(AU) Java and Violins

[Zampsa1975]

Great update-y goodness... Marie really needs a good slap to her head, how in the earth she could just leave her family after what happened... I hope that Buffy soon do creative slayage to the kidnapped and brings Casey home... I also hope that Willow and Tara sat down and talk about what it means to date a huge movie star and Tara to accept that she really is dating a huge movie star and how to deal with the media...

[love_2003]

Love the story and how Willow came out. I hope they find Tara's niece and that it isn't the guy that Buffy is after that took her.

Please keep the updates coming.

[eday69]

Hi everyone, thanks for reading and the awesome feedback.

Chapter 10

Tara was woken by her niece jumping on the bed.

“Hey” Tara said groggily.

“Hi Aunt Tara, did I wake you?”

Tara laughed. “Yeah, but I needed to get up anyway.”

“Is your dad up?”

“Yeah he is in the bathroom crying.”

“What?!” Tara asked in horror and tried to scramble out of the bed.

“It’s ok, he does it a lot now.”

Tara hurried to Donnie’s bathroom door and knocked lightly.

“Donnie, you ok?”

“Um…Yeah.” He tried to make his voice sound deeper. She heard the water turn on and then he emerged with lingering effects of puffiness around his eyes, despite his attempt to get the swelling down.

“It’s gonna be ok, we’re going to find her.” Tara said and stuck out her chin.

“I know, it’s just the mornings, they are hard. Sometimes it is so hard just to get out of bed. But I know I have to for Carrie.”

“I think we need to have a talk with her.”

“Yeah I know.”

Donnie called Carrie into the kitchen while Tara made breakfast. The girl bounced into the kitchen with out a care in the world. She looked remarkably like Tara, Tara wondered if she had ever been that carefree. She remembered her childhood and shuttered at the thought of her father.

“Hi peanut. Aunt Tara and I have some things we need to talk to you about.”

Tara walked over and placed the plate of pancakes on the table and had a seat.

“You know the situation with Casey and how serious it is.”

“Yeah.” Carrie looked down at her plate and let her blond hair fall in front of her eyes.

“Hey it will be ok, we’re going to find her.” Tara said as she reached out and rubbed the girls arm.

“Oh I know, it’s just I can’t play with her for a week, but when she get’s back we will have lots of time to play.” Tara furrowed her brow at the week comment, but decided to let it go.

“Honey, I want to talk to you about mommy.” Donnie said.

“I know she isn’t coming back.” The girl said and looked at her dad. “But it’s ok Daddy. Casey will be back soon and then it will just be the three of us to have fun. Mom will be so jealous of us and all the fun we will have without her.”

“H-how did you know she wasn’t coming back?” Tara asked.

“You know how sometimes you can feel stuff and you just know something like inside your brain. When mom said she was going to the store, I knew she wasn’t. I tried to pretend that she was coming back because I thought if I pretended hard enough then it would make it true, but inside I knew she had left for good.”

Tara turned to Donnie and raised her eyebrow. Donnie shrugged then turned back to his daughter.

“So are you ok with everything?”

“Yeah, I mean it sucks, but everything will be good soon.” She turned to Tara and frowned.

“What?” Tara asked.

“Oh nothing.” Carrie said as she got up from the table and cleaned up her plate.

“Alright little miss, time for school.”

Donnie saw Carrie off to school as Tara busied herself in the kitchen.

“Donnie you really need to go to the store, you were lucky you had enough to make pancakes.”

“I know, you wanna go with me?”

“Sure.”

As they drove to the store they chatted about the weather and Tara’s living in New York.

“So your dating Willow Rosenberg.”

“Donnie!”

“No I mean, not like that, I mean she is smoking hot, but really how is it?”

“I don’t know. It is weird, before it was like it was just Willow. I didn’t even know who she was when we first met. For me she was just a girl I met. I never really thought about her being a big movie star. Then the lady on the plane had this magazine with Willow’s coming out on it. Then you.”

“Me what me?”

“Just your reaction to the whole thing. It’s a little overwhelming, I don’t know if I can do it.”

“You love her right?”

“Yeah I do, but I thought I loved Julie in the beginning.”

“She didn’t…”

“No, God no Donnie, she would never…I mean I don’t know, I thought Julie would never, and dad…”

“Speaking of things we hate to talk about. I heard from Dad. He came to the house a few months ago. I told him to get the fuck out. He looked like shit, said he had cancer, but I couldn’t let him in Tara, not with the girls there.”

“You did the right thing.”

“Tare, I am so sorry I left you with him, I just couldn’t stay.”

“Hey.” She put her hand on his arm. “You had to leave. If you hadn’t he would have beaten us both.”

“No, I could have stayed and tried to protect you.”

“Donnie you tried. You know how he was, I am just glad you got out when you did. It was just a few years then I got out too. Don’t blame yourself, one good thing, it brought us closer.” Tara gave out a weak smile. They were standing in line now with a basket full of groceries.

“Oh my God Tara, look!” Donnie was pointing at the magazine display rack, front page was a huge picture of her lip locked with Willow.

“Oh God.” Tara let out and tried to hide her face.

***---***---***
Willow returned home the next day needing to work on a project she had an idea for. She walked in and was bombarded with a petite blond.

“Where have you been? Have you heard the news?”

“I was at Tara’s, what news?”

“You are front page missy, doing a quite PG-13 act with Tara.”

“What?” Willow grabbed the magazine from Buffy.

“Oh god, Tara!” Willow picked up her cell and frantically dialed Tara.

There was no answer and it went into voicemail. “Hi Tara, it’s Willow. I hope you haven’t seen the latest tabloid. Um.. I am really sorry. I should have been more careful. Tara please call me back.”

“Buffy how could I let this happen to her. This is awful.”

“Speaking of awful. I am now officially assigned to the Maclay case. After I explained things to them like a million times they finally put two and two together and agreed that this fits my guys M.O.”

“Did you talk to Donnie?”

“I left a message, no one answered.”

***---***---***

Tara and Donnie returned home with their groceries, Tara looked down and saw Willow had left a voicemail, but she wasn’t in the mood to talk, she was suddenly very angry. Why should she have to put up with all this stuff. She always put other people feelings first, she couldn’t deal with a new relationship and Donnie’s problems and not to mention the fact her dad was dying. Donnie noticed the light flash on his answering machine and hit the play button as he put the groceries on the counter and started to unload them.

“Mr Maclay, this is Detective Summers from the FBI. I have been assigned to your case. Can you please call me immediately when you get this.”

Tara chuckled and remembered the petite blond she had met, she couldn’t picture her all FBI’ed out.

“What’s so funny?” Donnie asked as he wrote down the phone number.

“That’s Buffy, a friend of Willow’s. She looks nothing like she sounds.”

“Buffy? Weird name. A friend of Willow’s? Tara I never knew you would make so many important friends. You used to be so shy.”

“Still am, and she really isn’t a friend. I met her when she was attacking Faith.” Donnie raised his eyebrows. “Long story, maybe I’ll tell you sometime. You should call Buffy.”

After Donnie got off the phone with Buffy he came into Tara’s room.

“Hey.”

“Well Buffy seems nice.”

“Yeah I think she is, real caring.”

“She thinks it would be a good idea if Carrie and I went to New York.”

“What?”

“They think he has Casey there. Apparently he has an accomplice who kidnapped Casey, but they are pretty sure she is in New York.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow afternoon. Detective Summers said she took care of everything with Carries school and the tickets, all we have to do is pack. I guess we are coming to your neck of the woods now.”

“Neck of the woods? I guess you can take the boy out of the country…”

Tara and Donnie both smiled at each other.

“It’s good to see you smile sis, are you ok. You haven’t cracked a smile since we left the store.”

“Yeah I think I’m ok. It’s just a little overwhelming. Bad timing for..well everything. Casey, Dad, Willow. I really think I am falling in love with her. I’m just not sure I can give her my full attention with everything going on.”

“Hey, She’s not like Julie, you even said so. She doesn’t need all your attention, just talk to her I think you will realize you don’t have to be there 24/7 for her. A relationship is about being equal, I’m sure she gets that.”

[jay/wt4evr]

Hi there yippe everything's working out well!!! well, maybe the front page liplock wasn't for good, but everything's working out woo hoo!!

[Zampsa1975]

Great update-y goodness.... It's good that Tara is so good friends with Donny... I really hope that Buffy soon finds Casey's kidnapper...

Willow and Tara really need to talk about their relationship...

[eday69]

Kind of short update here, but...

Chapter 11

Willow wandered around her apartment after rehearsal. She wondered why Tara hadn’t called her yet. Maybe she was really pissed. She found her way into her computer lab and sat down and began coding, when she finally looked up it was 4am. She decided to go make herself a snack. She hadn’t been eating very well since Tara left and 4am dinner was becoming a regular habit. She came around the corner to the kitchen and jumped and squealed when she saw Buffy. Buffy hearing the squeal did the exact same.

“So much for big FBI detective huh?”

“What you come in a room screaming and I am not supposed to do the same?”

“Well you startled me, I’m used to being here all alone.”

“Well you had better get used to it, Donnie and Carrie will be here tomorrow.”

“Yeah I know, it will be nice to get some use out of those extra bedrooms.” Willow sounded a little unsure causing the FBI agent to question her.

“You insisted that they stay here, if you are having second thoughts tell me now so I can make accommodations.”

“No, no that part is fine, it’s just Tara hasn’t called me yet. I am beginning to worry that she is really upset about the airport incident.”

“I’m sure she is just busy with other things.”

“Yeah probably. I should stop thinking about myself. I always do that, and I am going to end up pushing her away. I have been thinking about quitting acting.” She looked up at Buffy unsure of what her friend would say.

“What, you love acting, why quit, why now?”

“I don’t love it, I’m just good at it. I have no passion for it. I thought that was how everyone felt about their jobs, but it’s not. I mean you, you are so passionate about finding the bad guys. Acting has always just been something I have done and it means nothing to me.”

“Are you doing this to make Tara happy.”

“No, but if we are going to have a real chance I can’t have people wandering around taking pictures of everything we do. I have been thinking about this for a while, and Tara just made me want to take that jump. You should see how passionate she is about playing the violin, it is just amazing the way she moves with the music, you can really feel it in your soul. I’m actually working on a program right now, it’s so cool Buffy. See you take…”

Willow was interrupted by her cell phone. She ran out of the kitchen and into the living room where she did a flying leap over the couch and catching her foot went head first into the coffee table. She fumbled around eventually finding the ringing phone.

“Tara!” She said completely out of breath and grimacing under the pain that was now radiating from her forehead.

“Willow! What’s wrong?” Tara could hear the pain in Willows voice.

“Oh nothing, just kinda did a face plant into the coffee table, no big. Tara I am so sorry about what happened. I should have been more careful, and definitely not done that in the airport in front of all those people. I just couldn’t help it ya know, you were there and so beautiful, but I promise that will never happen again.” She waited and held her breath for Tara to speak.

“It was a little unnerving.” Tara tried to down play her absolute terror in dating Willow.

“Tara” Willow knew the blond had been freaked.

“Ok so I was totally freaked.” Willow waiting holding her breath. “I just…I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Do what.” Willow was starting to freak out.

“I just think I need some time.”

“You wanna break up with me?” Tears started forming in the back of Willow’s eyes. She felt her heart racing, but not in a good way like when it races when she looks at Tara. In a very bad way like in a few minutes Tara would tell her she never wanted to see her again and her whole world was going to explode.

“There is just so much going on. Everything is moving so fast.”

“Tara I love you. You are everything to me. I never knew I could want something so much until I met you. I never knew my life was so meaningless until I had you by my side and suddenly everything made sense.” Willow tried one last desperate attempt to keep her world from crashing around her.

“Willow I just need some time. It’s not fair to you. I have so much going on and we really need to talk. I just don’t want to do this over the phone.”

“Time, ok time is good. I can do time. I can wait.” Willow felt a little more relaxed. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. Her hands were shaking so bad she could barely hold the phone. She took a few calming breaths.

“Willow I don’t want you to put your life on hold because I have some issues I need to deal with.”

“Tara you are my life and you take all the time you need, I will be here waiting.”

“Willow…”

“Tara do what you need to do ok. Take care of yourself.”

“Okay” Tara hung up the phone. She couldn’t believe how Willow could be so supportive of her after she had been so awful to her. Tara felt horrible, she thought she would feel better, finally putting herself first standing up for what she needed. But she didn’t feel better, she felt worse. She thought she would feel relieved that she had gotten rid of her feelings for Willow, but it only felt like she had lost part of her soul. She laid down on the bed and cried.

[jay/wt4evr]

Ok, I'm really really and very much pissed off at Tara she just can't let Willow down but hey, the story is still going on, can't wait for your next update!

[wimpy0729]

Oh, no, no, no! This is not good. Even if Tara was freaked, this is quite an over-reaction. They both just need to chill for a little while, think this stuff through and have a nice long talk. Yes, Willow needs an ice pack and Tara needs to come home soon, and I'm anxiously waiting for this much needed conversation. Soonish, please?


Wimpy

[Zampsa1975]

Great update-y goodness... Both need to calm down and sit down to talk about what's going on in their lives... Maybe good old fashioned Gay-loving is what they need

[LittleBit]

Just found this fic ... enjoying the story ... I like the idea for the characters .. please keep going!

[love_2003]

Great update.
I really admire Willow for giving Tara the time she needs. I hope Tara finds the answers she needs so she can run into Willow's arms without any emotion holding her back.

[eday69]

Chapter 12

Buffy walked in the door to find a completely drunk Willow sitting on the couch with a bottle of Makers Mark singing at the top of her lungs to Tori Amos. Buffy ran to the stereo and turned it down.

“Willow what’s going on?”

“Hey Buff, I’m getting drunk.”

“I can see that, why?”

“Well the way I figure it…hey figure that is a weird word. It is like a figure of someone like in a window or something, but then it is also thinking at the same time.” Willow slurred her words as she continued babbling. “Since I have all this money and nothing to do with it, I should just use it on making myself feel better and this does the trick.” Willow took another swig and tried to stand up, wobbling horribly. Buffy ran and tried to steady Willow.

“Willow what happened.”

“Tara dumped me.” Willow felt tears start to form in her eyes before she pushed them back. “It doesn’t matter she will come back to me, I can feel her in my soul. We are meant to be together.”

“Oh Will.” Buffy said before she pulled Willow into a hug.

“Um Buffy.”

“Shh it’s ok” Buffy tried to sooth Willow.

“No Buffy I don’t feel so good.”

“Feel all pucky?” Willow nodded. “Come on” Buffy said as she directed Willow into her enormous bathroom. Willow sat next to the toilet holding on for dear life. Buffy lay in the tub punching in information on her PDA. She didn’t want to leave Willow in case she passed out.

“Uhh, I hate puking.”

“Well you shouldn’t drink too much.”

“I know I am never going to drink again.”

“Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like throwing up anymore.”

“I hate to bring this up, but how are you feeling about Donnie and Carrie staying here?”

“I still want them too. I want to feel like I am doing something. Just because Tara hates me doesn’t mean I can’t help her family.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. What happened anyway.”

“Well I guess she is just a little overwhelmed with Casey and then the whole me being a move star and all. I don’t deserve her, she was way outta my league anyway.”

“Um Wil, you could probably get any girl you wanted. Jesus Christ, you’re Willow Rosenberg.”

”I know she is just too good, too pure, too everything for me.”

“Hey, you are a good person Wil, if she can’t see that then it’s her loss.”

“Typical best friend response.”

“Hey that’s why I’m here. Well that and to find a freakish pedophile kidnapper.”

“I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

“You going to be ok.”

“Yeah” Willow stood and tried to get her legs to function properly after sitting on the floor for an hour. “Buffy, thanks.”

“It’s no big Wil, get some rest.”

***---***---***

“Tara get up!” Donnie yelled down the hall. Tara tried to open her eyes but they just wouldn’t work. They were crusty from crying herself to sleep and they burned. She managed to open them a little to look at the clock. Once she saw the time her eyes decided to cooperate and they opened fully. They had to be at the airport in an hour and Tara hadn’t even packed yet. She ran out of the room to make her way to the bathroom and ran into Donnie.

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

“I thought you were awake, you were never one to sleep in.” Donnie shrugged.

They made it to the airport on time. As they sat waiting for their flight Donnie was talking to Carrie.

“Are you excited, you’ve never been to New York before?”

“Yeah, are you excited?”

“Um..I guess, but I’ve been there before.”

“No I meant to meet the blond girl?”

“What blond girl?”

“The one I saw in my dream.”

“Uh…sure. Hey guess where we are staying?”

“Where?”

”Willow Rosenbergs house”

“Really, I like her she seems nice.”

Tara raised her head from the book she was reading when she heard Willows name. She glared at Donnie.

“What?”

“You can’t stay there, not after what happened.”

“What just because you decide to wig out on her, doesn’t mean we can’t stay there. Besides it was already said and done before you went all crazy.”

“Well just so you know I am coming out firmly against this.”

“Willow is nice, why don’t you like her?” Carrie asked her Aunt.

“I like her just fine, there are just some grown up things that Willow and I are dealing with, and you father isn’t helping.” She said as she looked at Donnie.

“Dad can I get some candy?”

“Sure love.”

***---***---***

Willow awoke to her phone ringing. She didn’t recognize the number but thought it might be Tara so she answered.

“Hello.” As soon as she spoke her head pounded.

“Wil whats up?”

“Xander! Why are you calling? Not that it is bad, it is so very very not bad, but I thought you couldn’t call, did you break out?”

“I see they haven’t found a cure to the babbling while I have been in here.”

“Funny.”

“No I passed my first 3 months so now I get to use the phone and have visitors.”

“Really that is great.” Willow tried to sit up and did so a little too fast. “Ouch”

“What?”

“Oh just a headache.”

“Ahh I know those too well, a little too much partying last night.”

“yeah more like a pity party for one.”

“Do tell, I so miss gossip.”

“Your typical story, girl meets girl, girl dumps girl, girl throws up half her body weight in her bathroom.”

“Ahh the good old days. Really are you ok Wills?”

“Yeah I’ll be ok, she will come back. She has to, she is my soul mate.”

“Wow Willow when you fall you fall hard.”

“Yeah.” Willow looked dreamy, then came back to reality realizing Tara was no longer with her.

“Well my time is up, come visit me Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are visiting hours.”

“Count me in Xand. I’m glad you are doing better.”

“Me too Wills. Later.”

Willow heard a light knock on her door.

“Come in Buffy.”

“I didn’t know if you were awake yet or not.”

“Yeah Xander called, he gets phone privileges now.”

“That’s great, hows your head.”

“Hurty, but serves me right. I miss her Buffy. I mean I know she’s only been gone a week, and now she is coming back, but not to me. It hurts ya know…More than my head.” Willow added with a smile, she didn’t want to bring Buffy down with her too.

“Are you sure you’re ok with them staying here?”

“Yeah, I want to help. I have all these things and they mean nothing to me, the least I can do is put them to use to help other people.”

“Ok well I’m headed to the airport to pick them up. I’ll be back a little later.”

Willow watched Buffy leave and laid back down on her bed. She lay there thinking then suddenly had an idea for a program. She jumped up and made her way to her computer lab. She sat down among several computers and bookshelves. It was the one place in her home where she truly felt at home. She frantically started typing as she whipped out lines of code. She was broken from her concentration by her cell phone ringing. She looked at the phone, her eyes blurry from looking at the computer screen for hours. It was Buffy.

“Wil where are you?”

“In the lab?”

“What lab.”

“The one in my house.” Willow said confused.

“What lab in your house.”

“Oh I guess I never showed it to you, it’s upstairs next to my room.”

“Oh well I’m downstairs next to the kitchen with a few guests.”

“I’ll be right down.” Willow saved her work and ran down the stairs sliding on the hardwood floor in her socks. She stopped dead in her tracks as she looked at Donnie. She felt something tear in her chest as she stood there starring into Donnies eyes. Donnie looked down at the floor a little embarrassed by the way Willow was looking at him.

“Willow!” Buffy yelled.

Willow looked at Buffy. She raised her eyebrows signaling she should say something.

“Oh sorry. It’s just your eyes, they are the same exact color as Tara’s.” The sadness in Willows eyes wasn’t lost on Donnie. He grinned knowingly as he suck out his hand.

“I’m Donnie, and this is Carrie.” Willow shook his hand and knelt down to shake Carries

“hi Carrie, I’m Willow.”

“I liked you better as a kid.”

Willow laughed. “You know, I did too.”

“Sorry about that, she’s only seen your older movies, the others, well too adult for her. I really appreciate you letting us stay here. We won’t be any trouble.”

“Oh hey no problem. Normally it’s just me all alone, it will be nice to have company, and it is so much better than the hotel Buffy was going to have you stay in.” Willow smirked at Buffy.

“Daddy I’m tired.”

“Oh let me show you your living quarters. Please make yourselves at home.”

***---***---***

Willow stood in front of her windows looking out across the city. She wondered where Tara was, what she was doing. She heard someone come up beside her, it was Donnie.

“Get Carrie down ok, do you need anything.”

“She’s fine. Some view.”

“Yeah the real reason I bought this place.” She took a drink of her coffee. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Yeah if you have scotch that would be great.”

Willow went to the bar and made Donnie a drink. She walked back to the window and handed it to him.

“How are you doing?” She asked.

“Oh you know, ok. Trying to hold it together, for Carrie. If it wasn’t for her I think I would be a complete mess.”

“She’s beautiful.”

Donnie smirked “Yeah she looks like Tara when we were kids.”

“H-how is Tara doing?”

“She is putting on a brave front, but I know she is scared out of her mind.”

“I wish I could do more.”

“Willow you have already done enough, we are complete strangers and you are letting us into your house.”

“Not complete strangers, anyone Tara loves, I love too.”

“You really love her don’t you?”

”I do, she means everything to me. It’s like I was going through life not really living it. I wasn’t a whole person. Then I met Tara and everything changed. She knows the real me and I felt so alive and free when I was with her.” She rested her free hand against the glass and leaned in so her forehead was touching the cool glass. “I just messed up so bad, and now my life is gone.” She felt her face get hot as tears rolled down her cheeks

“Willow, Tara’s been hurt so much.”

“I know.”

“No you don’t. Whatever she told you is only half of what happened.”

“Oh God.” Willow felt her legs give at the thought of someone bringing harm to Tara. She slid down the window and sat with her back against the pane and her head in her knees. She was still holding her coffee cup, but she didn’t realize it.

“She just needs time.”

“I know, and I’m waiting. I’ll be here when she’s ready.” Willow wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “Look at me, I’m so sorry. I should be comforting you, and here you are telling me it will be alright.”

“It’s ok. So any big movie star plans tomorrow?”

“Just rehearsal, and don’t call me a movie star, I’m quitting that.”

“What no more acting? But you are so good.”

“I know, but it isn’t in my heart, I don’t have a passion for it.”

“well, I’m going to get some Z’s. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sleep well.

Willow sighed and decided to work on her code, she knew she had to go to rehearsal tomorrow, and what made it worse was she wouldn’t get to see Tara.

[jay/wt4evr]

I'm still very at Tara, ok she's been hurt, but hiding doesn't solve anything, so geez get your gril!

[love_2003]

Great update. I'm looking forward to when Willow and Tara are finally able to talk and get everything sorted out.

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for another great update-y goodness... Tara needs to get her head out of the bush and convince herself that she is allowed to love Willow and Willow really loves her...

[eday69]

Chapter 13

Donnie pulled up in a new Mustang and revved the engine as he looked over at his daughter. Carrie smiled and squirmed in her seat from excitement. Tara heard the car pull up and was standing at the door when Donnie and Carrie walked up.

“A Mustang huh?”

“Yeah Buffy has great taste, and she’s hot too, double bonus.”

“You are in a good mood.”

“I have a good feeling, so does Carrie.”

“Hi Aunt Tara. Three days and I can play with Casey again.”

“Three days? How do you know that?”

“I had a dream, like the one about Buffy.”

“You had a dream about Buffy?”

“Yeah, remember dad. I asked if you were excited to see her?” Carrie rolled her eyes at her father for not remembering their conversation. She pushed past them and walked in the house.

“Donnie this is kind of getting weird.”

“What?”

“Well first of all, Carrie knew about her mom before we even told her. She knew about Buffy even though she has never met her. And she seems to think that her and Casey will be together in three days, don’t you find that a little odd.”

“Nah, Tara you don’t have kids they have the most amazing imaginations. She probably just had a dream about and blond then saw Buffy and thought it was her.”

“Do you want some coffee?”

“What is with you New Yorkers and coffee.” He remembered Willow drinking coffee at midnight last night. “No I’m good.”

“I’m sorry you can’t stay with me, you still could you know.”

“Yeah me and Carrie sleeping on your couch, much better than having our own rooms in a mansion.” Tara looked down, she felt a little left out.

“So what’s up for today?”

“Well Buffy said she would call if anything came up, so I guess some sight seeing. You know Buffy’s really cool. She has this guy profiled and she is really smart too, I’m glad she is on this case.”

***---***---***
Tara and Donnie sat on a bench watching Carrie play on the playground equipment.

“I’m going to go see dad.”

“What? Tara no you can’t, why?”

“Donnie what if he really is dying?”

“So, good riddance.”

“There are some things I need to say to him before he goes.”

“Then I’m going with you.”

“No you have to stay here. I’ll be fine. This is just something I have to do.”

Donnie sighed. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“He can’t hurt us anymore.”

“Why do you want to bring up all the hurt from the past?”

“I can’t get past some things Donnie. I need some type of closure. I don’t know if seeing him will be that closure, but I have to try. I have to try for Willow and me, if we are ever going to have a chance, I need to work things out. But more importantly I am doing this for me. I need to do this to be whole again.”

“If I never see that son-of-a-bitch again…” Donnie stopped as Carrie sauntered over.

“Ready do go pumpkin?”

“Yeah are we going to Willow’s?”

Tara closed her eyes at the sound of Willows name.

“Yeah, we’ll go back and have some dinner ok?”

“How is Willow?” Tara asked.

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

“The truth?”

“Donnie?” Tara gave him a serious look.

“Like shit.” Tara let her gaze fall to the ground as they walked. “I mean I didn’t know her before, but when we talked that night on the computer, she seemed so happy and alive. There is something missing now, I don’t think she sleeps much either.” Donnie knew what he was saying would effect Tara, he hoped it would cause her to come to her senses. “So drop you off at home?”

“No I need to go to the rehearsal hall and talk to some people.”

***---***---***

As Tara walked up to the theater she could hear the sound of Willow’s voice. She opened the door and slid in trying to be unnoticed in the shadows.

Willow felt something different in the air. Something comforting, she stopped and put her hand up to the light to see if she could see something. She saw a figure in the back, she could see her face but she knew it was Tara. She could see Tara’s curves in the shadows and her hair as it hung down around her shoulders. She remembered what it was like to run her fingers through the long silky terress, she groaned and looked down at the stage.

“Willow, what’s wrong?” Oz yelled through the intercom. Willow tried to open her mouth but nothing would come out. She looked up again at the figure in the back. Oz followed her gaze and noticed Tara. “Ok everyone let’s take a break.”

Tara made her way up to Oz, when she looked back at the stage Willow was gone. “Hey Tara, how is everything?”

“Um…fine, I just came to tell you I can’t finish the play.”

“What?”

“I just have some personal things going on…I just can’t dedicate the time to this.”

”But Tara you are the best, the show can’t be what it is supposed to be with out you.”

“I am sure Dawn will be fine, she’s really good. Oz I’m sorry…I just can’t.” Oz saw the painful look on Tara’s face and decided not to push the issue.

“Ok, just know the part is always yours if you want to come back.”

“You are really sweet Oz, I’m going to talk to Dawn and Faith.”

Oz sat back and rubbed his temples with his fingers. Willow walked up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“She isn’t coming back is she?”

“No, you knew?”

“No, but I had a feeling. She’s going through so much I didn’t think she would have the energy to have this on her plate either.”

“So you guys are…” Oz raised his eyebrows.

“No, we went out a few times, she is amazing, but I messed everything up. True Rosenberg style. You just have no idea how it is to love someone who doesn’t feel the same.”

“I think I do.”

“Really, who?” Oz nodded toward where Tara, Dawn and Faith were standing. “Not Dawn, Oz she’s like 18.”

“No not Dawn.”

“Well not Tara, you can’t love Tara. I mean you can, actually who wouldn’t, she is so wonderful, a goddess, but she is mine, not mine really, but you just can’t.”

“Willow, it’s not Tara.”

“What? Faith?” Oz nodded. “You can’t be serious, Faith! But she’s so…well…you know.”

“I know, but there is something underneath it all. It’s just hard to explain, but I just feel it.”

“Actually I do know what you are talking about.” The two sat in a love induced haze and just sighed.


“You really should talk to Red T.”

“Faith I can’t.”

“She’s been a mess since you left Tara.” Dawn chimed in.

“Don’t you think I know that! Why can’t it be about me for once, what I’m feeling.”

“Hey T, we’re sorry. It’s just we haven’t seen you so we don’t know what’s going on.”

“It’s just, everything was moving so fast. You know, it was all so surreal, it just felt like Julie all over again.”

“You don’t think you deserve to have something happy in your life with out it turning to shit.” Faith said it as more of a statement than a question.

“I never have. Every time something starts out good, it just ends up hurting me later. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Hey T, it’s ok. You need to take care of yourself first. We’re just worried about you ok.”

“I know. You going to be ok with the lead Dawn?”

“yeah, I mean I’m not as good as you. I think I will be ok.” Dawn left out the part that Willow’s soliloquy hadn’t been anywhere near as good as it was when she and Tara had performed.

[jay/wt4evr]

oooh dibs

[Zampsa1975]

Great update-y goodness... Willow and Tara really need to sit down and talk... Willow need to talk Tara about her quitting acting to be with Tara... and Tara needs to come to terms with her past and tell Willow what happened to her in the past...

[eday69]

Hi Everyone, thanks for reading and great replies.

Chapter 14

Willow arrived home late when she entered she saw two flushed faces in front of her, Buffy straitening out her shirt and Donnie looking down at the floor with a blush. Willow smiled.

“Hey guys what cha doing?”

“Nothing.” They both said at the same time and looked at each other, blushed then looked down at the floor. Willow kept smiling; it was just too cute to see them all flustered. Willow decided to leave them alone for now, but fully intended to get all the details from Buffy later.

Willow walked into her study and dialed the phone.

“Giles, it’s Willow.”

“Hi Willow, how’s the play going?” Willows manager asked.

“Good, actually now that you bring that up, I think it going to be my last acting gig.”

“Willow, what?”

“You know my heart isn’t in it. I just think it’s time I quit. I have been thinking about it for a while, I need to have a real life.”

“I know Willow, you know I wish you the best.” Giles was the closest thing Willow had to a father. A gush of relief went through her, Giles understood. “Take care and keep in touch Willow.”

“I will Giles and thank you for everything.”

***---***---***

Buffy found her way to Willow’s lab, she had never been that far down the hall to know there was actually another room. She smiled when she saw Willow slumped over a pile of papers her hand still clutching the mouse on the computer.

“Willow.” Buffy said quietly, but not quietly enough. Willow jumped up a paper still stuck to the side of her face causing Buffy to giggle.

“That’s right scare me out of my mind then laugh.” Willow pouted as she pulled the paper from her face.

“So this is the lab huh?” Buffy looked around the huge space, monitors, sticky notes and computer parts littered the mahogany desk. “Kind of been like a second bedroom lately right?”

“Um..yeah I guess, I was just working on this program and it’s really important, well to me and I guess I just fell asleep.” Buffy looked at her friend. Red rimmed Willow’s eyes and deep black ran under her eyes. Willow looked skinnier and paler.

“Wil, you look like shit.”

“Thanks Buffy, good morning to you.” Willow rubbed her face and sighed deeply.

“No, I just mean, you’re not taking care of yourself. You hardly eat or sleep, you never go out.”

“Hey I am busy, I’m doing the play and I have work here that I want to do. You don’t understand. I had a life, Tara, she was my life. I fucked that up, I quit acting, this is all I have.” Willow had tears in her eyes as she pointed at the computers. “I have a huge penthouse apartment, that I live in all alone. Not really living though since Tara left she took my heart with her. I’m just a shell. I love her so much Buffy, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Willow was now balling in Buffy’s shoulder.

“Shhh Wil, it’s going to be ok.” Buffy couldn’t even convince herself of that, but she didn’t know what else to say. Willow was a wreck, and Buffy had no idea what to do.

Willow finally pulled back from Buffy wiping the tears from her face. Buffy reached up and cupped Willow’s head, brushing tears away with her thumb.

“Look at me Wil, we are going to get through this ok?” Willow nodded. “And why didn’t you tell me you quit acting.”

“Well I told you I was gonna.” Willow whined like a little kid.

“I know, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.”

“Yeah I called Giles last night, Thursday night’s the last night I am going to be acting. You’re coming right?”

“Of course I will be there Wil. Actually that’s what I came in to talk to you about. Donnie asked me to dinner tonight, but we need someone to watch Carrie. We would ask Tara, but she’s not going to be around, and since you are the only person either of us know in New York, well…”

“Sure Buf, a I don’t have rehearsal so I’m free.”

“Thanks, Wil, so wanna go down and see what Donnie and Carrie are up to for today?”

“Sure Buf.”


Donnie had been walking in the hall when he heard Willow’s outburst. He listened up until Willow started crying. It was too much for him and he went down to the living room. That’s where Willow and Buffy found him.
“Hey you.” He said when he saw Buffy. “..two” He added as he saw Willow behind her.

“So what are you guys up to today?” Willow asked trying to sound perky.

“Well, nothing special, just going to Central Park, statue of liberty, you know typical New York stuff. Just waiting on Carrie, you know women never on time.” Donnie smirked, as Buffy gave him a playful slap on the arm. Just then Carrie came from around the corner. “Ready Peanut?” Donnie asked.

“Yeah. Willow?”

“Yeah Carrie?” Willow said as she knelt down so she was eye level with the girl.

“Don’t worry, things are going to work out.”

“Thanks Sweetie.” Willow said as she ruffled Carries hair. Willow didn’t know why but she actually believed the little girl.


Donnie and Carrie stopped off at Tara’s house before they hit the town.

“I’m going to go see Dad, he’s in a hospice in Chicago.” Donnie frowned at Tara’s words.

“I just don’t understand why you have to see that bastard.”

“Donnie it’s just something that I have to do.”

“I know, I know, I never want to see him ever again.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him.” Tara smirked, and Donnie smiled back.

“Tara, I need to talk to you…about Willow.”

“What about her?” Tara asked afraid of what Donnie might say.

“You need to let her know one way or the other how you feel about her.”

“What?”

“I don’t think it’s fair to Willow. If there isn’t a chance, just let her know, she might have a chance then.”

“What? I just needed time, time to think, time for myself. With dad and Casey, it’s not fair to her or me to go into a relationship right now. Why are you saying this?”

“I can’t stand seeing her like this Tara.”

“Donnie, I can’t believe this. You’ve know her, what, a week?”

“It’s not like that Tara. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Willow is broken. God even Carrie can see it. I over heard Willow talking to Buffy about you, and oh my God Tara.”

“What?” Tara was on the verge of tears. Hearing about Willow being broken was almost too much. She didn’t want to ever hurt Willow, but it wasn’t fair of her to try and keep a relationship when she couldn’t fully commit to it.

“I have never heard anyone speak like that about another person. She loves you so much, she thinks she did something wrong, that she fucked up and that’s why you ran. For God sakes Tara she quit acting for you.”

“What? I-I didn’t ask for that. I just can’t do this right now.”

“Then tell her it’s over. Give her her life back. I don’t know if she has one with out you, but give her a chance.”

“I love her.” It was all Tara could say, she couldn’t think anymore, she could only feel, and that’s what she felt. Donnie grabbed Tara in a huge hug.

“Then tell her, hurry up and tell her.”

[Zampsa1975]

Great update-y goodness... Tara really needs to go to Willow and tell her that she loves her and her senseless... Willow needs to tell Tara the reasons for quitting her acting career...

[jay/wt4evr]

wooops I missed dibs *pout*
ok now, either Tara is gonna tell Willow she loves her, or she'll be facing a very pissed off me!!! go-Ta-ra-get-Wil-low
oh and Buffy/Donnie god it really suits them

[love_2003]

Good place to stop. Makes me want to come back for more and more. Keep those updates coming.

[eday69]

Hi Everyone, thanks for the feedback. It has inspired me so here is Chapter 15.

Chapter 15

Tara took the afternoon flight from New York to Chicago that night. As she sat on the plane listening to soothing music Willow had put on her iPod the previous flight, Buffy was narrowing in on him.

Tara arrived at the hospice where her father was staying. It was rundown, ran mostly by volunteer workers and received little money from the state. She walked up to the receptionist.

“Donald MaClay.” The receptionist looked from her magazine at a list on a clipboard and thumbed through the papers.

“Room 175.” She said never looking up at Tara. Tara said her thanks and made her way down the hall. She stopped before she reached the door. Her palms were sweating, and her pulse raced. She took a few deep breaths. Tara gained new confidence by saying Willows name in her head. She rounded the doorway and knocked lightly as she entered the room. He looked nothing like she remembered; he was frail and looked so weak.

“Tara.” He managed to get out through in a strained whisper.

“Father.” She said as each of them looked at the other, not knowing what to say.

“What are you doing here?” Donald said as he eyed his daughter.

“I need to say a few things, get some closure before…”

“Before I die?”

“Yes.”

“I tried to get your shit of a brother to help me, but that bastard told me to get lost and I end up in here. You kids were never grateful for what I gave you.”

“Shut up! I’m not here to listen to you talk.”

“Well then out with it girl.” His tone was one Tara remembered from her childhood. But now rather than scare her, she only felt sympathy for the frail man.

“You know, I spent a lot of time hating you. What you did to Donnie and me, no one should ever have to go through that.”

“You got what you deserved. Living that sinful lifestyle. Donnie betrayed me, he could have been a great man, if he had only listened to me, but I put him in his place didn’t I.”

“Shut up! You don’t get to talk, not anymore.” Tara’s tone was hard and her eyes like ice. Donald just sank back into his bed.

“I thought by coming here I could get some closure, tell you how much you hurt me. But now that I’m here, I don’t need that. You don’t get to have that. I have a good life Father. I have someone who loves me and who I love back and that’s something that you are never going to have. You can’t hurt me anymore, and despite everything you put me through, I’m happy.”

“Yeah, happy living your sick disgusting lifestyle. You will burn in hell for this Tara.”

“See you there.” Tara said with a smirk as she turned and walked out the door.

“Get back here girl! I’m still your father.” She heard him yell as she walked down the hall toward the exit.


***---***---***

“And then we went to Central Park, and it was so much fun, dad said we could go back.” Carrie said as she bounced up and down on the bar stool. Willow stood on the other side of the counter making them dinner. It felt nice to take care of the girl, it made her feel useful.

“Maybe you and Casey and your dad will all go when she gets back.”

“Yeah it’s just hard waiting.”

“I know what you mean.” Willow quickly thought about Tara until Carrie began talking again.

“You know it’s all going to work out, right? You really like my aunt huh?”

“I do, she is the most beautiful person I know, she just has this spirit inside her that is so wonderfully amazing.” Willow cocked her head to one side. “Kinda like you kiddo.”

“Really? You think I’m beautiful.” Carrie quizzically asked.

“Of course, silly. Now let’s eat and then go play some games.”

Willow and Carrie finished dinner and went into Carries room for a game of Chutes and Ladders. Willow was feeling better than she had in a long time. Maybe it was because she actually ate a real mean for once, but part of her knew it was the little girl that she had grown to love.

Willow rolled a 3 and quickly did the math she would land on a chute.

“Re-roll, the dice fell off the board.” Willow said as she quickly grabbed the dice in her hand.

“No way that is total cheating.” Carrie said as she picked up Willow’s piece and slowly moved the piece 3 squares forward then quickly shot the piece down the chute. “Ok my roll.” She said as she stuck out her hand toward the redhead.

“Nu-huh.” Willow said shaking her head and holding the dice close to her chest. She smirked at Carrie.

Carrie similarly smirked back then made a flying leap for Willows hand. She managed to grab it while simultaneously ticking Willows side until her hand opened. Carrie grabbed the dice and ran for the door. Willow followed a few steps behind as they ran down the hall toward the living room. Willow saw the gap beginning to widen between her and the little girl. She decided to fake an injury to lure the girl back toward her. Willow threw herself on the floor doing her best acting yet and faked an ankle injury.

“Ow.” Willow yelled as she clutched her ankle with her hands. Carrie, believing Willow was hurt, made her way and knelt down next to the redhead.

“Willow are you ok?”

Willow smiled. “Gocha squirt.” Willow rolled to her side and grabbed a laughing Carrie and pulled her over. Willow began to mercilessly tickle Carrie while Carried tried desperately to get away. Both girls laughing and screaming didn’t hear the front door open. Tara stood and looked at the site of her niece and her love having a tickle fight on the living room floor. Her heart leapt in her throat and she could barely breathe. She had never seen Willow so carefree and happy. Carrie was the first to look up.

“Tara!” She squealed and ran toward her aunt.

“Hi Carrie.” She said as she knelt down and enveloped her niece in a hug. She looked over Carries shoulder to see Willow quickly get up and look at the floor as she straightened her clothes. Tara released Carrie and stood and looked at Willow. “Sorry for barging in, um I knocked. I heard noises so I thought it would be ok…”

“No Tara its fine, really.” Willow finally made eye contact with the blond. She saw love, concern and a little fear in the blue eyes before her. It was intense, and she felt herself falling under Tara’s spell. She turned to look away.

“So is Donnie here?”

“No, he and Buffy sort of went out on a date.” The redhead blushed and finally met the blonds gaze.

“Kind of?”

“Yeah, I guess a date, or dinner ya know whatever.” Willow stumbled through her words as they came flying out of her mouth by passing what little was left of her brain.

“Oh I didn’t know they were…”

“Oh me neither. I sort of walked in on them, they won’t admit it, but it’s a date.” Willow smiled at Tara and received one back.

“Aunt Tara, come watch Wizard of Oz with us.” The younger blond said from on the couch. Tara looked over at Willow silently asking if it was ok.

“Please.” Willow said as she held out her arm toward the couch.

Both women sat at opposite ends of the couch with Carrie in between them. Neither one paying attention as Dorothy skipped down the yellow brick road. Tara looked over at Willow who had her gaze fixed on the TV. Donnie was right she did look like crap. Her normally white smooth skin, was pale and lifeless. If at all possible the color of her hair had changed as well. Gone were the golden highlights, replaced with a dull red as if someone had sandblasted her hair. The dark circles under her eyes told Tara she hadn't been sleeping and from the look of it hadn't been eating as well. Guilt washed through Taras body. She was the cause of Willows pain. She had fixed things with her father and felt better than she had in a long time, so what was preventing her from running into the redheads arms and begging forgiveness. She wasn't sure, maybe they had moved too fast, but one thing was for sure, she was madly in love with the broken woman who sat on the other side of the couch. She vowed then to fix it.

Willow had noticed Tara staring at her. Carrie had dozed off in between the two with her head on Willow's lap. Willow sighed, as much as she wanted to take Tara in her arms, she knew the blond needed time.

"I guess I should put the squirt to bed." Willow said as she looked down at Carrie and ran her fingers through the young girls hair.

"Yeah, can I come too?"

"Sure." Willow looked at Tara and gave her a genuine smile. Tara's heart melted when she saw Willow smile. Willow slowly woke Carrie and helped her stand up and escorted her to her room, Tara silently following. Willow turned down the covers and neatly tucked Carrie in. She turned out the light before quietly whispering "Good night Carrie."

"Good night Aunt Willow. Night Aunt Tara." Carrie said and was quickly off in a peaceful slumber.

Willow felt tears roll down her face when Carrie called her Aunt Willow. She had never had a family to care for, or to care for her, it felt good even if it wasn't real. Willow quickly wiped her tears with her sleeve and turned to see Tara standing in the door.

"Would you like some coffee or something?" Willow shyly asked. "Donnie and Buffy should be back soon and we need to give them the 3rd degree." Willow added with a smile. Trying hard to prevent Tara from returning home and leaving her alone.

"Coffee sounds good." Tara said as they made their way to the kitchen.

"So you saw you dad?" Willow said as she started to make the coffee.

"Yeah."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I know it must have been difficult."

Tara smiled. "You know Willow, you are about the only person in the world that I would want to talk about it with." Willow beamed at Tara's confession. "It was good, I got my closure, or whatever you want to call it. You know it's like I went there expecting something, and it turned out to be completely different. But a good different. Thanks." She said as Willow handed her a steamy cup of the coffee. "He was awful to us Willow, especially after mom died. I went there wanting to tell him how much he hurt me, but I ended up telling him what a great life I have and how he has no control over me anymore. It was sort of like washing my hands of the whole thing. It felt good." Willow nodded glad to at least have Tara talking to her. Willow looked down into her coffee.

"I like this, just us talking." She admitted.

"I do too, and I promise Willow I'm going to fix this. Fix us." Willow raised an eyebrow at this new revelation. "I just got so scared. I have a lot of issues to deal with. I'm scared to death that I'm not going to be enough for you." Willow started to protest, but Tara held up her hand and Willow allowed her to continue. "It happened with Julie. We were in love, or so I thought, then I wasn't enough for her and she started drinking again. I tried to give her everything that I had, but that just pushed her even farther. I had to do a lot of rebuilding after that. And I am so scared that is going to happen again."

"Tara a relationship isn't about you giving everything to the other person. It's two people giving everything to each other as equals. I'll wait however long it takes for you to be comfortable with that." Tara smiled between the tears that had slowly started to fall. The door slowly opened to reveal Donnie and Buffy.

"Hey I didn't think anyone would be up." Donnie quietly said. "Hey sis, glad to see you're back. How was dad? Did he hurt you?"

"No he can't do that anymore. It was good Donnie I got what I went there for." Willow had taken Buffy into the living room to chat.

"So you and Donnie?" She said raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, we are taking things slow. We both agree these aren't the best circumstances to get together, but neither of us can deny the attraction we feel. I just hope I can find him before anything happens to Casey. Well I'm gonna say good night to Donnie and Tara."

Willow and Buffy made their way back to the kitchen were Donnie and Buffy left to go to bed.

"You can crash here if you want; I still have an extra room." Willow offered to Tara.

"As much as I would love that, I really need to go home." Tara said as she took Willows hand and rubbed her thumb along Willows palm. Willow closed her eyes at the touch and held back a moan.

"Ok." Willow managed to get out as Tara walked them both to the door. "Are you going to come to the play tomorrow night? You wouldn't want to miss my last acting performance would you?"

"Yeah we need to talk about that.” Tara frowned. “But I'll be there. Good night Willow, I do love you, you have to believe that."

"I do, and I love you too." Willow said as she closed the door.

[jay/wt4evr]

yeah re-got my dibs
and YIPPEEE things are going to work out
god I sooo hope nothing will happen during willow's last act

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for another great update-y goodness... Good that Tara got closure from her father, and started to talk again to Willow...

Good that Buffy and Donny find some happyness...

[eday69]

Chapter 16

Opening day arrived and much to Oz’s pleasure, and Willow’s dismay; there were a heard of reporters outside the play house.

“Well this totally sucks.” Willow said to herself as she drove her car around the block. Willow parked her car several blocks away and made her way toward the play house. It was already starting to get dark which made searching for a door that much harder. She rounded a corner and thought she saw the outline of a door. As she approached she realized it was a door, but without a handle. She tried to stick her fingers through the small opening between the door and the doorframe only managing to move the door a fraction of an inch. Willow thought to herself as she tried to search the ground for something like a crowbar. Willow gently stuck her car key in the crevice and put the slightest bit of pressure on it and *Snap*. The key broke in half.

“Fuck!” Willow said as she stared at half of her car key. Willow was almost ready to face the reporters when she saw a window on the second floor. It looked like it was open a crack.

Willow found a dumpster and quickly made her way on top of it. She stood on the end of the dumpster and held one hand around a rain gutter while the other stretched out barely reaching the window. She tried to shove it up, and only ended up moving it a few inches, but she knew it wasn’t locked. She repeated the process until she had the window raised about a foot from the sill. She went back to a full stance on the dumpster contemplating her next move. She quickly deduced if she could jump up and grab on the window sill she could climb in. She made the leap and landed with her arms in the window. Willow tried to use her arms to lift herself in, only to realize her leg was caught on something. She tried to pull her leg free only to feel a sharp pain like something was cutting her. She thought as she struggled to hold herself up on the window. As she was about to let go of the window sill and let whatever happen, happen, she heard the door below her open.

“Hey could I get a little help here?” Willow yelled to whoever had opened the door. She heard a gasp, apparently she had startled whoever was standing below her.

“Willow?” Tara’s voice came from below.

“Tara?!” Willow said still not believing it was her.

“What in God’s name are you doing?” Tara said as she let out a laugh at the redhead who was half in, half out of the window.

“Um..I’ll explain later, can you just help me before my arms give out? I think my leg is caught on something.”

Tara climbed up onto the dumpster and found Willow’s pant leg firmly attached around a piece of metal along the drain pipe.

“I’m gonna have to tear your pants.”

“That’s fine.” Willows voice struggled as she tried to hold herself on the window. Tara tore Willow’s pants and Willow felt her leg come free and quickly pulled herself the rest of the way into the window. She ungracefully fell to the floor and grabbed her ankle where it had been caught on the drain. She grimaced as she felt blood on her fingers. She glanced around, she seemed to be in the attic of the play house.

Tara burst into the door allowing light to come into the room. It was a typical attic, costumes and props littered the walls and floor. She saw Willow struggling to get up from the floor.

"Oh my God Willow are you ok?" Concern written on Tara's face as she helped Willow up from the floor.

"Yeah, just a little blood."

"Blood? Come on let's get you cleaned up." Tara said as she took Willow by the arm and escorted her through the door and down the stairs. They entered the music room, where, presumably the door Willow was trying to get in was located. People were milling around talking and warming up. There was a buzz in the room, a silent excitement that hung heavy in the air. Willow felt it permeate her soul and wrap around her heart. She felt an adrenaline rush and then felt a happy contentment. She looked at Tara.

"Is it like this every time you play?"

"More, that's just the tip. When I play for you Willow, it's so much more intense." Tara led Willow to an empty room where she pulled out a first aid kit. "Ok put your leg up and let's have a look." Willow sat in a chair and placed her leg on the desk in front of her. Tara pulled up Willows pant leg to reveal a 2 inch cut above her ankle. It had bleed so much Willow's sock was now stained in blood. Willow watched silently as Tara cleaned her up with an alcohol swab. The blond's movements were precise and gentle. The thought made Willow think that Tara would be such a beautiful mother. Tara noticed Willow's silence and decided to break it.

"So you wanna tell me why you are hanging out of a second story window 2 hours before the play?"

"Not really, it's rather embarrassing."

"More embarrassing than actually seeing you hanging out of a window?" Tara said as she raised an eyebrow.

"Probably not. Well there were a bunch of reporters outside the main entrance, so I thought I would sneak in a back way. I couldn't get in that door from the outside so I thought the window was my next best option." She left out the part where she broke her key in the door, there was only so much embarrassment she could take in one sitting.

"It didn't occur to you to ...I don't know...knock on the door?"

"Well no." Willow looked down in embarrassment. "I wasn't sure where it went, or if anyone was behind it." Willow said in her own defense.

"Ok I'll let you off the hook this time." Tara said as she smiled and finished the bandage on Willow's leg.

"What are you doing here so early?"

"Thought I would stop by and see how the pit was doing with out me."

"Well you're here so you should play tonight." Willow said hopefully.

"I would love to, but Dawn has worked so hard for this. It just wouldn't be fair." Willow knew Tara's compassionate nature would never allow her to take something away from someone else.

"Well I need to get to wardrobe. You'll be watching right?"

"Of Course."

Willow sat in make up, thanking God that this was the last time she would have to do this. One of the stage hands walked up behind her.

"Miss Rosenberg?"

"Yes?"

"There is a reporter outside who really want's to meet you."

"Yeah I bet."

"Normally I wouldn't ask this, but she seems really nice and desperately wants an interview."

"Ok send her in." Willow was trapped and she knew it. Stuck in an uncomfortable chair, being forced to answer questions she didn't want to. She noticed the woman walk into the room on the mirror in front of her. She was attractive, very attractive. Willow thought of Tara. She couldn't even compare the two. Tara was like a goddess, while this woman, while gorgeous was just a model look alike. Willow then thought to herself, she was definitely not in the same league as Tara. How could she ever expect to get Tara back when she herself wasn't even classified on the same planet with the goddess. Just when she was throwing another world class pity party the woman came over to her.

"Miss Rosenberg?"

"Please call me Willow, have a seat."

"It is so good to meet you, I am a huge fan of your work. My name is Julie."

[Zampsa1975]

Great update-y goodness... Not the psycho-Julie... I hope she doesn't mess things up between Willow & Tara... I really hope that Julie isn't behind the kidnapping thing... If she is, could Buffy soon put her out her misery pleeease

[jay/wt4evr]

Oh my god not that psyco not now not ever not.....
let's get her in jail before anyone gets hurt
even better let's cancel her from this story pwetty pweaseeeee

[LittleBit]

Sorry I've been MIA .. but I loved the updates. I like this twist with the story (julie the reporter), please keep the updates coming!

[eday69]

Sorry it's been like forever since I have posted, but thanks all for reading.

Chapter 17

Willow quickly went into actress mode. It was as if she was on auto pilot answering questions smiling doing the whole actress-y thing.

"So rumor has it that you and Tara MaClay have a thing going on?" That was the question that broke Willow out of her autopilot.

"What? Where did you hear that? How do you know her name?" Willow's patience was wearing thin, she didn't need another thing to scare off the blond.

"It wasn't hard, there is a picture of you sucking her face at the airport. The press has it's sources." Julie calmly said.

"I...uh..." Willow wasn't sure how to answer the question. Were they just friends. She said that once before and it hadn't worked out so well. But to say anything else she just wasn't sure. She didn't want people snooping around in Tara's life. Fortunately for her, she didn't have to answer the question. Julie saw Faith out of the corner of her eye.

"Well I really do need to go, it was really great meeting you Willow." Julie said and made a hasty retreat before Faith could spot her.

The play opened to a sold out crowd. Most were there to see Willow Rosenberg's last performance. Oz had tried on many occasions to convince Willow to at least do the Friday and Saturday night shows, but her mind was made up. Willow stood behind the curtain, sure she would miss this, a little, but she had a life to live now and nothing was going to stop her from that. She scanned the crowd to find Tara, she saw Donnie, Buffy and Carrie sitting front row, but no sign of Tara. She sighed, she had hoped to lock eyes with the blond and feel the jolt of happiness she always had when she looked at her.

Everything was perfect as the play opened. Willow was brilliant and the pit sounded wonderful. Willow sat behind the curtain waiting to step on the stage for her soliloquy. She heard the opening bars of the song Dawn played as background music, only it wasn't Dawn. Willow knew immediately that it was Tara playing. A familiar warmth engulfed her soul as she got tears in her eyes and tried to calm herself down so she could do her part. After what only seemed like seconds it was her cue to head out to the stage. She began her soliloquy, still unable to see the blond in the pit because of her position on the stage. She felt everything fall away as she spoke the lines she had been trained to. Only she wasn't acting, this was Willow, speaking from the heart. She made her way around the stage to lock eyes with the most beautiful person she had ever known. Tara sat in the pit with tears in her eyes as she played her violin with such passion and reverence. In the back of Willow's mind a mantra chanted "Don't look at the pit, look at the audience." Over and over again. With everything she had, she tore her gaze away from her love and looked at Donnie, Carrie and Buffy. They had huge smiles plastered on their faces, it was difficult for Willow not to smirk at their obvious involvement in the whole charade, but she stayed in character. Tara's music surrounded her, gave her hope and meaning to her life. In that very moment Willow thought the world was perfect.

Buffy noticed the flashing light on her PDA indicating an incoming call. She wasn't going to miss this however and continued listening to Willow's soliloquy. The lights went dim and Tara's playing faded out. The theater erupted in a thunderous applause, but Willow didn't hear it as she made her way back stage with a huge smile plastered on her face.

Buffy looked at her PDA and indicated to Donnie she needed to go. She slowly made her way from the theater and jumped in her truck.

It was difficult to say the least for Willow to keep in character after her and Tara's performance. Willow was supposed to be a broken, frail woman, but it was so not what she was feeling. She couldn't wait for it to be over and to get some alone time with the gorgeous blond. Willow was almost off of the stage when she was tackled by a energetic little girl.

"You were great Aunt Willow." Carrie beamed.

"Thanks squirt, I couldn't have done it without you guys here." She said as she looked up at Donnie.

"It really was wonderful Willow." Donnie said as he picked up Carrie. "Buffy had to take off, you know top secret FBI business and all."

"So you guys knew all along huh? Why didn't you tell me kiddo?" Willow asked Carrie.

"It was a secret, and you never tell a secret right dad."

"Right."

"Well would you two like to escort a retiring actress to her dressing room?"

"Of course milady." Donnie said as he stuck out an arm for Willow to grab on. Carrie laughed and did the same. They made their way to the dressing room, only being mildly bombarded with well wishers. As they entered they were assaulted with the smell of roses which seemed to be coming out of the walls, cards and other gifts littered the room.

"Wow." Carrie exclaimed as here eyes widened and she scanned the room. Willow was much in the same boat. Her eyes came to rest on two figures that looked out of place in a huge field of flowers. Dawn and Faith stood in the room holding some roses.

"Bout time you got here Red, we've been standing here forever."

"It's good to see you too Faith." Willow said as she gave Faith a hug. Faith was a little taken back by Willow's sudden comforting, after their rocky start she wasn't sure what type of relationship she would have with the redhead. She was sure of it now. Faith stepped back and allowed Willow to go to Dawn. "Dawn, I can't believe you let Tara have the solo."

"Yeah well it's nothing. Plus I am going to have many more times to perform it anyway."

"Thank you so much." Willow said as she engulfed the girl in a huge hug.

"I make sacrifices for the arts, you guys are beautiful together." Dawn said as she had her breath hugged out of her.

"Well, let's let Willow change and meet her at the party." Donnie said as all four of them made their way out of the dressing room.

Willow sat down. It seemed like everything was moving so fast, she barely had time to breath. She looked around at all the gifts, it was all so beautiful, but she was glad it was over. She decided she better get changed so she could find Tara. A knock interrupted her thoughts and she made her way to the door to reveal.

"Tara."