by DaddyCatALSO » Thu Jun 07, 2007 7:27 am
Also requesting some beta-type help. I've typed up "old MArrieds," the last of my "Intimacy Tales," this one a slice-of-life thing showing them as working mothers 2013 Sunnydale. No real plot, just two chapters internal monolgoues following by an "explicit scene."
I feel storngly about getting beta-views on these stories precisely because I (for obvious reasons) worry about the beleiveability level of the sexual parts. In this aprticualr case, I'm also ocncerned abotu whether the two monlogues should be less detailed, or on the other hand if I'm skipping too much background. I also don't know whether it'd be more effective with Tara's monologue first or Willow's, since they end simultaneously when Willow gets home.
Any volunteers would be appreciated.
Snapshots:
http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
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Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.