Hi guys, here's the next chapter of Moth - sorry about the lengthy delay - yet again! I'm at work so I can't really do feedback replies but I thought everyone would rather have the chapter up as soon as possible!
Alcy
[center]
~ Chapter 21 ~
We look before and after, and pine for what is not[/center]
As was typical of a Monday morning, Willow had a small mountain of tedious work to wade through. Most of it required little brain power and could be done with a coffee in one hand with her other hand absently guiding her mouse. However, as hard as she tried to concentrate on the simple task at hand, she couldn’t ignore the shape looming in the corner of her vision. It had been there ever since she walked into her office and it refused to leave. Willow focused harder, treating the most mundane emails as though they were a matter of life and death. Then the shape made a noise, following by a succession of annoying, repetitive sounds. She shut her eyes and willed her nemesis to go away. It was inevitable that the continuous noise would eventually cause her to snap. She spun in her chair and faced the source of her frustration. Buffy Summers, who no doubt had important work of her own waiting for her, was perched casually on the corner of Willow’s desk. She held a single twenty dollar note between her hands. To celebrate the fact that Willow was finally paying her attention, she snapped the note again. There was a smug expression of satisfaction on her face.
“And that is the sound of victory!” Buffy announced, snapping it yet again for good measure.
“It’s twenty bucks,” Willow reminded her in a flat tone, reiterating the relatively meagre sum.
Buffy wasn’t perturbed by Willow’s spoilsport attitude. “It’s twenty bucks that I won! I can taste my victory lunch already. This little sucker is going to buy me a caesar chicken salad, a diet coke...and just to completely ruin the salad and the diet coke, a great big piece of ginger crunch.”
“Woah, don’t go overboard there, Buff,” Willow smirked.
Buffy reached out and patted Willow on the head in a congratulatory manner. “It’s all thanks to the fact that you are a sexual dynamo. I knew Tara wouldn’t be able to resist you. Not to mention the fact that you couldn’t have kept your hands off those awesome boobs of hers for much longer.”
“Hey! That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about!” Willow protested indignantly.
“Sorry, Will,” Buffy said as she finally hopped down from Willow’s desk and returned to her own. “But you have to admit that your girlfriend has a damn fine rack.”
“I will admit that,” Willow conceded. She immediately received several incredibly naughty mental pictures when thinking about Tara’s breasts and her burgeoning relationship with them. “Are they as nice as Faith’s?”
The last comment was all that was needed to effectively silence Buffy. The blonde muttered something to the effect of ‘I wouldn’t know’ and turned her attention to her own work. A relieved Willow turned her attention back to her emails and her coffee. Her renewed focus lasted barely a minute before her mind wandered back to her naughty thoughts. She had a burning desire to call Tara but knew without a doubt that making a call would fuel Buffy’s teasing. Drawing in a deep breath, Willow resolved to concentrate on her work until morning tea, at which time she would sneak out of the office and call Tara. A quick glance at the time revealed over an hour and a half for her to wait.
I can do this, Willow thought with a grimace of determination,
I can’t go calling her every five minutes just because I want to hear her voice...hearing her voice will only lead to further naughty thoughts. Fuck it, if I take a taxi I can be at Tara’s apartment in less than ten minutes. What are lunch breaks for other than to go and have a quickie with your girlfriend?
~~~~~~
It took Tara much longer than usual to settle into a gentle rhythm with her running stride. Her limbs felt leaden and her breath came in ragged gasps. She could only glance across to Faith and envy her effortless, loping gait. The reason for her fatigue was painfully obvious. Following a rather energetic evening with Willow, she’d had barely four hours of sleep before dragging herself out of bed for a long meeting with Bridget and her accountant. This was on top of an equally pathetic amount of sleep the night before and a brief but heated encounter at lunchtime on Monday. Tara smirked when she remembered how a breathless Willow had turned up at her apartment and practically thrown herself at her as soon as the door had been opened. It was one lunch break where no actual lunch had been consumed and yet neither woman had walked away hungry.
“Want to pick up the pace a bit, T?” Faith’s suggestion interrupted her thoughts.
“Are you trying to tell me something?” Tara wheezed.
“Yeah, you’re slowing me down with your half-arsed plodding,” Faith further emphasised her point by turning around and running backwards. She easily kept pace with Tara. “We’re being passed by people pushing their kids in strollers, it’s embarrassing.”
Tara emitted a hefty sigh to let Faith know that she was being overly harsh. Rather than make any attempt to increase her pace, she dropped out of her stride altogether. She ignored Faith’s grunt of disgust and continued at a brisk walking pace. Faith continued running backwards for a few more metres before she also gave up. While Tara was struggling to return her breathing to normal, Faith immediately looked as though she had yet to set out on her run. Instead of feeling bitter about this, Tara reached out and wrapped a sweaty arm around Faith’s shoulders.
“Tara, you’re oozing sweat,” Faith stated the obvious through slightly gritted teeth.
“Well, that’s what normal people do when they run,” Tara replied unapologetically. “Just because you’re super human and seem not to secrete bodily fluids.”
“Eww, T, that’s kinda gross.”
Tara laughed. Her mood had improved now that she was no longer torturing herself. She released Faith from her sweaty embrace and stopped to stretch out her left hamstring on a nearby bench. The muscle felt as though it was about to snap like a piece of dry chewing gum.
“You know, it’s alright to say no to me every now and then,” Faith said as she moved to sit down on the bench. “If you don’t feel like running, just tell me. It’s understandable that you’re exhausted given the enthusiastic state of your love life.”
“How the hell do you know my love life is enthusiastic?” Tara demanded.
Faith rolled her eyes. “Because you’re exhausted but I’ve never seen you happier. I’d equate that with plenty of fucking with your new girlfriend.”
“I will neither confirm nor deny your accusations.” Tara replied with a solemn face. However, a slight upward curl to the corner of her mouth completely gave her away.
Faith was right. She had never been happier - not through her confused adolescent flirtation with Fiona Rigby or her seven year relationship with Audrey. Despite the almost giddy feeling which gripped her every time she thought of Willow, Tara was enough of a pragmatist to look at the situation with a healthy amount of caution. She didn’t consider their relationship to be brand new. While it was hardly a conventional start to a relationship, their one night stand had clearly been the point at which they inserted themselves into each other’s lives. Neither of them had been able to move past the other – with Willow having been unable to become involved with anyone else and her own ill-fated fling with Grace Palmer.
Tara looked up from concentrating on her leg to gaze out over the harbour. She felt a sense of hope. She and Willow had already been though so much, it seemed as if anything they might face in the future would be minor in comparison. Tara sighed. She knew all too well that was wishful thinking. There was the nagging presence of Audrey hanging over her. Tara knew she shouldn’t be so nervous about telling Willow. So she had a partner who died – big deal?
Tara sighed. It wasn’t such a big deal.
Yeah, but then there will be the unspoken questions that I will have trouble asking Willow. Audrey was cheating on me, do I need to worry about you doing the same thing? Not to mention the fact that Willow had only recently managed to tell her about the death of her parents. Would it come in poor taste to mention Audrey after that revelation?
Okay, I raise your dead parents with a dead girlfriend of seven years. Did I mention that she was killed on the same day she tried to break up with me?
“Penny for your thoughts, T?” Faith’s question interrupted her.
She glanced across towards her best friend and frowned. “You know, I think that phrase needs to be adjusted for inflation. Ten bucks for your thoughts sounds much more reasonable.”
“Stop trying to worm your way out of the question.” Faith narrowed her eyes. “I know that expression. You’re worrying needlessly about something, I can tell.”
There was no point in trying to lie when talking to Faith. “I have to tell Willow about Audrey but I’m worried what she’ll think.”
“You had a partner, she died. I can’t see where the difficulty lies?”
“I think Willow might feel I’ll be continuously worried that she’ll cheat on me.”
Faith snorted disdainfully. “Tara, sweetie, trust me, that girl is not going to cheat on you.”
“You really think she’s that into me?” Tara asked hopefully.
“That and the fact that I threatened to kick the crap out of her if she so much as made you cry,” Faith admitted a little sheepishly.
“You didn’t!” Tara reached out and delivered a swift punch to Faith’s arm.
They shared a laugh and Tara was relieved to find that her gloomy mood had only been momentary. She straightened up and found that her leg had almost come right but there would be no more running for her that evening.
When Faith stood, they started back towards the city at a brisk walk - the brunette seemingly untroubled by the fact that her run had been cut short.
“So, you’re coming to Imerst on Saturday night?” Tara asked.
“I’m not too sure about that, T,” Faith replied warily. “You’ll be too busy snogging Willow in a corner somewhere to protect me from all the lesbians.”
“Isn’t Buffy going to be there?”
“No, I don’t know. Why would she be there?” Faith asked defensively.
Tara narrowed her eyes. “Because she’s Willow’s friend…not to mention the fact that she’s into you, and you’re into her.”
“I’ll let you know on Friday okay?” Faith sighed.
“Why Friday?”
Faith’s reply was slightly reluctant, “Because…we’re going on a…date Thursday night.” She had to force the ‘D’ word out through her teeth.
Tara clapped her hands enthusiastically and put her arm back around Faith’s shoulders for a brief hug. When she glanced back at the brunette, her embarrassment had faded slightly and there was a smile of anticipation on her face. Obviously she was looking forward to Thursday night more than she let on.
~~~~~~
The week rolled by at an alarmingly speed. Willow eventually had to make good on her promise of a Saturday night out with Xander. Upon walking into the pulsating hive of wanton immortality that was Imerst, Willow felt a nervous tingle shoot down her spine. Despite the fact that it had been months since she had set foot in the place, it almost felt like coming home – that is, if home was somewhere with half-naked drunks and music that was too loud. The beat quickly found its way into her bloodstream. Willow found herself subconsciously moving her hips and nodding her head in time with the music. It was all too easy. A tray of cocktails whizzed by and she could already anticipate the coolness of one sliding down her throat.
For several moments, all Willow could do was stop and stare gormlessly. At the point where she felt as though she would either throw herself into the midst of the throng on the dance floor or turn around and run out of the club altogether, she felt warm fingers entwining with her own. Willow first looked down to her hand and then up at the face of the woman standing beside her. It was as though Tara could read the thoughts flowing through her brain. She offered a reassuring smile which Willow quickly returned. For the first time ever, Willow Rosenberg walked into Imerst holding the hand of her girlfriend. She was amazed at just how fantastic it felt. When Tara mouthed ‘are you okay?’ in her direction, she was able to reply with an honest nod.
Together with Tara, Buffy, Faith and Xander, Willow moved further into the club. She circled around behind the dance floor and spied a spot in which they could stand without being jostled on all sides. Willow pointedly ignored anyone else in the club that may have been staring at her – in fact, she knew that people in the club were definitely staring at her. She could feel their eyes boring into her skin. No doubt there were several games of Chinese whispers doing a circuit of the room already to announce that Willow Rosenberg had decided to once again grace Imerst with her presence. Willow focused on her friends instead. Tara looked nothing short of drop dead gorgeous in simple black pants, halter neck top and heeled boots. She knew that if Tara wasn’t with her, then she would have been making a beeline straight for her anyway – much as she had done the night they met. As it was, Tara was her girlfriend and the mere thought of it made her giddy with all manner of strange, new emotions.
“Well, this is exciting,” Faith commented.
Willow didn’t know the brunette well enough to know if she was being sarcastic or not. She had however, made quite an effort to look the part. She wore her hair down, with a plain white tank top and tight leather pants that clung to her arse. No doubt most of the lesbians in Imerst were already drooling over her. Willow doubted that any of them would actually be able to get close to her. Buffy was hovering at Faith’s elbow with a possessive look in her eyes. Willow still wasn’t entirely sure whether the two of them could actually be considered an ‘item.’
She turned to face Tara with the pretext of placing a discreet kiss on her cheek. “Can I tease Buffy and Faith about their couplely-ness yet?” she whispered in her girlfriend’s ear.
Tara merely offered a small shrug in return. She didn’t know either. However there was a hint of mischief in her eyes that clearly indicated she shared Willow’s desire to have a bit of fun at the expense of their friends.
A few moments later, Xander unknowingly offered her the perfect opportunity to uncover the truth behind Buffy and Faith’s fledgling relationship. “This is nothing short of a disaster,” he complained with a note of theatricality to his voice. “I’m the sole unattached loser in our group! I’ve never been that guy!”
While Willow laughed and threw her arm around Xander’s shoulders, Tara looked at Buffy and Faith with an arched eyebrow. The pair looked decidedly nervous. “Buffy and Faith are both still single,” she pointed out with a wink in Faith’s direction.
She grinned as Faith eyeballed her angrily in response. In turn, Buffy elbowed Faith discreetly but sharply in the ribs. Given that everyone’s attention was focused on them, no one missed it for what it signalled.
Faith could only throw up her hands in defeat. “Okay, okay, I’ll admit it – we’re fucking dating okay?”
“Which one is it?” Willow teased further. “Are you fucking or dating?”
Tara watched as her best friend’s cheeks bristled bright red. She had never seen the brunette so embarrassed since her law school graduation ceremony where she tripped on the stairs leading up to the stage.
“Both, okay?” Faith replied. “It all happened late this week – dinner and a movie led to sex and when I woke up I was in a lesbian relationship. Does that completely satisfy everyone’s curiosity?”
“Almost,” Tara said as she swept Faith and Buffy into either arm and gave them a firm squeeze. She pressed her mouth next to Buffy’s ear and asked a cheeky question, “How was she? Out of ten?”
“Hey!” Faith rounded on Tara and punched her in the upper arm. “I heard that!”
Buffy grinned in response and walked in front of Tara so she could wrap her arms around Faith’s waist. “Ten - she was amazing…she is amazing.”
As Buffy drew Faith in for a passionate kiss, Xander made a fake retching sound and seized Tara by the elbow. “Okay, you are coming with me to buy drinks before you can make any other inappropriate comments. You coming too, Will?”
“Bathroom stop – should’ve gone before I left home,” Willow said, briefly reaching out to touch Tara’s wrist. “Can you get me a glass of wine? Anything half decent.”
Willow left Buffy and Faith alone to make out on the fringe of the dance floor to make her way to the bathroom. She felt a little nostalgic entering – after all, it had been the site of her first make-out session with Tara. Granted, that particular session had been one of many between her and another woman in Imerst’s bathroom. However, unlike the others, Tara was more than a one night stand. While waiting in line, she checked her hair and make-up in the mirror. Given that she had only just arrived at the club, everything was still perfect.
Thankfully, the line wasn’t long and upon emerging from the stall she went quickly to wash her hands. As she did, she felt an arm snake around her waist and draw her backwards until her arse was rubbing against someone’s pelvis. Willow looked at her reflection to see Kelly of all people standing behind her. Given her rather wild eyes and inappropriate touching, Willow deduced that her ex-girlfriend was already half-trashed. Seeing the woman immediately took Willow back to Xander’s birthday party and the awful incident with Tara. She was of half a mind to retaliate and give Kelly a black eye of her own.
As it was, Willow just wanted to get away from Kelly as quickly as possible and rejoin her lover.
“Your hand, Kelly,” Willow looked downwards. It was resting on her abdomen in a manner that was much too possessive for Willow’s liking.
“You always liked my hands,” Kelly purred in Willow’s ear.
“Liked, I liked your hands – as in past-tense being the most important part of that sentence,” Willow stressed as she stepped out of Kelly’s grasp before she could take things any further. She sighed wearily and shook her head. “Can we stop playing these games? The disaster that was our relationship is over and it’s been over for a long time.”
“Since when did something being ‘over’ ever stop Willow Rosenberg from getting what she wanted?” Kelly demanded in a slightly more aggressive tone.
“Ever since I found out what it was I really wanted,” Willow replied calmly.
“What?” Kelly snorted. “That insipid blonde?”
Willow ignored the comment and replied firmly, “A real life! Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going back to my gorgeous girlfriend. I’d appreciate it if I saw you as little as possible.”
Kelly snorted disdainfully. “Do you really think she’s going to be able to hold your attention? I give it another month, maybe two at the most before the shine wears off and you start feeling claustrophobic. You’ll be looking for the next thrilling conquest.”
“You’re wrong, Kelly,” Willow replied, trying to keep her voice calm despite the fact she was becoming more pissed off by the second. “You know why? Because it was Tara who conquered me.”
A stall door opened. Without waiting for a reply from Kelly, Willow slipped in past the previous occupant and shut the door firmly behind her. She drew in a calming breath. It didn’t take long for her to feel over the encounter with her ex. There was always going to be baggage from her past reappearing in her life and it was reassuring to find that it mattered very little to her.
When Willow emerged back out into the club a few minutes later, she didn’t see Kelly anywhere. She immediately saw a few other past flings – the very fact enough to make her realise just how promiscuous she had been before she met Tara. Thankfully, all had the good manners not to try and perform the same stunt as Kelly. Willow even went as far to greet each one warmly, earning a few smiles and hopefully some good vibes in return.
She made her way to the bar to find Xander and Tara with their heads tipped back, each downing an oversized shot glass. Tara finished hers first and slammed it down on the bar next to an already emptied glass.
“You’re plying my girlfriend with shots?” she demanded incredulously.
Xander had the good manner to look slightly sheepish as he quickly placed his own shot glass down on the bar. Tara, however, flashed Willow a grin that was far from apologetic. She placed her arm around Willow’s back and drew her close with a very firm tug. Faced with the combination of Tara’s seductive smile and the feel of her hand snaking its way down over her arse, Willow was completely powerless to protest further. She let herself melt into Tara’s body for a few moments. Her mouth roamed up over the smooth skin of her girlfriend’s neck. She breathed in deeply, inhaling her scent. When she closed her eyes, she felt the insistent thumping of the music throughout her entire body. Instinctively, she began to move her hips to the music. At the same time, Willow kept moving her mouth upwards until she reached Tara’s lips. With an enthusiastic sigh she claimed them in a deep, passionate kiss. The couple remained locked together for several moments, oblivious to anything or anyone until Xander let out a loud cough.
Even then Willow and Tara didn’t separate. They merely stopped kissing and turned to face their friend with matching smiles of apology – neither were very sincere.
“Are you two here to dance with me or should we call it a night now?” he demanded.
Willow turned to face her girlfriend and the sparkle in Tara’s eyes betrayed exactly where she wanted to be at that moment. Just that smouldering, lusty glance was enough to turn her on to the point of being weak at the knees. She knew she wouldn’t need any further persuading to ditch Xander and make haste towards either of their apartments. However just as she was about to propel Tara towards the exit, Willow found herself being steered towards the dance floor instead. Tara had her on one arm and an appreciative Xander on the other.
As soon as Willow found herself in the midst of the dancing throng on the dance floor, she was able to push aside her immediate thoughts of sex with Tara – although that thought never went far from her mind. Especially when Tara’s pelvis ground against her own in a sensual dance. She lost track of time after that. At some stage, Faith and Buffy joined them. With her girlfriend and best friends dancing around her, Willow was as content as she’d ever been.
Tara knew Willow was in her element on the middle of the dance floor at Imerst. Her redheaded girlfriend was at the very epicentre of the club’s throbbing beat, almost as though everything radiated outwards from her. At several points during the evening, various people passed her drinks of some sort or another. Willow made sure she got plenty of water but it was matched glass for glass by different mixers of varying colours.
It was only when they finally decided to leave Imerst and go in search of something to eat, that Tara realised just how drunk she was. As she twirled out of the club in Willow’s arms, it was almost as though she was somewhere above the street looking down on herself. She heard herself utter a musical laugh at the mention of Xander finding himself a tasty piece of arse for the night. He decided that remaining on the dance floor would do more for his chances of getting laid than heading out for a burger. Moments later she found herself firmly back in her own body. She was well aware of her unsteady legs beneath her. It was only Willow’s firm arm around her back that kept her upright.
“I think I’m a little drunk,” Tara admitted loudly, directly into Willow’s ear.
“Just a little,” Willow agreed readily.
She tried to steer Tara out of the way of some approaching revellers but was couldn’t tug the blonde aside in time. Tara’s shoulder rammed heavily into that of a tall, dark-haired young man walking in the opposite direction.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Tara looked up. “I wasn’t looking...” She stopped abruptly when she glanced up at the person she had hit.
“I knew you were angry at me, Tara,” he began. “But shoulder barging me is going a little far.”
“David,” Tara identified him quickly. How could she forget him? She clearly remembered David at Audrey’s funeral, surrounded by her family as though he had been the grieving partner of seven years instead of Tara.
“You’re looking...well,” he replied with a smile.
Tara couldn’t quite interpret the smile, was he mocking her? She felt almost a year’s worth of repressed bitterness well up inside her. Of course, the smart thing would have been to continue walking down the street but she wanted to face him. With her chin held high, Tara continued, “I think it’s presumptuous to think I’m still angry.”
“Aren’t you?” he asked, cocking his head to one side.
Tara shook her head resolutely. “Not in the slightest.”
Willow had been watching the whole odd exchange with a confused expression on her face. She could sense that Tara was uncomfortable and stepped closer to Tara.
“I’m Willow,” she stated. “Are you a friend of Tara’s, David?”
“Not exactly,” David replied. “Let’s just say Tara and I had a mutual friend.”
“Audrey was not just my friend and you know it!” Tara replied, her voice suddenly vehement.
“Come on, Tara. It was over between the two of you! Can’t you just acknowledge that I lost the woman I loved and stop thinking that I ruined a relationship that was already over? Audrey was never gay, she just needed to find the right man.”
“What the fuck!” Tara spluttered indignantly. She was suddenly lost for words and could only stare blankly at David as though he had grown two heads.
Unable to find the right words, Tara uncharacteristically placed her hands on David’s chest and gave him a sharp shove. Although there was little real force behind the push, it was sufficient to send someone who was drunk stumbling backwards and into the window of a nearby shop.
“What the hell?” David placed his hand on the window to steady himself before standing.
“T!” Faith bounded forward and wrapped her arms securely around Tara, effectively restraining her from doing anything further. She glanced up at the startled and angry man opposite her. “Just walk away, David – please?”
David shook his head and muttered several foul epithets under his breath as he stared at Tara. The blonde had gone rather limp in Faith’s arms and wasn’t making any move to escape. Finally his friends grabbed him by the shoulder and one told him to forget about it.
“Fucking dyke,” he slurred in Tara’s direction before one of his companions was able to turn him in the opposite direction. He left without any further words.
Willow couldn’t quite believe the scene that had placed out in front of her eyes. She looked down the street at David’s back as he walked away. Then her gaze went back to her girlfriend. Tara had disentangled herself from Faith’s gentle restraint and was sitting on a flight of stairs leading up off the street. She shook her head as though that simple action might bring her back to her senses. “What the devil was that all about?” she asked in disbelief. “Who is Audrey?”
Tara looked up at Willow. The redhead was staring at her as though she had become a completely different person. That scared her far more than her uncharacteristic violent outburst. Faith and Buffy were also staring at her with similar expressions. Although there was a knowledge in Faith’s eyes that was missing from the others, she still looked just as horrified. Faith knew exactly who David was and what he represented to Tara but she still could not believe that Tara had lashed out physically.
“I…um – I think I need to get out of here,” was Tara’s only response, ignoring Willow’s questions. She felt sick to her stomach, disgusted by what she had just done.
“Come on, let’s find us a taxi.” Willow didn’t press the issue further. When Tara took her outstretched hand, she helped her to her feet with one swift tug. With one arm wrapped securely around Tara’s waist, she turned to Faith and Buffy with an attempt at a reassuring smile. “Are you guys going to call it a night?”
“I’m not sure,” Faith replied as she turned to Buffy. “I do really need something to eat…and a coffee.”
“Starbucks?” Buffy suggested quietly.
“Starbucks it is,” Faith nodded in agreement. “Maybe you two should join us?”
Willow felt rather than saw Tara’s shake of her head. “I think we’re done with town tonight. See you later.”
“Count on it,” Faith took Buffy’s hand.
Willow watched the pair walk off with a last wave before gently prodding Tara in the direction of the nearest taxi rank. She desperately wanted to get to the bottom of Tara’s mystery but knew it could wait until they were safely inside with coffee of their own.
~~~~~~
When the taxi ground to a halt outside her building ten minutes later, Willow quickly paid the driver and exited the taxi. She was relieved to be out of the stuffy confines of the car – it had smelt of a combination of carpet shampoo and the alcoholic stench left by half a nights worth of drunken passengers. She crossed around to Tara’s door and opened it with the intention of helping the blonde out of the car. However, she found herself left standing beside the taxi as Tara remained inside.
Tara eventually leaned over and looked up at Willow. “I think it’s best if I go home…to my own apartment.”
Willow was momentarily taken aback before she could think of a suitable reply. “Of course you should – I mean – I shouldn’t have assumed that you would be coming home with me.” The words felt rather hollow. Of course she had assumed that Tara would be coming home with her. Most of the night had clearly been pointing towards hot, steamy sex – up until Tara had flipped out after meeting David on the street. From that point on Willow’s only concern had been for Tara. All she wanted was the opportunity to hold her, comfort her while she was obviously hurting.
“Tara - baby – I can’t let you go home alone. Not when you’re hurting like you are,” Willow protested gently. She reached out and laid a hand on her upper arm.
“I’m not hurting!” Tara replied abruptly. She brushed off Willow’s touch and looked away from her. “I’m just…angry, and tired. I want to be alone.”
“Okay,” Willow replied slowly, dejectedly. The last thing she wanted was to let Tara go home alone, but she recognised the need for solitude when she saw it. She pulled another note out of her purse and handed it to the driver. “Can you take her home please? 22 Everton Terrace.”
“Certainly, ma’am,” the driver replied. “Have a good night.”
With a last brief brush of her palm against Tara’s cheek, Willow stepped out of the taxi.
How can the rest of my night be anything other than downright depressing? She watched it pull away until its red tail lights disappeared around a corner. When Tara didn’t look back once, she felt tears prick at her eyes. She stood on the side of the street for at least a minute before finally making her way inside.
A few minutes later, as she sat heavily on her sofa with a bottle of red wine, Willow suddenly wished she had a cat, or a dog - just something warm and snugly on her lap.
“Who gives a fuck about cat hairs on a six hundred dollar dress,” she muttered to herself as she glanced down at the Karen Walker number she was wearing.
She spied one single strand of blonde hair stuck to the fabric and plucked it off. It was at that point that she put both the bottle of wine and her glass down on the floor and curled up on the sofa, tucking her stockinged feet beneath her. Willow couldn’t sleep, instead she lay staring at the wall opposite. All the while she played the events through her mind and wondered what she could have done differently. Should she have socked the guy on the jaw?
Just because you do Tai Bo at the gym doesn’t mean you can actually hit someone, stupid. Perhaps she should have refused to let Tara go home alone?
Willow sighed – it was all too late. If only she had been a better girlfriend somehow, then she may have been able to spare Tara some of her pain.