TITLE: Just One Of The Wiccans
AUTHOR: Dreiser
EMAIL: dreiser0@earthlink.net
YAHOO I.D.: dreiser3
MY REALLY LONG HOMEPAGE ADDY: www.angelfire.com/anime2/superhighway/Dreiser/dreiser.html
BTVS FIC ARCHIVE: www.geocities.com/shaych3/dreiser.htm
CONTENT: F/F romance. M/M romance. Hell, this fic is just loads of gay romantic fun. lol. W/T main couple.
SUMMARY: A somewhat UberBTVS fic based off of the movie, Just One Of The Guys. That means no slaying, the cast is normal in this fic, folks. Well, as normal as anyone can be in a fic that I'm writing.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my 80s movies.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic wouldn't be here without Xita and Dri, who came up with it far more than I did. So much thanks to both of them!
Just One Of The Wiccans
By: Dreiser
Willow frowned as she gazed at the numbers on her screen. Something just wasn't right. One of them didn't fit correctly in the program and it was bothering her. It was definitely a big--
"Problem!"
Blinking, Willow looked up at Buffy hovering over her, a perturbed expression on her features. "What?"
"I have a problem," Buffy said dramatically, sitting next to Willow in the computer lab. "A big one."
"Aren't you supposed to be in history?" asked Willow, frowning. "You're going to get in trouble again."
"Giles is dating my Mom," Buffy waved it off. "He's not going to do anything to me. Besides, I need your help."
"Uh huh," said Willow, studying Buffy closely. "So what's the big problem anyway?"
"Three guys," Buffy began as she let out a huge breath. "Asked me out for this weekend."
There was a pause of complete silence then Willow turned back to face her computer screen and said, "I'm making my new program now. Call me when an actual problem comes up."
"Will!" whined Buffy, clasping onto the redhead's arm. "This is a problem! Prom is coming up and you know I'm not really happy with Riley anymore."
"Then go on a date with one of the guys who asked you out," said Willow in tones that echoed of the word 'duh'.
Rolling her eyes, Buffy replied, "I would but they're all like Riley. Boring with a capital B. I'm starting to get very concerned with the quality of guys who ask me out, Will. They're all cute, sure, but they seriously lack brains."
"I thought you didn't care about that," Willow chuckled lightly. "You always said you just wanted a pretty face."
"I know, I know," Buffy sighed. "But I'm starting to rethink my priorities, seeing as we're graduating soon. In the real world one needs brains, right?"
"Unless you're in a fraternity like Riley, yes," Willow nodded, wincing slightly when Buffy punched her on the shoulder for the comment. "Ouch," Willow rubbed her shoulder. "That hurt. Are you working out again?"
"I'm naturally butch," said Buffy drolly. Shaking her head, she murmured, "I really don't know what to do. You're lucky you don't have this problem."
Feeling an intense gaze bore into her, Buffy lifted her eyes and met Willow's narrowed green eyes that clearly said she was in trouble. Laughing nervously, Buffy was about to apologize when the computer class teacher walked in the room, saving her from it.
"All right," Jenny announced, forming her usual slow smile. "You've all been bothering me constantly ever since I announced the contest to win a summer internship at Walsh Enterprises, who we all know are…"
"The top company locally for computer programming," the class chanted together, wearing wide grins. Buffy in the meantime, just looked baffled at this outburst.
"Bingo!" Jenny grinned. "I've looked over all the programs you've submitted carefully and I'm happy to announce I've picked a winner for our school. There can only be one since Walsh only has two positions open for internships and the other goes to Pylea High."
On hearing this, the room was filled with boos and various insulting shouts that caused their teacher to form another slow smile as she shook her head.
"Yes, yes," said Jenny. "We all know they're bad, icky, people at that school. That's why I let you guys get away with sending them viruses. But they still deserve a shot at getting as good as you all. Anyway," she turned to walk back into her office. "The winner of the contest will be posted after lunch on the main announcement board."
With that, the pretty brunette disappeared back into her office, leaving her computer class in relative peace.
"I hope I win," said Willow quietly. Looking at Buffy, she smiled and said, "It would be great to be able to work for an actual computer company. I could learn so much."
"You'll win," Buffy assured. "Who in here could beat you? You've got them all beat on years programming and talent."
"Thanks Buffy," Willow smiled softly.
"No problem," said Buffy easily as she rose to her feet. "Now I better get out of here before someone else asks me out on a date. Three is enough for one weekend."
"Aren't you exaggerating?" asked Willow dryly, raising an eyebrow. "I know you're popular but--"
"Buffy?"
Together, green and hazel eyes focused on the nervous figure of a bulky and rather dense looking football player as he shifted foot to foot.
"I was wondering," he gave a shaky smile. "Do you maybe wanna go out this weekend?"
Closing her eyes, Buffy shook her head and muttered to herself, "Why me?" Then she swiftly exited the room and left the football player alone with Willow.
"Uhm," he said slowly as he looked at the redhead. "Was it something that I said?"
For a response, Willow only sighed.
---
"That really wasn't nice, you know," Willow chastised.
She and Buffy were having lunch off campus at a local restaurant, as was their right as High School Seniors, and Willow felt it was the perfect time to elaborate how much she didn't like apologizing for Buffy to sensitive jocks.
"How was I supposed to know he'd cry?" said Buffy sheepishly, looking a tad guilty. "I'm sorry, Will, honest."
"Don't do it again," grumbled Willow, taking a bite of her pasta. Looking past Buffy, her eyes widened in alarm.
"What?" Buffy asked, seeing the panic on her friend's face. "What is it? Is someone else here to ask me out?"
"How did you guess," a familiar voice purred in Buffy's ear, causing a shudder to run through her body.
Hazel eyes turned and locked with brown ones and on seeing who it was, Buffy scowled. "Anya," she stated in chilly tones.
"That's me," Anya said, sounding pleased with herself as she plunked down in the seat next to Buffy. She reached out to toy with the sleeve to Buffy's shirt, only to have her hand immediately slapped away. "Ohhh, forceful," Anya teased, giving a naughty grin.
"Stop harassing Buffy," commanded Willow, pointing her fork at Anya. "Or I swear I will get some of those tiny hidden cameras and record all the freaky stuff I know you plan on doing so I can show it to the folks."
"Her parents are gone for two weeks," Anya informed Buffy, leaning close so her breath lightly hit the blonde's neck, causing Buffy to scoot away. "Me and my uptight cuz, all alone without companionship. I'm thinking you want to help us out with this, am I right?"
"I wouldn't touch you if we were the only people alive," Buffy said calmly, staring Anya right in the eye.
"I'm hurt," Anya pouted cutely, drawing back. With a sigh, she focused on Willow with a grin. "I guess that just leaves me and you cuz," she waggled her eyebrows. "How does that saying go? Incest is best?"
"Anya!" shrieked Willow, turning bright red as she leapt to her feet. Upon noticing that everyone in the restaurant was now staring at them, she sat down quickly and replied in a more subdued hiss, "Stop embarrassing me. I swear, I think mom and dad were right… spending your childhood traveling around Europe with Auntie did scar you."
"Not so," corrected Anya, waving her index finger back and forth, making a tsking sound. "I prefer to think of it as a wonderful journey into my preteen sexuality."
"When you were six you lived in a brothel in Amsterdam for eight months," Willow said dryly. "That was a wonderful journey?"
"Some parts of it," Anya smirked.
Groaning softly, Willow shook her head and rising to her feet she looked at her cousin pointedly. "I'm leaving," she announced. "Try not to get arrested before school's out."
"I don't make promises I can't keep," said Anya with a wide smile. Her hand slowly inched up and she ran just the tips of her fingers across Buffy's arm who turned to look at her with a murderous expression. "Later sexy."
Yanking her arm away, Buffy shuddered again as she walked out of the restaurant with Willow. "No offense to your family or anything, Will, but your cousin just gets creepier each time I see her," Buffy remarked. "And I really should be used to her after five years."
"Anya's Anya," Willow shrugged. "I just try to stay out of her web of sexual intrigue and we get along fine."
"Except for that time she tried to take nude pictures of you," reminded Buffy, giving a snicker.
For the second time that day, Buffy was on the receiving end of a very harsh Willow glare. One that told her most definitely she was in trouble yet again.
---
I think I won, I think I won, I think I won.
This was the mantra that Willow repeated to herself, walking down the hallway with Buffy at her side. In a few moments she would find out just who Jenny had chosen for the internship at Walsh Enterprises, something she had wanted more than anything since hearing of the contest.
She had to have won, she just had to.
"Willsterrrr!"
Stopping abruptly in her hurried walk, causing Buffy to almost crash into the back of her, Willow looked over at her other oldest friend, Xander Harris, who was currently being draped on by several girls. Looking uncomfortable with this situation, Xander wound himself away from them and dashed over to the two girls.
"The Harpies ensnared me in their claws," Xander whispered lowly to Willow who giggled at this.
"That bad, huh?" she asked.
"Worse," said Xander melodramatically. "I think one of them tried to touch my manly parts and please! You know I'm not having any of that!"
"Don't worry," Buffy soothed, standing at Xander's left side, hooking her arm in his as she patted it. "We're here to protect you from scary straight girls."
"Hallelujah!" Xander declared, shooting his arms up in the air. "I have been saved by the light of the Lord!"
"Right," Willow said in dry tones, taking Xander's hand in her own and leading them down the hall. Looking back at him, she said, "Don't you think all of your problems with scary straight girls might lesson if you just… oh, I don't know… came out of the closet?"
Xander looked horrified at this suggestion. "Come out?" he pressed his hand to his chest. "And face severe social ostracism and many a beatings up from the guys who call themselves my 'friends'? I don't think so Willy the Pooh. That's just not happening," he said firmly.
"Besides, Will," Buffy cut into the conversation, wearing a mischievous grin. "Isn't he obvious enough already? If he came out most everyone would just go 'durh'. Except for the dense girls who chase after him and his--"
"Oh no," Xander said, slapping his hand forcefully over Buffy's mouth to silence her. "We're not going there."
Hazel eyes pleaded with Willow to finish her statement for her, and smiling now, she said, "I'll do it. Your oh so mysterious girlfriend. Of which we've never met."
"You did it," groaned Xander, letting his hand fall away from Buffy's lips. "Why did you do it? We were having a pleasant conversation and you bring up my beard."
"I'm sure she appreciates being called that," Willow pronounced in droll tones.
"Honey, she appreciates me," Xander said, giving his best flirty smile which was rather charming. "I am a catch."
"You're queer as a three dollar bill," Willow stated, rolling her eyes. "And she has no idea. If she really exists. Part of me thinks you made her up in a vague attempt to stave off the ravenous herd that chases after you here."
"She's real!" Xander cried in offense. "Real and hot. Really hot. I have a hottie for a girlfriend beard, I do."
"Uh huh," said Willow skeptically. Xander was about to reply when the redhead went running ahead quickly and stopped in front of the glass case ahead. When Xander and Buffy caught up to her, she was staring at the contest results with an expression of disbelief. "I lost," she said after several seconds of silence. "To Jesse."
"How did you lose?" asked Buffy, glaring at the results, feeling both confused and perturbed with them. "You're the best one in that class, aren't you? Jenny said so."
"I don't know," said Willow sharply. A look of determination spread across her features as she then said, "But I'm going to find out."
---
Sitting at the side desk in Jenny's office, Willow loaded her program onto the spare computer. She went through it step by step and still… she didn't understand. It was a good program. Why did it lose?
"Did you see what Buffy was wearing? I swear, she's giving Joyce and I heart attacks. Constantly we have to hear her complain about the boys that ask her out but she still wears those blasted outfits."
Mr. Giles, she recognized him immediately. Anybody would, he was probably the only British person around in a thousand mile radius. Just as she expected, what she heard next was Jenny's warm laugh. She had always loved hearing that laugh, it was so kind and comforting, but now… well, it just made Willow scowl.
"Honestly, Rupert, what do you expect?" Jenny replied. "Buffy's a teenage girl. They all dress like that."
"Willow doesn't," Giles said smartly, sounding pleased with himself for using this answer.
"Yes," Jenny agreed in smooth tones. "And she's still quite the beauty, isn't she? I sometimes get distracted."
"You're not going to start that 'if I were younger' rubbish again, are you?" Giles questioned. "That's what got you in trouble last time."
"And how would she find out if I did, hmm?" Jenny asked, her tones teasing yet somehow threatening. "Are you the spy who's been snitching me out?"
"If I were, I wouldn't tell you," Giles said, his voice growing distant as he walked out of the room. "She's far more frightening than you could ever be."
Jenny chuckled again, causing Willow's scowl to grow deeper as the computer teacher walked into her office and saw Willow waiting for her. Blinking with shock, she took in the scowl the redhead wore rather warily.
"Willow?" Jenny asked hesitantly.
"Why did I lose?" asked Willow immediately, pulling no punches. "My program was good, I know it was. So why did I lose to Jesse? You always said I was the best."
"You are," said Jenny. Sighing deeply, she massaged her forehead and murmured, "You're the best in the class, you always will be because you have the most talent. But this wasn't about talent… it was about skill. Your program just didn't show the skills I know you have." Jenny looked Willow dead in the eye and said quietly, "To be perfectly honest, it was a disappointment."
Reeling with shock, Willow stared at the computer screen and said in stark tones, "I worked so hard…"
"I know," Jenny was sympathetic. "You always do. It's just, you didn't try very hard, Willow. The winner of this contest had to have the skills, the drive, and the creativity to make an impact with an actual company. I don't think you can do that right now. Because as talented as you are, you're not trying to come up with new ideas."
Willow didn't know why it was but as Jenny said this, all she could hear was the echoing comment about her looks. Looking up at her once favorite teacher with a harsh gaze, she bit out, "I guess I just don't try enough with anything, huh? Maybe I'm just too 'distracting' for you."
"Willow!" said Jenny with alarm, her eyes going wide. "What are you trying to--"
"My program was good and you know it!" Willow declared, storming out of the room. "You know I deserve that internship, not Jesse. He just won because you don't find him nearly as pretty as me."
Alone in her office, Jenny stared at the classroom door slamming shut before she released a huge sigh. Feeling a headache coming on, she muttered to herself, "And today started so good, really it did."
---
Naked boy. Near naked boy. Naked girl. Near naked girl. Naked boy with another naked boy. Near naked boy with a near naked girl. Naked girl with another naked girl. Near naked girl with a naked boy and a naked girl.
And so on and so on.
Poster after poster, Anya lined her walls until one could no longer see the pale blue of the paint and her room was completely covered in naked and near naked bodies.
"Much better," Anya said, giving a contented sigh.
She was about to put up her favorite poster, which had several naked boys and girls featured on it when the ring of the doorbell sounded. Forming a frown, Anya put the poster down on her bed and walked over to her window, peering outside to see who was there.
Immediately on spotting a familiar green jeep, Anya scowled and muttered, "Brainless brawny boy. Huzzah."
A few seconds passed when the doorbell rang several times in sharp succession and rolling her eyes, Anya went to answer the door. Walking downstairs, she said, "She wouldn't touch me if we were the last people alive but she'll boink him? Where is the justice in the world?"
"About time," was Riley's greeting as she opened the door. Stepping around Anya, he gave her an imperious frown then demanded, "Where's Buffy?" His eyes then narrowed. "You better not have molested her."
"Not yet I haven't," replied Anya coyly. When Riley scowled and seemed to move closer to her, she backed up and waved her hands towards the patio. "She's outside, trying to convince Willow not to drown herself."
Turning on his heel, Riley marched outside and observing him, Anya shouted, "Civilized barbarians say thank you!" Shaking her head, Anya walked upstairs. "If that's what a fraternity turns a straight man into… ugh."
Meanwhile, Riley walked outside to a most welcome sight. Buffy clad in a skimpy red bikini top and jeans, sitting on a chaise lounge with Willow next to her talking. Striding over to his girlfriend, he smoothly sat behind her and hugged her waist. Kissing the back of her neck, he said, "Weren't you going to call me? I was worried."
"Sorry," Buffy replied, not looking over her shoulder, still focused on Willow. "I sort of forgot."
"Just don't do it again," Riley lightly teased or at least, attempted to, while his hands wandered up Buffy's back to play with the double knotted ties of the bikini top.
"Yeah, sure," said Buffy absently. "Anyway, Will," she began, looking at her friend. "I know Jenny likes you and all but I don't think she likes likes you, and if she did why would she let you lose? I'd think she'd let you win."
"To throw people off track!" Willow declared hotly. "I just can't believe her. She said I had no creativity, that I didn't push myself to create a great program. That I just do what I know and nothing else."
"She's wrong," said Buffy emphatically. Frowning, she looked over her shoulder at Riley who wore an expression of total concentration as he played with her ties. "What are you doing?" she asked sharply.
"Why do you always make double knots?" Riley whined.
"Stop that!" Buffy ordered, wriggling away from him. "I'm talking to Willow. She's in crisis."
Staring at Willow who met his gaze blankly, Riley commented, "She doesn't look in crisis to me. C'mon," he wheedled. "Her folks are gone… lets have some fun. We can't at your place and the frat house is so crowded."
"Riley!" Buffy shouted in definite outrage. "That's, you, I can't… god!" Rising to her feet, she looked at Willow and said, "I'm sorry, Will, really I am. I'll take him away."
"Huh?" Riley said dimly as Buffy took his hand and dragged him off the patio and into the house.
"Call me later!" called Buffy before she disappeared totally with Riley in tow.
Sitting alone for a moment, Willow sighed then rose to her feet and walked inside. Wandering upstairs, she found herself walking towards Anya's room. It was true that her cousin was a raging pervert but sometimes she was also a good person to talk with.
Unfortunately, when Willow stepped foot inside Anya's room and saw what was plastered all over the walls she no longer knew quite what to say.
"Like it?" Anya grinned on seeing Willow. Spreading her arms wide, she said, "I did some redecoration."
"You made your room a shrine to porno," Willow pointed out dryly, regaining her ability to speak.
"Exactly," said Anya, waggling her eyebrows. "I think it speaks well of my personality and libido. Now when I get ready for sleep at night, I'll be surrounded with all of my fondest dreams, hopes, and future memories." She studied Willow for a moment then said, "You going to tell me what's wrong with you or do I have to guess?"
"My life sucks," Willow complained.
"Oh?" Anya arched an eyebrow, sitting down on her water bed with a muffled wave of noise. "Why's that?"
"You know the computer program I've been working on for that contest at school?" Willow began. "Well, it lost."
"How come?" asked Anya, lying down on her stomach and tucking her pillow under her chin.
"Because I'm a girl," replied Willow sarcastically. Leaning against the wall, she continued, "And Jenny thinks I'm cute. That's why I lost. She doesn't take me seriously. She just sees me as… as… something cute!"
"Uh hmm," Anya said, looking a tad skeptical. "Jenny never struck me as the equal sexist type. Why would you think that anyway?"
"I heard her saying I was a beauty and how if she was younger she'd--" Willow turned bright red. "Anyway! She picked Jesse as the winner and his program wasn't nearly as good as mine. The only reason he won is because he's a boy and uncute so he's taken seriously! Well, I won't stand for it… this is cute prejudice!"
"You don't say," murmured Anya in droll tones. Flipping over to lie on her back, she stared up at her ceiling and the poster directly in front of her. Pointing up at it, she said, "Cecilia had a similar problem. She wanted more than anything to join the army, but where she was from, some foreign country I forget, girls couldn't join. So she dressed up in drag as a guy, called herself Cecil, and joined the army, living out her dream and having semi-gay sex with several unsuspecting queer soldiers who thought she was a gorgeous hunk of girlish man meat."
Blinking at this story, Willow shook her head and said, "As weird as that is, I don't think that helps me."
"Hey," Anya shrugged. "It's a quality porno."
"I bet," said Willow dryly. "But that still doesn't help me with my problem. I just know if I was a guy…" Slowly a look of amazement crossed her features as Willow let her words trail off into nothingness.
"If you were a guy what?" asked Anya, turning around. But by the time she did, Willow was gone. Frowning at this, Anya shrugged again and focused back on looking at her various porno posters. "What a view."
---
Anya was still contemplating her porno posters and perhaps trying out her new vibrator when the doorbell rang yet again, causing her to scowl.
"Always when I'm about to have fun," she remarked to herself, walking downstairs. Opening the door, she stared at the ducked face of a tiny boy wearing a backwards baseball cap. "Yeah?"
"Is Willow home?" the boy asked.
"She's wallowing around here somewhere," Anya acknowledged, turning around. "Willow! Some guy is here to see you!" Facing the boy, she began, "So, who are you…" Anya trailed off as the boy lifted his face and revealed his features in the dim light of their porch. "Willow?" she asked in shock. "What?"
"I fooled you!" Willow proclaimed proudly, walking inside and shutting the door. Pulling off the baseball cap, she continued, "You really thought I was a guy."
"Only because I didn't see your face," Anya replied irritably. Pulling back, she looked at her cousin's outfit and frowned. "What in the hell are you wearing? I didn't know you even owned flannel."
"I sleep in it," Willow replied. Waving her hands about, she said, "But that's not the point! I fooled you! If I can trick you then this could really work! I can do it!"
"Do what?" asked Anya rather warily.
"Be a guy," said Willow breathlessly, giving a grin.
A long moment of absolute silence passed then Anya turned around and said, "You're on crack."
"I'm not! And it's a good plan!" Willow declared, scurrying after Anya who was headed towards her room. "I can enter the contest again at Pylea High and this time I'll win because I'll be a boy when I enter!"
Ignoring Willow's words, Anya stopped in the middle of the room and looked up at her posters, "I never should've told her about your sexcapade adventures, Cecilia. Now she wants to emulate in your freaky footsteps." Forming a slow grin, Anya said, "On second thought…"
"Stop being horny," Willow said, rolling her eyes. "I'm doing this to win the contest, nothing more. I mean, it's a fool proof plan, really. I have to win this time!"
"Willow," said Anya in solemn tones, walking over to her cousin and clasping her shoulders. Locking their eyes she pronounced, "You do know that just because we're Jewish you don't have to emulate Yentl."
Shrugging off Anya's hands, Willow scowled. "Very funny," she replied. "This is a good plan, I know it is. I'll make a very believable boy, trust me."
"Maybe," admitted Anya reluctantly, studying Willow's somewhat androgynous dress. "If you fix a few things."
"Like what?" Willow asked in confusion.
Walking around the redhead, Anya pulled open her closet door to reveal her full length mirror. Standing behind the other girl, who was clad in a pair of dirty jeans and an old flannel shirt, Anya said firmly, "Like your clothes."
---
Lock after lock of hair fell to the floor and seeing just hints of it made Willow start to seriously regret what she was doing. Then again, it was only hair, right? It would grow back… eventually.
Sensing Willow's unease, Xander paused in his cutting to peer down at his friend. "Don't worry, honey," he assured. "When I'm done with you you'll be so pretty gay boys will cry just from the sight of your nummy treats."
"Thanks," said Willow slowly. "I think."
"Now that I think about it," Buffy began as she studied Willow closely. "She would make a very pretty boy."
"Oh lord, the prettiest," Xander declared, snipping off more of Willow's hair with certain flourish. "She's got that sweet face of hers and those to die for eyes. Yum. If you were a man, I'd snap you up so quick, Willy." Frowning as he continued cutting her hair, he said, "You should've been born a boy, my love life would be perfect then."
"Sorry," Willow chuckled. "Blame my dad for that."
"Oh, I do," said Xander darkly. "Evil x chromosome."
"Evil?" said Buffy, sounding offended. "Hey now. Just because Will isn't the right gender to suit your romantic fancy is no reason to insult our only chromosome."
"Sorry, sorry," Xander said airily, giving a final snip before he stood back to study Willow closely. "Mmm. I could just eat 'him' up. What do you think?"
"I'd do her," Anya commented, causing everyone to look at her. Before this, she'd been fairly quiet, just lying down on Willow's bed, observing the hair styling by Xander.
"That somehow doesn't reassure me," Willow said dryly.
"You look hot, Will," said Buffy. "See for yourself."
Following Buffy's suggestion, Willow took the towel off from around her shoulders and walked into her bathroom to get a look at herself in the mirror. Her immediate reaction was to gasp softly in surprise. She knew her hair would be gone… that Xander was cutting most of it off. But still, it was another thing to see it gone.
Running her fingers through her short, spiky, locks that were barely two inches long, if even that, Willow studied her face closely. The vague hints of makeup were gone to leave her face paler than usual but somehow…
"Stop staring at yourself, you look utterly fuckable," Anya said bluntly, leaning on the doorway to the bathroom. "It puts Cecilia in drag to shame. Come on," Anya continued, taking Willow's hand in her own and forming a lascivious smile. "We've still got to dress you."
When they walked back into her room, Xander was arranging various outfits on Willow's bed. Looking up, he smiled widely. "I've got you a spectacular wardrobe, honey," he announced. "You'll make hearts flutter."
"Yeah?" asked Willow with a grin. Walking over to him, she looked at the collection of sharply tailored pants, silk button up shirts, and cashmere sweaters. "Xander," she said in amazement. "Did you buy this all for me?"
"Oh, hell no," Xander said, looking at Willow like she was a science experiment. He went back to arranging the outfits and said, "I got them for my tiny boy, except he's mad at me right now and refuses to wear them. I swear, if he'd just leave the pride issue alone we'd be fine. That and if I could get him to wear something other than jeans."
"Mysterious boyfriend," Buffy giggled, leaning towards Willow. "Whom we've never met either."
"I think he's ashamed of us," remarked Willow slyly.
"Embarrassed, maybe, ashamed, never," Xander said in droll tones, finishing his outfit arranging. Looking back at Willow, he studied her for a moment then turned back to pick out a pair of black tailored pants and a long sleeved green button up shirt. "Put this on," he commanded.
A moment of silence passed then together, Willow, Xander, and Buffy all turned to look at Anya.
"What?" asked Anya, attempting to be innocent.
"Out," they said together.
"Poo," Anya pouted, allowing Xander to propel her out of the room. "You always ruin my fun."
Moments later, Willow was dressed and a halfway pouting Anya was back in her room, observing her cousin in full drag. Standing next to Xander and Buffy who were eyeing Willow with utmost solemnity, Anya smiled sensuously. "Something's missing."
"What?" asked Willow, peering at herself. She'd even gone the extra length and used some icky sports tape to help press her breasts down. It was sort of uncomfortable but hell, now she looked more like a guy.
Anya's smile widened and striding over to Willow she stood behind her and slowly traced her hands down to cup the redhead's waist. Then in a sudden movement, she grabbed Willow's crotch as her cousin shrieked.
Bouncing away from Willow before she could get hit, Anya smirked and said smugly, "No equipment. Don't even tell me that someone won't notice that."
"Barring an expensive operation, I can't fix that," Willow scowled at Anya.
"Oh!" Xander shouted, clapping his hands together. "I nearly forgot! My bag of manly parts!"
"Bag of manly parts?" Buffy and Willow echoed, watching as their friend dashed towards the shopping bag lying on the side of Willow's bed.
"I like him," Anya purred, her smile getting wider.
"Honey, everyone does," Xander chuckled as he searched through the bag. "Gotcha!" he said with triumph before he pulled out a strap on dildo.
Staring at it for several moments as she tried to ignore Anya's wild howls of laughter, Willow finally said, "Do I even want to know?"
"You put it on," Xander said, sounding like he was talking to a six year old. "Then it'll seem like you have the stuff." He paused and then formed a naughty smile. "Unless they try to check for themselves."
"They?" Willow squeaked. "Who's they?"
Xander's smile grew naughtier as he walked over to Willow and purred lowly, "The girls, my lovely little androgynously confused friend, the girls."
The only response Willow had was to squeak again.
---
Stopping her red convertible at the front of Pylea High, Buffy solemnly locked her eyes with Willow's.
"Will," she began, reaching out to clasp their hands. "You're my best friend, my oldest friend besides Xander, and I support everything you do… even this strange journey into cross dressing, but promise me one thing."
"What, Buffy?" asked Willow, looking confused.
"You won't root for their team," Buffy said, her expression deathly serious. "They're our mortal enemies and if I saw you at some football game, sitting on their side of the field while I was cheering…"
"Buffy," Willow sighed hugely. "I don't go to our own games, why in the world would I go to one of theirs?"
"I don't know, why are you in drag?" asked Buffy smartly.
"Funny," Willow rolled her eyes. Shaking her head, she squeezed Buffy's hand smiled warmly. "I promise that I'll show no signs of school spirit for my two weeks here."
"Much better," said Buffy, beaming widely. She watched Willow climb out of her car and once the redhead shut the door with a slam, she teased, "Be a good boy."
"Ha," Willow replied dryly. Observing as her friend drove away, she shook her head and turned around to face her temporarily new high school.
Pylea High was just like she heard. Totally crappy. Sunnydale High was only a few miles away but the two schools were completely different. Maybe because all the upper middle class and way upper class families had their kids attending Sunnydale while everyone else…
Well, everyone else got stuck at Pylea.
To be perfectly honest, it was known as high school hell among certain circles. The students were rumored to be an uncontrolled class of criminals, freaks, and psychos.
It almost made Willow wonder if she really should be dressed in her ultra expensive black tailored pants, dark blue shirt, and black dress shoes.
Well, it was too late now.
She had only walked five feet on campus when a gangly boy went running past her at top speeds. Willow leapt out of his way just in time to see a group of two girls and two boys come barreling after him. They were all dressed head to toe in black, most of it leather.
"Where do you think you're going?" the tallest boy growled. He was smoothly muscular with a head of hair Xander would die for.
"Yeah, ducks," the second boy chuckled, circling around the boy as the taller one held him off the ground. "We're not done with you yet. That's not all your money, is it?"
"Miss Edith says he has lovely greens hidden, hidden, away deep down, down in the undies," the lithe brunette in the group sang out, dancing around the blonde boy as she twirled her hands high in the air. "Poof! Gone!"
Smiling wickedly at this, the blonde girl reached for the brunette's waist, pulling her close so they were pressed together. Leaning down, their faces were inches apart as she murmured, "Really, Dru?"
"Hidden away," Dru giggled happily, reaching her hands up to cup the blonde's face. "Will Darla buy me treats?"
"Darla will buy you more than that," Darla promised, giving a harsh smile. Looking over at the tall boy who was nearly strangling the boy as he kept holding him off the ground, she said calmly, "Take his money and drop him, Angelus. Our baby girl needs her fix."
"Spike and I wanted to have fun," Angelus pouted while the blonde boy searched the boy's pants and pulled out a wad of money which he tossed at Darla.
Catching the cash easily, Darla raised a fine blonde eyebrow then pronounced, "Then have fun." She turned on her heel, taking Dru's hand in her own. "But it will be without us." She was about to say more when she noticed Willow gazing at them. "Yes?"
Her eyes going wide, Willow stammered, "Sorry! I just… I mean… I'm new and… sorry!"
"Fresh meat, yeah?" Spike grinned evilly. "I think we just found our next 'donator' to the cause, Darla. Mr. Fancy is probably just stuffed with bills."
Now having a full blown panic attack, Willow tried to come up with something to say to get herself out of this situation when a voice called out, "He's with me!"
Green eyes turned to look at their savior and Willow felt her breath still in her chest when she was met the deepest blue eyes she'd ever seen. A blonde girl with hair that ran evenly down her back met her gaze steadily. She had on a pair of boots, loose cargo pants, and a shrunken t-shirt that revealed just a hint of her flat abdomen.
"Tara," said Darla in tones of tired annoyance. "Don't you ever get tired of being such a goody two shoes?"
"Not really," Tara quirked her lips up in a smile. Tilting her head to one side, she asked, "Don't you ever get tired of hoping to get my best friend back in the sack?"
Forming a definite scowl, Darla stomped away, dragging Dru with her as Angelus and Spike followed after. Spike lingered a moment and said cheekily, "She won't want the Slayer forever, you know. Soon as she stops…" He trailed off and smiled darkly. "Bye, bye, blondie."
Tara watched them walk away before she turned back to face Willow. Giving a warm smile, she said, "Don't worry about them. They won't bother you again, I promise."
"Thanks," said Willow with relief. "I owe you."
"No problem," Tara replied, waving it off. "I hate it when they pick on the new kids. It gives a bad impression right away of our school and people should have at least the whole day to realize it sucks here." She blushed then said, "That probably sounded really bad."
"No," Willow grinned. "It was honest. I like that." She blinked then exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry. My name's Willo… Will Rosenberg." She offered her hand.
"Tara Maclay," said Tara with a smile, taking Willow's hand and giving a soft handshake.
Distracted by the warmth and softness of Tara's touch, Willow was staring down at their hands when she heard someone shout out the other girl's name.
"I have to go," Tara said, pulling her hand away from Willow's. "It was nice meeting you, Will. Maybe I'll see you around."
"Yeah, maybe," said Willow distantly, standing frozen as Tara jogged over to a dark haired brunette who looked at her with a pair of narrowed eyes.
Seconds later, the bell rang.
"Great," Willow groaned. "Five minutes on campus and I almost get beaten up and robbed and now I'm late."
Then again, she did meet Tara. She seemed nice. Very nice. Very, very, nice. And brave and pretty and…
"Ugh," Willow groaned again, shaking her head as she trooped inside her new school aka war zone. "I should've gotten more sleep. I'm starting to think like a boy."
Whether this was good or bad is yet to be known.
---
"Tara Bear, I love you but you're a pain in my ass."
Smiling impishly, Tara studied her best friend's lovely features that were constricted in a familiar frown. She was used to seeing this expression. It was something that always happened after she did something dangerous.
Or at least something dangerous according to Faith.
"I had to help him," Tara replied in explanation. The two were seated at their usual table, having lunch. Faith's reputation and proof as a kick ass fighter with a short fuse kept them both out of trouble with most everyone. And the few people who weren't scared of Faith wanted to fuck her which left them pretty much safely insulated. Darla and her crew were among the latter. "He's new and the Vamps were going to eat him up, Faith."
"Uh huh," Faith said skeptically. Taking a bite of her sandwich she contemplated this a moment before she set it down and said, "Darla's pissed. If you keep this up I might have to throw down with them."
Tara's blue eyes widened in alarm and she said quietly, "I don't want that. I'll lay low for awhile. Not make them mad."
"That's my girl," Faith drawled, forming a grin. The grin left her as she jerked her head to one side. "Ain't that your boy? He's an awfully pretty thing, that's for sure."
Following Faith's gaze, Tara looked across the cafeteria and smiled softly on seeing Will holding a lunch tray and wearing a lost expression on his elfin features. Turning back to Faith, she looked at her with doe eyes.
"Aw, dammit," said Faith with exasperation. "It's not enough that you save his scrawny ass from the Vamps, you want him to eat with us too? What's with you today, Tara Bear? You havin' case worker flashbacks?"
"He's nice," Tara said lamely.
Tara didn't know what else to say, because she really didn't know why she wanted to see the boy again. It certainly didn't have to do with the fact that he had the most beautiful green eyes and a lilting voice. No, it had nothing to do with that at all. After all, she was a--
"Hi Tara."
"Will," Tara breathed his name out, trying her best to ignore the huge smirk Faith wore on her features. "Hi."
"Can I…?" Willow began hesitantly, darting her gaze from Tara to Faith to Tara again.
"Yeah, it's fine," said Tara quickly. She looked over at Faith then said, "Isn't it, Faith?"
"Yeah, yeah," Faith rolled her eyes. "It's peachy keen."
"Thanks," said Willow gratefully, sitting next to Tara. "I'm not used to being at a new school. It's strange…"
"Well, you are sort of out of place," Tara agreed. When Willow and Faith both focused on her after she said this, she turned bright red. "I just meant your clothes are a lot nicer than most people's here and… oh, god, forget it," she declared, waving her hands a bit. "I said nothing."
"What Tara's tryin' to say is you look like you got money and most kids here don't," Faith stated plainly. "It's bound to get you into trouble eventually. In fact, sorta already did, huh?"
"Yeah," said Willow reluctantly. She looked down at her clothes which Xander had picked out so carefully for her and sighed. "I guess I'll have to adjust my wardrobe."
"No, it's all right," Tara shook her head. When Willow looked at her, she ducked her head and said softly, "You look nice." Looking up at Willow, she continued, "And I took care of the Vamps."
"You mean my rep took care of them," Faith corrected, leaning back in her chair, smirking. When Tara stuck out her tongue as a reply, Faith drawled, "Save it for later."
"The Vamps?" asked Willow with a frown.
"Yeah," said Faith, giving a nod. She jerked her thumb over at the group from before who were once again busy threatening a kid for his money. "Them guys. That's what they call themselves. Has something to do with the super whacked out Goth scene they're into." Faith's face spread into a huge grin and she said, "Only thing I know is that their leader, Darla, is a certified babe who got a thing for me after I thrashed her boy Angelus."
"Ever since they've called Faith 'the Slayer' for some reason," Tara supplied, leaning closer to Willow. "Don't ask why though. They're sort of," she twirled her finger in a circle by her head and made a funny face as she whistled.
Chuckling softly, Willow said, "They sound scary."
"They are," said Tara solemnly. She pulled back and smiled warmly. "But I'm not scared. I have Faith." She looked over at her friend and said, "She's my leather clad warrior of truth and justice."
"Shut it, smart ass," Faith replied dryly.
Smiling as she observed the two friends banter back and forth, Willow no longer found the school quite as awful as she first thought it to be.
And it was all thanks to Tara.
---
Staring at the blonde woman that sat in front of her, Willow wondered if it was some sort of requirement that all computer teachers in the area be drop dead gorgeous.
"Miss Lockley?" Willow began hesitantly, observing as the woman scoured over her program.
"Call me Kate," the teacher replied absently, running through the final stages of the program.
"Kate," Willow tried again. "What do you think? Is it good enough for the contest with Walsh Enterprises?"
Looking up from the program, Kate looked at Willow with lidded blue gray eyes. "It's a good program," she started, trying her best to ignore the hope that lit up on Willow's features. "But not good enough to enter."
For the second time in a week, Willow felt her world go crashing down around her. Why? She worked so hard on it. What was wrong with the program? With her?
Seeing Willow's confusion and hurt, Kate continued, "This contest is about operating within the stressful life as a software designer, Will. Often you have to come up with a program with next to nothing to guide you." She paused to consider her words then smiling softly, she asked, "We're a capitalist scum society, right?"
"Yeah," said Willow, still sounding confused.
"In such, you've got to sell it," Kate smirked. "Sell your program and sell yourself. You just aren't doing that right now. What did you design? An operating system. Hell, that's all well and good but do we need more of those?" Kate snorted then said, "Do we need more lawyers?"
Smiling reluctantly, Willow said, "I see your point."
"You have two weeks," reminded Kate gently. "That's more than enough time to write a new program. I think you can do it. But this time think along the lines of creating something people won't know they need until they see it. And once they see it?" Kate grinned. "They can't live without it."
"Yeah, all right," said Willow, her tones disappointed as she rose to her feet and walked out of the classroom.
Watching Willow go, Kate sighed to herself then murmured, "Poor kid. Hated to do that but an O.S.?" She shuddered then turned back to her computer, eyes narrowing at the instant message she received. "What?! She got the new scanners first?! I swear, I'll get that woman…"
---
"I'm depressed," Willow mumbled, taking a bite of her chocolate chocolate fudge chip ripple ice cream. "Maybe my life has been a huge lie. I hate computers and what I really want to do is teach gym class."
"You're manly enough now to do it," said Anya not so helpfully, causing Willow to glare at her. "Hey, it's true."
Stretching out on Willow's unusually large bed, Buffy looked at her best friend. "Don't be depressed," she said, her tones pleading. "Whenever you're depressed you end up making me depressed. It's the sad eyes, I think."
"I'm sorry," said Willow, looking at Buffy with her sad green eyes that caused the blonde to shriek and cover up her own before her mood went downhill. Heaving a huge sigh, Willow murmured, "I'm just so confused."
"You should be," Anya remarked. She nodded at Xander who was sprawled out in a nearby chair. "You're wearing his underwear."
"Eww, I got her new ones, thank you much," Xander replied, crinkling up his nose in distaste. He looked over at Willow and said, "Why don't you just come back to school again, Willy? I mean, so what if I gave you a dykey haircut? We all love you there."
"Love you sooooo much," Buffy added, her eyes soft.
Staring at Buffy for a moment, Willow pointed her spoon at the blonde cheerleader. "Five guys today?"
"Seven," Buffy corrected, her eyes baleful. "It's an epidemic. Plus Xander almost got molested today."
Willow turned to Xander who shivered and would only say that a girl snuck her hand somewhere he never wanted a girl's hand to be remotely near.
"I'm sorry you guys," Willow said after considering the option of giving up. "But I have to stay. Maybe my program isn't good but I can come up with an idea for a new one. Plus," she beamed widely. "Everyone really thought I was a guy. It worked. All I really need is a new idea… a great idea for a program."
Anya opened her mouth to say something and Willow immediately cut her off, scowling as she said, "I'm not programming anything with sex games, Anya."
"Poo," Anya sighed heavily. "Even in drag you're no fun."
---
The next day, Willow was still in drag, and wearing one of the flared collar shirts Xander picked out for her. One that looked great on her but was extremely itchy.
Willow was contemplating changing her wardrobe as she opened up her locker and got out her math book. She had no idea why she was even doing her homework here. It's not like she was staying to get the grades.
Workaholic studying habit, she supposed.
"Great," a nearby girl's voice said dramatically. "I've lost the back of my earring again."
Poking her head around the locker, Willow looked at the figure of a statuesque brunette with beautiful sculptured features. Recalling Buffy complaining about something similar, Willow stuck her head back in her locker to rifle around until she found a pencil and pulled off the eraser.
Shutting her locker with ease, Willow stepped close to the brunette who blinked at this action. "Here," Willow began as she offered up the eraser. "Just use this until the end of the day. It's a temporary solution that works."
"Thanks," the girl said with an easy smile. "I owe you." Noticing the looks of interest her companions gave the newcomer, she said, "I'm Cordelia. And you?"
"Will," said Willow quickly. It had taken awhile but after several introductions around school she was finally used to giving out the shortened version of her name.
"Be seeing you around, Will," said Cordelia smoothly, walking around Willow and brushing against her slightly as she gave another winning smile.
"Yeah," Willow echoed, frowning as she wondered if she had just been flirted with. "See you around."
"Cordelia!" Harmony cried as soon they were out of earshot. "Wasn't he the yummiest? I mean, I usually don't like guys so short but god, he can dress!"
"That he can," Cordelia replied with a smile.
All the while, thinking in the back of her mind that he dressed a little too well. Especially for a straight boy. That just caused Cordelia's smile to widen even more.
At last, she sighed inwardly, a better prospect.
---
Faith was eating lunch peacefully, enjoying her time with her two closest friends when Tara rose to her feet, waved her hand, and called out, "Will! Over here!"
Suddenly, Faith wasn't enjoying lunch quite so much.
Noticing this change, Oz nudged her with his elbow and looked at her with concerned sky blue eyes. "You okay?" he asked, his voice turning softer than usual, if possible.
"I'm fine," Faith answered. She watched Will walk towards them then turned back to Oz. "Just not used to the new boy that Tara's adopted, I guess."
"What's new and unusual scares people," Oz said wisely, pulling away from Faith and wearing a small smile.
Rolling her dark eyes, Faith tapped Oz on his forehead then said, "Thanks. I needed to hear that, Dorothy."
"No problem," said Oz with a mischievous grin.
The two turned back just in time to see Will sit next to Tara and them begin to talk quietly. Upon noticing the stares, Will turned to face them. "Hi," he said, looking at Oz curiously. "I don't think we've met. I'm Will."
"Oz," supplied Oz, offering his hand, looking surprised as he felt the softness of Will's hands. It reminded him of…
Frowning as she noticed Oz's features darken, Willow asked hesitantly, "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, fine," Oz shook his head and looked apologetic. "Having a lousy flashback, that's all."
"Need to dump that dipstick," Faith said strongly, her tones were softened by the fact she reached up to ruffle the back of Oz's hair. "They're not good enough."
"No," Oz said quietly, his tones firm. "It's all right. We're spending some time apart, to think it over."
"Uh huh," said Faith in knowing tones as she looked over at Tara. "And we all know how that goes, right?"
Right after Faith said this, Tara turned bright red and Willow opened her mouth to ask a question when she heard her name being called out. Looking towards the sound, she was met with the sight of Cordelia waving at her and wearing a wide smile.
"It works!" Cordelia informed, smiling. "Thanks!"
"I'm glad!" Willow responded, returning the smile without helping it. When she turned back to the group she noticed everyone had their eyes on her. "Yes?" she squeaked.
"You know Chase?" asked Faith lowly.
"Cordelia?" Willow blinked. "Not really. I just told her how to fix her earring, that's all. Why?"
"No reason," said Faith, her eyes turning to Tara who was looking off into the distance. "We're cool."
"Okay," said Willow slowly. She also turned her gaze to the blonde and said softly, "Tara?"
"Huh?" Tara jerked, as if she'd been woken out of a deep slumber then offered a shy smile. "Sorry," she said. "I was just thinking, that's all."
"It's okay," Willow reassured. She gave a wry grin, then said, "Smart people tend to do that." Noticing the pair of headphones around the blonde's neck for the first time, she asked, "What are you listening to?"
A huge smile gracing her features, one that took Willow's breath away, Tara took off the headphones to hand them over. "Faith and Oz's band," she said. "They're great."
"We're playing prom," Oz said in dry tones. "Ohhhh."
"Ahhhhh," Faith added, giving a snicker.
"Stop it, you two," Tara ordered, pointing her index finger at them. "Prom is just to get Snyder off our backs. You've got plenty of real gigs and you know it." Turning back to Willow, she said softly, "Go on. Give it a listen."
Doing as Tara said, Willow put on the headphones and was met with the sounds of rapid drum beats, strong guitar riffs, and the sexiest siren's song she ever heard. She pulled off the headphones and looked at Faith.
"You're the singer?" she guessed, looking impish.
"Yeah," Faith said, her eyes narrowing. She didn't know why but she didn't trust this guy. Maybe it was because Tara liked him a little too much. "How'd you guess."
"It sounded like you," said Willow simply.
Faith studied Willow a moment later, then snorted as she shook her head. "Whatever," she said.
"So," Willow looked to Oz who was definitely the more receptive of the two. "What's your band's name?"
"Not Driving Stick," Oz said, his expression deadpan.
"Okayyy," Willow drew the word out, vowing to herself that she'd resist the urge to ask why they were named that.
"You should come see a show sometime," Tara said with a smile, touching Willow's arm lightly. "It's fun."
Reveling in the warmth that spread through her, Willow didn't notice a pair of eyes boring into her from across the cafeteria with disarming intensity.
"Cordy?"
Continuing to stare at Will and Tara, who STILL had her hand resting on his arm, Cordelia scowled. "That's it," she said to herself. "I'm going to get him."
"Will?" asked Harmony, catching the last statement. Moving to look at where he was sitting and who he was sitting next to, she giggled. "Well, that won't be too hard, Cordy. Especially when you consider that the girls he's hanging out with have no interest in the male gender. I swear, poor Will, he just has no idea, does he? I wonder if he actually likes Tara or something."
"Yeah," Cordelia's scowl grew deeper. "I wonder."
---
Perched on the small brick wall that surrounded a pathetic attempt at a garden, Willow waited for the familiar sight of Buffy in her car, coming to pick her up.
After several minutes, a shadow fell over her and Willow looked up to see Cordelia. "Will," she seemed to purr as a slow smile spread across her features. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," said Willow, feeling a bit confused. "Just waiting for my ride, that's all. How about you?"
"Good, now that I'm with you," Cordelia replied coyly, sitting next to Willow and reaching out to touch her leg. "I was wondering, what are you doing this weekend?"
Green eyes went wide and Willow swallowed nervously as she realized she was being asked out. Asked out by a very attractive but somehow scary girl. She finally knew how Xander felt when it happened to him.
Before Willow could come up with an appropriate reply, she saw Tara walking towards the parking lot. Giving into the strong need to flee rather than deal with the situation, Willow got to her feet and shouted, "Tara!"
The blonde turned to face her and Willow noticed her face fall into a sad expression as she saw them. Walking over, she stopped in front of them, her eyes locked on Cordelia who met her gaze steadily.
"Cordelia," said Tara, her voice going cold for the first time since Willow had met her.
"Tara," replied Cordelia in equally chilly tones. She turned back to Willow and smiled widely. "Now," she said, reaching out to touch her. "About our date."
"I have to go," Willow said quickly, moving away from Cordelia and hiding slightly behind Tara. "I'm getting a ride home from Tara, so I'll see you later. Okay?"
"Sure," said Cordelia, giving a nod. She paused and then formed another seductive smile. "Definitely later."
"Right," Willow laughed nervously, taking Tara's hand and pulling the blonde girl away with her. It took a few moments and feet away for her to realize she still had their hands locked together. Releasing them, she laughed nervously again and said, "Sorry. I guess I forgot."
"It's okay," said Tara, smiling quietly. They walked side by side in silence, then she ducked her head and said, "I'm guessing you're not too eager to date Cordelia, huh?"
"She's nice, but no," said Willow, fighting the urge to make a childish expression. When she saw the teasing smile on Tara's expression she figured she failed. "I'm sorry," she shook her head. "It's just… no."
"You don't have to explain," Tara murmured. "I understand. But not many guys would say no to her." Silently, she added: not many girls either. Looking back at Willow, she found solemn green eyes studying her. "What is it?" she asked in soft surprise.
"Nothing," said Willow w
