The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 1:18 pm 
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13. Big Knowledge Woman
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2nd DIBS!

that was terrific! faith is just too sweet and the whole thing with joyce shouting at down from the kitchen....hilarious! i loved it, like always. good job!

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 3:32 pm 
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Quote:
"Buffnr ElfSlayer Ahrimanes the Dimwitted it is," Carlos replied. "Hey, don't scowl at me, you're the one with the intelligence score of 6, Buffy."

Oh Buffy.. cant even impress a bunch of teens :D
Really liked what Joyce said about Riley :smash
Vin Diesel? Nerdy? I didnt know he plays DnD... well, I didnt think Dawn would either but I think that's a cool addition to her character.
The last bit just had me rolling on the floor. Faith playing for the loan :rofl
Brilliant :x

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 5:17 pm 
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OY!

Faith is like sugar. Sugar sugar sweet love love Buffy. Though the chapter was a very Wara-lite one, the Fuffy goodness had be giggling. It was positively fluffy! I very much enjoyed Faith vs. greedy Banker-man. Fighting over death through Gran Turismo? An excellent idea that should be introduced formally to the public and to religion.

Oh, and Joyce was wonderful in this chapter. "Stop monopolizing your sister's honey, honey"?!?! HAHA! Oh I missed Joyce in those last couple of seasons. Gotta say, you've still got your humorous touch. And hey, it's gold

-beanie

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:36 pm 
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13. Big Knowledge Woman
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UO,
Buffy's forays into the land of the timber in search of love and orgasms have been distinguished primarily by the crash and burn quality which her friends and loved ones could see for miles away.
Brooding guy, frat boy, and naive hayseed farmboy a.k.a Angel, Parker, and Riley would drive any mother to hope that something better would come along.
And hey presto, Faith appears in all her cleavagey slutbomby goodness, oozing black leather and tattoos proclaiming her love and desire to make Buffy bring new meaning to the song "Have a Little Faith in Me."
A sincere shout out to Joyce for openly accepting Faith despite any initial reservations she may have felt upon being exposed to Faith's naked raw persona of scarred psyche and enough emotional baggage to fill a Samsonite warehouse.
Joyce could see it written large on Buffy's face that Faith made her happy and that Faith had a hypnotic effect upon all of Buffy's friends and particularly upon Dawn, as a surrogate big sister.
I don't want Willow and Tara to get in a car with Buffy behind the wheel either as that may permanently incapacitate them and then how would we get our vicarious Willow and Tara kisses and gay love?
The warm and comforting family dynamic of Joyce playfully indulging her two daughters in their bickering and fighting with each other was precisely the environment which would entice Faith to stick around and be all supporto-girlfriend to Buffy.
Again, I can hear the dialogue as spoken by the characters which is the hallmark of one of your stories and this series in particular.
Quote:
Mom!" Buffy shouted to Joyce in the kitchen. "Dawn and her friends are worshipping Satan again!"

"Stop worshipping Satan, honey," Joyce called back from the kitchen

Quote:
"Playing Dungeons and Dragons is not worshipping Satan. Butthole," she muttered under her breath.

"Mom!" Buffy called out again. "Dawn just called me a butthole!"

"Don't call your sister a butthole, honey!" Joyce called back from the kitchen.

I was very amused by the metaphysical discussion of the ambiguities when picking a character to imbue your essence with and why your fantasy self can't have your name.
All of the D&D passages were a return to those thrilling days of yesteryear or at least another instance of The Eye of Argon rearing its Krakenish head from benath the depths of the Stygian blackness yet again.
As to the matter of Faith and the bank manager, I am glad that those individuals in the reaping/harvesting/collecting of souls trade don't have any of those namby-pamby codes against using their particualr supernatural skills for personal gain like those rubbish Halliwell sisters always got stuck with.
What is the point of having supernatural abilities if you can't buy your sweetie/lover/helpmeet a martial arts studio with the help of threatening the bank manager if he doesn't okay the loan?

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 11:08 am 
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5. Willowhand
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All hail the Joyce! The DnD game was priceless, I really loved it. I've never played, but I have lots of friends who do, and this really agrees with what I see sometimes. Tara's argument about what her character should be named was hilarious.

I can't say that I'm a big Buffy/Faith fan, but at least you make it believable. And Faith as a character is winning big smiles from me.

:)

Great update.


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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 6:38 pm 
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Wow, this is bloody brilliant! Ive actually stayed up till 2:40 am to read this, its addictive! You really have the characters well written, witty and humerous. Absolutely amazing. Id say something else but Im going to go collapse on my bed now.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 4:12 am 
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Yes Willow and Tara were present, and very welcome, but the Buffy & Faith show was strong enough to stand on its own too. I really like the relationship between Faith and Joyce, the combination of their sort of hesitant, faltering attempts to see each other's points of view - like Faith awkwardly helping in the kitchen, and Joyce awkwardly seeing the positives in such non-motherly topics as Faith's tattoo, and her and Buffy's, ahem, healthy physical relationship - and beneath that a genuine respect for each other that's grown as they've gotten used to the other's differences. Because I think they're more similar than it'd seem - for all of Faith's flambouyance and ass-kickin' style, I think there's a part of her that digs comfort and being kind of domestic, part of a family. And Joyce, for her part, clearly has a cleverly-camouflaged smart-ass nature in her, as witnessed by her increasingly hilarious off-screen interventions in Buffy and Dawn's bickering. She's not so much being the mother-figure as making fun of it - "Stop worshipping Satan, honey," :lol - which makes her the definition of Cool Mom.

Speaking of them, I liked that Faith stood up for Buffy to Dawn, and I didn't see it at all as just her standing up for her girlfriend - it's like she's comfortable enough now in the Summers family that she can weigh in, kind of like one imagines Joyce must do now and then, when Buffy and Dawn's bickering threatens to move out of the playful area and into actual hurtful antagonism.

I really liked the scene between Buffy and Mister Miyagi - he had such a brief appearance, but you wrote it so elegantly that so many aspects of him came through. The depth of his love for his wife, his own inner strength, his dignity, his sense of humour - that being crucial to believing that the guy could not just tolerate but teach Buffy, which I think is what sells the idea that she's capable of taking over the school for him. There's a real sense that there's a very deep, very profound master/student thing going on, and that Buffy has been able to absorb the tremendous amount that Miyagi has to teach.

Following on from that, go Faith ;-) The idea of playing Gran Turismo with Death is hilarous - harks back to the contest in Bill & Ted 2, with twister and battleship and so forth ("Uh... best three out of five!"). And, in a less happy note, makes me realise that I'm probably screwed on getting a second chance if a reaper shows up - I play a lot of games, but I'm rarely actually good at them. Oh well, them's the breaks. I did used to be pretty good at Where The Heck Is Carmen Sandiego?, so hopefully that's an option when the time comes.

The roleplaying segment was awesome, because I know exactly what that's like - the atmosphere-setting, the eagerness of the players, the feeling when everything goes pear-shaped and it just turns into one bad idea on top of another. Buffnr and Dopey were particularly hilarious, though Amber's well-meaning alerting of the enemy had a special kind of cuteness to it. Bards, huh... I kind of hope the game will turn into a regular thing, and we'll get more updates on the interesting and varied career of Buffy the Barbarian and her associates.

I had another thought, which I meant to ask last chapter, but forgot - is there a range on the teleportation Tara can do? It just occurred to me, in spite of all the fun of flying first-class, could she and Willow just teleport to Europe any time they feel like an afternoon of skiing, or what?

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 8:09 am 
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G'day, UO! A bit late on the FB front perhaps, but with any luck, this feedback won't get eaten by the internet gremlins like last time. :grin

There's some nice familial bonding here, with Faith and Joyce both trying to become closer. It's not the sort of thing that'll happen overnight, but everyone will be happier for it.

Personally, I think that it's good that Joyce had some misgivings about Faith to begin with. It just shows that Joyce has Buffy's best interests at heart.

The entire DnD portion was an absolute riot, as was the sibling rivalry between Buffy and Dawn.

As for Faith's visit to the Scrooge-wannabe: :lmao Now, while Faith might have appeared in the tradional image of Death, she certainly didn't seem to speak or act in the same manner.

Quote:
"For thee, thou bell did tollest and stuff!"


:rofl

Great update, mate!

Cheers,
Paul.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 2:29 pm 
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Caz - Hell, no. I'd rather ride with Super Dave than Buffy, and that's saying a lot. :) Joyce and Faith are growing on each other, with Buffy as the catalyst. ;) And, yeah, Faith and Tara had a good laugh about Amy's 'punishment'. :) Update in a few seconds.

Thianne - Thank you! Glad you liked it.

WillowRulez - Nope. Poor Buff. ;-) Well, at least she can still impress Faith. Yeah, Vin Diesel is a longtime Dnd player and even wrote the introduction to the book about Dnd released on its 30th anniversary. Oddly enough, I think Dnd would really be Dawn's thing, though. Glad you approve of Faith's 'action'. :)

Beanie - Oh, yeah, Faith'd definitely go out on a limb for Buffy. Fuffy, heh, that sounds funny. :) Almost like Fluffy. :party Heh, introduction into religion? Hm, I always thought the Bible could be spiced up with videogame characters. The Holy Croft, Agent 47 massacring Romans, the sacred city of Baldur's Nazareth... we should fit Grand Theft Auto in there some way too. :) Thank you for your compliment. I'll have an update out soon.

Taralicious - Surprise, surprise, Faith is a better match for Buffy than all those doomed relationships with the timber-bearing. ;-) Joyce sees that Faith is truly willing to make an effort to fit into the family and that she makes Buffy happy. If you're afraid of Willow and Tara getting behind the wheel with Buffy, the next chapter should please you. :)

I have to admit that the 'not using your own name' would be one of the few rules that'd be set in stone when I DM a game. I'm a pretty easy-going DM, but I've noticed that naming characters after yourself tends to get in the way of roleplaying and the fun of pretending to be someone else. And the Eye of Argon, well, it is one of my favorite stories... because it's so bad. :)

Oh, there are Halliwell type rules officially, against the abuse of power... it's just that nobody enforces them. :)

nol33t - Heh, I'm longtime DnD player/fan, but I don't have qualms against making fun of it. Laughing at yourself is important, after all. Glad you enjoy this version of Faith. She's somewhat more laid-back than the Faith on the show, I feel.

Take.A.Chance - Heya, welcome to the show! I'm happy you've enjoyed my story. I've certainly enjoyed putting it to paper (well, no paper was ever involved, but it's the thought that counts:D). I hope you slept well. Thanks again!

Chris - As usual, you're very astute. I've put Faith down as deeply independant, due to a bad childhood, but at the same time being terribly lonely. Part of Faith does want the coziness of a family life, and she enjoys spending time with Buffy's family. In fact, she's been spending much more time at Casa de Summers than at her own apartment. Faith is definitely growing on Joyce.

As for Faith defending Buffy, that's exactly what I meant to say. :) Faith has gained somewhat of a place in the household and feels confident in that to weigh in.

Mister Myagi (based on the Pat Morita character, obviously :D) was one of those minor characters that started a life of his own. I'm glad it worked out fine, seeing he's only got a bit-part. Mister Myagi's been teaching Buffy from a very young age, so Buffy trusts him completely and Myagi has literally seen her grow up. That creates a deep bond, I think.

Quote:
And, in a less happy note, makes me realise that I'm probably screwed on getting a second chance if a reaper shows up - I play a lot of games, but I'm rarely actually good at them. Oh well, them's the breaks. I did used to be pretty good at Where The Heck Is Carmen Sandiego?, so hopefully that's an option when the time comes.


Oh, I'm sure something could be arranged when the time comes. :)

Quote:
The roleplaying segment was awesome, because I know exactly what that's like - the atmosphere-setting, the eagerness of the players, the feeling when everything goes pear-shaped and it just turns into one bad idea on top of another. Buffnr and Dopey were particularly hilarious, though Amber's well-meaning alerting of the enemy had a special kind of cuteness to it. Bards, huh... I kind of hope the game will turn into a regular thing, and we'll get more updates on the interesting and varied career of Buffy the Barbarian and her associates.


Probably no more installments of the Dnd adventure, but I'm not ruling anything out. I'll be DMing my friends when I'll go on holidays soon, and they really are a bunch of nutters. Such weirdness usually worms their way into my stories. :)

Quote:
I had another thought, which I meant to ask last chapter, but forgot - is there a range on the teleportation Tara can do? It just occurred to me, in spite of all the fun of flying first-class, could she and Willow just teleport to Europe any time they feel like an afternoon of skiing, or what?


This is one of those things I thought out but will probably never be in the story. Being Ethereal burns off a lot of energy of the Reaper. I had intended to put a line in the story that 'Faith eats like a pig and she never gains any weight'. That's because, as a harvester, Faith spends a lot of time in ethereal form, so she burns off a lot of energy. Now for your question... I've determined that the farther a Reaper teleports, the more energy they burn off, and the more tired they are when they arrive. After Tara teleported both herself and Willow from Canada (in several shorter steps) to Sunnydale, she slept for two days straight. If Tara and Willow had teleported from America to Switzerland in a single bound, Tara'd be out of commission for a week, which is not a nice way to spend a holiday. Curving of the Earth's surface also provides problems since I've decided that Reapers can only teleport in a straight line.

I hope that answers your question, though... I tend to overthink these sort of things, perhaps. :)

Paul - That's okay, Paul. Glad you're here.

I don't think this sort of bonding should happen overnight. I think from a mother's perspective, it'd be kind of unusual to find your daughter dating another girl. I can imagine that'd be something to have to deal with, even if one's open-minded. Some things just take time, but eventually turn out right. Joyce knows that Buffy had bad break-ups, so she's scrutinizing Faith, but not because she's girl per se, but because she's worried Buffy's heart'll be broken yet again.

Glad you liked the DnD portion. I certainly loved writing it. Faith doesn't exactly use impressively good ye olde english, huh? :)

Thanks!

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 2:33 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Well, I surprised myself by being able to finish this part before I leave for holiday. Between preparing for that and building the DnD game for my friends, I hardly had any time for Willow and Tara these days. :( Building your own DnD campaign is much more fun than using a pre-made one, but it's very time consuming. Anyway, enjoy this story. I'll be back in August. :)

Title - Don't fear the Reaper.

Chapter 23 : Carshopping.

Author name - Useful_Oxymoron

Email Address - Viernadevir@hotmail.com

Rating - PG-13. humor about death isn't everybody's cup of tea.

Disclaimer - Well, I don't own Willow or Tara. And if I did, I'd set them free.

Feedback- Is cool. It's always nice to know somebody liked the crap I write.

Summary- The secret is out and Willow and Tara are still together. How will their life together develop from this point?

Notes- Influences for this story: The wonderful film The Frighteners (which everybody should see), lightly Dead Like Me, Terry Pratchett and the Blue Oyster Cult.

Italics are thoughts and in this case, story segments.

[hr]
Tara stopped as she stood before the Sunnydale Martial Arts Studio, which Buffy had recently bought. The Smas, as the studio was often referred to, had a prime location in the main street, a large building shoehorned in between shops, boutiques and coffee shops. Willow had asked to meet her here, claiming she had a surprise for Tara, even though she already had a pretty good idea what Willow wanted to surprise her with.

The lobby was large and lit by a nice skylight. Beyond the receptionist's desk were two large windows, allowing visitors to look in on two of the eight exercise rooms the Smas possessed. But what surprised Tara the most was not the room but the receptionist.

"Hey, T!" Faith waved at her from behind the receptionist desk.

"Faith?" Tara half-smiled. "Making a little money on the side?"

'Ting', sounded the little bell from the other side of the round receptionist desk.

"Nah, just helping out B. until she gets around to hiring a new receptionist," Faith grinned. "Hey, check this out," she held out a name tag pinned to her black shirt. It was handwritten by Buffy and the dot on the eye was shaped like a little heart. "Cool, huh?"

'Ting', sounded the little bell again.

"A name tag?" Tara smiled. "You're easy to please, Faith."

"Funny, that's what Buffy said too."

"Still...You? A receptionist?" Tara frowned.

"Hey, can be customer-friendly. It's all about being polite. Besides, I only have to point out where the toilets and the offices are and..."

'Ting', sounded again.

"Uhm," Tara pointed at a considerably irate customer standing at the other side of the desk. "Shouldn't you, um..."

'Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting...'

"HEY!" Faith shouted at the customer. "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TALKING TO MY BEST FRIEND HERE? NOW STOP RINGING THAT BELL BEFORE I MAKE YOU EAT THE DAMN THING!"

She turned back to Tara. "Now, as I were saying, I can do customer relations just fine."

"Yes," Tara rolled her eyes. "I heard that."

"Hey, lady!" said the bell-ringer. "Can I get some service here, or what?"

"Talk to the dog!" Faith crossed her arms and looked at the man angrily. Immediately, a huge mastiff put her paws on the desk and stood at full height on her hind legs. Buffy the pooch raised her lip and growled sightly.

"Alright, alright," the would-be customer retreated and headed towards the front door. The canine Buffy calmed down and retreated to her basket behind the desk.

"B, Red and Anya are in the office back there," Faith smiled. "Oh, lemme know if we'll still be doing Playstation this weekend, T."

"I'm pretty sure we will," Tara smiled. "All the paperwork is done, all the souls have been delivered. I'll have a quiet week."

Tara waved a goodbye to Faith who turned to help another customer, hoping that Buffy'd find another receptionist soon before Faith's directness would put her out of business.

Tara passed one of the windows and watched one of the judo classes for a moment. She spotted Xander in the back, measuring up one of the back walls and waved to him when he noticed her. He waved back and, after a moment, briefly ogled two of the girl students who were down on the mats struggling to get each other into disabling grip. Tara didn't blame her as she watched the two girls struggle, and briefly wondered if the temperature in the room had suddenly gone up. She blushed slightly and quickly continued on her way.

She knocked on the office door and found Buffy, mister Myagi, Anya and Willow sitting around a desk. Buffy was rubbing her head as she poured over the book, while Anya and Willow were in the middle of a heated argument. So far, nobody seemed to have noticed her coming in.

Mister Myagi would be staying in the US for a few more weeks and had promised to help out Buffy with the books of the Smas. Buffy had also asked Anya, a business economics student, for advice and Willow had taken it upon herself to make sure that Anya wouldn't try to talk Buffy into turning her school into a Casino/Martial Arts Studio.

"It's a golden combination!" Anya stressed. "Just picture it: Judo... Karate... Jui-Jitsu... Kung Fu... Sushi-bar!"

"Oh, come on, you're always like this," Willow crossed her arms. "Where's Buffy going to find the money to have a sushi-bar installed? And where should we put it? She'd have to sacrifice one of the classrooms and that means less income. "

"But it's an investment on the long run! Just take a look at this prognosis..."

At this point, mister Myagi broke in. "There is an ancient Japanese proverb which applies here. It goes like this: Anya's open mouth should be shut."

Anya bit her lip. "That doesn't sound like an ancient proverb."

Buffy sighed heavily. "I never thought running a school would involve so many numbers."

"You'll get there, young Buffy," Mister Myagi put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "And the bickering pair of hens here haven't even noticed the lovely young lady that has just entered the office."

"TARA!" Willow almost pounced on her lover. "Hi, baby, how are you?"

"Oh, NOW she's happy," Anya rolled her eyes.

"Fine," Tara kissed Willow on the lips while the red-head pulled her out of the room. Willow grinned and pulled out a laminated card which read : 'California Driver's License. Willow D. Rosenberg'. An extremely goofy picture of Willow was branded by a stamp from the DMV.

"Ah, congratulations, sweetie," Tara smiled and hugged her girlfriend. Willow'd been trying to get her driver's license for months now, but always failed the road exams.

"Well, the instructor said I still tend to overthink the situations on the road too much, but she passed me anyway. Like today, I was waiting to cross at the intersection right outside of my old apartment. So I was waiting there, thinking that if I'd go ahead, I might cut off the car coming from the left and if that driver got frustrated by that, he or she might have pulled out too quickly... and because my car obscured the crossing to my right, he or she could have plowed down a pedestrian, so I let the other car pass first to avoid trouble. My instructor just sighed when I told her my reasoning... and then she just passed me on the spot and said she never wanted to see me in her driving classes again. Kinda weird, actually."

"Well," Tara smiled. "We should celebrate this. Remember how we put away 75 dollars a month in a jar when you started driver's ed? There's quite a bit of money in that jar now."

---

"This is our last trip with the bus," Willow grinned when she and Tara arrived at the outskirts of Sunnydale, getting to ready to buy their first used car. Honest SuperDave's Used Cars was the premier source of previously owned vehicles, specialized in servicing young people who wanted to buy their first car.

"Okay," Willow said while she took out her notepad. "We want a car that has a good milage, is in reasonably good shape, has room in the back for luggage and groceries, not to much miles on the counter. We'll put airconditioning on the 'would be nice' list... room on the back seat would be nice too," Willow blushed slightly. "For, um, trips to inspiration point."

"Gotcha," Tara blushed slightly as well.

The girlfriends stepped onto the lot, surrounded by cars of all shapes and sizes. From tiny micros, to durable cadillacs to the occasional classic car. Immediately, SuperDave stepped out of his office to greet the two girls.

"Hey," Willow frowned. "Isn't he that stunt man who had that funny show in the eighties?"

Just before he could open his mouth, SuperDave passed a little to close by a truck trailer filled with used cars. For some inexplicable reason, the used cars suddenly rolled off the trailer and piled on top of SuperDave in front of a horrified Willow and Tara.

"Tara!" Willow called when she rushed to the pile of cars. "Is he..."

"I don't sense his Death," Tara tried to peer in between the now wrecked cars to see if she could spot SuperDave.

"I'll be with you in minute," sounded the muffled voice of Dave. "I just, um, have to disentangle myself here."

"I think we're on our own," Willow shrugged.

About five seconds later, Willow's eyes grew wide when she locked on to one of the cars in the lot. And, of course, Tara recognized that look: Willow was in love. The red-head rushed to the car in question, which was a red classic Volkswagen Beetle parked at the edge of the lot. Willow let her hand run over the hood for a moment. "God, look at this," she said. "I always wanted a car like this. Blame all those Herbie movies."

Willow opened the door and sat down behind the wheel. Tara had to admit that the car wasn't even remotely expensive and it was in good shape. But she felt Willow shouldn't go for the first car she liked before looking around more. Besides, sitting down next to Willow, she felt the car was a bit cramped.

Willow put her hands on the wheel and jiggled the gearstick for a moment. "Oh, yeah. You are meant for Willow," Willow told the car.

"Are you sure you don't want to look at a few more cars first?" Tara asked. "It can't hurt to look. This beetle is nice, but it doesn't meet all the criteria on your list."

"But..." Willow said as they got out of the beetle. "This car is the same color of my hair. It's a sign, that is."

"Well, how about that car over there?" Tara pointed.

"Uh, that car?" Willow pouted slightly. "That car?"

"Yes, it's perfect," Tara said as they circled the car in question. "Just what we want! Lots of room in the back, it's in good condition, has a good milage, looks stylish and it's cheap."

"Tara," Willow took another look at the car. "It's a hearse."

"Yes, but it's great. Look, it has a cooling unit! That's even better than air conditioning!" Tara raved.

"But... it's a hearse."

"Look at that room in the back," Tara continued. "Perfect for groceries and trips."

"Baby, it's a hearse."

"We could give it another color, if you like," Tara smiled. "Or spray it into many different colors. How about a rainbow car?"

Willow had to admit that car was very roomy in the back... and the seats were soft leather. But still... "Tara," Willow pressed again. "It's a friggin' HEARSE."

"Look how cheap it is," Tara pointed at the price sticker. "From 1200 to 700 to 500 to 200. Even that Beetle over there is more expensive than this classy big car."

"I always wanted to have my own Volkswagen Beetle. Come on, Tara, let's go check it out again," Willow tried.

"But..." Tara frowned. "What's wrong with this car?"

"Let's see... Oh, it only moved frickin' dead people around, otherwise, no biggie, nope," Willow bit her lip.

Tara blinked. "Oh," was her simple, crushed response. "Is that a problem for you?"

"Well, yeah," Willow crossed her arms. "I mean... it carted around dead bodies and everything. The idea of putting my groceries in the back where dead persons were... That just totally freaks me out, okay? "

Tara looked away. "Oh," she whispered.

Willow's eyes grew wide when she realized what exactly she had just said. "T-tara, I didn't mean..."

"I-it's o-o-okay, Willow," Tara turned around. "I-I... c-can't stay... s-see you back at the h-house." That said, she walked away, at a steady pace.

---

"... and then Tara walked away," Willow sniffed when she sat next to Buffy at the Smas. "Tara and I had our first fight... there wasn't any shouting or anything, but... I almost wish there had been. God, you should have seen the hurt in her eyes..."

"I'm sure you'll be okay, Will," Buffy smiled. "You and Tara are so deeply in love. I don't think anything could break you two up."

"I know that, but..." Willow sniffed. "God, what if messed things up, Buffy?"

At that moment, Xander entered the room. "Well, Buff," he said, "I've looked over that back wall, and if we play around with the woodwork we could make your classroom seem a lot bigger, so... hey, crying Willow," Xander noticed, sat down and put an arm around his crying friend. "We don't like crying Willow. We want to see happy Willow. Crying Willow is banned by the FBI. What happened, Will?"

Willow smiled in spite of herself. "Fight with Tara. Well, not really a fight, just... It's so stupid. I was so stupid."

"Tara and Willow wanted to buy a car," Buffy explained. "But they didn't want to buy the same car."

"Ah," Xander nodded. "Classic couple-y bone of contention."

"See, we were at Honest SuperDave," Willow hesitated. Xander was out of the loop and didn't know about Tara's real profession, so both she and Buffy had to be on their toes. "I wanted to buy a beetle. And Tara wanted to go for a hearse."

"A hearse?!" Xander blinked. "SuperDave has a hearse for sale?"

"Yeah," Willow said meekly. "I mean, it's so silly. I said exactly the wrong words. God, poor Tara..."

"Xander," Buffy suggested. "Isn't there a thing you were, um, supposed to..."

"Ah, the famous 'thing'," Xander smiled. "Equally famous euphemism for 'we wanna have some girl-talk here'. No problem," Xander squeezed Willow's shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile before leaving.

Willow and Buffy sat in silence for a moment. "I said it was freaky," Willow pouted. "I might as well have told her I think she is freaky. God, how dumb am I?"

"Well," Buffy started. "Faith and Tara... Death is part of them, you know? They're just not as bothered by it as much as we are. They know what happens to us after we die. Heck, they make sure we actually get to where we supposed to be. You know how scared of death I used to be, but since I've met Faith, that's all gone."

"I know that," Willow pouted. "But I indirectly called Tara a freak. I mean, how could I do something like that? I love her so much."

"I don't think Tara's angry," Buffy replied. "Just a little upset. Trust me, you can work things out."

---

Okay, Will, you can do this, Willow took a deep breath when she saw Tara sitting crosslegged on her favorite bench in the park, feeding the ducks in the pond with old bread. In her mind, Willow had already exactly planned out almost every single contingency in the upcoming conversation with Tara. She was determined to save her relationship by any means possible. Willow inched towards the bench and sat down next to Tara.

"Hey," Tara greeted meekly.

"Hey," Willow returned.

"I'm sorry," Tara said, making all of Willow's carefully planned apology-strategies useless. She just hadn't considered Tara would apologize first.

"No, I'm sorry," Willow pouted. It was the only thing she could say.

"I was thinking about what happened today and... I was pushy," Tara said. "I'm sorry. You're going be the one driving the car, so it should be your choice. It should be a car you're comfortable in."

"I never said you were freaky, it's just that..."

"To me a dead body is just a shell," Tara broke in. "Everything that made a person what she is moves on to the afterlife, so I don't feel anything bad around them. But... dead bodies scare mortals. Sometimes I forget that."

"I never wanted to hurt you, Tara," Willow laid her head on Tara's shoulder. "Are we okay?"

"We never stopped being okay," Tara replied while the ducks quacked in protest now that the stream of bread had stopped raining down on them. Willow took the opportunity to show her love for Tara by softly brushing her lips against her girlfriend's. The kiss deepened, turning into a tight embrace.

When Tara finally broke the kiss, a flushed Willow looked her deeply into the eye. "You know," she grinned. "If you keep this up, Tara, I'm going to have to get you alone to myself pretty darn soon."

Tara's response was to kiss Willow again, with all the passion she could muster. Until the girls were disturbed by the honk of a car horn. Looking up, they saw the very hearse they had seen in SuperDave's lot this day.

"Hey, guys!" Xander waved from the hearse. "Check out the new Xander-mobile!"

Willow and Tara burst into laughter for a moment, and promptly decided to buy the beetle that Willow had wanted so muchly.

And for Willow, today was a day of many firsts. Her first day of having a driver's license, her first day of owning a car, her first fight and her first (and second... and third...) steamy make-up sex after they had gotten home, just so the girls could prove to each other just how sorry they were.

In fact, Willow had been in such a hurry to get home after buying the car, that she had also gotten her first speeding ticket.
[hr]

Don't know who super Dave is? : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Dave_Osborne

Oh, and check out this cool rendition of Willow's drivers license which Chris made : http://www.uberwillowtara.com/reaper23dl.jpg

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Last edited by Useful_Oxymoron on Wed Jul 19, 2006 11:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:59 pm 
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Lol... Tara wanted to buy the hearse! :rofl
I could just picture Faith as a receptionist, a look of utter boredom on her face and chewing gum.
Cute update!

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 6:02 pm 
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Love it! want more!

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:07 pm 
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OH Lord!

SuperDave is the awesomest. Thank you for writing him into a story. I'm not a SuperDave fan per se, but I find the concept funny, and especially so when weaved skillfully into a skillfully woven story. Skillfully, yes.

Character and continuity are both strong in this story, and I'm grateful for those facts. I also like the way you interspresed dialogue and action for the fight scene, its a technique that I'm trying to learn as well.


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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 5:50 am 
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G'day, UO. :wave

First off, before I forget, have a nice vacation. Mmm, vacation. I vaguely remember what they were like. :p

Faith, employed in the field of customer service? Well, I think I see a little flaw in that plan. As does that potential customer Faith brushed. :grin Faith doesn't seem like a natural at that job, does she? Even if she is easily pleased.

Anya's business idea ... :lmao Yes, what goes together better than sushi and martial arts? :grin

The little annecdote about Willow's adventures in obtaining her license were fun. Though, if she tends to do that overthinking thing all the time, will she ever move? :p

Can't say I've ever heard of Super Dave, but he sounds like fun. And personally, I'm with Tara (and later on, Xander). A hearse sounds cool! But then again, I'm weird. :p

As fights go, that was pretty lightweight. But it was amusing how much Willow took it to heart. Even more amusing was her strategy for making it up to Tara, and how easily said plan was utterly derailed.

Great update, UO!

Cheers,
Paul.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 6:11 am 
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Hmm, I think I'd have to side with Willow on that one - respect for souls is one thing, but driving around in a hearse would be kind of creepy (just like a Reaper wouldn't want to drive around in a zombiemobile... though that'd probably be creepy for anyone else, too). Hearses are good for their appointed duties. And being redecorated as Ecto One, the ghostbuster-mobile, of course. I trust that's what Xander has in mind :D Plus, a little red bug is very cute.

The resolution to the first fight was sweet, though - I like that of all the ways Willow had planned it to go (I do that too), she'd still concentrated entirely on her apologising, making Tara feel better, not really worrying about how Tara would feel the same about her.

Faith as a receptionist was just... surreal. I like it. Well-meaning as she is, as much as she wants to help out Buffy, she's just incompatible with the role, possibly on a genetic level. It's cute. And 'talk to the dog' is a great comeback. Though for the sake of Buffy's business, I hope she gets Faith off the front desk soon.

Good explanation about teleporting - it's not important, I'm just slightly obsessive-compulsive about minor technical details (mild Asperger's syndrome), but you've got all the bases covered there. Neat, thanks for answering that.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 6:18 am 
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Brillant! I can't decide which is funnier, Tara wanting to buy a hearse, Xander actually buying a hearse, or Buffy and the gang playing D&D. Oh, I love it.


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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 4:13 pm 
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ahhh haha that was a pretty funny update made me chuckle a bit so im looking for an update please continue!
Erin

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 6:09 pm 
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LOVE the driver's license. lmao. wouldn't think will would do that, being all prim and proper. hah.

lol@75 dollars lotsa $ now.

and others. i'll be wasting space if i keep quoting what's funny. ;P

nitpicking:

"He waved back and, after a moment, briefly ogled two of the girl students who were down on the mats struggling to get each other into disabling grip. Tara didn't blame her as she watched the two girls struggle,"

i assume "didn't blame him"?

color of my hair, color of my hair, a sign, snickers.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 6:53 pm 
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UO, Hope you have as good a vacation as I did this year but then again, I got to meet Amber Benson again and had lots of Ambery goodness moments throughout the weekend of MR2006.
But I digress...
Another heady update full of good times from all four of our gals.
Faith as a receptionist?-Maybe in the freakin' Bizarro world but here on our Earth, her reaction to the irate cvustomer is exactly as I would have imagined, what with Faith having serious impulse control issues.
Tara following suit with Xander and ogling the two hot sweaty women trying to get the upper hand and straddle each other.
Give those two a round of applause.
Super Dave Osbourne-now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time, a loooong time.
Too freakin' funny that Tara has all of these practical reasons for buying the hearse and Willow wants the Beetle.
Quote:
To me a dead body is just a shell," Tara broke in. "Everything that made a person what she is moves on to the afterlife, so I don't feel anything bad around them. But... dead bodies scare mortals. Sometimes I forget that."


Kudos, and other name brand granola bars, to Tara for her insightful and philosophical approach to the metaphysical concepts of life, death, and the ramifications of what's left after we've turned in our dinner pails.
That's the way I looked upon my grandmother after she died two years ago.
As I looked at her in the casket, it didn't seem like her; that was just a vessel. Her essence had gone on to wherever the energy goes.
It was shades of the misunderstanding from "Tough Love" except that this time it ended better and Willow and Tara got to have make-up sex like it was goin' out of style.
I am glad that Willow got her license so they don't need to recklessly endanger themselves by Buffy's kamikaze chauffeur impression any longer.
The next time Willow and Tara are in the Beetle, Tara needs to be on police watch so Willow doesn't get another speeding ticket except that I'll bet you have to put the seat all the way back.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:05 pm 
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Willowrulez - Heheh, well a hearse is slightly fitting considering her profession. Besides, it's an unusual and practical car. Faith as the receptionist : add tendency for violence to that list and you've got Faith as a receptionist. :)

Thianne - More is on the way!

notl33t - I love superdave! But then, I love all forms of Slapstick. :) I'm glad you like the characterisation. I'm also really trying to keep an eye on continuity, but I'm not sure if I always succeed. Thanks for your compliments, though. I appreciate it.

Paul - It was a wonderful time up north in Finland. Best time all year. Oh, well, time to get back to work, I guess. :happy

I think Faith's just as likely to slice and dice said customer as she is to help him. Lovely, no?

What goes together better than martial arts and sushi? Well, it goes together better than menthos and diet coke, I suppose. ;)

Will Willow ever move the car? Hmm, good point. I see her potentially taking a lot of time at a busy intersection, though. :blush

Tara has a nice way of being somewhat unpredictable for Willow. In fact, that might be a contributing factor as to why she's so attracted to her. :)

chris - I'd go for the bug too, if I had a driver's license and if I were ever interested in obtaining a driver's license and actually hitting the road, I suppose.

Willow was pretty selfless in her ways of apologizing. Still, I suppose overplanning is not always a good thing. The curse and blessing of a ordered mind, I suppose.

Buffy has already found a replacement, but she's yet to turn up in the story. If she's better than Faith, is yet to be determined. :)

It was my pleasure to answer your question. I have all these things figured out, but never have any way to put them in the story... so, your questions give me the chance ot make these sort of things public. So by all means, ask your questions!

highlandlass25 - Well, if you ask the author, I'd say the D&D scene was the most fun to write. I'm happy you liked the story.

Erin - Thank you! Update in a few seconds!

Inlerf - Chris did a wonderful job on that driver's license! Willow has her moments, I think. A sense of sticking it to the man for finally getting her driver's license.

Quote:
assume "didn't blame him"?


Crap, sorry about that. I tend to do that more often. :(

Taralicious - Well, I didn't have the pleasure of meeting Amber (color me jealous), but I did have a wonderful time in peaceful and scenic Finland.

Never give receptionist Faith a shotgun... that's all I can say on that. ;-) Can you blame Tara and Xander for looking? ;-) I think the bug's a better car for Willow than a hearse, I suppose. Much like Willow herself, the bug has a certain cuteness factor that's hard to ignore.

There is actually a candybar called Kudos? I've heard that there's a bar called Kismet, but Kudos is new to me. I also like the fact that this fight ended slightly different and without Tara getting her brains sucked out, which is always a good thing.

No longer reliant on Buffy's driving, that's a good thing indeed. Of course, speeding ticket... not so good. ;-)

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:07 pm 
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Well, I'm back from holidays. Well, actually, I got back this weekend and have been working on this story for a bit. It's a two-parter, complete with cliffhanger and all. :) Hope you like it.

Title - Don't fear the Reaper.

Chapter 24 : Replacements

Author name - Useful_Oxymoron

Email Address - Viernadevir@hotmail.com

Rating - PG-13. humor about death isn't everybody's cup of tea.

Disclaimer - Well, I don't own Willow or Tara. And if I did, I'd set them free.

Feedback- Is cool. It's always nice to know somebody liked the crap I write.

Summary- The secret is out and Willow and Tara are still together. How will their life together develop from this point?

Notes- Influences for this story: The wonderful film The Frighteners (which everybody should see), lightly Dead Like Me, Terry Pratchett and the Blue Oyster Cult.

The Columbo segment is lifted from "Columbo : Double Exposure" from 1973.

Italics are thoughts and in this case, story segments.

[hr]
Tara sighed somewhat sadly when she was stirring the freshly broken eggs in the pan with a wooden spatula.

For Tara, there was nothing more magical than waking up in Willow's arms in the morning, to find the sleeping girl pressed against her with that peaceful expression on her beautiful face. Every morning, Tara ached for having to tear herself away from her moment of bliss to fix breakfast.

Then again, watching Willow's eyes light up when Tara'd present her with one of her patented vegetable filled omelets was a heartwarming moment as well, so things tended to even out somewhat.

Tara checked the clock and saw that it was almost 9.30. Of course, on mondays, a simple rule applied: No Morning Classes + Mondays = Lazy Willow. Tara smiled to herself as she thought of how Willow always stuffed her head underneath her pillow to keep the sun coming in through the skylight out of her eyes.

Tara put the cut vegetables into the pre-omelet and stirred her culinary creation slightly. Only a few more seconds and she'd be done. Thankfully, after this hectic weekend, she'd get some time to spend with Willow, even if it was just a couple of hours before she'd go to class. Tara looked over at her desk and smiled to herself: it had taken her two evenings, but all her paperwork was done. All the forms were filled out, all the souls were properly labeled and catalogued and all the Harvesting files were ready to be returned to the Head Office.

The only thing left was the BlackBorder that had been delivered by special courier last Friday. And it was still on her desk, a sealed file stamped with the words 'Harvester Eyes Only' and a date and time, two days from now, at 15.34.

A BlackBorder was a high-profile and highly important Harvesting. Sometimes, the Powers-That-Be wanted to have a person Harvested at a specific date and time, to further their plans for humanity. These cases were always handled with the greatest of secrecy. Not even Tara, the local Collector Senior, was allowed to open the file and take a peek. In fact, she wasn't even supposed to know anything about the BlackBorder after the soul had been Harvested.

But, as any Collector had learned : If you want to know who the BlackBorder is, just look in the papers. This wednesday, a well known real-estate mogul by the name of Jefferson B. Warbucks would be inspecting the new office block that was under construction in Sunnydale's Central Business District. Well, actually, Tara thought. That one building will be Sunnydale's Central Business District when it's finished.

Moreso, Tara took solace in the fact that Faith wouldn't be able to weasel out of having to do her own paperwork for this case. Tara was barely even allowed to touch the BlackBorder, let alone write up the report about it.

Seeing her omelet was finished, Tara left the BlackBorder for what it was and brought the spoils of her labors up the stairs to the loft. And sure enough, there Willow lay on the bed, her head stuffed underneath her pillow.

"Wanna sleep," Willow moaned. "Away, accursed sun! Away!"

Tara looked through the skylight and back at Willow. "I don't think the sun is impressed, sweetie."

"One day," Willow replied, "I am going to find a way to destroy the sun. That'll teach him. Yeah, the sun is definitely a 'him'. Only men can be this annoying."

"Or," Tara smiled. "We could buy some curtains... when we actually have the money to pay for some nice ones, that is. Plus, it'd keep all the people on the planet from dying of frostbite, which is a nice perk."

"Hmmmm," Willow was suddenly wide awake when the smell of the omelet hit her nostrils. A few moments later, Willow was lying on her side, snacking from the omelet while Tara lay besides her, holding her tightly and often kissing Willow's neck.

Life was great.

---

"Come on, Faith," Buffy grinned while she hit the ice and took a few practise loops. In Buffy's ongoing project to introduce Faith to the many aspects of her life, she had taken off from work at the school after lunch to take Faith to the skating rink. Iceskating was one of Buffy's childhood hobbies and even though she only hit the ice once every few months or so, it was something she tremendously enjoyed and wanted to share with the person she loved.

Faith carefully entered the rink, looking a whole lot more wobbly on her feet than Buffy was. "Uh, hold on. Hold on... WHOA!" Faith said while she almost fell on her butt. Feeling her feet being pulled right from under her by slipping on the ice underneath her skates, she grabbed hold off the railing quickly and held on for dear life.

Buffy expertly skated to the side of her girlfriend. "You okay, Faith?"

"Sure, B," Faith grunted while she desperately tried to maintain her footing, but only ended up hanging on to the railing while her feet flailed along the ice, futily trying to get her skates to grip into the ice.

"Calm down, Faith, breathe. Breathe..."

"I AM breathing, B!" Faith replied sharply. "It's not doing me much good, though."

Buffy gently took her girlfriend by the arm and hoisted her up slightly, helping her to maintain balance. Faith perked up slightly, as Buffy slowly guided her along the ice, though Faith never strayed far from the railing.

"See?" Buffy smiled. "You're doing fine."

"Just so you know," Faith replied. "We'll be going to the Monster Truck Rally next sunday. And we'll eat lots of fries and drink lots of cola!"

"Deal," Buffy said.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this," Faith said when she was standing somewhat more stably on the ice.

"Okay, on the count of three, I'll be letting you go," Buffy replied. "One... Two... Three..."

True to her word, Buffy let go of Faith, who continued on in a straight line across the ice.

"Hey, cool," Faith smiled while she continued moving across the ice. "Uh, B? How do I steer? Uh, how do I brake? Uh, Buffy?! Oh, SHIIIIITTT!"

Then, poor Faith lost her balance... and Buffy looked on in horror as her girlfriend let out an agonized shriek.

"Faith!" Buffy shouted. "Faith, speak to me!"

---


"No, I don't know Tanya Baker," Dr. Bart Keppel replied while he strolled along the courtyard while the shaggily dressed lieutenant Columbo followed him around.

"Oh?" Columbo scratched his head. "Gee, that's funny."

"Why is it funny?"

"Well, you see, we've got a lead on this miss Baker. Apparently she left town the day of the murder and an airplanes check with the airlines turned her up in Lisbon. She checked into a hotel there."

Dr. Keppel scoffed in an annoyed fashion. "Well, your problem there is simple to solve, lieutenant. All you need to do is make an overseas telephone call."

"I did, sir," Columbo explained.

"And did you reach miss Baker?" Dr. Keppel said as he prepared to make his swing.

"Yes sir, I did," Columbo replied.

"But you weren't able to find out anything?" Keppel said.

"No, sir, not too much," Columbo said while Keppel too his swing. "Except that you do know her. Oh, that's not bad, doc," Columbo remarked on the swing. "I mean, it's not far, but it's straight."

"Lieutenant," Dr. Keppel grinned. "You are bluffing. Miss Baker never said we knew each other."

"No, sir, not directly, you're right about that," Columbo replied calmly, his still smoking cigar in his hand. "But, you see, I made the telephone-call collect. From a Dr. Bart Keppel to miss Tanya Baker," he continued.

Dr. Keppel stared at him uneasily, and then quickly looked away from the kindly lieutenant.

"Would you like me to take you to your ball?" Columbo asked.


"That was excellent," Faith spoke to the small portal DVD-player parked on her belly. She clicked the movie on pause when she saw Tara enter her room. Buffy the Mastiff looked up from her basket in front of Faith's bed, but when she saw good folk had entered the room, she relaxed and returned to her snoozing.

"Faith," Tara said while she sat down on the chair next to Faith's bed and patted her friend's shoulder. "One day you have to tell me how you managed to sprain both your ankles and a wrist at the same time."

"It's a talent," Faith grinned. "Two skates wanting to go in a different direction while you're trying to grab hold of the railing and all that. Hell on the joints, though."

Faith was under the care of the Summers family and lay resting in their downstairs guestroom. Both of Faith's ankles, as well as her right wrist, were taped up in the emergency room before Joyce had brought her back to Casa de Summers. According to the doctor, she wouldn't be able to walk for at least three more days and was instructed to keep off her feet as much as possible for another two weeks. To Tara, Faith seemed remarkably content with that, though.

Faith was awkwardly fiddling with the volume settings of her portable DVD-player for a moment with her untaped left hand. On the tiny screen, Columbo was frozen in time, yet ready to start solving a murder in his own typical way for the enjoyment of Faith, who was leaning her head against the pillow.

"It's not so bad, T," Faith shrugged. "I have a nice family to exploit for the next two weeks. Joyce said she's even getting me a little bell for when I need something. Neat, huh?"

At that moment, Buffy came in with a steaming cup of chicken soup. Faith put the DVD-player on the side of the bed and let Buffy put down the tray.

"Thanks," Faith smiled.

"Faith, I'm so sorry," Buffy replied mournfully.

"You said that forty times already, B," Faith replied softly. "It's okay, sugar-lips."

"Well, I'm sorry again," Tara heard Buffy say, and remarkably, the petite blonde seemed to be even poutier than Willow could be after her computer had crashed. This was a 'dog-wanting-to-be-fed'-level of pouting. Heavy-duty stuff.

"B," Faith took Buffy's hand and squeezed slightly while Buffy looked as if she was about to break out in tears. "It's alright. I'm the one that fall. It's not as if you pushed me or anything."

"Yeah, b-b-but," Buffy sniffed. "If I hadn't twisted your arm about going to the skating rink, you'd be all walk-y today and we'd be having a picnic in the park now. I'm sorry Faith, I'm sorry Tara."

"Why are you apologizing to me?" Tara asked gently.

"Because I hurt your friend," Buffy's tear-ducts looked as if they we about to explode.

"It's okay, Buffy," Tara smiled. "It's only Faith."

"Hey!" Faith mock-glowered at Tara for a moment. "I resemble that remark."

Buffy looked even more guilty. "Anya called. There's a crisis at the school that she wants me to look into, but... I can't leave you now."

"Look, it's okay," Faith smiled and took Buffy's hand. "I'll be fine, you take care of your school. I'll be here when I get back, B. I'm not going anywhere."

Faith realized her faux-pas when a choked sob escaped from Buffy's throat. With her free hand, Faith pulled Buffy's head towards her and kissed the top of her head.

Reluctantly, Buffy left the room, looking back at Faith for one last time before closing the door.

"God, I love that girl," Faith sighed.

The door opened again and Buffy's head popped into the room. "Uhm, if you need me, I'll still be in the house for the next couple of minutes, so..." Buffy still looked very guilty when she slowly closed the door. "Love you, Faith."

After making sure Buffy wouldn't enter anymore, Tara got straight to business. "I guess I'll have to present that BlackBorder to another Harvester," Tara said.

"What?!" Faith sat up straight, grimacing in pain when she put too much pressure on her wrist. "Just put me in a wheelchair and roll me to the victim! Come on, I'm still good ole Faithy. Just point me in the right direction."

"I'm not supposed to know who the BlackBorder case is until after the deed, remember?" Tara half-smiled.

"Oh, details, details," Faith shrugged. "I suppose I won't be harvesting for a while, though, then. Crap."

At that moment, Joyce entered the room. "Okay, Faith, you need your rest now," she said while taking away the empty bowl and grabbing hold of the DVD-player. "I'm sorry, Tara, but I think it's time to leave Faith to sleep now. Besides, Dawn wants to show you her latest story over some milk and cookies."

"Hey!" Faith protested. "That's Columbo!"

"You need your rest, little miss," Joyce stressed. "So go to sleep and heal your body so my daughter doesn't have to feel so guilty anymore. Peter Falk will be around when you wake up."

"Aww," Faith pouted as if she were a toddler being put to bed against her wishes, but finally agreed to submit, leaving Tara to the task of finding another Harvester to take care of the BlackBorder. After the milk, cookies and stories, of course.

---

The next day, Tara was sitting shotgun in Willow's red volkswagen beetle, looking out the window.

"Xander is so excited about that Warbucks visit," Willow said. "There's going to be journalists and TV-crews. He's going to try to creep up front to the camera's to wave at us. And, of course, Anya practically worships this Warbucks guy."

"Hm," Tara replied, not quite wanting to say she suspected Warbucks wouldn't leave the construction-site alive.

"How are you gonna get past the whole Faith being out on the count thingy, baby?" Willow asked. "I suppose somebody has to take over while she's down and out. People just can't stop dying cause the Reaper's on extended leave. Uh, they can't can they? Imagine being there lying on your deathbed and waiting for Death but she never comes. So, you get up and try to pick up your life again, go to the park, play with your grandkids and right out of the blue... BAM, Death comes back from his or her leave and you drop down dead like a fly which has crashed into a glass sheet."

"That's why we have replacements, sweetie," Tara smiled. "I called Dar yesterday and she'll send along a temp to replace Faith and a more experienced Harvester to take care of the BlackBorder."

Willow turned around the corner and slowly drove onto the mainstreet. "So why do you always have to use pen and paper?"

"What do you mean?" Tara asked.

"I mean, why hasn't the Head Office given you a sexy black laptop? It'd be much more efficient. You'd be able to fill out the forms on your computer and just mail them to the Head Office," Willow replied.

"I wouldn't know what to do with a computer," Tara smiled softly, knowing full well how dear to Willow's heart computers were. "Not many Reapers are technically inclined. Certainly not the administrative staff. Reapers never really go with the new thing, you see? In fact, our records were still being inscribed on parchment until the 1880's. Besides, you can't e-mail a soul. You have to bring that in anyway, so you might as well bring in the paperwork as well."

"I suppose," Willow pouted slightly. She pulled up in front of their apartment, but before she could steer her bug into the parking space, another car pulled up from behind and parked in the spot before she could react. "Oh, cat-poopy," Willow cursed and glowered at the ninety year old lady that stepped out of the SUV that was now parked in Willow's favorite parking spot. "And, of course, the entire street is filled with cars. Tara, will you take in the groceries? I'll go look for another spot."

Tara kissed her girlfriend on the cheek, and started to unload the groceries from the trunk. While Willow drove off to look for another parking space, Tara took the groceries inside. After walking up the stairs and fiddling with her keys, Tara walked inside and headed straight to the kitchen block to put down the bags.

She was startled to hear someone scraping his throat behind her. Turning around, Tara noticed a platinum blonde man in a black coat leaning back on the couch while puffing away on a cigarette. Next to him sat a deranged looking brunette in a pretty dress intently watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

"Spike," Tara sighed. "Drusilla..."

"Hello, ducks," Spike waved to her. "I'm here to take care of your little BlackBorder problem." Immediately, Tara felt dread form in the pit of her stomach.

"Dru?" Tara asked. Drusilla, too intent on watching Elmer Fudd and his 'wabbit season', did not reply.

"I brought her along," Spike shrugged. "You know her and her abandonment issues."

"I like the Bunny," Dru raved all of a sudden before turning all her attention back to the TV.

Tara coughed slightly. "Uh, c-could you p-please put out your c-cigarette?"

Spike snorted and blow a load of smoke right into Tara's face, causing her to cough more intensely.

"So, this is your apartment, then?" Spike shrugged. "Bit of a dump, but it'll do. Dru and I sleep on that loft, right?"

"Excuse me?" Tara crossed her arms. "You're not s-s-staying here."

"Now," Spike replied. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a rule that the local Collector Senior makes sure that a visiting Harvester is 'clothed, fed and lodged', as they say?"

Tara sighed heavily. "You're not w-wrong."

"Hey, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault you aren't running with the big boys anymore. If you'd remained a Harvester, you could have been taking advantage of Collectors like we are doing right now," Spike replied. "How about you bring us a couple of drink, luv?"

"Tara!" sounded Willow's voice from the stairs, beyond the still open front-door. "I almost had to fight a trucker for it, but I found a parking spot and..."

Willow entered the house and threw her hat onto the coatrack, before noticing Spike on the couch. "Tara?"

"Harvesters," Spike broke in. "Official business. So, you're the mortal that Tara's been seeing? You's got good taste, ducks," Spike told Tara.

Tara blushed slightly. "Uh, W-willow? This is S-spike and that is D-Drusilla. I, uhm, t-told you about t-them."

"I remember," Willow glowered at Spike. "Are you smoking in my house?! God, he's smoking in my house, Tara! I can't believe it! Smoking! In my house! Put out that stinky tobacco, mister Lung-Cancer-Waiting-To-Happen-At-Age-35!"

"No bloody way," Spike crossed his arms. "Tara's supposed to make us comfortable and give us a place to stay. And we like it here. And I like to smoke here."

"A place to stay? Not here you don't, fellah!" Willow's resolve face came out of retirement. "You're stinking up our home and you're upsetting Tara."

"It's a rule," Tara sighed. "I can't s-send them away."

"Well, I'm not a Reaper," Willow turned to Spike. "I own half the house, and I say you've got to leave. OUT!" Willow pointed at the door.

Spike sighed. "Alright, alright. Come along, Dru," he said, pulling the catatonic Dru away from the television. "Cor, what a spitfire you are. A girlfriend with backbone is exactly what Miss Congeniality here needs, pet," Spike said while passing the fuming Willow. "Oh, hey, you wouldn't be able to spare us a few bob for a hotel, would you?"

"OUT!" Willow shouted again.

When Spike and Dru were gone, Willow closed the door and hugged Tara. Tara herself relaxed in Willow's arms. Though she had known Spike and Dru through Faith for a long time now, Spike always succeeded in making Tara incredibly nervous.

"You okay, baby?" Willow asked. "Man, what a jerk. He's even worse than the sun."

"I'm alright," Tara replied. "Goddess, you're right, he really stank up the place."

"I'm going to open a couple of windows," Willow said.

So now Tara was faced with at least two days of worrying what kind of damage Spike and Dru would to Sunnydale and their inhabitants. Dammit, Tara thought grimly. This is all Buffy's fault!.

And Tara immediately felt guilty for thinking that.

---

The next day, Tara found herself standing in the lobby of the hotel where Spike and Drusilla were staying. Apparently, the two had spare no expenses and had booked an expensive room in the Sunnydale Hilton, expenses paid by the Head Office. Tara huffed slightly when she was waiting for the elevator. It's a good thing the Head Office is obscenely rich, otherwise the Harvesters would have bankrupted us by now, Tara thought.

But as soon as Tara stepped into the elevator, indignation made way for dread. Tara and Spike had known each other through Faith, but Tara had always been more than a little intimidated by him. And Dru, well, she was deranged... and since there was nothing quite as dangerous as a deranged Reaper, it made Tara wonder why she was allowed to operate in the field, where a Collector with the same kind of mental problems was usually given a job far away from the field. It was simply another sign of the double standards being used by the Head Office.

The front office had already informed Spike that she was coming up, so she was not surprised to find him waiting there for her outside the room.

"Spike?" Tara asked when she found him blocking the door.

"Uh, leave Dru alone for a bit, ducks," Spike shrugged. "Dru couldn't abide the flowers, so she attacked them... and the furniture... and the windows... Hell, even the sodding minibar."

"Have you studied the BlackBorder?" Tara asked.

"Oh, you'll get your paperwork, ducks. Unlike Faith, I do those sort of things," Spike shrugged.

"It's n-not that," Tara looked away and took a moment to catch her breath. "I-I... You have a reputation for c-collateral damage and..."

"Oh, don't worry, ducks," Spike grinned. "We'll figure out something spectacular."

"N-no!" Tara protested. "J-just do your job with as little collateral damage as possible."

"Now," Spike crossed his arms. "You came all this way just to tell me this, while you know I'm not going to listen to you anyway. I'm here to do a job, pet. The Powers want to give that guy a Death worth remembering, and I'm just the one who provides. So don't complain to me when you get squeamish. With an attitude like that, it's no wonder you washed out of Harvester apprenticeship program. No offence, pet."

Tara was about to retort when her pager beeped buzzed loudly from her pocket.

"Shouldn't you get that," Spike shrugged. "We'll talk later," he opened the door, immediately dodging a flying lamp.

Tara shook her head and hurried along to the elevator. Her cloak and scythe were at home, after all. In the elevator, Tara fished her cellphone out of her pocket and dialed.

Xand-man to Enterprise. Talk to me, Captain, sounded Xander on the other end of the line.

"Xander? Hi, it's Tara."

Hey, Tara. So, why aren't you in front of the TV? You're gonna miss me waving to you guys in front of the camera. At least one of the Harris family will be turning up on CNN without being a surrounded by FBI agents, Xander laughed.

"Xander," Tara sighed. How to tell him this?. "Xander, listen to me. Don't get near Warbucks. Tell Anya to stay away too. Please, Xander. I... I had this feeling. Take a day off or something."

Are you sure it's not the spaghetti you ate yesterday? Xander replied. You know what kind of damage Willow's meatballs can do to a person. Willow's the best friend I've ever had, but she's a lousy chef.

"Xander... Please," Tara whispered in desperation.

Alright. If you say so, Tara, he replied. But next time a TV crew comes to town, I'll be making my television debut for sure! It's how Bruce Campbell got started, you know?

"Thanks, Xander," Tara replied, hearing from the tone of Xander's voice that he believed her. "Just... be careful, okay?"

---

Tara had been sitting at an elderly woman's deathbed for a while, but found herself unable to concentrate on her task. Thankfully, the woman's passing was peaceful, and she was surrounded by friends and family, meaning that Tara had only to take care of the basics. If fact, Tara was so lost in thoughts she suddenly found herself in an empty room with the soul already hovering over the body. Slightly embarrassed, Tara gently placed the soul into the container.

Suddenly, a loud bang sounded in the distance, while the ground shook slightly.

At first, Tara thought it was another one of Sunnydale's frequent minor earthquakes, but considered it was too short for that. To her, it seemed more like a massive explosion. Tara hurried to the window, and found her fears confirmed: a huge plume of black arid smoke came from the construction site in the distance, and she could just see tongues of flame from the site reaching over the rooftops.

She checked her watch... '15.34'

As attuned to Death as she was, Tara could sense the passing of almost two dozen people from the direction of the construction site, mixed with an overwhelming sense of fear and pain. She felt sick to her stomach for a moment, but forced herself to ignore those feelings. In the distance, the first sirens screamed through the streets, while her pager started to beep vigorously. It had apparently taken the Head Office a few moments to catch on.

She slid through the wall, glided down to the street and ran into an empty alley. She removed her hood and called Willow on her cellphone.

"Sweetie," she called, hearing Willow tremble on the other side of the line. "M-meet me at the c-c-construction site. Something t-terrible just happened."
[hr]

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:27 pm 
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I hope Xander listened to Tara...
Buffy and Faith iceskating cracked me up. Oh, and do you know what cola means in Spanish :p? God, my teacher said that every freakin' day in class.
Willow is too cute with her computer obsession. She'd probably invent a way to email souls too. Also the bit about the sun was insanely sweet.
Quote:
It's a good thing the Head Office is obscenely rich, otherwise the Harvesters would have bankrupted us by now, Tara thought.

Hm... did Tara forget that she made them pay too? :x

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:21 pm 
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UO,
Waking up in bed with a freshly prepared Tara omelet sounds like a day this side of heaven.
Especially if Tara were to feed me the omelet and imbue it with her own special sauce.
A lack of balance and coordination upon the ice is the only thing that Faith and I have in common as after a couple of bone-jarring encounters with the ice, I said "no more" and the park bench became my friend as I waited for my sister and friends to finish.
Very calculating and shrewd are the Powers That Be for sytematically weeding out certain chess pieces which could have bearing on how the POB want the game to play out.
Hopefully for Xander he heeded the advice or else things could get messy.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 1:49 am 
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Another great chapter - I like how the BlackBorder plotline started with a mention and slowly built into the main focus. And the chapter was really satisfying as a return to Reaper-activities, after a bit of a break recently. Tara's anguish over Spike and Dru came across strong - she's so respectful of life (and afterlife), and they're the absolute opposite. No wonder they don't get on, yet Tara's law-abiding at heart, so she can't just turf the Harvesters out on principle. Lucky Willow was around to do it for her :party

Poor Faith - poor Buffy, in fact, she seems to be having a more difficult time of it. She's so anxious about Faith, it's just as well Faith's so smitten with her :blush

(I am kind of wondering though - couldn't Tara have teleported Faith to the job site? I mean, does Reaping actually involve that much physica activity? It seems like all Faith needs is line of sight, and one good arm to wave her scythe.)

But anyway, I'm wondering now whether we're being set up for a surprise - everything seems to point to Tara having correctly guessed the identity of the BlackBorder's target, so I'm naturally suspicious of that. I just hope Xander did as he was told and stayed clear.

(It wasn't Xander, was it? :paranoid )

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 10:44 am 
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Okay first i have to say that i loved that you put the D&D game into your story. I myself play quite often and thought it was cool that not only did you have it in you story but it was actually done properly. Plus the names for willow and tara were good for a few laughs. :-D

Other than that you story is getting more exciting and i cant wait to see if xander is okay.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:05 pm 
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G'day UO.

Sorry I've taken so long to leave feedback, but to be honest, I haven't even been on the board much of late. Still, I'm here now, so on with the feedback!

Having just read Chris' feedback, I'm feeling suspicious of Tara's certainty regarding the identity of the target of the BlackBorder. You aren't trying to lead us up the garden path, are you? :paranoid

Faith's little accident ... well, maybe this is a little bit less than empathic, but that was a hoot to read! How to stop, indeed! :lol

Buffy does indeed seem to have it as bad as Faith does in the warm, smooshy feelings department, given her overreaction in the pampering department.

Spike and Dru though ... unwelcome visitors by any account. And to be honest, I find Spike's casual attitude to collateral damage kind of stupid. I doubt the Powers care how their target dies, they just need them dead. It's Spike's own desire for carnage that guides his excessive tendancies.

But yes, let's hope Xander obeyed orders and steered clear ...

Cheers,
Paul.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:15 pm 
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WillowRulez - Heheh, again it's a personal experience. Though I didn't end up as injured as Faith was, I did almost ended up killing myself on those skates. No, I don't know what cola means in spanish. Could you enlighten me?

Well, I can't have magic in this story, so I might as well focus on Willow's other obsession. Besides, it makes her more geeky and cuter, imho. :kgeek

Quote:
Hm... did Tara forget that she made them pay too?


True, she did make them pay, but only once... but you be sure that Spike and Dru trash expensive hotel-rooms three times a week. :kdevil

Taralicious - I'm not a fan of eggs for breakfast, but I would go for a Tara-omelet. See above for my adventures on the ice. Is it just be or is it easier to get across the ice on just your shoes? The POB are sneaky bastards, as witnessed in the Angel shows. As for Xander, well let's say if Tara asked you to be careful, would you listen? I would. :-)

Chris - Yeah, I've been less focuses on the death-aspect and more on the W-T relationship aspect. But, of course, Reapers are people too, and they have normal home-lives for the most part at least. Willow showed Spike the door... which was oddly satisfying to write, actually. :)

Faith's injury is actually good for both of them. It'll go towards cementing their budding relationship, I would think.

Well, Tara could wheel Faith to the site, but officially, Tara isn't supposed to be invovled. That's usually not a problem, but I've always imagined the scythe as a heavy two-handed 'weapon' (DnD influences here), and Faith wouldn't be able to use its powers effectively with one hand. (nice save, ey? :blush )

Sometimes, suspicions don't prove correct. :-) Don't worry about seeing character death disclaimers.

Willowwatcher - I love DnD. I don;t play as regular these days as I have before, but I still know the basics. I'm sorta force into studying rules and rulebending because one of my friends has a nack for coming up with fun, but munchkinned characters. Glad you liked the silly names.

Glad you like the story! New part is on the way!

Paul - Don't worry about it. I know the feeling. I've been dreadfully busy at work. There's nothing like finding out that your replacement has made a mess of things when you were on holidays. 3 weeks of vacation... 6 weeks of cleaning up at work... ARGH!

Good, Faith's accident was supposed to be funny. Hey, even the best of us take a tumble sometimes. Besides, I think mother-hen-Buffy was fun to write too.

Good eye on Spike's excessive tendancies. The POB don't care how he dies, just that he dies. In case of the Blackborder, a specific time and place was in order, but there's still room to choose one's own method.

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:18 pm 
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We're nearing the end for Reaper. Just a few more parts to the finale. But that's for the future. I hope you enjoy the latest installment.

Title - Don't fear the Reaper.

Chapter 25 : When The Man Comes Around.

Author name - Useful_Oxymoron

Email Address - Viernadevir@hotmail.com

Rating - PG-13. humor about death isn't everybody's cup of tea. There's one dirty word in the mix this part.

Disclaimer - Well, I don't own Willow or Tara. And if I did, I'd set them free.

Feedback- Is cool. It's always nice to know somebody liked the crap I write.

Summary- The secret is out and Willow and Tara are still together. How will their life together develop from this point?

Notes- Influences for this story: The wonderful film The Frighteners (which everybody should see), lightly Dead Like Me, Terry Pratchett and the Blue Oyster Cult.

This part's title is lifted from the famous Johnny Cash song. Don't know why, really, it just felt appropriate. :)

Italics are thoughts and in this case

[hr]
Nothing could have prepared Tara for the sight she saw at the construction site. After running all the way to the site, and rounding about the corner of the highstreet, she was confronted by something close to a warzone.

Firetrucks, ambulances and police were already around, either cordoning off the site from the inevitable onlookers, taking care of the wounded or putting out the fires that were still spread across the construction site. Mayhem and chaos was all around her. The cries of the wounded and the worried families that had gathered around were almost overwhelming. A large crater was at the center of the construction site, and the steel superstructure of the building-to-be was severely damaged, to the point of collapsing. A bulldozer lay on its side, having crushed a foreman's office underneath its weight. One of the large cranes was still on fire.

Tara sensed the pain, the confusion... it crushed upon her mind in waves. To make matters worse, she sensed the pain and confusion of no less than seventeen distressed souls.

"Oy, ducks," Tara heard. She turned around, still feeling numb. She saw Spike and Drusilla, apparently having a good chuckle over their handiwork. Drusilla looked especially pleased with herself, her demented grin the only thing visible from underneath her hood. Spike tossed her a container, which Tara barely managed to catch after coming to her senses somewhat.

"There's your Warbucks," Spike chuckled. "We'll do a write-up a little later. Dru and I are takin' a break from our hard work. Know any good restaurants in this one-horse town?"

Tara moved her mouth, but no words came out.

"Oh, bugger this," Spike shrugged. "There's some dead people out there. Take care of those, will you? There's a good girl..."

"Big metal tank go BOOM!" Drusilla raved, then giggled like a schoolgirl on crack. "Pretty sounds..."

Tara said nothing when Spike and Drusilla passed her and walked away. There were no words for the horror in front of her. Only disbelief and tears. Endless tears.

She almost didn't see Buffy's car pulling up near the place of the disaster, but when Tara noticed a black SUV parked diagonally across three parking spaces, she knew her friends had arrived. Her heart broke when she saw the panic on Willow's beautiful face when she jumped out of the car. Tara shook out of her daze and left for a small alley. Making sure she was out of sight, she put down her scythe and removed her cloak. After stuffing it in her dufflebag, Tara returned to the sight.

A near hysteric Willow was already stopped by the police. Her girlfriend was arguing with the policewoman about wanting to go down into the site to find Xander.

"Willow," Tara called. Willow almost jumped, but relaxed when she eased into her lover's arms. Holding each other tightly, Tara could feel Willow's sobs.

"Sssh, sweetie, sssh," Tara tried to comfort her girlfriend as best she could.

"Oh, god, it was horrible," Willow sniffed. "I was just... watching the Warbucks interview on TV, waiting to see Xander and... then something exploded and this shard of metal just... hit Warbucks and... Oh, god, I'm think I'm gonna be sick... Xander, oh, god, Xander... He has to be okay, he just has to be."

Willow seemed to relax somewhat, but was no less determined to find a way around the police barriers to get down to the site to look for Xander, and probably for Anya too.

The answer came when they saw Buffy waving at them from the distance, frantically beckoning them from beyond the crowd. Tara and Willow didn't waste any time and followed her, and arrived at the ambulance just in time to see the orderlies wheeling Xander into the ambulance on a gurney. Aside from a nasty wound across his forehead, he seemed to be very much alive.

"Xander!" Willow rushed to him and grabbed his hand. "Xander!"

"Hey, Wills," Xander smiled weakly. "Looks like I'm gonna looking for a new job. Ahn... she was with me a moment ago... She's safe... God, you don't think it hurts this much when you see it on TV."

"Baby," Willow turned to Tara. "I, uh, am gonna ride with the ambulance."

"That's okay, sweetie," Tara nodded grimly. "I... have to take care of the dead here."

---

And thus began the waiting game. The hospital was abuzz with doctors and nurses running back and forth. People were sitting in the waiting room, waiting for any sign of their family members, spouses or friends. When Tara was finished soothing and collection the souls of the dead, she joined her friends as quickly as possible. She found Willow, Buffy and Dawn sitting in a corner on the ground and learned Willow and Xander had been separated by the orderlies. Willow'd been waiting here without news for hours.

Tara said nothing after that. She just sat down next to Willow and let her cuddle up against her. And so Tara waited too. There weren't many words spoke, aside from Dawn who often went to get drinks for everyone. Ever so often, Buffy would call Faith, or Dawn would scribble on her notepad. There was nothing much else to do.

And, of course, Xander's parents were nowhere in sight.

Finally, there came some news. But not from a doctor, but rather from Anya, who came from the ward. Though she was relatively unhurt, safe from what looked to be a broken wrist and some small cuts on her arm, she did seem stricken.

"He's okay. I'm okay," was all Anya said. "At least, health-wise Xander's okay."

The friends exchanged looked when they followed Anya, who still seemed rather dazed, to Xander's room in the ward. "It was just a concussion. Just a concussion..."

"Anya," Willow asked when they came to a room and saw Xander laying in bed through the glass windowpane. "Why is there a cop outside Xander's room?"

"That's just it!" Anya replied. "God, it's ridiculous, as if... as if he blew up the damn thing. He wasn't even near it!"

"Anya, calm down," Buffy said, took the other blonde by both arms and held her in place. "Now, tell us what's going on."

Anya burst into tears. "Xander was in charge of the butane depot when the tank blew up," she said. "And that's what exploded... I... I think they're planning to charge Xander with negligent homicide. It's... too early to tell, and they still need to do forensic testing but... they want to make sure Xander doesn't leave town and... Oh, god, this sucks! All I'll have for the next twenty years will be chats through a glass window and some conjugal visits every three months... Oh, god," Anya bit her lip. "I'll, uh, I'll... I need some air..."

While Anya ran off, they shared a look and entered Xander's room. Inside, they found Xander watching an episode of Stargate SG-1, which he turned off when he saw his friends enter.

"I miss Richard Dead Anderson," Xander said while putting the remote on his nightstand. "So, hey, welcome to my temporary home, where the TV is snowy, the food is cardboard, the smell is sterile and where you only gain entry after you've sustained life-threatening injury... or need to have your tonsils removed, whichever comes first."

"Xander," Buffy said as she, Dawn and Willow hugged him at once.

"Whoa, being hugged by three gorgeous women," Xander smirked. "Be still my heart."

"Xander!" Willow admonished. "I'm still large with gayness. This is a completely non-sexual get-well-soon, hug."

"Oh, hey," Xander smiled when he saw Tara and took her hand. "There's the big knowledge woman who saved my life. If you hadn't called me and told me to get my ass out of the line of fire, I'd be walking around without a head too, just like Warbucks."

Willow frowned at Tara for a moment, making her feel uncomfortable. "I, uhm, I just had a h-hunch," Tara almost whispered.

"Yeah?" Xander replied. "Well, I don't know what kind of mystic universal mojo you happened to tune into, but I'm not complaining. Thanks, Tara."

"What's the deal with the Man outside?" Buffy asked.

"Bobby out there? Fellow Stargate fan," Xander shrugged. "Nice guy. We get along fine."

"But, Xander, aren't you afraid?" Dawn replied. "I mean, there's a cop right outside your door!"

Xander seemed thoughtful for a moment. "Scared? I'm terrified. But I have to keep a straight face on for Ahn, Dawn. She's... shook up enough as it is."

Xander and the girls talked for a moment longer, until the nurse came along to kick them out. Tara could never shake the numbness and revulsion she felt. For the first time in her life, she was ashamed to be a Reaper.

---

Buffy put off Tara and Willow in front of their home. It was nighttime now, and Tara had never felt as tired as she had now. She and Willow entered their apartment in silence.

"Sweetie," Tara said while Willow was walking back and forth from the table to the kitchen, bringing the dishes to the sink. "I..."

"Don't," Willow whispered softly. "Just... don't..."

Tara sank on the couch and removed her shoes. She watched Willow for a moment.

"Did you know this was going to happen?" Willow asked softly. "You called Xander to warn him."

"I suspected," Tara kept her eyes downcast, unable to watch her lover in the eyes. "Officially, I'm not supposed to know who the... target was, but I... suspected. Spike is known for his... extremism, but I never in a million years expected this kind of..."

Willow sat down next to Tara, just out of reach. "Baby? Would have stopped him? If you knew, I mean?"

A few tears rolled across Tara's cheeks. "I would have t-tried..."

Willow inched closer to Tara and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry for giving you a cold shoulder. I... It's just been..."

"A rough day, I know," Tara ran a hand through Willow's long silky hair.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Willow replied. "I mean, there must be rules against this sort of thing, aren't there? You can't let him get away with this, baby."

Tara looked at a stack of forms on her desk and nodded grimly. "Yes... Yes, there is something I can do," Tara said.

---

Scant a few days later, Tara found herself sitting in Darla's small office located in the Head Office's main building. If her action had caused a stir, she herself had noticed little about that, but seeing that Darla had summoned her into her office, she figured Darla had been receiving some heat over it.

"So," Darla sighed, producing the offending form. "You filed a Writ of Misconduct against Spike."

Tara nodded. "Yes, I have," she replied calmly.

"Do you realize the full extend of just what you have done?" Darla said, though there was no anger in her voice.

"I... think so," Tara replied.

"No Collector has ever filed a Writ of Misconduct against a Harvester. It's completely unprecedented! You know that harvesters and collectors take care of their own... this... this goes against all tradition," Darla sputtered. "You've created quite a stir. I'm getting all kind of people I never even met before in life barging into my office asking me to order you to withdraw your Writ."

Tara shifted slightly. "Will you do so?"

Darla shook her head. "No," she replied. "I trust your judgment. And your record has been exemplary."

"This is something I must do," Tara said. "Spike went too f-far."

"I've read his report and I tend to agree," Darla sighed. "But... Harvesters are going to balk when they know they can be held accountable for their actions. They require a certain... creative freedom to do their job, and many are worried they'll be curtailed by the Collector Seniors if this Writ goes to tribunal."

Tara looked away slightly. "I... realize that Harvesters need a certain amount of freedom to act, but I also believe that they should limit their 'collateral damage'. I know for a fact that Faith and Mort never Harvested anyone who wasn't on their list. Spike and Dru, well, they don't mind much who's on their list or not. And that has to stop."

"Tara, let me be honest with you," Darla said. "The high-ups are going to do anything in their power to bully you into withdrawing your Writ of Misconduct. They don't want to see this case go before Tribunal. They're going to drag your name through the mud. It doesn't help that you personally know one of the victims, nor that said victim is your girlfriend's best friend. They will cite conflict of interest. And as if that isn't enough, you were once a Harvester-in-training. They could make it seem as if you submitted the Writ out of spite."

Tara nodded grimly. "I know..."

"Tara," Darla sighed heavily. "Spike may be a maverick, but he does get the job done. And the high-ups don't care about his collateral damage. I know it stinks, but... you have to realize that Spike is considered to be more important to the Reapers than you are."

"This is just... something I must do," Tara replied. "Dar, the Harvesters are supposed to listen to us not the other way around. If we let this slip, what'll be next? I know Death is a blessed release, but that doesn't mean we should write off Life without so much as thinking about it."

"Alright," Darla said. "I'm going to make a few phonecalls and disappoint a few people. I suggest you go home and get some rest. Prepare your case well, Tara."

Tara offered Darla a weak smile before she stood up and got ready to leave.

"Tara?" Darla spoke, causing Tara to turn around. "You can't go against the system. It'll chew you up and spit you out. Believe me, I know..."

"I can at least try," Tara replied.

---

Tara found Faith sitting in the backyard of the Summers residence. Though she was still incapacitated, she could walk on crutches for short distances. Although Buffy was constantly nearby to order Faith to sit down in her wheelchair before she would hurt herself. Tara suspected that Faith secretly quite liked being pampered and wheeled around by Buffy, but she would never admit it.

Tara and Faith sat near the garden shed, sharing a lone can of soda. Joyce had put Faith on a beer-free diet for the duration of her stay.

Faith took a sip. "Quite a stir, T. Thresher Magazine called me. Asked me for an interview... looks like they want to know what kind of person you are, T. I told them to go interview their own asses."

"Faith, I... I don't want to harm you or the other Harvesters," Tara replied. "It's just..."

"Spike trained me, you know that," Faith replied. "What do you expect me to say, T? 'Gee, T, how nice that you are requesting my mentor to be stripped of his rank?'."

"Faith, I just need to hear you say that what he did is wrong," Tara replied. "I know Harvesters have a grim duty, but we... Reapers aren't supposed to be gods, Faith. We shouldn't believe we can do anything just because we are the Guardians of Death."

Faith seemed conflicted, torn between her friendship with Tara, and her loyalty for her duty and her mentor. She looked away briefly and seemed to think.

"What Spike did," Faith said softly. "It's not... not... wrong."

"It's not wrong?" Tara seemed stricken.

"Nope," Faith said quickly. "I said that is was not not wrong... I suppose. Spike always told me to be creative and different in my approach, but he also told me not to let it go to my head. Looks like he broke his own cardinal rule."

"Faith?" Tara frowned. "You used the term 'cardinal rule'."

"Yeah," Faith shrugged. "I learned it from Joyce's boyfriend. I think it was used in Silent Hill 3 too."

Tara just shook her head and took her friend in a brief embrace. "Thanks, Faith. I just needed to hear you say that."

"Hey..." Faith said softly and rose from her seat slowly. "Don't let them push you around, T. Don't you dare let them push you around."

"FAITH!" Buffy called over from the kitchen. "Sit down in the chair before you hurt yourself!"

"Argh, yes, MOM!" Faith called back, humor evident in her eyes.

---

Tara shifted uncomfortably. She was sitting opposite to Spike and his legal aide assigned to him. Of course, Tara had been expecting a pre-Tribunal interview, since it was customary. However, Tara had not expected Lindsey MacDonald to be assigned to be Spike's legal aide. She avoided his burning gaze and focused on Spike... at least he was the devil she knew.

"Alright, miss Maclay, let's keep this short," Lindsey started. "What exactly are we doing here. This is a pointless exercise."

"Damn right," Spike added.

"Miss Maclay, in case you haven't noticed, we're Reapers. We deal in death, we collect souls and we cull the mortal herd, so to speak, on the orders of the Powers-that-be. So what are you protesting against, I have to ask?"

"That is n-not to be contested," Tara replied. "I refer to the BlackBorder incident several days ago when Spike did not only Harvested his intended soul, but also caused a lot of... collateral damage, as Reaper terms put it."

"I know why we're here, thank you very much," Lindsey crossed his arms. "What is the problem with that, I wonder? You know better than anyone that the innocent dead go to eternal bliss in Elysium. Yes, the Powers-that-Be wanted Warbucks removed, but the others, well, if they were important enough to continue their lives, the Powers would have let us know in advance... they can see past, present and future, after all. But we've heard nought from them, so as it stands, those fallen souls simply... didn't warrant any special treatment."

"Not important?" Tara asked. "They were important to somebody. Everybody is a son or a daughter to someone else. A spouse or a parent. The dead might receive eternal bliss, but the loved ones left behind suffer needlessly."

"And how is that different from your job, miss Maclay?" Lindsey replied. "When you collect the soul of a dying person, are you not ripping away a loved one? And why do you even consider this a point? This is what Collectors do. What you have been doing for the past 10 years of your life?"

"Collectors gather the souls of those why die of natural causes, or because of human intervention," Tara replied. "What Spike did is different."

"How so, pray tell?" Lindsey smirked.

"There's a difference between dying peacefully and by being ripped away by the actions of an overzealous Harvester! And if you had ever been in the field you would have known that!" Tara spat. "You didn't feel the pain and agony those 17 souls felt because of their violent deaths! You didn't take them to your chest to soothe and calm them enough to be able to find their way to the afterlife. Instead of doing your job, Spike, you left those souls lying about while you went to your hotel-room to do god knows what with Drusilla! And let's not even talk about the wounded."

"All this is still meaningless," Spike replied. "Like Lindsey said, if I did Harvest someone I wasn't supposed to, the Powers would have stopped me the moment I tried it."

"And who are you to decide who lives and who dies?" Tara challenged.

"It's what Harvesters do," Lindsey added. "It's what Reapers do."

"They why is it policy to remove Collectors... AND Harvesters, I might add... from active duty the moment it looks like they're going to snap?" Tara replied. Lindsey fell silent for a moment, and she realized she'd scored a point to which he had no quick rebuttal. "We're not gods. We're not supposed to make that kind of decisions. Granted, the Harvesters act on the orders of the Powers, but the rest... we don't interfere with the free will or the fate of the mortals. That's not out job."

"Well," Lindsey smirked. "Perhaps it should be. Perhaps we should be gods."

Tara's jaw almost hit the floor, and she could see that Spike was frowning slightly. "I... I can't believe what I'm hearing."

"Just an idle thought," Lindsey shrugged. "The fact remains is that the dead and wounded aren't our concern. The souls of the dead have been collected and processed and the wounded, well, they won't be our problem for a while yet."

"You know," Tara replied softly. "I'm starting to see why Mort failed you."

Lindsey bit his lip for a moment. "Well, I see we can't win this argument with... arguments. Let's put it this way. If this tribunal goes through, and Spike gets suspended or stripped of his rank, it could set a dangerous precedent. A precedent which many people would rather not see."

"He's right about that, listen to him!" Spike crossed his arms.

Tara nodded, but her resolve remained strong. "I will not retract the Writ," she spoke resolutely.

"Off the record," Lindsey spoke. "A lot of people, high-ups, will be quite pissed. They can make life very difficult for you. Think of your career, miss Maclay. Think of the bright future ahead of you. And be assured that you'll have none when you continue to pursue this."

If Lindsey thought he could intimidate Tara by this threat, he was sadly mistaken. Tara looked him right at the eye, gaining her confidence. "No, I will not retract the Writ."

Lindsey sighed and grabbed a file from the pile next to him. "You are close friend with Faith Lehane, aren't you?"

"Ey?" Spike seemed surprised. "What's Faith go to do with this?"

"Quiet Spike," Lindsey said before turning back to Tara. "Maverick Harvester, never filed a single report in her life, never plays by the rules, often informs you about classified Harvester cases, lets you make use of her emergency passcodes, has problems with authority figures and has a list of transgressions and breach of protocol as long as my arm. Because she is a Harvester and is good at her job, we've let things slide... Until now."

And finally, Tara's resolve faltered. "B-but... N-no, you can't! F-faith has nothing to d-do with this!"

"Lindsey, you bugger, what is this all about?" Spike snarled in his direction.

"When I'm done with Faith," Lindsey grinned, "she'll have been stripped of so many ranks and privileges she won't even be qualified to sweep the floor! That is, if you give me a reason to do so. Your best friend's future is in your hands, miss Maclay."

Tara was shaken by Lindsey words. She did not care about her own career as much as she should, but she never expected that they'd go after Faith to get to her. Faith... No, they can't... If I go through with this, will she ever forgive me?

"What the bloody hell is this, Lindsey?" Spike stood from his chair and shouted at the lawyer. "Faith has nothing to do with this. You leave her out of this! Dammit, I was her yoda, man!"

"Spike!" Lindsey also rose from his seat. "I will do anything in my power to prevent this case from ever going to Tribunal! This is bigger than you now, Spike."

"SOD THIS!" Spike shouted, and for a moment, it looked like Spike was about to punch Lindsey's lights out.

"Well, uh, let's have a short recess in light of... events," Lindsey said as he backed away slowly. "Spike, let's talk this out.

---

Though she tried not to show it, Tara was quite distraught. A brief visit to the coffee-machine and three cups of atrocious brown office caffeine slop later, Tara stepped over to the office public phone booth and dialed.

Please be there, I need to talk to you, Tara closed her eyes while the punched in the last number. Please have your phone one, please have your voicemail turned off...

A click sounded on the other side. "Faith here. Talk to me, baby... So," Faith said, sounding husky, "what are we going to do later on? I know what I'd like, you know? If you'd just slide your tongue..."

"Faith?" Tara asked.

"Oh, uh, T!" Faith sounded through the phone. "I, uh, I was kinda expecting B to call me from the School, and, uh..."

"I can hear you blushing over the phone," Tara quipped in spite of herself. Before Faith could say anything else, Tara interrupted her and told her what had happened during the meeting.

"And that's what they said," Tara concluded. Faith was silent and seemed to take it in.

"Do what you have to do, T," Faith finally said softly. "I trust you."

"But they could..."

"Don't worry about me, T, I got plenty of aces up my sleeve," Tara could almost hear Faith smirk. "Besides, I got Buffy... and I got you for a friend. They can't take those away from me... the rest is peanuts, T."

"Faith..."

"Whatever you decided to do, I'll back it," Faith told Tara.

"Thanks, Faith," Tara smiled. "I... I just needed to hear that."

"Tara, go back into that room and give 'em hell."

And Tara did, after stopping for another cup of brown office slop. Interestingly enough, when she stepped into the room, she noticed that Lindsey and Spike were arguing. However, Lindsey quickly cut him off as soon as he saw Tara had entered the room. He sat down, and Spike did the same, even though he was glaring daggers at Lindsey.

"Well, miss Maclay," Lindsey grinned like a rabid bullshark. "You've had some time to think it over. Do you..."

"I will not withdraw the Writ," Tara whispered softly.

If Lindsey was disappointed, he did not show it. "Well, that just proves the point that there's nothing quite as dangerous, or annoying, as a person of upstanding moral fiber."

"You have my answer," Tara replied softly. "Are we done here?"

"Not yet," Lindsey grinned. "I have one more thing to say to you, miss Maclay. Despite earlier rulings of the tribunal, I find the circumstances of your first Harvesting in Sunnydale highly suspect."

"That has nothing to do with it!" Tara replied sharply. "The case is closed, the files are sealed."

"True," Lindsey nodded. "But considering the unorthodox nature of your accusation, I can request to have those files re-opened... and that request will be granted if you pursue your current course of action. Willow... that's your girlfriend's name, right? Well, if we find out that any mistakes have been made in the past, we will be obligated to correct those," Lindsey's voice took on a hard edge. "And if there haven't been any reasons to Harvest your sweet little Willow, we will find a reason to Harvest her. As for you, Tara, well, accidents happen..."

It took a few moments for those words and the implication behind them to fully register in Tara's brain. She felt numb, as if someone had thrown a brick and hit her right between the eyes. She sank to her seat, flabbergasted, saddened and terrified at the same time.

"Now you just wait a damn minute here!" Spike rose from his seat. "It's bloody low to threaten to kill her lover."

"Shut up, Spike! Like I said, this has grown beyond you now!"

"Bollocks, mate, I won't be a part of this," Spike snarled. "We don't cull one of our own!"

"I..." Tara whispered softly. "I f-formally w-withdraw the W-writ of Accusation." I'm sorry, Willow. But you love life so much and I won't have you be hurt in any way.

"Well," Lindsey chuckled. "I knew you had a breaking point. It seems everybody has a price."

"On one condition!" Tara broke in, directing her attention at Spike. "You make sure that Xander Harris is cleared of all wrongdoings! And you do right by everyone you've hurt!"

"Miss Maclay," Lindsey started. "You are in no position to make dema..."

"DEAL!" Spike said, and extended his hand, which Tara took gratefully.

"Spike, what are you doing?!"

"Oh, shut your cake-hole, you paralegal twat!" Spike spat and then turned back to Tara. "Let's work things out, puppet."

Spike and a very happy Tara left the room, leaving Lindsey defeated once again.

---

"Hamburgers are ready!" Tara called from her kitchen. "Come and get them while they're warm!"

Xander paused the movie, while Willow, Dawn and Buffy jumped for Tara's homemade hamburgers. Faith and Anya, however, kept to the couch to be waited on. Faith because she was still recovering from her injury and Anya... because she was Anya.

"Tara's hamburgers are so delicious, Xander," Willow smiled. "Seriously, you won't know what you're in for."

"Tell me that horror-story again, Wills," Xander called over.

"Oh, yeah," Willow scraped her throat. "In Europe, you know, the hamburgers are tiny! I mean, European king-sized jumbo burgers are actually smaller than American small-sized burgers!"

Xander grimaced. "My brain hurts whenever I hear that. I mean, I know they're Europeans and all, but how do they survive on so little food? I mean, tiny hamburgers, come on!"

"I know," Willow said. "But I have to admit, the first time I actually managed to finish a 'king-sized burger' was when I was in Switzerland."

"Well, mine might not be king-sized, but I hope you like them anyway," Tara smiled when she flipped the last burger in between two halves of a bun.

The gang took the big stack of hamburgers to the table to return to the remainder of their movie night, today's theme : unintentionally funny crap. They'd started off the evening with Max Magician and The Legend Of the Rings, with a side order of Alone in the Dark, to finish off with the once-classic-now-silly Barbarella.

Tara sat down next to her girlfriend and grabbed a burger while Xander restarted the film. Immediately, the naive, blonde Barbarella (renamed Bimborella by Xander and Cordirella by Willow) faced off with the evil queen. The evil queen had been pissing off Willow ever since her first appearance in the movie.

Hello, pretty pretty...

"And, of course," Willow grimaced, "the evil queen is a lesbian. Because we all know that lesbians are evil to the core. Why, Tara and I torture small animals on a regular basis, don't we, sweetie? And we've been burying the bodies of our victims in the park, you know? Cause we've been draining blood from people to bathe in it, as we evil lesbians do. Oh, you think Richard Pryor and Johnny Cash died of natural courses? Hell, no, it was an evil lesbian plot. Lesbians are all evil psychopaths, because Hollywood said so."

"Breathe, Will," Buffy smirked.

"And lesbians don't all look the same and act the same. We don't all wear kicker boots, we don't all listen to K.D. Lang, we don't all watch Ellen, we don't all wear dozens of earrings and we don't all read the same books. Lesbians are as diverse as the four winds, no matter what my mother's stupid checklist says," Willow crossed her arms, looking generally broody and very, very pouty.

"Alright, I think you have some 'ignorant mom'-issues to work out," Anya smirked.

Willow stuck out her tongue and resumed her brooding.

"What I don't get is the hair," Buffy replied. "I mean, people in the seventies had no sense of fashion whatsoever. Those lava-lamps say it all, really. And what kind of person coats the inside of a spaceship with seventies-style psychedelic wallpaper?"

"Why would anyone build something called an 'orgazmatron'?" Dawn shrugged.

"I'll explain when you're older, Dawn," Faith smirked.

As the movie continued, Tara moved back to the kitchen to fetch some snacks for her friends, but couldn't resist grabbing a file folder from a deskdrawer and sneaking out to the balcony. In the file was written, in fine detail, how Spike had done right by his victims. Say what you want about Spike, but he's a man of his word. And Tara had to admit Spike and Dru had outdone themselves to right their wrongs. To his credit, Spike had realized that Faith had almost had to pay the price for his transgression. But though he had promised to do better in the future, Tara wondered just how long that would last.

The fact that Xander was sitting in her living room was proof enough of Spike's hard work. Xander had been formally and publicly cleared of all charges when the forensics report made it clear it was a production error that was the cause, not mishandling of the equipment. In fact, the construction company was being sued for placing the tank too close to the pavement.

One man, who had been seriously injured, had been arranged to be given a winning lottery ticket. A teenage boy had been set up for a harvard scholarship, and one girl would find the love of her life in the nurse helping her through the ordeals of learning how to walk for a second time. And the filefolder was full of these cases of 'good Karma' for all forty wounded and families of the seventeen dead.

"Hey," Willow stepped up from behind. "Got sick of the movie."

"I suspected that," Tara smiled as Willow hugged her and treated her to a staccato of brief, playful kisses, before inviting her for a deeper intense kiss on the lips.

"What was that for?" Tara asked.

"Because I'm proud of you," Willow said. "It was my Tara who made a difference. My own Tara."

"Spike did most of the work," Tara shrugged. "And I didn't really make any difference. The Head Office covered everything up and tightened the rules for Writs of Accusation. If anything, I made things worse."

"Don't be silly," Willow replied, softly rubbing Tara's cheek. "You helped those people. Maybe you take care of the dead, but don't forget about the living, baby."

"That really is a crappy movie, isn't it?"

"Let's stay out here a little longer. The moon's beautiful today."

"So are you."

"Fresh."

"Vixen."

"Sex-bomb."

"Witch."

"Hot-lips."

"I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, baby."
[hr]

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 2:34 pm 
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8. Vixen
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:59 pm
Posts: 871
Location: Germany
Haha, Willow's rant about lesbians cracked me up.
Quote:
Well," Lindsey smirked. "Perhaps it should be. Perhaps we should be gods."

Pft! I just hate him in every way possibe. What an ass! Good that Spike showed him the door and that Faith backed Tara up.
Are our burgers really that tiny? Trying to compare an Applebee's one to some German restaurant...cant figure it out hehe. :pinky
PS: Apparantly cola means tail in Spanish but it's also used for... dick.
Now you know :P

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 Post subject: Re: New Uber - Don't fear the Reaper
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:11 am 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
aww, heart the ending, the quick sweet jabs. ;D

your spike was surprisingly nice and honorable. very interesting. and yeah, i suppose like spike would be. :D i'd love to see something between spike and faith *hint hint* (no, not of sexual kind. the whole yoda joda).

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