Fic - A Promise Once Made

[amberfan87]

<---thats for you jess..happy valentines!!!

<--- thats for julian!!!

<<--- thats to say im still alive and reading ur fic!!!

and....

<--thats for an update!!!

cyah around sis!



I SAW MARTIIINNN!!!!

[sam darls]

Oh gods..I hope Tara is okay. Graet update. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[jadeo0]

Washi - He might not get it yet, but he will.

The Rose24 - Yuppers. Vampires. *grin*

RedIshtar - Mmmmmmm...chocolate sauce. Yeah, Julian's a virgin. I still think he's a nice guy...just obsessed.

Imjustme - I know you guys won't like it, but...nothing much is gonna happen to Julian.

numbered words - Well, seeing as this fic IS in the Kitten, it'll be safe to say everything's gonna be happy ending.

allykat - Phew! Yay, you left his hair for me!

binding wiccan - Awwwww, don't cry! Here's the update.

Grimlock72 - Julian's a little too in love with Tara to think straight. And oooooo, you're picking up my plot holes too well! The horror-movie running scene is being used as just that , a plot filler. Woohoo! And no, Julian doesn't wanna eat Tara...but remember, Tara loves Julian too. She doesn't want to hurt him. He's her best friend, not just a random stalker. Makes it that much harder to turn him down (I've been trying to stress the notes of friendship in this fic).

Seldomly Naughty - Well, if you put it is NC-17, that means I can't read it either, you mean child! GRrrr, sis...and tongue pierced?

Arwen276 - Willow will always find Tara. Always

littlecrazy80 - Kick ass away, but please leave his hair

willowtree114 - Thanks. And unfortunately, no beating...yet. I still don't know what Willow's gonna do to him

marciam - I'm done Dreams (as you know). But please don't hurt him...much (he does deserve to be smacked a few times).

Shinnen - See? It rose, somewhat YAy!!!! *dances*

amberfan87 - Happy late Valentine's to you too, sis. Thanks for coming out from under your pile of school work (curse school, CURSE YOU)!

sam darls - Tara will be okay eventually.



Title: A Promise Once Made

Author: jadeo0

Feedback: Loved it? Hated it? I don’t care. Just tell me why and I’m a happy camper.

Disclaimer: This ain’t mine. None of it. Except for the dorky hotness of Julian (Mmm…).

Spoilers: Season 5 – This is set about 4 years after “The Body”

Pairings: W/T

Summary: A promise that Tara made in her teenage years is coming back to get her.

Rating: PG-13 – R, it depends, but I’ll give warning

Notes: As this is set in the future, and branches off from canon after Joyce dies, we’ll assume that Glory/Ben was defeated, and Dawn was saved in time at the tower. So Buffy lives, and life goes on with the slayage until Valentine’s Day, 2006.

       

Warning: There is a slight implication of the mention of rape. Beware.



Part Nine



        “Will. Willow!” Xander caught up to the determined redhead and grabbed her arm. “Freeze and rewind there, huh? Are you even sure that Tara’s in danger? For all we know, they could just be sitting in one of those fancy-shmancy restaurants daintily sipping at the specialty coffee with Julian staring at the bosom – I mean…Hey, look.” He spun Willow around so that they were facing each other. “Just don’t do something you’re gonna regret.”



        Willow nodded glumly. Looking away, she sighed. “I-I don’t know. It’s just that I don’t trust Julian at all – a-and I’m scared; scared that Tara will go with him, o-or be forced to go with him. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. A-and just the thought of Julian touching Tara or making her do anything she doesn’t want to makes rational Willow get thrown out the window and be replaced with Willow of the butch! I-I’ll do anything, anything to make sure she’s okay.” She broke down, sobbing. “I’m so scared,” she whispered.



        “Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Xander gathered the witch into his arms and lovingly stroked her hair. “Look, I know you’re worried. We’ll find her, huh? We’ll find her. Just promise me you won’t use that gun.”



        For a moment, Willow hesitated. She stared down at the cool metal object before slowly handing it over to Xander. “Okay.”



        “So where to, oh powerful witch?” Casually, in an attempt to lighten the mood, Xander swung his arm around Willow’s shoulders. “To the Pump or to the –“



        “Tara!” Willow froze, standing completely straight.



        “What?”



        “She’s in danger!” Willow could feel Tara’s fear. Tara?



        Willow! Tara was tired. Cornered. Help me!



        Willow began to run down the street, her bag smacking loudly against her leg.



        “Wait, Will!” Xander sprinted after her. “Where are you going now?”



        “The industrial district!” Willow was already turning the corner. “Tara’s in danger!”



                                        ~*~



        “Tara!” Roughly, Julian grabbed the blonde’s hands and pinned her against the wall, his body smashing into hers. “Stop running away.” He moved back slightly. “What the hell was that back there?” he whispered. “The car doors were locked and there’s no way that you’re strong enough to stop me from doing anything to you.”



        Tara held his gaze, putting on a strong front to cover the stench of fear she knew was oozing off of her. “Would you?” she asked, her eyes steel-blue. “Would you do that to me? Would you touch me if I told you not to?”



        Julian exhaled sharply, then sighed. “No.” He stepped back, letting Tara go. He looked down at his feet. “I wouldn’t. I would never hurt you.” He moved further away, bouncing up and down with hands crossed across his chest, much like a child who was being forced to apologize. “I’m sorry for all of this. I-I’ll leave you alone from now on.”



        “Y-you realize that you could go to prison for this –“



        “I know.” He inched towards the blonde. “Tara…” he pleaded.



        “Go, Julian.” Tara pointed the way back to downtown Sunnydale. “Just go.”



        The brunette nodded. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks as he inhaled and exhaled choppily. Gradually, he walked away, Tara once again staring after him like she had two days earlier.



        When he had disappeared from immediate view, the blonde followed, finally allowing herself to show any sign of emotion. As she had told Willow, it hurt to do this. She hated to have to continuously deny Julian what he wanted. But when what he wanted most was her love, which was something she was unable to give, Tara to had make Julian realize that all he had left was a false hope for an impossibility to turn around in his favour. Silently she cried, coming to terms with the fact that she had almost definitely lost her oldest friend.



        Tara remembered how she had once cried like this – when Julian had left New York ten years ago. At that time, deep inside her, she had felt a piece of herself fall away, dead, aware of the possibility that she would never see her friend again. Then, when Julian had shown up at her door mere days ago, her heart had rejoiced. It had rejoiced at once more finding a soulmate. Julian had been her soulmate, just as Willow was. They had had a connection from the moment they’d met – each understood and sympathized with the other. It was a bond completely different from what she shared with Willow; a bond of first friendship.



        Now, he was gone once more – and this time for good. Tara could already feel that part of herself, just beginning to heal, dying again. Part of her wanted nothing more than to run to Julian and beg him to stay here with her; to be in her life. Not as lovers, but as friends. Couldn’t they do that? Would Julian ever be able to learn to love her as she loved him? As a sister?



        “Tara, look out!” Suddenly, she felt herself being knocked down to the ground, her fall being accompanied by the horrible smell of bad breath and the sight of a disfigured face. Vampire. The blonde reached into her sleeve for a stake but realized that she hadn’t taken one with her as she’d left the house that morning, having not expected to stay out for so long. She cast a glance over at Julian, who was struggling with two other vampires. This was the end then. Tara knew her struggles would be futile as she was too scared to calm herself enough to cast. She’d known the risk of living in Sunnydale, and she knew she’d never regret it making it, but she wished that she could somehow say goodbye to Willow.



        “No! Get off her! Incende.” As the vampire lowered its head, fangs glistening, he exploded into flames. Willow had arrived. “Baby, you okay?” The redhead pulled Tara to her feet and enveloped her in a desperate hug, running her hands over the blonde’s figure in a quick check for missing body parts.



        “Julian,” Tara breathed worriedly, grasping Willow’s hand in hers as she prepared to cast. “Exussum animi.” The two vampires began to smoke and cried out in pain, clutching at their now-burning hearts, finally disappearing into the night.



        “Oh my god,” Julian whispered. He sank to the ground, shaking his head. “This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening.”



        Tara made to go to him, but Willow held her back momentarily. “We’re not finished yet,” she pointed out. “Give him this.”



        Tara nodded and went to Julian, who was curled up into a little ball on the ground, rocking back and forth. She tried to touch him, but he flinched away as if it hurt him for her to be so close. “Tara?” He glanced upwards, trembling. “W-what are you?”



        “I-I’ll explain everything to you after.” She pushed Willow’s stake into his hand. “Right now, take this. For protection.” Tara grasped his arm companionably, smiling encouragingly at him. “L-let’s do this, huh?” Julian nodded timidly, rising to his feet. His face took on one of a determined fellow as he raised his stake. “Strike at the heart, Julian. That’ll kill them.”



        Willow came over to them and took Tara’s hand. “Here they come!” she said cheerfully. Footsteps sounded in the dark, louder by the second. The witches nodded, and branches began to break themselves off the surrounding trees, ready to strike at the vampires. Julian stood tall, his fists up in anticipation of action.



        “Behind you!” Xander appeared at the end of the road, panting, a cellphone in his hand. Bent double, he pointed



        Once more Tara felt herself being knocked to the ground, this time belly-down. And once again, all hope of being rescued was erased. Willow had her own assailant to deal with, as did Julian. A sharp pain went through her body as she felt fangs sink into her ear. “The Slayer’s friend...” the creature hissed, stroking her hair, “your blood is exquisite, you know?”



        Tara closed her eyes, bracing herself for the bite that would end it all, while, as a last attempt, silently chanting...”Noo!” In an almost unrealistic rage, Julian plunged his stake into the heart of his vampire and lunged at Tara’s assailant, weapon brandished.



        “Away,” Tara breathed, sending the vampire on a collision course into a tree branch. She sighed in relief…just before Julian’s stake drove into her side.

It is with words as with sunbeams - the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.

-Robert Southey

Edited by: jadeo0 at: 2/17/04 4:00 am

[Washi]

no! Bad! No! No! You! I mean... YOU CAN'T STOP IT THERE!

I mean, wow, I so need more, wanna know what's gonna happen. God, Julian can be such a dummy. It's obvious he's obsessed with Tara, but that doesn't give him the right to take her away. And... damn him, talk about uncoordination! You got me all worked up here.

Great stuff. but update soon, okay?

-------------------



"See? I've mastered this tact crap." Anya in Tears Of The Goddess by Lisa



The course of love doesn’t always run smooth, especially for the neurotic and accident-prone. ~ LadyB



.:Dark-bliss.net :. .:Blink.Flash.Sparkle.:. .:My blog:. .:Blood and Ink:. .:Washi's 70s Site:.

[Arwen276]

Ok I'm GLAD that Julian finally realised how he was, but WHAT THE HELL???

I knew he would end up hurting Tara!



I so hate him ! lol EVEn if it's not his fault this time! and I'm sure Willow will agree





More pleasE!



~Arwen

[littlecrazy80]

I hate Julian! It´s his fault that Tara´s hurt. If he hadn´t tried to kidnapp her in the first place, she wouldn´t be hurt. I hope Tara will be ok and Willow should kick his ass really hard.



*lil´c*

I´m an actress... I don´t pee. Amber in Augsburg



SweetAmber

[The Rose24]

Ugh!



I am glad Julian realizes what a jerk he has been, but he puts Tara in more danger.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[marciam]

I wanted to reread this part before commenting. Now here goes:



JULIAN STOP TRYING TO BE THE FRICKIN' KNIGHT!!! Tara has Willow to fulfill all her nightly, er... knightly duties!



Maybe Tara can "accidentally" castrate him, hmm...



More... soon... please



Marcia

[Imjustme]

*tries to not freak out waiting for an update* Tara's ok RIGHT??! It was just an itty bitty scratch RIGHT??!

[Shinnen]

ARGH! stupidstupidstupid Julian! How can a man be so irritating ? oh wait... yes he can... I have class with one of that kinda man. Julian's a clumsy loser



Update please!!!! Update!!!

CheerZ

Shinnen



She's the most amazing girl in the whole world. She's the only girl who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. When I'm not with her, I'm not living. I'm not existing until I can hold her in my arms again.

[cnd1us]

there is no way that you can leave us like that..... first willow with a gun.... i mean damn talk about ironic,and then it's all good cause tara and her find each other desite juillan.. then the kluz stakes her..... i need an update soon..... and nomrally i don't post but damn i couldn't stop myself.... it is such a great fic.

so update soonish pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



cnd1us(cassie)

[gindog]

cnd1us is right that is very ironic...oh amazing fic, wonderfully written but could you update please... oh and one more thing Julian, not a nice man...then he turns klutz after he's a almost done realizing how much of a moron he is



Jen

Edited by: gindog at: 2/19/04 4:55 pm

[bindingwiccan]

loved the update (as always) willow with a gun is scary. guns are bad. cant wair for the update *twitch*









-bindingwiccan

[TaraBaby77]

JESS!!!! Okay, after reading all of your updates... I NEED MORE!!! Great updates, great fic... Mr. Pyscho was just about to get a can of 'you know what' opened on his butt. Anyhoo, keep up the great work and hope to see an update soon. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[warriorlove]

I knew that Julian was a wierd-O right away. What kind of person comes back for a girl to whom he proposed at the age of 14, after 10 years he hadn't seen her.



Nice work,

I can take care of her...even if she never...she's my girl.

[angelofinsanity]

my god Julian is a character we all hate!

too obsessed, too clingy, too stupid. i can't believe i LIKED him in the beginning. WHAT was i thinking?! Freak.

he should find himself something else to obsess with, like a plant. or a dog. or a life.



Tara really shoudn't have given him that stake, oh why do bad things happen to good ppl? *sniff*



on a brighter note: i liked how you choreographed the fight scene, it was easy to imagine what as going on and stuff in my head- so kudo's with you.



STacy

[Seldomly Naughty]

okay okay okay! I'm feedbacking are ya happy now...oooo...I like that song hee hee hee....*sings the song*.....*3 minutes pass* Are you happy noowww...are you happy now...*song ends* okay...done...I like this one..Okay now I want to castrate Julian with a dull spoon and sell his nuts as squids...I hate him...and you think he's a hottie...stupid heterosexual rapist like man....you should be ashamed of that character...he stabbed Tara...



S.C. me: *stops chasing Jess*he stabbed who

Me: didn't you read what I wrote I said he stabbed Tara

S.C. me: *eyes turn black* he must die

Me: *stares blankly* whoa!

S.C. me: *goes after Julian*...he must die I will eviscerate his manhood

Me: uh oh...Jess....*runs after S.C. me*....ummm see ya



Keep up the story...you know Willow's gonna kill him right...



Tisha

[Leafsdude7]

OUCH! The bastard did that on purpose, didn't he? Psycho bum.



Please post another update...I need to know what happens ASAP!



I hate being left in the dark :(

[sam darls]

Wow..that was so good. Grrr..I hate Julian. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[jadeo0]

Washi - Heehee. Well, you got the early read so :P!!! Thanks for beta-ing this part. And yes, Julian is an adorable wuss you just wanna hit and kick and hug

Arwen276 - Oh, Willow agreed alright. As did Buffy...and Dawn...and Anya...oh, and just about every other Scoobie.

littlecrazy80 - Tara'll be okay. Guarantee it

The Rose24 - Realizing there is a problem is the first step to solving the problem

marciam - LOL! Yes, Willow is DEFINITELY there to satisfy all of Tara's nightly/knightly needs (They should add a "fucking" emoticon"...Xita? )

Imjustme - We'll see about that...

Shinnen - Clumsy losers are hot! But then again, my taste....

cnd1us - Awww, thanks! If this fic is getting you out of lurkerism, rock on!

gindog - Julian IS a nice man! Stalkerish and obsessed, but nice!!!

bindingwiccan - Guns = bad for sure.

TaraBaby77 - AARON!!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!! Oh wait, it's a month later...still! AARON!!!! *jumps on top of Aaron and hugs him to bits. Not literally*

warriorlove - A lonely lonely man, that's who. Or just a hopeless romantic (guess who Julian was based off of )

angelofinsanity - If you liked him in the beginning, I'll give you, me, and the rest of the Kitten a pat on the back Houston? Mission Accomplished!

SeldomlyNaughty - Woohoo! Go Michelle Branch!!! *rants on and starts strumming guitar. breaks string* whoops No! No castrating! Especially with a dull spoon! Lol, Tish :P

Leafsdude7 - Of course not! Julian's a nice guy...although my arguments have no back-up whatsoever...

sam darls - No, don't hate Julian. *sigh*



Title: A Promise Once Made

Author: jadeo0

Feedback: Loved it? Hated it? I don’t care. Just tell me why and I’m a happy camper.

Disclaimer: This ain’t mine. None of it. Except for the dorky hotness of Julian (Mmm…).

Spoilers: Season 5 – This is set about 4 years after “The Body”

Pairings: W/T

Summary: A promise that Tara made in her teenage years is coming back to get her.

Rating: PG-13 – R, it depends, but I’ll give warning

Notes: As this is set in the future, and branches off from canon after Joyce dies, we’ll assume that Glory/Ben was defeated, and Dawn was saved in time at the tower. So Buffy lives, and life goes on with the slayage until Valentine’s Day, 2006.

Dedication: To everyone who has made a difference in my life. Nothing would be possible without you guys



Part Ten



        They sat on the bench, mist swirling wispily around them. It was chilly, not unlike a typical fall day in New York City, and they were alone. “Hey, um, Tara?” A younger Julian inched closer to the blonde. “Can I ask you something?”



        Tara remembered this. It had been ten years ago, on the first day of high school. “O-okay,” she managed.



        “You’ve…” Julian paused, and grinned nervously. “You’ve been the best thing in my life for two years now…and alright; I’ll just cut straight to the point. I like you, Tara. I like you a lot. I admire your strength, and I admire your courage. I want to know you as, er, more than a friend.”



        “Julian…” Tara froze. She had to say ‘no.’ She didn’t love him like this. It had been her reluctance to refuse her friend that had caused the events of the past few days.



        “Look, nothing big. Just for coffee or something.” He glanced at her, eyes shimmering hopefully.



        “Julian…” Tara touched his cheek with her fingertips. She knew what she had to do. She loved Willow. “I – I –“



        “I understand.” Julian turned away, staring down at the ground. He looked up and gazed at her longingly before placing his hands on the bench and standing up.



        “Wait. L-let me explain.” Tara reached out and grabbed onto her friend’s arm. “Please.”



        Julian didn’t face her, but he stopped, attentive.



        “I-I really do like you, Julian. It’s just that…” She looked away. Tara found it so hard to refuse him anything. He was like her brother. She didn’t want to deny him anything – she never had. Nevertheless, this time, she had to. “I love someone else.”



        Julian’s shoulders drooped noticeably, but then straightened again as he regained his composure. “How could you? I-I thought you loved me.”



        A menacing silence hung in the air as Tara stared at her friend. “I d-do.”



        “I don’t get it.” Julian spun around, his expression a cross between a wounded animal and a confused child. “First you say you love me then you don’t, now you do – and I wasn’t even talking about love! Sure, we might get there someday, but right now, I just want to get to know you better. Is there something wrong with wanting that?“



        “You’re l-like a brother to me, Julian.” The blonde looked away, tears spilling past her eyelids. “P-please, don’t l-let us lose this.”



        “You’re my always, baby.” A familiar redhead stepped out from the fog, gently smiling. She tilted her head to the side, beckoning for Tara to join her. “I’ll always find you.”



        Tara looked from Julian to Willow, to Julian. This was the turning point. Two paths were in front of her, and she could only choose one. Really, it wasn’t a difficult choice. She had chosen long before. She reached over to Julian and patted his thigh gently. “Please understand.” She walked over to Willow.



        Lovingly, the two Wiccans joined hands and smiled at the lonely boy on the bench. Silently, they turned around and began to move away into the mist.



        “Tara.” Julian’s voice called after them. They waited. For a moment, there was silence. “I understand,” he said dejectedly.



        Tara smiled, closing her eyes. Thank you, Julian, she thought to him, thank you. And they continued onto their path into the future, away from Tara’s past.



        Beep. Beep. Beep. Tara blinked groggily as blurry images came into view. She took in the washed-down walls of what was without a doubt a hospital room. Her memories were muddled, but she recalled being carried to Sunnydale Hospital by Buffy, her wound having been bleeding profusely. Gingerly, she touched her bandaged side. It still stung and she could feel a slight throbbing beneath the cloth.



        Willow’s yawn broke the pattern of the humming machinery as she stirred from what was obviously one of many troubled naps. “Mmmm..” she murmured, rubbing her red eyes. With a sniff, she took Tara’s hand in hers. “Hey, baby. How’re you doing?” The redhead stroked the blonde’s hand. “Please don’t die, okay? I know that Doctor Atkins says you’re fine and that the stake missed any vitals, but please get better soon, huh? It’s been three days and it’s so hard for me to sit here and not be able to hold you – well okay, I’ve held you a lot, o-or I’ve wanted to but been afraid that I might hurt you –“



        Tara squeezed Willow’s hand. “Sweetie. I’m here now.” Off Willow’s bewildered stare turned dazed happy look, the blonde smiled. “I’m okay. A-and sorry about the voice.” Tara turned away and coughed, trying to clear her raspy throat.



        “Tara!” Willow flung herself onto Tara, laughing with relief. “I was so worried that you wouldn’t be better,” she whispered tearfully.



        “It hurts now,” Tara managed. Willow’s impromptu squeezing was taking its toll on her.



        Immediately, the redhead disentangled herself and returned to her seat beside the bed. She took a hold of Tara’s hand and stroked it gently. “I’m glad you’re back,” she said. “We missed you.”



        “Tara!” Dawn appeared at the doorway and almost jumped onto Tara but remembered the blonde’s current state. “Tara.” Instead, she resorted to leaning on the wall, smiling dazedly. Like Willow, her eyes were also red and puffy from crying.



        “Dawnie.” Tara motioned for Dawn to come closer and opened her arms, inviting her in for a hug, which the brunette gladly accepted. She closed her eyes, smiling contentedly as she squeezed the younger woman resting in her embrace. “Dawnie,” she whispered.



        A quiet knock at the door interrupted the girls’ reunion. It was Julian, unshaven and unkempt. Scratches and bruises adorned his face, as well as the rest of his body judging from the way he held himself. “Hey.”



        “Get out.” Dawn walked over to the man and drew back her hand to slap him. Julian cowered, raising his arms to block the coming blows. Dawn’s arm fell. “I said ‘get out!’” She beat him again and again. “You’ve caused enough pain – I thought I told you to never come back!” Julian fell to the floor, broken – but Dawn didn’t stop. Instead, she mercilessly kicked his fallen body, her scream punctuating each hit.



        “Dawn, stop it!” Tara tried to get up but fell back onto the bed, breathing hard. Willow stood up and pulled Dawn away from Julian. “It’s okay.”



        “No, it isn’t,” whispered Julian. His voice was tearful, quiet. “I deserved every one of those.” Wincing, he sat up and huddled into a ball. “I’m so sorry, Tara…so so sorry…”



        “You should be.” Even while holding Dawn, Willow’s loathing towards Julian was painfully obvious. “How dare you come back to see her! Didn’t Buffy’s fists pound into your mind that Tara doesn’t wanna see you?”



        “I w-wanted to say good-by –“



        “You!” Anya appeared in the doorframe, hands on her hips. “You…” She grinned, rubbing her hands together. “Xander stopped me last time, but now…” The ex-demon threw her head back and laughed. “Prepare to lose your sexual organs.”



        “Anya!” Tara stared at her friend, disgusted.



        “What? I can’t have my fun?” Anya shrugged and pulled a chair over to sit down beside Willow, who had let go of Dawn and returned to her seat. “And really, he deserves it. If I still had my powers, I’d make boils grow on his penis, then eviscerate his testicles.” From his spot in the corner of the room, Julian yelped. “But I’m not a demon anymore, so all I can do now is scare people if I want to have any fun.” She crossed her arms, pouting.



        Tara smiled, amused. Even after so long, Anya was still fuming about her fall from grace in the demon circle. It was entertaining to watch her friend go on and on about the cons of humanity.



        “Hey, I’m trying to be nice here! Don’t laugh at me!” The ex-demon turned from left to right, glaring at all the occupants of the room.



        “Nice?” Willow chuckled. “Threatening to disembowel a man does not count as nice.”



        “It does if you’ve actually done it,” Anya said in a small voice, frowning deeper than before.



        “I-I’m g-gonna go.” Julian slowly got to his feet. “G-good bye, Tara.” Shaking, he began to walk out the door.



        “Wait! Julian!” Tara reached out a hand towards her friend. “Stay f-for a while.”



        “Baby?” Willow glanced confusedly at Tara, eyebrows raised.



        “J-Julian and I need to talk,” said Tara. She squeezed the redhead’s hand. “Alone.”



        “A-are you sure?” I don’t want him to hurt you.



        “He won’t hurt me anymore,” Tara stated firmly. I trust him, Sweetie.



        I can’t be sure. Last time you were alone with him, I almost lost you. Willow captured Tara’s gaze. I won’t let him hurt you again. Ever.



        “Will…” Tara’s blue met Willow’s green as an unspoken argument took place. It went on for minutes as the others looked on, awaiting the verdict. Neither would back down – both sides were fuelled by love.



        Finally, Willow looked away, defeated. I may not trust him, Tara, but I trust you. She leaned over and lovingly kissed the blonde’s forehead before getting up and moving to just outside the door. “I’ll be here if you need me,” she said.



        Anya and Dawn followed suit, leaving but hovering just outside the hospital room, neither taking their eyes off Julian for even a second.



        Slowly, as if walking down death row, Julian made his way towards the bed and sat down in Willow’s vacated seat. He looked down – anywhere but Tara – and twiddled his thumbs.



        “I’m sorry, Tara,” he whispered. “For everything. I-I’ve caused all of you so much pain and worry – why couldn’t I take ‘no’ for an answer? I mean, what a stubborn ass I’ve been.” He looked down at his hands, staring at them in fear. “I-I-I hurt you! I became your father, Tara. I hurt you. I hit you. I tried to kidnap you. E-even if you loved me, I wouldn’t deserve you.” Tears flooded down his cheeks, leaving tiny wet marks on his khaki pants. “I’m so sorry. So so so sorry…”



        “Julian, i-it’s okay.” Tara reached out and held the man’s hand. “I forgive yo –“



        “How can you do that, Tara?” Julian wondered aloud. “How can you be so kind to me? I’ve done nothing to deserve any of this!”



        “It’s because I love you.” Julian’s eyes widened. “As a best friend – as a brother,” she clarified. “Y-you were there for me when no one else was. I c-could never repay you for that.”



        “Stop it.” A small smile made its way to the surface as Julian wiped at his tears with a shirtsleeve. “I fell in love with you because of this. W-when we were together, I screwed up so many times – but every time I came back to you, you forgave me. You would hold me – “ Despite her obvious pain, Tara pushed herself up on her elbows and motioned for Julian to move closer. Finally with a soft grunt, she threw an arm over his neck and held him. “– just like that.” Julian’s voice wavered as a new torrent of tears streamed down his face.



        It was a moment of remembrance as they held each other. They forgot those lonely years, and they were both once again fourteen years old, on any icy cold bench, saying good-bye. Tears stained cheeks, sobs sounded unashamed, and whispers of eternal friendship were exchanged. Both Tara and Julian knew that this was without a doubt their last meeting in this life – their tale had drawn to a close. Julian couldn’t stay – to remain would mean to have to face the love he could never fully have day after day.



        “You’ll find ‘her’ someday,” Tara assured him, stroking his hair. “She’s out there waiting for you.”



        “I’d thought I’d found her up ‘til now,” whispered Julian, squeezing his eyes shut and inhaling the scent of Tara’s scent, engraving it into his memory once more. For the final time, he reminded himself. “How do I go on, Tara? You’re the first and last thing on mind when I wake up and go to bed – where do I go from here?”



        “You live, Julian,” breathed Tara, “you live. It’s time to let me go, and look to the road in front of you.” She kissed his cheek once, then pulled back and kissed his other cheek. “You need to live in the future now, ‘kay?”



        “It’s so hard though.” Julian brushed away Tara’s tears with his fingertips. “When I was in Vancouver, I would dream, every night – I would dream of you. Your hair…” He twirled a lock in his hand. “…your eyes…” He leaned in and kissed both lids. “…your smile…” His fingers traced her lips longingly.



        After a long moment of silence, Tara leant in and brushed her lips against his, sharing their first and last kiss. “Goodbye, brother,” she murmured. In unison, they took shuddering breaths, each waiting for the other to say something more.



        At last, Julian kissed Tara’s forehead and pulled her in for a final hug. He squeezed her to him tightly and let out a tiny whimper before letting go. “Goodbye, sis.” Shakily, he removed a sealed letter from his jacket pocket and laid it on the bedside table. “There isn’t much in there that I haven’t already said, but I wanted you to have it. Please, remember me?”



        “That’s not even a question,” said Tara. “You’re family. I never f-forget family.”



        “I’m gonna go now…was never much good with goodbyes.” With a little wave, Julian got up from his seat and walked to the closed door. He opened it and stepped outside.



        Smiling sadly, Tara picked up the letter that lay beside her and tore open the seal.



        Tara,



        I don’t know how to start letters. You know me, I’ve always been horrible at this kind of stuff. What can I say? I’m sorry, I guess. I’ve never said those words to anyone but you. They’re special.



        The first time I saw you, I thought you were an angel. You bumped into me, and as you bent to pick up your books, you looked up at me from behind your hair – you were so beautiful, so…innocent. Right then and there, I wanted your friendship. I’ve never regretted that. You’ve been the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for. But you could never give me what I wanted most, I now realize. Your love.



        When I was away from you, that’s what gave me reason to go on – that you would be waiting for me on the other side of that road of hardship. But I guess all my hope was in vain, huh? What could I expect? Ten years – of course you’d found someone else. I can’t believe you found a girl, but whatever eh?



        I’m sorry it took so long for reality to bite me in the ass. I’ve hounded you and your friends for the past few days, a stubborn idiot who just wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. But I understand now – you belong to another, not me. I was so stupid to think that you would still want me after I upped and left New York so long ago. But hey, I guy can hope, right? So I did – and I found you.



        Now I’m rambling…so I’ll end this as quickly as possible. This Willow, she loves you and I can tell you love her too (once again, sorry for being so stalker-y and trying to kidnap you and everything). If she ever hurts you, just give me a call (the number’s on the back of this letter) and I’ll come over and hurt her. Really, the only thing I think I can do to truly apologize and repay you for all the shit I’ve caused is to go away. But I’ll always be here for you.



                                                                        Good-bye,

                                                                        Julian



        The piece of paper was stained with tears, both fresh and old. Tara shook her head, breathing hard. Reverently, she held it to her heart, breathing a silent prayer to the Goddess, begging that he would find happiness.



        “You dropped this.” Willow offered a small photograph to Tara as she closed the door and sat down once again by the bed. She glanced at it and smiled. “You looked cute back then too.” The redhead had never seen any pictures of the teenage Tara – none existed…except for this one.



        It was a snapshot of Julian and Tara just outside of school, arms around each other’s waists. “I didn’t know he kept that,” she said in awe.



        “He really loves you, doesn’t he,” said Willow.



        “Yeah, he does.” Silence.



“Tara?”



        “Yeah, Sweetie?”



        “Nothing.” The redhead lifted the sheets and joined her fiancée beneath the covers, sighing contentedly as she snuggled into Tara’s uninjured side. “Good night, baby. I love you.”



        “Mmmmm,” Tara moaned in affirmation, closing her eyes. She began to stroke her hand up and down Willow’s back, softly humming a lullaby.



        “Why didn’t you go with him?” asked Willow. “He could offer you so much – safety, love, a good home. You wouldn’t have to worry so much about the next demon. You could think about children, l-little Taras and Julians –“



        “Because I love you,” Tara stated, without a trace of doubt in her voice. “You’re so stupid sometimes, you know? I love you, and I don’t know how to make you understand that, Sweetie. I have everything I could ever want in you and you alone.”



        “Of course I know that, Tar.” Willow giggled and blew a raspberry on Tara’s neck. “Just wanted to hear you say it again.”



        “Meanie.” Tara snorted and tickled Willow’s neck, making the redhead twitch and let out an ‘eep.’



        “No more!” Willow wailed after a few seconds. “You win, you win!”



        “I always do,” Tara said smugly.



        “We’ll see about that when we get out of here.” Willow stuck out her tongue and licked Tara’s neck, leaving a wet trail from collarbone to ear.



        “Ooooo…vixen.”



        “And don’t you know it.” Willow snuggled down between Tara’s breasts and sighed, content and secure for the first time since Julian had shown up. Tara was hers. They were in love, and by Jove, she was gonna marry her. But one more thing stood between them and the near-perfect relationship. “Oh, and baby?”



        “Yeah, Sweetie?”



        “No more secrets, ‘kay?”



        Tara nodded. “No more secrets.”



        “Goodie. Now, let’s make with the restage.”







Well, this is the end, Kittens. Thanks for coming along for the ride. I know I had fun Thanks for the feedback, and just plain ol' reading the updates (I need the ego-boosts :P). You guys rock!

It is with words as with sunbeams - the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.

-Robert Southey

Edited by: jadeo0 at: 3/23/04 12:37 pm

[The Rose24]

Wow. This is a great ending. I definitely loved the last scene with W/T.



Julian has finally come to his senses and things seem to be okay with him and Tara. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[warriorlove]

That was a beautiful story...Well done!



And Anya was awesome...



“Prepare to lose your sexual organs.”



Great line

[amberfan87]

hey sis! its been long...and well, ur fic is finished. sorry if i wasnt able to leave lotsa feedbacks. school and stuff...and LOVE...hehehe... anyways, its has been an amazing fic!!! hheheh. thanks for the story....til ur next fic....how about simu being the lead?!!!hgeheheheh...or the antagonist..heheh...lol....next fic, include my name in ur characters and....u know..hahah..lol...jk jk jk!!hehehe

cyah sis

thanks for all the help

mwah

leslie

[littlecrazy80]

A great ending to a great story. Finally Julian realized what an asshole he was. I hope there will be a sequel.



*lil´c*

I´m an actress... I don´t pee. Amber in Augsburg



SweetAmber

[Karmah]

Jess

hey sorry I haven't left you feedback before I am an arse what can I saw lol. This fic was great I love the way you show the range of emotions in the characters.

Ok I am probably going to be flailed for this but I felt bad for Julian I mean yeah he was wrong and he knows he was wrong but I dunno its Tara and if any one can elicit such a reaction from anyone it would be Tara and he truly does love her he was just a lot misguided and an in the end he saw that. I hated that Tara got hurt over it. Great job I hope to read more from you soonish

Arron

[amazonaa]

that was great. i wonder if they have any more secets they never told each other.





good job.





brittney

[sam darls]

Wow..that was so great. I loved it..and I turned to like Julian Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[Shinnen]

Great ending. I still don't like Julian... but great ending nonetheless.

CheerZ

Shinnen



She's the most amazing girl in the whole world. She's the only girl who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. When I'm not with her, I'm not living. I'm not existing until I can hold her in my arms again.

[Kerrison20]

Wonderful ending to a wonderful story. Any sequels?



Lisa

~~~~~~~~~

Tara beamed up at her lover. Willow Rosenberg, shy, unassuming computer geek was about to fuck her girlfriends brains out. Oh God yes baby, bring it on. -Three Months By WillowPowered

[lil wiccan]

Great fic! awww... it's over... julian wasn't that bad... heheh

"How can i/ Beleive that my heart will find/ Someone like you/ You see the really me/ No in betweens/ I had nowhere to hide/ You took away the walls around me/ Make me feel safe to share my truth/ I see the heavens open/ A heart that once was broken/ It's holding nothing back/ Now that i found you