Wow. And I mean wow. So far I’ve only read the first part and a bit of the second part, but I’m already swept away. I’m amazed by how accurate you can pinpoint Tara’s insecurities, Willow’s almost clinical sadness about not knowing who anyone is, who she herself is. I especially liked this sentence:
“Tara didn’t have the heart to tell her she acts more like herself when she’s not trying at all.”
I think this sums them both up perectly. Willow as always trying too hard, wanting to go too soon, while Tara is so caring that she refuses to hurt Willows feelings by telling her just that. And even in all the stillness of your story, you still can find the Willow we all know and love behind it:
“Willow’s sat on the bureau, organized by what time of day she had to take them. The morning pills were on the right (“Well that’s east…like the Sun.”), the lunch pills in the middle, and the dinner and night pills on the left.”
I like how you chose the first person to be Willow. It pulls you into her world, which otherwise would be practically unaccessible.
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BTW, just on a sidenote, I really love your one-line-summary
“What happens when you lose yourself?” ‘cause, well, you know, that’s a realllly good question.
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I like your Anya
“I just want everybody to be better. These feelings hurt.” She began to tear up and swatted at the droplet running down her cheek. “Stupid human emotions. I just want Willow to be okay and she called me her friend.”
This line reminded me of The Body, in which no one could understand how upset she was by coming in contact with death. I think you’re portraying her brilliantly and it’s great to see her and Willow get along.
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“I was in too many pieces and I didn’t know where any of them belonged.”
Poor Willow. All torn up and everybody avoind to tell her the truth isn’t making things better. She’s smart, haven’t her friends figured that out yet? They should have guessed she would find some things out on her own, and that that would be a lot scarier than when they told her about it…
That’s not saying that I don’t understand Buffy. I’ve always liked Buffy and I really can see where she’s coming from – she’s probably even more scared than anyone, ‘cause she always, since the beginning, felt guilty for dragging Willow (and Xander) into her world. She probably wishes to make up for that somehow, to protect Willow, instead of be protected by Willow. ‘Cause after all, protecting is still her job and I think that that’s the only thing that makes sense to her.
I’m glad Tara told her in the end. And yay, Miss Kitty Fantastico is back!
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“Xander was just Xander…not being larger then life must be hard for him with this group.”
I liked that she realized this immediately. I’ve always felt for Xander. It’s amazing how he has managed so long among a group filled with superheroes!
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“and will she want this broken thing if it can’t be fixed?”
Poor Willow. She must be so incredibly scared. She’s heard all these amazing stories about herself, stories she can’t even remember and people expect her to be that same person again. It’s quite a person to live up to, even if she was that person herself. It must be so hard and so intimidating!
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“But I should have been given the opportunity to decide. I still want that opportunity. Let me see your world. Let me decide if I can live in it, okay?”
I’m glad Willow is able to give Buffy a second chance
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Tara’s insecurities are so real that they hurt.
“This person who was failing to give Willow the life she so richly deserves.”
She’s – again – blaming herself for things she can’t be blamed for. Things she shouldn’t blame herself for. I’d like to put an arm around her and tell her that, ‘cause there doesn’t seem to be anyone around she can talk to about her insecurities…
Oh, wait, I was too early. I’m glad you didn’t make Buffy into the not-likeable person a lot of kittens seem to see in her. In your story she’s there for Willow, and for Tara, and she’s able to tell them she’s sorry. That’s the Buffy I’ve seen and loved.
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“It didn’t take a grand gesture to show how much she really cared. A thousand tiny ones would do.”
So true, so true. A thousand tiny ones are probably even better. Grand gestures can way more easily be misinterpreted.
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I’m glad you didn’t start with the spell. First there was a rebuild of trust between everyone, and only then the spell would really be an effort worth its while. I’m glad you didn’t rush Willow or anyone else into it.
I don’t really see everyone’s concern about bringen het memories back. I mean, when a person loses his memories in a natural way, everyone hopes and prays for a way to bring them back, to get them back. Why would it be different now she’s lost them in a magical way?
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I can see why you turned the story in a way that Willow has lost her magical abilities and gave Willow and Tara a second chance. I didn’t really like that part – I’ve always been a firm believer that magic is part of who she is, and that takig that away from her changes her forever, makes her a different person. But I can see your choice.
“In each of their own ways they were saying, You may never be the same again, but you will never be alone.”
“Because whenever something is lost, if it is sacred enough, it can always be found once more.”
I liked these sentences, really emotional…
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In the end, personal preferations aside, I liked you wrapped this story up. You gave them a new life, still tangled with the old one they had. They still have friends who feel like family, but they also have a whole new life, and shared memories. Thanks for writing this story and letting us into your world.
I'm sorry for the long feedback, but you just shot up there amongst my favourite writes with this one story. I just couldn't let it pass.