alright.. finished proofing part 11 so here goes...
our girls go away for a little mini-vacation and sex talk ensues! nothing graphic...
enjoy!
It Ain't Fickle Part 11
by luciddream
“So are you telling me you have the hots for the hottie across the way?” Ted had such a way with words.
“Don’t call her a ‘hottie’. I mean she is hot, but coming from you it’s wrong. Besides, you are off the market. Don’t be calling other women ‘hotties’.” Willow teased.
“Boy Willow, you better go find out what she heard or overheard at the coffeehouse.” Ted needlessly informed her.
“Duh, that is the first thing I’m going to do tomorrow. I can’t stand this not knowing either.”
Willow was woken up by Ted who was grabbing her foot which was sticking out from under the blanket. “Willow! Wake up! Tara’s leaving her apartment!”
“What time is it?” Willow asked in a slumbering stupor. “I don’t know but I heard her as I was getting dressed. Go talk to her!”
In Willow’s half-awake brain, nothing mattered more than getting to the door before Tara left. She didn’t want to have to wait all day to talk to her. It didn’t matter that she was in her orange flannel sheep boxers and purple Radiohead tanktop either.
“Tara!” yelled Willow a bit too loudly for 6:03 a.m. Tara was just heading to the stairs when she heard Willow’s sleep heavy voice call her name. She started to turn around and make some excuse about being late for something when she saw what state Willow’s hair was in. Not to mention her sleep attire. Tara couldn’t help but giggle. A word came to Tara’s mind unbidden- adorable. Willow was adorable. ‘Where did that come from?’ wondered Tara.
“Listen, I.. was worried when you took off yesterday. Did you.. I mean…” Willow wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. “Find out you were gay?” Tara shifted her shoulder bag to the ground and crossed her arms in front of her. “I overheard ‘Claire was it?’ talk about you and how she’s still hung up on you.” Tara took a deep breath. “Willow, why didn’t you tell me? I mean not that it should matter. It doesn’t, but that is a pretty big detail to not know about a best friend.”
“Best friend? You consider me your best friend?” ‘Wow’, thought Willow.
Tara began to backtrack. She’d never used that term before now.
“Well, definitely a good friend.” Tara was getting a little flustered.
Willow sighed and looked into Tara’s eyes. “Oh. Well, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I was waiting for a good time, I guess. I was a little afraid of what you’d think.” Willow continued. “I know you don’t ‘get’ it and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Now I realize I should have told you.”
At that Willow looked down at herself. ‘Oh my God, I came out to talk to her in this?’ Tara obviously knew what Willow was looking at. She smirked at her disheveled friend. “Radiohead is a great band, isn’t it?”
Things seemed to settle down after they talked a bit more that day. They promised to be honest with each other from here on out. Tara still decided to ask Willow to go to the beach with her. Willow had agreed and offered to get her own room but Tara wouldn’t hear of it.
“I’m not scared of you, Willow”, Tara said. “I want you to be able to tell me anything. You already know my pathetic life story.” Tara said with a rueful smile.
‘You are anything but pathetic,’ thought Willow.
“Thanks for offering to drive,” Tara said as she looked in Willow’s CD collection. She had been all set to borrow Martha’s car, but Willow told her she could drive them. It was only an hour or so drive.
Tara grinned when she found the CD she wanted. She figured she would find it in Willow’s collection. “Oh! I love this one!” cried Willow when the first song on The Bends CD started to play. “This was my first Radiohead CD. I was instantly hooked,” informed Tara. “Me too!” said Willow.
They drove on in silence, both listening to Tom York belt out the songs on the CD. They also seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. It was comfortable to both of them, the silence. They were getting to the stage where there were few awkward moments. Both seemed happy to just be in each other’s presence.
Tara had been debating with herself whether to ask Willow about Claire. She was genuinely curious about Willow’s life, but didn’t want herself or Willow to feel uncomfortable talking about it. She decided to just bite the bullet and ask.
“Willow, if I may ask, what happened between you and Claire?” Willow’s eyes darted from the road to Tara momentarily. ‘I didn’t expect her to want to know,” thought Willow. “Do you want the whole story or why we broke up?” asked Willow.
“You don’t mind talking about it?” asked Tara. ‘You kind of put her on the spot, Maclay.’
“No, not at all.” Willow didn’t mind, but she was a little nervous. She figured she would leave out some of the details.
“Well, then the whole story, I guess,” said Tara as she leaned forward to turn down the radio.
Willow told her how she and Claire had started out friends and their relationship grew from there. It was both of the girls’ first time, so it was pretty awkward. Willow also said a bit of alcohol was involved too. Willow had regretted that, but she wasn’t sure she would have gone through with it otherwise. Once she did, she knew there was no turning back for her. She’d dated a couple of boys before and it just didn’t compare emotionally, mentally or physically.
It was good with Claire for a while Willow had said. The emotional high of finally finding out what was missing in her life. Being with women was what Willow wanted. It was like a lifelong question finally being answered and Willow had confused that with being in love. Her and Claire had finally broken up when Willow couldn’t lie to herself or Claire anymore.
Tara sat quietly through the whole story. She was somewhat envious of Willow finding who she was at a pretty young age. Tara still felt like she had a big question to be answered. ‘A few actually’, she smiled to her self. Like, what was sex like? What was it like to wake up with someone? Tara had kissed boys, but it was never anything serious. Just messing around. The past couple of years there had been very little thought of dating because of how much she was ‘needed’ at the house. She began to get a little angry at her father for some of the stuff she missed when she was a teen. ‘Too late now’, thought Tara.
Willow was worried. Tara had been quiet during the whole story. She wanted to know what the blonde was thinking. “Tara?” Willow looked at her with questioning eyes. “I’m sorry, kinda got lost in thought. I appreciate you sharing all of that with me. You’re kind of lucky, you know,” stated Tara. “How so?” asked Willow. “Well, at least you’ve had the opportunity to be in a relationship that wasn’t bad or unhealthy. Even though she wasn’t right for you. You have experience. I don’t at all.”
Tara looked out at the window at the passing yellow hills. The trees were scarce and under each one lay a couple of cows. It was a sunny, clear blue day. “You will one day, Tara,” remarked Willow, breaking Tara out of her reverie. She looked at Willow and smiled.
They arrived at the hotel a bit before noon and decided to go have lunch at one of the beach side cafes. “About what I told you, did I freak you out?” asked Willow. She was picking at her fries and going on about beach trips with her family and she noticed Tara was being a bit quiet.
“No, Willow. It’s just… I’m trying to understand it all. I guess I just have nothing to go by. And not just about the preferring women part.” Tara looked up from her sandwich at Willow, squinting against the sun. “Well, if you have questions Tara, don’t be afraid to ask me. I am an open book.” She smiled at that. Ted has called her that on more than one occasion. “Thanks, Willow. I might take you up on that offer.”
They spent the rest of the daylight browsing shops and people watching. They’d decided it was too cold yet to don bathing suits and lay out at the beach. When night fell, they changed into jeans and sweatshirts and went to a little hole in the wall place Tara had frequented when she’d come down with her brother some years before. She wondered where he was at that moment.
“Whatcha thinking about?” asked Willow, sensing Tara’s pensive mood. “My brother. I haven’t heard from in a while.” Tara had told Willow about her brother’s ‘problem’. She had been the only one she’d confided in. Willow had felt incredibly honored too, for Tara to have that trust in her.
“Tara, not to sound like an alarmist, but, have you checked with the police, hospitals?” Willow said this gently, hoping not to upset Tara. Of course, Tara had tried all these places already. “If you want, when we get back, I’ll help you look for him.” Tara smiled warmly at Willow and placed her hand over Willow’s. “Thanks.”
Dinner had been a nice quiet and fun affair with both women sharing some memorable moments in school and summer jobs from hell. They ordered a couple of drinks each during dinner and as they were walking back to the hotel they realized they were tipsy. “I’m such a light weight,” giggled Tara as she fumbled with the door key. “Gosh, me too. I didn’t used to be, but after I started taking the harder classes, I had to cut way back on drinking and partying.” “How much did you party?” Asked Tara.
She was a bit surprised Willow did any of that at all. “Well, it wasn’t that often. Ted would usually drag me out a few times a month. I did build up some sort of tolerance. But I’m out of practice now.” Willow said as she stumbled on the threshold of the door. Tara caught her and they both started giggling like little school girls.
They both took turns in the bathroom and got ready for bed. They flipped a coin to see who would get which bed, but they both ended up on one talking. “Were you serious about me asking you questions?” asked Tara as she sat against the headboard knees drawn to her chest. She had on some men’s pajama pants and a v-neck t-shirt. Willow had forgone the orange and purple ensemble from last week and opted for some plaid boxers and an old school baseball shirt. She was laying on her side facing Tara.
“Of course I was serious. Ask away.” Said Willow as she reached behind her and pulled out a pillow to lay her head on. Tara was nervous to ask, but admittedly curious about the whole sex thing and what was different between sex with men and sex with women. What was it about women that Willow preferred? She didn’t want Willow to think the wrong thing or get a mixed message from her, but she wanted to understand. After finding out Willow was gay, Tara had been a little more cognizant about what she said. She was more self-conscious too. Tara couldn’t quite put her finger on why though.
Willow thought Tara would have questions and she was ready to answer them. But Willow knew that with each passing day, it was becoming clearer and clearer she was falling for Tara. Willow knew soon she would say something or do something to give that away. Question was: How would Tara react? Sometimes Willow thought she picked up vibes from Tara, but it might just be wishful thinking. There was one thing Willow was sure of though, she and Tara have a wonderful friendship starting and she’d be stupid to jeopardize it. For now, Willow was happy to be Tara’s best friend.
Tara cleared her throat. ‘Here goes,’ she thought. “How… is it different? Sex, I mean…between, you know… with a man…woman…” Tara hoped to God she did not have to repeat herself. “Oh..um… well..” Breath Willow… pretend its Ted you are talking to. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to”, Tara said in a rush. ‘Stupid Tara, stupid!’
Willow wasn’t expecting that one! She sat up and cleared her throat as well. ‘Is it hot in here?’ “No, I don’t mind. I’d be curious too.” Willow said in way of making Tara comfortable in asking. Willow thought for a moment on how to word this.
“Well, I’ve only had sex with two guys and one girl, so I’m not Miss Knowledgable on the subject. This is purely just my opinion. So.. here goes…” Willow mimicked Tara’s position and leaned against the headboard. Tara adjusted herself so she could face Willow a bit better. Willow once again cleared her throat.
“My first, first time was with a guy as you probably figured out. It was awkward and over in like 2 minutes. It was weird and didn’t feel all that good. It was all about him. You think that experience alone would have sent me to the other team.” Willow giggled at that and after a second Tara got her meaning and giggled too.
“The second guy I was actually dating a few months. It was pleasant, but not earth shattering. He was gentle and attentive but I kept thinking to myself, is this it? Is this all there is? I figured there was something wrong with me. Our relationship lasted about six months or so.”
“Then there was Claire. Remember, we were a bit drunk and that made us a bit more uninhibited. However, that did not have any affect on what I felt when I was with her for the first time. I remember pretty much every detail.” At that statement, Tara shifted a bit. Was she having second thoughts about hearing all of this? Willow decided to continue. ‘She’d stop me if she was getting uncomfortable.’ Thought Willow.
“When we first kissed, it was electric and calming all at the same time. That kiss alone was better than any sex I’d had up til then.” Willow was getting caught up in remembering that night. Feelings came flooding back to her. Not necessarily of Claire, but of the way Willow felt touching a woman for the first time. Tara was mesmerized by Willow’s way of describing what it was like.
“Her body was so soft. The curve of her hips and breasts. It was weird, like our hearts knew exactly what to do, even if our brains didn’t. We spent hours that night exploring, talking, telling each other what we liked, guiding, laughing. It was amazing. I knew I would never be with a guy again.”
It wasn’t what Willow said, but how she said it that affected Tara. Watching Willow describe sex with a woman stirred something inside Tara. And it terrified her.
ok...must go catch up! 
by zero » Wed Aug 07, 2002 9:50 am 
and I'm glad that Tara let him have it 
Love the development between W/T...so cute. It's good that Tara left home and how convenient to live next door to Willow 
But Tara has Willow to help get through it!! 
Aly xxxx