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Poetry in Dog Years

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I have no clever subject

Postby bulldog tidnab » Sun Sep 29, 2002 10:06 pm

alright feedback and then some piece of shit i couldn't bear to not post. :rolleyes



infinitelight - Thank you muchly, though i often find that my rhythm feels off. Good to know someone disagrees. Yeah, I'm quite partial to the Jupiter line as well. :grin

With the 2nd poem, the air breathed through your mouth line is where it all started, so I am more than pleased that you liked it.

As for the 3rd, it was confrontational and almost stayed that way through the end, but I decided to chill out a bit on it. You know, laid back, mellow, kinda groovy. :cool I suppose I should warn you that the next one here is not nearly as comforting. Sorry.



pacou - Hee. Take all the time you need. I know I do. :grin And yes, food for thought is always good. :hmm Then again, I just like food in general....



Tara22 - Thanks darlin'. Yeah, late at night works, but I must warn you, it can cause one to be a titch slow in the mornings. :yawn



thehighpriestess - Oh dear, you didn't know of this thread? I really must fire that damn secretary of mine. Glad you liked really do hope that you stop in again. Likewise, it was nice to speak at you as well. It was scary??? :( I'm sorry dear, but really, I don't bite.... hard. :grin



Laura - Oh I have faith that you can keep up. I'm thinking I may not be able to pull off that 1/2 dozen after all.

:eyebrow Thank you for the ego padding my dear, but I'm really not amazing. I just keep finding new goads for my word-spinning ass. (at ungodly hours at that)

Of course you are forgiven. How could I not forgive my favorite dragon? That would just be wrong. Although to guarantee that it is never mentioned, I may just require potatoes at odd hours. (perhaps when the muse is operational?)

You can fit through the bars? :sigh You're such an idiot. :grin



ok and now some pointless drivel that while likely be edited at a currently undisclosed date. (oh yeah, it's a bit of a mood swing. sorry, not in the best of moods this evening)





there are words

soft enough

to put your sweet head

to rest

syllables of comfort

murmurs whispered

of solace

funny that they chose to

flee from when

i did need them the most

no matter

they would likely do us

no good

at any rate

as right now

the only sound

my heart can

allow itself to know

is the slamming

of that damn door

your parting words

still ringing in

my ears

moments ago i had

so very much to say

so very quickly

with so little thought

but it is for certain now

that it was all

wrong





*woof*







I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

bulldog tidnab
 


Re: I have no clever subject

Postby Tara22 » Mon Sep 30, 2002 4:53 am

oooo.... wow!

however slow your morning may be, you still produce this stuff, got to be doin something right....



I loved it! it was really good!!!



Quote:
the only sound

my heart can

allow itself to know

is the slamming

of that damn door






loved that line!

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you
always make me feel special. How
do you do that?





Willow: Magic

Tara22
 


Hey there!

Postby Drakkenfyre » Mon Sep 30, 2002 5:12 am

Ah my dear, I see your muse you had up late again last night. You know you really should try and get that bloody thing on a regular time schedule. ;) However, I do understand how when the muse strikes you must go with it. Now onto your poem...Let me think...Oh yes! DAMN!! Go you! I rather liked the flow to this one. It is like a tide of emotions. A gentle rolling of the tide out to sea only to have it come crashing back to shore. I love it. I am especially fond of these lines:

syllables of comfort

murmurs whispered

of solace



These are very strong lines. I can feel them and understand the meaning behind them. Lovely, my dear. Just lovely.



*Is breakfast over? Why? I think the bacon just ran out!"



The Lady Dragon

PS- I am such a nerd.

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Drakkenfyre
 


Re: Hey there!

Postby pacou » Mon Sep 30, 2002 8:38 am

Whoo! :)



Quote:
moments ago i had

so very much to say

so very quickly

with so little thought

but it is for certain now

that it was all

wrong






I loved these lines! They sound so despairing and reasonable!



Wow, that was so good! :clap Need more! Now! Now! :grin



:peace -Viv-





Well, we can answer questions.
Tara - Checkpoint

Dont dream it, be it.
Rocky Horror Picture Show

pacou
 


Re: Hey there!

Postby TheWhiz » Mon Sep 30, 2002 10:29 am

Firstly I have to say bad, bad me! I can't believe I have missed 3 (yes 3!) of your poems *hangs head in shame*:spin



However I do have a good excuse! :grin , this is the first time I've manged to get on the internet in 4 days, bloody university computers-never open!



Anyway, enough of the waffling... your poems were fantastic (if I had time, I would talk about them individually, but unfortunately I don't- sorry!). I love your style of writing, you use beautiful words & fantastic imagery. Go you!



Keep up the great work!! :D

"I am a whiz...If ever a whiz there was"


"Make your own kind of music"-Mama Cass

TheWhiz
 


Re: Hey there!

Postby ninjitsugrrl » Tue Oct 01, 2002 2:24 pm

Your latest poem is just wonderful! Such a strong start with the lines "there are words/ soft enough/ to put your sweet head/ to rest". Those lines really caught my attention and it just gets better from there! Great job. :)

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


My Homepage

ninjitsugrrl
 


Re:

Postby mollyig » Wed Oct 02, 2002 6:47 am

Well you have been a busy bulldog! I have comments on your last few poems, and now I know why having titles on poems are convenient. Maybe one day you and I will master this eh?



i'd stick jupiter - I loved how wistful the whole thing was, so fresh with that "new love" feel to it.



there are words - The gentle start to it belying the utter remorse, and then the ending having such conviction that she was in the wrong. Great stuff.



tonight I know where - I found it interesting that it ends in a prayer, and that the start is a confessional. Nicely done.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

mollyig
 


Re:

Postby TheWhiz » Wed Oct 02, 2002 10:33 am

What a great poem!

I can't believe it only took 5 minutes to write!! :grin

I loved these lines:



'the thing that makes

you beautiful to me

desired

wanted

needed

is your ability

to stand alone'



Beautifully written. Well done you! :)

"I am a whiz...If ever a whiz there was"


"Make your own kind of music"-Mama Cass

TheWhiz
 


Re:

Postby barnabasvamp » Fri Oct 04, 2002 7:09 am

Quote:
you with your thoughtful silence

gentle smile

i, with my inability to be silent,

needing to learn to let some things go

yet, it works

meant to or not

i will be yours

in so much

as you are mine




This says so much, and could be said for so many realtionships. Thank You.



BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

barnabasvamp
 


Replies and more drivel

Postby bulldog tidnab » Fri Oct 04, 2002 9:03 am

ok, so i'm finally getting around to replies. sorry it took so long. however, i am tossing in another poem for good measure. Still love me?



Tara22 - Glad you liked it. As for slow mornings, i managed to write a little somethin' somethin' this morning. let's hope it works as well as nights seem to. It's not a 5 minute poem, but it will likely do for now. :grin



Laura - Yeah, like a muse is ever on a schedule. :rolleyes although, i think i may give mine my day planner. see if it can't work something out. as always, i am pleased that you liked this one. your opinion is highly valuable to this dawg.



pacou - Yep, despairing was really what i was looking for there. glad it came across that way. thanks for continuing to read. ;)



TheWhiz - No worries. You didn't miss too much, and anyway, you're caught up now. Glad you stopped in and even happier that you liked what you found here. :)



ninjitsugrrl - ok, first off, your avatar is my favorite pic of Amber. go you! hee. sorry. i'm really glad you liked those lines, i debated whether or not i should keep them. i apparently made a good choice.



mollyig - hey lady! yes i have been a busy dawg. and yeah, i'm starting to understand the titling thing a bit too.

ISJ - i was feeling rather wistful when i wrote it. looks like that bled over a bit. hee. :grin

TAW - oh, there was much remorse and that was indeed meant to bleed into the poem.

TIKW - Nice catch! That was exactly what it was meant to be. I swear, you may just have to be my new hero. :)



BV - Well, hey there! Thank you. I'm glad you liked this. It's always nice to see a new face in here. :)



ok, that done.... let's have a bit of a poem shall we?





i can't give you anymore

you want all that i am

but how can i give you that

when i don't know fully

who i am

i may never find out

i don't want you to be here

when i finally break

tear my soul out

you can't help me

you can't stop me

these things will come to pass

i know

it is pointless to resist

my destiny will not be changed

as you plead with me

you can see me start to falter

but i stay strong

continue

my attempts

to push you away

you know it's not

what i want

no matter

how much i insist

i try one last time

the only way i know how

to make you go away

you absorb the blow

of my words

but disperse them

as defeat

overwhelms me

and i collapse

into the warmth

and safety of your embrace



*woof*





I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

bulldog tidnab
 


Reply to the extremely talented writer who wrote the drivel

Postby Tara22 » Fri Oct 04, 2002 9:05 am

Quote:
you know it's not

what i want

no matter

how much i insist






yep, yep, I'd say mornings work for you!! :D



love it!

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you
always make me feel special. How
do you do that?





Willow: Magic

Edited by: Tara22 at: 10/4/02 8:07:31 am
Tara22
 


Reply to the extremely talented writer who wrote the drivel

Postby ExtraFlameyWT » Fri Oct 04, 2002 9:47 am

Hey there! Sorry I haven't replied in a little while...but the poems have been awesome, Andi! I can't wait to read another...:)



Love,

Aimee :D

*****
"If it's good, they will stop making it."
-Herblock's Law

ExtraFlameyWT
 


Re: Reply to the extremely talented writer who wrote the dri

Postby ninjitsugrrl » Fri Oct 04, 2002 11:26 am

Beautiful poem! I love the way you set up the contrasting emotions.

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


My Homepage

ninjitsugrrl
 


Hey there!

Postby Drakkenfyre » Sat Oct 05, 2002 7:29 am

Gasp...my dear bulldog! What can I say about this poem...I don't really know.I am at loss for words. This is just wonderful. The conflicting emotions. The inner turmoil. The fight to be and the fight to be loved. Wonderful!

I was particularly struck by these lines:

as defeat

overwhelms me

and i collapse

into the warmth

and safety of your embrace



*sigh* Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.



*Woman, woman, woman!!...I go now!*

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Drakkenfyre
 


Re:

Postby mollyig » Sat Oct 05, 2002 3:17 pm

The theme I got from this was of someone believing she was unworthy of the love being offered, then finally accepting the love. Great that.



Thanks.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

mollyig
 


ok so i am bad

Postby bulldog tidnab » Sun Oct 06, 2002 9:02 am

i'll do replies to all of your lovely feedback later. poem now.



oh.... this one is a bit more uh.... risque. so, if you can be jailed where you are for reading it.... DON'T.



thanks,

the management



*woof*



I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

Edited by: bulldog tidnab at: 4/11/04 10:09 pm
bulldog tidnab
 


Re: ok so i am bad

Postby Tara22 » Sun Oct 06, 2002 9:09 am

:shock :drool



woah! you certainly are! but your poems aren't!!! wow, that was just amazing! love your imagery



Quote:
anything to keep

a sliver of control




woah... just woah...



go you!!!

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you
always make me feel special. How
do you do that?





Willow: Magic

Tara22
 


Re: ok so i am bad

Postby ninjitsugrrl » Sun Oct 06, 2002 10:00 am

Mmmm... very sexy. :wink Lovely poem!

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


My Homepage

ninjitsugrrl
 


Re: Feedback

Postby TheWhiz » Mon Oct 07, 2002 10:17 am

2 wonderful poems, very different :grin but both have wonderful imagery!

Keep up the great work.

"I am a whiz...If ever a whiz there was"


"Make your own kind of music"-Mama Cass

TheWhiz
 


Replies

Postby bulldog tidnab » Mon Oct 07, 2002 10:18 am

ok, gotta quit putting these off. Bad Dog!



Tara22 - Hee. Thanks, but I don't like mornings!:( (feel the whine there?) and you know, i think you might have gotten a bit of drool on my thread. :grin i take it the newest bit of wordage is well received then?



Aimee - Hey now! no apologies in this thread! i'm trying to keep the guilt content fairly low.:) reply whne you can dear. i'm just glad people bother at all.



ninjitsugrrl - Thank you thank you thank you. now if i could just stop eyeballing your avatar....



Laura - You at a loss for words? :shock this can not be! sorry 'bout that. :grin As always, i am more than pleased that you liked.

"You're all alike...animals! *sniff* Call me"



mollyig - as always you pick up on all the nuances. yep, you're still my hero. :)



TheWhiz - oh you snuck in! Yes, they are different. credit my muses mood swings. (wow, say that 10 times fast) Thanks. :grin



ok... done with that... barring a public execution of my muse, there will likely be something new up shortly. :pray



*woof*



edited cause: TheWhiz is verrrry sneaky





I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

Edited by: bulldog tidnab at: 10/7/02 9:21:11 am
bulldog tidnab
 


Re: Replies

Postby barnabasvamp » Mon Oct 07, 2002 10:34 am

Quote:
can i make you shiver

drawing goosebumps

across your burning flesh

where my tongue trails


:thud

Wonderful. Makes one wishful of such desire.

BV





"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

barnabasvamp
 


Well damn!

Postby bulldog tidnab » Mon Oct 07, 2002 10:42 am

I got a thud! I got a thud! that's so fuckin' cool. whoops. got a little excited there.

Yeah BV, it does make one wishful, but you know how they say that the ones who talk about it are the ones not getting it? well, i write about it. talk about wishful. *sigh*

hmmm, perhaps i've said to much... yep, that is a definite TMI... :blush



*woof*



I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

bulldog tidnab
 


Re: Well damn!

Postby mollyig » Mon Oct 07, 2002 11:03 am

Very sensuous, I especially liked this excerpt:



paper whispered words

slip deep inside you




I had an image of poetry being uttered at that moment, and found it to be most lovely!



Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

mollyig
 


Re: Well damn!

Postby funkyasian » Mon Oct 07, 2002 2:19 pm

holy sh*t - :thud - i...uhh...sorry, *wiping drool from corner of mouth*



andi - these poems are awesome...i just read all of them in one sitting (something about not wanting to be a corporate whore and give into their demands) - just amazing. so is it the water in that house that gets you cranking out such amazing words? hmmm...*checks the water in jersey* - damn...i suppose i'm gonna have to go steal some water from you guys so i can actually be semi-articulate when i write huh? :grin



again...i give you my 'wow' and pray for more soon...please??



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

funkyasian
 


Re: Well damn!

Postby ninjitsugrrl » Mon Oct 07, 2002 2:27 pm

bulldog, sorry that my avatar is so distracting to you! but the lovely amber is always distracting in the best possible way. :)

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


My Homepage

ninjitsugrrl
 


Re: Well damn!

Postby Tara22 » Mon Oct 07, 2002 4:08 pm

hehe *grins sheepishly and mops up the drool* oh...uh...sorry...



but poems still great!! :grin

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you
always make me feel special. How
do you do that?





Willow: Magic

Tara22
 


Re: Well damn!

Postby barnabasvamp » Tue Oct 08, 2002 12:32 pm

BD;

The thud was well deserved, as we previously discussed ;) .



However, not only do they say "one's that talk about it are the ones not getting it", but they (just who is they anyway? And why do we care?) also say such powerful words usually come(no pun intended :grin ) from someone with Experience.



It depends on who your telling, if it is TMI or not!

BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

barnabasvamp
 


Replies replies replies

Postby bulldog tidnab » Wed Oct 09, 2002 12:47 pm

doop dee doop... thought i'd do these, since i'm trying to write something new for y'all and i keep getting distracted. (guilt complex for not responding sooner) so.... on with the show.



mollyig - you know, that's kinda what i thought of too. and actuall, that is also my favorite set of lines. What? Do you live in my head or something? :eyebrow



Steph - And another thud! cool! sorry, but i get so excited :bounce yeah, it must be the water, explains a lot i think. :grin consider a large jug sent to you ASAP. (unless of coursethe USPS loses it, like that EVER happens.:rolleyes )



ninjitsugrrl - *stares at your avatar* :drool oh, sorry, yes distracting in a really.... good way. *goes back to stares at your avatar*



Tara22 - Bah. don't worry about the drool. it's kinda nice. adds character to the thread. :)



Jean - Hmmm... experience huh? why i don't know what on earth you mean. :whistle cause you know i am all sweetness and light. :evil and yeah, i would love to know who THEY are precisely.



ok kiddies, i am indeed working on a little somethin' somethin'. should be up later, muse-willing. :pray



*woof*





I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

bulldog tidnab
 


Re: Replies replies replies

Postby barnabasvamp » Wed Oct 09, 2002 1:00 pm

Andi sweetie...How about I have a little "talk" with that muse of yours.

Would love to see some more. :heart

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

barnabasvamp
 


Re: Replies replies replies

Postby bulldog tidnab » Wed Oct 09, 2002 1:28 pm

BV - Hmmm... what kind of "talk" do you have in mind? although i am afraid she has now gone and gotten all worked up again.

what on earth is wrong with me? Well kids meet my new and improved one-track-minded-muse. Lord, it's going to be a looooong week.













*howl*



I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

Edited by: bulldog tidnab at: 4/11/04 10:08 pm
bulldog tidnab
 

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