Willow studied Tara’s face as her fingers trailed lightly over soft skin. She hadn’t been able to look away once, needing to reassure herself with every moment that Tara was still there. With her. Real and solid. A shy smile crossing perfect lips as her breathing finally slowed.
"Um, wow, that was…" the blonde trailed off with a blush.
"Yeah, it was. Definitely." Willow smiled and lowered her eyes to study her hand’s lazy progress over the pale skin of Tara’s chest, her fingers finding a familiar bump on the collarbone. She winced at the memory of Tara’s embarrassed and painful explanation. Her father had broken it in high school. A bad break that was never set properly. The memory brought a rush of protective anger and Willow took a deep breath to control the fury that threatened.
"Are you okay?" Tara’s warm fingers on her cheek gently brought Willow’s attention back to deep blue eyes. The redhead felt a slight pull, like magic, but chose to ignore it dropping her head to place a light kiss on the old injury.
Probably just residual effects from the device…
"I have never been more okay." Willow leaned in and brought her lips to Tara’s with a sigh. The blonde’s hand moved to the back of her head, fingers entwined in red hair and Willow moaned as she was pulled into a deeper kiss.
Please let this be real. Let me stay here forever…I give it all up. Everything for this.
"Ever." She whispered as she moved to hover over the blonde, gasping as strong hands pulled her down against bare skin everywhere. Another long sensual kiss evolved quickly into something desperate. "Oh, God Tara!" the redhead moaned as she slid her thigh between the blonde’s legs.
It wasn’t like this…even the first time we made love it was never like this.
They had been so cautious, so careful with each other. Slow and tentative and shy. That Willow would have never believed Tara wanted her like that. That she wanted Tara like this. But this was wild and unrestrained, Tara pulling her against her, sliding a thigh between her legs, mouths wide open as if they were trying to consume each other. It was like the night before…before. When Tara had come to her room and the world was a poem again, not a sentence. For a moment.
"Wil?" the blonde pushed Willow back gently, gasping for air.
"Oh, sorry. I’m going too fast aren’t I?" the redhead began, pulling away slowly.
Tara gripped her firmly with hands and thighs, a mischievous smile playing over her lips. "No. Imp-possibility remember?" And pulled Willow in for a long slow kiss. "But Buffy…"
Oh yeah. Buffy.
The Slayer was sure to return to the dorm room after her ‘mission’.
And then she’s gonna want to talk about the device. Full research mode. She’s going to want you to find answers and you want…
She let her eyes drift back down to the blonde’s beautiful face beneath her. Eyes black with desire, lips red and swollen from kissing, breathing hard as she studied the redhead carefully. And there was the unbearable ache between her own legs.
You want to have hot sweaty sex with Tara. Forever.
"You are so beautiful," Willow murmured and began to slowly trace a perfect breast.
"M-maybe we should g-go to my room."
Yes, we should go to Tara’s room. Get control of yourself and go to Tara’s…
Willow let her eyes drift down to the blonde’s chest and knew there was no way she could leave this room, this miraculous place she had discovered again with Tara. Not yet. She dropped her head and brought her mouth slowly to cover one breast.
Tara arched up into her. "Willow!" And it all slipped away again with that one word. On those lips. Sending a shudder and wet jolt through her that was stronger than any magic. Bigger than time.
"Not yet."
****
Buffy walked quickly through campus toward home, her eyes adjusting quickly to the rapid onset of night. It was that moment between when the world seemed to pause before taking that last step into dark.
But to the Slayer inside it was something else. It was the line between the two pieces of herself. She felt it every night, the quickening of her pulse, her hearing and sight growing more acute, her muscles twitching with desire, skin humming with the electric thrill of aggression. The outlines of things growing more distinct as the predator in her blood began to wake. Like a vampire ready to hunt in the night. And that was the dark secret she had kept for so long. This thing she had known from the beginning and hidden even from herself. That the Slayer was a demon made to fight demons. They talked about the Chosen One and a higher purpose, but she was created to hunt and kill in a centuries-old fight to the death. They could sugar coat it with lofty titles and prophecies, but it was still violence and naked aggression.
She had kept that secret for so long. Until Faith.
Faith who was now out of jail and alone with her sister in some apocalyptic future.
And she knows all about the demon, she thought with a scowl. Faith had had no problem getting in touch with her inner demon, had understood it and embraced it while Buffy had taken the high road burying it under perkiness and comic relief.
Until she had found release in death. She was finally free from the demon and they brought her back.
Willow brought me back. But not Tara….
She froze in the middle of the sidewalk. They had never actually discussed the details of that day. What had happened in that room to bring out the demon in her best friend. Oh God, did Willow use up all of her resurrect-y magic on me? Maybe Tara would still be here if Willow didn’t…
The sound of laughter brought her back to the present. Her ears picking out the familiar masculine voice from the crowd. Riley.
Before she could make an escape, he was running toward her, calling her name with that wide, trusting smile. She felt a familiar smile crowd her face at the sight of him. Riley had been so easy and comfortable. And he had loved her.
But you can’t give him what he needs right now. He’s looking for smitten co-ed Buffy and After Spike and Glory and everything. I just can’t. And he would never understand.
So keep it short and sweet. You’re on a mission…
And then it hit her as her smile faded, you never could give him what he needed.
She was swept into a warm kiss, strong arms circling her waist. "Are we still on for later?" His face was split by a love-struck grin. It was so hard for her to believe that anyone had ever loved her like this. Unconditionally. It was so tempting to fall back into old behaviors. So easy to convince herself that she was that shiny girl.
"For?" she winced.
He looked around briefly, "For Patrol later. You know, with the guys."
Buffy nodded absently and tried to remember the specific details of the night. Unlike Willow she had no carefully organized filofax, no significant emotional landmarks. But ‘the guys’ had to mean the Initiative…
"Sorry, but I’ve got this thing…at home that I have to do. You know, important family-type… stuff. Just sorta came up." She shrugged and put on her cheeriest smile.
"Oh, your Mom still giving you a guilt trip about not visiting?"
"What?" She looked up into his broad smile and watched fascinated as his mouth moved, but there was no sound.
Mom.
She’s alive. Here.
Somehow, this simple fact had gotten lost in the dorm room. The Slayer had been so caught up in normal Scooby procedures and Willow so focused on Tara that her mother had slipped quietly through unnoticed.
She pulled away from Riley abruptly, trying to run before the tears started. "I’ve got to go…sorry." And then a firm grip on her arm stopping her.
"But I thought…I mean this maneuver’s been planned for…" she looked down at the hand on her arm and felt the two parts of herself separate. That girl that she had been who could comfort and reassure him had disappeared long ago, killed in self defense.
"Look, I’m sorry about your maneuvers or whatever, but I’ve got to go," she turned again, but he still held her arm.
"Are you okay? Maybe I should go with…."
It took all of her strength to keep from breaking the hand that held her. The hand that kept her from her mother. From home. "Riley please…I really need ..."
"To go," he finished for her, hurt and frustration apparent in his voice. "Yeah, I got that part."
She wanted to scream at him and cry and break down in his arms and tell him everything,
My mother is alive
My mom is in our house now. And I’m here and…
She’s alive.
But instead she took a deep breath. "I’ll call you later. Okay?"
And she was gone in a blur, running toward home.
****
Dawn took a deep breath and wiped the tears roughly from her eyes.
It’s going to be okay. They’re just gone. Not dead. You can get them back. What would Buffy do?
She looked up to find Faith’s dark eyes studying her carefully.
Buffy would kick Faith’s ass …even if it wasn’t her fault.
Dawn laughed out loud at the image and the Dark Slayer’s angry features dissolved into a confused smirk. "What’s so funny?"
"Nothing." The teenager shook her head, but found that she couldn’t stop laughing.
"You better tell me," Faith said in her most threatening voice which only made Dawn laugh harder.
"I was just thinking about what Buffy would do now…" she trailed off unable to explain. Because Faith was sure to take it the wrong way. Nothing that happened between the two Slayers ever seemed to go the right way.
And she had never understood it. Why her sister hated Faith so much. Faith was funny and smart and…totally cool! Like a rockstar. And yeah, she acted all tough with the cursing and the head-bobbing stuff, but she was so obvious. It was all right there with Faith. Right on the surface. Unlike Buffy with all her silent gloominess. Maybe that’s why Buffy and the Scoobies couldn’t see it. Because it’s obvious.
And Faith doesn’t talk to me like I’m an idiot.
"She’d probably blame it on me and try to kick my ass," the Dark Slayer muttered angrily and crossed her arms.
"See! That’s exactly what I was thinking. Great minds do think alike." Which brought a slow, steady smile to the Slayer’s face.
The ghostly sound of a gunshot and glass shattering brought them both back to the grim reality of the bedroom. Faith’s eyes again traveled over the room’s contents, finally landing on the silver object in the middle of the floor. Dawn watched the Dark Slayer’s jaw clench as she bent to pick it up.
"B…supposed to be mine… so fucking hard-headed," she could barely hear the Slayer muttering under her breath.
"What is it?" Dawn leaned over a leather-clad shoulder. The scary metal thing actually just looked like a little sculpture. Cute. With stars on the top.
"Uh, I don’t know." The Slayer turned to face her, holding the object between them. "Cordy saw it in a vision." Faith paused and met Dawn’s eyes for a moment as if she was making a decision and then shrugged. "B and Red are supposed to end the world with it or something."
"So why …I mean, is that why you’re here? You know ‘cause I’m thinking it’s probably better if you stay, like, a hundred miles away from my sister." And that brought another smile to the Slayer’s face.
"Yeah, something like that. I’m supposed to stop it," she looked around the ruined room with a grimace. "So, so far I’m 0 for 2."
Another ghostly Willow-wail echoed through the room and Dawn shivered.
Tara and Willow.
"Is that Red?" The Slayer asked cocking her head to the left, like a dog listening to something beyond human hearing.
"This is the room where Tara was shot," she answered simply and shuddered again.
Deep furrows appeared on Faith’s forehead. "Red’s girl?"
And mine. And Buffy’s.
Not just Willow’s.
Tara was everyone’s girl.
And they stole her from the world. From us.
She wanted to explain it all to Faith, but found that she couldn’t. She was holding back too much. Fear, grief, anger. If she let go of any piece of it right now, the rest would surely come pouring out. And they had more important things to worry about. End of the world things. And no Buffy to help. And she didn’t want to be that crying helpless girl. She wanted to be tough. Like a Slayer.
"Yeah. Can we get out of here?" Faith just nodded.
Dawn walked through the doorway and felt the chill lift, the eerie sounds dying as soon as she stepped over the threshold.
"What the fuck?"
She turned to find the Dark Slayer staring down at her empty hands.
"What?"
Faith looked down at the floor. "It’s gone. Like, totally, fucking poof, just gone out of my hands." They both turned frantically back to the room to find the silver object lying where they had found it with the broken glass and debris.
The Slayer scowled and rested her hands on her hips. "Okay, well, that’s not going anywhere obviously. I’m thinking we are gonna need a witch and since Red’s gone…"
Dawn turned automatically to find Tara’s smiling face on the wall. Tara had taught her a few spells and incantations, but she had been adamant about Dawn staying away from big magicks. No matter how great the need.
But there's nobody else.
"What about Giles?" Faith asked.
The teenager turned back. "Um, he’s in England, so, like, factor in 24 hours of travel time at least if we can even get a hold of him…"
"Well, I could call Angel, but…."
"Hey! There’s Anya. She’s a witch. I mean, she was a witch."
Faith frowned. "Anya? The ex-vengeance demon?"
"Well, yeah, but technically she’s an ex-ex-vengeance demon now since Xander dumped her at the altar. But she’s cool and all with the demon knowledge you know, except when she’s eviscerating people’s boyfriends and…" Faith was shaking her head with a smile. "What?"
"I forgot how much you people talk! Jesus, between you, B and Red…" the dark Slayer rolled her eyes and began to walk toward the stairs. This was the Faith Dawn loved. Annoying, smartass, tough softie Faith. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to hit her or hug her.
But hugging Faith could be dangerous. And I’ve gotten away with one today already so…
She opted for a playful punch to the arm that had no effect whatsoever on the rock-solid Slayer but made her feel better, "Look, just because I’m not all monosyllabic five by five cavewoman like you…"
"Whatever," Faith rolled her eyes and hopped playfully down the stairs. "Can we go find this Anya chick before you talk me back into a coma.
"Whatever," Dawn mocked her and stopped dead in the hallway. The door had literally been ripped from its hinges and Faith was now propping it precariously back in place.
"You were screaming," the Dark Slayer offered with a shrug. Dawn tried to suppress the enormous grin but couldn’t. She followed Faith through the ruined doorframe into a beautiful end-of-the-world Sunnydale day.
Edited by: lipkandy at: 11/11/02 10:41:10 pm
Oh the possibilities...heh.
I know she's got some scary places to go yet, but she's ready to face those disparate parts of herself...that metaphor of the quickening for dusk, the dark and the candy-coated light, the slayer-demon and the "shiny girl"... mmmmm. yes. I was surprised she didn't think of her mom sooner, frankly, but I guess she did kinda have a lot on her mind. I wonder how that's gonna be? I can see buffy trying to keep the truth secret from her mom (whereas I can't see willow even making a last-ditch attempt to hide what's going on from tara), but I have a feeling that both joyce and tara will be active agents of their own salvation before this story's through. 
