up sadly.
“This is the world if you were not brought back.” Joyce nodded with a frown. “This is your wish.”
“I made the wish to change my life, not to change theirs. My life has always been about other people about what they want and need from me. What about what I want? Why didn’t you show me my life, the place when I am, where I was before they tore me out of it? What’s it like there right now? Can’t you show me because I’ll remember how great it was?” Buffy suddenly snapped.
“As you wish.” Joyce’s answer was swift and simple as she caught her daughter’s hand. “This is your world.”
Buffy looked around slowly and suddenly the memory of where she had been came back as she took in the vaguely pink sky and the rolling grass covered hills.
“Feel familiar?” Joyce questioned softly.
“Yes, yes this is where is was. Isn’t it perfect.” Buffy flung out her arms and twirled round. “Feel that warm breeze and listen to that birds song.”
“Yes it is absolutely perfect.” Joyce didn’t even acknowledge it.
“Willow.” Buffy suddenly had the thought She turned to look at her mother. “I can find Willow, she’ll be here.” She suddenly took off through the ankle deep grass.
“Buffy, BUFFY!” Joyce called to her running daughter. “She’s not here.”
“What?” Buffy stopped staring at her mother. “You said she was dead.”
“She is dead, but she is not here.” Joyce shook her head.
“Why not?”
“This is where you wanted to go Buffy, this is your created oblivion.” Joyce swept her hand in an arc. “No pain, no worry, nothing harsh, nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be scared of or even for.”
“But What about Willow?” Buffy frowned.
“She is in her place.” Joyce’s eyes went to the ground quickly as if trying to hide something.
“Where”? Buffy pushed.
“A world of guilt, pain... loss.” Joyce’s voice was quiet. “A world where she closes her eyes again and again on her own failure.”
“Why doesn’t that make me feel anything, I think that that should make me feel something, but I don’t know what?” Panic began to flood the Slayer’s voice. “Mother?” She looked at Joyce wide eyed.
“Because here you have made a rule that you do not feel.” Joyce held her arms out. “Neither love nor loss, pain or comfort. There is nothing.”
“Nothing?” Buffy whispered. “So if I come back here, nothing that they’re going through, nothing that has happened to tem will matter to me?” She checked.
“You will know but you won’t be affected by it.” Joyce nodded. “You touch the fire and it freezes you. There is no change.”
“How could I have watched Willow die, Dawn be turned, all of that and feel nothing?”
Buffy was appalled.
“Because if you feel it, it would have tore you apart inside.” Joyce spoke honestly. “You would have felt like you died for nothing, threw away your life for nothing.”
“But if all this has happened then I did.” Buffy said sadly.
“But if Willow resurrects you, it doesn’t.” Joyce reminded softly. “Bad things will always happen Buffy, there will always be battles to fight wars to wage, and things you will win and lose.”
“But Tara, Tara was fighting even though everything was so helpless.” Buffy rubbed her hand against her forehead, as everything in this once clear universe became fuzzy.
“Because you dying wasn’t pointless Buffy, not to Tara. You died to give them all a chance, and she was still trying to do with that whatever she could for a happy ending.” Joyce pushed. “It wasn’t pointless to Xander. You were his hero, the one who could defy even death to save the world. To Dawn it was only that she felt so guilty for your sacrificing for her, the guilt tears her empty soul apart even in this world. And Willow... sweet Willow...” The older woman felt her eyes well up. “She died thinking she had failed you, she screamed to the heavens that she was sorry for not being as good as you.”
“Okay, okay!” Buffy held her hands up. “I take it back, I want to take my wish back.”
She stated clearly. “I want to be alive again.” She took a deep breath.
“You made your wish Buffy.” Joyce challenged her. “You have your oblivion back.”
“I have oblivion and they have Hell? How can this be heaven if I am powerless, just watching my friends suffer and die, watching my kid sister, the girl I died for loose her humanity to some vampire punk?” Buffy shook her head. “I don’t want this.” She demanded. “I wish I was back at my birthday party, god cheesy as it is, at least it was real.” She hung her head.
*******
The whole group of Scoobies suddenly jumped as the front door bell ring.
“Holy smoke Buffy, if you get any older the firemen won’t even ring the bell.” Xander teased as he waved his hand to disperse the plume of smoke from her candles.
Buffy very slowly opened her eyes and looked around through the sweet smelling candle smoke as she saw Willow slip out to get the door.
“You have to cut it now, it’s good luck or something.” Willow pushed a smile onto her face as she opened the door. “Tara!” She was surprised to see the blonde Wicca standing there her arms full of a colourfully wrapped box.
“I-I-I’m not too late am I?” Tara smiled.
“No, no.” Willow smiled back at her. “Buffy just blew out the candles, but we could sing Happy Birthday again now that you’re here.”
“S-S-Singing isn’t my strong point.” The blonde Wicca walked slowly in.
“That’s okay, you like cake.” Willow filled in nervously. “It’s chocolate, all our favourites.”
“TARA!” Dawn squealed and threw herself at the blonde as she entered the room.
“Happy birthday Buffy.” Tara said as she coped with the embracing teenager.
Buffy said nothing merely looked around at the gang taking in deep breaths.
“So who wants an end bit with part of the gold?” Xander called as he put the knife in Buffy’s hand.
“Now it’s perfect.” Dawn smiled at her sister as she stood next to Tara, and Willow timidly filled in the other side.
“Buffy, are you okay?” Willow asked her softly seeing the shell-shocked look on the Slayer’s face.
“Wh....what?” Buffy turned slightly and looked at Willow.
“Are you okay?” Willow asked her again moving closer.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Buffy pressed the knife through the coloured icing.
“So what did you wish for?” Anya pushed excitedly as the Slayer sliced her cake
“She can’t tell Anya, or else it won’t come true.” Xander laughed at his lover.
“No, its okay Xander.” Buffy shook her head.
Willow handed Tara a small plate with a piece of cake.
“I wished...” Buffy placed the knife down by the cake. “I wished that Xander and Anya have the best wedding, honeymoon and rest of their life possible and that I get to be around to enjoy it with them.” She reached out and put her hand on Xander’s arm briefly. “I wished I don’t go crazy before I see Willow and Tara get back together, cause what is my life without soppy gorgeous Wicca love.” She smiled at the two of them, causing both of them to blush. “And I wish that I get to be your big sister and drive you crazy for forever.” She slipped her hand into Dawn’s and smiled. “I think that has a good chance of coming true don’t you?” She added with a broad smile.
The End.