Title:The Outing
Rating: PG-13 maybe a little higher, but not R rated.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon.
Part 12
Willow waited on the front steps of Stevenson for Xander. It was nice of him to offer to drive her to her parents house. She was having trouble focussing on what she was going to say to her parents. Tara's incentive was too distracting. 'Focus. How should I tell them? I'm not even sure I have options, it's pretty much just gonna have to be straight out with it,' Willow thought, 'straight out, hah.' Willow heard a car honk and looked up, it was Xander's car, but it wasn't Xander driving it was Anya.
"What are you doing here?" Willow asked climbing into the car. "Do you even have a driver's license?"
"Xander's sick, and what's a license, but a small piece of plastic. I don't need plastic to tell me I can drive," Anya said narrowly missing a passing car as she pulled back onto the road. "Where did that car come from?"
"I'm gonna die," Willow said rechecking her fastened seat belt, wishing she had a few more.
"Telling your parents won't be that hard," Anya said trying to comfort Willow.
"Thanks for your support," Willow said sarcastically.
"You don't need to be snippy," Anya said. "After all, I am doing you a favor."
"No, you're doing Xander a favor. I'm just the one paying for it," Willow snapped.
"I don't know what Tara sees in you. She should be with someone more deserving, who can make up her mind."
"What are you talking about?" Willow asked.
"I'm not supposed to ask you this, Xander said it was inappropriate, but I like Tara so I have to know," Anya said. "How are you just suddenly gay?"
"I'm not just suddenly gay," Willow said. "It was always there. I just didn't know what to do about it. I could always push it aside until I met Tara. I just couldn't make it go away."
"I don't understand. Why were you pretending? That's stupid," Anya said swerving onto the other side of the road.
"WATCH THE ROAD!" Willow yelled. "It's complicated. I was worried about a lot of things, and I just didn't want to feel those things so I just told myself that I didn't," Willow said.
"I understand now. I did that with Xander, but I couldn't help the way I felt," Anya said.
"We're having an actual conversation," Willow said, "and not arguing, and we have something in common."
"Of course I never slept with a woman because I didn't want to like Xander. You slept with Oz."
"You had to ruin it didn't you?" Willow said.
"I'm just saying you wasted a lot of time," Anya said.
"Just drive," Willow said.
"Why are you so touchy? I'm just telling the truth," Anya said. "You know I don't care who you have sex with as long as it isn't Xander."
"I don't want Xander," Willow said. 'But that's Anya with her one track mind.'
"You used to," Anya said.
"Yeah, I used to, but last time I checked Xander wasn't Tara, and she's all I want," Willow said.
"Good, because Xander's mine," Anya said pulling into the driveway of Willow's house.
"Congratulations," Willow said climbing out of the car.
"Good Luck," Anya called after her. Willow watched Anya back down the driveway and take out the mailbox before she walked up to the house. Willow tentatively opened the front door and took a step into the house she used to call home. Part of her was angry at her parents, always angry at her parents, for not giving her the attention and love she needed. That part wanted to tell them to hurt them like they had hurt her. The other part was scared to death, and hoping for nothing but the acceptance she had wanted her whole life. That dichotomy always made her feel like she was being torn apart.
"Mom," Willow called walking through the living room.
"I'm in the study," Mrs. Rosenberg called back. She found it strange her daughter wanting to visit, she rarely came home anymore.
"Hi," Willow said peeking into the study. She looked around at the shelves of books. She had taken such solace in them as a child, and still sought comfort from them when life got too hard. Now seemed like the perfect time for a good book.
"Did you want something?" Mrs. Rosenberg asked looking at her fidgety daughter.
"Yeah, is dad here? I needed to talk to both of you," Willow said playing with the hem of her shirt. "Remember I called to make sure you would both be here because it's important."
"He had a meeting or something. It was last minute," Mrs. Rosenberg said. "He said to go on without him. This isn't going to take long is it? I have some errands to run today."
"No, it shouldn't take long," Willow said dropping her head. Maybe she was more like Tara then she thought. A couple of minutes with her mother and she was reduced back to the Willow of old, unconfident and not good enough. "There's something I need to tell you."
"Go ahead," Mrs. Rosenberg said.
"Can you put the books away and look at me?" Willow asked.
"Willow I'm very busy," Mrs. Rosenberg said.
"I just need five minutes of your undivided attention," Willow said. "Please."
"Fine, what is it?" Mrs. Rosenberg said dropping her pen on the desk and removing her glasses to look at her daughter.
"I just wanted you to know I'm gay. I have a girlfriend, her name is Tara. Thanks for your time," Willow said leaving the room quickly.
"Willow, wait," Mrs. Rosenberg yelled going after her. "Why would you say that?"
"Because it's true," Willow said stopping to face her mother.
"It's college. Most everyone experiments during college. It's perfectly natural, but it doesn't mean you're gay."
"I am not experimenting. I'm in love," Willow stated firmly.
"I know you think you are, but statistics..."
"I am not some damn statistic. I didn't come here for your psychoanalysis. I came here because I'm your daughter, and I wanted you to know. I wanted you to accept this, to accept me."
"I can't," Mrs. Rosenberg said walking to her study leaving Willow standing alone in the livning room.
'Well that was fun,' Willow thought walking to Buffy's house, 'and I get to do it all again. Mrs. Summers and Giles will be more understanding. First I'm perfectly natural, then it's no way get out. At least that's what it felt like.' Willow kicked a rock as she walked. She didn't know what she expected from her mother. In a way she got more then she thought she would. For a minute she had her mother's complete attention. 'Statistics, it's alway statistics. I'm just a demographic to her. Well, who needs her,' Willow thought walking onto the porch of the Summer's home. 'I do.' Willow knocked on the front door and was thankful that Gile's answered. He cared enough to come early.
"Hello Willow," Giles said opening the door wide, "Joyce is getting the tea."
"Oh, great," Willow said coming through the door. Walking into the living room she took a seat on the sofa.
"Hi, Willow. I've got the tea. Is there anything else you need before we talk?" Joyce asked sitting the tray on the coffee table.
"No, I'm fine," Willow said. She decided standing was better and rose from her seat on the sofa. "First just let me say that I think of you guys as my surrogate parents and I really appreciate that you're taking the time to talk to me. I don't want to drag this out forever and believe me I could. I just need to say it and get it over with. You know how when you have something important to say it's always hard to say it? It's scary, but not like frog scary, that's a whole other kind of scary, it's more like going to the dentist scary."
"Willow," Giles interrupted. "You're babbling."
"Sorry," Willow said. "Here it goes. I'm dating someone new."
"That's wonderful," Joyce said standing up and hugging Willow. "Who is it?"
"See this is where it gets scary," Willow said. Taking a deep breath she continued. "Her name is Tara."
"Oh," Joyce said sitting back down.
"Yes, that's," Giles said cleaning his glasses.
"I assume it's serious," Joyce said.
"Very."
"Then it's wonderful," Joyce said. "You said her name was Tara. You'll have to bring her over for dinner and drag Buffy with you."
"Yes, I'd like to meet her as well," Giles said returning his glasses to his face.
"So you're both really okay with this?" Willow asked.
"Of course we are. There is nothing more important than your happiness," Joyce said giving Willow another hug.
"Thank-you so much. You don't know how much this means to me," Willow said rejoicing in the fact that her adoptive family was so supportive.
"I'm serious about dinner," Joyce called after Willow as she left.
"Okay, I promise I'll call and set it up," Willow said. In all the commotion with her mother she had forgotten about Tara's incentive, but having it all behind her now she remembered everything Tara said. She was already speed walking, but it didn't feel fast enough. She was contemplating breaking into a run, but she wasn't sure she wanted to run down the side walk in a skirt. Tara's full lips popped into her head and she broke into a sprint. When she finally arrived at Tara's door she was out of breath and almost too exhausted to knock. She weakly lifted her arm and rapped lightly on the door.
"That was fast," Tara said holding the door open for Willow.
"Yeah...I ...ran...back...here," Willow said taking a deep breath between every word. She walked into the room and collapsed on Tara's bed. Tara walked over to the small refridgerator and grabbed a bottle of water for Willow. After a few swigs she was breathing normally again. "I'm not in as good a shape as I thought I was."
"Why did you run?" Tara asked sitting next to Willow on the bed.
"Because you said maybe more," Willow said smiling at Tara.
"I also said later," Tara said trying to remain firm, but Willow was just too cute.
"It is later," Willow said. "I was good. I told my parents. Real and pseudo."
"How'd it go?" Tara asked trying to change the subject.
"No, play now, talk later," Willow said moving in to kiss Tara, but Tara put her hand up so Willow's face met her palm. "Hey, I want my smoochies," Willow said pouting.
"If we talk now the playing will be much better later," Tara said.
"Okay, but you better have something special planned," Willow huffed. "Like something with an R rating."
"You'll see. I want to hear all about telling your parents."
"Giles and Mrs. Summers took it great. We have to have dinner at her house, but my mom, not so good. My dad didn't even show up."
"I'm sorry," Tara said.
"I'm not. It's time to put all that behind me. I have a new family now," Willow said. "They don't have time for me anyway."
"But they're your parents."
"It's better this way."
Tara could see Willow was hurting more than she wanted to let on, but she wasn't going to force her to talk about it. Willow's day had been hard enough already, now it was time for some fun.
"Are you ready for your fun?" Tara asked.
"More then ready," Willow said.
"I've been giving it a lot thought and I'm still not ready for a lot of stuff, but I decided seeing more of you wouldn't be a bad thing so," Tara said pulling out a deck of cards, "How about a little game of strip poker?"
"Sounds good to me," Willow said licking her lips. "I'm an excellent poker player. I rarely lose. So as long as you don't mind being the only naked one, I'm game."
"I won't be," Tara said showing off her dealing skills.
"Where did you learn to do that?" Willow asked in reference to Tara's card tricks.
"I may have a little poker experience myself," Tara said wiggling her eyebrows.
"I have a feeling I'm in trouble," Willow said collecting the cards Tara dealt.
"How many do you need?" Tara asked smiling. She was perfectly capable of stacking the deck, but decided to play the first one fair so she could see how good Willow was.
"I'll take two," Willow said. She had abosolutely nothing in her hand, but was hoping she could bluff her way out of the situation. Tara laughed and handed Willow the two cards she asked for. She could tell already that Willow didn't have anything. "What?" Willow asked watching Tara watch her.
"Nothing," Tara said. "I was just thinking about how much I'm going to enjoy seeing you naked. We could save time if you just striped now."
"You're acting awfully sure of yourself," Willow said, but Tara did have a good idea.
"I never lose," Tara said. "At least not at poker."
"Okay," Willow said dropping her cards on the bed. She stood up and removed her top throwing it off to the side.
"What are you d-doing?" Tara asked. The uncertainty back in her voice.
"You're the one who said I should just strip," Willow said removing her skirt. "I'm just following orders."
"I guess I did say that," Tara said starring appreciatingly at Willow.
"This," Willow said pointing to her bra and panties, "doesn't come off until your's does." Tara stood up and removed her top and placed it on the floor. She fumbled with the button on her pants before finally removing them. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Willow said looking at Tara's nearly naked body.
"I want to," Tara said stepping closer to Willow, "but maybe just topless to start."
"Topless is good," Willow said swallowing hard as Tara stepped closer, reaching around Willow's back she undid the clasp and the garment slipped off. Willow pulled Tara in and began kissing her passionately. As they kissed Willow took the opportunity to remove Tara's bra. She was caught up in the heat of the kiss and her hands got a mind of their own. Willow's hands made their way to Tara's breasts and she was becoming aware that she was losing control. Tara hadn't failed to notice Willow's eager hands, but it felt too good and too right to stop. Reluctantly Willow pulled away.
"Is everything okay?" Tara asked afraid she did something wrong.
"Everything's fine. It's just that you feel so good I don't want to stop, and I'm afraid if I don't stop now I won't be able to," Willow said.
"I don't want to stop," Tara said looking into Willow's eyes.
"Are you sure?" Willow asked. Tara didn't answer she just started where they left off.
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'I wonder if it hurts to live- And if they have to try- And whether- could They choose between- It would not be- to die-'
Emily Dickinson
Edited by: Mainer at: 6/13/02 8:56:24 am
by Grimaldi » Sun Jun 02, 2002 3:58 pm 
* 
, I do too. More soon? 
. more soon please???
How could you end it there?! I want smut! Okay, or at least some sexy references! Jeeze!! that's just cruel!