Ok, Owl actually had to point out that this is also
cliffhangery. I didn't even notice.....So please be warned again.
Spoiler Warning - It has some spoilers up to Normal Again and you may want to read my previous story as it is set in the same universe. If you don't want to, it's ok too. Just realize that Willow is in a wheelchair and this would be set around two and a half years from start of current US season.
Feedback - Good God! Yes, please.
Disclaimer - All characters, names etc belong to ME. I am just borrowing them for this short while in order to make them do what I want for a change instead of waiting to see what happens every Tuesday.
Rating - PG
Title : Left Of Center
Chapter 7b
"This is not happening! We are
not having this conversation here! We are not talking about it now!" Buffy whispered harshly. She had been pacing up and down when Tara slowly approached her. The room they were in was strangely silent except for the beeping of the machines and the low breathing of the figure in the bed.
'He looks so pale,' Buffy thought. When Spike had carried him to the house, she was almost sure he was dead. She had steeled herself to that fact as she saw Spike carrying his inert form through the door. She could hear Tara, Dawn and Willow asking questions and getting gauze to stop the bleeding. She could hear anxious voices calling for an ambulance. There was crying as well, and she wondered if it was Dawn - huge gasping sobs that sounded like they hurt. She only realized that she was the one who was crying when Dawn wrapped her arms around her and told her that Giles was still alive. Spike had got to him in time.
It was pure luck that Spike was meeting Clem in the same vicinity. Pure luck that he recognized the Watcher on the ground, and that he was able to surprise Rack and Donny and fight them off. Later, as they waited for the ambulance, he told her that Donny looked crazed. Not like he was in a blood frenzy, but more maniacal. Donny was off his rocker. He had bitten down on Giles, but just let the blood flow after a while. He did not want to feed, only to kill. Rack was still high on Dawn's power, and Donny had gotten what he wanted, so they let him take the Watcher's body. They had underestimated the Watcher's will to live. Spike had slowed Giles's bleeding the only way he knew how - he had licked clean the wound and bound it as tightly as he could without interfering with his breathing. There was a moment where he was tempted to turn the man, but he could still hear his faint heartbeat and the echo of Dawn's tears if that happened. So he carried him to the Summers' home instead.
"
Yes we are, Buffy" Tara insisted adamantly, as she held on to the Slayer's arm. "We need to talk about this! This isn't going to stop. Donny isn't going to give up. We… I need to do something."
"Don't you think I know that? My God, he drank from Giles! He
drank from Giles!" she repeated, not wanting to believe it, but knowing that it was true. "If Spike hadn't been there…" Buffy couldn't continue that train of thought, for there would be grief and pain. What she needed now was anger. She needed to hold on to the anger. She needed the focus. It hurt too much otherwise.
"What the hell does he want?"
"Tara," Willow let the name hang there, heavy and unbidden. "He wants Tara to suffer, and he wants you out of the way." She had never wanted to utter those words, ever. But she knew they were needed. Buffy needed clarity, and Tara needed her love, so Willow wheeled her chair forward to where Buffy and Tara were standing. She wanted to provide support to her love as she knew that her words, though innocuous, would hurt her.
She had seen Tara flinch when she had uttered her name. Willow hated that so much. She hated that Donny had made that exquisite and extraordinary endearment into something so hurtful to Tara. She could feel her anger rise up - at Donny - at her ineffectualness in protecting Dawn and Giles - and at her current state of inertia. All she could do was explain a madman's motivation.
"Then I'll leave," Tara stated stubbornly. "I'll go away, and he won't have any reason to come after you"
Willow knew that Tara would say that and quelled the urge to hang on to her, to physically anchor her in this room. "It won't make a difference…us leaving. He's just going to hurt as many people that you love as he can because he knows that would hurt you the most. He knows your heart." She finished softly again, unhappy to give voice to Tara's fears, but knowing that it was necessary. Tara had told her once about how she found a small nest of Robin eggs when she was ten. She had decided to look after them and watch them hatch. However, Donny knew of Tara's fondness of animals and when he had the chance, he took the eggs and flung them off the top of the barn. He dropped each one despite his sister pleading for him to stop and promising to do his chores. That was the first time Tara realized that Donny took perverse pleasure in seeing her emotionally hurt. It never precluded him from hitting her, but most of the time, breaking her heart was better sport for him.
"I-I-I can't just stand here and do nothing, Will. You d-d-don't un-understand how this feels" Tara cried out in anguish. All the bad things that had happened recently were because of her. She could hear Donny's taunting voice, telling her it was her fault - Dawn, Giles and soon the rest. Every hurt visited on them would be due to her. He would come after them one by one, and then he would get to Willow. That was the nightmare vision that galvanized her now. She could not let that happen. It would never get that far. She had to turn away from Willow, then. She could not let the redhead see the utter and complete fear in her eyes.
It hurt Willow to see that Tara had turned away. She knew that Tara didn't mean it as a slight, and it didn't hurt because of that. It hurt because Tara did. "How can you say that? I can feel what you're feeling. I know you're hurting because I feel it too, but we can't leave." Willow tried to make her see, make her understand. This time, she did hold on to Tara's hand, her knuckles white against Tara's already pale skin. Their connection was still there, but subdued by Tara's doubts and self-recrimination and Willow's growing fear.
"Will's right, Tara. Your brother….that… that demon planned all of…" The minute Buffy said it, she realized her error. What she had inadvertently said. But it was too late. She had called that monster Tara's brother. She had accidentally drawn parallels where there should have been none.
"I-I n-need some air" Tara said as she rushed past Willow and out of the room. She had wanted Willow to hold on to her forever, but now was not the time. Things were beginning to spin out of control and it was because of her brother and because of her. She had to do something before it got any worse.
Buffy looked contrite, and Willow knew that she didn't mean anything but she had felt Tara recoil from the Slayer's statement and knew that she had to stop Tara. So she quickly maneuvered her chair towards the door, Tara's name on her lips. She had to stop her, had to make her see that they needed to be together. They were stronger together, it was a fact. It was a basic truth that could not be denied by anyone who saw them. They made each other whole, and she needed to be by Tara's side.
"Tara, wait! Please, baby. I need you to stop. Please?" She hoped that her earnest plea would get through and was relieved to see the blonde witch stop by the vending machines down the hall. But she was also heartbroken to see Tara lean against them and slowly sink to the ground, her head on her knees and her shoulder shaking with tears.
*Baby, I'm coming. I love you. Please don't cry* Willow reached out to touch the blonde. She wanted to say so much. She wanted to offer comfort and love but it all seemed so inadequate in the face of such anguish. So she settled for Tara's head in her lap as she slowly stroked her hair. They were both still together, and Donny was nowhere in sight. This was how they had to remain. That was the only thing Willow was sure of.
Tara looked up at her life. She knew Willow was trying to understand and explain the situation, but how could she ever understand? Willow had never grown up in household filled with rules and punishment. She'd never had to acknowledge a demon within, waiting to exert itself. She had never had to hide in fear and shame or cry in secret. And now, Willow could never understand that it wasn't that she was upset that Buffy had called Donny her brother, which was technically true. She was frightened. Actually, thoroughly afraid that the blood that ran in his veins also ran in hers. That his past cruelty and his insanity had only been tempered by a small shred of his humanity which prevented him from hurting her more than he had. But now, even that miniscule piece of his soul was completely gone. He was her worst nightmare. Not because he was a demon but because he was
her demon. The Demon that would manifest itself. The Demon that her father had always said would come out. The Demon that her mother had tried to protect her from all her life. When Buffy had said those words, she suddenly realized that her demon had indeed manifested itself on her twentieth birthday and then he had patiently laid in wait. Only, he had come now to exact revenge and hurt those she loved and she
had to do something now, as she didn't do anything then. She needed to end this before it could go any further. It had to end with her.
Tara slowly got to her feet. She looked at Willow, who was in her chair, trying to be brave and to offer comfort and support. She didn't want to hurt the redhead, but it was going to be necessary. A slight hurt now may save Willow's life, and that was the most important thing. It was a justifiable decision, Tara convinced herself. She would do anything to keep Willow safe.
"Will, I n-need some time…"
The statement hung in the air between them. A look of incomprehension appeared on Willow's face as she tried to divine the meaning of those words. But she had to say something… had to contain her dread and convince Tara that they had to stay together.
"Yeah… umm, sure, I mean we don't like hospitals anyway, and… and Giles is still asleep. We, uh… we could go home. Together" Willow answered nervously. She didn't like the look on Tara's face. Not one bit. It wasn't her resolve look at all, it was something more. Tara's features were set but her eyes had changed. They didn't express anything anymore, just endlessness. It was like looking into the abyss. But she could still feel Tara's love, and for that she was grateful. She just wished she could see the love reflected in her eyes as well.
"Sweetie, I need some time by myself" Tara hurried on before she could get cut off again, before she lost her nerve "It's day out already and I just want some time alone. I need to be alone for now. Allow me that. Promise me," she said as she held on to Willow's hand. "Promise me," she stated again. She knew Willow took any promises she gave seriously. She had ever since she gave up dark magic. Tara hated herself for making Willow promise, but it was the only way that she could be sure that Willow would be safe and away from her.
Willow was at a loss, and she felt so adrift. It was like her soul was pulling away from her, but at least she could still feel Tara's underlying love. She knew that Tara was only asking for some space. Not even space. Just a small gap really…. not leaving… she wasn't leaving. She just wanted Willow's promise of letting her go…just for a walk. She just wanted to go for a walk to clear her mind. That was it.
"Ok, I promise," Willow nodded reluctantly. Despite all the apprehension in her mind, she trusted Tara. However, she quickly added, "You have to promise to come back before nightfall", just in case.
With the extraction of Willow's promise, Tara kissed her on the lips, she wanted to distract Willow from her question. But she couldn't mask her feelings and it was not a passionate kiss. It was more of a bittersweet one that to Willow felt like goodbye. Willow could feel Tara's breath on her face as she pulled away and heard her faintly reply "I'll see you later, and know that I love you".
As Willow watched her lover's departing back, she wanted to shout out, to stop her but she had given her promise. One she could not, and would never break. She had done so before - broken a promise to the blonde, and she had learnt her lesson. She had suffered months without Tara by her side. Months that had felt like eternity. She was a quick study and would not repeat that mistake. So she watched as Tara walked past the automatic doors and away from her. She watched how Tara's hips swayed gently, and the way her hair moved and reflected the sun's afternoon rays. She wanted to commit her every move to memory so that she could replay them in her mind's eye as she waited for Tara's return. So intent was she in her study that she didn't hear Buffy approaching.
"Everything okay, Will?" Buffy asked hesitantly. She had seen Tara bend down to kiss Willow and then slowly walk away, leaving the redhead behind. She had felt responsible for Tara's sudden departure from Giles's room and by the look of it, Willow could not convince her to stay. She was all out of ideas about what to do next. All she could come up with over and over again was to kill Donny. But they had to find him first, and she was so very tired. The events of the past days had made her weary and worn. First, the attack on Dawn, and then Giles. She was afraid of who would be next. Which of her loved ones would she fail to protect next? But, despite that gnawing fear, she could hear Giles's voice in her head and picture him. He would take off his glasses and polish them as he informed her 'No rest for the weary, Buffy. I know you're tired but it is your duty'. She knew he was right, even if it only was her imaginary Giles, so she pressed on.
"Where did Tara go and why did she go alone?"
"She didn't want me to go with her" Willow answered miserably. "She just wanted some time by herself, she said. Buffy, I'm so scared. I don't… I don't…" Tears that she did not know she was holding back now fell. Tears for Dawn and Giles, and especially for Tara. She was crying because she knew that Tara wouldn't. Tara would just keep it inside, as crying would draw attention, and in the Maclay household, attention would get you hurt.
"Shhh… It's okay, Will, it's okay" Buffy knelt down in front of her best friend and held her, hoping that she could offer comfort.
"Anya and Xander just called. They'll be picking Dawn up from school to bring her here. You look beat, so you should just go home and wait for Tara. The doctor says we can bring Giles home as soon as he wakes up, anyway. So we can all meet there later." Willow didn't respond and just held on.
"It's going to be okay, everything is going to be okay. I promise". Buffy hoped to God she was right. Willow and Tara deserved so much more than heartache and grief - they all did. As the Slayer, she was going to do everything in her power to ensure that her promise came to pass. It lightened her heart when Willow nodded her assent to her suggestion and to her promise.
Willow knew that Buffy was trying so hard to look after all of them and ensure their safety. She didn't want to unduly worry her best friend and so made up her mind to go home and wait for Tara. She just wished that she had been able to convince Tara that they had to stay together. She could still feel Tara's presence but it seemed to be masked by the profound guilt that the blonde was carrying around with her. Maybe if she went home and meditated, their link would be clearer.
Tara really wasn't sure where she was headed after she left Willow at the hospital. It was the late afternoon and she knew Dawn would be home from school soon. Xander and Anya would have probably picked her up and taken her to see Giles. She remembered that Dawn had wanted to spend the night in the hospital yesterday. Dawn only agreed not to when both she and Willow decided to stay at home with her and send her to school the next day. The three of them then proceeded to spend the night watching a Spongebob Squarepants marathon and trying to laugh over the antics of everyone at Bikini Bottom. Eventually, they fell asleep on the sofa, Tara in the middle with Dawn's head in her lap and Willow's on her shoulder. She couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she could picture Donny biting Giles, but then Giles's face would change to Willow's and that frightened her to the core. So she remained awake listening to Willow and Dawn breathing and trying not to think of Donny and what he had done.
As she looked up, she was surprised to find herself at Willy's Place. Buffy and Willow had told her about it - about Willy and how he would be the one snitch in Sunnydale to have information about most of the demons in Sunnydale. She had laughed when Willow had said the word snitch. She had pictured Willow in a trench coat and all hard-nose Detective like. She remembered that she had proceeded to ask if Willow was going to practice her interrogation skills on her later. If memory served her right, Willow did carry out that request quite ably. She wished she could dwell on those memories, but now was not the time. She had instinctively made her way to Willy's and knew that it was too late to turn back now. So she slowly made her way inside. The place was pretty empty, a few demons like Clem were at the back booth and Willy was at the bar. She really wasn't sure what she could accomplish but she had to try. She needed to find Donny. Tara knew she wasn't Buffy and couldn't resort to threatening Willy, so she did the next best thing. She walked up to him and said politely, "Excuse me. I know you don't know me but I'm a friend of Buffy's."
At that, Willy immediately stopped cleaning the shot-glass in his hand and cringed visibly.
"Listen, I don't want any trouble." He was craning his neck to see if Buffy was going to walk through the door.
"N-no, I just want some information. I'm really not the sort to cause any trouble, believe me." Tara responded quickly. "I need to know the whereabouts of a new vampire. He has dirty blonde hair, brown eyes… speaks with a slight southern accent… Please?"
Willy was surprised at her politeness. That completely threw him. He really wondered if she really was a friend of the Slayer. Her other friends just tended to threaten him or actually beat him up. But, if it was actually true, he hoped that the Slayer could learn some manners from her.
"Yeah, yeah… I think I've seen him around. But he ain't new. Must have been coming here for about a year and a half now. Sits in the back, really sullen. And never tips."
Tara was shocked at that information. Donny had been in Sunnydale for longer than she had thought. He had been turned for some time and had just waited and planned. "Do you know where he stays? Where I can find him? I need to know," Her voice shook and she hoped her plea would not go unanswered.
Willy gave her the once over. She looked too decent to be fighting Vampires, but then so did the Slayer, the first time he saw her. Still, this one looked different. She looked like she was meant for better things. Then, he looked in her eyes. It was like looking into broken glass. She was a contradiction, but he still did not want to see her get hurt. Especially, if she knew the Slayer.
"Hey, you seem like a nice gal despite being friends with the Slayer and all… and… Well, that vampire, he ain't good news. He seems all crazy and shit." She was listening politely, so he continued. "Why don't I tell you about this new slime demon, just came into town. Not too dangerous, easy to kill. Lives in the sewer next to the Sunnydale High ruins. That vampire's not for you. Why don't you leave him to the Slayer?"
"Please, I need to know" Tara stated softly, looking directly at Willy. She hoped that would work and was glad to see that despite his misgivings, he began to scribble an address down.
Willy didn't know why he had done that. But, he got the feeling that there was more strength in the blonde that she was letting on. Perhaps she could handle the Vampire. He hoped so. But he didn't want that on his conscience, so as he gave her the address and some advice to go with it. "You don't go there by yourself, you hear? You take that Slayer with you and you let her kill him" He seemed to hesitate at first, then continued, "And for the record, tell her that her plan worked this time"
"What plan?" Tara asked distractedly as she took the address from Willy.
"You know, the plan where the Slayer sends in the polite one to get the information, and then if I don't give it, you'll turn all Xena on me. She's waiting outside right now, isn't she?"
Tara didn't know what to say. At any other time, this would have been a funny situation, and if she ever told Willow, she was sure the redhead would have laughed out loud picturing Tara all Xena-like, and in costume, no less. But she had to find Donny - had to try and end it. So she just thanked Willy and told him that he had seen through Buffy's plan. She was waiting outside for the address and would handle the Vampire. He looked pleased and wished her luck, and for good measure, again reminded her to let Buffy kill the Vampire.
As she made her way out again, she touched her necklace. She knew that Donny had most likely sent it and after they had done the warding spell, she did begin to feel better, more clear-headed. But it was a link to her mother, and she needed that. It would give her strength to do this without Willow by her side. She just hoped that that would be enough. She wanted so much to reach out and feel Willow's presence, but she knew that if she did, Willow would also be able to sense her current intent. So she clamped down on her instinct. She hoped that her fear and guilt did not seep through their connection, but knew that if it did, it would help mask her purpose for leaving. The address Willy had given her was for an abandoned warehouse just next to the train tracks.
As she neared the area, she could feel her resolve weaken, but just thinking about Willow and wanting to make her safe gave her impetus. Before she ventured further, she looked around at the scattered debris and immediately spotted what she needed. It had been part of a wooden pole at some time, but for now, it could pass as a makeshift stake. Tara still wasn't sure if Willy had really given her the right address, but then she saw the pick up truck. The one that Donny had made her father buy for him with her college fund. She remembered how her mother would diligently put away every extra penny in a cookie jar on the sideboard. She would forgo a new dress or a visit to the hairdresser so that she could put aside some money for Tara. Her mom had saved all that money in hopes that Tara could eventually go away. She would tell Tara of the growing pile of notes and coins. It represented her future. They would find a way to stop the Demon, and then Tara would be able to leave and become so much more. But when she died, her father had taken away that hope as well as the money. He had bought Donny the truck and kept the rest.
So many bad memories swirling in her mind, and now more to come. She took a deep breath as she approached the dilapidated door of the warehouse. She had to do this for Willow. If Donny truly knew her heart, then he would know that it belonged solely to the redhead. So she slowly pushed open the door and made her way inside. Again, she hoped she was doing the right thing, and that Willow would forgive her.
The interior of the warehouse was cool and dark. The air around smelled stale and the meager light from the door only allowed her to see a few feet in front of her. She knew he was inside and that she would have to leave the light in order to confront him. Her eyes were beginning to adjust, when suddenly, she could feel him. The air around her felt thicker, the atmosphere, more malevolent. He had been waiting for her all along.
Donny knew of her presence the minute she had entered the gates of the compound. He knew that she would come, and was pleased as it was exactly what he had envisaged. His sister had come alone. She had actually thought that she was strong enough to face him. He did feel some regret that she had not brought her witch with her but he knew she wouldn't and had made the appropriate plans.
"Well Tara-girl, it's about time you got here. But, I really thought you were smarter. I thought that you'd have come sooner. But I guess you're not that smart are you? I mean, I had to hurt that old man before you decided to come. You know, I was planning on taking out that pregnant bitch next. But well, you're here…" his voice, cut across her, making her shudder like it did so long ago. But that was before she had found her strength. She had changed so much since her mom's death. Leaving her father's house, coming to Sunnydale, and meeting Willow and the Scoobies had allowed her to be the person her mother had wanted her to be. Just thinking of Willow now, made her stronger and more focused on the difficult task before her.
"I-I-I'm h-h-here now" she answered, making herself stutter. She knew he would want that. He would want to feel her fear. It would make him confident and it should make him careless, she hoped. She could feel him moving closer and finally saw him standing eight feet away. But she still had to make him come closer if her plan was to work.
"W-what d-d-do you want from m-me?" she asked softly.
"Haven't you got it by now, Miss Big College Graduate? I w-w-want you to s-s-suffer." He taunted, smiling. His eyes yellow and his fangs gleaming white. He looked grotesque but still recognizable. It was as if his true face was shown at last. He took a couple of steps closer. He needed to see her hurt and anguish.
"You want to k-k-ill me - well, here I am. L-leave my f-f-friends alone," she challenged him, wanting him to come closer, to give her that chance to surprise him and end this.
"God damn it, Tara-girl. You are really stupid aren't you? I don't want to k-k-kill you. Where's the fun in that? Don't you remember Taa-raaa?" he drew her name out like he did when he used to find her hiding under the bed or in the closet and took another step towards her.
"Making you hurt was always more fun. It always made my day just hearing you cry out. Why would I want to end that?" he asked, his arms spread out as he again moved closer.
"Your pain gives me power. It sings to my soul… Well, looky, looky here. You've made me a poet," he laughed at his own joke. He was six feet away.
Realization began to dawn on Tara. Donny was insane, and he didn't want to kill her, but…Oh Goddess! She realized he would hurt her family anyway. He was going to hurt them not to get to her, but because of her. As she prepared herself, she could still hear Donny's words.
"Kill you? What a joke. All this anguish you feel. The pain. It makes me strong.
You make me strong. The blood that runs in your veins runs in mine, and I can feed off your pain and fear forever. You may have stopped my nightmares to you, but you haven't stopped your gift to me," he smiled at her and again moved closer. He wanted to see the pulse point at her throat and hear the anxious breaths.
"What?" Tara looked confused. How could he feel her pain? They were not linked, unless….the talisman! Donny had created a two-way link. He was feeding off her anguish, and she was giving him power over her and her family. Blindly, she grabbed at the thin necklace and pulled. She could feel the delicate links break and scrape her skin raw, but she had to get rid of it. So she pulled harder and flung it to the ground at his feet. He laughed at that, nearly doubling over. It was time to end this. She wrapped her palm around the stake in her jacket. She was going to make her move and end it, until his next words stopped her.
"It's okay, you know. It's not going to make a difference now. When you find her, your screams and sorrow would be so deafening, I won't need this" he picked up the talisman and held it out to her, like a trophy. He stared at her, wanting to drink in the sight as she realized his true plan. He was not disappointed. The agony etched on her face was priceless to him and he hoped he could remember every detail. The way her brow furrowed, and her eyes - especially her eyes. Wide, blue, and full of agony.
Willow. Oh Goddess, he was going after Willow. But, she was at the hospital with Buffy, and she was safe. She had to be. Tara felt so lost, she tried now to reach out to Willow but it was too late, she was too far, in body and in spirit. But they could always find each other,
always. She had to hang on to that, despite Donny's taunts.
Donny was just standing there, now 4 feet away. He wasn't going to kill her. He was going to let her go. He was going to let her find Willow, dead. But she wouldn't let that happen. She dropped the stake, turned and ran out into the evening. She could hear his laughter once again when he noticed her makeshift weapon. It was loud and maniacal, but she listened no more.
She only had one thought in her mind now. She had to find Willow, and she knew just the spell to use. She chanted as she ran, legs pumping up and down. She skidded a few times and fell once, but she didn't falter, just picked herself up and followed the light hovering in front of her. She raced through the streets with a mantra in her head. 'She's alright, she's fine, she's alright. I'll get there in time. She's fine, she'll be fine, she's okay.
She has to be.'
-----------------------------
You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall
And Death shall have no Dominion
Edited by: jomarch at: 5/9/02 1:20:40 pm
by Drakkenfyre » Sun May 05, 2002 7:59 am 
be thought to have gone back to the dark side. One of things I think Willow is going to have to suffer for the rest of her life, everyone thinking that she will go back to dark magic. Anywho......great update, looking forward to the next one. 
WOLFLORD 
for all eternity and a day after that.