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Title: Break It Down Again
Author: ladydameon
Beta: Lain
Pairing: Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya
Rating: NR
Spoilers: Season Six - AU - from All The Way
Summary: Giles tells Tara that Willow cast a forget spell on her, but was it really Willow?
Willow stood on the other side of their room. The Room. Her arms moved nervously at her sides as she spoke. "I - I'm sorry, okay?" She didn't want to feel like this, to have Tara feel like this towards her. Maybe she was taking this whole magick thing too far. How could Willow feel safe if her only safe place wasn't there anymore?
There was no stopping the anger, the hurt. Tara tossed throw pillows from the bed onto the floor. "It's not that easy," she snapped. What was happening to Willow lay naked before Tara. Tomorrow, she would discuss things with Mr. Giles.
Still lost and unsure of what to do, Willow gave a slight smile. "Well, what do you want me to do? Reverse time and take it back? 'Cause I could probably-" She stopped at the sharp look on Tara's face, the grim expression that was directed at her. Softly, Willow said, "Joke. I don't think I could really-"
Why did Willow keep pushing? Tara made no attempts to stop the anger in her voice. "You know what, can, can, we not do this now? I'm tired." She yanked the blankets back and fell into bed. It was too hard to get a clear perspective on things now. Tomorrow. Tara would set everything straight tomorrow. Everything would be better tomorrow.
Now, everything was falling apart for Willow. She wanted to run but was too frighten to move. If she could run, the one place that she would go didn't exist, didn't want her. Tara closed the avenue for any further discussion. Willow had to know what she did. Of course, she had a pretty good idea, but there were still questions. "Okay, let's just forget it ever happened." A flip response was Willow's current answer to the situation. Lashing out was her only defense. Willow switched off the desk lamp. Moving towards the bed, she turned off another light before slowly climbing into bed. Lying on her back, Willow sighed, glancing at Tara's back.
Dawn had listened through the door connecting her room to Willow and Tara's. Tears ran freely down her cheeks, she winced as the fight ended and picked up a small herb branch with a couple of flowers on it. Holding it in her palm, she whispered, "Forget." A flash of light moved across the herb, leaving it dead and wilted. Dawn pressed an ear again to the door.
Tara smiled and giggled, "Ooh, your feet are cold." She rolled over and snuggled up next to her Willow.
Shifting to snuggle closer, Willow slid her cold feet under Tara's warm legs. "Better warm me up."
"Mmm." Tara breathed in Willow's scent. As she nuzzled Willow's cheek, she said, "This is how every day should always end . . . and start. And all the stuff in the middle."
Closing her eyes, Willow smiled contentedly to herself.
Dawn exhaled in relief as she rubbed the tears from her face. She couldn't bear it if Willow and Tara broke up. The fighting was never a big issue, never done in front of Dawn, but it had become more frequent, more noticeable to the sensitive teenager. She firmly believed that as long as they were okay and together that everything would be fine.
She hid the dead herb in her nightstand. As Dawn climbed into bed, she made a mental note to get rid of the herb before anyone could find it.
***
Early the next morning, soft giggling woke Dawn up. She groaned. Looking at her alarm clock, Dawn pulled the blankets over her head. Willow was doing 'something' to Tara. Of course, one was ALWAYS doing something to the other one. Dawn was going to make certain that it stayed like that for as long as possible. Sleep gently reclaimed Dawn as she listened to Tara say "Willow" over and over.
An hour later, Dawn walked into the kitchen. She reached into her pocket, pulled out the herb. What to do with it? The trashcan was empty. It would be too easily noticed. Why did I have to do my chores, she thought. She couldn't take it to school. A teacher would see it and jump to conclusions like they always do. Looking out the back door, Dawn decided to toss it over the neighbor's fence.
As Dawn was about to head out the back door, Tara squealed from the dining room. "Stop it!" Tara playfully swatted at Willow's wandering hands. "Dawn's in the kitchen."
Panic took over Dawn's mind. She frantically looked around the kitchen. Her eyes locked onto a group of canisters. Quickly, Dawn jumped over, lifted a lid and stuffed the dead herb inside. She would take care of it later. No one would bother it.
"Hey, Dawn." Tara walked into the kitchen with a flushed face. A pouting Willow followed her.
Upon seeing Dawn, Willow smiled. "Morning, Dawnie, how did you sleep?" She slid onto one of the island stools.
"Good."
***
Giles took in a deep breath as he stood in the blessed silence of the Summers' kitchen. The Watcher had made a disastrous choice by stopping by in the morning. However, it provided an excellent opportunity to observe his girls. Reviewing the morning's events, Giles put on a kettle.
Dawn tried without mercy to squander money out of Willow, Buffy and Tara. However, Willow busied herself by halting Tara's action at every turn with a kiss or a touch. Giles had his glasses spotless before his first cup of tea. Finally, Willow managed to drag out the reason for Dawn's fund request--a new CD, of all things. Giles almost laughed as Willow told her she could download it for free and burn a copy. The looks Tara and Buffy gave Willow were priceless. Buffy had looked at Tara and asked, "Can you really do that? That would save me a LOT of money."
The kettle whistled as Giles gathered the sugar and milk for his tea. Finding the small sugar bowl empty, Giles moved to the large canisters on the counter. He lifted the lid to reveal a dried up herb. Giles paid no heed to the front door opening. His gaze fixed on the familiar herb. Why was it in with the sugar? Who would use it? Giles picked it out of the sugar.
"Do you think Willow and Tara are okay?" Dawn put her book bag by the stairs.
Xander watched Dawn closely. She had been dancing around something since he picked her up at school. He thought it was something bigger, but obviously, the stability of Willow and Tara's relationship was a huge priority for the teenager. "Fighting is natural, Dawn. All couples go through it. I would be more worried if Willow and Tara never fought than I would the occasional word sparring." Xander stopped her in the dining room, something clicking. "Has something happened? Did you hear something? 'Cause I'm sure if you asked, they would talk to you about it."
Relief washed over Dawn. "No, I was just curious." She turned and walked into the kitchen to see Giles holding the herb. Her eyes went wide. Ohmygod. OHMYGOD. "Hey, Giles, what's up?" Casually, Dawn took a seat at the island. "What's that?"
The moment Giles heard Dawn ask about Willow and Tara fighting, something inside of him clicked, and all the pieces came falling into place. He wouldn't put this kind of behavior beyond Willow in her current state.
"Pretty but it looks kinda dead." Xander nodded at the herb.
"Yes, well, I'm sure it's nothing you need to concern yourselves with." Giles carefully placed the herb on the windowsill. Pouring his tea, he asked, "What are you doing home from school?"
"Oh, there was a water main break. So school will be closed for the rest of the week." Dawn knew her chance to hide the herb was gone. Now all she could do was wait and see how things played out.
Giles needed to talk with Buffy and Xander. Alone. He didn't want Dawn subjected to the topic of Willow, especially since she held Willow in such high regards. "It's an awfully nice day. There really is no reason for you to be hanging around the house. Don't you have friends to visit?"
It was an obvious dismissal. Dawn slid off the stool. Something big was going to go down. Her heart ached as she chided herself for it being her fault because it was her fault. Maybe there was a way out of it? She'd have to go ask. "I could go hang out with Janice."
"Good, make sure you call if you will be staying after dark." Giles waited until he heard the front door close. Holding up the herb, he shook it at Xander. "You need to go get Buffy."
"Whoa, G-man." Xander held up his hands. The whole exchange between Giles and Dawn was a little odd. In fact, Xander never remembered hearing Giles suggest Dawn go somewhere. "You just kicked Dawn out of the house and now you're ordering me around with a dead flower. What's going on?"
"I believe Willow has gotten out of control with her magick."
***
Xander sat at the table, starring at the dead herb. Mind control? Willow controlling Tara's mind? Well, Xander knew Willow could already do that without magick. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dawn's book bag. Willow and Tara fighting could be a reason. Xander knew Willow didn't like to fight, didn't like the confrontations. However, Xander also knew that Willow would wait until things calmed down then try to work it out.
"Xander, are you listening?" snapped Giles.
"I don't believe it." His answer was out before Xander realized it. "Sure, the mojo has be free-flowing but its all been good things." Xander looked up to the steel laced gaze. The look sent a shiver down Xander's spine. As Giles continued talking about how the magicks could affect one's perception, one's outlook on the world, Xander glanced over to Buffy.
The slayer was off in her own world. Her brows furrowed in concentration. Buffy knew she should be outraged or even concerned over her best friend's behavior. Yet, she didn't feel anything. No, everything was distorted, covered in a waxy film.
"We need to stop Willow before anyone else gets hurt." Giles worked himself up. He paced around, glaring intently at his charges, who never met his eyes. That only served to fuel his fire. Who knows how far Willow had taken her abuse?
By some twist of fate, it was at that moment which Willow walked into the house. She smiled at the three in the dining room. "Hey, what's up?" Her bright smile soon faded as Giles faced her.
***
"You think I...? What?" Willow looked frantically around at her friends. She was shocked, hurt. Shaking her head, she pulled at the sleeves of her jacket. "No. Never. I would NEVER do anything like that to any of you--especially not Tara."
Slowly, Giles approached Willow. He didn't want to scare her off. Softly, he spoke, "I know that bringing someone back from the dead could lead to a power trip...."
"Power trip," she squeaked. He was still thinking, what exactly was he thinking? Willow took a step back. Something told her not to let him near her. "No--no, Buffy HAD to come back!" Should she tell him about how Buffy made her promise to bring her back?
Giles took another step towards her.
Xander shifted. He only seen his best friend like this once, just once, and that wasn't good. "Giles, maybe we should...."
"No one is blaming you. We just want to help you." The Watcher kept his voice calm and even as he reached for her.
Willow moved to keep the table between her and Giles. "You do blame me," she hissed. It hurt what he was suggesting. Could it be true? No, Willow would remember something like that. She would swear off magick before she'd do anything like that to Tara. More to herself, Willow whimpered, "Tara's everything."
Xander saw the fear in her eyes. It was that same fear. God, the look ripped at his heart. He couldn't, wouldn't let Giles hurt her. Just as the Watcher made a move to grab Willow, Xander jumped between them. "Run!" The redhead bolted out the kitchen door as Xander struggled with Giles.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Giles managed to push Xander against the wall. "Buffy, quick go...."
Before the slayer moved to chase her friend, Xander snapped, out of breath, "You go after her . . . I walk out of here . . . for good." The slayer stopped and looked at her friend. Slowly, Xander stood up straight. "I'm not convinced that Willow would do ANYTHING to harm any of us."
"The magicks can change a person, Xander. We discussed this...."
"NO, you lectured." Xander wiped at the blood running out of his nose. He knew where Willow would go. There was still a chance to catch her. "The magick is inside of Willow, and Willow will always be Willow." Grabbing his coat, Xander moved towards the front door. His friend wasn't able to hurt anyone. He stopped next to Buffy. "Its good to have you back. I missed you. Dawn missed you. Everyone missed you. Whatever problems you have are your own." He put his coat on.
Buffy turned. "Xander...."
Grabbing the doorknob, the carpenter locked gazes with Buffy. This was the hardest stare she had ever received from him. "You asked her, and she came through for you, like usual. She has always come through for you." With that, Xander yanked the door open and left with a slam.
Buffy felt her lip tremble. Her shoulders started to shake. She had felt like she was in a daze since coming back, and now she was flooded with emotions, with memories. The slayer had begged her best friend to bring her back to life. As the dam of feelings broke, Buffy dropped to the floor.
"Buffy?" Giles knelt down next to the slayer. "Buffy, are you alright?" He gently placed a hand on her shoulder.
Shrugging off his hand, she shook her head. "No, everything is so screwed up." She wiped at the tears with the back of her hand. "You hate her for bringing me back."
"No, but I am worried about...."
Buffy cut him off. "You do." Looking up at her friend and Watcher, she whispered, "I asked her to, Giles. She didn't want to, but I begged her. Willow said it would take her down a dark path and I promised to help her, to bring her back to us. So if she did cast that spell on Tara, part of it's my fault." With that, she scrambled to her feet and ran upstairs.
The Watcher stood in the Summers' living room alone. In one hour, he had broken up a group of friends, a family. Buffy had run away from him in tears. Any doubts about her emotional state were now laid to rest. As morbid as it was, Giles knew that if she felt this much at this moment, it would only be a matter of time before Buffy found her center again. Xander had fought with him only to walk out. The young man had never expressed so much anger towards him. Willow had fled with a fear he had never seen in her before. Lines had been crossed. Secrets had been kept. The family had a long road ahead of them before they could reunite.
"Damn."
***
Willow wandered around Sunnydale, careful to keep out of sight. As night came, Willow faced something she never thought she would. Should she go to Tara? All day she was torn over whether or not to go to Tara and explain what had happened earlier. Yet, Willow didn't because she was afraid. It scared her that her friends thought she was capable of such a thing as mind control, especially mind control on Tara. However, the one question that frazzled Willow was: Was she capable of doing it? Yes. Would Willow cast a forget spell, or did she cast it on Tara? It was unclear, and that was why Willow stayed away from her everything, her always.
Where to stay the night was also unclear as Willow found herself standing outside of Spike's crypt. Sighing, Willow knocked the crypt doors. "Spike?"
He turned from the broken television. "One minute!" A witty reply rested on the tip of his tongue as he opened his door but Spike held it back. There was something in Willow's stance, something lacking in her eyes. "Red, to what do I owe the pleasure? Scooby business?"
"Sort of."
"Well," Spike said, standing aside. "Where are your pals? It's not like you lot to wander around after dark alone." Willow never came to fetch Spike. It was always Buffy or Xander. Actually, Spike couldn't recall any time Willow visited his crypt.
"TV broke?" Willow casually walked over and looked inside the open back panel. She needed the distraction.
"Yeah, the bloody thing goes in and out." Spike didn't mention he'd missed Passions for the third night in a row. "Think you can fix it?" Before the sentence finished, the television flickered to life. He couldn't help but smile. Quickly, Spike hopped over and adjusted the antenna. Pleased with the reception, he asked, "Want to watch with me?" Truth was, Spike wanted the company.
"Sure." Willow curled up in the offered chair.
During a commercial, Spike asked, "Where's your bird, Red?"
"She's in class." Normally, Willow would have heated up leftovers for her and Dawn while they waited for Tara to come home. She sighed.
Spike watched Willow for a moment. Just when he was about to ask another question, the commercials ended. What could have happened to force the Slayer's sidekick away from the Scooby gang? Spike felt genuine concern for Willow. Once the show ended, he reached up and turned off the television. Spike studied the one closest to his obsession, his passion. It was this slip of girl that the big bad went for when they wanted to send a message to the slayer.
"Okay, out with it," snapped Spike.
Wrapping her arms around her knees, Willow looked down at Spike, but she didn't look down upon him. It was odd. They had some strange understanding and respect for each other. Although he'd tried to kill all the Scoobies several times, Willow told Spike everything.
At the end of story, Spike just sat there with a blank expression. There was a lot of information coming out her mouth, but Spike managed to comprehend all of it--by some miracle. However, there were a few bits that really caught his attention. "Slayer asked you to bring her back?"
Willow nodded.
Spike rolled this around in his head. Did Willow know Buffy was in heaven? Would it have mattered? If resurrection was what Buffy wanted, Willow would come through for the slayer. He watched her. Should he tell her? "How did Giles reach his conclusion?"
"He found the herb in the sugar canister."
"Talk about overreacting," Spike snickered. This type of behavior proved that the Scooby dynamic was off track. "Well, the Niblet has always been sensitive to you love birds." He stood up. The vacant glaze in Willow's eyes told Spike she was lost in her thoughts. "I'll be right back. Stay." There were a few things he needed to check out.
***
It was getting late, but Tara wasn't really concerned as she walked down Revello Drive. The vampires never ventured close to the Slayer's house, let alone her neighborhood. Tara frowned. Well, vampires did come to the Slayer's house, usually to kill her. Turning, Tara saw Spike following her. She waited for him to catch up. No reason to be rude.
They walked in silence to the front door. Once Tara had the door opened, Spike drifted off into the night. "Thank you," she whispered before slipping inside. Tara smiled as Spike gave a half wave while walking away. Closing the door, she shook her head. Spike did care in his own twisted way, and maybe not so much for Xander or Giles, but he did care as much as a vampire could possibly care.
"Mr. Giles." Tara jumped back at the sudden appearance of the Watcher. The house was so quiet. The house was never quiet. Someone was always making some kind of racket. "Where is everyone?" She dropped her shoulder bag next to the stairs.
Giles stood unmoving in the living room, hands in his pockets . He had thought Willow may have come home. "How was your day?"
Tara joined Giles in the living room. Something was off. "Just like any other day." She smiled, watching as he sat down on the sofa.
"Ah, have you seen Willow?" He needed to do something with his hands. Giles tried not to wince at the disgustingly cold tea as he took a slow sip.
"No, Wednesdays are her early day and my late night. She did mention swinging over to her parents' house this afternoon. Maybe she got held up." Tara saw and felt the rigidness. He wasn't an easy man to read, but after two years, Tara had learned to read all the Scoobies. Carefully, she asked, "Did something happen?"
With a nod, Giles said, "You could say that." There was no point in dragging this on, but Giles had to proceed carefully. He couldn't give a repeat performance. "Have you and Willow been confrontational lately?"
Tara furrowed her brows. "Have we been fighting?" She joined Giles on the sofa. "W-what's going on? Everything's good with us. Oh, did Dawn hear something?" It wasn't any surprise. Dawn was a little sensitive to Willow and Tara's moods. She might have brought her concerns to Giles.
"No, Dawn's fine. She's spending the night at a friend's house. Janice, I believe" Giles hated this questioning. Slowly, he unwrapped the herb from a napkin. "I found this in the sugar canister this morning." Upon seeing her face, he sighed at Tara's realization. "I would be amiss if I did not express that Xander doesn't feel Willow would use mind control."
He found it in the sugar canister, Tara thought. Why would that be with the sugar? Slowly, the full implications of what Giles said cleared in Tara's mind. "You think Willow cast a forget spell on me over a fight?" The idea was absurd. Willow had been so loving, so attentive. Tara blushed at memories of the morning. "Do you really think Willow would do something like that?"
Giles almost doubted himself as he noticed the intensity of Tara's gaze. "I don't know of any reason or anyone else who would have that herb." He watched as Tara's world crumbled around her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, Giles said, "As soon as she comes home, we'll take care of it."
Tara was jolted out of her musings. Did he say as soon as she comes home? "It's Wednesday. Willow should already be home. What happened, Mr. Giles?"
"Oh, well, I gathered up Xander and Buffy. We had a discussion about Willow, magick and the abuse of magicks."
***
Once Tara shut the front door, Spike doubled back. He stood outside, looking into the living room window. Eavesdropping filled a lot of the blanks. Spike couldn't help a snort when Giles talked about the "discussion" on magick abuse and addicts. It was really a good show, almost as good as Passions. Smiling, Spike leaned closer to the window. The expression on Tara's face when Giles told her....
"Y-you tried to grab her?" Tara hopped up, crossing her arms. At Giles' nod, she started towards the kitchen but stopped. "I don't think that would have been a good idea for an out of control witch."
Giles sat back as he took in the passive aggressive stomach punch. He had just assumed Willow would lie, wheedle her way out of it. His shoulders slumped forward. Giles had pushed Willow away all in the name of . . . of what? Flashes of the argument between him and Willow about Buffy's resurrection kept playing in his mind. "She tried to play the big girl," Giles whispered. Slowly, it all started to make sense. He had been an abandoned piece on the board.
Tara looked longingly at the clock. Sighing, she said, "I think I'll go to bed." She didn't know what to do. Should she go looking for Willow? Would Willow come home? Did Willow really cast that spell? Tara hoped with all she was that her lover wasn't responsible. Yet, that raised the question of who and why?
As Tara disappeared up the stairs, Spike could see the turmoil playing. Things were making sense. He hopped off the porch and did a quick sweep around the house. The master bedroom's light turned on. He stopped. Tilting his head, Spike made out muffled crying. It was Buffy. How he wished to soothe her pain, but it was a necessary pain, a healing pain. A pain only Buffy could heal.
Snapping himself out of his musings, Spike headed back to the crypt. There was one Scooby he could help tonight.
***
Tara stopped at the top of the stairs. She looked at Buffy's closed door. Slowly, Tara walked down the hall and raised her hand as if to knock but stopped. Muffled sobs came through the door. Had Buffy been crying all this time?
Taking a step back, Tara turned back to her own room, their room. Tonight was a night of solace. Tomorrow would be a day of new beginnings, a day of healing. Tomorrow, Tara would go out and find Willow. They would talk and try to understand together. Sitting on the bed, she said, "Tomorrow." Tara laid down, hugging Willow's pillow as her own tears fell.
***
Spike came back to his crypt to see Willow in the same position. Lighting a cigarette, he sat on a sarcophagus opposite of her. "I made sure your bird got all tucked into her nest alright," he said.
Willow looked at him with unshed tears both thanking and pleading. "Am I really getting out of control?" If anyone would tell her how it was, it would be Spike. Willow counted on it.
After a long drag, Spike nodded, "You're on a fast track to some unpleasant place." A large tear rolled down her cheek. He swallowed. Jerking the other Scoobies brought him joy but every time Spike looked Willow in the eyes, he couldn't pull the chains. That was why he never looked Willow in the eyes when he did it. "You did what was asked of you. You did what was expected of you." It's not your fault their expectations change at the drop of the hat, thought Spike.
Willow shuddered, suddenly feeling cold. If Spike thought she was out of control, then she must really be a monster.
***
Xander sat in his car outside of the Magic Box. Resting his head on the steering wheel, he sighed. His movements were slow as he got out of the car and headed inside. Xander had driven all night with no luck in finding Willow. Stomping into the shop, he rubbed his tired face. "Is Giles or Buffy here?" he asked walking stiffly towards the research table, towards Tara and Dawn.
"No." Anya moved from behind the counter. She joined Xander at the table. "You didn't come home last night...." The message Xander had left was a little odd, and neither Tara nor Dawn offered any information.
"I drove around looking for Will. She wasn't in the usual places or the unusual ones." He picked at a corner of the newspaper before him. Xander refused to made eye contact with anyone. Slowly, he looked up with warm, sad eyes. "She didn't cast that spell on you, Tara." He could tell she wanted to believe him. Xander wanted her to believe him.
"How did the intervention thing go?" Anya rubbed Xander's tense arm.
"It was a mess," Xander sighed covering his face with his hands. "Giles went nuts. He lectured at Buffy and I about magick for an hour before Willow showed up and he just started attacking her." Xander paused. Things weren't going to get any better as long as there were still secrets. "I think he hates Will for bringing Buffy back."
"Well, it took us awhile to get use to the idea." Anya had her own reservations about the resurrection but she went along because of Xander. Also if anyone could do it, Anya knew Willow would pull it off.
"Buffy made Willow promise to bring her back," Xander blurted. That secret snaked around for months. He hoped it would be happy to be free.
"W-what?" This was news to Tara. Giles didn't mention that last night. Or did he even know? During those months, Willow was nothing short of obsessed. It disturbed Tara. She was sure the magick would change Willow, but she put those thoughts aside. There was just too much to deal with at the time.
Anya blinked for a moment. "When?"
"After Willow helped Buffy with the mind meld spell."
Anya thought for a minute. "When did Willow tell you this?"
Xander sighed. "She first told me here while we were getting ready to face Glory. Willow brought it up again a month after...."
"And you didn't tell Giles?"
He glared at Anya. "No, he would have put a stop to it. Willow would have listened and guilt would have eaten her from the inside out. She comes through, Anya. Despite the bickering you two go through, hasn't she always come through for you?"
Anya nodded slowly. "Yes."
Tara gazed out the shop's front window. Her love was out there, lost and alone, so very alone. The promises of tomorrow seemed bleak. Turning, Tara took Dawn's hand and gave a weak smile. With a squeeze, she whispered, "It'll be okay, Dawnie."
Dawn didn't believe what was happening. It was such a nightmare. All Dawn wanted was to keep Willow and Tara together, to stop the fighting. Everything was crumbling around her. She had to find a fix. She would figure out a way to bring everyone back together.
***
Giles woke up on the Summers' sofa. Sitting up, he rubbed his neck.
"About time you woke up."
Giles blinked to reveal Buffy standing before him, hands on hips. "Buffy?" He studied her carefully. There was something different about the slayer.
"Come on, we're going to look for Willow." Sharply, Buffy turned towards the kitchen. She took a deep breath. Last night was hard. Last night was like being born again. Since coming back, Buffy felt disconnected from everyone and everything. She had forced herself to forget the promise between her and Willow. It was easier to blame someone else than accept responsibility. Standing at the kitchen sink, Buffy bowed her head as she gripped the counter. She was glad Tara went to pick up Dawn this morning. Buffy was relieved when she woke up to find Tara already gone, a note on the refrigerator.
Straightening, Buffy turned to face Giles. "We're going to find her and bring her home and let her know we love her, and we will all help her. We will all help each other." Her tone let Giles know that this was law, that there was no negotiation.
"Of course."
***
All morning Buffy dragged Giles around Sunnydale. She didn't want to give up but knew Giles would have to stop soon. One last place, Buffy thought, kicking in the door of Spike's crypt. "Spike!"
"Bloody hell, woman! I just fixed that door." Spike climbed out from his bedroom. "To what do I owe your sunshine mood this morning? It's bad enough I had to put up with Xander last night." He flopped into his recliner, lighting a cigarette.
Giles asked, "Xander was here last night?"
"Yeah, going on about you actually."
Buffy folded her arms. "Did Xander find Willow? Have you seen Willow?" Please have let Xander have found Willow.
Spike tilted his head. "It's not like you to lose a pet, Slayer."
The reactivation of emotions resulted in short fuses. Buffy leaped at Spike, grabbed him by the collar and growled in his face. "I'm not playing games. Do you know where Willow is?" At the shake of his head, Buffy tossed Spike back into his chair, causing it to fall backwards. This was too much.
Slowly, Spike stood. "What's going on? Xander wasn't too clear on the details."
Buffy turned to leave but Giles stopped her with a hand on the shoulder. He whispered, "Last night, Tara mentioned that Spike walked her to the door." The Slayer locked gazes with the Watcher. "We're very concerned about Willow, Spike. If you know any place she may go, please tell us."
Spike narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong with Red?" When it was obvious no one was going to answer, he continued, "Oh, I see. Can't control the little witch? Everything's fine as long as she stays on her leash." He took a long drag. "There's nothing wrong with her. You just want her to think that there is something wrong."
"What's your game, Spike?" Giles took several steps towards Spike, fists clenching as he ground his teeth. "Our only concern is to find and help Willow before her magicks get too out of control."
Laughing, Spike tossed his cigarette on the floor. "What Red do? Cast a spell without permission?" He looked up at that moment. There was a shimmer in Giles' eyes. Oh, just a little bit more pressure. Before Giles could turn away, Spike lifted his hammer to strike the last nerve. He wasn't going to let Giles off the hook. "So, Red's gone off the beaten path. She's shaken the trees by bringing Buffy back." Closing the distance between them, Spike said, "Well let me remind you how many times that witch saved our arses last summer. Let me remind you how many spells you pushed her to cast. Let me remind you how she looked to you for guidance and acceptance only for you to walk away. So, Watcher, the way I see it, you are just as guilty for the misuse of power as Red." Spike turned away. He had gotten the desired reaction. No reason to push his luck.
Buffy watched in wonder. The events during her death were not discussed. It was yet another thing to add to the ever growing list. She reached out to Giles. "Come on." Together they turned.
Before Buffy walked out into the sunlight, Spike said, "She doesn't know she pulled you out of heaven. It would be wise for you to tell her yourself." He wanted to say more but couldn't. If he said more, Spike would have given it away that Willow stayed there last night. He didn't want to give any of the Scoobies a reason to come back just in case.
Buffy and Giles walked to the Summers' in silence. Both lost in thought. Both uncertain of future actions, save one. Both wanted to bring their family home.
***
Standing outside of Dawn's bedroom door, Giles sighed, raising a hand to knock. Downstairs, Buffy called the Magic Box. She was organizing a Scooby meeting. Giles knocked. It was now or never.
"Come in."
He opened the door to see Dawn lying across her bed. "May we talk?" At her nod, Giles walked across the room to sit on the desk chair. "I wish to apologize for my behavior yesterday."
"Its okay. You had a lot of stuff going on." Dawn sat up and closed her journal. She had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation.
"Well, yes, but I should not have been short with you." Leaning forward, Giles linked his hands together. "Buffy's calling the others, and I would like you to join us downstairs."
"Will Willow be there?"
Giles cleared his throat. "That's what we'll be discussing. No one has been able to find Willow." He felt bad for the young woman across from him. His gaze followed Dawn's to the door leading towards the master bedroom. "You miss her don't you?"
"It's weird. I know all our memories are fake but sometimes--sometimes I felt like Willow was just as much a sister as Buffy." How many times had Willow babysat her? How many times had Willow explained things no one else would? Dawn fought back the tears. She was responsible for Willow running away from her family.
Giles felt uncomfortable. He didn't know what to do, what to say. So, Giles stuck with his original plan. Explain what the hell had been going on. "Yes, I believe I can relate. However, I came in here with another purpose besides apologizing. I wanted to talk about magick abuse and addiction. It has been concluded that Willow cast a forget spell upon Tara. In regards to what, exactly, is still speculation. However, the fact remains Willow needs to receive help before her magick usage gets too out of control..."
Dawn ignored the words coming out of Giles' mouth. He had drawn the line to Willow by connecting obscure dots. She did it. This was her fault. Yet no matter how many times Dawn opened her mouth, the words would not come out. Somewhere outside, Willow wandered lost and confused. On the other side of the door, Tara stared at the ceiling, also lost and confused.
"...There are consequences to such magicks Willow has been using."
Wait. Dawn snapped Giles back into focus. "Consequences?"
Giles nodded. His lecture train derailed, he answered, "Yes, its impossible to determine how Buffy's resurrection will affect the future."
"I'll take on whatever consequences with Willow for bringing Buffy back." Dawn couldn't hold back the tears now.
This was where Giles thought it best to make an exit. How could he tell Dawn that it went against nature or that it was the wrong thing to do when Giles himself was happy for it? "I'll call you when the others arrive." Silently, he slipped out the door and down the stairs. Yes, Giles disapproved of the resurrection of Buffy Summers, but he was glad for it.
***
Dawn didn't blame Giles for running away when the tears started. He just wasn't used to dealing with all these female emotions. Of course, that really didn't make any sense either, but Dawn chose not to dwell on it. After Giles left, Dawn slowly rose from the bed and knocked on Tara's door.
"Yes?"
Opening the door, Dawn asked, "Tara, can we talk?"
"Of course, Sweetie." Sitting up, Tara casually returned a picture of her and Willow to the nightstand. "Did Mr. Giles speak with you?"
"Yeah." Dawn crawled across the bed, rested her head on Tara's shoulder. She smiled as Tara absently played with her hair. "He talked about Buffy calling a meeting and about Willow's magick." She took her time to form her words from thoughts and feelings. Dawn knew Tara wouldn't push, wouldn't assume. "Why hasn't anyone done a locator spell?"
Giles had asked Tara that very question when he returned. Tara shook her head. She gave Dawn the same answer. "Willow will come home when she's ready. Forcing help upon her will do nothing to correct the situation. She has to want help." Sometimes, Tara could sense Willow, especially when Willow worked a lot of magick or a single intense spell. It wasn't a sense that allowed Tara to feel what Willow felt or enabled Tara to find Willow. No, this sense was something else entirely. It was because of that sense Tara feared the path Willow currently trod. Besides, if she felt it, Tara was certain others would eventually.
"Do you think Willow's really out of control?"
Tara placed a soft kiss on the top of Dawn's head. "I think she may be on a dangerous path and, she may need guidance to find her way."
"Do you think she cast that forget spell?" Dawn sat up. She looked intently into Tara's eyes. "Do you?"
Tara sighed. That question had plagued her all last night and all day. "My heart and mind are still debating. I want to believe...." Tara reached out and squeezed Dawn's hand. She's taking this really hard, thought Tara.
It's now or never. Taking a deep breath, Dawn let the words come out. "I cast the spell on you both." For a moment, she feared Tara wouldn't believe her but Tara could always tell when she was lying.
"What?" A new flood of emotions washed through Tara. Was Dawn trying to protect Willow? Tara's brow furrowed as she studied Dawn carefully. It was true. "Dawn," she whispered. "I realize this is all very confusing for you and that you miss Willow...."
Dawn leaped from the bed towards her bedroom. "I have proof!" Grabbing a box from under her bed, Dawn pulled out a bundle of herbs. They were the exact same as the one Giles found in the sugar canister. "I did it, not Willow. I'm sorry."
Carefully, Tara took the offered herbs. She looked at Dawn. "Oh Sweetie," she cooed and wrapped Dawn in a fierce hug. Willow didn't do it. Willow didn't cast the forget spell. However, the fact that it was Dawn opened even more doors, created even more problems. "How did you learn about the herb?" Tara remembered that herbal volume was kept in the private collection at the Magic Box.
A weight had been lifted from Dawn's heart as she sunk into the safety of Tara's embrace. "You know how Willow gets all intense and you can ask her anything without her really realizing it? Well, I asked."
Despite herself, Tara laughed. "Sweetie. Oh Sweetie." As the relief washed over Tara, she thought about the new obstacles. The others needed to know before Willow was found. "We need to tell the others." Tara pulled back, cupped Dawn's face. "I'm proud of you for telling the truth. I can understand how you felt, but you need to tell the others." Tara watched as fear filled Dawn's face.
OHGOD. Oh God. Dawn knew she couldn't back out now. It was the right thing to do. She had to face the consequences of her actions. With a deep breath, Dawn nodded and walked downstairs to the dining room with Tara.
***
Buffy, Giles, Xander and Anya stared dumbly at Dawn.
"Huh?"
"You cast the forget spell?"
"Wow."
"How did you get those herbs?"
Tara squeezed Dawn's hand. "Its okay," she whispered, urging Dawn to explain. In hindsight, Tara realized just how hard the last day had been on Dawn. The one thing in Dawn's life she fought to preserve was gone--her family.
"I asked Willow one night while she was working on the Buffy-bot. You know how she gets kind of into a zone when she writes code." Dawn explained how Willow told her about the herbs, how Willow told her how to use the herbs. She chalked the questions up as general curiosity. Dawn had used Willow's disoriented and disheveled state to her advantage. "It wasn't that difficult. She's been kinda all over the place with . . . stuff."
"Stuff?" asked Buffy. No one talked about the events during her absence.
Giles leaned back in his chair. It was true. Willow had been all over the place balancing her life, patrol, the Scoobies. The Hell God pushed everyone to their limits. "Patrol and Dawn were our top priorities."
"Mr. Giles suggested Willow and I move in with Dawn." Tara left out the part about how Giles was supposed to come up with a permanent situation.
Xander shifted in his seat. "Haven't there been enough secrets?" He knew the story just like Giles and Tara. "Willow's not the only one in a bad place."
Buffy looked from Xander to Giles to Tara to Dawn. Finally, she turned to Anya. "Give me the blow by blow."
Anya explained everything. How she lost herself in working. "The money didn't help." How Giles drank most of the time. "He never left the house." How Xander fretted. "He drove his construction crews crazy with safety rules." How Dawn clung to Tara or Willow. "She wouldn't stay at the house until Willow and Tara moved in." How Tara pampered everyone by doing everything. "Even after she asked if you wanted something, she'd go on and do it." How Willow dove into the magicks. "The magick made patrolling easier, possible." Wrapping up her detailed yet very truthful recap, Anya said, "We were useless pawns. No one wanted the mantle. No one thought they could carry the mantle." She paused as a very thoughtful expression crossed her face. "But Willow did."
"She did it because we forced her to take your place," added Xander. "She did it for you." It hurt hearing everything Anya had said, but it was truth. Buffy deserved to know. Buffy needed to know what had happened, how they faired without her. An edge crept into his voice as he said, "She resurrected you because you asked her to." Xander wasn't sure if he drove that point home the other night. A nice tap of a nail punch wouldn't hurt.
Tears rolled down Buffy's cheeks. She hated herself. She hated that she didn't stop the ritual in time. She hated how she treated her friends after they brought her back.
Breaking the silence, Anya suggested, "Well, we should do a revealing spell on the herb." When what she said hit her, she added. "Not that Dawn is lying, it's just we don't want a repeat of the other night." Anya chuckled nervously to herself.
The group sat in silence. As the front door opened, everyone sat frozen. Willow stepped inside, closing the door softly. She glanced at everyone in the dining room. "I'm just going to go get a few things that I'm going to need because I don't know when I'm going to be back from getting my magicks under control." Willow bolted up the stairs, hoping no one followed her. Quickly, she grabbed a small duffle bag, tossing in her laptop and some clothes.
***
"We can't let her leave!" Dawn gripped the top of her chair, looking at everyone urgently.
"What?"
"Willow's leaving? She just got here."
Dawn rolled her eyes. For a group that saved the world--a lot, they sure were slow at times.
Giles cleared his throat. "I believe she mentioned going to get help with her magicks." He wondered where Willow would go, whom she would train with. For that matter, Giles wondered why she wouldn't ask him. Oh, he thought.
Dawn turned back around as she heard Willow coming down the steps.
Willow stopped in front of the door, hand on the knob. She turned and smiled weakly. "I'm sorry." With that, Willow left.
No one said anything. Dawn didn't understand why no one said anything, why no one stopped Willow from leaving. She jerked herself around to look at the others. They were in a daze. Dawn had to face the consequences of her actions. So, she would stop Willow.
***
"Dawn, you should go back into the house." Willow didn't look back, just kept walking. A hand slid into hers and squeezed. Finally, Willow stopped and looked into the pleading eyes of Dawn Summers. The pain, the idea that she hurt the people she loved the most overwhelmed Willow.
"I did the spell."
What? No. Willow shook her head. Her brows furrowed as she studied the grass. Even if Dawn did cast the spell.... "That changes nothing. I'm still not safe to be around."
"They don't think I'm safe either with all the messing around with the magicks. So, at least we could be unsafe together?" Dawn took Willow's hand in both of hers. If this didn't work, she would toss herself onto the ground and scream. "I've already told the others. They believe me. Don't think it sunk in yet, but they believe it." Something Anya said clicked as she added, "We could have Tara or Giles do a reveal-y spell to--to show that it was me."
The entire situation kept growing, getting more complex, more layers. "My head feels like it's going to explode." Willow dragged her eyes skyward. "Why?"
"Why what?" Dawn still held fast onto Willow's hand.
"Why did you cast the forget spell on Tara and me?"
Dawn wasn't quite sure how to answer. Tara hadn't asked. No one asked why. They only asked how not why. Slowly, Dawn released her hold on Willow. When Willow held on, Dawn said, "You were fighting about magick. It started out as Tara giving you these odd looks and slowly it turned into words. I thought it was nothing, but you guys started acting like Mom and Dad did before they got divorced."
Willow hung her head as it started to make sense. Part of her wished it didn't make sense. "What was the fight--the one before the spell--about?"
Dawn forced the words out. It seemed so stupid. "The decorations for Xander and Anya's engagement party, but you guys were pretty tense before that."
***
"Where's Dawn?" Buffy leaped out of her seat to the window. Peering out, she saw Willow and Dawn talking, holding hands. "She's talking with Willow."
The others rose. As they joined Buffy, Anya asked, "Why couldn't we say anything?"
"We didn't know what to say," answered Tara. She knew what to do but not what to say.
"She mentioned getting help." Giles turned to Tara. "Where would she go to get help?"
"Maybe we should go ask." Buffy headed towards the door, but was stopped by Xander.
"Look, they're coming back."
***
Closing the door, Dawn still held Willow's hand. "I convinced Willow to stay here while she got help. Um, while WE got help."
Buffy flew to her best friend, wrapping arms tightly around her. "I'm sorry."
Leaping forward, Xander hugged them both.
"Uh, I can't breathe," Willow coughed. As Buffy and Xander pulled back, Giles replaced them. Now, Willow was confused. She cast a glance at Buffy and Xander who still hugged each other. "Um?" Somewhat embarrassed, Giles released Willow. Anya grabbed her next followed by Dawn. Leaving still seemed like a very good idea, but all such thoughts left as Tara wrapped her arms around Willow.
Tara smiled as their bodies naturally melted together. Softly, she whispered in Willow's ear, "Don't leave me like that again." The request was sealed with a searing kiss. Tara ran fingertips across a smooth cheek.
Willow lost herself in Tara's eyes. "I didn't know what to do. I still don't know, but everything's so messed up. I'm messed up. I hurt you, but it turns out I didn't. But I have been hurting everyone."
Tara stopped Willow with another kiss.
Buffy released a happy sigh. She would not comment or tease her family tonight. Turning to Giles, Buffy asked, "Think you can work the reveal spell?"
At his nod, the rest of the group retreated back into the kitchen.
***
The entire Scooby family sat at the dining room table. Giles and Buffy at the ends while Xander and Anya gazed across the table at Willow, Dawn and Tara. Usually, Giles sat flanked by Xander and Willow while Buffy always sat across from him, but not this time. Willow uncharacteristically dropped herself next to Buffy.
Tara noticed Willow's behavior. Actually, she found herself keyed up and ultra-sensitive to everyone's emotions. Dawn felt kind of lost. So, Tara sat her down between herself and Willow. Any doubts for doing so were put to rest as Willow took Dawn's hand and smiled. Tara made a mental note to ask about what they talked about outside. There were a million issues to juggle. However, the main focus for Tara was Willow and Dawn. Dawn's feelings would be easier to handle than Willow's. Simply put, Willow was frightened of Giles.
That bothered Tara. She remembered Giles mentioning trying to grab Willow, but how exactly did he try to grab her? As everyone settle around the table for a long night of civil conversation, Tara noted that Giles noticed Willow distancing herself from him.
The battle will be long and hard, thought Tara. She caught Willow's eyes and smiled. She'll survive, Tara thought, and will be stronger, if not wiser, for it. Her heart swelled with joy and love. Willow was home. That was all that mattered the moment Tara saw her.
Willow tore her eyes from Tara. She knew they could just look at each other for hours, but there was an agenda at hand, a situation to defuse. Taking a slow breath, Willow took Buffy's hand on top of the table. "If Tara's willing, I think she should work with Dawn with the magick stuff."
"I am."
Dawn looked back and forth at Willow and Tara only to land a look of trepidation on Buffy.
Buffy raised an eyebrow. She would NOT let her mouth get in front of her brain. Mouth will listen to brain, she chanted. Slowly, Buffy's eyes studied Dawn's pleading face then Tara's confidant one and Willow's suggestive-supportive smile. Yet, it was the warm hand holding her own that sold Buffy. "Okay, BUT school and chores come first." Before Dawn could respond, Buffy tactfully added, "And punishment."
A quick comeback rested on Dawn's tongue, but she held it. "That's fair."
Silence engulfed the group again. No one dared to broach the next subject. Tara felt the tension between Giles and Willow. She saw the hawk-like look Xander gave Giles.
"Where were you going to go?" Dawn broke the silence.
So young and so brave, mused Tara as she squeezed the younger Summers' hand.
Looking around the table but never meeting Giles' gaze, Willow looked directly at Xander. "Catalpa."
"Where's that?" Buffy asked.
About to ask the same question, Tara watched the shift in Xander's face. It was an odd look for him. One Tara couldn't quite place, yet she sort of understood it. "Who is Catalpa?" Tara's heart sunk at the look in Willow's eyes. They were filled with guilt, sadness and maybe a little despair.
Casting another glance at Xander, Willow smiled weakly at him. He nodded. Willow relaxed. Pulling her hands onto her lap away from Dawn and Buffy, she studied the tablecloth. "Catalpa is my sister."
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ladydameon
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Goddess of Violence
Willow's parents were surely on drugs when they named their kids.
Whaaaa?! What an evil, evil cliffhanger! Sister?! The mind boggles. Lovin' this fic so far. Can't wait to read the next part! 
so anyway i just popped in to say i can't wait for the sequel 
. Why would she need Xander's approval to talk about her sister anyway ??
THIS IS SOOOO NOT COMPLETE it cries for a sequel at least.