For those who read my earlier story ‘Endless’ – this is nothing like it. This is me having fun!
This is me thinking: What if Willow was called as the Slayer instead of Buffy? What if 16 year old Tara was at Sunnydale High from the very beginning? What if we had six years of W/T instead of less than three?
So, this is one possible result of those what ifs. It’s meant to be light-hearted (for the most part), and a bit of a parody, but it’s the first time I’ve ever tried Buffy-style dialogue and humour – so it might crash and burn! I’ve called it a pilot episode because if it’s well received, I might go on and create more episodes in the same vein. As I have no intention (or hope) of rewriting the entire six seasons, I might take the liberty of bringing characters and events in from later eps. Because this is essentially an AU fic, some of the characters (and events) here will be a bit different from the originals. Willow for example is perhaps a little sassier here, because she comes from a different background. Buffy will take on Xander’s sidekick role, because apart from the odd mention, Xander isn’t in here. It’s not that I
dislike Xander. It’s just that I don’t like him – at least not the Xander he became in later seasons. So this is heavily girl-centric (the way everything should be!)
Just like the show, this episode has a teaser and four acts, even though it’s a rewrite of both ‘Welcome to the Hellmouth’ and ‘The Harvest.’ Last word: have fun (please!)
Title: WtVS: Pilot Episode: Hellmouth High
Author: Mike of the Nancy Tribe
Feedback: Yes please.
Rating: PG-ish I suppose.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon and ME. I’ve taken liberties with them. So sue me.
Distribution: I don’t mind, but ask first, okay?
Pairings: None yet, it’s just the Teaser! But are you kidding me?
Spoiler Warning: Not really since it’s AU, but I’ll be using bits from all seasons.
Summary: Willow is called to a new role in life, and Sunnydale will never be the same again.
WtVS: Pilot Episode: HELLMOUTH HIGHTEASERFADE IN
EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT
“Okay buster, h-hooold it right there!”
The vampire turned towards the voice, taking his mouth momentarily from the neck of his intended victim. He sneered in amusement. “Go away little girl,” he snarled. “It’s way past your bedtime.”
“T-Tell me about it. And I’ve got classes in the….Uh, I mean hey! None of your business you, you creep! Now, now unhand that girl I say or, or you’ll feel my wrath!
How was that? Was it good?” The last words seemed to be whispered to someone else standing in the shadow of a nearby tomb.
The vampire released his grip on his prey, who scampered away into the darkness. “Oh my,” he said, circling the newcomer. “Feisty little thing aren’t you? Not much meat on you, but I’ll guess you’ll do for a snack.”
The girl tucked her long reddish hair behind her ears, and moved nervously from foot to foot. “Oh, oh, you don’t want to bite me,” she said, “I’m not exactly kosher and, and I had mono last year. Yeuch! Not tasty at all, not me.”
“I can smell your blood from here,” he growled. “Your words can’t hide your fear - and the fear makes it so….spicy. Now stop dancing around and die.”
“W-Well phoo to you too and, and what kind of person lives on blood anyway? Oh. Ah. Right. A vampire. ‘Cos, ‘cos that’s what you are you’re, you’re a nasty fangy vampire, and I’m here to put an end to you and all your, um, nefarious doings!”
An exasperated male voice came from beside the tomb. “Oh for heaven’s sake girl, are you planning on staking him any time soon, or should I just settle down with a cup of tea and a good book? Just have
at him, will you?”
“Um. Er. Right. Sorry. Come on then you, you big overbite, let’s do it!”
The vampire launched himself at the young girl, who squealed, feinted to the side and kicked him gingerly between the legs.
“Ooh! Ow! Toes….hurting!” she cried, hopping on one leg. “Clunky shoes next time, not trainers you doofus!”
She shrieked as the demon lunged at her again, and in desperation swung her tiny fist at his face. To her surprise, the creature flew backwards and landed in a crumpled heap, shaking its head and growling in pain. Ignoring the sharp sting in her knuckles, the girl looked on in amazement. “Whoa!” she exclaimed. “Was that me? Guess I
am all butch with the super strengthiness after all! Hey, you were right Mr. –“
Her words cut off as the vampire came at her once more. But with new-found confidence, she threw a left at his stomach, a right at his jaw, and swept his legs out from under him. She tugged a stake from the pocket of her long knitted coat, and plunged it into his heart. The beast exploded into a cloud of smoky dust, and she doubled over, coughing and sneezing at the same time.
“Ack. Urgh. Remind me never to take up smoking. New number one on the list of Naughty Things
Not To Do!”
The man emerged from the shadow of the tomb and walked over to her, all the while making a curious
tut-tutting sound with his tongue. He lowered the crossbow that he held. “Well,” he sighed, “that was….educational. I sincerely hope that from here, the only possible way is up. Next time, a little less chat and a lot more slaying would be in order, Miss Rosenberg.”
Willow dusted herself down, and looked up brightly at the tweed-jacketed man. “Yeah but hey Mr. Giles, didja see me with all the punchy and the kicky, didja? That was neat!” She bounced excitedly for a moment, flailing her fists out at imaginary foes, then suddenly went pale and cross-eyed. “Woo! Legs gone! I’m fine, I’m fine!” she said as she wobbled and sat heavily on the grass. “Ohh my butt!”
Giles had hurried to her side, but she shrugged him off. “I’m okay,” she insisted, nevertheless holding on to his arm as she rose to her feet. “Mmpff! Guess I’m not much of a slayer, huh? One bad guy and she comes over all weak and kitteny. Willow the spaz strikes again. I must be a big disappointment to you.”
“Willow,” said Giles, more in kindness than in anger, “you are
the Slayer. You have it in you to be the, the pre-eminent champion for good in this world. Or, or I wouldn’t be here to be your Watcher. Your skill and power will grow, under my tutelage. But you must
listen to what I tell you. I know I’ve hardly taught you anything as yet, but when I say no chit-chat with the undead, I mean it.” He emphasised this with a wagging finger.
Willow Rosenberg’s lower lip emerged into a slight pout, while Giles’ mouth pursed primly. “And you can stop with the cow eyes right away, young lady. We have serious work ahead of us.”
“I know, Mr. Giles,” she replied contritely. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be good. But you know, this is still a lot to take in.” They began walking slowly through the cemetery as a sliver of new moon filtered through the trees, and the time wore on towards midnight. “I mean, I’ve been in Sunnydale less than two weeks. It’s weird. Even before you told me, it was weird. New town, new house, new school. I was already having a major wiggins, and then I find my new home is some kind of vampire Vegas.”
“As I explained to you, this town is at the centre of -”
“- a great mystical convergence, yeah I remember. Mouth of hell. Weirdness Central. All the monsters you can eat or, or that want to eat you. Brrr! But my life was pretty much of the hellish even
before I came here! Then, then my first day of school, you come along and tell me I’m some sorta Chosen One! Willow the nerd, Willow the bookworm, Willow the, the nobody-wants-to-know-me-‘cos-I’m-a-total-spaz-who-wouldn’t-know-cool-from-Kool-Aid suddenly becomes Willow the Vampire Slayer! I’m still full of the how what who and
huh?! And, and I’m babbling again, aren’t I?”
“Just a tad,” said Giles with a small smile. “I do understand, you know Willow. This is all new to me too. I-I’ve never had a Slayer in my care before. The Council tries to prepare its Watchers, but things….rarely turn out quite as expected. And the Slayers’ Handbook is usually, well, less than helpful.”
“There’s a handbook?”
“Indeed yes.” Giles halted his walk for a moment, took off his glasses, and proceeded to polish them with a white handkerchief. “I’m fairly sure that half of it was written by an insurance broker. It goes into great detail in indemnifying the Council against any past, present, future, potential, implied or implicit damage, death, injury or mayhem caused by any Watcher or Slayer in its employ. The rest is a blend of legend, history, and quite basic martial arts moves. It consists of precisely six A5 pages, two of which are blank, for notes.” He replaced his glasses, and looked at Willow. “I mostly use it as a coaster.”
They continued their slow walk through the cemetery. Every so often, he cocked his head to one side, as if listening for something.
“Tonight,” said Giles, “you have slain your first vampire. It wasn’t exactly…. elegant….but I think you have an aptitude for it. You just need some….honing. Would I be correct in thinking that this was the first time you have ever had to actually hit someone, in anger as it were?”
The corners of Willow’s mouth turned down, as she remembered. “Well, there was this one time, at kindergarten. We were doing colouring. I
liked colouring. Xander Harris broke my crayons. All of them. I hit him in the tummy. He barfed all over his pictures. I wasn’t proud. Well….maybe a little. Does that count?”
“W-w-well yes, I suppose so. Did you say Harris? Alexander Harris? From Hemery High in Los Angeles, like you?”
Willow’s eyes opened wide as she turned to Giles in terror. “Oh god!” she exclaimed. “Oh god, no! Don’t tell me he’s here – at my school? – oh no, oh no – vampires I can take, monsters are just little furry bunnies compared to that jerk – oh no – I thought I’d lost him years ago – his parents moved out, went down south somewhere to – oh no no no –“
“Willow, stop hyperventilating, and calm down.” He gripped the girl by both shoulders and spoke to her firmly. “He
was here, but he’s gone now. Principal Flutie told me about it when I joined the staff here. Harris was expelled last semester. A-apparently he was disciplined for, for spying on the cheerleaders in their changing room, and in revenge he, he burned down the school gym.”
“Are you sure? Are you really, really sure? ‘Cos, ‘cos he’s sneaky you know, he’ll hide and he’ll wait for you and, and just when you think it’s all safe he’ll tip a bucket of frogs all over your head and that’s so gross and you can’t help it if you have frog fear and pee in your pants and, and I didn’t say any of that, no I didn’t….Really sure?”
Her reddening face held such a look of pleading that Giles almost laughed. Instead, he replied “I’m really sure. I believe his parents were so ashamed of him that they, they moved out of the state.”
“Oh. Phew,” breathed Willow. “That guy really plagued me. He was a schmuck.”
“Er, yes,” said Giles. He looked at his watch as the gates of the cemetery loomed before them. “Now, you’re sure that your mother won’t mind you being out this late?”
She posed with her hands on hips, in mock indignation. “Hey, I’m sixteen, ya know! I’m a big girl, I don’t live by the rules. I’m a rebel!” Then Willow’s shoulders drooped and the pout returned as her bravado fell away. “Nah,” she sighed, “my mom wouldn’t notice if I rolled home at 3 a.m. with a big wet dog and a rock band. She’s too busy with her own life to wonder about me. It’s no big.”
“Erm,” said Giles, looking slightly quizzical, “I realise of course that, being English, I can have no real conception of how the English language should be used, but…No big? No big what?”
“Deal, Giles. No big
deal. Hey, I love books too, but you
really need to get out of the library more.”
“Ah. Of course. How silly of me. I can see I shall have to get ‘hip’ to this new ‘jive’ language.”
Willow rolled her eyes. They reached the huge iron gates that separated the graveyard from the world of the living.
Well, mostly living, thought Giles.
But you never know what’s out there. I hope I can be worthy of her.As he eased the gate open for Willow to pass through, Giles finally heard what he had been listening for. He whirled around, levelling the crossbow at the vampire that was stalking towards them. This one was big, clad in old-fashioned gear, with leather straps crossing over his chest. Willow turned, stake in hand, but Giles held her back.
“No Willow, not this one,” he said, a hard light forming in his eyes. “This one I’ve been waiting for.”
“What? Waiting for? What?” said Willow, confused.
“A messenger,” said Giles grimly. “I’ve been expecting one all night.”
The vampire stopped some yards from them, spreading his arms wide and baring his fangs in defiance.
“His time is at hand!” he cried. “The heavens shall weep and the earth shall tremble when he walks again! His power shall not be withstood! In the Harvest he shall be restored! And he shall taste the life of the Slayer!”
“Pompous ass,” murmured Giles, as he released an arrow precisely into the demon’s heart. Willow’s eyebrows rose as she realised the skill the shot must have taken.
“The Master will kill you all….” said the creature as it dissolved into dust.
The hiss of its last words died away, and Willow looked at Giles. “Wow. That was cheery. And from someone else who uses ten words when two would do. Mind telling me how you knew he’d be here tonight? Or were you saving that for when the earth goes all trembly?”
“Oh, um, well, signs and portents, you know? Omens and prophecies? You’ll get used to it.”
“Giles, I have history, math and biology tomorrow. Omens and prophecies aren’t on the curriculum. What gives? Who was
he, who’s the Master, and why am I on his good eating list?”
Giles took Willow by the arm, guided her through the gate, and closed it behind them with a satisfying
clang. The street lamps cast a welcoming glow of reality, and ahead of them, they could begin to see the movement of cars. “Willow,” he said as they passed along the sidewalk towards the main street. “I have no answers for you. Not yet. Only….that the vampire I just killed was no more than a, a mouthpiece. A messenger, as I said. The signs pointed to a message being given to the Slayer, tonight, in some form. I, I didn’t know what would come. As to the rest….come and see me in the library tomorrow. I think we have some research to do.”
“Oh. Okay,” said Willow. “Research is good. I like books, and books like me. We’re old friends.”
Giles was deep in thought, but he cleared his throat, obviously wanting to lighten the mood. “And, and how about you, Willow. Have you made many new friends since moving to Sunnydale?”
“Nice segue Giles,“ said Willow. “But….not so much. I’m, I’m not really the kinda girl the cool and the brave want to hang with. My lameness knows no bounds.”
“I’m sure you’re being much too hard on yourself. Is there no one that you could um, ‘connect’ with, or whatever the correct term is for finding a chum?”
Willow giggled. “Chumm.” She almost hummed the word. “That is
so British….but cute.”
“Really,” said Giles. “And who was verbally sparring earlier with a certain vampire about his, ah,
‘nefarious doings’ may I ask?”
“Just trying to expand my vocabulary.”
“Er, indeed. But you didn’t answer my question.” Willow looked up at him for a reminder. “About ‘connecting’ with someone?”
She was quiet for a moment, then replied “Well….maybe…. there’s someone I
could. There’s a girl in my IT class. She’s a real computer whiz, not a bonehead like me. But I think she’s just as bookwormy. Her name’s Tara. She sits right at the back, but we’ve
almost made eye contact a few times, and just, y’know, smiled.”
Really nice smile, she thought. “But she’s all stuttery and shy, like she’d run a mile if I said boo to her.”
“I usually find that hello works better than boo.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Very rarely,” said Giles. “You should take a chance though. Friends are very important. But – and I can’t emphasise this enough – they must
never know that you’re the Slayer. You have a destiny, Willow, a sacred duty to defend this world against th-th-the evil that would destroy it. Neither friends, family or, or the pursuit of scholastic achievement should divert you from it. You must be true to your calling!” He punctuated the air with a strident finger.
She gave an uneasy laugh. “Have a cow Giles! You mean I’ve gotta Peter Parker my way through life, I get it.”
“What?” he said.
“What what?” said Willow.
Giles sighed heavily. “Never mind. The Atlantic and several hundred years stand between us. Come along, let’s get you home. You need to be well rested. And, and Watchers need their sleep too.”
“For tomorrow the honing begins,” she said brightly.
“Um,” agreed Giles.
*From the shadows of a doorway across the street, a man watched them walk away. He wore dark clothes and a white shirt with wide lapels. He was tall, with dark hair and a very pale face. “So the Slayer is here,” he murmured to himself. “Whistler was right. Red hair, a little skinny, but not too bad. She’s here, and the Master is ready to rise. But has she got what it takes to stop the Harvest?”
“Hey buddy, you gotta problem,” said the slurred voice of a vagrant in the next doorway. “Talk to yerself much? Too much sterno’s my guess.”
“You have no idea of my problems,” said the man.
“Then share away, feller. I ain’t got nuthin’ but time.”
“You’re wrong. There’s no time at all. The end of the world is coming, and you’ll die screaming like the rest.”
“Ah, drop dead,” said the bum.
“Too late for that”, said the pale man, and followed the pair towards the heart of town.
END OF TEASER
FADE TO MUSIC AND TITLES
--------------------------------
Always.........
Edited by: Mike of the Nancy Tribe at: 1/22/03 3:08:59 pm
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I Loved it! And Willow the slayer, hmmm! Now its her turn to kick some demon ass!! Woo Hoo!! 
Soo I know i'm totally gonna Love this fic! I'm already startin 2! 
, this would definitely be something i'd love to watch. babbly willow in trying for puns...you've got the willow-babble nailed...this was too cute, please please continue 
.