Gods Served and Abandoned

[AntigoneUnbound]

All hail great Kittens,

So worthy of smittens, and yes, I know it's not a word.



You guys rock!



Jixer: Well, you know, the limerick just sorta spoke to me. Then I took some medication and it stopped. Love your observations about the implications of both what Willow was about to do and what Tara was about to say. Both teeter at the edge of something profound, and both are rescued by timing, not their own restraint. Congrats for the yellow jersey, Jixer!



Washi: Yeah, good ol' Aunt B ain't just the cool bi relative from da big city. I'll update early next week, Washi--promise!



Mollyig: Beverly clearly has some extra powerful perceptual mojo going on--but in service to what, or whom? Indeed, there is much to be discussed, and much coffee to be consumed. (Actually, that last part is always a good gameplan, I think.) Have a great weekend, Mollyig.



Justin: Yep, you capture the major questions pretty thoroughly, it would seem! I especially liked this one: "So was it Buffy or Dawn who made Aunt Bev flinch? In either case why? Was she just shocked by how shiny Dawn's hair is?" Make me laugh, Justin! So glad to know I'm not the only one to notice that. But seriously, folks--I intentionally left the target of "the flinch" ambiguous, but I promise I'll answer that (and your other questions) in the next update. Thanks for the feedback, Justin.



Ruth: Yes, family is most definitely a prevailing theme in this story, along with the issue of the nature of good and evil. Beverly is the first person in Tara's life who is both a blood relative (or is she?) and someone she would want in her life under any circumstances. I agree with you that Tara would never turn away from an older gay person b/c I think she respects things like experience and wisdom far more than pretty much any other Scooby except perhaps Willow.



You're right--I've foreshadowed Beverly's "extra special" aspect and now it's made clear that she has some major mojo working for her and that she's not aligned with Glory. The next chapter will answer most questions, I believe. I think there's a fine line b/w extending the tension of an ambiguous situation and just jerking the reader around.



You know, from the beginning I've known that I wanted to write Glory. Like Puff, she was my favorite Big Bad. You capture her nicely, I think: "that self-involved prattle that she has all the time and her self-obsessed presence." That's it to a T, Ruth. As I approached this chapter, I really wanted to switch the roles a little while preserving the element of Glory's belief that Tara was the Key. I could see Willow battling terror and still retaining that elusive quality that lets her say wildly random but endearing things at the same time.



And what awaits our girls? "However, the fact still remains that Aunt Bev's got a lot of 'splainin' to do, hasn't she? And you know, I'm still heading towards the alien Pharoahs story." I suggest we both throw back about half a bottle of wine or its equivalent at some time that is mutually agreeable to our separate continental considerations and sit down to write that alien Pharaohs story, alternating one line at a time. To quote your illustrious self: What? It could work.



Thanks for the great feedback, Ruth. It's damn near addictive.



BarnabasVamp: Yeah, Aunt Bev has a whole lotta beans to spill, doesn't she--including the object of "the flinch." Glad you're enjoying the story and the disclaimers--I don't know why I enjoy writing the latter so much, but I just go w/ it, you know? Thanks, BV.



ChilledMonkey: Welcome back! I always considered "TL" a powerful and well-written episode, but certainly a difficult one to watch. One theme that they never explored but that always tweaked my interest was the fact that Willow had uttered almost all of the spell--but momentarily blanked on (I believe) the third line. What would have happened if she'd remembered it all w/o faltering? Did she hold herself responsible for that at all? Obviously, I didn't explore that here, but I find it an interesting thought. Thanks for following this story, CM.



Sela! Welcome back, good soul! Hope life's been treating you well. You capture the amazing contradiction of Glory extremely well, I think: she's both terrifying and ridiculous. What really gave me food for thought, though, was your observation about Beverly's defiance of easy labels, right down to her sexual orientation. I especially liked this consideration: "I don't think she's evil, but she's definitely something supernatural. Glory isn't purely evil, but she's certainly not good. So why can't there be someone who also predates the written word who isn't purely good, but certainly not evil? Like the ying to Glory's yang? Anyway, that's purely speculation on my part." And intriguing speculation it is, Sela.



It's interesting to see who various Kittens think Beverly is responding to when she flinches: some say Buffy, others think Dawn. Hmm...



I really appreciate your comments about transitions b/w scenes. I always flinch (so to speak) just a little bit when I'm reading something and then it's clear that we're checking out of that room and into another but that move is so abrupt that I feel momentarily disoriented. And yes, our girls are so connected that thoughts make a great transition device for their scenes.



"Seemingly effortless grace"? Golly, ma'am...I'm blushing even under the redness of a face that has spent far too many hours in the sun, in her garden, w/o vigilant attention to sunscreen. (Yeah--guess where that exchange in the update came from?) Thanks, Sela, for your incredibly gracious words and the thoughtfulness of your comments. I love how they stir my own thinking. Have a great weekend!



Grimaldi: You're right--Willow couldn't have lived w/ herself, I think, if she had indeed sacrificed Dawn's identity. I'm psyched about writing Beverly's role in all of this. Thanks for the good thoughts.



Puff: What a great phrase, Puff: "an effective Glory deterrent." Sounds like the mother of all heavy-duty cleansers...As I mentioned to Ruth (above), Glory was also my favorite Big Bad. She was so incredibly powerful, and not remotely averse to using that, and yet there was something oddly engaging about her--her humor, both intentional and otherwise; her complete self-absorption, that seemed such a perfect commentary on the vanity and self-involvement of modern society...I was definitely looking forward to writing her.



I definitely wanted to take folks on an emotional roller-coaster; glad it felt real to you. Thanks for the great thoughts, Puff!



Tigerkid14: Hey--welcome to the board, Tigerkid! It's a great place, filled with very kind and friendly people. And please call me Mary--I love "Antigone," but the "Unbound" part always feels a little grandiose to me, you know? (Unfortunately, plain ol' "Antigone" was taken when I signed up, so I had to give a suffix of some kind. Still can't believe I went w/ "Unbound.) I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. Patience isn't one of your virtues? Don't worry--it's not high on my psychological resume either. Thanks for signing on and posting on this thread!



Grimmy: Thanks for the positive vote on the POV aspect; it's definitely a relief to know it worked. And I'm glad you started feeling "oogy" (a technical term, that) when they started talking about the fair--that was my intention! I really liked your analogy to shivering if you were to pass an atom bomb: if Aunt Bev knows what Dawn's capable of (which she appears to), it makes sense that she would flinch.



Boy, you don't like Dawn, do you? You know, sometimes I find her endearing, and then other times (like, when she's screaming "Get out, get out, GET OUT!") I think, "Lose the snot-nosed kid already."



I also like your speculations about Beverly's essence: could she be, as you question, a competing hell god? All sorts o' interesting options, yes?



And Willow opting for Tara over Dawn...I really struggled w/ the implications of that decision, esp. since Dawn's discovery would probably mean annihilation for all of them, including Tara. But in that moment, might Willow be tempted to do anything that might even possibly buy Tara some time? I think so.



Thanks for the great thoughts and ideas, Grimmy. You always make me think! Have a great weekend.



Tempered Cynic: You know, I spent an absolutely ridiculous amount of time trying to come up w/ what was eventually "Euphrates," just b/c I wanted to keep Hades in there so badly.



Door Number 3? OK, TC, but I have to tell you--that door opens to reveal Giles in a gladiator outfit. Don't say I didn't warn you.



Yes indeed--Beverly has a great deal to answer for--most notably, what's her connection to Glory and is she for the cause of good or evil (if those two can be so simplistically dichotomized).



You wanna see dominant Tara in more Willow-friendly environs? You got it, TC--with an especially good twist in there just for you b/c you use the word "environs" and it's just such a great word!



Thanks for following this story, TC, and sending in such great feedback.



Ah Patty... Yes, my dear--we are now joined in mutual incontinence. I feel so close to you now...



I'll send you an e-mail about the "Sisterhood" scene--I think you'll enjoy it!



As you can probably tell, I have a soft spot for Beverly--probably b/c she's not transparent in her motivations yet clearly very fond and protective of Tara. I figured that readers might wonder when she was gonna show up at that bench show-down, but I'm glad that Glory's reaction to her came as a surprise. I really hope you like where she goes from here.



Oh--thanks for the confirmation of the POV question. I really wanted the reader to have access to both of their inner landscapes, especially as they worked their way closer and closer to each other at the fair. Your feedback just rocks, Patty--I love seeing your name here! Have a great weekend.



BFRdeParis: Oh yeah--Baby Tara pics...Can't you just imagine it? (Sigh...) Glad you're enjoying Aunt Bev--I'm having a good time writing her! Thanks, BFR.



Karen: What a great screen name, and a wonderful limerick as well. Welcome to the board! Happy fairies give the best reason of all to write here! Hope you enjoy the rest of this story, and thanks for delurking!



OK--that's all for now.

Thanks again,

Mary

Edited by: AntigoneUnbound at: 7/3/03 7:44 pm

[Vampivy]

Ah, man… I wanna rhyme too.



**Clears throat**



There once was a girl from Jahore… Ah bugger this.



Patty





ETA: Hey Mary, you beat me to the punch.

I look forward to that e-mail. I’m a bit curious now. Thank you again for all your kind words.

Edited by: Vampivy at: 7/3/03 7:35 pm

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey Patty~~ How go things in Jahore...? Ah, tonight I shall probably dream of just how that limerick ended...



Hey--I tried to send you an e-mail but I couldn't seem to enter my address and SMTP (if that's even the right acronym) in the Outlook Express window. So I'll try it again tomorrow (heading home now) and hopefully it'll go through.



Renally yours,

Mary

[The Rose24]

WOW.



You really know how to write a cliffhanger don't you? I 've been ready to find out more about Aunt Beverly from the first time you introduced her. I knew there was more to her. I am sitting on pins and needles waiting for your next update.



Xita's right. You have Glory pegged.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[sizzlersister]

"...fighting the evil undead with a regularity that rivaled her menstrual cycle."



More than the beautifully handled plotline(s) or the right on the money characterization, it is your fantastic sense of humor that I love the most. Every interaction between characters is a joy. I love this story. Thank you so much.

[shuyaku]

The two points of view worked perfectly in this update. You employed a very structured way of handling it. I have a problem with narrative when I write - bouncing all over the place. I have to make a conscious effort to remember who's telling the story



Aunt Bev all large with the butch! You go girl



This line by Aunt Bev at the end...

Quote:

---

"We should probably have a little chat,"

---

is probably suppose to be at least a little serious, but I was just She is the perfect 'straight (wo)man.' Even after an overwhelmingly dangerous moment, her humor (and Tara's) shines through. And, gosh how I'm living Aunt Bev even more... a loving, sweet, extremely funny, coffee drinking 'family' member that made Glory shake in her proverbial boots.



I absolutely love how you intermingle humor and angst. My favorite Buffy eps tend to be the ones that are (seemingly) very serious and then the humor sneaks up on you. You're suddenly laughing - the angst a subtle memory and the happy moments take the lead.



And the computer geek that I am, I had to comment on this...

Quote:

---

Beverly: "Well, my Mac has a megasaurus, enough hurts to zip a ram, and I can drive down the load with a pentagon processor."



Willow: "Yeah, but PC’s give a bite and let you grade up and besides, my Internet axis is just unbelievable."

---

I'm pretty sure that's what is sounds like to my gf when I'm talking computers



Fantastic update! Can't wait for the 'little chat.'

-shuyaku

Edited by: shuyaku at: 7/6/03 6:59 pm

[JustSkipIt]

Hey Mary,



Very good job with the alternating points of view. I love the alternating pov technique although I usually do it with third person but focusing on one character and exposing only that character's emotions and thoughts. I've never exerimented with using first person except through letters, etc. But back to you... You did wonderfully. At one point I thought you were going to weave in first person from Beverly too.



I loved the subtle changes you made from ME's version. And of course Aunt Bev is a big bad/good/something. Too awesome. Great job and very funny too.



Debra

---

"Seek the company of those who are still seeking the truth and run away from those who think they have found it.--J.T. O'Hara

[Grimlock72]

It's strange... by all accounts Aunt Bev did save at least Willow and likely Tara because she would NOT have ran away. Still I'm verrrry distrusting of Aunt Bev.... I would expect to feel more gratefull towards her but I'm all with the mis-trusting, probably caused by feeling she kinda lied up till now. Hmm... strange though..



The way Glory say 'Auntie Glory' had me all suspicious it was really Aunt Bev. all along, so you did manage to suprise me nicely :-)



Grimmy



P.S. SMTP stands for Simple Mail Transfer Protocol and I've no idea why you would enter it in Outlook Express except as 'outgoing mail server' :-) The part after the @ in an adress is generally referred to as either domain or host, whichever you prefer...

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[stereo33]

Ok Mary, It wasn't enough for you to put this image in my head of Aunt Beverly doing a duet with Justin Timberlake, but now I've added Spike and Xander on bv's and Giles on lead guitar! Firstly, I think I may need some serious help! Secondly, I'm hoping that I'm gonna keep liking Aunt Bev (it's looking kinda good so far).



Tara's pride at introducing a member of her family to Buffy & Dawn was touching, and I think Tara can obviously sense something from her Aunt, although I guess it's so unusual for her to have a family member show affection and support that she has a lot to process. Btw I love how you wrote Tara watching the interaction between Aunt Bev and Willow, I could quite literally read that all day, especially when Tara made her comment about computers



Willow's panic when faced with Glory was heartwrenching and even though she was willing Tara to run, we know that Tara would never leave her. Good job then that Aunt Beverly showed up to deal with Glory (who thought she'd been destroyed ) Now I really can't wait for the "talk".

Thanks Mary.

Karen

[darkest willow]

Okay, chats are good. Are you going to be all explain-y?



Loved the way Glory assumed that all power is the same power, and naturally the most recent person who had much power had to be the Key.



Oh, and yay for Willow for not speaking, had me scared for a minute there.



Loved the update, eagerly waiting.

[darkest willow]

Okay, chats are good. Are you going to be all explain-y?



Loved the way Glory assumed that all power is the same power, and naturally the most recent person who had much power had to be the Key. Oh, and yay for Willow for not speaking, had me scared for a minute there. kinda scared about Bev though. I mean she is all nice and stuff, but very... shifty about supernatural stuff.



Loved the update, eagerly waiting.

[Triscuit7]

hey Mary



I've been bad ... reading and not leaving feedback, but I'm here now. I feel a little bit like Willow talking about a certain peasant blouse in WTWTA. Forgive me?



I love what you're doing post-Family. It seems so real; I think that's because most of the dysfunctions of the Maclays are "normal" dysfunctions. There is abuse (of all sorts), extramarital affairs, and alcoholism. These are the normal demons everyone faces. Then there are the normal demons of the fanged and hell god varieties that you usually find on BTVS. You blend the two fabulously.



Tough Love is not one of my favorite episodes; I'm nonconfrontational by nature and discord always gives me the willies. That argument in canon BTVS between Willow and Tara always upsets me every time I watch it. But....



That argument is not here in this lovely fic. And Willow replaces Tara on the bench for Glory to find. You had me quite nervous for awhile but then Aunt Bev came to the rescue and in such an interesting way. Wow.



Can't wait for more now.



Ciao, Melissa



PS. I brought a present. Unfortunately it's the only limerick I know: There once was a girl from Anheiser, who thought that nothing could surprise, but Schlitz took a chance and found Busch in her pants, and now she is sadder Budweiser.

******************



I brought marshmallows!

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey Kittens~~Just returned from a long weekend and have to say that your feedback always makes the return enjoyable, you know? Thanks so darn much I'm just a-burstin' as I write this.



Rose: Cliffhanger? What cliffhanger? Oh--that one. Yeah, Aunt Beverly is about to do some heavy-duty "sharing" w/ our girls. Hope you enjoy the next part, and watch out for those pins and needles. Thanks Rose!



Sizzlersister: First of all, that's an absolutely wonderful signature! Major kudos for that creativity. Thank you so much for the kind words--I often express my gratitude in fairly tongue-in-cheek ways, but I hope that doesn't obscure the sincerity behind it. I suspect that you and I enjoy much the same kind of writing, given your fondness for humor. I could read Dave Barry or "The Onion" (have you checked out either of them?) pretty much all day. Thanks again for your support, and welcome to the board!



Shuyaku: I'm really relieved to get confirmation on using the dual POV's in this update. Everyone who knows me would roll on the floor wetting their pants with laughter to learn that anything I've done has been referred to as "structured," but your point is well-taken: I was worried about losing focus/clarity, but really wanted to highlight the increasing tension of the scene.



You know, I really have a soft spot for Aunt Bev as well, that coffee-swillin' woman with the secret. You're right about the last line: yes, she's being serious, but she's delivering her statement in her typical way: understated (at least, that's what I'm shooting for). I'm really interested to hear your thoughts on her as the next update unfolds.



God, I'm glad the computer-related exchange (as heard by Tara) made you laugh. That section actually took the longest to write b/c I'm so techno-clueless that I had a hard time coming up with enough terms.



Finally, I share your appreciation for those episodes that combined humor and angst. I think we tend to consider them antonyms of a sort when (at least in my perception, and in my own life) they serve to illuminate each other. I tend to emerge w/ a fuller appreciation of someone's pain when they find a way to leaven it w/ humor, even of the gallows variety. Does that make any sense?



Thanks, Shuyaku, for the great feedback and the thought-provoking ideas. Hope your weekend was great.



Debra: You know, there's a great collection of short stories entitled "Points of View." I think it's published yearly, though I'm not sure. It gives a fascinating (and very instructive) overview of the various persectives that writers can take and the intended effects of each. What's interesting to me about my own approach to writing this story is that most of my other work uses the 3rd-person limited omniscient stance, yet in this one I've at least visited other people's vantage points. I'm not sure what that's about, though I suspect it has something to do w/ feeling considerably drawn to both Tara and Willow as narrators. Hmmm...Anyway, thanks for the good thoughts!



Oh, Grimmy... You're going to be so upset when I tell you that Aunt Beverly is actually acting on behalf of Donnie--another character whom I know you dislike considerably...OK, maybe not. I'm not going to reassure you about Aunt Bev, or urge you to trust her before you're ready to...I just want to know what you think about her as more information emerges.



Thanks for the info re: the e-mail snafu w/ Patty. I'm still trying to figure it out. Hope your weekend was a good one, Grimmy.



Karen: Wow...so sorry to leave you w/ the image of Spike and Xander on bv's--though I guess that's better than imagining them in BVD's, right? Oh God--now I'm stuck w/ that image...



You know, it's fascinating to me to read people's varied reactions to Aunt Bev, and their inclination (or lack thereof) to like and trust her. As I've mentioned to other people, I'll be really curious to read your thoughts about her as new information comes out.



Yeah, I wanted some element of Tara's sense of family being tweaked in a positive way; that is, her pride in introducing Bev to Buffy and Dawn. And yes, there's something so incredible about watching two people you love fiercely interacting, establishing a good connection--it's like your world comes together in good ways, versus some of the other reactions that can occur in those settings. Thanks for the good thoughts, Karen--and watch out for those BV(D)'s, OK?



Darkest Willow: Ah, so Aunt B is shifty on the supernatural, eh? Wonder what she'll do next? I like your point about Willow's very understandable terror and deliberation of spilling the beans. It's not just her safety at stake (which I think she really considered secondary, b/c she's so accustomed to being in danger herself), but Tara's--and that's the one person she wants to protect above all others, including her friends and that abstract concept, "society." Thanks for following this, Darkest Willow.



Triscuit: Oh god, Triscuit--no apology necessary! I'm just psyched you're reading this and enjoying it. And the limerick...well, let's just say that it took me a moment to write back to you b/c I was choking on my iced coffee. "Sadder Budweiser"? OK, that's just a treat!



And oh, yeah--I'm flying right there w/ you on "Nonconfrontation Airways," Triscuit...it takes a lot longer to get places, but everyone's so very nice... I didn't like the fight in TL, either, even though I understood it and even thought it made sense in furthering the characters and their story. But it definitely gave me the tummy turns...



I really like your point about the Maclay demons vis-a-vis the kind we usually saw on Buffy. I'm glad you're enjoying this little alternate stroll. Thanks for following this story, Triscuit, and taking the time to write.



That's all for now...Look for an update on Wednesday of this week.



Thanks,

Mary

Edited by: AntigoneUnbound at: 7/7/03 7:10 pm

[darkmagicwillow]

The reversal of the bench discussion was a good idea, taking us another step away from Tough Love, and I quite liked Willow's discussion with Glory along with Tara attempting to come to rescue Willow with her spell. However, what I'm looking forward to is the explanation of how you've tied Aunt Beverly to Glory and what that might mean for Tara herself. I've been wondering where you've been going with this story since we left the Maclay house, so I'm quite excited to finally discover that. I keep coming up with all kinds of odd ideas about who and what Beverly is, but I suspect you something completely different in store for us than anything I've guessed so I'll keep quiet for now.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 7/9/03 7:07 pm

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey folks~~ Sorry, but I'm just too tuckered to type tonight. Long day. Finally over. Mary at loss for verbs.



Tune in tomorrow (Thursday), when we learn that Aunt Beverly is Glory's lover. Really.



DarkMagicWillow: Hey, how's it going? Had to laugh at this sentence: "I've been wondering where you've been going with this story since we left the Maclay house..." Um, I'll take that in the nicest way possible... Joking aside, I really will be interested to see what you think of the link that emerges. Thanks for the good thoughts re: the POV tactice, DMW, and FYI, I think I'll throw in a few more acronyms, ASAP. Thanks again.



Later, my gators.

Mary

[alli1977]

Glory's lover! I love this story - even if you're joking, I can't wait for the update!

[Grimlock72]

Aaaaaarghhhh..... there I was reading the last page of this thread, something about Glory's lover ??? Eeeeeww... we soooo need to have a tiny little talk about NOT posting cardiac-arrest-inducing 'hints'... .



Slowly recovering now.... hope you're feeling better today/tomorrow. Can't have you falling asleep over your laptop or such :-).



Come to think of Glory, was she really all that evil or just desperate to get home ??



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[chilled monkey]

It's funny you mentioned that. The thing I've always thought about Glory is that she's amoral rather than immoral. She's not out to 'get' humankind, she simply wants to use the Key to return to her home dimension. The fact that it'll wipe out the universe is besides the point to her. Personally I've often wondered why she didn't just look for a portal (like on Angel in 'Over the Rainbow').



Looking forwards to the next update.

[The Rose24]

AU,



I hope you are joking. I can't imagine Glory being anyone's lover.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[AntigoneUnbound]

OK, so it totally cracked me up to read the varying degrees of consternation involved in my "hint" that Beverly was Glory's lover. Now my wheels are just a-spinnin'!



Alli1977: Hey, nice to see you! Hope you like the non-Glory-lover-oriented update. Thanks for reading!



Grimmy: Oh, sorry Sweetie~~I would never want to damage a heart as lovely as yours! Your question--is Glory evil or just homesick?--is actually a fascinating one. I've always found her a really compelling "Big Bad," b/c she doesn't fit easily into that intentionally destructive, takes-pleasure-from-others'-pain niche of most BB's. Now--sit back and relax, my friend, safe in the knowledge that there will be no Beverly/Glory smut coming up.



Chilled Monkey: As I mentioned to Grimmy above, Glory really does make a fascinating villain. Amorality vs. immorality--it's an intriguing distinction, isn't it? As you can probably tell, I'm pretty captivated by the idea of evil and our choice therein. Thanks for reading, CM.



Rose: OK, consider the joke ended. There shall be no hell-god homo action going on here!



OK--update following.

Mary

[AntigoneUnbound]

Gods Served and Abandoned

Disclaimers:
Haiku for Our Heroines
You have abandoned
She whom you first created.
And where is "Firefly"?

Spoilers: Up to season 5. I’ve played slightly with the timing of a certain Big Bad’s appearance, with some implications for Dawn’s entrance.
Rating: R for now; if it changes, I’ll give heads-up.
Distribution: Sure, with acknowledgement.
Feedback: Oh yeah…bring it on!

*****
Part 35
*****

"A chat…OK, chatting is nice." So managed Willow after narrowly averting death and dementia.

"You know what’s even better?" Tara amended. "A lengthy narrative in which you explain what in the goddess’s name just happened."

"Actually, I sort of envisioned a cathartic, bonding discussion," Beverly suggested. "A little ‘Steel Magnolias,’ a little ‘Ya-Ya Sisterhood…"

"Feel free to use the term of your choice," Tara replied through clenched teeth. She felt as if she were riding some surreal emotional Tilt-a-Whirl. She knew that something supernatural had just taken place between her aunt—who had so vehemently denied the existence of demons—and a hell god. She knew that her aunt had somehow managed to frighten or at least deter that hell god, though she had no idea how. Eclipsing everything, though, was the knowledge of just how close she had come to losing Willow. Would she have been able to save her, if Beverly hadn’t arrived? Because Beverly had saved Willow—saved them both—and Tara knew that that fact would carry greater weight than any other information she might learn.

In short, she was grateful, relieved, anxious, and very, very curious.

"OK, Sweetie," Beverly capitulated, reaching out to squeeze Tara’s shoulder. She seemed to think better of the move, however, and withdrew her hand. "But not here. People don’t stay clueless forever, even in Sunnydale."

"You’ve noticed that, huh?" Tara asked, catching her aunt’s bemused gaze.

In less than half an hour, they were sitting in Tara’s dorm room.

"So…you two are involved with Glory, eh?" Beverly began without preamble.

"Not romantically," Tara replied, feeling an inexplicable urge to stall. Was she afraid of her aunt?

"Right, because threesomes…not so much our scene," Willow added.

"But you know she’s a god, of the hellish variety. And did you learn this by watching the Discovery Channel?"

"No, we read about it in the National Enquirer," Tara countered. "How did you make the nice lady’s acquaintance?"

Beverly looked at her through narrowed eyes. "You don’t trust me, do you? You want to, but you’re not sure what just happened. You want me to go first."

Tara met her gaze evenly. "Can you blame us?"

They exchanged a long look. Finally, Beverly sighed. "No…I don’t blame you at all. And I will tell you. It’s just that—what happened this afternoon, finding out you two have even heard of Glory, much less have cause to interact with her…Believe me when I say I’m as shocked about you two as you are about me." She fell silent again.

Willow blurted out abruptly, "We fight the forces of darkness—typically vampires, but also demons of all other varieties." She had apparently decided to offer up some information as a show of good faith.

Beverly looked at her, a delighted grin slicing across her face. "So you’re the good guys."

"Two of them," Tara granted.

"And I’m one of them," Beverly promptly replied. "Please believe that. And please understand when I ask you to explain this to me—how you’re involved; what you do. I swear to you, Tara—I will tell you what you want to know. But I need some context here; I need to know the cast of characters."

Could she possibly be working against us? Am I so glad to have a real family member close to me that I give her what she wants, even if it’s a huge mistake? Without realizing it, Tara closed her eyes; tried to anchor herself and gain even a whisper of intuition.

From the swirling eddy of fears and uncertainties, she became aware of one thing above all others: Willow was holding her hand. Willow, her rock and her one abiding truth, held Tara’s hand tightly in her own. Looking into Willow’s eyes, Tara saw that her beloved was ready to take the chance, to share their secret with Beverly. And Tara knew that had it not been for Beverly, she wouldn’t be holding Willow’s hand right now.

That has to count for something.

"OK. Honesty in exchange for honesty." She drew a deep breath. "Willow and I are witches. Good ones," she added.

"‘Good’ as in ‘Glenda the Good Witch,’ or ‘good’ as in ‘we’re good at what we do’?" Beverly asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Both," Willow replied. "We work for good, and as far as workin’ the mojo—we pretty much kick ass."

Beverly smiled at Tara. "You get that from Julia, don’t you?"

Tara fought against the tears gathering suddenly behind her eyes. "You knew Mom practiced?"

"I knew Julia had something extra going for her. Her essence was just radiant. Like yours," she added, this time letting herself squeeze Tara’s hand briefly.

Tara only nodded, willing herself to speak with a steady voice. "Willow and I met at college. She’s been involved with Buffy for almost five years now."

"Not romantically," Willow clarified helpfully.

"Right," Beverly nodded, grinning once again at Willow. "Let’s just assume that ‘involved’ doesn’t carry any erotic implications in this conversation." Looking back at Tara, her voice grew serious. "What does Dawn’s sister have to do with any of this?"

Dawn’s sister?

"She’s the Vampire Slayer," Tara replied.

Beverly’s eyebrows shot upward. "The Slayer? Oh my God…of course." She nodded in admiration. "That was brilliant—absolutely brilliant…" She looked past Tara, seemingly lost in her own tangled reality.

After a few moments, she met Tara’s gaze again, a troubled expression in her eyes. She seemed to fumble for her words, as if afraid that any miscue might have dire consequences.

"And how—how does Dawn fit into all of this?" she finally asked.

Tara looked quickly to Willow, whose eyes confirmed what Tara already believed: that this information wasn’t theirs to share. But how to avoid that topic without arousing Beverly’s suspicions?

"Dawn? She’s just the Slayer’s younger sister," Willow supplied. "Precocious; occasionally obnoxious. Prone to mood swings. Has a huge crush on Tara."

"Thanks for sharing," Tara managed through her flaming blush.

Beverly only looked from one of them to the other, her eyes telling them both that she was waiting for Act II in this story.

But Tara gazed back in turn, determined not to be intimidated.

Who’s going to blink?

"So…When Dawn’s not being a typical teenager, falling hard for my ever-so-humble niece, what does she do?"

Tara glanced at Willow, then replied, "Actually, I don’t know. I mean, she’s younger than us, so it’s not like we all hang out together on a regular basis."

Beverly shook her head, but her sigh of exasperation was mingled with admiration and affection. "Tara Maclay, you are an abysmal liar, but I sincerely respect your integrity."

"What are you talking about?" Willow demanded.

Beverly looked at her for several seconds, as if deliberating some decision. And then she reached it. "OK—my turn. You two have been honest with me, and I appreciate it." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "So…when Dawn’s not buying Clearasil or sneaking a look at your lesbian literature, does she ever—oh, I don’t know…open the portals between dimensions?" She leaned back, smiling in frank amusement at their stunned expressions.

"You know?" Willow finally spluttered. "You know Dawn’s the Key?"

Beverly nodded.

Tara looked at her closely. "You knew last night—at the pizza place. You spotted them before I had pointed them out, and I saw you react."

Beverly grimaced with self-recrimination. "God, I was hoping you hadn’t noticed that."

"You were staring at them, and you watched them walk away…but I thought you were looking at Buffy."

"And what—scoping her out?" Beverly asked, bemused. "No, it was Dawn. I felt her before I saw her. As soon as she entered the restaurant, I could feel her. I looked up, and I knew as soon as I laid eyes on her who she was."

"But how?" Tara demanded.

Beverly, though, either hadn’t heard her question or was pretending that she hadn’t. "Does she know? Dawn?"

Her aunt’s evasive maneuver hadn’t escaped Tara’s notice, but she let it go for now. "Yeah. She just found out a couple of weeks ago."

"Poor kid," Beverly sighed. "God, that must have whacked her world right out of its orbit."

"Yeah, she had some issues," Tara commented dryly. "None of which were helped by her mother’s sudden death right after that."

Beverly looked up sharply. "Her mother’s dead? How?"

"Some kind of brain hemorrhage," Willow replied. "She fell into a coma, and Buffy and Dawn had to decide what to do." She drew a quick, shuddering breath. "It was so awful."

Beverly sat quietly for what seemed to Tara like a long time. Finally, she ran her fingers through her short blond hair and shook her head.

"So the monks sent her to the Slayer for safe-keeping. I gotta hand it to ’em…Those boys had shit for fashion sense, but they knew their way around mystical protection."

"OK, so the monk part isn’t news to you, either," Tara interjected. "Aunt Bev, are you planning on telling us where you fit into all of this?"

To her surprise, Beverly reached out and gripped her hands tightly. "Tara, Sweetie, first of all, I want you to understand something. I want you to know, beyond a shadow of a glimmer of a fleeting glance of a doubt that I love you. You’re my niece, and I would walk through hell to protect you."

Stunned, Tara only nodded.

Beverly released her hands, and sat back with an almost embarrassed laugh. "OK, that takes care of tonight’s Hallmark Moment."

"Aunt Bev, what is it? You can tell us."

Beverly smiled, seemingly more composed, and answered softly. "I know I can. You’re good, Tara…better than you know. You too, Willow," she added, looking gently at the other witch. She gazed at them for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice was low and soft.

"As you know, Dawn is the Key that opens the door between dimensions. Glory wants her—needs her—to get back into her particular hell dimension. For Glory, this is about going home, although we’re not talking Waltons Mountain here. Glory’s little corner of the universe makes just about every other demon dimension look like Pee-Wee’s Fun House—minus the porn, of course. Glory isn’t really interested in dragging this world down into hell. But that’s exactly what will happen. The torment faced by every person—every living creature—on this earth will be unimaginable. Take your worst nightmare, and multiply it ten-fold. If you can’t imagine such a hell, count yourself fortunate."

She paused. Tara realized that she could hear her heart sledge-hammering its beat throughout her body.

"The monks knew that Dawn—the Key—had to be protected from Glory’s acquisition. And so they built in certain…safe-guards."

"Buffy," Willow said quietly.

Beverly’s laugh held little trace of actual humor. "Tara, you’re the English diva. Perhaps you noted the second plural in that sentence."

"Safe-guards," Tara echoed her aunt. "You’re saying the monks didn’t depend exclusively on Buffy to protect Dawn."

Beverly nodded. "Think about it. Here’s the one person—the one entity—who can unleash a literal hell on earth. I know Buffy’s good, and I’ll bet she’s downright amazing when it’s her sister she’s protecting…But if you were the monks, would you really want to put your hopes entirely and exclusively on one person, no matter how remarkable she is? For God’s sake—what if she got hit by a bus?"

"Finnish dryer lint," Willow commented randomly.

"Huh?"

"Don’t ask," Tara shook her head. "So you’re saying that the monks considered it too risky to pin all their hopes on one person—even the Slayer, protecting her sister—so they built in more than one means of hiding the Key."

"Right." Beverly stared hard at Tara, and Tara found that it was impossible to look anywhere else. She suddenly remembered her aunt’s words two nights ago, just before Tara had told her about Julia and Quinn’s affair.

This is really gonna fuck with me, isn’t it?

"And that’s where you come in, isn’t it?" Tara asked, finding it hard to speak around the thickening in her throat.

"Yeah." Beverly smiled sadly. "Tara, Sweetie—I’m one of the forces responsible for keeping Dawn safe."

Tara felt Willow’s fingers tighten on her own, and she held on desperately, afraid of drowning in terror if she were to loosen her grip at all.

"You? Aunt Bev, you’re supposed to watch over Dawn?" She shook her head. None of this made sense. It was impossible. "I don’t understand. How did you even get mixed up in all of this? How did you go from being a school-teacher in Dallas to being one of the people in charge of keeping a mystical key away from a hell god?"

Her aunt’s voice, to Tara’s ears, suddenly sounded so old as to be ancient. "I didn’t, Tara; not really." She drew a deep breath. "God, how do I even say this?"

She reached out and took Tara’s hand once more into her own, such that Tara was holding onto both her beloved and her aunt with a fierceness that would have surprised her before she met Willow.

"Tara, Sweetie—Dawn was created from energy; made flesh, made human, made real…to herself, to her family, to everyone who met her." She paused, then gave a sad attempt at a smile.

"We’re a lot alike that way."

*****

To Be Continued

*****

[The Rose24]

Another twist. You have really got me on the edge of my seat. Getting that vague answer fron Aunt Beverly is hard enough, and she still has more explaining to do. I can't wait to see what happens next.



I love your Haiku, BTW.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

Edited by: The Rose24  at: 7/10/03 10:13 pm

[Sela]

And the cliffhanger award goes to...



Geez, Mary, you really make us work for that "to be continued" don't you? I have the sweats, the shakes, and a little bit of eye twitching for good measure, but I appreciate that you are able to ilicit that type of response from boring ol' me.



That being said, I have to first commend you on your "exchange of info" scene. Now this part is an excellent example of what a talented writer you are. This isn't an especially exciting scene by way of action, nor is it a rallying scene with the scoobies, and it isn't even a completely romantic scene between Willow and Tara, but it is a scene that moves the story along with such an air of mystery, such confusion. It's the "opening a can of worms" type of interplay that is absolutely essential in order to keep the momentum of this fic going. And the best part is, it really does leave you a bit breathless. My first reaction to this was to grab my face between my hands and grunt. Now aside from the scary visual place I just took you to, my reaction illustrates how very invested in this story I am thanks to your wonderful storytelling.



Now on to Beverly...what a wild character she is! I'm really picking up on the metaphor of her. She might be a big ball of energy or she might be Glory's counterpart, but she's definitely NOT "of this world." And isn't that how we've all felt at some point or another? That we're not "from here" or that we don't belong in our families, in our towns, or in our lives? Beverly is the personification of those feelings, and she's magnified because she makes up her own rules. She's not defined by the people around her. She doesn't allow the negative parts of life touch her, the way we "normal" people do. She's what we all wish we could be, what we all wish we could say or do. She's us at our very best AND our very worst, at least by society's standards. Because while she may be the coolest, she also does things that make us socially uncomfortable. She breaks rules, of course never out of malice, but because it is her "nature." And that might be just a little disturbing for those of us who are so used to following unwritten rules of acceptable behavior. And given that, I both love and am a bit wary of her. I hope that made a modicum of sense. It is late, after all.



Alright, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I've learned that in your fics there are ALWAYS other shoes, of various shapes and sizes, often uncomfortable stilleto type shoes with pointy toes that can be very very dangerous if wielded well, at all, really ('cause pointy shoes with stilleto heels thrown at your head is never really "of the good"). See, now I'm getting silly. Take care, Mary and please update soon!



--Sela

[justin]

What just happened?



Here I am, ready for the big explanation about Aunt Bev and what do I see? "To be continued"



That can't be right. Maybe I misread it.



Nope there it is again, "To be continued"



You certainly believe in drawing the suspense out, don't you?



Am I ever looking forward to, anticipating and, yes even, longing for the next update

I understand, you should be with the person you l-love


I am

[tommo]

Good to see you posting an update, Mary. I miss this fic in between times when I can read it; and I've been looking forward to reading something, goodness, anything that might give me some clue as to what's going on.

Quote:

---

Beverly looked at her through narrowed eyes. "You don’t trust me, do you? You want to, but you’re not sure what just happened. You want me to go first."

---

Yeah, guess what? Willow and Tara ain't the only ones. I love how you can create such mistrust of Bev in your readership (namely me, that is, heh) whilst making her, ostensibly, such a likeable character.



Aha! I'm kind of sitting here holding up my finger, eyes widened in the knowledge that...um, well...I know something. Okay, so maybe I'm not really doing that, but I thought that Bev had to know something about Tara's mother. She couldn't have known her as well as she did without knowing about the witchcraft. Why in buggering hell didn't she say something earlier? Bah. Bloody Aunt Bev.



Ah...this is a chapter of revelations isn't it? I like how you've made Bev into some sort of mystical creature, like Dawn. That's a twist I didn't see coming. I think it's pretty apt that she fills this space in the story, especially as, thus far, you've woven in such ambiguity to her character from the outside in, that we were never sure what side of the line she was on. And, you know, we're still not sure either. That's a really nice way of exploring her character, I think. She's a "safe guard", as you put it, but she's also housing some kind of extreme power. And you know, there's the bloodline to think of as well. The mere fact that Bev is this type of mystical being, but also Tara's aunt throws up a whole heap of generational problems that I can't even begin to consider.



Can't wait to see where you're taking this next, Mary. Truly gripping. Thanks.

"Buffy's delusion is multi-layered. She believes she's some type of cheese..." ~ Cheddar Again

[russ]

Along with the other readers, I must say the "To be continued" is cruel, if not unusual, punishment. Ah well, you've mastered the "keep'em wanting more" principle.



It's a great relief to discover that nobody is romantically involved with Glory. Well, maybe not such a relief from Glory's point of view. Maybe she wouldn't be so grouchy if ... never mind.



The verbal exchanges here are excellent. The humour of the conversation contrasts well with the serious information being exchanged. Actually, information may never have been exchanged if not for Willow taking a page from Anya's book and blurting out the truth.



Apparently Beverly, whatever powers she may have, is almost as much in the dark as everyone else. She didn't know who the Key was until she saw her, was shocked to find out about Willow & Tara's extracurricular activities, and had to be reassured they were "the good guys."



Poor Tara doubts her own judgment because of her fears and uncertainties regarding a family member. Once again it's Willow, her "rock and her one abiding truth" that grounds her and enables her to go on.



And now Tara has to deal with the knowledge that the one family member she can trust and love is "made real" -- a creation of the monks just as Dawn is. Hallmark moment aside, I don't think this will be easy for her to handle. Just one more emotional trauma in an already complicated life.



Also have to wonder how Buffy is going to take the information that someone else has been sent to take care of her sister.



So Beverly is the anti-Glory; made human with as yet undefined powers to combat the hell god, coming complete with a lifetime of created memories and relationships. The difference from Dawn being that she knows from the beginning what she is, and what is going on. Those monks really liked to mess with reality, didn't they? All from the best of motives, of course.



I'm going away for a few days next week; if there's not an update before then, I'll catch up when I return.



Russ

[darkmagicwillow]

I have to echo Sela's comments (and get here earlier next time so I won't have to ;-) about how you made the discussion intriguing, getting me to lean forward into the screen so I could watch Beverly a bit more closely, to see what she's hiding as she cleverly draws all the relevant information out of W/T first.



Guardian or not, Beverly's evil because she managed to only tell W/T, and by extension, us, only one thing about herself in a whole chapter! How did she discover her nature? What can she do? Why does Glory know about her? When will Tara discover a normal family relationship? Where is the dryer lint? Wait, I know that one: Finland. But that doesn't excuse you from answering the others and soon! (-;



Oh, and when do I get my stuffed panda?

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 7/11/03 9:34 am

[Grimaldi]

great update although the to be continued was just cruel



so Aunt Bev is another protector of Dawn and is just like her, those monks probably should have let Buffy know some how that she wasn't the only one they chose to protect Dawn

I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
Oh, relax, Casper, I'm not here to interrupt your blissing. Too much makes you go blind, though, you know

[Puff]

Hi Mary What a wonderful update. From tha haiku at the beginning to the interaction between Willow, Tara and Bev. But not the threesome kind of interaction



I loved the build up of tension, how you made everything lead up to that one point and then boom, the quiet revelation and the imortal words to be continued. It really was edge of the seat stuff and like some many others I swear I leant forward to read it.



My favorite line has to be this

Quote:

---

"Finnish dryer lint," Willow commented randomly.

---

So out of the blue. So Willow. So God damn funny.



Thanks Mary, I look forward to reading more.

---

So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson

[SySnootles]

Well, just to go against the grain here,



I for one liked the way you ended the chapter. The anticipation is a good thing. It gives me something to look forward to every day when I sign on. Like waiting for a package to come in the mail. You know it will be coming, and the trip to the mailbox every day can be its own little adventure. I need a hobby.



Anyway, you keep me on the edge of my seat, and I couldn't be happier for it. The constant plot twists and turns are like candy for me. Also, the way there is all this strife and turmoil in Tara's life right now and the way she draws on Willow for her strength is just... heartwarming doesn't cover it. Romantic isn't exactly the right word either, but I think you know what I'm getting at. Seeing this through Tara's eyes gives their relationship another layer which I haven't seen very often. Thank you for this great fic. Keep those updates coming!