On Second Thought

[tillowara]

... ... ... ...

It is almost unfathomable to me that I just discovered this archive yesterday afternoon...I wanted to read the entire thing before I replied. I wanted to be like a sponge and just...soak it all in, letting it drip everywhere and cause lovely messes...

...so i finished it this morning and now i try to remember everything that touched me somewhere deep inside...and please believe me when i tell you there was alot...alot of spot on humorous stuff, alot of sweet stuff, alot of erotic and sensual stuff, just alot of profound dealings...but by now, you have to know that you are supremely bless-ed with the ability to convey emotion...you are talented beyond belief with capturing the essential selfness of character...your writing is, to put it as succinctly as possible, magickal...I felt like I was one of the yellow petals floating...I wished...well, you know how when you like stumble upon a fantastic bit of writing, with the amazing wordplay, expert displays of emotion, a simultaneous grasping of the physical and mental, just a wonderfull peek at something already so beautiful that it is almost impossible to believe that anything could touch it, then there you go and I can only "order more face" for the smile I'm holding in regards to what you've gone and added...and you find all of this in a book, or screenplay, or poem or haiku, or fanfiction, and its like, you just wish that world you are reading about, those characters you are so deeply invested in, were real, so you could figure out a way to be friends with them...this is how I felt reading your fanfiction and its a rare feeling to feel so utterly a) transfixed b)transported c)transplanted d) all above the above...I just don't know which one is most accurate, so I take d) all of the above for all the sweetgrass...(ps...on the downlow...I feel bad for Chris for wanting to be with a spirit like Tara, even though my heart ripped right alongside Willow's...I still feel bad for the girl...Taras just don't fall from trees very often)



...so I'm just wishing that you had been a staff writer on Buffy...then TPTB would have just handed you the Willow/Tara storylines and let you have at it...as good as they were for the most part and that means trying to find the shiny happy places in season 6, which as we all know WAS SO UNBELIEVABLY DIFFICULT (Ok I saw "Seeing Red/Villains" last night on FX and I still feel a bit traumatized and i know I have to get over it eventually, but dammit that shit still hurts like a thousand daggers in my belly...(you know what's weird, Willow has completely changed my vocabulary, like I'll never think of the word belly w/o thinking of Willow kissing Tara and saying "pancakes in bellies."...you know what I mean? yeah, I know you do.



so I ran a marathon around the bush just to say that I have a thorough appreciation of what you do and how you manage to do it...one writer to another, both of us with gigs to put money in pocket...I seriously hope you are about to be published somewhere because I am now amongst the millions of fans you have in this world. :



be good in all you do,

take care

[Mack the Slayer]

This is really an amazing piece of fanfiction and a definite must read for other fans. I've only read up until the end of Part 2 and I can't wait for the rest. It's angst then sweet then erotica and everything in between. I especially love the jealousy that Willow shows at the Bronze, it's great! Can't wait till read the rest...I'm sure I'll post another reply then!

[Mack the Slayer]

here is my official standing ovation. That was an awesome piece of fanfiction...well it's more like art really. You nailed the characters emotions and feelings perfectly. I especially love the WillowBabble, it was really well done. I hope to read more by you! Keep writing because I know you'll have plenty of willing readers!

[sapphocrazygirl]

have been reading and re-reading for months. this IS the fic. it is all the beautiful elements of buffy solidified.



nice, nice, very nice.



saph.

---

"I got my axe, I got my honey...I'd say all I need is a quiet room and some body lotion and I've got me a party!"

- Faith, in Torturing Touch

[pipsberg]

I completely agree. This is by far one of the best W/T story lines as well as the hotest in terms of chemistry. I've read them all, but I find myself coming back to this fic over and over again. I really hope you'll write more AntigoneUnbound. I love your work!

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[umgaynow]

OK...I just read parts 1 & 2...oh my...and all I can say is I am in awe...not something I say lightly...pardon while I drop to my knees and worship you...ooops that may have sounded a little different than intended, but then I did just finish reading part 2



At any rate I am truly impressed...I really hope someone, somewhere is publishing some work of yours...if not, then they should be...the only word I can think of to accurately describe your writing would be VISCERAL...it's as though you had reached through the screen and attached some sort of futuristic electrode thingy to my brain (wow, is it me or did that sound a little Willow-ish?) to make me fully experience every feeling and sensation that Willow and Tara are going through...it is a rare talent to do that not with just the hot steamy scenes but with the emotion and angsty stuff as well...and I have NEVER seen sex scenes so well and so classily written that are still so incredibly searingly hot...I don't think I have a drop of moisture left in my mouth...hmmm, where could it have gone?



BRAVA!!



I really look forward to reading the rest of this and any other pieces you may write (although read the W & T "List" challenge...undoubtedly the hottest thing I had ever read up until then and it made me go searching for more of your work) I am sooooo glad I didn't find this fic until it was finished...cuz if I had to wait for updates I think I'd explode or something...and believe me when I say...it takes a lot to make me this effusive...this is most certainly well-deserved and sincerest praise

[photographer02]

I find this story interesting! =)



Just asking, is there any site that has this story? Because I wish to print it out as one of my Buffy's reading collection...so, could anybody help me?



photographer02

[WillowRTaraM1]

Mary you really have an incredible talent for writing Willow and Tara.. nevermind the rest of the Scoobies! I just can't say enough about this fic... the angst and the heartbreak...along with the romance..and the killer comedic lines... It was just so great.. it was just amazingly written.

Edited by: Warduke at: 5/20/04 8:24 am

[hin768]

fantastic fic...



i read it pretty much in one sitting and ...wow...you really got the voices of every character down pat.



can't wait to read more of your stuff

[Pokey Doodle]

I've been reading this off and on for a few days. Now that I've finished it I couldn't not leave a response. That was... amazing! You are a fantastic writer! One that I definitely will check out again. In fact, I think I will go search for some of your other stuff and start readin' tonight!



Thank you!

"Happiness is like a cloud, if you stare at it long enough, it evaporates." [Sarah McLachlan]

[sapphicpoet]

I read this fic in about two days, it was one of the best I've read on the board. I liked the plot twists and the dialogue, it was entertaining and convincing and just overall amazing! Thanks for a great fic...



~Sapphic

"Humanity is measured by the soul, not the flesh." ~ Layla

[sapphocrazygirl]

I keep a copy of this on my hard drive, for those moments of desperation when I cannot access the internet.



Today, as I was gleefully reading over that FANTASTIC first sex scene, my laptop abruptly and completely shut down, which it has never done before.



I hit the power button, only to be greeted by this message: "The hard drive has overheated and must be shut down."



Congradulations, you have successfully turned on my computer.

---

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: 'Hi, can't work today, still queer.'"

- The New York Times

[GayNow]

Ah, Mary...so wonderful.

I seem to be doing this feedback thing in the wrong order. LOL I actually read OST months ago when some folks in chat insisted that it's easily one of the top 10 stories in all of BtVS fanficdom. And I gotta say, they were so right! I loved it then, but I was still rather new and wasn't really confident with the feedbacking...so I didn't leave any. For that, I'm sorry. But I'm not so shy anymore. So, let me leave some now.

I just reread this story. I started it today at work when I was bored (thank all dieties in existence for computer illiterate bosses who have no idea what I do on my computer) and finished it up at home. It reads even more beautifully the second time around. It's amazing how differently we read when we don't have to worry about things like plot and "what's going to happen next." I didn't have to concentrate on keeping parts of the storyline straight because I knew those already. Instead, I could focus on the words, the language. And you have such a command of the language, Mary. So beautiful. I could feel every word.

I won't go into great detail here on characterization since I did that for GS&A (see? wrong order). But I will say this: I love this Buffy! You and I seem to be of the same mind (along with others) that the Buffy of Season 4 -- the "I'm your best friend, but I'm totally not going to do anything best friendly" Buffy -- just doesn't cut it. They did such an injustice to her in that season. Yes, I understand the "coming together" of all the Scoobies to defeat Adam. But did they really need to put in a rift to accomplish that? I don't think so. Your Buffy is the Buffy that should have been. The Buffy who welcomed Tara to the "family" from the get go and NOT the Buffy who didn't know what to get Tara for her birthday. Well done.

Thank you for indulging me as I traipse through your fics in random fashion. I did read them in order -- watson insisted -- I'm just not responding to them in order. But, as I've said many times, I'm not a very linear person.

Great stuff, Mary.

Carleen

[Darth Pacula]

G'day, Mary.

I just finished reading this delectable little tale of yours, and figured I'd whack in my own two cents. You rock! Not terribly eloquent perhaps, but true none the less.

It was interesting to see Oz's evolution, and gradual slide into being a villain. It's a pity, since I like him ( I like almost everyone on the show though ) but it's understandable given what happened to him. Though it was his choice to succumb to his darker desires.

I'm a bit ambivalent about chipping him though. What amounts to mind control seems a tad on morally shaky ground. I mean what happens if that werewolf hunter Cain comes gunning for poor old dog boy again? He'd be royally shafted since he wouldn't even be able to defend himself. It's not like every single human being doesn't have the capacity for evil inside us, but none of us get chipped. But Oz gets the sharp end of the stick, simply because his dark side comes complete with claws, fangs and a knack for evisceration.

Anyhoo, great read. I really enjoyed it.

Bye,
Paul.

[GayNow]

I read it again, Mary.

Fuck this is good stuff!

[Candleshoe]

Oh, I loved this. And I actually cried at the end. Kinda embarassing in the office, but what else could I do when faced with such amazing stuff?

And I have discovered my new life-mantra:

That’s a ‘yes’ to petals; a ‘no’ to pricks.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I love re-reading this fic...i just finished what i think was about my dozenth time through, and it's still fabulous(tho by now i have been and pieces memorized ), and now i'm re-reading Gods Served and Abandoned... i can't get enough of your stories!!!!!!!you should start a new one soon

[GayNow]

And, yes, one more time with the reading.

If I weren't so in love with my girlfriend, I'd ask you to marry me...just so you could write stories for me all the time.

Carleen

[Thianne]

Apparently Car loves this story so much that she almost forced me to re-read it

not that i had to be forced, of course. i really liked it the first time i read it and i still like it now. but she suggested that i read it again cause she quoted a passage of GS&A and i didn't recognize the fic *rolls eyes*

so she told me to read your stories again. and here i am.

that said, the first time i read this it was probably on ezboard and i was still a lurker, so that's why i didn't leave feedback. but now that i'm not a lurker anymore....well this story is beautiful. i love the stories in which Oz is the bad guy, cause in my mind he is, after NMR

i'm a bit childish and vengeful when i want to *chuckles*

i also love the relationship between Willow and Tara, it's real and so tender it makes me want to melt (and envy them like crazy, of course )

i also love how supportive buffy is, a true friend (not like stupid Xander and his "i turned you gay" speech) and i have to say i love your Anya! you've captured her perfectly and the way she interacted with Tara...a thing of beauty, really.

another think i adored was your Giles' sense of humor! oh my god! so....blunt, where on the show he was reserved and so...british.

so, to conclude, i absolutely loved this story, again, and i'm afraid i'll have to thank Car

H&K

[PancakesinBellies]

Oh wow. Being a (relatively) new kitty I haven't read this before, but I must say that I'm blown away. This is incredibly beautiful, and very high on my list of Most-well-written-fics-I've-read. Thank you so much.

Also, Oz is a tool. Thanks for noticing.

[GayNow]

Yep, read it again. And still loved it.

So, I'm not in love with my girlfriend anymore...don't have a girlfriend anymore...haven't talked to her in about 8 months.

Now that there's nothing standing in my way....

Mary, will you marry me so you can write stories for me all the time?

[Guest]

Hello AntigoneUnbound,

I just finished this story and it transposed me completely into that reality of crude antipathy felt at the time when Tara's death on the series was so fresh - I have often thought that fiction writing on these themes does help us with the dealing of our emotions (as far as the viewing of the show is concerned) in a more effective way. Though the initial nausea I used to feel at the mere mention of Oz's name has largely dissipated over time, this fic was a good way of legitimising these past feelings and actually interpreting these same feelings in a different way now.

Thank you for writing it,

Vi'

[Shadowygirl]

I sat here reading this in my free time over the last few days , I must say this was a lovely fic , Different then anything I had ever read before .

Your Giles was wonderful , some of the comments that came from him were wonderful and I could totally see that happening on the show which was awesome .

You kept the cast alive and real , which was great , they were slightly different but not totally , I loved that , you took them and made the best of them unlike what Joss did , NOT That I hate Joss because I don't even one seems to bitch about him but if it wasn't for him we wouldn't have had Willow and Tara in the first place , so kudos to him !

But you did a wonderful job I must say so myself , you took the always calm and cool Oz and made him the animal we all knew he could be .
You took the shy Tara and made her open up alot fast then Joss did, you made Buffy a good friend which we all knew she could always be , Xander was still the same asshole Xander which fit and Anya was perfect ! ...

anyhow what I am trying to say here was this was wonderful , Loved the fic , and I never usally leave much feedback so that means I really liked it ! great job ..


April

[restlessminds]

One of the first fics I ever read and still one of the best.

Love it, thank you.

[lonelylanding]

that was one of the best fics that I have ever read. I know that it ended 8 years ago but I just wanted to tell you how awesome that was i really enjoyed it

[LonelyTara]

I'm throwing my two cents in. Brilliant, brilliant story. I loved how you shaped things from sorrow and regret to passion to humor so seamlessly. When Giles told Xander to kiss him I thought I would die laughing. Anya's comments were a blast too. Fantastic moment:

The words slid past Willow’s lips, and Tara caught them in her own breath, tasted them, drank them.

Exquisite.

Thank you for sharing this with all us Kittens.

[LonelyTara]

One more note (since I can't edit my last post for some reason...)

She turned to Willow, who by now was thinking how nice it would be if she and Tara could find a nice little home in the country; perhaps a country like Denmark. These people would visit, but not too often.

Xander smiled weakly while Buffy, Riley, and Giles all sat by in a kind of weird fascination. "It’s like a train wreck," Buffy muttered. "I can’t look away."

LOL and freakin' LOL.

[Ariel]

Hey, Mary

This story is utterly amazing! You have nailed the characterizations, the dialogue, and the interior poetry of love. Your writing is witty, touching and visceral.

Frankly anyone wanting to write W/T or anything, for that matter, should read this story. I know I will re-read and be grateful for your example. More than that, I'll re-read for the sheer pleasure of taking this ride again - glorious stuff!

And yes, I'll be looking (and reading) more of your stuff. I'm fairly new to the board with only two stories so I'm just getting an education.

Take care, I wish you joy and success in everything!

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother

[Azirahael]

Just add me to the list of folks who love this story.

An interesting take on Oz.
i always liked Oz, he did his best and was a cool guy, just not the right guy for Willow obviously.
The part where he chooses to use the wolf was very 'uh-oh!' for me. before that he was a guy with a problem, a metaphorical monkey on his back.
After that, he became controlling, abusive, all kinds of bad.
That was an evil move.

Gotta say, i love the banter. if anything, better than the original.
I especially love how Giles occasionally throws a verbal spanner in the works.
I am totally stealing that idea, i love reserved but shocking Giles.

This is my second read through, i cant believe i didn't leave feedback before.
i must have had the stupid and lost the ability to brain.

Nice work Mary
may there be many more stories of this quality!