The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 1:50 pm 
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3. Flaming O

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:45 am
Posts: 65
Location: out threre
Title: Truth or Dare
Author: Freakgirl105 aka Zoë
Feedback: Please...
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own any charcater except Jake, Andrew and Victoria.
Email: freakgirl105@yahoo.com
Note: This is my first fanfic...so please don't kill me! Thoughts are italics.

**********
Willow was taking a stroll through the town because it was such a beautiful day outside. Um… should I go to the Magik Box to see if Buffy and Faith have plans later? Willow was quickly pulled out of her thoughts do to the honking of a truck. Then, out of the corner of her eye, Willow spotted a blonde girl walking across the street who apparently was too caught up in her thoughts to realize that the truck my coming right for her. Willow quickly ran to the other side of the road and pushed the girl out of the way. With only a few seconds to spare Willow quickly jumped out of the way of the truck, accidentally landing on the girl. She had the most amazing blue eyes, Willow had ever seen in her life. Everyone ran over the two young ladies, “Are you both ok?”

Willow answered first, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

She then looked down on the girl and helped her to her feet.

“Are you ok?" Willow asked.

The girl said, “I’m fine, and th-thank you so much."

Everyone then walked away like nothing had happened.

“What is your name?" Willow asked.

“My na-name is Tara, and w-what is your name?”

“Willow...you can call me Will.”
**********
5 month later
**********
Willow and Tara had become very close since the near accident. They were a pair, a team. No one could separate the two, except Jake. Jake was Willow’s friend. Tara hated the fact that Willow and Jake spent a lot of time together. He got in the way of Willow and their friendship. Willow hadn’t told Tara one of her deepest secrets, that she was gay. I think I should tell Tara about me, being the way that I am…I mean that I’m gay. How would she react? Would she still be my friend? She will probably run away from you Rosenberg, geez... you are such a geek. You sit here and babble on and on about nothing. Tara will hate you if you tell her that you are gay! You can’t tell her. Not yet anyway. Willow thought to herself.

“Hey, Tara, can you help find an outfit to wear? Jake will be here soon!

”Tara came running up the stairs. “Of c-course, I’ll help!” Tara picked out an outfit that she liked Willow in.

I think I should tell Willow…I think I have to tell her... I’m gay! How in the world am I going to explain this to her? She is straight…urgg I just need to tell her. I really hope she doesn’t run away from me like the people did where I used to live. Tara thought to herself, and then she started panicking.

“Willow, I’m gay!” Tara covered her mouth surprised at what she just told Willow.

Willow looked up stunned by Tara’s revelation. On the upside Willow was dancing on the inside, because now she could tell Tara she was gay too. However, just at the moment someone called.

“I should answer that,” Willow said.

“Hey Will! What is up? I just wanted to tell you that Faith and I are going out! So, how is Tara?” Buffy said excitedly!

“I’m so happy for you Buffy! Oh, and Tara is good. Why do you ask?” Willow said questionly.

“Oh, um…no reason! I have to go. Bye Will. Love ya”, Buffy said.
Buffy didn’t even give Willow a chance to say goodbye before she hung up the phone. Willow had about 5 minutes now to get ready. Willow was going crazy looking for her shoes but Tara found them. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Tara went to answer the door.

“Hey Tara, is Will ready? Hey I got an idea how about you come out with us?”

“Hold on let me go ch-check, and no thanks.” Tara said as she ran up the stairs.

Willow came down the stairs a few minutes later and said goodbye to Tara.
**********
Later that night
**********
Tara was asleep with a magik book in her hand. She wanted to brush up on her spells a little bit. Willow and Tara didn’t do magik a lot, but every once in a blue moon; they would do a spell for the fun of it. Willow and just got home and seen Tara currled up with the spell books.Willow went pick up the book. She felt Tara reach for her arm.

“I’m sorry, I woke you up," Willow said. Tara just shrugged.

“H-how was the date?” Tara said while yawning.

“What date?” Willow replied.

“You and Jake went out for dancing, and dinner remember?”
Willow started to chuckle and the blonde beauty has a confused look plastered on face. “Tara, Jake and I are both gay.”

“OH…I mean wow…oh.” That’s all Tara could get out. I thought they were dating for sure. I mean dinner and dancing…how could I not see she was gay? What didn’t she tell me sooner? Why? How? When? Was all Tara could think. Until she got a sniff of Willow’s breath.” No more Japanese food for you," Tara said as she plugged her nose.

Willow then picked up at pillow and started a pillow fight.

“Ok, now that I’ve won the pillow fight what do I get?” Tara replied with a naughty smile.

Willow said, “Hmmmmm… lets me think about it...”

Just then she hit Tara upside the head with her pillow.

“Gee…thanks!" Tara said in sardonic way.

Willow then said, “Hey I saved your life remember?”

“OH…are we r-really going there!” Tara replied.

Then, Willow looked into those beautiful blue eyes. “What are you looking at?” Tara asked.

“Oh… um… nothing sorry. I was just thinking," Willow answered.

“What are you thinking about?” Tara questioned Willow.

Willow then said, “Me, you …everything really”.

“You, as in me?” Tara said almost surprised.

Willow thinks about me? Since when? I wonder if she is…she can’t be. There is no way. …she doesn't like me.Would she be interested in me? Would I be interested in her being interested in me? Tara thinking to herself.

“Yeah, you are the best person I know," Willow replied.

Both girls were startled when they heard a knock at the door.

“Hey guys, it's Faith and me," Buffy said walking in the house.

“Hey Red. Hey Sexy!" Faith said.

“FAITH," Buffy said. Buffy put on her little puppy face.

“Hey baby, I’m sorry”, Faith said kissing Buffy.

“Mmm…me likey!” Buffy said in response.

“So girls, are you up for some action?” Buffy and Faith said looking at each other innocently.

“What?” Tara asked in utter shock.

“What my wonderful sexy girlfriend is trying to say are you both up for a game? See we were bored and we figured you guys might be up practicing spells since it’s a blue moon tonight.” Faith said.

“S-Sure we are in.” Tara said after looking at Willow.

“The game is Truth or dare!!!” Buffy told Willow and Tara.

“Let’s start baby," Faith said.

The game went on for a while before Buffy asked Tara if she liked Willow as more than a friend. Tara then blushed in response to the question.

“Waa?” Willow asked surprised by not only the question, but also by the answer.

“Ok Red, it’s your turn...truth or dare?” Faith said.

“Dare!” Will said.

“I dare you to kiss Tara.” Faith said.

Willow looked at Tara and got a silent, go ahead. When, Willow kissed Tara sparks were flying! They both got so caught up in the kiss. Buffy and Faith retreated before Willow and Tara ever realized they left. Buffy and Faith kissed in celebration on their successful mission. Willow and Tara stopped kissing, but neither knew what to say. They both went to bed in their rooms in silence. They were both a little shocked by what had just happened. A few hours later, they both fell asleep.
**********
The next day
**********
Willow was the first to wake up. Thoughts raced through her mind. Did I really kiss Tara? Am I supposed to act different around her? Do I like her as a girlfriend? Do I explore my feelings for Tara? Wait! Do I have feelings for Tara…I mean more than a friend? If I don’t have feeling for her…NO…I have feelings for her, but how do I feel for her? When did I start to have feelings for her? What am I supposed to do? Willow decided not to make anymore of it. Willow went out for a walk. Tara woke up from the sound of the front door closing. Tara got up and started dancing for joy. Tara didn’t know how long she could keep her feelings to herself. I’m in love! Love! Love! Love! She sang to herself silently. What about Willow? How does she feel? Does she love me? Does she even think of me? Willow is the most beautiful, amazing, and honest person, I know. Wait i know she thinks about me! She told me! I love that woman! Tara decided it was time to get up and clean the house. Tara waited for Willow to get home, but by the time it became late there was nothing left for Tara to clean. Willow came back home about 1:00 AM. Tara had fallen asleep on the floor. Willow stared at Tara for a few minutes before she decided to let her know how she felt. Tara felt a small tap on the shoulders.

“Hey,” Tara said rolling over so she could see Willow.

“Hey, um... I really need to talk to you. I need to tell you that I love you. I love you, no matter where you are. I think about you all the time. I just need to know one thing... do you love me and when did you know? Why didn’t you tell me you at least like me?” Willow said.

“Oh…o-oh. Tara was kind of shocked by the revelation her best friend, had just told her. “I-I w-was scared of what you might think of me…so that i-is why I-I-I didn’t tell you that I love you! I’m so happy, I think I could just…"Tara didn’t have time to finish her sentence, before she realized what Willow was doing. Willow and Tara kissed each other lovingly and then parted.

Willow had something to say to the love of her life. She kneeled down on one knee.“Tara, baby…I know it’s soon, but I want to spent the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me Tara? Please do me the honor of being my bride, my one and only true love. Tara sat down next to Willow and kissed her! “Baby? Is that a yes or a no?” Tara kissed Willow again.

“Most definitely yes!”
**********
1 year later
**********
Willow and Tara got married on Valentines Day. Willow wore a black tux for the wedding and Tara wore a white dress. They also adopted a little girl who was 5 years old. Her name is Victoria Raine Rosenberg. Buffy and Faith got married too. Jake eventually found the man of his dreams, his name is Andrew. Willow and Tara Rosenberg lived a happy peaceful life.

The End. Sorry folks...that's all.

_________________
''You think you know... what's to come... what you are. You haven't even begun.'' – Tara


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 Post subject: Re: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:25 pm 
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2. Floating Rose

Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 2:57 pm
Posts: 26
Location: Texas
Okay, no one ever gives constructive criticism so here goes (And I can't help but use some humor/sarcasm when writing something like this):

1-Okay...well, that might be a good summary of a story...
2-Why must every fan fiction start with Willow and Tara bumping into each other?
3-It's one think to get to the point and not drag on with some story line that no one cares about and a lot of us just skim through to get to the smut, it's another to just keep saying "5 months later, later, later than night, a year later, etc..." and never building any plot line whatsoever.
4-Willow goes from not knowing whether she has feelings for Tara to proposing to her all in the same section/10 minute time period.
5-I know it's your fic and that you can do what you want, but Willow wouldn't wear a tuxedo...I thought these fics were for those of us who have Willow/Tara fetishes not someone who looks similar to Willow but doesn't act like her/Tara fetishes.
6-You basically just took the most often used plotlines from all the fics and integrated them into a summary.
7-At least your punctuation and spelling were good.


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 Post subject: Re: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 5:37 pm 
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30. Sweaty and Kinda Gay
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:17 am
Posts: 5210
Location: Oregon
Hi there sweetie. First off, I'd like to say congratulations on your first story. In my opinion it takes a lot of guts to put something of yourself down in writing and then share it with the world. It can also be a little scary to open yourself up to possible criticism, constructive or otherwise. I know from experience, so I'd like to say; welcome into the club. :-D

I really thought your first attempt at Willow/Tara fiction had a lot of good points/moments. I liked the way they met, though...I would have liked to see a little more about their reactions to each other. And it did seem a little bit rushed the way Willow rescued Tara (though I guess a rescue of that sort would have to be rushed huh? :lol ) Basically, my thoughts on the first segments are as follows:

1. You set up a really excellent situation right off the bat. You have Tara in danger and Willow primed to save her (can't go wrong there )

2. You kinda (like I said before) rushed through the saving and the introductions with a little too much gusto. I hardly had time to catch my breath after Tara was heroically swept from the path of oncoming traffic before the gang had rushed upon them and everyone had said their Hi/hellos. I would have liked to see more interaction there.....maybe something along the lines of "Oh my Goddess! Thank you so much for saving my life!" :lol (It doesn't really have to be that dramatic either )

3. I liked the Jake/Willow idea (yes it's been done before, but so have all the classics. My motto is: if it's been done before it will be done again...the thing is to do it better. ) And I also like that later on it's revealed that Jake does indeed lean toward the "not-so-straight" side of the tracks, that was a really good twist. But once again, I'd like to say that a little "fleshing out" sometimes goes a long way. I (as a reader) hadn't really gotten a chance to "feel" Tara's pain over the whole Jake/Willow misunderstanding, (on the average it takes me more than a couple paragraphs, to really get the inside track of what's going on inside a character's mind, even when reading the best of writers.) before I was being whisked away into the next "later that night"

4. I liked that Tara was honest with Willow about her feelings...that took a lot of guts. However at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder why Willow had simply ignored what Tara said. And I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't so much as acknowledge what Tara told her, then later that night she came back and was ready to tell Tara that she'd been having the same feelings? It didn't really make sense, because Willow seemed so casual in the way she'd said it.

Quote:
“You and Jake went out for dancing, and dinner remember?”
Willow started to chuckle and the blonde beauty has a confused look plastered on face. “Tara, Jake and I are both gay.”


Why didn't she just say that earlier when Tara was all making with the soul baring?

And then we get to the conclusion....which was basically a summery of future events that held little or no substance to me (as a reader) because I never had a chance to get emotionally involved with characters.

If you would like a suggestion....and I'm going to assume you would welcome one, since you did post this in a forum where people are likely to make comments... My suggestion is that you find a beta, start from the beginning of this story, and re-write your way through it. I think this tale has a really great premise and with a little "fleshing out" and a tweak here and there it could be a really great read.

Thank you for sharing this...

ETA: I hope I didn't come off all pretentious, cause I really wasn't trying to be. I certainly know that I am no expert in the fine art of crafting a readable story...(and to illustrate that point, I'm currently in the process of re-writing the first story I ever wrote...after re-reading it for the first time since writing it, I was sorrowful to admit that it was a little.....what's the word? Ahhh.....Crappy. :lol ) I didn't point out anything I did tonight, to make you feel bad in any way, I just wanted to offer a little helpful advice, and I do hope that you will take it as such. Very few of us turn out something perfect on our first try....but don't let that stop you from continuing to write and post...cause I really do think you have something worthwhile here. Thank you again.

xoxo
Emms

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Last edited by Emms on Mon Oct 24, 2005 6:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 6:09 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2005 8:50 pm
Posts: 225
Location: québec, canada
Hmm, just to make it a happier note. Yeah, kinda like a summary. Of course, if that's your first fic, it's a bit normal. Judging by your 'writing style', you're not exactly an experienced writer. Using too many names instead of pronouns, making short~not exactly styled sentences. There is no getting really in the story, it's like you keep us on the surface. The thoughts are well written, but it's from such and over-look that it doesn't fit with the rest.

Don't be discouraged, we all have to start somewhere. It takes guts to post your first fic, and so I admire you (hehe, my turn soon, just waiting for a first review of my first chapter and some reworking before posting it officially). But now you have to deal with all the criticism people will throw at you. Learn from it ;)!

If I could just make one suggestion. Go around the board, read fics. Neverland is a good one (don't be too scared by the 50+ pages, mostly feedback), then there is between the lines thats awesome, written in the stars, and many more (cant think of all of 'em right now). And leave feedback. Criticizing otheres is always easier then getting critics on yourself. Learn from it, get your own style and keep writing!

edit: hehe, I see you've read some of the fics I mentioned. well keep at it then :) Reading other people's stuff is the first step at getting your own stuff working.

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 Post subject: Re: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 6:18 pm 
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3. Flaming O

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:45 am
Posts: 65
Location: out threre
I would like to thank you all for leaving your critisim. I really apporaicate it...it helps. It did take alot of guts to post my first story, but as you all know i'm not experienced at writing. I believe that you are all correct in the fact i rushed things, and the reason being i didn't want to turn it into a long story, but i guess i'll need to work on all of that. I really do thank all of you. :flower :ashamed

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''You think you know... what's to come... what you are. You haven't even begun.'' – Tara


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 Post subject: Re: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:23 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
Ms. Moderator Fantastico

Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:16 am
Posts: 680
Location: Netherlands
Quote:
Okay, no one ever gives constructive criticism so here goes (And I can't help but use some humor/sarcasm when writing something like this):

1-Okay...well, that might be a good summary of a story...
2-Why must every fan fiction start with Willow and Tara bumping into each other?
3-It's one think to get to the point and not drag on with some story line that no one cares about and a lot of us just skim through to get to the smut, it's another to just keep saying "5 months later, later, later than night, a year later, etc..." and never building any plot line whatsoever.
4-Willow goes from not knowing whether she has feelings for Tara to proposing to her all in the same section/10 minute time period.
5-I know it's your fic and that you can do what you want, but Willow wouldn't wear a tuxedo...I thought these fics were for those of us who have Willow/Tara fetishes not someone who looks similar to Willow but doesn't act like her/Tara fetishes.
6-You basically just took the most often used plotlines from all the fics and integrated them into a summary.
7-At least your punctuation and spelling were good.



Giving critital feedback is fine, please do feel free to continue doing so, but a more constructive and friendly tone would be preferable next time. This goes for anyone, humour can be ok, but there is a difference between humour and sarcasm and in the case of feedback I think the latter should be avoided, if one is not careful sarcasm can come a bit too close to flaming or at least be hurtful (I´m not saying that was your intent).
As for point 5, let me quote this from the episode Hell Bells: "WILLOW: (disgusted) Duty-schmuty. I'm supposed to be best man. Shouldn't I be all ... Marlene Dietrich-y in a dashing tuxedo number?".
Of course we can debate whether she would have ever really worn a tuxedo, but at least this should defy such an absolute statement as to how Willow would or would not act. Also, even if it was meant in jest, I do want to stress that this forum is not meant for WT fetishes. If that is your thing it´s fine, to each his or her own, but there is room here for more than just smut fics.

This ends the feedback to the feedback. Any reponses to this post need to be addressed to me in private so as to not take this thread off topic.

_________________
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Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.


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 Post subject: Re: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 8:08 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 3:42 pm
Posts: 28
Location: Ontario, Canada
Hey Freakgirl... First off I would like to say congrats on posting your first fic.. I know I was super nervous when I posted mine.. so I say good on you!!! Although there are a couple of areas that could use some work here, overall this has what it takes to be a great fic! You've got a good 'them meeting' situation.. Willow saves Tara's life which not only forces Tara to be grateful to Willow... but Willow is already lying on top of Tara in the first scene :party So yeah... The plot is good... both are closeted gay people, and Willow's best friend, who Tara just so happens to be jealous of, turns out to be gay too!! And Buffy and Faith (who I think make a super hot couple) are also gay! It's just a big group of gay kids, and how can you go wrong there?!? They come out to each other.. Tara's feelings for Willow are revealed in a game of truth or dare... and when dared to kiss, they are so caught up in each other that they don' realize Faith and Buffy leaving!!! I loved this scene.. totally brought me back to a very similar t or d moment!! Although a lot of this fic moved a little too fast, and I didn't really get to feel the different emotions of our two lovely ladies... I think that with a little work, this could be a wonderful fic!!!

I would just like to quickly comment on Arielle's comment! I think it is cool you gave constructive critism, because lord knows it can be useful! I totally learned from the people who constructively critisized me, but there s no need to be rude! First off, not all fics start with them bumping into each other.. and even if they did, I think it is a good way to get the whole friendship thing going.. without them bumping into each other, I think that the real W/T personalities wouldn't allow them to really be able to talk to one another without the inability to stop talking, or the ability to talk. Secondly, I can totally see Willow wearing a tux! Just as DrG said, Hell's Bells is a perfect example of that! Also, not everyone is a W/T smut lover.. I personally tend to steer away from the smut fics.. I'm more into the sorta angsty, friendship building into a relationship thing.. so it's not all about fetishes on the Kitten board!!! Finally, I don't think she took a plotline that's used in every fanfiction. I like where she was going with it, and although it does need a few.. look overs and run throughs, I liked the plot! Plus, with all of the fanfictions that are posted on here, it is really difficult to have a fic that is 100% original.. unless it is 'Neverland' Man I love that fic!! Anyways, this is quite off topic!!!

freakgirl, do not give up, because I can tell that you have what it takes to write an awesome fic! If you need any pointers, I'd be happy to give you some!! My email is katiev_48@hotmail.com .. keep at it!!!

katie aka Luv4WillTara

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So my friend tells me that because I'm gay, I am going to hell! So I figure if everyone who's gay goes to hell, hell is just one big gay bar!


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 Post subject: Re: Truth or Dare
PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 4:11 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2005 12:07 am
Posts: 538
Location: Newcastle UK
Hey, awesome effort, if you ever need a beta reader, I'm always available :D

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