***
“I can’t believe I missed it.” Dawn sat up leaning on the back of the out of place sofa as Xander hammered the second of two large sheets of wood they had been going to use in the basement as room dividers up against the broken window frame.
“I can’t believe my cousin magically locked us in the basement.”
Madalene added as she helped hold the board in place for the carpenter.
From her place over near the kitchen Tara cast a ‘no regrets’ glance to the pair.
“You were safe in there.” She pointed out softly before turning to check on Willow.
“My head hurts.” Willow held the ice to her temple.
“I think I am going to make you wear a crash helmet for a while.” Tara joked softly as she leaned in slightly kissed red hair.
“I had to protect you.” Willow smiled after the kiss.
“I still don’t quite understand how you managed to kill it.” Giles admitted as he began delivering the tea that he had made for everyone.
“Ah you see that was easy.” Buffy grinned. “I do listen to what you say.” The Slayer looked smug for a moment. “On the way out, I swapped the sword you gave me for one of those we managed to take from the knights of Byzantium. I figured that they were likely to be blessed from the whole Glory thing. They seemed to like having a ‘god’ on their side.”
“Hey Willow and I softened him up for you.” Xander turned to show off a very large black eye, the bruise covering the left side of his face.
“No completely.” Buffy turned to thank them all. “Great axe play Will.” She smiled at the hacker.
“I learned from my girl.” Willow smiled at Buffy and the grinned at Tara.
“It was all quite exciting really.” Anya piped up.
“Yeah, I especially loved the bit where Buffy killed it.” Xander laughed as he pulled bits of drapes back over the bare wood. Dawn chuckled as he tried to hold them closed but then finally let them just hang in tatters.
“I guess we’ve had our excitement for tonight.” Willow gave a lopsided smile.
“You were amazing.” Tara kissed her softly again.
“So were you brave Tara.” Willow kissed her back lightly.
“Oh no you were defiantly the knight tonight.” Tara wrinkled her nose and grinned and made Willow blushed a little.
“Not that I want to break up this party but Anya why don’t I drive you home?” Xander offered looking over to her.
“I think I am quite capa...” The vengeance demon stopped and looked at Xander realizing all the bruises and shallow cuts on his face and body were as a direct result of his actions to save her. “Okay.” She agreed “But it’s just a ride home.” She stressed and moved to the door but as she reached it she turned to the carpenter. “You might need to bring clean underwear and socks.” She said before pulling open the front door and slipping out.
“Wh... oh okay.” Xander grinned and padded off towards the basement to get the stuff she’d told him too.
The rest of the gang just watched them leave in silent amusement.
“I’m so wired, maybe there’s something good on TV.” Dawn grinned and bounced over towards the couch.
“And maybe there’s something super exciting happening in your bedroom.” Buffy countered looking at the teenager.
“You’re making me go to bed?” Dawn looked at her horrified.
“Mmmm let me think.” Buffy paused for a moment. “Yes.” She said succinctly.
“This so sucks.” Dawn grumbled but she walked over to her sister. “Good night evil one.” She hugged Buffy lightly.
“Good night whiney one.” Buffy hugged her back laughing.
“Night Wills.” She hugged the redhead. “Night Tara.” She hugged her as well. Tara kissed the teenager’s cheek softly. “Night Mads.” Still grumbling she made her way upstairs.
“Oh Dawn...” Madalene called after the teenager. “Why don’t you take your room, I think I can steal Xander’s bed for tonight.” She smiled softly.
“Cool.” Dawn’s eyes widened but she looked to Buffy for clearance.
“Go on.” Buffy smiled at her and Dawn gave everyone a brief wave before she thundered up the stairs.
“On that note, I think I’m going to banish myself back to the basement.” Madalene yawned lightly. “Goodnight everyone.” There came a brief chorus of goodnight for the Spellcaster.
“I too shall move homeward.” Giles picked up his blazer and smiled.
“Night Giles.” Willow gave him a soft wave.
“Take care of that head.” He smiled tenderly at her, nodding to Tara and Buffy as he moved to the door.
“I’m going up too.” Tara pushed off from her place somewhat slower as she leaned in and kissed Willow’s cheek.
“Let me get more ice and then I’ll come up with you.” Willow smiled and slipped off her stool.
“Take you time.” Tara smiled as she began walking.
The Wicca crossed the rooms to the stairs and it was just as she as about to go up them she glanced down. Anya’s bag had been left neatly by the foot of the stairs and though she wanted to just walk passed it as her foot fell on he first step she knew she couldn’t. Leaning down she picked up the bag, cradling it to her body she climbed the stairs.
“Are you going to bed too?” Willow asked quietly as she went over to the sink.
“Mmmm maybe, though I’m post beheading slayage, you know how it can be.” Buffy slipped off her stool and followed her into the kitchen.
“You could go downstairs and check on Mads, Xander’s dirty laundry might attack her.” She tried to keep her comments light until she could get out of the kitchen.
“I could.” Buffy acknowledged. “Or I could talk to my friend about what an ass I’ve been.”
“You could...” Willow was about to repeat the words as she turned around but what they meant suddenly dawned on her. “You have every right not to trust me.” She bowed her head down.
“And at the same time I have every right to trust you.” Buffy countered.
“You don’t.” Willow looked up and shook her head.
“I do.” Buffy re-stated softly. “You my best friend Willow.”
“I tried to kill you.” Willow reminded weakly.
“And I tried to stop you.” Buffy said quickly.
“You had to stop me.” Willow nodded. “I was going to blow up the world.”
“You were hurting.” Buffy pointed out.
“I’m sorry.” Willow slumped a little. “When I lost her, everything just went red. It was all just raw pain.”
“I can imagine.” Buffy said but stopped herself. “No, actually I can’t. Willow all of that it’s done now, gone, over.” The Slayer stressed the truth.
“But it’s not.” Willow reached up to her neck. “Not in my head. It’s like it was only days ago but I look around and everything has changed. I meant not just Tara back, which is so precious to me but that everyone has grown, moved on.”
“We only changed to cope. Inside we all the same, we all need you.” Buffy reached out slightly to the redhead.
“I need you too.” Willow moved closer putting her hand in Buffy’s.
“I am so, so sorry.” Buffy felt tears spring irrationally to her eyes.
“No Buffy no.” Willow instantly pulled her into a hug. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” She felt herself tear up as well. “It was all me, all me.”
“I did, oh God I did.” Buffy held Willow tightly. “I did so much wrong.”
“I’m sorry I pulled you out of heaven, I shouldn’t have done that too you.” Willow wept a hard sob breaking out of her chest. “I just needed you back, we all needed you back.”
“Willow, you gave me a second chance and I treated you like you’d condemned me to hell. I should have been thanking you, not moping around with a chip on my shoulder.” Buffy pulled back a little reaching up to wipe tears from her own cheeks.
“But-But I should have been helping you re-adapt rather than going all evil magic bitch on you and endangering everyone.” Willow hugged her again.
“To be helped people have to want to get better.” Buffy hugged her again reassuring her. “I was happy being miserable.”
“And I got obsessed with being all powerful.” Willow found an astute clarity.
“You only wanted to change the things you felt hurt people.” The Slayer knew they were talking in circles but as she realized quickly, the most important thing is that they were talking.
“I had no right to use magic to do it.” Willow shook her head as she pulled back looking at her best friend.
“You used what you could.” Buffy shrugged knowing it wasn’t something they could change now. “I’d have done the same if I could have if I’d lost all you had.”
“Do you think she’ll leave me when I tell her?” Willow’s tears stifled to a stop her voice tiny.
“Tell her?” Buff asked as quietly.
“About what I did to her, how I took her memories.” Willow swallowed hard.
“She might.” Buffy said softly but honestly. “But you have to tell her.” She whispered the words wanting Willow to understand her position.
“I’m so glad you understand.” Willow hugged her again relieved to have found one ally in the house.
“You have to be honest with her, from the start, I understand that. I should have been honest with you all.” Buffy admitted as the brief hug ended.
“If I’m not honest with her its like I’m trying to hurt her all over again.” Willow nodded though she was scared of the possibilities she knew she had to be brave. “And I never, ever want to do that again.”
“Does she have any memories about what happened at all?” Buffy asked gently.
“No.” Willow’s voice squeaked.
“Ah.” Buffy made the small noise and rubbed the redhead’s arm softly.
“I just have to tell her... I mean she forgave me once... maybe...”
Willow took a slow breath. “Maybe she can forgive me again.”
“You need to tell her everything about it Will, not just the facts about you know, the spell, but everything going on at the same time.” Buffy advised gently.
“Even about Glory?” Willow made the statement like a question.
“That’s up to you Willow. I know from talking to Tara, before Warren, it was the combination of what Glory did and what you then did that made what you did seem so bad.” Buffy gave the small insight she had.
“Then that’s where I should start.” Willow tried to firm up her resolve a bit. “I... I just want her to have all of her back. Even if that means she hates me.”
“She never hated you.” Buffy stated shaking her head.
“But a lot of things have changed.” The redhead looked down.
“Like what?” Buffy encouraged her to explained.
“I became a murderer.” Willow’s voice was almost silent.
“She knows about that.” Buffy whispered reminding her friend of her girlfriend’s acceptance.
“Are you going to bed right away?” Willow shied away from the conversation a bit going to the fridge to get a drink.
“I don’t think so.” Buffy shook her head. “You want to sit for a while before you go up? I can be company or I can be silent.”
“We could sit.” Willow turned clutching the body of water.
“We could or you could go and see your girl. You’ve both had a tough day.” Buffy suggested softly not wanting to get rid of Willow but wanting her to have the freedom to go up to bed or stay if she wanted.
“Maybe I should check on her, we did almost get eaten by a direwolf.” Willow looked to the hallway. “And I mean that is something none of us are used to, especially her.’
“Never happened to me before.” Buffy tried a smile.
“New one for the book.” Willow tried to smile back. “Good night Buffy.” She shuffled over to the hall.
“Night.” Buffy stood still watching her move. “Oh Will?” She called after the redhead.
“Yes?” Willow stopped and turned.
“I believe in you.” She smiled again.
For a second it didn’t look possible to decide if Willow was going to cry or smile but after a second a broad emotional smile came across her face.
“I believe in you too.” She whispered holding hazel eyes for a second before she went upstairs.
*****
Buffy was about to collect a glass of juice and move through to the couch, when she passed the basement door. Willow’s words coming back to her about Xander’s deadly laundry.
For a moment she thought about it, after all the Spellcaster might need a hand moving some things around, just to find the bed.
‘And if she’s already settled I can just creep back out.’ Buffy told herself as she eased the handle down and stepped onto the first step
The soft sounds of sheets being rustled were the only real noise coming from downstairs. Buffy paused on the steps, unsure whether the noise was Madalene settling down to sleep, or doing her best to find clean laundry.
“Mmmm better.” Madalene commented to herself as she fluffed a newly covered pillow and put it at the top of the futon.
“How you doing down here?” Buffy said brightly and clearly as she moved down the stairs having heard the Spellcaster’s voice.
“Oh hi.” Madalene turned to look at her as she manhandled some stray clothes over closer to the washer. “Just trying to lessen the clutter so I can fall into bed and dream of direwolves.”
“Well I question your dream choice, but I can see the need for a clean up.” Buffy hurried over to help.
“Mmmm well to be honest I’m not sure if it’ll be dreaming or nightmares about evil creatures coming to eat everyone while I’m locked in a basement.” Madalene admitted coming back over and sitting on the bed.
“I can sit watch for you if you’d feel better.” Buffy offered seeing the discomfort on the brunette’s face.
“You could stay for a bit. If you’re not tired... I’m not really tired I just didn’t want to get in everyone’s way.” She patted the bed showing there was lots of room. “And yes that was my blatant plea for please keep me company.” She added her voice soft. Smiling back Buffy eased down glancing around at the chaos.
“So you think you can cope with sharing this place with Xander full time?” She looked at the stack of wood and drywall the carpenter had bought ready for the job of redesigning the basement.
“I don’t take up much room.” Madalene shrugged. “Though are you sure about this. I mean it might just be easier if I find a room or something, that way you’re less crowded. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“I’m sure.” Buffy said quickly. “It’s a basement Madalene, not the Queen’s palace or anything”
“I think it’s nice.” The Spellcaster smiled looking around. “It’s not the walls so much as the foundation.”
“I think only you could come out with something deep and meaningful about staying in a basement.” Buffy commented with a soft amused laugh.
“I try.” She laughed lightly. “Have to keep you on your toes.” She stuck out her tongue.
“Well you being in the basement won’t do that. Safest place in the house this is, when I’m not all crazy seeing asylum girl.” Buffy pointed out hoping to herself that when the area was renovated it would dull the memory of trying to kill all her friends.
“When you’re not?” Madalene raised an eyebrow.
“Oh it was a demon thing.” Buffy shrugged pushing the memory from her mind. It wasn’t something she liked to dwell on.
“You want to tell me about it?” The brunette offered pulling her legs up.
“No.” Buffy replied honestly. “Because I like you and no one deserves to have to sit through that story.”
“I like you too.” Madalene leaned back a bit against the pillow.
“So, we had an exciting day huh.” Buffy turned to look at the Spellcaster.
“We did.” She nodded her agreement. “Very bravely saved by you and a blessed sword I hear.”
“Well that was just a lucky guess.” Buffy didn’t want to take much credit.
“Do you ever just accept gratitude?” Madalene grinned at her.
“I could give it a go.” Buffy grinned back.
“Okay here’s how it goes.” Madalene pushed herself up onto her knees looking at the Slayer. “I give you a compliment and you’re going to nod and say thank you. If you don’t I’m going to bat you with this pillow.”
She teased the extra incentive for effect.
“Okay.” Buffy watched the brunette move biting back a laugh.
“Thank you very much for saving everyone from the direwolf Buffy.” Madalene leaned back a bit on her legs smiling as she spoke the gentle words.
“Thank you.” Buffy answered slowly. “But you know Xander and Willow had already done heaps.”
“I will thank both of them in the morning.” Madalene kept smiling as she brought the pillow up and gently walloped the Slayer. “But that’s for trying to sidestep me.” She giggled at the blonde’s shocked expression.
“Hey!” Buffy giggled back unable to believe she’d just been hit with a pillow.
“Hey what?” Madalene pulled back and walloped her again.
“I feel I should warn you, you so should not start a pillow fight with a slayer.” Buffy slid her hand up and gripped the second pillow.
“Why? You going to get lucky and figure out how to best me?” Madalene pulled the pillow back ready for another blow.
“It wouldn’t be a fair fight, I have slayer skills.” Buff pointed out not yet going on the offensive.
“You think your ancient prophecy says anything about pillows?” Madalene laughed and walloped her again for fun.
“Vampiric ones for sure.” Buffy flicked her pillow quickly at the Spellcaster. Madalene laughed as the pillow hit her arm and she reigned down another shot at Buffy’s head.
“Hey that was a head shot.” Buffy scowled at her jokingly. “Head shots are dangerous “ While talking Buffy flicked her pillow out again.
“You know you’re forgetting something very important?” Madalene dodged the attack and wiggled an eyebrow at the Slayer. “You’re pillow fighting with a witch.” She winked and Buffy’s pillow shot up hitting the Slayer in the head again.
“HEY!” Buffy laughed loudly and fell back onto the mattress.
“You give up already?” Madalene laughed with her leaning over with a raised pillow.
“You know you shouldn’t attack an unarmed person.” Buffy chastised looking up at the brunette.
“I think you’re more than capable.” Madalene corrected dropping down beside her.
“Oh I’m capable, just not armed.” Buffy grinned.
“You could probably throw me over your head with your pinkie finger, don’t think you need a whole arm.” The Spellcaster laughed more.
Buffy let her laughter die down slightly as she lay on the bed staring at the ceiling for a long moment.
“You okay?” Madalene asked feeling the slight seriousness creep into the room.
“Yeah, just thinking, you know.” Buffy shrugged and pushed to sit up again.
“Yeah.” Madalene didn’t move. “You want to share?”
“Could do.” Buffy shrugged again. “I was just thinking that it felt you know, good to laugh and do something silly like have a pillow fight. You know, how normal and ok it felt.” She tried to explain. “But then I remember the boarded up window, the fact we’re gong to need a new coffee table, the fact that all the people I care about nearly got killed, again and I remember how not normal my life is.”
“I don’t know how normal life will ever be with direwolves and mages and vampires running around.” Madalene offered sadly feeling the profound sadness in the Slayer’s words.
“They run around all the time and the rest of the world seem to manage to get by on normal.” Buffy’s voice was slightly bitter.
“But the rest of the world doesn’t want to pay attention to them, they’d rather live ignorant.” Madalene countered. “How many people have you saved and then seen in the daylight and they acted as if nothing had happened?”
“All of them, apart from Willow, Xander and a couple of others.” Buffy sighed.
“It’s not you Buffy.” Madalene reached up and rubbed the blonde’s shoulder. “The rest of the world is just helpless to understand let alone cope.”
“I’m just feeling the burden of slayerdom.” Buffy quoted the phrase Spike had told her that Faith had used about her.
“Then we need to unburden you with Chocolate sprinkles.” The Spellcaster smiled. “Preferably on top of a very large sundae.”
“Another firm believer in the healing power of ice-cream, chocolate and eating.” Buffy laughed as she looked at the other woman seeing her valiant attempt to lessen her heavy depression.
“Well Dawn has been priming me that it’s the best solution for everything.” Madalene smiled softly.
“As always we have supplies upstairs.” Buffy nodded to the door.
“You want me to go up and fix us something sinful?” Madalene offered.
“Sure. I’ll continue to fumigate down here.” Buffy nodded as she noticed the garbage can was overflowing.
***
By the time Willow reached the bedroom, the door was pulled to though not completely shut and the soft glow of the night-light filtered out from around it.
“Tara?” Willow questioned softly as she pushed it open and pushed inside.
“Right here.” Tara’s voice answered from the bed. The Wicca turned over and gave the redhead a soft smile.
“I thought maybe you’d fallen asleep.” Willow came in and put her clothes down on the chair having changed in the bathroom.
“I’d need my Willow pillow to do that.” Tara shook her head slightly and sat up against the pillows her blonde hair falling around her shoulders and over thin burgundy satin straps.
“Right here.” Willow moved over to the bed smiling as she slipped under the covers.
“Did you and Buffy have a chat?” Tara slid in close to Willow, hoping that the redhead wouldn’t disapprove of the night dress she had found when they had first unpacked her things, but hadn’t worn until now.
“Yes.” Willow nodded as Tara’s body pressed against her. “You look very beautiful.”
“Well as you seem to like pj’s I figured this had to be mine.” Tara smiled and leaned her head over Willow’s shoulder.
“Mmmm they are yours.” Willow reached her arm around Tara’s back.
“Did talking to Buffy make you feel better?” Tara asked as she nestled closer.
“Sort of.” Willow licked her lips as she tried to even out the combating ideas in her head. “Tara... I need to talk to you about some stuff.” She added her voice quiet.
“That’s a Willow serious tone.” Tara strained her neck up to look at Willow. “What is it sweetie, are you more hurt than I thought? Goddess, I shouldn’t be leaning on you.” The Wicca moved to pull away.
“No, no love.” Willow shook her head and hugged Tara lightly. “It’s just... I think I need to tell you about some stuff. Some of the stuff that happened.” She tried to keep some cadence to her words.
“And you will…” Tara assured her. “When the time is right.” She continued. “Sweetie, I understand why this has happened, tonight, well, it most certainly wasn’t normal, but I lay here thinking for a moment and I decided that it probably was normal, for us at least. But it was the first time, since coming back that either of us has been put into a position of danger like that. I think it made us both feel a little, you know, wobbly.” She took a breath. “I know right now you’re probably wanting to tell me about the world, about everything, all the great things and the not so great, but what we need to do is rest.” Tara nuzzled back into place.
“Are you sure?” Willow questioned feeling her lover’s words relax away all her worry and anxiety.
“I’m sure.” Tara underlined, closing her eyes.
“I love you.” Willow whispered kissing blonde hair lightly and hugging her tighter.
“I love you too Willow. Sir Knight Willow, my Willow.” She smiled but her smiled dimmed slightly as she opened her eyes in the dim light.
In the gloom, soft blue eyes focused on the light brown leather bag and a feeling crept into Tara’s heart that things were about to change forever.
Fade to black… The End… Grrr Arrg
thank you to everyone for reading and providing such wonderful feedback... Beth and I are already working on the next episode and it will include dealing with the diaries... consider that the official spoiler leak!
take care
kathleen and beth
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."
To The Land of The RainbowWriters
), Willow/Tara (woo hoo!! 
), Buffy/Mads (
Pixie parades around Beth's bed with a sign again - "Buffy + Madelene = Happy Maffy")
Anya always getting to the point, but showing the healing is starting from them. Mad/Buffy I am also enjoying (loved the pillow fight), and I like how with Mads she seems to be the one person that gives Buffy needed insight/a new perspective in seeing things (ie Madalene saying, "The rest of the world is just helpless to understand let alone cope."). 
)! But really W&T have a deep connection/love so in a way I look forward to seeing Tara's reaction to the "forget spell", and can't wait for the next part of their journey to continue! 
You left it there?? OH, that was just evil. Evil, I tells ya. 
She can't. 
I'm glad that their friendship is growing closer. Even if that's all the comes from their relationship, then I'll be happy. I'm anxious to see what happens between them later.
