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A friend of mine recommended this song and the lyrics just spoke volumes. By her request I wrote this songfic, so this is for you Danzlet *humungous hugs to Urnie for all her help and guidance* This fic takes place after Tabula Rasa. The song is called 'If You're Not The One' by Daniel Beddingfield.Willow let her hand run through the water, watching the tiny ripples spread across it. It was cool to the touch. She closed her eyes as the silent breeze blew her hair. Her heart was strangely light in this place; a place where she felt love surrounding her. Love in its truest form. Tara. If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
She stared with longing into the depths of the water, reliving memory after memory. Clinging to the time when it had all seemed so effortless. She loved Tara. Tara loved her. Screw the rest of the world. But now? Willow let out a small, almost inaudible sigh, and closed her eyes, the words flowing from her in a painful whisper, "Is it possible that you’re not the one?"
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Birds passed overhead. Willow opened her eyes, almost expecting to see Tara standing there. She took a deep breath and sighed, lost in the irony that as recently as days ago, life had been perfect; just looking into her loves eyes. She rose and began to walk along the path and over the bridge. The very same bridge they had traveled so many times before. Willow felt her heart soar as the memories came flooding back. She stood in a place entirely in her mind. Tara was with her. Tara was there. She smiled softly to herself and leaned against the railing, whispering to a little swallow that had landed next to her. "We’ll make it through…"
***
Tara walked along the sidewalk to her dorm, head down. Her heart, body, mind, and soul, concentrating on one thing.‘I just left Willow… I left Willow…'.
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Tara could feel her heart breaking more with every thought. Images of the past months flashed in her head. All of the anguish and all of the worries, all of the hurt and all of the deceit, and then, she saw the kisses, and the laughter, and the smiles. She shook her head and entered her dorm, standing there looking at it, taking in the silence and the emptiness of it. "I...I...I don’t need you," she said to herself, "I don’t…". She sat down on her bed, numbed by the lies she was telling. 'Oh Willow…' a solitary tear trickled down her cheek . Her body shuddered under her effort to control her heart 'Willow…'
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
***
Willow sat on the front porch swing, watching little children play in the front yard across the road. "I was so stupid," she said quietly to herself, the sound of their laughter filling her head. She thought about the magic. The magic that she had become so involved in, that she lost the one thing that mattered most in her life. "I was so stupid…", at that moment Willow knew what she had to do, nothing else made sense in her head. Why she was allowing Tara to be so far away, why she let her get to the point of even considering leaving her, but there was one thing that she knew with utmost certainty, that the only magic that she needed was the one that Tara made her feel, so very safe and home, the magic of love.
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
***
The days were passing slowly, each seemed to drag on and on, routine continuing. School. Eat. Sleep. Work. Live. Tara’s heart was like a scale; weighed down with grains of worry, but every piece of news she heard about Willow improving and fighting against the magic, removed one. The long days had given her plenty of time to think about life and her feelings; she posed herself many questions and pondered the answers, trying to reach some sort of understanding.
‘how does she make me feel this way?’
Magic…
***
Walking through the halls of the school, Willow knew that to have Tara back, she needed to take the step "She's not just going to fall helplessly into your arms Willow, you have to be the one. You can do this...just go...just go and talk to her… ’ she told herself, "I can do this…I’ll do whatever it takes…"
‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
***
Tara leaned against the wall, watching Willow pass, the redhead deep in thought. Tara felt her heart leap as the vision of her soulmate moved further and further from her. On a sudden urge, she followed her down the hallway, increasing her speed as she went, suddenly needing to see her, to know her...face to face.
"Willow!" she cried out, desperately trying to catch her breath.
"Tara? Are you ok!?"
Tara nodded and looked Willow in the eyes, so many questions flickering in her own.
"Will… am I made for you? are you made for me?" she whispered
Willow stared at her and her heart felt so full it might explode
"My heart tells me that I am…"
Tara’s face lit up with a smile and she looked at Willow and saw herself in her eyes.
Willow smiled back.
"We should have some coffee sometime...Uh, maybe someday ... this
week after class?"
Tara grinned at Willow, knowing, understanding. Realizing in that moment they were one forever...
~*@.......We are the weirdest person in the world.......@*~ Edited by: Tara22 at: 2/1/03 3:14:10 am
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