It's Flirting Techniques Thursday MKF! 6/20

[tommo]

Yes, hopefully flirting will go the same way as VHS players. Sigh. Flirting is obselete. Shame really, because it's when it gets to doing proper stuff that I'm a big bag o' shite.

[Magrat70]

Relative girl as a health and safety officer I have officially banned you from Birminghan as you caused me to laugh, breath wine up my nose and splutter all over my keyboard.

[hilarita]

relativegirl, i havent laughed that hard in a long time.

[momentum]

I'm not much of a flirter. If I like someone, I'll usually make them a mixtape and hope that they'll be smart enough to pick up on the message I'm trying to give. Or the old note that says "Hi, I think you're cute. Want to hang out? Check yes or no." Like in third grade. Heh.

Since I've recently taken up smoking, I found that can be a nice little flirting tool or whatever. Like "Hey, can I borrow a light?" and then casually touch fingers, smile shyly, and strike up a little conversation.

Luckily, some people find my shyness/geekiness charming. Yay.

[relativegirl]

[b:85a046a433] Magrat[/b:85a046a433]: Oh good grief what have I done. I think I've over-shared, b/c now I'm banned on two continents. Not that my pathetic forays into romance wouldn't have led to that sooner or later anyways.

But I had hoped that one day before I die I could take my dream vacation to the British Isles and now Birmingham is a no-go. Of course it's only fitting as the whole reason my family ended up on this side of the Atlantic was b/c we were banished from Wales for horse stealing and crimes of moral turpitude. So actually, nothing has really changed and my status as a the Pariah of All Things Romantic was genetically predetermined. [i:85a046a433] sigh[/i:85a046a433]

[Magrat70]

Okay I suppose if your nice I'll let you into Brum but to be honest my home city of Aberdeen much nicer

[Tiggrscorpio]

Oh God, I have one of those really embarrassing stories, like relativegirl. I was trying to flirt with my on-again, off-again girlfriend. I was on the dance floor, which I only do when I'm completely intoxicated and shouldn't do at all, because I have really bad knees.

My knee took that moment to pop out of place and I started heading for the floor. I tried to turn it into a wicked cool dance move, but only ended up drawing more attention to myself as I ended up flat on my ass.

I went home with my girl, but only because she practically had to carry me. I don't recommend this technique.

[Kieli]

This is a rather interesting thread...mostly because I've been called the Queen of Flirt in some other chat places on the Internet but I have no idea how the hell that moniker came to be! I usually just try talking or joking around. Usually the joking around is somehow misconstrued as flirting which is beyond me how [i:8a3185106a] that[/i:8a3185106a] mistake could be made. *mighty frown*

I think it's the spectacles. I've been wearing eyeglasses since the third grade for some reason people seem to like them. *shrug* Usually I am just too damned tongue tied to say anything of merit to the object of my affection. Or I just start babbling incoherently. Diana loves me anyway in spite of my totally inept way of flirting with her (which was actually rather subtle and non-overt when we first started dating, come to think of it).

And RG you have just made my day with the funniest story EVER! No worries, kid. I'm sure we've all had some really strange flirting stories to tell. I, for one, could make people cringe at some embarrassing flirting sitches I've been in. Pfft! Nothing to it.

Toni

[NoveltyAct]

relativegirl...

...crimes of moral turpitude...

...trying to turn me on?

[relativegirl]

Ok Kieli & Tiggrscorpio, you two are just being unfair here. Tiggrscorpio goes home with the girl but fails to share any details of how she pulled that off despite her embarrasing ass-dance. And Toni, jeez louise! You announce you've been dubbed the queen of flirt and then proceed to tell us that you possess a flirting technique that allowed you to take home Diana, the goddess of love? And you fail to share [i:b99b98a197] anything[/i:b99b98a197], not one iota, of what was entailed in this "rather subtle and non-overt" flirting that ultimately landed Diana!

Did something about my story not hit home people? I am a certified pathetic, genetically impaired flirt pariah! I am in desperate need of your tutelage here! Especially since my worst flirting technique is so awful it makes the stories I did share look like the tales of a smooth operator.

Come on kittens, cough up with the inside scoop, I'm counting on you. Help a little bitty kitty, please?

[i:b99b98a197] edited to add[/i:b99b98a197], NoveltyAct, you [b:b99b98a197] know[/b:b99b98a197] that I am. And now that you have been forewarned, you better flee for your life lest I try out one of my patented flirting techniques on you. (Actually, it's astonishing you came away from the other night unscathed . . . either I'm slipping or maturing . . . hmmm)

[Puff]

I don't flirt.

relativegirl your stories crack me up

[tommo]

Not any more you don't.

[Kieli]

ROTFLMAO...I'm sorry RG, that was just too hilarious for words. I'm at work at the moment so recounting the details would not be possible....however, I will be home soon. Thus, I'll post some similarly hilarious stories of my own plus how Diana came home with me for good (much to the displeasure of her gf at the time ) I'm no expert but I can at least steer you clear of my biggest mistakes (and god help me I made a lot of them )

Cheer up, RG! All in good time, lass....all in good time.

[hilarita]

i dont know if this counts as a flirting technique, and it certainly shouldnt by any standards, but perhaps it will make relativegirl feel better because it is one of the most monumentally stupid moments in my life.

i was at a play in high school with my then boyfriend (drat...my dirty secret is out...) and his best friend, and they were both standing in front of me. i have no idea, in retrospect, why i did this, but i put my hands up and sort of pushed their heads together. i think maybe i thought it would be like i pretended to hit their heads together and it would be funny. they were not standing very close together. i did not push very hard at all. i was under the impression that they were going to resist with some tiny amount of energy. what actually happened, however, was that both of them just went along with this tiny shove and bashed their heads into each other, so that to a casual observer, it would look like i just reached up and smashed their heads into each other, which i suppose, is what i did. one of them fell down, and you can imagine how completely shocked and appalled they were. i have spent the rest of my life carefully avoiding getting the look i got then.

i dont believe either of them suffered long term damage, but i think i might have. dont try this at home.

[Tiggrscorpio]

Sorry to disappoint, relativegirl, but there was really nothing more to tell. Nothing else happened that evening. I was far too drunk and in way too much pain and everytime my girlfriend looked at me, all she could do was laugh.

We never went dancing again. Can't think why!

[alyamber4ever]

Ok, well.....I don't know if you could call what I do "Flirting". I like to call it....."Making a total ASS outta myself". I'm good at that. Seriously though...I suck at the whole flirting deal. At least, I think I do. I don't really have anything in particular that I do. I just try to be myself. And.....I think it's possible, I may use the half smile thingy. Made famous by our beautiful Amber, of course I am an extremely SHY girl myself. I mean, really shy. Like...probably more shy than Tara. I find it hard to talk to girls..or just people for that matter. I hope I get better at the whole thing. I mean, I can't suck forever...right?


Aly & Amber

[relativegirl]

good god [b:a3c3e7e0de] hilarita[/b:a3c3e7e0de] that's classic . . . and so disturbingly familiar it feels like it happened to me. what if somewhere in the world your old high school boyfriend and my high school crush are exchanging stories about the weird things girls did to them in high school . . . one poor sot has a bent noggin and the other has a bent . . . well, you know.

hey, maybe they're both gay now! we might've turned 'em. i want a toaster, or whatever the equivalent prize is for turning a man.

[AutumnT]

[quote:bee8a6e4ec][b:bee8a6e4ec][i:bee8a6e4ec]Quote:[/i:bee8a6e4ec][/b:bee8a6e4ec]

---

. i want a toaster, or whatever the equivalent prize is for turning a man.

---

[/quote:bee8a6e4ec] God, I'd have the kitchen department of Macy's then. Almost every guy I dated during the clueless period known as high school and college has turned out gay. My theory has always been we knew it was "safe".

[relativegirl]

See, I knew there was more to safe sex than what they were telling us . . . lesbians and gay men going through the motions of polite pleasant sex with each other.

It's almost kinda sweet in a sad and pathetic way.

[Indygo]

As Enigmatic said, it's all about letting go...losing your inhibitions...

Of course, it always struck me as one of the most perverse things in the universe that only by NOT being afraid of making a fool of yourself can you possibly hope to actually succeed in not making a fool of yourself!

OK, so that actually made better sense in my head than written down.

Indygo

[slayer747]

hmmm... i got a few myself but that doesn't mean that they work... they usually leave me looking like a complete ass and then i'd be mentally kicking myself for a week after that, but hey... what doesn't work for me might actually work for you. usually, a method i use if the 49-51 method. this is when i'm not sure about the other girl's sexual orientation... so i like, make her think like i'm just being extra friendly 49% of the time and that i'm kinda flirting 51% -- how i do it, well, favors, stares, compliments and all... well, i don't know how you'll do it, it's actually up to you. if you think she's flirting back... then make it 30% to 70% and so on...


or you know, you could always ask innocent quetions, like "do you have a boyfriend?" if she says no, then ask again, "do you have a girlfriend?" (while you're asking, give her the kind of look amber used in the "unofficially" scene, okay?) well, this is not only a flirting thing but a very, very effective way to find out whether the girl is a homophobic freak... if she is... then why would you continue flirting?


(gees, i hope i don't get in trouble for this...)

[relativegirl]

Wow [b:0bc90165b6] slayer747[/b:0bc90165b6] I have to say I'm very impressed. It sound's like you've got flirting down to a pretty exact science if you can pull off the 49% / 51% thing. Even the 70% / 30% split eludes me. I tend to express my interest by either staring silently at my feet saying nothing or, as described earlier, bobbing my head up and down in my crush's crotch. Which amounts to a 0% / 1000% type thing and is not very effective, lemme tell ya.

You've inspired me to try honing my techniques and my math.

[amber kitty]

aw this is fabualous - I am an absolute disaster area when it come to flirting... I perfected the half smile, and eyebrow thing, but the object of my attention thought I was sick and offered to take me to the school nurse!

the other problem I have is that I speak about 100,000 decibels quieter than anyone else does, and by the fourth repeat it definately doesn't sound as good as it did in my head...

help!

[Triscuit7]

I'm more or less out at work and I don't think I flirt but several of my employees at the bookstore say that I do. In my head, I'm simply being nice, attentive, and trying to sell books. They say that there are certain customers that I rush off to help. I say, so I'm flirting with Mr. X and Ms. X? They hesitate at the Mr. X - mind you I haven't looked at a guy "that way" since a sophomore in high school (you so don't want to know how many years ago!), but.....they assure me that I am all puppy dog with certain of the female customers.

I don't see it but there must be something since one woman (who happened to be blind) asked a bookseller if I was a lesbian. She answered yes to which the woman replied, "Oh I like lezzies! Is she nice?" My bookseller then told her that I was involved and besides my partner is the nice one (I'm mean - I make her work....<g>). So much for me thinking I'm treating all customers the same. I simply have preferences....

Concerning flirting all I know is that I have a tendency to gibber when I like someone. Which is why I tend to be quiet at parties and social situations and why I never can meet Aly or Amber. I'd be a puddle at their feet.

Ciao, Triscuit7

[Ittybittykitty]

RG, those two stories had me on the floor rolling around like a dog, and I laughed too. he he he. My flirting technique consists of lots of direct eye contact, open body language and genuine complements. There is actually a website if you go onto yahoo and type in flirting that gives you tips....good stuff.
My worst flirting experience was with a guy (before I was out) and we were talking and laughing and such and we both moved in such a way that our heads hit dead on, and I ended up on my ass on the ground laughing. He had a huge bruise right in the middle of his forehead, and it was so funny.(Too much American Pie.) But we're still pretty good friends. However he never did let me live it down.....argh.

[witchbitchwillow]

lollol, RG those stories were sooo funny!!!

im useless at flirting, im sooo scared of being rejected i suppose. well most of the time i am but still lol.

i hate flirting with girls just incase they turn round and like are all like omg fuck of you lezzie! it hasnt happened yet but im still really scared and also i always go really stupid when i flirt abd make a complete ass of myself, wlel no change there then. ehheh

love ellie x x x x

[Kieli]

Hey relativegirl, be a dear and email me, eh? I was going to post the whole sordid story about Diana and our flirting ways but I got a nice pinch in the arm for wanting to put it in public I'll have to give you our version in private.

Peace on ya,
Kieli (kielran@hotmail.com)

[relativegirl]

You've got mail!

[Taz]

I'm naturally charming, my friends say it leeks out of my pores but, for some reason it usually only happens around older women. My wife thinks its cute, she says I can read the menu as long as i don't try to order anything.*love that woman*

If all else fails, I resort to asking about coffee, kisses and gay love.

[Yelowsub]

I never inentionally flirt, I usually just get coy and smile, look at the ground and laugh a lot because I get really shy. I always try to make eye contact. Other than that I don't do anything. I'm way to scared that I'm make a fool out of myself.

I actually spend a lot of time trying not to flirt. Basically I get to talk to the girl that I have a crush on very often. She has a boyfriend. So I have to be very careful about not acting coy around her as to not tip myself off. But she can also be very touchy, like touching your arm while talking to her or hugging you goodbye. I have to be very careful. And the first time she hugged me I almost sighed but caught myself, I don't think she noticed.

She is a member of the school literary magazine like me and one week I submitted a poem that I had written about her. After everyone was done she looked at me and smiled (she looks so much like Alyson Hannigan, he even has the same half smile that makes my knees melt) I couldn't help but smile back and look down shyly. Like Tara in Hush.

Next year I'm going to be Editor in Chief and she might be one of my assistant editors, what am I going to do? She's just so cute, how am I going to be able to contain myself.
So I generally try not to flirt