Disclaimer All characters and locations belong to Mutant enemy and Joss Whedon. This is a non-profit fic written for the Kittens alone.
Background Season 4 during A New Man and The I in Team
Warning Some minor angst here although I promise it gets better fast. Slight cliffhanger warning too but another update should be with you by the weekend so don't throw those rocks at me.
Rating Still PG but there may be
You will have to read to find out.
Between The Lines
Chapter Seven – She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not
Willow woke to the combined effect of sunlight streaming across her face as it peeped out of the covers and the stompy morning sounds of Buffy Summers, vampire slayer, college student and creator of ungodly noise in the early hours. Stretching a little under the covers Willow could not decide whether to keep her eyes open or closed, it was morning and she was awake but the lure of her warm bed and a deep sleepiness kept dragging her back under. The decision was not really hers to make, as once again she closed her eyes to block out the sun and perhaps recapture the dreams of a few moments ago she was startled back into wakefulness by a loud crash, the crossbow Buffy had left on her nightstand had inevitably been knocked over by the exuberant Slayer as she prepared to meet the day.
“Sorry Will,” a slightly shamefaced Buffy appeared in front of her, “I was trying to be quiet I swear.”
“S’ ok” Willow mumbled as she sat up a little and rubbed her sleepy eyes, “what time is it anyway?”
“Just after eight,” Buffy cheerfully replied and then catching Willow’s slightly frosty expression added, “I know we don’t have early classes but it’s a great day and I was thinking maybe you, me and breakfast?”
“In bed?” Willow asked hopefully.
“Sorry Will, not going to happen, I feel the need for Xander size portions and I am not carrying that much food back here no matter how much I love you,” Willow put on her game face, “or how much you pout.” Game face denied.
“So you feel the need for a giant breakfast but what’s in it for me? Willow protested. “I mean I like breakfast, yay for waffles, but I don’t hear a compelling argument for getting out of bed early on the one weekday that I don’t have to.”
“I have two reasons that should persuade you,” Buffy smiled at Willow’s sceptical expression, “first it’s my treat and second I feel ready for the girl chat, with all the details, the vicarious smoochies as you put it.”
Willow perked up instantly, “that sounds like an offer I can’t refuse, Mocha and gossip are the two things worth giving up this bed for.”
“I thought you might see it that way,” Buffy laughed as she headed for the door, “I am heading to the bathroom, you better be out of that bed by the time I get back or no waffles for you.”
Willow felt a moment of perfect happiness as the door closed, it was a good thing she had not been cursed by gypsies like poor Angel she mused happily to herself, there was just no way that life could be any better right now. A couple of days ago she had been fairly miserable, certain that Tara did not want her and concerned at the growing distance between the old High School gang. That now seemed a lifetime ago as she prepared for a morning of best friend gossip with Buffy and reflected on the perfect night spent in the arms of the girl she was now sure she was falling in love with.
Although she knew she ought to get up and start getting ready for the waffle marathon she could not resist the lure of the memories of last night. When she had arrived at Tara’s dorm she had been hoping that the romantic nature of the spell might begin to persuade Tara to look at her in a different light, the possibility that they might end the night in each other’s arms had not occurred to her. The whole evening had been like a wonderful surprise and she had to admit the reality had far surpassed any fantasy she may have had. The tenderness she had felt in Tara’s embrace eclipsed anything she had experience before and any doubt she may have had that this was what she really wanted had melted with that first kiss.
Savouring the memories of the night just gone was a special pleasure, one that she could happily have indulged in all morning, but being Willow she was just as excited at the thought of making plans. The events of last night had been unexpected and left Willow unusually lost for words but now she was anxious to know what this all meant for the future. One make-out session in Tara’s dorm didn’t make them girlfriends but that was what she wanted them to be and she hoped and believed that Tara did too. The idea of going on an official first date was ok for a start but how would things work in the long run? In her previous relationship she had understood all of the social conventions she was expected to conform to, Oz was the guy so generally he was the one to ask her for dates and although she generally paid her way he still would always offer to pay when they went anywhere. Although she was not dancing with Tara the question of who would lead was a tricky one.
The only way to resolve this was to talk it through with Tara, they were equals and so they would have to work out what felt most comfortable for each of them. It was possible that Tara might not have wanted Willow to ask her on a date but would rather have done the asking, Willow didn’t mind who took the lead personally but assumed that as Tara was so shy it would probably fall to her. That was a dangerous line of thought though, she could at times be guilty of assuming too much and before she put her foot in it she really needed to talk this over with Tara and understand the other girls feelings on how their relationship should develop. She thought again of the idea of being girlfriends and suppressed a giggle at how much her parents would wig when she told them.
The sound of footsteps outside the door startled her out of her reverie and fearing it was Buffy returning she leapt out of bed. Buffy might be in a good mood but she probably wouldn’t be too pleased to catch her daydreaming when she was supposed to be getting ready, a cranky Slayer could be a health hazard. The steps passed on but suitably warned Willow continued to prepare, grabbing her wash things and heading for the bathroom. Thought of Tara would have to wait but she decided for certain that she was going to have to call her as soon as possible, Willow had their whole future to arrange and she needed Tara’s input.
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Tara pushed open the door to her dorm and before she had even made her way into the room her eyes had registered the lack of a tell tale flashing light on her answering machine. It was not as if she really expected Willow to have called yet, but still she could not help hoping nor help feeling disappointed that no call had come. The morning classes had been purgatory; Tara was not a natural student like Willow and so she needed to focus on her lessons, focus had however been beyond her as she had replayed last night over and over in her mind. All morning she had been impatient as if she felt she needed to be somewhere else, doing something else, but she could not put her finger on what that something might be.
Closing the door behind her she crossed to her desk and deposited her bag on the back of her chair. The magical feeling of the room was dispelled by daylight, the fairy lights and candles muted by the power of the sun. The effect today was more marked than ever, almost as if the harsh light of day rendered the events of last night part of some imaginary world that try though she might, Tara could not reach. The world of magic had always seemed to belong to the night but the spell that Willow had cast had nothing to do with Wicca or Roses, it was a spell forged from the union of two souls and it’s power had altered Tara forever. Last night she felt as though she had become another person, like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, she had felt years of sorrow and loneliness slip away from her. Tara fretted again at how insubstantial all of that now seemed, her feelings of the night before melting away like mist in the morning sunlight, her insecurities reaching up to pull her back down. No matter how hard she tried to capture the details of last night she could not shake the feeling that it was some kind of dream and now she was back in the real world, the world where she had always felt alone.
Tara kicked off her shoes and after collecting a drink from her fridge she sat on the bed and leant back as she puzzled over the confusing feelings that had tormented her all day. She knew that last night was real, Willow had been here and they had kissed, they had both confessed their attraction to one another and the secrets each had kept had been laid bare. If she was to be logical about things then she knew there was little to worry about, Willow could not have faked what she was feeling last night and she knew her own feelings were genuine. Logic however had little to do with her heart, Tara had lived a life in which she never seemed to get what she wanted, her needs and desires suppressed for so long that it was impossible to believe the truth of what had happened to her. Tara realised that she was being foolish to doubt Willow but she could not control the way she felt, her insecurity was a part of her and not something that she could just switch off and on.
The details were what worried her most of all, the night itself already seemed hazy in her memory and the more she thought about it the more it seemed that it had been about the moment. Her own suppressed desire for Willow had overwhelmed her from the first and she had been unable to think straight but it seemed Willow had been caught up in the moment too. Now that she lay here alone, thinking about what it all meant, she could not help but feel the icy hand of paranoia on her shoulder as she considered how little had been said about where they would go from here. There had been a brief discussion about a real first date but then there had been kissing, a lot of kissing, and talk about dates had been forgotten. Once the kissing had finally abated there had been holding and togetherness, neither girl ready to go where the kissing might lead them, but there had been almost no conversation until Willow had left, anxious that her roommate might worry if she didn’t come home.
When she had woken up that morning Tara had initially been filled with an almost overpowering sense of euphoria but that had begun to dissipate even before she had left for her first class. The doors that had been opened last night had introduced her to pleasure and joy beyond her wildest imagining but she was quickly starting to realise that the higher she flew the further there was to fall. Tara had never really felt like she had anything to lose but now she had the most precious thing in the world and since Willow had left it had become harder and harder to believe that any of it was real. The agony of being apart, of not knowing what Willow was thinking or when she would see her again, all was fuel for her insecurity. Had Willow meant the things she said? Was she having second thoughts now the moment had passed? Was this just curiosity that would pass before Willow headed back to boys town?
Tara sighed, there were no answers to these questions in her mind, only Willow could answer them and she had to trust she would in time. For now she could only wait and hope for a call that would let her know she had not dreamed it and that Willow was truly hers.
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Willow could not believe how rapidly her day had turned from perfect bliss to perfect misery. Her morning had been spent enjoying a leisurely breakfast and a good gossip session with Buffy followed by a trip to the library where she had daydreamed about Tara whilst pretending to work on an assignment. Afternoon classes had flown by and as she returned to her dorm she had been set on calling Tara as soon as she got home only to have her plans thrown into turmoil by Buffy and Xander and their talk of a demon attacking Xander in his basement. Heading over to Giles apartment she had just been mildly irritated at the interruption to her plans, it was probably Xander exaggerating and Giles would explain it all away in a moment and she could get back to what she really wanted to do.
The devastation at Giles apartment had rudely pulled her back to reality, something was out there and whatever it was it had taken Giles and done the Goddess only knows what to him. Sick with concern for her friend she now sat helplessly in his apartment waiting for Buffy to check in and praying that when she did it would be with good news. The strain of waiting and the feeling of helplessness was made worse by the fact that she was sharing her vigil with Xander and Anya, both of whom seemed to feel that bickering with each other was the best way to take their minds off their concern for the kindly Watcher.
Willow thought about calling Tara when she first realised that she was not going to get to see her tonight but there had been no opportunity. For one thing she could not get any kind of privacy with the live action Punch and Judy show being played out in the small apartment and for another Giles telephone appeared to have been smashed beyond repair by whatever had taken him. Willow felt a pang of guilt that she was unable to let Tara know where she was and then felt even more guilty for thinking of her own problems when Giles could be suffering who knows what kind of torment. She wanted to scream and shout in frustration but she had to bottle up her emotions until she could be alone.
“Why hasn’t she called,” Xander exclaimed, “she should have found him by now.”
“Called us how Xander?” Anya replied acerbically, “the telephone is smashed, but then again why would you notice, you never notice anything unless it hits you over the head.”
“If you can’t be constructive be quiet,” Xander growled, “you may not care but Giles is my friend and I don’t need a lecture on my shortcomings right now.”
“You never stop lecturing me,” Anya’s voice became shrill, “telling me how to behave, how I embarrass you,” she wagged her finger in Xander’s face, “so why can’t I tell you when you are wrong? Is this another of your stupid human rules, men and women can both make mistakes but you aren’t allowed to point them out when it’s a man who makes them?”
“Don’t wag your finger at me,” Xander snapped, “it’s nothing to do with being a man it’s just not the right time Anya, you may not care what happens to Giles but I do.”
“How dare you say I don’t care!” Anya’s voice was ear piercing now and Willow had had enough.
Unable to take anymore Willow stood up and walked out of Giles shattered door into the courtyard outside his apartment and suddenly everything was all right again, Giles, dressed in a ridiculously loud shirt, was headed down the steps with Buffy at his side.
“Giles, you are alright.” Willow rushed forward and hugged the Watcher, “you had me so worried.”
“Yes well, quite,” Giles polished his glasses to hide his embarrassment at the sudden show of affection, “come on inside and I will tell you about it.” Moving towards the door he paused, a pained expression on his face, “ah Anya is here, how delightful.”
“Come on Will,” Buffy added as she followed him to the door, “you are gonna flip when you hear this.”
Checking her watch Willow saw that it was too late to hope to get back in time to call Tara, gazing up at the stars she wondered what Tara was doing right now?
………………………………………………………….
Turning to look at the clock Tara sighed and put down the book she had been trying unsuccessfully to read, it was getting late and still Willow had not called and now it seemed she never would. Recalling what little had been said the night before Tara tried to figure out if she had misunderstood anything but she was clear on the fact that Willow had said she would call. She wanted to pick up the phone and end the waiting but if she did was that sending the wrong signal? Willow had her own life, had a lot of other friends, it was reasonable to think she may be busy and if Tara called then maybe Willow would think she was being too pushy. She so badly wanted to know where she stood and where things were going but the thought she might scare Willow off by being too clingy or suffocating was enough to stay Tara’s hand from reaching for the phone.
It was definitely too late for anything to happen tonight and so she might as well get ready for bed. It was no big deal, she couldn’t expect Willow to call or visit every day, they were still just starting out and they both needed their space. It all seemed so reasonable as she thought it but still the doubts in her mind persisted, what if Willow was not planning to call but was instead horrified by what had happened between them. It had all happened so fast that maybe she had not had time to think about her actions but had now had time to regret what she had done and was not sure how to explain to Tara that it was not going to happen. It was silly to feel this way but it was hard not to Tara thought as she got into the bed, she needed Willow to tell her that everything was going to be ok. She will call tomorrow Tara told herself but still it was a long time before her whispering insecurity allowed her to sleep.
…………………………………………………………………………..
Willow waved goodbye to Buffy as she left the Rocket Café and turned in the direction of Stevenson House. It was ironic that she had only recently been feeling disconnected from her friends and now she was having difficulty getting time away from them. She had been desperate to see Tara again but somehow events and her own reluctance to share Tara’s existence with her friends had conspired to keep her from even calling the other girl. First there had been Giles transformation into a demon and the panicky night that had followed, the next day she had foolishly dropped in on Xander and been roped into teaching Anya to play poker until it was again far too late to call and now today she was supposed to be meeting the gang for a night out at the Bronze.
If she had been willing to share her new relationship in public this could have been avoided, she could have told Xander that she couldn’t stay if she had admitted she wanted to go on a date or she could have asked Tara to come along tonight but she felt unable to be open yet when she was still working things out for herself. She had planned to call Tara after classes this morning and buy her lunch if she was free but unexpectedly Buffy had wanted to go for lunch and so she had again had to change her plans. It was not fair on Tara but until she was willing to tell her friends about her she was going to keep on getting caught out this way.
With just over an hour until her next class she was going to at least try to speak to Tara and let her know why she had not been in touch, hopefully they could meet up in the common room before class and maybe they could get around to making some concrete plans to see each other. Reaching her dorm she rushed to the telephone and hoped Tara would not be too upset with her for leaving it so long before calling again.
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Tara reached her dorm and before she had even closed the door the tears she had been fighting to hold back began to fall. The last couple of days had been a kind of living hell as she had waited and waited for Willow to call, the insecurity and doubt building within her as she wondered if maybe she had done something wrong or if Willow had decided she had made a mistake. Today she had been unable to shake the depression that had settled on her and then almost as she had given up hope, Willow called.
The call itself had lasted moments as they had arranged to meet in the common room and yet the transformation had been spectacular, as she had hung up the phone her heart had soared and all of the fears of the past few days had vanished. Now, only thirty minutes later, her heart felt cold, as it seemed her worst fears had been realised. Over the last couple of days she had been sure that not knowing Willow’s intentions was the worst feeling imaginable but now she knew how wrong she had been.
The meeting had been a disaster and although Willow had not talked specifically about their relationship she was pretty sure she had understood the subtext. First Willow had made some attempt to explain why she had not called but it was obvious to Tara that Willow was being evasive and hiding something from her, the details had been too vague and Willow was not a convincing liar. Tara had been prepared to ignore her misgivings even then, perhaps Willow had a good reason to keep secrets from her and would explain in time, she did have secrets of her own after all. What had happened next though had been impossible to ignore, she had tried to make plans to see Willow tonight and Willow had blown her off so casually that she had been unable to hide her heartbreak, in her distress she had made an excuse about needing to get to class just so that she could be alone with her misery.
Thinking again of how Willow had told her she already had other plans she was not even sure what the truth really was. Willow had again been vague; something about plans with other friends but Tara was not sure what to believe. Willow was either just trying to avoid being alone with her or she was ashamed to introduce her to her friends, it all added up to the same thing, Willow was not interested in a relationship after all. Tara had been willing to settle for just friendship with Willow but after what had happened it seemed impossible that they could just be friends, it seemed as though things were over before they had even begun.
Looking at where she had thrown her things on the bed she caught sight of the dolls eye crystal that she had offered to Willow in her naivety. She had been so giddy after Willow’s call that she had impulsively taken it with her, she had so wanted to give Willow something that represented how deeply she felt for her. Now she felt her cheeks burn with humiliation as she realised she had made a fool of herself, Willow had refused the gift, another sign that she did not share Tara’s feelings. How could she have been so wrong? In all of her life she had grown used to disappointment so how could she have allowed her guard to drop so disastrously now? It was because she had wanted it to be true, had wanted to believe that she could find love, now she just wanted the earth to open up and swallow her.
……………………………………………………………………….
Willow’s heart felt like lead in her chest as she walked to the Bronze for what was meant to be a night of fun with the old gang. She had replayed her conversation with Tara over and over in her mind and every time she cringed as she realised how insensitive she had been. She had been so wrapped up in her own world that she had not truly considered how Tara must be feeling after she had kissed her and then promptly disappeared on her for three days. It was obvious now that Tara had been desperate for some sign that she had not changed her mind and yet everything she had said and done had given the impression that she had done just that.
She had thought that she owed Tara some explanation for not calling and yet that had been a huge mistake, her reluctance to reveal all of her Scooby secrets had made her explanations vague and unbelievable. Rejecting Tara’s gift had been a mistake of even greater proportions, Willow still felt that she was undeserving of such a precious gift but the hurt in Tara’s eyes had been clear, as if she felt it was she who was being rejected rather than the gift. After all of that Willow had still managed to cause even more pain with her offhand explanation of why they could not meet tonight, once again her desire to keep Tara and her friends separate had caused her to be evasive. It was no wonder Tara had left at that point, Willow realised that if the situations had been reversed she would have felt devastated so she could easily imagine how much she had hurt Tara with her casual behaviour.
Approaching the entrance to the Bronze she forced a smile onto her face, it did not reach her eyes but she had to put on a brave face if she wanted to avoid awkward questions from her friends. Truthfully she wanted to forget the whole thing and run to Tara now to let her know just how sorry she was and just what a fool she had been but she had made a promise and she always kept her promises. Now she made another promise to herself, she would make it right with Tara and make up for all of the hurt she had caused with her thoughtless behaviour.
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“Willow?”
“A funny thing happened with my prior social engagement. Pretty much ended when a friend of mine went off to do something with another crowd she hangs out with. Irony is kind of ironic that way. Anyway, I know it's late, but I-I thought maybe-- I mean, if you still wanted to . . . do something?”
Tara smiled as she held the door open wide for Willow to enter, after the emotion of earlier in the day she had spent the evening working on her studies to take her mind off her heartbreak, hope had all but died. Now though, just the sight of Willow standing there had brought all of the emotion back again and hope flared anew in her heart, Willow had come to her. A tiny voice protested that she should not be so happy at being second choice but she refused to listen as she looked expectantly at Willow as the redhead nervously stood in the middle of the room.
“Were you busy?” Willow asked as she took in the notes and open textbooks that covered a large area of Tara’s bed.
“N-not so much, I was just about done actually.”
“Good, that’s good,” Willow shuffled nervously, “so you don’t mind? If I stay for a while I mean?”
“I want you to,” Tara smiled but it did not quite hide the sadness in her eyes, “you know that you are always w-welcome here.”
“Tara,” Willow’s voice betrayed her anxiety, “I’m sorry about..”
“No Willow,” Tara interrupted, “you d-don’t have to apologise.”
“Yes I do,” Willow forced herself to look Tara in the eye as she spoke, “I know I hurt you, whether you want to admit it or not, and I need you to know I am sorry and it won’t happen again. I should have called you sooner, I just got so wrapped up in my own problems and then today, the way we left things, I was so stupid.”
“You don’t have to explain,” Tara lied, she wanted to know what was happening, why Willow seemed so evasive with her and kept disappearing on her but she didn’t want to risk further pain, “we can do something if you l-like, a spell maybe?”
Willow’s eyes fell on the dolls eye crystal and she wanted desperately to take Tara up on her offer but she knew that she was being offered an easy way out and it would be wrong to take it. “Maybe later,” Willow gestured towards the bed, “why don’t we sit down?”
“Ok,” Tara agreed and hurriedly cleared away her work, with the bed clear she gestured for Willow to sit and then joined her, sitting close but not yet touching.
“Tara,” Willow took Tara’s hands in her own, “I meant everything I said to you before, how I want us to be together, you do know that right?”
“Y-yes.” Tara replied unconvincingly.
“Is that yes spelt m-a-y-b-e?” Willow could see the confusion in Tara’s eyes, “I know the way I behaved earlier gave you reason to doubt me.”
“I believe you it’s just,” Tara tried to explain, “when I am with you I can b-believe but then you go away and it’s like it can’t be real.”
“I didn’t think, here I am with all of these thoughts about how this is all new to me and it’s all new for you too isn’t it?” Tara nodded as Willow continued, “I have all of these things distracting me and I go off and leave you and I didn’t even think about what you were going through.”
“I shouldn’t d-doubt you.”
“Why not? I gave you enough reasons, not calling for days and then putting my friends before you. I would doubt me, that’s what I realised, if I was in your shoes I would have doubted me a whole lot and again, I am sorry.”
“It’s better already,” Tara smiled, “no more apologies.”
“So you forgive me,” Willow flashed a smile.
“Forgiven,” Tara nodded, “I p-promise.”
“I still owe you an explanation though, for the disappearing act, it’s just that I don’t know if you will believe me if I tell you.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not exactly normal, it’s complicated and you might think I need to see the nice people in the white coats.”
“You d-don’t have to tell me,” Tara was crying out to know the truth but wouldn’t push, “but I will believe whatever you say if you do.”
“Ok, well you know how things in Sunnydale are not exactly normal?”
…………………………………………………………….
Tara giggled, “I still can’t believe Buffy is the Slayer.”
Willow lay propped on her arm looking down at the giggling blonde, “why do you say that?”
“She is just so t-tiny,” Tara explained, “I mean she doesn’t look like a superhero.”
“But you believe me?”
“Of course Willow,” Tara pulled herself back up into a sitting position, “I always knew there was a lot m-more to the world than the things we see. When you live with magic everyday the supernatural is just the natural.”
“Speaking of magic.” Willow let the comment hang there.
“You want to do a s-spell?”
“Only if you want to,” Willow looked at her watch, “it’s after midnight so if you want me to go?”
“No, stay,” Tara stepped up from the bed and reaching for Willow’s hand pulled the other girl up to stand beside her. “My choice this t-time.”
Tara caught herself humming as she directed Willow to sit on a cushion while she collected the things she would need for the spell. The happiness bubbled up from inside her as she realised that her anxieties had all left her, she felt that Willow’s decision to tell the truth about her friends signalled another step forward in their relationship. The spell she wanted to perform was a simple one but she hoped that Willow would understand why she chose it.
“Ok,” Tara sat facing Willow and placed a small burner between them, “this is another t-test of synchronicity. We can use the dolls eye crystal to amplify our powers.”
“Cool, will there be petals?” Willow laughed.
“Maybe,” Tara nodded, “if our connection is strong enough.”
“We are going to make them?”
“In a way,” Tara gestured towards the burner, “we are going to link hands and try to c-control the direction of the smoke, if we can do that then we can try to form patterns with it, my mother taught me like this.”
Wow,” Willow’s eyes shone with excitement, “light it,” she commanded, “this will be amazing.”
Tara lit the burner and watched as a slow spiral of smoke began to climb toward the ceiling. Satisfied that it was fully alight she picked up the dolls eye crystal then linked hands with Willow and began to concentrate, “ready?”
“Ready,” Willow agreed and focused on joining her power with Tara. The connection was there as strong as it had been when they first had joined hands to move the soda machine.
“We start by smoothing the flow of the smoke,” Tara explained, “see the way it swirls, we p-picture it as a straight column and if we are joined it should work.”
Willow understood and could feel their minds unified already, within an instant the random, swirling column of smoke had straightened into a perfect line.
“Good,” Tara enthused, “do you feel the connection?”
“I feel you.” Willow smiled and her smile grew wider at the blush that coloured Tara’s cheeks.
“Later maybe,” Tara tried a little spicy talk. “Do you w-want to see what we can do?”
“Sure,” Willow was distracted at the thought of later but she was enjoying the feel of the magic, “how do we decide?”
“We choose what we want to form and then we n-need to focus on creating it, if we are in perfect synch we can create in h-harmony, if we are not together it fails.”
“So it’s like a test,” Willow enthused, “I love tests.”
“Start simple,” Tara cautioned, “maybe a circle?”
Willow focused on the image of a circle within her mind and continued to smooth the smoke as it flowed from the burner, opening her eyes again she was delighted to see a perfect circle of smoke hovering in the air between them.
“Now you choose,” Tara smiled at the expression of joy on Willow’s face as she contemplated the circle between them.
……………………………………………………….
Willow had marvelled at the feel of the magic as she worked it with Tara, joined and amplified through the dolls eye crystal held jointly in their hands. They had amused each other for what had felt like moments but was probably far longer as they twisted the column of smoke into whatever caught their imagination. Tara had decided to end by creating a heart that now hovered between them, perfect in itself but Willow felt the need for one more final touch. “A Rose,” she began, “but through the heart.”
Tara was delighted at how powerful the connection felt, it was more than just the use of the crystal as a focus item, the shared closeness of the other night had brought them even more in tune and they were managing the kind of synchronicity usually only seen in casters who had worked together for years. Smiling at Willow’s romantic notion she concentrated on a rose, splitting off some of the smoke as she focused on maintaining the heart shape and then slowly combining the two images.
Enchanted they both looked in wonder at their creation for a few moments before finally Tara broke the spell. “I need a b-break, the smoke is kind of hurting my eyes too,” she giggled.
“So pretty,” Willow replied, “the heart was nice too,” she added with a wink as Tara felt herself blush again at the sly compliment.
“You should rest b-before you go,” Tara could feel the shakiness that followed intense casting and guessed Willow would not be too steady either, “just lay down while you get some strength b-back.”
“Vixen,” Willow teased, “you sure you don’t have more than rest on your mind?”
Tara felt she could not blush any deeper, still she enjoyed the playfulness of Willow’s mood and she could not deny the effect that casting together was having on her. She moved over to the bed, not trusting herself to reply, then gestured for Willow to lay beside her.
“You feel it too?” Willow had to know.
“I feel it,” Tara agreed, “sharing something so intense, if you are attracted it heightens the feelings.”
“Hmm feeling,” Willow smiled, “so is now the later you were referring too?”
“I think so,” Tara’s voice grew hushed as she realised how intently Willow was looking at her, “w-what were you thinking?”
“I was thinking it has been too long since I kissed you.”
“Much too long,” Tara agreed, “why d..” her words were silenced as Willow’s lips closed over hers.
…………………………………………………
The kissing had seemed to last only moments but as they separated, momentarily spent, Tara caught sight of her clock and was shocked to realise it was 4am. She had to let Willow go, they both had classes tomorrow, or rather later today, and they would need some sleep if they were going to be able to function.
“Why are we stopping?” Willow complained from beside her.
“The time,” Tara began, “we kind of lost t-track, its late Willow.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Willow began but had to stifle a yawn, “I don’t want this to end.”
“I need a drink,” Tara scooted off the bed, “d-do you want some water.”
“Sure,” Willow smiled up at Tara as the blonde picked her way across the room by the soft glow of the fairy lights. Willow stretched a little on the bed, luxuriating in the rush of sensations the night had brought. She had made things right with Tara and then the magic had taken over, both the casting kind and the two girls together kind. The kissing had been even more wonderful than before but still she had not allowed things to go any further, at least not much further. The first time when they had kissed she had pretty much kept her hands to herself but this time she had allowed herself the luxury of touching, nothing serious but a little tentative exploration that hinted at the pleasures still to come when the time was right.
Sitting up on the bed she watched as Tara prepared the drinks and wondered if she dared ask what was on her mind, it felt right but would Tara think her too forward? It was innocent enough really and after all that had happened so far she doubted that Tara would object.
“For you,” Tara smiled and handed Willow a glass.
“Thanks,” Willow returned the smile and then decided to take the plunge before her nerve failed. “Tara, I was thinking about buying you breakfast.”
“Now?” Tara looked momentarily confused, “it’s a little early.”
“No silly,” Willow laughed, “in the morning, I mean, it’s morning now but you need to go to bed and then get up before breakfast, otherwise it’s a late late supper.”
“You want to meet for b-breakfast in the morning?”
“No,” Willow felt her heart rate increase at her daring, “I want to wake up with you and take you for breakfast.”
“You mean?”
“I mean, can I stay tonight?”
“Stay with m-me?”
“Yes you, I know I could go but I want to keep on holding you,” Willow’s voice dropped to a whisper, “and I want to be here to see you when you wake up.”
“W-willow, I would,” Tara could hardly believe this was happening, “I mean yes, I want you to s-stay.”
“Good that’s settled then,” Willow smiled and pulled Tara close to her again, “and I will pay for my lodging with a breakfast fit for a Queen.” Willow cupped Tara’s face in her hands and moved ever closer, “kiss now?”
“Yes p-please,” Tara giggled as they sank back into one another’s embrace.