It's Grandparents Monday MKF 12-16-02

[Magrat70]

Hey looked around for a daily thread, couldn't find one. I'm a little bit down today (okay a lot) My Grandad who I adored passed away yesterday. He had a year long battle with cancer and he died in his sleep yesterday morning. I think the hardest thing was hearing my dad cry (never heard him cry before). My family live 450 miles away so my g/f and I are preparing to leave for the funeral. Not the cheeriest way to start a daily thread but needed to get it off my chest

[tommo]

Ah magrat, I'm sorry to hear that. Best wishes to you and yours.

My grandparents are all gone, and it was terribly sad when my grandmother died, but she was a wonderful woman. I have many precious memories of her; oddly enough, the most recent ones that I treasure are of her in hospital. See, my grandmother could always make me laugh. There she was, in a hospital bed, surrounded by us all looking on anxiously and the ward she was in was pretty much full of old people.

This guy kept shuffling past her room complete with a colostomy bag on wheels. Squeaking his way to and from god only knows where.

The third time he passed, my grandmother turned to us all and winked, saying "I think he fancies me, you know." Bless her. And you lot wonder where I get it from...

So, what I'm wondering today is; do any of you have "great grandparent" stories to share, in an effort to take along the good memories with us.

And yeah, it's bloody wet and miserable here. Bleh. The Kitten is the warmest place right now.

[Magrat70]

In my grandad's honour. he came out with a few good lines and the time he lost his car . My favourite though is when he phoned me up to say that he was getting his haircut by My Gran's hairdresser but he said it was okay 'cause they were a bi-sexual hairdresser (he meant uni-sex). He always could make me laugh

[kukalaka]

I'm so sorry for you, Magrat.

One of my grandmothers died when I was 6, also after a long battle with cancer. Once, she was in hospital again, we were there to visit my grandfather. We entered the appartement and I'll never forget the image of him sitting in an arm chair, quietly crying. That was the moment that made me realize that grown-ups aren't omnipotent, can't make everything good just because they want it and sometimes are just as helpless as small children. Quite a change of perspective

[Enigmatic]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss Magret. The best wishes here from Denmark to you and your family.

I have alot of wonderful grandparents stories, especially with my granddad (father's father). It's funny, coz him and me are the only blue eyed people in my father's family, and I don't even only has his eyes, we are also very much alike in mind. Where my grandmother worries alot, he's always happy and telling jokes. I used to help him at his farm, and when I was little I told my family that I wanted a husband like granddad. He has thought me alot, and I loved (and still love) to sit by him and listen to his stories.
But we are living very far apart, and I see them less and less. I'm very sad, but there's nothing I can do about it. The last time we were there, we sat in the living room together and he said: "So you are going home now? But then I'll miss you...". I love him so much, and the day he dies I'll be heartbroken...So I just pray that they day will never come, heh...

Happy Monday Kittens, and thanks to Magret and Ruth for taking me down memory lane...

[MaClayMagic]

Magrat, my heartfelt condolences to you. I know all too well this year what it's like to lose a loved one. I just had my first birthday without my dad here, made for a quiet day. Just remember all the good times, and what made you laugh the most. We had this put on my dad's plaque "Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday".

[JulesP600]

So sorry to hear this Magrat. My best wishes you feel better soon.

I lost my Grandma just over a year ago and it was one of the hardest things. My Grandma had a series of strokes and each one made it worse, we had such a tough time as it seemed to go on forever and we all knew really that she wouldn't get any better.

I was 4 when I lost my Grandad and they were the only Grandparents I knew.

My Grandma really made me laugh at times but my fondest memories are from when I was quite a lot younger, I used to go for tea every Tuesday We used to watch TV together and chat. It was lovely. I still miss her and always will but at least I have some really nice memories.

[Rosenberg]

Magrat, Im so sorry to hear about your loss. You have my sincere condolences. I know how you feel about this happening so close to the holidays. My Mothers birthday would have been November 30th, so our family observed that day without her as well as our first Thanksgiving without her and now comes the first Christmas with her not being there. Its difficult to get through, but you try to remember the good times and happy memories. She used to like to sit in the front pew at church so she could smile and wink at the priest. He even mentioned that at her funeral service. Thats one thing I didnt inherit from her. Heh.

My grandmother died when I was 9 years old, just before Christmas. We used to observe Christmas Eve at her house, so that first Christmas was painful to get through. I used to stay overnight at her house, and she used to let me stay up as late as I wanted. She would sit outside on the swing on the front porch to say her nightly rosary, and she would let me sit with her. But she always told me to duck when she saw my Dad drive by on his way home from working the afternoon shift at the factory. It was our secret (although I think he knew). Its been over 35 years, and I still miss her.

[samiamiguess]

Sorry to hear of your loss Magrat.

I lost my Grandmother in the summer to liver cancer.
Just before the end I went home to see them both and it was lovely. We always had the capacity to make each other laugh and giggle, which is amusing on a seventy-nine year old. We cried of course. You could just tell how she was thinking that she wouldn't be doing this again. However, I couldn't bring myself not to see her again so went home once more and she had deteriorated rapidly. Needless to say it was a rather emotional experience for me.

This year will be my first christmas without her. I'm not close to my family other than my grandparents and a few cousins but each year we would meet up and they would just astound me with their love. I will always be grateful to them for everything they did for me, which was a lot.

My abiding memories? I try to forget the last time I saw her and replace it with thoughts of her love of the not so odd tipple of sherry, the game Scrabble despite the fact she always lost, and making me perfect soft boiled eggs and soldiers every weekend when I grew up. Oh, and she introduced me to Whisky, the little devil.

Will it stop bloody raining here?! No, probably not..
Happy moday all,
Sonya

[Mainer]

Magrat, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I also lost someone last night. She was my dad's cousin, but she was one of a group of older women that were like grandmother's to me. She was 87 and had a heart attack so it was rather unexpected. My real grandparents all died when I was fairly young, but I do have some good memories of them. My Nana was alway sneaking me and my sister candy when my mom told her not to give us any. It's never easy losing someone you love. I hope remembering the good times helps get you through this very difficult time. My heart goes out to you and your family.


~Spencer~

[BBOvenGuy]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Magrat.

My last grandparent passed away less than a month ago. He too died peacefully in his sleep. I'd just seen him this past summer when the whole family gathered for his 90th birthday.

I started out with only three grandparents, since my father's father died three years before I was born. My mother's mother died of cancer just before my 14th birthday. I was born on her birthday and she was the favorite grandparent of my childhood. The two grandparents I knew as an adult were both incredibly special to me, and taught me some very important lessons about life. I miss them, but their memory lives on inside me.

Have a good day, everybody...

[Dumbsaint]

Very sorry to hear of your grandfather's passing, Magrat. Much love to you and yours during this time.

My maternal grandparents have both passed away. They lived a few hundred miles away from us while I was a kid, but I did get to visit them at least once a year while they were alive, typically at Thanksgiving, at which time my cousins, my sister and I would put on plays to entertain *coughtorturecough* all the aunts and uncles. As the oldest, I always got to be the director. Good times. Grandma Jo taught me to enjoy cooking and encouraged me enthusiastically to read as a kid (she was a first grade teacher and a reading tutor), and my Nano (grandpa) taught me the importance of looking on the bright side, and to simply keep smiling. Even after he'd battled cancer for years, towards the end of his life he habitually wore the sweetest smile on his face. He always seemed to be content just to be where ever he was. I never got to know either of them as well as I'd have liked to, but I'll always remember the smells of her kitchen and garden and his gap-toothed grin.

My father's parents, though, have always lived very nearby and have been a big part of my life. My grandma practically raised my sister and I, and it is to her that I owe a lot of my creativity, I think. She was the one who encouraged my imagination as a kid, and never tired of playing silly games of my invention. I'm lucky in that I still have the both of them around. My grandpa is a retired physics professor with a very odd scientist-y sense of humor, and as I've discovered only in recent years, a really pervie sense of humor, too. Hee. Nice to see that even that side of me has roots in the family. In his spare time, one of the things he likes to do is make somewhat goofy computer animation movies which he and my grandmother, and occasionally my father and I, read the lines for. My favorite one features a naked from from the waist up Viking woman named Brunhilde. She walks sofly but carries a big labrys. Hee. My grandmother was most scandalized by that. Or at least, she pretended to be.

[FlereImsaho]

My condolences to you Magrat, so sorry for your loss and for all the kittens who have lost loved ones.

My grandparents have all been gone for some time. I cherish the memories they gave me. I only wish that they had lived long enough for my children to have known them as I did.

Granddad, my Mom's Dad, was very special to me. He always carried a can of tobacco in a pocket and rolled his own cigarettes. It was fascinating to watch him take out a small piece of paper, curl it, and gently place tobacco into the fold. Then he would roll it up, light the fire and breath the smoke. I remember watching one time when I was about 5 and asking him if I could try it. No one else would have done it, and he wouldn't if Granny had been in the room, but he just handed it to me. I put it in my mouth and sucked hard. It was fascinating at first, watching the tip glow brighter as I breathed in. Then my throat constricted. I gave it back to him long before my breath returned. I have thanked him many times over the years for that act, as I avoided the habit when my friends started smoking. He died a couple of years after that.

Granny, his wife, was a cook. She cooked for schools during the school year, cooked for an Easter Seal camp during the summers, and cooked for church fund raisers on weekends. Her homemade bread was legendary. For me she made cookies. When I need comfort food, I make cookies. They aren't as good as hers, but they remind me of her. My children didn't get to know her either, as Alzheimer's claimed her some time ago. She is my hero.

[skittles]

Magrat, my condolences on your grandmother's death. It is hard to lose part of our families. We think of the unit & grieve as we lose parts of it over time. We are still a family, but missing those that are gone.

I was wonderfully lucky to have known two great grandparents and all of my grandparents. I also knew many of my great aunts & uncles. My parents have a total of 10 siblings, all of which are also "great" aunts & uncles.

I grieved at the death of each grandparent, losing the last one just over 2 years ago at 100 years of age was the hardest for me. My aunt had been living with her, and she had just had visitors including the pastor. She was sitting on the couch & just peacefully died. That was the way she wanted to go. She did not like doctors or hospitals & had been able to avoid them for most of her life. All nine of her children were born at home. She had started out as a teacher & continued "teaching" in one way or another until just a few years before she died. She taught me how to do many things, except crochet... I still can't get the tension right. I miss her, but know that I wouldn't want her to be here if she didn't want to be.

Each year at Christmas I bring out the crocheted angel she made for the top of my tree & I thank her for it.

[jixer]

Hello Kittens-

My condolences Magrat. I'm at an age when all of my grandparents have past away. My memories are of very strong people who took time out for their grandchildren. My two best memories are taking my grandparents from New York, New York (they'd go to Jersey, but reluctantly) on a car trip from our home in the Pacific NW to the Rockies and the smell of homemade bread when my maternal grandmother came to live with us.

I think my maternal grandmother had the most influence on me. She gave away lemondrops to the local kids and listened to them. Her garden was smaller each year until she just had dozens of houseplants but she never gave up what she loved. And there was space at her table for strays all the time.

Thank you for letting me remember and I hope memories clear way the pain,

Jixer

[La]

my condolences to you, magrat.

i only knew 3 of my grandparents since my dad's dad died when he was in high school. his mom, my granny, died when i was 5 and all i really remember about her is that she had curly white hair and a cool log cabin.

my mom's parents are the grandparents i usually think of first when people talk about grandparents. my grandpa was from italy and opened an italian restaurant in manhattan in 1931 (first it was a speakeasy, then it became a famous italian restuarant - i have one of their first liquor licenses from 1934 hanging in my kitchen). he cooked a lot. when we visited them in new york, i would go to the little corner store when i was 7 or 8 and buy candy. one time i remember asking him for $2 to go buy candy and he said, "all i have is a twenty, is that okay?" I thought that was the coolest thing. He died at the age of 89 from pancreatic cancer when i was 10. by then he and my grandma were living with us, and i remember that my mom let me and my brother go say goodbye to him, after he'd already passed away in his sleep, and he looked all peaceful and just like he was sleeping. my grandma said he'd gotten up in the middle of the night saying that he wanted to say goodbye to the children, but she just got him back in bed since it was 4 in the morning. my grandma was cool too. she was from austria and spoke with a bronx/austrian accent that i never even noticed until one of the kids i was babysitting for told her "you talk funny". when i was little, my mom would leave me with my grandparents in ny because she was a flight attendant and when she was gone during the week, i got to stay with grandma and grandpa. she used to play hide and seek with me all over their house. and she always let me hide. she also told me bedtime stories and sang me songs when i was going to sleep. she passed away when she was 91. I always tell people that I have great long-life genes and I'm going to live forever ...

grandparents are great.

[dulcinea]

Magrat, I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

I'm lucky to still have one grandparent here - my Dad's mother is still going strong at 95. And I also have my mothers Aunt - they lived in the same city as us, so they were like an extra set of grandparents, and I still spend a lot of time with her now.

I always used to say that I didn't have a grandfather,as my parents fathers both died before or shortly after I was born. But now, I look back and realise that my uncle bill was exactly that to me - a grandfather. He died when I was 12, while the rest of the family was spending christmas in the US with mum's brother. Actually, sitting here typing this, I realise that it was exactly 14 years ago today. The most vivid memory I have of him, is the day he told my brother and I the reason why he was bald. Apparently, in his time in France in WW2, he went to sleep in a paddock, and when he woke up, all his hair had been eaten by pigs.

but I can't let this topic go by without mentioning the most important person in my life so far. My Grandma, my mum's mother. She died just over 2 years ago, at age 93. Right from a young age, the 2 of us were very close. I was lucky to have spent a lot of time with her in my childhood, even though she lived in a different city. I'll always be thankful to the friends I met when I went to university - they all happened to live in the same small city that she did. So in my holidays, I'd go and stay with her, and hang out with my
new friends. Which meant in the last 5 years of her life, I spent a lot of time with her.

I've got lots of amusing anecdotes about my grandma, but, well, she kinda lost her mind in the last year or two. It was hard for us, and when she died I was devestated, and still am - but it there was finally relief from the constant worry. heh - "no grandma, I have a car, I didn't have to ride a horse for 260 Km's to visit you..."

what can I say about the woman who, instead of chocolate syrup, felt 7 year olds could have liquer on ice cream....and who, at 92, had a fall and injured her head badly - why? because she was showing off, and demonstrating how to do the charleston

I miss her. but she is still with me.

[Wytchi Grrl]

So sorry for your Loss Margrat. My thoughts are with u and your family at this hard time.

Christmas brings Happiness and tears for me when I remember my Nanny Who died nearly 3 years ago, She loved christmas like no other I've known. She is my Christmas angel. It's wonderful to hear about how much love other ppl have for there granparents. I can't wait to be one myself one day.

[gspiggott]

Magrat I am so sorry for your loss. I still miss my granddad 13 years after he died. He was from the west of Ireland and wound up with five daughters ,three of them identical triplets. When he would come to visit us on the way to Florida he always carried his portable bar,an accordian and a fiddle.Right after he died I saw this movie called the Queen of Hearts. It's about an Italian family in London and how the youngest sees the world around him . He has a very eccentric grandfather who dies but there's an image in the film of the grandfather after his death transformed into a boy running to his mother's arms. I wept buckets and I'm usually not the type. So when I think of my grandfather that's what I think of.

[VampNo12]

Magrat, I am so sorry for your loss, please know I'm keeping you (and your family) in my thoughts!

As for grandparents, I have one left my maternal grandmother. This holiday season is even more special, because just 2 months ago she had severe blood loss, no appetite, and we truly thought she wouldn't make it to Thanksgiving. Happily, with some time spent in the hospital she has recovered, and now back home resting comfortably.

What I love about my Grandma Ruth is that she has so much spunk, truly a joy to behold. Grandma can barely walk (really should be in a wheelchair), but rather preserve with her walker. Although, when people (even strangers) see this tiny, older woman (she's 88) walking, she has such a loving/sweet disposition that people gravitate towards her (ie want to help her).

My other grandmother died 3 years ago, and she was a hoot ! Grandma Hen had a tendency to shout real loud what she thought of people, so if we were eating in restaurant she would scream "What an ass on that girl"/etc. Lesson don't take Grandma out to eat, as well don't let her drive, my god this woman was like a drag-racer, yikes!

[fontaine13]

Magrat: My sincere condolences on your loss, having lost my Nana to cancer in May last year, while I dont KNOW how you feel, I have a fair idea.

Much like Ruth I too spent many weeks visiting my Nan in hospital and while many times we would walk outside and burst into tears I can say that I would not have missed a minute of it. Even up to the night she died and the family gathered around her as she slowly but peacefully passed away. One thing I can say is that whatever challenges life should decide to throw at me, I hope that I can handle it with the dignity and bravery that she did.

OK a funny grandparent story, prior to becoming ill she had been caring for my grandad who has dementia. During the very early stages of the illness she was still able to leave him in the house alone while she did her weekly shopping. Each time she would return she would ask him what he had been doing while she was away. Of course 99% of the time he was not able to give her an answer but this particular day he said If you want to know what I do when you are out then you should stay home There really is nothing much you can say to that is there?

[Xanadu21]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Magrat. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Both my paternal grandparents passed away to cancer, within a year of each other. My grandpa moved in with my family after my grandma died, and when we found out he was sick. It was difficult to see him so helpless, but to this day I am glad to have had the time with him.

My maternal grandparents are both still alive, and I'm very close to my grandma. My favorite memory of her is from when I was about 12 and was first getting into feminism. At that time, my grandma did all the cooking and cleaning in the house, and I took it upon myself to share some of my newfound knowledge and opinions. Something I said must have stuck because after dinner that night, my grandpa sat down in his easy chair to watch tv, as usual. My grandma marched right over to him and told him to "get his ass out of that chair and clean up in the kitchen!" The look on his face was the funniest thing I've ever seen. To this day, my grandma loves to be "modern". She cursed more often than my parents and is prone to sneaking me alcohol at Christmas and New Years even though I'm underage. My grandma's cool

[seurat]

My condolences Magrat, hope you're getting all the love and support you need.

I never met my paternal grandparents, they both died young. I did get to know my mother's parents a bit, altho they lived in England and I didn't visit there until after they passed on. They did make the trip to see us once - on an ocean liner yet-
and I loved them. I was about 8 or 9, and a horribly spoiled little boy, but devastatingly cute no doubt (well, maybe.) My grandfather would sit by the pool - we were in a hotel waiting to move into our uncompleted new house- and play endless games of Old Maid, which he let me win. And we were playing for money, a quarter a game as I recall. God, I must have been insufferable. They were both teachers, he a headmaster, and they were lovely people. I don't think of them as often as I should. I wish I'd been able to know them better.

[taralicious]

Magrat-allow me to express my condolences on the loss of your grandfather.
The only one of my grandparents I've ever really known is my maternal grandmother. I never knew my maternal grandfather as he passed away when my mother was fifteen.
My dad's parents lives were winding down when I was growing up but we went to see them every other weekend when my sister and I were kids.
It's odd but as I grow older I find myself wishing that I had listened more to them as a kid as they were such a fountain of knowledge about the changes in life and society in the 20th Century.
One of my favorite uncles just died two weeks ago as he just wasted away from complications of Alzheimer's, truly an insidious disease.
I was a pallbearer at his funeral which was both an honor and a very hard experience at the same time.
It is rather like both Dawn and Anya's speeches from "The Body" as it's hard to believe that that person will never do anything again, not even the simplest things.
But, sorry to bring anyone down. My heat goes out to you in this time of need.

[SJ]

Condolences to Magrat70 and taralicious.
My Granddad passed away five years ago and I miss him loads.

[WiccansIllusion]

My condolances to Magrat and everyone else.

Originally I knew my grandparents and great grandparents. I also had a Nana Ruth for whoever mentioned one on my dads side. She actually started a famous clothing store in Chicago called Kanes and met people like Calvin Klien etc.

My other grandparents had run a paint brush buisness, which is still on my moms side of the family.

All of them are gone now, mostly from cancer, but I do have a lot of memories I'm grateful for.

[kukalaka]

I've been thinking about them the whole day thanks to this thread. Thanks Magrat

My grandpa tried to teach me to play chess once. I must have been about 6 at the time and thought it was very interesting, but he kept trying to convince me I had lost just because I'd lost that useless king. Still makes me chuckle when I think back to it.

I really would have liked to be able to talk to them when being more grown-up and actually able to ask questions concerning their life. Because it would have been so good to have more than one person's perspective on our history (I still have one of my grandmothers).

And I'm so sorry they didn't live to see the Wall come down. And have all those exotic fruits that seem to be so normal now. And be able to travel. And basically just enjoy their pension.

My other grandfather died long before I was born. He was a musician, had his own band and he would have loved for me to get a chance and try out all the instruments. As would I. Especially the drums


Edited to correct miss-spellings (what else?).