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Ok, so I am finally posting a chapter. I am well aware that months have passed and for that I apologize. My life has taken so many twists and turns in the past few months that it feels like something out of a dream. But, it’s not. I have been very blessed. My experiences have helped me to write this chapter. Thank you all for waiting so patiently. Urnieleh!!!!!!!!!: My darling Urnie. I think it is highly appropriate that you be the first person I reply to. A reply in response to your feedback? Your help? It’s pretty impossible to word it. Thank you so much for everything. Every word of advice. Every pick me up. Every act of encouragement. Everything you do for me, have done, will do. I thank you. A huge MWA for you, Moosie. Are you ready for your extremely large helping of seedcake? *smirks*
Stef: Thanks for the review! As if Tara would leave Willow! They have a love that goes far beyond that.
BV: Thank you so much for your words. It means a lot to know that my words had an affect on you. Thanks for reading!
Grimaldi: Thanks!!! And thanks for reading!
lilkkgirl4u: ooh, Thank you! I am glad to hear you love my fic! 
lil’ c: Thank you! Too short, huh? Ah well! Hopefully this one is longer
Lea!!: Thanks for reading!! I’m so glad you liked it!!! I agree. Standing up for love is the way to go, because, and at the risk of sounding cliché, love makes the world go round. Mine, anyway. Now that I have found it, I live it and breathe it. I am content. I hope everyone finds a love like that, and when they do, do everything within their power to keep it.
AWillowAndTaraFan4Ever: Thank you for your review! I am sorry the soon was a bit longer than sooner… but here it is now! I hope you enjoyed it!
Mich: Thank you! I am so glad to hear you enjoyed it! And again I emphasize that Tara would never leave Willow.
star: Thank you! I appreciate the review! I am so glad you enjoyed the chapter!
My darling Rozyleh!!!!!!: No words can explain how happy your review made me or how happy you continue to make me everyday. You really are my everything. Thank you so much for being there. Thank you for reading my fic, for standing up for me, helping me, loving me and letting me love you. Cause I really do, darling. Always and Beyond Forever.
Cindi!: Thank you for reading and reviewing my chapter!! Here is the new one! Enjoy!
Karen: Thank you so much for reading! I am so glad that you like my fic! I hope you like what you see in this chapter.
Grimmy: Thank you for the feedback. Yes, I think that Willow should tell her parents at this point. For Willow and Tara to truly be one and free to love each other they need the freedom and acceptance from their family and friends. It felt, to me, that, that was the point they need to reach, and now they are. Thanks for reading.
Holly: Thanks so much for the huge review! It’s been awhile and I hope that you are well and having fun! I am so glad that you love my fic! Be well and give my regards to your girl.
Nic: Thanks so much! I am so happy that you like my fic! Thank you for your review! Sorry about the long wait.
Jenny: Thanks!! I am so glad you like it!!
Vivlet: Thank you! I really appreciate the detailed feedback! Yes, so it is many months since Christmas but a merry Christmas to you too! Oh, and a Happy Hanukkah! (ohhh, and Happy Easter!) Thanks for reading!!!
Bec: and so we lost touch with each other. I apologize for that. I have been very busy with the twisting and turning of my own pathways. But hopefully we can continue emailing soon. Thank you for the review! I really appreciate it!
Bev: oooh…hmmm….well….you get a review now! So I guess I was somewhat compliant! Thanks so much for reading!!!
Scottchlet: Thank you so much! The details and heartfelt appreciation in your review means a lot to me! It was so wonderful to hear what you liked and found powerful in my fic. Thank you so much again! I hope you are well.
Cath: oooh… it’s been so long! I hope you are well! Thank you for the wonderful review! No beating of self! Self is wonderful . Thank you!!!!
Cindy: oooh… Thanks!!! I really appreciate the feedback! Better later then never! I
appreciate your reading it and telling me what you liked about it! Thank you
Mickie!: Thank you for reading and reviewing my fic. I really appreciate it. I hope you are doing well. Give my regards to Peg!
Ok, so I didn’t realize just how many people I have missed in my absence! Nothing like writing reviews to bring back memories. Thank you all so much! I hope to see you all around some more and catch up! My highest regards to you all!!!
And now….
Part 14
The silence in the Rosenberg’s household was deafening as the three inhabitants glanced from one person to the next; two sets of eyes, holding half inquisitive looks, the other, eyes wide with a nervous and apprehensive look.
“Well?” Sheila Rosenberg asked with an impatient voice, finally breaking the silence. “What do you want to tell us?”
Willow cringed, wringing her fingers, she bit her lip, and began pacing the room. ‘This is for Tara, Willow, you can do this, You can DO this. You love Tara. You want Tara. You need Tara. She is a part of you. You are a part of her.’ “Well…” Willow started, her voice cracking a little as she tried to avoid eye contact with both of her parents. “It’s like this….um…” Her words, sentences, and thoughts, flashing through her head, ‘God, how do I say this?’. “ love” She said, almost spontaneously. “it’s an awful lot like a sandwich”
Sheila and Ira looked up at their daughter. “A sandwich?” Ira asked, disbelief in his voice,
“How on earth is love like a sandwich!?” Sheila exclaimed, her face twisting into a grimace at the analogy.
“Oh, I’m getting to that” Willow rushed, beginning to feel even more nervous about the entire conversation.
Ira made a gesture with his hand, signaling for her to continue and Sheila rolled her eyes. “Please enlighten us Willow, how is love like a sandwich?”
Willow took a deep breath and continued, “Well, what makes a sandwich a sandwich? You need two pieces of bread to make it. Well, that or those little cruskety cracker thingies but I personally don’t like them cause when you put little bits of tomato and pickle on them they go all soggy and if you even try to….”
Willow stopped mid-sentence and looked sheepish, “oh…uh…right…anyway…what I was saying was that a sandwich is this thing, eaten worldwide by people of all sorts. The people in this world are the bread, two pieces of bread placed together and clicking, then comes the filling…”
Both of Willow’s parents were looking quite apprehensive at this point, wondering where there daughter was heading with this ramble.
“When making a sandwich there are no rules defining what must go into it, whatever is in it, be it salami and watermelon, or something stranger like tuna salad, it IS a sandwich and just as wonderful a creation as any other.”
Willow looked at her parents and breathed deeply.
“What I am trying to say is that, well, Mom, you and Dad? You are a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, creamy peanut butter and strawberry jam. But me? Well… Tara and I? We are like this crunchy peanut butter and banana sandwich. It might sound gross, but there is no better taste in this entire world”
Willow hung her head, waiting for disgusted sounds from her parents. When nothing came, she looked up slowly, her parents were staring at her, the looks almost resembling that of concern.
“Willow,” Ira said, sitting up straight, “there is this person, we have a number, that your mom and I think would be a wise idea for you to call.” He held out a business card to his daughter.
Willow looked confused but took the card. She looked at it and read the words ‘Daniel Harvy: Psychologist extraordinaire’. “umm…dad? Why am I calling this guy? She asked, with an extreme look of confusion.
“Willow!” Sheila cried exasperatedly, “You think you and your friend are a sandwich!” That is not normal behavior for a girl your age!
Willow looked shocked.
“For god sakes!” She cried, whipping around to face her mom, “what’s with you and normal anyway!? Why does everything have to be normal!? Where is the fun in that? Variety is the spice of life you know!”
She took a deep breath and looked from one parent to another.
“I do not have any problems, as a matter of fact, I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I am in love with the most amazing person to ever walk this planet. I have been so lucky to have that love returned. I am in love…” she said softly. “I love Tara.”
Willow placed the card in her father’s hand and walked to the door of the living room, “ if you’ll excuse me” she said, “I am going to go find the one person that makes my life worth living, much more than just existing. The one who taught me how it feels to be alive.”
Willow turned, and without another sound, opened the front door and walked out, leaving her parents to recover from the shock of her words.
***
The rain was pelting down . The street was beginning to fill with little puddles, promising much fun for children the next day. The sky was dark and stormy. Despite the weather, the night was quiet, almost disturbingly so. The redhead shivered, playing with that thought as she made her way down the streets at a steady pace. She could feel the burden as the weight of the water soaked her clothes but she didn’t care. ‘I have to find Tara’ she thought, “God baby, please be safe.”.
***
All the lights were out in the Maclay household. From the outside it looked like a perfectly normal home. Everyone snuggled safe in bed, sleeping soundly, comforted by the knowledge that they are loved, protected by the overwhelming feeling of safety. However, with every strike of lightening, the image of a crouching girl, huddled at the furthest point of the patio, shattered it. It was clearly visible, to even the most naïve of passerby’s, that Tara Mcclay was heartbroken. She sat, tears rolling down her face, making no noise at all, as the rain drenched the earth around her. ‘I can’t believe that I let her go. I had a taste of heaven.’ She thought bitterly ‘That is all I deserve’ she thought, rocking back and forth slowly on the balls of her feet.
A loud strike of thunder drew her from her thoughts and she glanced at her surroundings. Her previously neatly set out skirt was now a sopping mop of water. Suddenly, Tara was angry. “Why!?” she called out her question into the night as if she half expected a response. “ Why does this always happen!?”. She rose from her spot on the porch and made her way down the steps. Pacing the yard she practically screamed, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, ok!,” the tears were streaming down her face. These were different tears than before, tears of anger and despair. She came to a stop in front of a tree in her yard, “ I was bad. I was bad. I was bad and I know it!” she fumed, “haven’t I been punished enough!?” she yelled at the tree, “haven’t we both been punished enough!?” She began hitting the tree with her fist, the pain from the bark digging into her soft flesh was completely overthrown by that of her heart. She continued to punch the tree, yelling her apologies, needing forgiveness that the moss-covered tree could never provide.
And then gentle arms surrounded her waist. At first this had no affect, but the soothing voice and the caressing touch slowly worked their magic. Willow’s hands slipped slowly along the length of Tara’s arms until their hands met. Her flesh creating a barrier between the tender skin and the rippled bark, and suddenly it was just them, a sobbing blonde in the arms of a shaking redhead.
“I’m sorry Willow” she said through her tears, “I am so sorry”
The redhead held her lover tight. “Baby, don’t you ever be sorry for being brave enough to love. I am the one who is sorry. I failed to see what you saw right away. That you are my life. Without you, I don’t have any reason to live. You make me complete, Tare”
The blonde lifted her head off of Willow’s shoulder and looked at her closely. All of the sudden her eyes seemed filled with a peaceful calm. “Sweetie” she said, bringing her hand up to cup her love’s cheek. “I will never be sorry for loving you. Nor will I accept any apology from you. Darling, we are one in more ways than I ever thought possible. I feel as you feel, think as you think, and I love as you love. Sharing a brain with you is the best thing that I have ever done. You failed in nothing.” She leaned in and kissed her lover softly, “Willow” she said, barely above a whisper, “I love you so much”
Willow’s eyes shined with tears as Tara kissed her again. Both girls had become completely oblivious to the rain pouring down around them.
“In the end” Tara said, as she pulled away, resting her head against her lovers, “years from now. When it is just you and I. Sharing our lives. Living together. Being together. It will not be ‘I’ did this, and ‘you’ did that. It will be ‘us’, my love. ‘we’. You make me a stronger person, just as I make you a stronger person. We are one. Always and beyond forever. I would wait for you.”
Willow brought a finger up to Tara’s lips to silence her. The blonde kissed it gently, awaiting her girlfriend’s words.
“I told them, Tare”
Tara’s eyes widened. “Oh Willow.” She was filled with such emotion that words were nearly impossible. Joy, surprise, concern, wonder, and admiration, and most of all, there was pride. Her girlfriend. Her love. Her Willow. She had conquered the one thing that frightened her most. “Will, god Will, I love you so much.” Her heart was pounding in her chest. The intense need to touch, to be held by and to hold her, was overpowering.
The two girls clung to each other as the moon shone overhead. The clouds parted and the rain stopped, but they did not move from that place. Knowing how close they had come to losing each other, knowing how fragile relationships can be. The constant work involved and how there is nothing more worthwhile to invest in. They were determined.
“ I will always believe in us, Will. We can do anything. Get through anything. Survive anything. I love you and you love me, right?”
“Always and beyond forever, Tare, always and beyond forever.”
***
It was after eleven when the two girls awoke the next morning.
“Tare.” Willow whispered, looking down at her half sleeping girlfriend. Her heart swelled with love. “Have I told you lately that I love you?” .
“Maybe once or twice.” Tara said grinning as she sat up and kissed her love softly on the lips. “But I always love hearing it.”
Willow smiled.
“We should go Tare. There is stuff that we are supposed to do.” She said reluctantly, eyeing their now dry clothing, strewn over the back of a chair.
“We are supposed to do what?” Tara asked in a surprised tone, flashing her girlfriend a questioning look.
“Remember our shopping date?” Willow asked, upon seeing the blank look on her girlfriends face, continued, “we planned to go shopping with Buffy and tell her then. I never had a chance to cancel.”
A look of recognition flashed in the blondes eyes. “Oh yes, I remember now. Ok” she said, helping her lover to her feet. “Let’s get dressed and meet Buffy.”
***
The moment the doorbell rang in the Summer’s household, feet went running across the floorboards. “Bye mom!” Buffy yelled, pulling open the door to find herself face to face with her friends. “Where were you two!?” she exclaimed, “I must have tried your house fifty times Will!”
“Around.” Tara said almost shyly.
Willow nodded, gulping, wondering how her parents were taking the news.
Tara looked sideways at her girlfriend, trying to gauge her emotions. She reached over and gave her hand a squeeze of reassurance.
Willow smiled and the three of them set off for the mall.
***
The day was going well, except for Willow not being able to get a word into conversations. Buffy’s ramble was in rare form, she babbled as the three girls trekked all over the mall.
“ohhhh!” Buffy exclaimed, seeing a sign for garden tools, fifty percent off. “I need a new shovel!” she cried, dragging Willow and Tara into the store behind her.
Willow was frustrated with herself. Finally realizing that suggesting a shopping outing was not the best idea, she couldn’t stop thinking about her parents and being frightened of Buffy’s reaction.
“Will! Over here!” Buffy called, breaking her from her thoughts. “Tara! Come see!”
Buffy was holding what appeared to be guidebooks of sorts. “Look at these!” she said, handing a book to each Willow and Tara.
The girls looked down at their books and blanched.
‘Maximizing pleasure from your garden.’ Tara read out.
‘How to find excitement in gardens.’ Willow read.
The two girls eyed each other and then looked at Buffy, who seemed entirely oblivious to the double meanings behind the titles.
The slayer looked at both the girls and saw that they had gone pale. “Guys?” She eyed them with a worried expression. “You ok?”
Willow nodded slowly, “Buffy? Would you mind if we went home now?”
***
The entire ride home Willow tried to find a way to start the conversation. The air in the car was thick because everyone knew that words needed to be said and nobody was saying them. As they stopped at Buffy’s driveway, Tara squeezed Willow’s hand and climbed out, leaving the slayer and her best friend alone together.
Willow looked over at Buffy and bit her lip. “Buff?” She asked softly. “We have been best friends for awhile now, right?”
Buffy nodded her agreement but remained silent.
“There is something I need to tell you Buffy.” The redhead said. “And don’t worry, I won’t mention sandwiches.”.
Buffy raised a brow at this comment but continued to listen.
“Buffy, Tara is my girlfriend.”
For a moment, there was no sound in the car, then Buffy answered in a small voice, “When did this happen Will?”
The redhead proceeded to tell her the entire story, from her depression and Tara’s saving her from herself, to their discovery of the overwhelming love they shared for each other. Through the entire story Buffy remained quiet.
Willow looked at her, worried. “Are you weirded?”
Buffy looked at Willow and looked thoughtful. “Not at all Will.” She said, “You love her? In a heart ‘craving aching pounding’ way?”
“Even more, Buffy, even more”
Buffy smiled. “I’m happy for you Will. I think Tara is a great girl. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you Willow. When you needed me most.”
“Oh Buffy, you tried. You and Xander both did.”
“Not hard enough Will. I should have tried harder. I love you, you know.”
Willow smiled at her best friend and the two hugged.
The slayer looked at the redhead, thankful for everything working out how it had, knowing there were rough times ahead for her friend, but also knowing that now she could be there for her. Help her through them. “You can always talk to me, Will. You know that?”
Willow nodded. “I do”
A silence filled the car for a moment as neither girl was sure what to say. Their heads, full of thoughts and full of hopes.
Finally Buffy got out and reached her hand to her friend. “Coming with me?”
Willow climbed out of the car and headed into the house, behind her best friend.
“We have much truth or dare to play Missy” Buffy said with a smirk as she held the door open for Willow to walk through it.
the redhead laughed and Buffy followed her in, closing the door, the two shared another smile and entered the living room where Tara was waiting.
This chapter was dedicated to my best friends in the entire world! I love you guys!!!
“‘Cause regret tastes like shit.”- How do I compare thee by Urn of Osiris
~*@.......We are the weirdest person in the world.......@*~
Edited by: Tara22  at: 6/23/03 7:03 pm
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I totally understand that 
at Sheila for her behavior! It is terrible, but, sadly, it exists. Willow is going through a hard time right now, but, thankfully, Tara is there for her through it all. Sorry I took so long to update!
and yes… of course I will fix the angst 
THANK YOU!!!! 
… the deal you gals make over this fic… you’d think it was ‘Never a night like this’ (<- OOOOH, see that!? Good fic!? Read! *points it out to kitties who haven’t read it yet* lol… I feel like an advertising campaign) THANKS SO MUCH THOUGH! I appreciate that everyone has been so patient it the wait for the updates… 
… no way… 
) and Cind (she's like my yoda man!
at: 12/20/02 6:00:18 pm
!!!!
)...forgive me? 
and yay for willow telling her parents!!! You rock T!
Yeah..ok, if it worked *giggles* But seriously, sorry if I did. I could say the same Miss Chel… 
… I’m ok, really. Can I bonk Shelia again? Can I can I? *bats her eyelashes* 
at: 12/20/02 4:12:54 pm
-Viv-
You just had to mention a cow, didn't ya? GO YOU! 
Peg says Hey too... we're doing good.