10. You're throw off the bus for endlessly explaining to your fellow passengers that it's pronounced Tear-a not Tahra.
9. The WB's censor get a restraining order against you after 3000th late night call demanding Willow/Tara kiss-age.
8. Your dog gets beat up by other dogs in the neighborhood after you rename him, Miss Kitty Fantastico.
7. Have personalized liceance plate "WILTARA," don't have a car.
6. There is no number six.
5. Your top ten list have no number six.
4. You wear a tiara 24/7 just because it sounds a little like Tara.
3. You bring home dozens of Willow sapling from the local greenhouse. Unfortunately you live in a fifth floor apartment.
2. You try to enroll in sophomore level psychology at your local university only to be told "You're not a student here."

... and the number one sign you're obsessed with Willow and Tara is...

1. You're graduating from college and get a job offer in another city but before you accept, you check to make sure Buffy is shown there.

Lord Bowler

"We're always taught dragons don't exist. Its the only way we can discover them for ourselves." - Bone #25

==========================================================================

xita
Ms. Moderator
Fantastico
Posts: 3334
Registered: Sep 2000
posted November 12, 2000 17:19

I love your lists!

11. You have a commitment to insert w/t lines into everyday conversation, and chuckle over it when no one else does.

12. You have set up wires and harnesses to help you re-enact the floating dance scene.
On a side note, I swear I have seen 4 cars this week, whose license plates start with 4MKF then some other numbers. Why can't mine start like that?

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 147
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 12, 2000 18:18

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok ok. i'm willtara challenged. what up on the missing #6?!?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your not challenged at all. The no number six bit has nothing to do with W/T. It goes back a few years to when I was a huge Xena fan (about 2nd seasonish) and did about 50 top ten list on Xena subjects, all lacking a number 6.

There is an old Monty Python skit where a group of Australian Philosphy Professors welcome a new faculity member and run down the rules for him, when they get to rule number six they announce their is no number six then read rule number seven.

When I did my first list I included "There is no number six." as a wink to any other Python fans. When I did my second list "Top Ten Signs the Xena Fan you're Dealing with is None Too Bright." I decided that one of the signs would be his top ten list had no number six.

And after that it just sort of became a tradition. O.K. Actually its just a cheap trick so I only have to come up with 9 items for my top tem lists.

Aren't you glad you asked.

=============================================================

Prairiegirl
Doll's eye crystal
Posts: 69
Registered: Nov 2000
posted November 13, 2000 20:53

14. You spend your weekends combing thrift stores to find outfits that clash just right.

15. You spend your weekends combing thrift stores so your significant other can also clash and clash with you.

16. You have painted your bedroom black and strung twinkle lights.

17. You are researching the pros and cons of amphibian eyes vs newt eyes.

18. You always hold your hands in front of you, thumb clasp in the other hand when talking to people.

19. You don't mind meetings anymore because it gives you time to daydream about what happened after Mr. Maclay left the room. And what Willow got Tara for her birthday.

20. You wore the magnetic stuff off the video tape of this week's episode.

=============================================================

xita
Ms. Moderator
Fantastico
Posts: 3334
Registered: Sep 2000
posted November 13, 2000 22:51

21. When you are not holding your hands in front of you, thumb clasp in the other hand when talking to people, you have your arms crossed right under your breasts.

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april
Gay Now!
Posts: 1452
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 14, 2000 11:59

22. you tune in to "will and grace" just to hear jack gush about how much he likes willow

23. someone tells you they're wiccan, and your first impulse is to ask "do you watch buffy?"

24. you seriously consider going to wiccan group meetings to look for dates

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Banshee
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 141
Registered: Nov 2000
posted November 14, 2000 15:30

25. You call every cute girl "Miss Kittie Fantastico" just to make them blush.

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LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 147
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 13, 2000 11:43

Top Ten Euphemisms Willow and Tara Use for Sex

We all know that, with Willow and Tara, talk about doing spells is often a veiled reference to sex. But after rewatching all the old W/T stuff I've noticed that there are other words and phrase Willow and Tara use for sex. So...
From the Adult Bookstore next door to the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High Scool comes...

The Top Ten Euphemisms Willow and Tara use for Sex.

10. Snuggling.
9. Studying for comparative anatomy.
8. Naughty Stuff.
7. The Undiscovered Country. Sorry, that's one of of the Top Ten Euphemisms I use for sex.
6. There is no number six.
5. T-t-t-touch me.
4. Playing with the pussy... Er Miss Kitty Fantastico that is.
3. Stress testing the wicker.
2. Yahtzee!

...and the number one euphemism Willow and Tara use for sex is...

1. Hot Girl on Girl Action.

Lord Bowler
"Teach him how you will, a pig will never play a flute."

=============================================================

drlloyd11
Willowhand
Posts: 335
Registered: Sep 2000
posted November 13, 2000 12:54

I can't beleave you left out
- "doing spells and stuff"
- "Finding Buffy's true essence"
and my Favorite
- "full contact subtext"

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hopey
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 199
Registered: Nov 2000
posted November 13, 2000 17:17

You forgot about "Do what makes you h-h-h-h-h-happy".

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xita
Ms. Moderator
Fantastico
Posts: 3377
Registered: Sep 2000
posted November 13, 2000 22:47

my favorite is doing "something" from TIIT.

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Corporeal Dennis
Doll's eye crystal
Posts: 116
Registered: Nov 2000
posted November 14, 2000 09:08

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Prairiegirl:
Can we add all the euphimisms that Xander uses when thinking about Willow and Tara having sex?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hokay. Hope Lord Bowler doesn't mind if I give this one a stab... Lord knows I don't want Brisco County Jr. after my ass...

From the National Guard Armory down the road a bit from the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of SHS...

The top ten Xander Euphemisms for Willow and Tara having sex.

10. "Re-enacting my fantasy life."
9. "Making the beast with two backs (What? I can't pull out the occasional literary reference?)."
8. "Bawdy French farce."
7. "Polishing their crystal balls."
6. Even though I'm not the person who usually writes these, there is NO... number six.
5. "Making Anya hit me for thinking about is topic way too much."
4. "Doing... y'know... each other."
3. "Invalidating every theory Sheila's ever had about Willow."
2. "Researching some spells."

... and the number one Xander euphemism for Willow and Tara having sex?

1. "Getting into nudity mode."

Thank you, and drive carefully.
--Corporeal Dennis

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tyche
Willowhand
Posts: 309
Registered: Sep 2000
posted November 14, 2000 15:02

pI think I'm the first to mention:
"Snuffing out the candle" (from 'New Moon Rising')

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Warduke
Big Pineapple
Posts: 841
Registered: Nov 2000
posted November 14, 2000 15:44

From Who Are You...Willow tells Buffy that Tara's not feeling well, so she's gonna take her home, so Faith (in Buffy's body) tells her to "give her whatever she needs"

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april
Gay Now!
Posts: 1464
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 14, 2000 19:23

two words: willow hand

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LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 147
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 14, 2000 10:51

Top Ten Rejected Pets for Willow and Tara
We all know Willow and Tara have a wonderful pet in Miss Kitty Fantastico, but what many of you may not know is that many other pet ideas were toyed with before they settled on Miss Kitty. And so...
From the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Rejected Pets For Willow and Tara.

10. Pete the Wonder Llama.
9. A six foot tall invisible rabbit named Harvey.
8. Ch-Ch-Chia Pet.
7. Al Gore. Sorry, it seems a box of Florida ballots was accidently sent to the Home Office.
6. There is no number six. There is no eggroll.
5. Baggy the Anorexic Elephant.
4. Flipper the Dolphin.
3. Julie K Smith. Sorry, she was the February '93 Penthouse Pet of the month. I'm really going to have to have a talk with the Home Office about all these mix ups.
2. Miss Aardvark Fantastico.
...and the number one rejected pet for Willow and Tara is...

1. Timmy the Dancing Tape Worm.

Lord Bowler
"No matter where you go, there you are."

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LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 147
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 16, 2000 11:37

Top Ten Signs Willow and Tara Had Sex Last Night.

From the Adult Bookstore next door to the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Signs Willow and Tara Had Sex Last Night.

10. They keep going on about that spell they did last night.
9. Miss Kitty is still trying to get the whipped cream out of her fur.
8. All the dents where they accidentally levitated into the ceiling.
7. Their next door neighbor gives them a bill for the earplugs he had to buy to get to sleep.
6. There is a number six, but since it involves a riding crop and a box of Jello Pudding Pops, I don't think I should post it where impressionable young minds might read it.
5. They're trying to find a spell to repair broken bed springs.
4. Still basking in the afterglow they accidently put on horribly mismatched and tasteless outfits.
3. They are looking for Spike to return some shackles they borrowed.
2. Tara's crystals are in need of a good cleaning.
...and the number one sign Willow and Tara had sex last night...

1. It's a day ending in 'y.'

Lord Bowler
"Last night everything in my apartment was stolen and replaced with an exact replica."

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 147
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 17, 2000 10:11

Top Ten Presents Willow Gave Tara for Her Birthday.

From the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School.

The Top Ten Presents Willow Gave Tara for Her Birthday.

10. A copy of the book "The Joy of Spells."
9. A canned ham.
8. A new blouse that goes with absolutely nothing.
7. Gag Gift: Chippendales Calender
6. There is a number six, but its a private present, so they cast a spell on me to keep me from releaving it. But I can say Hubba Hubba.
5. Extra large crystal.
4. Ball of string. Whoops, that one was for Miss Kitty.
3. Coupon good for one free night of "Willow-Lovin."
2. Dart board with WB censor's picture on it.
...and the number one present Willow gave Tara for her birthday...

1. Gravy Boat.

Lord Bowler
"All right. We'll call it a draw."

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 147
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 20, 2000 22:43

Top Ten Secrets About Tara

Well we learned a lot about Tara but not all so...
From the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School.

The Top Ten Secrets About Tara

10. World's only three time kidney donor.
9. Favorite movie? Bio-Dome.
8. In High School was voted "Most Likely to Become Professional Minature Golfer."
7. Sometimes late at night when Willow's asleep she like to try on tasteful outfits.
6. There is no number six.
5. Giggles uncontrollibly whenever someone uses the phrase 'penal system.'
4. Secretly replaced Miss Kitty after tragic yodeling accident. Didn't tell Willow.
3. Had to retake UCS's surprisingly hard Underwater Basket Weaving course.
2. Can re-build the carburator of a 1938 Buick Roadmaster blindfolded.

...and the number one secret about Tara is...

1. Her un-nervingly large collection of Slim Wittman Albums.
Lord Bowler

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EvilAnya
Doll's eye crystal
Posts: 125
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 22, 2000 13:36

can you imagine what willow would say if she caught tara trying on tasteful outfits!

Willow: um, tara, what are you doing?
Tara: nothing...really, nothing.
Willow: Tara...do you realize that your sweater doesn't have any tassels or pom poms on it? it doesn't even have weird stripes!
Tara: ummm, i know...but i was going to put on a weird tasteless hat, i swear.
Willow: for the love of god tara, i should hope so!

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LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 135
Registered: Oct 2000
posted November 24, 2000 22:54

Top Ten Signs the Person You're Dealing with is a WB Censor.

From the Home Office in the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High School.

The Top Ten Signs the Person You're Dealing with is a WB Censor.

10. Shoes are labeled left and right.
9. Feet are labeled left and right.
8. He's a massive homophobe who can't figure out why every time he goes out drinking he wakes up in bed with another man.
7. In spare time he's the Florida Commissoner of Elections.
6. There was a number six but since it involved two girls kissing it had to be removed.
5. Makes Principal Snyder look like a fair-minded, good-hearted, rational and level-headed person.
4. Once spent night in jail when he mistook a 'wet paint' sign for an instruction.
3. Keeps mumbling something about how life is like a box of chocolates.
2. Complains all the time about how his office was much warmer before they took away his straightjacket. (no pun intended, or achieved)

... and the number one sign the person you're dealing with is a WB Censor is...

1. Even his dog thinks he's a complete weenie.

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 135
Registered: Oct 2000
posted December 06, 2000 14:39

Top Ten Reasons Tara is Missing from an Episode

As we all know Tara hasn't been in ever episode this season, curiously however these absences are never explained on the show. So in the future you'll know why Tara is missing ...
From the Home Office in the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High School.

The Top Ten Reasons Tara is Missing from an Episode.

10. After a closet organization disaster spent entire day trapped under massize pile of tacky sweaters.
9. Took Miss Kitty to a Cat Show in Battle Creek Michigan
8. Sleeping in. She was online all night obsessing about the new lesbian couple on her favorite show "Mindy the Mummy Fighter."
7. Studying for her Hen Teasing 201 mid-term.
6. Number Six isn't in this list, no explaination is available.
5. Still owes 42 hours of community service after the watermelon incident.
4. Off hunting down WB censor.
3. Part-time job as a human cannonball really eats into her spare time.
2. Never promise to help Spike repaint his crypt. It takes all day and he doesn't even buy the beer.

...and the number one reason Tara is missing from an episode...

1. She was a naughty little witch last night so Mistress Willow left her tied up.

=============================================================

Dr.G
Gay Now!
Posts: 1452
Registered: Jan 2001
posted December 06, 2000 14:54

My Lord, you know you should put up a warning not to eat and read this at the same time. I nearly had to Heimlich myself.

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xita
Ms. Moderator
Fantastico
Posts: 3334
Registered: Sep 2000
posted December 07, 2000 00:19

For a second, I read Mindy the Muffy Diver. My mind does funny things sometimes.

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april
Gay Now!
Posts: 1452
Registered: Oct 2000
posted December 07, 2000 17:15

lol xita, i actually read something similar. but a strange moment of restraint came over me, and i decided to keep it to myself...
never again, i tell you! never again!

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LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 147
Registered: Oct 2000
posted December 07, 2000 17:40

Xita,
The really odd thing is that early on it was Muffy the Mummy Fighter, but I thought that was just too close to Buffy and changed it. And before that it was Wendy the Werewolf Stalker.

===============================================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 135
Registered: Oct 2000
posted December 21, 2000 18:17

Top Ten Things Overheard at the Scoobie's Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice/etc Party
From the Home Office in the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High School.

The Top Ten Things Overheard at the Scoobie's Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice/etc Party.

10. "This sweater doesn't go with a single thing I own - Thank You!"
9. "I've witnessed over 1000 Christmases and I still can't figure out the religious significance of fruitcake."
8. "Snoopy Dance! Snoopy Dance!"
7. "So Tara, would you like your present from Tiny Jewish Santa right now or in your stocking tonight?"
6. There is no number six.
5. "I'm quite certain the word dismemberment doesn't appear in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."
4. "Xander, you may want to go over the concept of finger sandwiches with Anya again."
3. "Spike, if I catch you trying to add blood to the punch one more time, chestnuts aren't going to be the only things roasting on an open fire."
2. "An 'Im not a lesbian but my girlfriend is.' T-shirt. This has to be from Xander."

...and the number one thing overheard at the Scoobie's Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice/etc Party was...

1. "Where's Willow? ...and Tara? ...and the Mistletoe?"

Ah what the heck its's Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice/etc here's a number 6.
6. "Well of course dinner is ruined. I'm actually more interested in how Miss Kitty got that 20 lbs turkey on top of the bookcase to begin with."

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LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 135
Registered: Oct 2000
posted February 15, 2001 07:22

The Top Ten Signs Willow and Tara Have Been Using Your Computer.

From the Home Office in the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Signs Willow and Tara Have Been Using Your Computer.

10. There's a nasty e-mail in your inbox from HellBitch@AOL.com. Something about a teleportation spell and a dry cleaning bill.
9. There are now hundreds of new bookmarks to sites on lesbians, cats, witchcraft and hacking... Not that you notice them amongst the hundreds already there on lesbians, cats, witchcraft and hacking.
8. The WB censor comes by and deletes the word 'kiss' from your spell checker's dictionary.
7. On eBay, you're the winning bidder in a auction of 73 tacky sweaters.
6. There is no number six.
5. You need to buy a new mouse after skilled mouser Ms Kitty Fantastico is finished with your's.
4. Your wallpaper is now a large image of Tara bending over... Sorry, that's one of the top ten signs Xita has been using your computer.
3. Pressing the Reset button now opens a door to the magical land of Narnia. ...I have no idea what that means either. I think the guys at the Home Office have been hitting the cough syrup again.
2. Thanks to Willow rewriting the OS the damn thing actually works now.

...and the number sign Willow and Tara have been using your computer...

1. When you play your "I Can't Take My Eyes Off You" MP3, your monitor now levitates.

Lord Bowler
"I object to all this sex on TV... I keep falling off."

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LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 135
Registered: Oct 2000
posted February 14, 2001 09:55

Top Ten Pet Names Willow and Tara have for each other

From the Home Office in the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Pet Names Willow and Tara have for each other.

10. "Honey"
9. "Spank-O-Tron 3000"
8. "Fred"
7. "Love Monkey"
6. There is no number six.
5. "Rocky the Flying Squirrel"
4. "Snappy Dresser"
3. "Vixen"
2. "Ms. Girlfriend Fantastico"

...and the number one pet name Willow and Tara have for each other is...

1. "Mistress of Pain"

Lord Bowler

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 135
Registered: Oct 2000
posted March 10, 2001 20:20

The Top Ten Willow/Tara Pet Peeves

From the Home Office in the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Willow/Tara Pet Peeves.

10. Laundry day when they can't find a single outfit that doesn't match.
9. Bad spleling on the intrenet.
8. Since the kiss, its just not as much fun sticking pins in my "WB Censor Voodoo Doll" anymore. Sorry that's one of the top ten Lord Bowler pet peeves.
7. Rude warlocks who are always trying to sneak 20 charms thru the 14 charms or less line at the magic shop.
6. There is no number six.
5. There are never any number sixes in Lord Bowler's Top Tens.
4. Just when they're about to cast their nightly spell to make sure Faith hasn't stolen Buffy's body again, some idiot sets off a fake fire alarm.
3. Its been months now, where the hell is that toaster oven.
2. No matter how much you wash, vampire dust never comes completely out of a tacky sweater.

...and the number one Willow/Tara pet peeve is...

1. Stubble.

Lord Bowler

=============================================================

april
Gay Now!

Posts: 1191
Registered: Oct 2000
posted March 10, 2001 22:52

hee hee hee...lord bowler, i always love your lists. #4 is my favorite as well... if i were willow and tara, i'd be looking for an excuse to do that flaming o spell as often as possible. because yes, you can never tell when buffy will be in danger...
okay now, the toaster oven. it's one of those Big Gay Jokes that i think originated in the ellen coming out episode. correct me if i'm wrong. anyway, it's this joke whereby people who "recruit" someone to be gay win a free toaster. a whole bunch of w/t shipper at the bronze sent joss an engraved toaster after NMR. it was great.
anyone who wants to elaborate on this can feel free...

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 136
Registered: Oct 2000
posted April 09, 2001 19:05

The Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear Willow and Tara Say

From the Home Office in the Burnt-out ramains of Sunnydale High School..

The Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear Willow and Tara Say.

10. "I think we should trade in Miss Kitty for a nice iguana."
9. "Does this sweater go with this skirt?"
8. "...genuine molded plastic stamped on her ass" Oh wait... never mind.
7. "Please tell me more about your time as a demon Anya."
6. "There is no number six."
5. "I'm off to work now."
4. "Do what you want to her, but leave me alone."
3. "Thank God. I'm over that whole 'Gay' phase."
2. "Just what are the commercial possibilities of flying sheep?"

...and the number one thing you'll never hear Willow and Tara say is...

1. "I think we kiss way too much."
Lord Bowler

===============================================================================

april
Gay Now!
Posts: 1275
Registered: Oct 2000
posted April 09, 2001 23:22

hee hee hee hee...

i love #9, 7 and 4. rofl.
a few more things i doubt we'll hear from them:
- willowhand? what's that?
- spy on us when we were....no, xander would never do something like that!
- remind me again how we figured out that faith and buffy switched bodies?
- man, i wish your family would come and visit more often.

okay, so they're not as good as lord bowler's. but he's a professional.

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 137
Registered: Oct 2000
posted April 16, 2001 19:27

The Top Ten Items on Tara's 2000 Tax Returns.

From the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Items on Tara's 2000 Tax Returns.

10. Filing a joint return with Spike... I'm sorry that should be "Filing a joint return with Willow." Giles is the one filing a joint return with Spike.
9. Claimed purchase of large crystal as "medical expense."
8. In stead of H&R Block tax returns prepares by HR Puffnstuff.
7. Lists ocupation as 'Hen Teaser.'
6. Number six was disallowed by the IRS.
5. Got $5,000 refund by taking little known Tacky Sweater Allowance.
4. Large Charitable contribution to the Society to Save the Number Six.
3. Lost $300 investing at AnyaTrade.com.
2. Picked up extra income making balloon animals at childrens parties.

...and the number one item on Tara's 2000 tax returns is...

1. Claims Miss Kitty as a dependant.
LordBowler

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 137
Registered: Oct 2000
posted April 29, 2001 01:13

Top Ten Crazy Things Tara did after her mother died...

From the Home Office in the burnt out remains of Sunnydale High School.

Top Ten Crazy Things Tara did after her mother died...

10. Lied to folks.
9. Went in swimming 59 minutes after eating.
8. Stayed out all night.
7. Cast a spell removing number six from top ten lists.
6. There is no number six.
5. Wore tasteful sweaters.
4. Ate her bannanna and it wasn't even lunch time... oh wait that was Willow in Dopplegangland.
3. Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
2. Ripped the tags off her matresses.

... and the number one crazy thing Tara did after her mother died is...

1. Tried the McRibs.

=============================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 137
Registered: Oct 2000
posted May 04, 2001 00:25

The Top Ten Ways Willow and Tara Would Be Different on an Animated Series.

Well its been a tough week and I thought we could all use a good laugh. (But I did a top ten anyway)
As many have heard there is a new animated Buffy series coming next year. Its set during High School so there's no Tara. But what if there were...
From the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Ways Willow and Tara Would Be Different on an Animated Series.

10. Willow and Tara are now short, blue and use the word 'smurf' a frightening number of times per sentence.
9. Willow masters levitation by simply not looking down.
8. Leather Corsets and riding crops... sorry that one of the top ten ways Willow and Tara are different in this recurring dream I've been having.
7. Willow and Tara start dressing normal since tacky sweaters are just to #%!@ing hard to draw.
6. There was a number six, but its busy sponsoring today's episode of Sesame Street.
5. Brain-sucked by Glory? No Problem. Fortunately Tara has her brain cells numbered for just such an occasion.
4. Willow and Tara no longer do witchcraft but help Buffy battle her enemies by dressing in implausible costumes and leading them off cliffs.
3. Amy betrays Willow and Tara and joins forces with a pair of lab mice out to rule the world.
2. Miss Kitty spends most episodes trying to capture a small yellow bird.

...and the number one way Willow and Tara would be different on an animated series is...

1. Tara's new nickname? Sailor Full Moon.
Lord Bowler

==========================================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 137
Registered: Oct 2000
posted May 07, 2001 19:18

The Top Ten Ways Willow can establish her Lesbo Street Cred.

From the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Ways Willow can establish her Lesbo Street Cred.

10. Cancel subscription to Beefcake Monthly.
9. Keep practicing until she finally gets the secret handshake right.
8. Change major. Start preparing for exciting career as high school gym teacher.
7. Leather corsets and riding crops... sorry that's that recurring dream again.
6. There is no number six.
5. Get season tickets to WNBA.
4. Stop wearing tacky sweater, start wearing flannel shirts... and get a pickup while she's at it.
3. Fill in last two slots on her, buy 50 sex toys get 51st sex toy free, frequent buyer card.
2. Construct giant origami badger.

...and the number one way Willow can establish her Lesbo Street Cred is...

1. Retake Lesbo entrance exam. This time ace the oral section.
Lord Bowler
"If people climb Mount Everest because it's hard. Why do they go up the easy side?" - George Carlin

==========================================================================

LordBowler
Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 137
Registered: Oct 2000
posted May 11, 2001 21:13
The Top Ten Way Willow and Tara will be different on UPN

From the Home Office in the burnt-out remains of Sunnydale High School...

The Top Ten Way Willow and Tara will be different on UPN

10. Every night Tara vows to "lay the smackdown on Willow's candy ass." OK not actually a change.
9. UPN will allow Willow and Tara to kiss as long as it is integral to the plot. They also suggest it would be most integral to the plot if they were bouncing on a trampoline in slow motion while kissing.
8. New Spin-off: When Miss Kitty Fantasticos Attack.
7. Whipped Cream and Jumper Cables... On UPN I have a different recurring dream.
6. Out: Tacky Sweaters. In: High-heeled form-fitting cat suits.
5. On UPN. There will be no number five.
4. Willow is finally free of her 'frog fear.'
3. Willow and Tara give up magic finding its much easier to achieve the same effect by spouting meaningless Techno-babble.
2. After a year long fued with the Dudley Boyz, Willow and Tara win the Tag Team Titles in the season finale.

...and the number one way Willow and Tara will be different on UPN is...

1. To appeal to regular UPN viewers Tara is recast with Pam Anderson in the role. On the plus side Willow now has somewhere to stand when it rains.