Okay guys, here is the long-awaited ghost-writer part. I decided since I'd left you without an update for so long, that you would get two tonight. So, hands together for DarkWiccan, writer of this update!
Part 9c - Making Things Better
Tara turned to walk down the hallway, tugging gently at Willow’s hand when she felt her lover pause. Not feeling the answering squeeze, she turned to see Willow’s face, unnaturally white, a panicked look forefront in her eyes. Worried that she was going to pass out again, Tara moved swiftly towards her, arms outstretched.
“I’m not going to pass out,” Willow reassured her, sensing her girlfriend’s alarm. She nodded her head curtly towards the end of the corridor, and their bedroom. “It’s just – the last time we were in that room together, you…” she let her voice drift away, then admitted, “There’s a lot of memories that I don’t want to relive, Tara. Ever.”
Tara’s eyes became soft and clear with a sad smile of emotion. She completed her cross to her love and gently placed her hands on either side of Willow’s face, resting their foreheads against each other. “I’m here now,” she whispered, “I’m here. The past is done and all we have now is the future.” She lowered one hand to lightly caress her girlfriend’s tummy. Willow clasped Tara’s hand in her own against her stomach as the blonde lightly kissed her lips. “Let’s make some new memories”, she smiled. Willow nodded mutely and allowed herself to be led those last few steps into their old bedroom. Into their new bedroom.
Tara gently deposited Willow on the edge of the bed. The redhead seeming almost innocent and afraid, the stigma of the room still not lost to her. She sat, her hand still clasped in the blonde’s, her green eyes focused intently on the blue of her girlfriend, unwilling to let go, afraid to break any connection.
The blonde started to take a step back to begin taking off her clothes, but Willow’s grip on her hand held fast and she would not let Tara go.
“Sweetie”, Tara smiled lopsidedly, “I need my hand. I’d like to undress for you. I want you to watch. But spastic one-handed undressing isn’t exactly what I was planning on. I was thinking more sexy two-handed and slow. What do you think?”
Willow swallowed an audible gulp, trying to keep the tears welling in her eyes at bay. She was still panicking, still nervous, and she couldn’t bring herself to… “I don’t want to let you go”, she admitted in a strangled whisper.
“I’m not going anywhere”, Tara assured her, her voice equally low.
“I’m not going to let you go”, the redhead repeated, tightening her grip a little.
Tara took in the sight of Willow before her, so small sitting there on the bed, clinging to her like a small child clings to her mother. Willow needed to feel safe, and she had lost her safe place. This room. The room where she didn’t have to be brave, the room where everything didn’t have to be good and fine. The safety of this room had been ripped away from her. And by Goddess, Tara decided right then and there, that she was going to bring the safe place back.
“Okay”, she finally nodded, “You don’t have to let go.” She moved Willow’s hand in her own and placed it on her hip, encouraging the hacker to trade the grip on her hand for the bunching of skirt fabric that rested there. Willow obliged and tangled the material into her fingers, never unlocking her eyes from her girlfriend’s.
With Willow’s hand now resting on her hip, Tara leant down and kissed the redhead gently on the forehead. Standing back up she moved her hands to the hem of her saffron yellow shirt, curling her fingers under the lip of fabric, she began to draw it slowly up. Willow watched intently as her lover revealed her body to her, her fingers instinctively tightening in the cool fabric of Tara’s skirt. She watched, captivated, as the soft yellow drew up to expose first the soft pale abdomen, familiar and comforting and warm. Then the nude colored bra holding within it the perfect rounded orbs of the blonde’s breasts, the flesh bulging slightly out of their confinement. Next the smooth canvas of her shoulders and neck, followed by the crackling of static as Tara finished pulling the shirt up over her head and down off her long golden hair that cascaded back down to contrast against her pale skin.
Willow’s eyes darted of their own volition to the place of Tara’s heart, needing to see, having to know, was her lover marred or scarred or left with any trace of the wrong that had been done to her. She felt tears begin to well in her eyes as she found the small scar that blemished her lover’s perfect skin. With her free hand, she reached up and caressed the permanent reminder, tiny in its size, but gargantuan in its imagery as the scene of that horrible day suddenly played unbidden through the redhead’s mind. Unable to hold her tears at bay anymore, Willow wrapped her arms tightly around Tara’s waist, burying her face in between her breasts, seeking the warm and familiar comfort as she sobbed.
Tara held Willow’s head to her chest, gently running her fingers through auburn tresses in an effort to sooth her sweetheart’s frantic weeping. Deciding quickly, she knelt down onto her knees between Willow’s legs, so that now they were eye-level with one another. Still holding the redhead’s face between her hands, the blonde kissed the tears away, finally settling their lips together in a kiss that communicated pure love and devotion, perennial, unchanging and forever. The embrace had helped to calm Willow’s breathing some, thereby also slowing her tears, and Tara took the opportunity to pull back and look deep into her lover’s eyes.
“No more tears”, she said firmly but softly. “I’m here. We’re here. So let’s be here together. Okay?”
Willow could only bring herself to nod, fearing that if she attempted to speak, her emotion would overwhelm her once again and she’d be reduced to a blubbering mess. A happy blubbering mess, but a blubbering mess just the same.
Tara smiled coyly and moved her hands to the hem of Willow’s shirt. “You, my love, have far too much clothing on”, she stated as she pulled the garment up the redhead’s body, very pleased to find that her girlfriend was more than willing to oblige in the removal of this article of fabric. She then slipped her fingers to the waistband of Willow’s jeans and deftly undid the button and unzipped the fly, prepared to whisk the pants from off her lover’s legs, when she felt a hand on top of hers, halting her actions.
“I thought you said that you wanted to undress for me”, Willow pouted playfully, “Not help me undress.”
“Alright”, agreed the blonde, rising to her feet, moving her hands behind her back to undo her bra. “But for every piece I take off, you have to take the equivalent off of you.”
“Except for panties.” Willow noted.
Tara furrowed her brow in confusion. “Why ‘except for panties’?”
“Because you can’t take off what you don’t have on”, the redhead explained plainly.
“But I’m wearing panties…” Tara replied, and then raised her eyebrows in understanding. “Ooooh.” She had been in such a hurry to strip her girlfriend of her pants, that she hadn’t noticed that what had been peeking back at her through the parting of the fly was certainly not a pair of underwear. She couldn’t help but smile. “Commando I see.”
“I was in such a hurry to get out of that hospital that I didn’t bother to put them on”, Willow elucidated with a grin.
“You’d think I would have noticed that”, Tara commented dryly, completing the removal of her bra, tossing it aside.
“Yes, well, I was sneaky Willow”, said the hacker as she also slipped off her smaller-sized brassiere, her eyes glued to the beauty of her girlfriend’s half-naked body.
Tara was similarly awe-struck at the site of her lover, but she somehow managed to swallow her admiration for just long enough to say, “Well then. I guess to be fair I should take off my skirt and panties at the same time.”
“It is only fair”, Willow approved watching intently as the blonde’s thumbs slipped into the elastic band of her skirt, looping into her underwear, and sliding them both down until she stood in a fabric puddle on the floor.
Tara looked up to see Willow looking at her with an expression of total speechlessness coupled with hungry lust and absolute affection. She grinned lopsidedly as she placed her hands on her hips, shifting her weight to one foot and eyeing her girlfriend’s jeans that still covered her legs and other more intimate places. “Well?” she asked expectantly, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh!” said Willow, snapping out of it momentarily to hastily scoot out of her pants, kicking off her sneakers and socks in the process. “Better?” she inquired.
“Much”, Tara agreed, stepping forward to straddle her lover’s legs so that she now sat on her lap, her upper arms resting in a light embrace across Willow’s shoulders. The redhead brought her arms around Tara’s back, holding her firmly in place. Their lips met in a deep and passionate kiss as mouths opened and tongues dipped and explored, caressing each other firmly yet gently, tasting each other again for the first time.
Willow began to lean back and together they plopped onto the mattress giggling through their kisses. Tara let out a soft moan of appreciation has Willow’s hand dipped down between the gentle cleft of her behind, squeezing lightly, before sliding her hand back up along the smooth skin of her back, caressing.
As the kiss drew to a close, Tara pulled her head back slightly and, resting her weight on her elbow, lifted her hand to brush aside the hair that still clung to her lover’s face. A gesture of affection and love. They looked deep into each other’s eyes, sharing silent thoughts for a long time until Tara finally found the voice to speak.
“Do you remember the first time?” she asked, still maintaining the deep stare into green eyes.
“There were a lot of first times”, Willow responded softly, her hands stroking up and down her girlfriend’s back and arms. “The first time we hugged. The first time we held hands. The first time we slept in the same bed. Uh, as in ‘sleeping’ slept.” She clarified needlessly. “The first time we kissed. That’s one of my favorites. The first time we said ‘I love you’.”
“The first time we made love”, finished Tara in a sensual whisper.
“That too”, Willow smiled.
“You were so nervous”, commented the blonde as she briefly captured her girlfriend’s lips.
“So were you”, Willow countered as they pulled apart.
“I wasn’t nervous, Willow.”
“You weren’t?”
“No”, Tara answered. “I was scared. Scared I was going to lose you.”
Willow’s voice softened to almost inaudible. “I did lose you.”
“I’m back now”, the blonde soothed. “Do you remember the last time?” she asked after a pause.
“Yes”, Willow admitted. “But it’s hard to think about without automatically remembering what happened next.” She added with a small gulp.
“I know, darling. But it was what happened next that gave us such a beautiful gift”, Tara stated. Willow looked back at her quizzically. The blonde witch smiled and rolled off to the left side of her girlfriend, so that her body cradled that of her love’s. She drew her left hand down and lovingly caressed the redhead’s belly. “Because of it, we made her”, she explained softly.
Willow held Tara’s hand against her skin, feeling the warmth and wonder of knowing that their love had created something so beautiful and amazing. She met Tara’s lips in a kiss of fiery passion that quickly consumed them both. Hands began to wander across smooth canvases of skin to caress and mold pliable breasts and massage the muscle and flesh of arms and legs and backs. Willow dipped her head and found Tara’s alert breasts with her lips and tongue, gently teething, sucking and licking the aroused points. The blonde arched her back, thrusting her chest forward in appreciation at the attention, letting out a long moan that only served to urge her lover further as she felt her other breast being eagerly groped and tweaked by one of Willow’s free hands. The other hand, she noted, was firmly attached to her behind, occasionally slipping between her legs to test and tease her most intimate of places.
Willow’s love-making was at almost a frenzied pace, as if she were afraid that it was all a dream, and she only had so much time before she woke up and found herself alone again. Tara recognized her girlfriend’s almost panicked attentions and knew that she had to once again reassure her that she was back and there to stay, and she wanted to take pleasure in every moment. She reached up with her left hand and placed it on Willow’s right shoulder, gently pushing her away, and hoping that Willow wouldn’t think that she was rejecting her.
“Tara?” Willow asked, looking into the blonde’s eyes, her own wide-eyed with fear that she was doing something wrong, or worse, that Tara didn’t want to make love with her anymore.
“I love you”, Tara said, pouring every ounce of love and devotion that she had into the words.
“I love you too”, the redhead replied, still plainly frightened and confused.
“And I want to make love to you”, she further explained.
“I want to make love to you too”, Willow eagerly agreed.
“And I want to take it slow.” Tara finished.
“You mean you want to wait until later?” her girlfriend asked, seeking further explanation, disappointment evident on her face.
“No, Willow”, Tara replied, “I want to make love to you right now. But I want to make love to you slowly. I want to savor you, re-learn you, and love you. I want to prove to you once and for all that I am here and that I am here to stay. I understand your need for constant reassurance, but I wish that you could just accept…”
“I do accept!” Willow interrupted, “Baby, I do! So much. I… Am I doing something wrong?”
“No!” Tara blurted almost too loudly. “No, no, Sweetie. Never! You could never make love to me ‘wrong’. I just want us to feel that we can take our time. I want to take our time. I… let me show you.”
Tara brought their lips together in a slow and agonizingly wonderful kiss. A kiss that took Willow’s breath away and then gave it back to her. A kiss that communicated everything they ever had been, were now, and ever would be together. Their mouths still locked in that endless embrace; Tara gently pushed Willow back into the mattress of the bed, repositioning herself on top of her and finally moving her lips from Willow’s to begin a leisurely descent down her girlfriend’s body starting with the sensitive area behind her ear.
“Oh Goddess, Baby, yes”, Willow moaned as Tara nipped and suckled at her neck for what seemed like ages as the blonde introduced a slow and gentle rocking motion with her hips as she slipped one leg between Willow’s thighs. A dance they both knew well and that she now invited Willow to join her in.
Tara now moved away from her girlfriend’s neck, pausing only a moment to delight in the love-mark she had left there, before tracing her tongue along the redhead’s collarbone and down to the alert nipples of her lover’s pert breasts. Willow’s hands moved to tangle in the blonde’s long hair, gripping at her scalp and keeping her trapped against her breast. Tara smiled against her girlfriend’s soft flesh as she felt the pressure at the back of her head. She playfully bit at the nipple in front of her causing Willow to gasp in pleasure and surprise.
Willow pressed her center firmly down upon Tara’s thigh, raising her own knee up between the blonde’s legs, eliciting sighs and shudders of pleasure from both of their bodies. Tara continued her slow descent southward after she had finished giving her lover’s breasts fair and equal attention. She raked her nails lightly over Willow’s skin as she kissed and nipped at the flesh of her abdomen. Willow’s breathing became increasingly ragged in anticipation of what she knew was coming. Her breath hitched and her hips flexed up out of her control as she felt Tara’s hot breath caressing her center.
Tara smiled as Willow’s hips rose up toward her face. She tilted her head to the side and kissed the inside of Willow’s thighs, one and then the other, before turning her attention back to the prize in front of her. She moved in and tenderly kissed the swollen, wet lips of her soul mate’s sex, lightly tasting the sweet nectar there, before pulling back and whispering to Willow oh so softly, “I love you.”
Willow heard her girlfriend’s words and attempted to prop herself up on her elbows so that she could look into the blue eyes that seemed to gaze at her from so far away. “I love you too”, she smiled tenderly and again her breath caught in her throat as she watched Tara move back in to embrace her with her lips, teeth and tongue. The redhead’s arms gave out as the pleasure and ecstasy became to great for her to hold herself up any longer.
Tara found herself near tears, as she tasted Willow for the first time in so long. She had too had thought they had lost each other, but they had found each other again, just as they had always promised they would. Tara lapped and nipped at her lover’s sweet nectar much like a kitten delighted in and consumed a saucer of warm, sweet milk. Feeling that Willow was growing near, Tara slowed her pace slightly and, drawing one hand down, ever so carefully used two fingers to enter the redhead’s molten core.
“Tara”, Willow gasped at the welcome intrusion, her hips instinctively rolling to take more of the blonde inside, happily trapping her there.
The blonde stroked her fingers in and out the length of Willow’s insides, feeling for the familiar rough patch and beginning to rub it deliberately as she moved her fingers back and forth within her lover. Her lips and tongue settled their concentration on the bundle of nerves peaking out from its hiding spot to revel in the satisfying attentions. Above her Willow gasped and moaned, her moans becoming increasingly high pitched as she neared her climax. Suddenly the redhead’s back arched-up, her muscles locking, a silent cry of rapture escaping her open mouth as she peaked, her body shuddering of its own volition until she collapsed back onto the bed, sweaty, glowing and complete.
“I love you” became the mantra of that beautiful night. The night in which two souls, parted for so long, became one in body once more. Tara whispered, “I love you,” to Willow as she slid her body back up the bed and next to her lover.
Willow responded with equal truth and clarity. “I love you,” she murmured, exhausted, allowing herself to be cradled into Tara’s arms, looking up to place a tender kiss on soft lips. Tara snuggled closer, unwilling to even have a centimeter part them, and they slept. For the first time in three months, nightmares did not haunt them. Willow didn’t awake, covered in sweat as she relived the power flowing through her as she murdered Warren. Tara didn’t cry for her lover as she felt her pain, because tonight she suffered no agony of truths. Tonight, they were two normal women, with a normal love for one another. A trance of rest overtook them as they hovered above the bed, which held memories of happiness that they knew no others had ever experienced.
, but Tara's realization of Willows fears and how she dealt with them-absolutely beautiful 
Well done to you both!
double update 
. Buy a van I say. (CoW can pay for that, needed for Slaying of course)
. As for what Willow said, the thought are so fuzzy in her head, and Tara's - and mine, for that matter - that they won't really understand what's going on until they've talked properly. Willow's not going to hide anything, though. She's been there, and it's not helped. If she thinks of herself as a murderer, then she thinks that Tara should see her that way also. That's something that will be brought up, but right now she's lacking in self-confidence and there are some real issues, not least the whole Warren thing.
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Well, I'm not quite sure how to put this... I can never find the words... this is amazing. You manage to capture their feelings just right and by the end of the chapter I was smiling all over 
I'm glad they didn't just cry in grief, though, me like happy fics. And last but not least... Tara could NEVER be called Frankenstein!! Freakin' heck, that's the longest feedback reply I've ever written. Proud of me?!
. As for the pointers, I'm perfectly willing to give constructive criticism (did I spell that right?), but you do just great without it, sweetie.
. Besides, I wanted humour and Xander is always around to make fun of! *tee hee*... wow that was long. I wasn't even addressing half of your remarks then, Barnabasvamp, sorry! Consider that a kitten reply.