Chapter Fourteen
Pairing: W/T
Angst Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I in no way, shape or form own the characters from BtVS, they’re owned by Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. All original characters are in no way connected to them except by me in this forum. No money is involved this is simply for my own pleasure.
Email:
riverwillows@me.comFeedback: Always a delight
Author’s Notes: As per the norm, there is no beta for this, so any mistakes are all my own. If you catch something, by all means PM me with it and I’ll fix it. Italics are used for emphasis. This is low angst, so now it’s just letting the love blossom, folks. I hope you enjoy another warm fuzzy one.HOW MY HEART BEHAVES
The light in the room was a hazy, pre-dawn white and I knew it was still early. I woke up the same way I had fallen asleep – with Tara in my arms. Tara was awake though, and lying quietly in front of me. She was stroking my fingers and palm, measuring their length and width against her own, then pressing our palms flush before starting again.
I took a slow deep breath and buried my face into the crook of her neck to let her know I had woken up, kissing the still sleep warmed skin. She wrapped both her arms around one of mine squeezing it, and wiggling back against me, making me giggle. I started to tighten my hold on her, but she turned over to face me. Tara kissed the tip of my nose then gently nuzzled hers against mine.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Morning,” I replied with a smile.
“How did you sleep?” Tara asked, slowly moving her hand up and down my back.
“Mmm… like a log,” I giggled. “What does that
really mean? How does a log sleep
anyway, and is there some sort of sliding scale of measurement for sleeping logs that tells just
how a log sleeps?”
Tara giggled and shook her head, but played along none the less. “Yes, I’m sure it’s all very scientific, sweetie. Maybe there’s even a… an “Institute for The Study of Sleeping Logs” that studies the sleep habits of insomniac logs.”
“Ooo, and that’s where they measure how a log sleeps! See it’s all very scientific! Poor little logs with night terrors and whatnot. They need a good night’s rest too, ya know,” I snickered still running with our randomly goofy topic of conversation.
Tara laughed wholeheartedly at that, throwing her head back in glee, and exposing the length of her graceful neck to me. “Do you have anywhere you have to be today?”
I kissed her throat, nibbling up and down. “Uh, uh,” I sucked at the point where I could feel her pulse thrumming against my lips making her moan lightly. “The gallery is closed until January second,” I sucking lightly at the tender spot again, “I’m free for days… and days,” I whispered switching side to work a trail up the other side of her neck. “What are you plans for the day?”
“Well, I was really hoping I could spend the day with you,” Tara murmured continuing to tilt her head to give me more access to her skin. “Are you hungry?”
“Mmmhmm,” I replied between kisses. “That sounds like a great idea.”
“Which? Having some breakfast, or spending the day together?” Tara said breathily.
“Mmm, both,” I said and slipped my hand to her hip, squeezing it lightly, as I held her close and nibbled on her.
******
I was leaning against a counter in the kitchen while Tara was making homemade biscuits. She had finally let me do something besides stand and admire her beauty – which I was quite happy to do. I juiced some oranges for fresh juice and had a nice pot of coffee brewing burbling away. I was becoming a master of doing as little as possible, not because I wasn’t willing to help, but because Tara kept shooing me away. Granted the “shooing” was accompanied by kisses, so I might have been getting in the way a little too.
We just talked while she worked. She asked questions about Lacey, and what it was like to grow up a military brat that moved around. I asked about Donny, her childhood, and her mom; the woman that had seemed to be so special to everyone. We talked about what it was like to grow up with Buffy, and more about how Robby had changed her life. We told each other more about ourselves, filling in all the little spaces in our lives for each other, telling stories and laughing.
We were laughing over some silly story when Buffy came shuffling into the kitchen bleary eyed and with serious case of bed head. She looked at me wearing sweats and a long sleeved shirt of Tara’s and then smirked at us. Tara rolled her eyes and pulled one pan of hot biscuits from the oven then put another in to bake.
“It’s not what you think,” I said handing her a cup of coffee.
“So you’re saying you
didn’t spend the night, then?” She said with a snort, as she walked over and pressed on the hickey Tara was sporting from that morning’s make-out session. “
Alone… in bed… with Tara… and did I mention the aloneness?”
“Willow did stay the night, but nothing happened…
really,” Tara smiled, moving next to me to rest her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her smiling and nodding. “It was all quite innocent,” she said.
“I’m
so sure,” Buffy sniggered as she sipped at the hot cup of coffee. We just smiled at her, and as she looked at us, she started to fidget nervously. Then she cried out guiltily, “Okay, okay! Stop looking at me like that!” Then she sighed in the most put upon fashion imaginable. Eying us both like we were going to pounce on her at any minute, she said in a rush, “Mom and I have been trying to work out a way to get the two of you together for months now.”
Tara and I looked at each other, and then back at Buffy expectantly. Buffy plopped down in the chair that sat under the phone on the wall, next to a narrow but tall table.
“Will, we love you. Robby just thinks you hung the moon, and you’re just… so
Willow,” she said smiling sincerely. “We just thought the two of you would hit it off. And Tara, I
know how you are. I can’t
remember the last time you had a date, girl!”
“Oh
God, Buffy just shut up, would you?” Tara said as she buried her face in my neck blushing.
“What if we don’t work out, Buffy?” I looked at her seriously. “I mean, that
is possible, we’re just getting to know each other…”
Buffy cut me off. “All I have to do is
watch the two of you. I
see how you are with one another, and I just
know.”
“You seem to have a lot of faith in us,” Tara said. “Buff, that puts an
awful lot of pressure on us…” she looked at me worriedly.
Buffy smiled sweetly. “Hey, I’m not saying either of you are
saints, or that everything will be
perfect[I], [I]please don’t put words in my mouth. It’s just… Tara, I
know you, we’re like sisters, you know? And Willow, you’ve become my best friend, and I just want to see you both
happy,” she shrugged. “I think you can be that for one another, you know?”
We both blushed, and linked our hands. I felt like a smitten teenager, and it was all because of Tara. I covered her hand in both of mine, gently rubbing it between them. I was learning to read her, and I was pretty sure she felt the same way. I thought maybe Buffy had put voice to what we both were feeling; maybe even what we both were hoping.
We looked at each other, affection shining in both of our eyes. With a silent understanding we went back to making breakfast. As I put the biscuits into a basket and wrapped them with a towel to keep them warm, Buffy’s words began to play over and over in my head until I felt a little dizzy. I slouched down in the chair Buffy vacated to go dress, and studied at my hands, trying to get a grip on myself.
I completely missed the fact that Tara was now standing in front of me until I felt her soft hand on my cheek. I looked up her and smiled weakly, my fingers still knotting themselves in my lap. She knelt down in front of me, and took my hands in her own to keep me from twisting them together.
“Hey,” she said gently. “Don’t let what Buffy said scare you, okay?”
I swallowed hard a few times and tried to smile. “I know… but, Tara, I don’t want to hurt you,” I replied. “That’s the
last thing I ever want to do.”
Tara stood, pulling me with her and into her arms. “Willow, this is going to be what it’s meant to be, lumps and all.”
I ran my fingers through her soft hair while she gently massaged my neck and shoulders. Our foreheads were pressed together, and I my eyes were shut tightly. Our earlier conversations had brought up the ghost of relationships past, some of the scars were long healed, and some were still tender. Combined with Buffy’s blind faith, it was all more than a little overwhelming for me.
“I don’t know that I’m worth it, Tara,” I whispered. My sometimes frail self-esteem was makings itself known now that it felt a spotlight being turned on to light a big
“SUCCEED!!!” sign Buffy had unwittingly erected.
“Why don’t you let
me decide that, hmm?” Tara murmured in my ear before kissing it lightly.
I nodded and she continued to hold on to me. Once again, it occurred to me that we had spent a lot of time doing that in the last forty-eight hours. In some form or another we had touched, stroked and held close to one another. With a deep sigh I buried my face in Tara’s neck, breathing her in calmed something in me that craved the solace that her embrace offered.
“I can’t explain you, Tara,” I said softly. “You… you
do something to me. I honestly can’t remember when I’ve
ever felt this way.”
“The feeling is
very much of the mutual kind,” Tara said softly.
She kissed her way along my jaw to my mouth. We just stood there kissing tenderly, soaking up what the other was offering greedily. There was a polite cough from the doorway that just barely registered in my consciousness, and it didn’t stop me from kissing Tara. The cough then became an overly exaggerated hacking wheeze that finally cut through the haze that always seemed to accompany kissing Tara.
“Good morning, girls,” Joyce said smiling.
We both looked at her, blushing for the second time that morning. Buffy came bopping in wearing jeans and an ivory cable knit sweater, but still had bunny slippers on her feet. Robby came in close behind Buffy, his hair was sticking up in places, and he was holding blanket. He managed to look adorably like “Linus” from the “Charley Brown” cartoons. Tara blinked rapidly a few times, and then smiled brightly at everyone.
“I hope you’re all hungry,” she moved back to the stove. “How do you like your eggs, Willow?”
******
Buffy and Robby were cleaning up in the kitchen since Tara had cooked. We silently slipped away upstairs. We still had no “real” plan so far, but Tara had wanted to shower. It seemed like neither of us wanted to be far apart for too long, and that would be too far for too long. The only plans we
did have were to get cleaned up, and that would also involve getting me home to do the same.
So while Tara went to shower, I layed back down on her bed to wait. Closing my eyes, I folded my hands behind my head and just let my mind wander. Buffy’s words came back to me; and some part of my brain began to flash forward, showing me snippets of what our life could be like five… ten… twenty years down the line.
I didn’t hear the bedroom door open, but I did smell the scent of coconut and vanilla. When I opened my eyes Tara had managed to get close enough to lean over me smiling; I stretched up a little and kissed her. She had wrapped herself in a gorgeous midnight blue silk robe, her damp hair dark and cheeks pink from the hot water. All in all, it was quite a fetching look on her.
“What was the big smile for?” she asked moving to her dresser.
“Uh… huh?” I replied.
“When I came in you had this big smile on your face,” she said.
I sat up, feeling heat rise in my cheeks – busted. “I was just daydreaming,” I said as I reach out to pull her close. My arms wrapped around her hips and rested my head against her stomach. As she ran her fingers through my hair, it crossed my mind that just a
thin piece of silk separated my skin from hers, and that thought sent a shiver up my spine.
Tara gave me a curious look, when I looked up at her. “Okay,” she said moving away to comb her hair. She disappeared for a moment into her closet, then into the bathroom again and I heard a hair dryer. When she came back she was dressed and her hair was pulled back into a French braid. It drew attention to her swan-like neck, and cute ears.
I couldn’t contain a love-struck sigh as I watched her put on her jewelry as I sat on her bed. All sorts of cheesy song lyrics floated through my head, and I had to roll my eyes at myself before flopping back on the bed. When I turned to look back at her, I also saw Tara smirk at me in the mirror, which made me blush at my own sappiness.
“You think you’re pretty cute, don’t ya?” I asked trying to play it off.
Tara turned around and leaned against the dresser, her head tilted to one side. “Well, regardless of what I
do or
don’t think, as long as I can keep
your attention then everything’s alright,” she said with a cheeky wink.
“You’ve got me hook, line and sinker,” I said. “Just without all the horribly sad flopping around and gasping for air… well sometimes there’s gasping for air, but then it’s only in a good way.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her.
Tara laughed and plopped down on the bed next to me. Our hands immediately gravitated towards one another, and quickly joined. We sat smiling and just looking at one another for a moment. My eyes were drawn to the alabaster skin of her exposed throat and simple gold necklace she had put on; it had a simple gold locket on it.
The locket had lovely filigree scrollwork etched into its surface, and look old but well cared for and loved. I took my finger and touched the now warm metal, and I knew without a doubt that it had been her mothers. I looked up, the unspoken question clear and Tara nodded her head, I also could tell this was something she treasured. I opened it and saw pictures of her mom and Donny smiling back out at me.
I don’t know what struck me, but I leaned forward and kissed Tara softly, and then I reverently kissed the locket. It was as close as I would ever be able to get to meet her mother and brother, and just felt right. When I pulled away, Tara’s eyes were glossy and she blinked rapidly several times before dropping her head to look away.
I put my arm around her waist and eased her into my lap, just holding her while she composed herself. Since we had spent part of the morning talking about her family, I knew how much she missed them and I also had a good idea of what Caroline had meant to Tara and everyone else for that matter.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” I whispered into her hair.
“You didn’t upset me,” Tara said tucking her head under my chin. “It was just incredibly sweet.”
I rubbed slow, soft circles on her back to soothe her when she tightened her arms around me. I started to rock her gently. As I held her, the thought occurred to me, making me wonder just how often Tara got to be the one comforted since I had an inkling of just how much she did the comforting.
“What would you like to do today, sweetheart?” I asked.
Tara looked at me with a wisp of a smile gracing her lips. “
Sweetheart?”
“It’s true,” I replied sincerely. “Is that alright?”
“Say it again for me,” she murmured.
“
Sweetheart…
my sweetheart…
Tara is
Willow’s sweetheart,” I said without hesitation.
“Mmm, yes, that’s very nice indeed,” Tara smiled.
I nuzzled my nose against hers, and kissed her deeply. With Tara sitting sort of across my lap, I could hold her in such a way that our hearts were pressed against one another. I could feel our hearts racing together, and time seemed to stop.
I’m not sure how long we sat there kissing; I just remember the exquisite feel of our beating hearts.
TBC…