New Fic - Neverland

[Katez0r]

I just figured I'd chime in here to let you know that I love this fic. In fact, I love it so much that it's ruined me for most other fic. Hardly anything else I've read has come anywhere near this level. You've captured these characters so perfectly and, it seems, effortlessly. And I love all the little details you throw in. You've taken them and woven them so seamlessly into the city of San Francisco (my hometown, I love and miss it dearly, so to see it rendered here in such lovely fashion is a big treat) that it feels like THIS is where they truly belong, not in Sunnydale, not fighting evil on the Hellmouth. Also, I'm totally digging the indie music references, they're another big treat. But yeah, I'll troll the internet, looking for some new fic, and when I don't find anything that catches my eye, I just shrug my shoulders and head back here to read Neverland over again. And it's beautiful every time.

[luv4willtara]

Hey Heather.. I just re-read your entire story and I got to say.. YOU ARE MY GODDESS!! You are the most amazing fanfiction writer and I just want you to know that I am now your love slave! I am going insane Neverland withdrawel... so you better hurry and write the next chapter.. I must know what happens with our two amazing lovely females!!!! You totally rock my world! You're the coolest lady ever! UPDATE SOOOOOON!!! Au Revoir!!!
Katie AKA luv4willtara

[Darth Pacula]

G'day, Heather.

Okay, I've got to admit that I actually have been procrastinating with feedback for this for a week or so now, on top of the week it took me to read the whole thing.

For a change, the reason behind this wasn't so much bone idle laziness, as it was a touch of anxiety about weighing in with my two cents. Not that I'm afraid of sounding like a right-royal pillock, cause ... well, I am one, but it's more that there is so much ground to cover.

If I let myself, I could probably waffle on about every fantastic little aspect of this opus of unrequited love that you have weaved for us adoring kittens, but that would probably keep me up until the wee small hours, and I suppose I really should go to work tomorrow. So, on that note, I'll just bush over the story so far, and focus on the latest update.

Blimey, you've really got a masterpiece here, Heather. The way that you have woven in so many little plot lines, it's like the Bordeaux Tapestry of fanfic. The whole unrequited love thing Willow and Tara that feel for each other, that actually is completely requited, but neither knows it because they won't let it slip .... bloody hell, that's good.

And the supporting cast is just as deftly handled. You've got Buffy, trying to help, but unwittingly stuffing up their plans left, right and center. Then there's Xander, who you have captured perfectly by the way, playing an intrical role in the whole series of misunderstandings that is simultaneously frustrating and so very enjoyable. Then there's Anya, blunt as all get out, and really the only one saying exactly what they feel.

Then I could harp on about your own creations, which you have truly managed to breath life into, but I'm lingering dangerously close to waffle territory, so I'd better get a grip on myself.

Um .... I did say I was going to focus on the last update, didn't I? Guess I'd better start then.

Well, Tara keeps trying to move past her feelings for Willow, since she thinks that they are going to lead to nothing but pain, but surprise, she can't! Doesn't seem to stop her trying though, does it?

It's amazing how the presence of one person can totally destroy the good mood that Willow's been working on all day, while Tara's likewise good mood has been equally shattered by what she thinks is Willow forgiving Xander. Which, by the way, is a brilliant idea.

Now, I could ramble on for hours yet, but I'd better stop before I give myself RSI, and finish with the hope that since Morgan seems to have clued into W&T's mutual attraction will take it upon herself to start playing matchmaker, or at the very least, back off Tara.

Thanks ever so much for writing this, Heather, and I can't wait until the next gripping installment.

Bye for now,
Paul.

[EasierSaid]

Kittens Aw guys, so so so sorry, sorry, sorry for the delay between updates!!!

Guppy Thanks - glad you liked the tension, and Morgan catching on can only be a good thing, right? Knowing this Willow as I do (we're on a first name basis, you see) she's likely to attribute Tara's annoyance and anger with her own behavior, and not Xander. (Like, "she's mad at me for being rude and taking the phone call".) That's not to say there won't be noticing though, just... perhaps not the results that would lead to immediate smoochies. I too can't wait for the weekend, I think poor Willow is due haha. Thanks very much, hope you enjoy the next update.

dorksrcool Thanks very much - Michelle... she doesn't know much about Xander, it's pretty much all second-hand stories from Marissa so she's free to base most of her thoughts about Willow and Tara on the W/T interactions she's seen. Thanks very much for the quoted lines, re: the first, I love playing around with words, esp if there's any hint of contrast and alliteration; re: the second - I think it everytime UPS comes to the office. And... dreams... you say? No worries, one coming up fairly soon. Enjoy the story in the meantime!

SylverMaki Thanks very much - hope you like this next one!

Reallybigpineapple Thanks - it's great to be back (you know, when I am *blush*). It's definitely not just you - disruption of the status quo is very very imminent. It might not be a massive disruption, but enough so that Tara, at least, will start seeing things a little differently. The visit to Anya's - you'll just have to see. Willow will definitely come out this weekend (er, her weekend, not our weekend - not that fast!) - I promise no disruptions there and Tara should know roughly around the same time. Willow keeping it cool with Mogan or Tara keeping her cool with Xander... not likely, but stay tuned. (And pssah, I happen to think questions are very constructive, lets me see what you're thinking are the big unresolved plot points.) There will definitely be more musical name-dropping; Tara still has to listen to the rest of the 'Real Me' CD and there are a few more days both girls need to get through. (Hence, much music to come.) TV on the Radio... it's not for everyone, but I adore 'Staring at the Sun' - very sensual and intense. Neko... well who doesn't want to run off with her? (Well, me, because I have the best gif in the world—and I say that from a very un-biased pov —but you know what I mean, Neko is some sort of Patsy-Cline-reincarnated-siren - truly amazing talent.) If you haven't, definitely check out the New Pornographers - Neko's in the band and they're really catchy and poppy. I like their new album 'Twin Cinema' quite a bit (esp the song 'The Jessica Numbers' and 'Three or Four'). Congrats on your own personal love triumph and good luck on the coming out - a scary process but SO worth it. (My experience, any way.) Re: feedback - love to hear your thoughts - everyone's thoughts - gives me a lot to chew on and consider so no apologies please; I actually even enjoy writing the replies hehe (esp when I get to recommend cool bands like the New Pornographers). Thanks very much and enjoy!

Urn of Osiris Thanks so much - you're right, the big moments are about the play out... I would say, from here on out we're going to be experiencing some pre-quakes, little pre-shocks that will lead up to the big rumbling weekend. Thank you for the feedback - I really hope you like the next update.

tarebear Thanks for coming out of your comfy spot and the very, very kind words. And happy belated birthday! I'm glad I could help make the day extra special (that's so cool). Congratulations too - you were the first to quote the infamous 'oh thank *god*' line haha - so glad you liked it. It was only right that Michelle and Morgan see it - they're not loaded down with years of baggage; why wouldn't they, you know? I'm glad you think Morgan's a nice person - me too - and in her own way she'll definitely nudge the girls together (they're headed that way anyway haha). Hope you like this next one, and thanks again.

fabouly Glad I could make you laugh, and thanks. Thanks very much re: the writing and the story - I'm really happy to hear you like where it's going. Thanks also re: the other characters - I worry sometimes that the other characters aren't well-developed enough because we see them for such brief interludes, so thanks very much for your thoughts to the contrary! Big relief. Hope you enjoy the next one.

UnderTheirSpell Definitely some nudging, albeit, subtle, from Michelle and Morgan. I think you might like this next update, at least, I hope so. Willow and Tara might not totally know what's going on, but both of them are starting to realize something is off. Thanks very much!

caz Yay! I'm glad this last update could help cheer you up after a crappy day at work (I definitely know how that feels - a big thank you to all of the writers on this board how have helped fix a grumpy mood in the past). Haha re: your no longer wanting to slap Morgan - yup, yup, she is a good girl. Tara's not happy about the phone call, but will she say something about it... afterall, (as you'll see in this update) what business is it of hers to interfere? Shelia... yeah that's going to be an interesting one for sure. Very happy that you're enjoying the writing and enjoy!

SallyMcFine Thanks re: Michelle and Morgan - you can bet they'll spend some time that afternoon discussing what they just saw. Willow is rude to Morgan - she tends to do that when she feels intimidated (at least on the show, I noticed). You're right re: Morgan's confidence; it's such a different situation - she likes Tara, thinks they have a lot in common but hasn't been carrying an unrequited love around for three plus years so she should be okay. Xander definitely thinks Willow needs to do things on her own, but you're right, it's pretty open ended about whether he will come on up. I think his nudge about talking to Tara, opening up, will have an effect on Willow, and re: will Willow ask Tara what's wrong... definitely read on for more. Thanks!

Willow~Rosenberg No worries, I completely understand (my social life/down time in college, was at times, severely lacking because of busy-ness). You're right about Willow needing to get herself together - she looks to Xander to fix things he can't fix; her confidence is so shot because of fear - she needs to start confronting the fear and building up that confidence. Glad you liked the last few lines - Willow and Tara are oblivious... but increasingly less so (as you'll see in the next update), and Buffy... well, she's not completely oblivious (although what exactly she thinks she's seen is another matter entirely). Thanks very much - I hope you enjoy the next bunch of updates, and that your real life slows down a bit.

grimlock72 Yeah, but what are the chances that Willow *won't* mention that Xander might be coming up for the weekend, without explaining why he'd be visiting? (Read this next update for more on that.) You're right about the tenseness of the conversation between Michelle, Morgan, Willow and Tara; it's hard sometimes, for people to casually chat when everyone knows there's something else going on (even if they might not realize what that 'something' is). Willow and Tara are all about the worst possible conclusions, but hopefully, this time things will be a smidge different. You and Xander are right - Willow does lean on him too much. Understandable, since he's the only one who knows her big secret, but still... she needs to start thinking beyond that, taking more on her own (or, confiding more in the other people in her life). Time does go slowly in this story haha, sorry! It's my fault, really, if I was updating on a more timely basis it wouldn't feel so off. Tara will feel guilty when the truth comes out, but I guess its important to remember that she's not the only one that thinks what she thinks about Xander - Buffy thinks it too, so at least there will be strength in guilty numbers. Willow's coming out... *shakes head* Too true about the typicalness of outsiders seeing what's up; unfortunately, I know what that's like haha. Thanks Grimmy - so good to hear from you.

AlysonGoddess Thanks Erin - hope you like this next one!

napaea Thanks very much napaea! It's good to be back (even though I am going sort of slow). Thanks for the huge compliment re: the exciting-ness vs. an actual episode - that's pretty... wow. I was always into the demony stuff before I started this story too, so I definitely know what you mean (I think four of my top five stories on the board are demony stories). Thanks re: Xander. Very true about the lack of emotional baggage - he's also removed geographically so his perspective is definitely different. For me, I think Xander doesn't want to come up because he wants Willow to confide in Tara. If he's up there, Willow will confide in him, and maybe put off coming out to Tara... I know that for me also, I am a pro at talking myself out of doing things I'm afraid of, and I think Willow in this story, at least, has that same tendency. Xander knows Tara from before he and Buffy had their falling out, so he's already sold on Tara being a good match for Willow - he just wants Willow to actually do something about it. Morgan is handling communication better, but then again, she doesn't have a secret (that she's gay) or years and years of baggage slowing her down. I hope you like what I've done with Willow in this next update - I think she realizes she hasn't been very good with the communication and wants to fix that, in some small way, anyway. Don't worry about Morgan though - she'll definitely be okay at the conclusion of this story. (I think you're right though, that just about everyone on this board wants to be with Tara - she's very Neko Case in that way.) I can also sympathize with your take on Morgan - haven't we all been there? I can assure you Morgan will definitely not end up with Xander, because she is oh-so-very gay and he's oh-so-not a woman. Thanks!

JustSkipIt Yay - I'm glad you thought it flowed. Glad also that you think they both recovered remarkably well - hopefully that will carry through in this next update, and the rest of the story. You're right, they are starting to be more comfortable together, which means it's more likely to open up and notice things about each other and their own behavior. That hopefully will lead to more opportunities to talk about things, instead of just backing off because the other girl is a practical stranger, etc. So glad you liked that last bit between Morgan and Michelle - I had to put it in there. Tara and Willow are missing everything because they have reason to, you know? They have the baggage, the previous miscues and misunderstandings - Michelle and Morgan are under no such illusions so it's only natural (in my mind at least) that they would pick up on something. Really hope you like the next bit and thanks!

Artemis Progress! Yes indeedy, and thank god, right? Morgan is indeed a decent girl, and I'm pretty sure she's not spinning some scheme to swipe Tara out from under Willow's nose. Willow will definitely be disgruntled when she gets more information about Morgan coming on over, but I think she's trying to tell herself that it's not as dire as she might have believe it was the week previous. She is clinging to the 'Morgan isn't Tara's type' mantra, and you're right - it is both childish and fragile. The flip side to that mantra is, of course, 'a few more days, a few more days' - I think so long as Tara doesn't start fawning over Morgan, Willow will believe she has a sliver of a chance. Should be interesting, however, to see how indeed that all plays out. You're right to point out a lack of spark between Tara and Morgan. Both artists, both beautiful... but lacking whatever it is that makes you look at the other person with a goofy, love-struck grin. Xander... guy is always around, isn't he? But still making the odd observance that really gets under Willow's skin... in this case, that Willow really does need to start opening up to Tara about her state-of-mind, even if she doesn't come all the way clean right away. Of course, that's a double-edge sword, isn't it? She begins to open up and Tara finds out Willow is hurting, stressed out, scared, nervous... but without the whole story, Tara will have to fill in some of the blanks. That can of course, lead to some interesting interactions, and a bit of confusion for Tara. You're right though, communication and information is severely lacking in their relationship, so any opening up is a step in the right direction, even if they don't see how right it really is. Re: "when they do communicate, they really communicate" - I hope so. I hope that's a glimpse at how right they are for each other. Thanks so much Chris!

watson You're perfectly right to worry - I mean, what are the chances that Willow won't obliviously go on about Xander's maybe visit. (Hint - oh so very not good! ) The good news, is that she's also going to say some things that make Tara a little suspicious that maybe all of the nerves and Xander talk isn't what Tara's always thought it might be. That's not to say that Tara still won't be feeling wrong-end-of-the-stickish, and that she won't still think that Willow hearts Xander, but the wheels will be turning, for sure, starting with this next update. Re: Willow, and Morgan coming over... not easy for our favorite redhead, but she's clinging to what Tara's said - that Morgan's not perfect and that she's not looking to hook up with anyone... yet. That faith will be tested something fierce, but it definitely will be what Willow looks to to help get her through the week. Good point about what Willow will do once she comes out - the weekend will be so complicated, she has to get her courage up to come out, then deal with the reactions and aftermath (which never go as expected) as well as deal with Tara - I mean, that's more than the average person should have to deal with in a month, much less 48 hours. Hopefully, Willow will be able to open up to Tara a bit before then so that its not that traumatic. Michelle and Morgan will be nudgers, in a way, but really the onus I think now is on the two girls to start opening up. Thanks so much - lots of good stuff to chew on.

WillowRulez Good question for Morgan - keep wooing the unavailable girl, or step aside for the oblivious girl? Somehow, I think everything will go well. Excellent encouragement for Tara - hang in there! Thanks very much, hope you like this next one.

sam Thanks very much sam!

irishgrl3 Xander really doesn't want to come up for the weekend - I think he would prefer to see Willow handle her business herself, but he loves her and the guy did move cross-country to help her when she came out, so... you never know. Thanks re: Michelle - I think we all know someone like that, who just kind of watches and makes their own conclusions based on their observations (rather than being swayed by what the gossip is). I'm sure Marissa has told her about Xander, about Willow being straight, but she's much more comfortable with what her eyes see. That Morgan is catching on just bodes well for our girls - others see it so it's definitely really there! Hope you like the Anya visit (when I finally get around to writing it - promise to try and get it up within a week's time)- brief but fun is what I'm going for. Thanks!

Fleiss Thanks so very much! Hope you like this next bit.

Leafsdude Hope! It's a wonderful thing. I think of the three things you mentioned right off the bat, Willow noticing that Buffy and Xander's relationship might be strained is my favorite. That's one thing that I've missed with this story, what I really envy about people who are writing Scooby based stories - the ability to get into some of the relationships between the characters who are not named Willow and Tara. Getting back to Xander and Buffy a little makes me happy - not sure why, I guess just because I always liked that relationship on the show, esp where it was in S5 (the template for their relationship in this fic). And of course, there are many more W/T misunderstandings to come (because, the story would be pretty boring without them). You're right, they are rarely hopeful at the same time, but I think that right now they're up and down, up and down at a pretty quick clip, which beats just being down. Even in the hopelessness, there is the potential for hope right around the corner. Xander is a positive person, I think, so I think his positive hopes for Shelia and Buffy are more his hoping for the best than a reflection of what will probably happen. Thanks very much!

StarCat First, thanks so much for checking in - even though you were really really tired (I understood everything ). That's dedication, and was very very sweet. Thank you. Xander's potential visit is a bit of double edged sword - Willow looks to it as hopeful - something she can look forward to on the weekend that's comforting and not scary. For Tara, of course, Xander's visit could mean something completely different, and she's not sure what she thinks about who he is to Willow, and that could potentially be very bad (esp if she gets caught up obsessing about it). I think, again, that it will end up somewhere in the middle for both of them. W/T closeness being seen from the outside is also a good thing - and I think the key is the closeness - they're getting closer, so the chance that they'll start opening up even more is high. The potential of Jealous-Willow whenever Morgan is around (or mentioned) is high, but I think less so now that Willow's desperately holding on to the hope that Tara might want something different than the perfect Morgan. Thanks!

captain_katie Very interesting - Jordanna Brewster as Morgan. I certainly could see it - I think your description "genuinely kind" is how I imagined her (I wish I could point to an actress and say "that's Morgan!" but really, the best I could do is say that I would think she'd be a female Adrien Brody - not for looks, but personality; sort of loose, relaxed, confident). You're right about Willow (and to a lesser degree, Tara) being rude to Morgan, but I think Morgan gets that it's not about her. So glad you liked that Morgan and Michelle were noticing the W/T factor - about darn time, I say. Thanks!

I love Danish Thanks - I couldn't imagine Michelle seeing the girls again and not seeing the luuuuuurve. She had picked up on something at the party, and it made sense (in my head, anyway) that if she saw it, that maybe Morgan would see it as well. Willow's coming out will no doubt make waves (how can it not) but I have faith that goodness will prevail. Thanks!

Kajun Hehe - gotta love those Supremes. I think Tara's still thinking something might work with Morgan because Morgan is interested in her and with all they have in common... it's easy, you know? It's easy to date the girl you're supposed to date - and man oh man Tara's wishing her life was easy (or easier) whenever things with Willow get dicey. Your hypothesis is a good one though. Dating Morgan would be safe, and if it didn't work out and Willow was available.. well oh well (and all the better!). On the bright side, Tara really is getting fed up with fighting/hiding her feelings for Willow, and that is causing her to ask questions that she has been suppressing/ignoring up till now. When Willow talks about Xander, instead of just internalizing, Tara is starting to show her emotions, starting to ask herself and in some cases, asking Willow, about how some of this situation isn't making sense. That has to be good, right? Thanks re: the Xander conversation - I miss him, so I took great joy in getting a chance to write him again. His advice re: Tara being a "Willow-comforter" was good advice, I think, and I think it got under Willow's skin - look for her to try that, a little. Thanks also re: the reading latin - just something to link back to the show's version of Willow. Tara avoiding Willow for Morgan - don't think Willow didn't notice, and Morgan as matchmaker - wouldn't that be divine. Thank *you* for brightening my day.

Trom DeGrey Thanks for the welcome back - the plot does indeed thicken. Was a little hard to jump right back into such a complex chapter - ratcheting things up on all fronts, but hopefully all the setups are there for the rest of the week. Morgan on Thursday should be an interesting time for Willow and Tara. I can't wait for them to get to Anya's too (its been like... well, many months, anyway); and while I'm sure there will be some angst, I do hope when they finally get there it'll be mostly fun. (Mostly.) Thanks again.

tarawhipped Ah, well you know, I posted the second one super-quick-style (in my new definition of super-slow time, apparently) just to mess with you buddy. I WISH I was updating every 3 hours. I would be exhausted but incredibly happy to be making so much progress. Thanks very much re: Buffy. I love Buffy. I love all of the characters, they each have their own cadence and perspective; so much fun to tackle from a writer's pov, but Buffy is especially fun because she's so many things wrapped into one (perky/negative/optimistic/deep/dense/off-hand, etc). Can go a lot of different directions with her, and I have a lot of fun whenever she's involved. Thanks also for the super duper kind words re: the original characters. I'm just glad you think they fit. That's a really daunting task, putting people with the canon characters because you want it to seem like the new ones could have been on the show, you know? That's the way I think anyway - could this character have been a special guest star for an ep - how would they have fit on the show? Can I see them in that world, with that rhythm of dialogue, etc. Not saying mine could, but that's how I try to figure out if they're worth including. I also assume that they have lives "off-screen", you know? Michelle, Marissa, Morgan - their whole lives aren't about W/T, so they can come into the situation with completely different perspectives, and takes - that can be fun and scary at the same time, you know - don't want to assume too much with them, but still want to treat them like they're real people. I'll second your 'YAY' for Michelle - she has done the impossible, which is share her observation with another living soul. Also happy with your observation re: the whole Xander and Buffy relationship mess that Willow has up-to-now obliviously navigated. The fact that she's cluing in is fantastic - but you are so right - her level of self-absorbtion in this instance has been high. Xander and Buffy have done a pretty good job of hiding it though, and the excuse of distance (it's not like they really have to make excuses not to hang out all of the time or anything) helps greatly in the ability to pretend that everything is a-ok. Regardless, Willow is starting to see that things are a little off and that discovery is going to hit her hard once things are fully revealed. Your 3 quart saucepan bit cracked me up - is this you?!;) ("You made my kidney hurt!!!") I think the saucepan is going to come in handy, but I also think that you might be pleasantly surprised with where things are going. Yes, yes, heartache and despair... but some good things sprinkled in as well. *You're* the best my friend - thanks very much for the great thoughts.

strangerhere I'm not sure Morgan is going to be the hero... but she's definitely not going to be the villain - that much I can promise. Thanks!

pipsberg Hi I am indeed trying to be a busy bee, alas, with the various distractions in my life it is a little hit and miss. Very glad to hear you liked both updates, and thanks very much re: the conversations (overly kind, but thanks nonetheless). Might help that I act the conversations out with my stuffed animals and cat (she really does make a great Xander) before I put words to paper. Lets me get the timing down, you see. I like your thoughts on the difference between Morgan and Willow, and how Tara sees them. That's very deep, and pretty darn cool. I think you're right, that Tara is drawn to Willow's vulnerability. I think that's one reason why they fit, you know? Tara recognizes a vulnerability that she herself has, and she wants to comfort Willow for feeling that way. Morgan and the special love-glasses... she had to see the love, you know? She's no dummy, even if Willow and Tara are too wrapped up in the baggage to clue in themselves. Thanks very much - fanfreakintabulous feedback.

histchic Thanks very much - secretly (or not, because I'm writing it down and posting it to the greater public) I sometimes wish I had demons and curses and general otherworld nastiness - how much fun! I think, sometimes, about how creative you really can get in that setting, and admit to being occasionally envious of the writers who have that freedom... but I am very, very glad to hear that you think that the gang still flows in this world. That's what I'm striving for, after all. Morgan has indeed seen the light, and I'm pretty sure she'll do the right thing. Xander... well, that will be one interesting weekend if he does get brow-beaten into coming on up. Thanks very much! (And very cool sig - yay Alison Krause!)

Lythande Hehehe - very cute! If it makes you feel any better, I pretty much post as soon as I'm done writing (no beta for me). I think I feel the "can't we just skip it" feeling every time I post - I'm as eager to write as y'all are eager to read, yet alas, real life is one demanding beeyotch. Hopefully life will chill out some soon. Thanks Jerri!

dragonfly Hello there yourself! No worries on the "late" feedback at all, just glad you're reading and enjoying. Glad you liked Morgan's appearance, and Xander... I bet his potential visit will cause much angst, but it will also hopefully force the girls to ask some important questions. Same goes with Morgan's proposed visit. I hope you enjoy the visit to Anya's (when they finally get there), and how Willow and Tara deal with the gallery aftermath. Don't worry - Willow won't chicken out of telling Shelia and Buffy - that's a definite go. And as for what Buffy would think about a W/T pairing... remains to be seen. Thanks Clau!

TinyAnt Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long! Thanks very much re: the Morgan-Michelle exchange, was very fun to cap an update that way. You ask a good question though - what did Morgan see? Michelle obviously sees things going both ways... perhaps she can fill Morgan in, if the brunette missed Tara's returning attention. If she knows, she definitely won't keep trying to woo Tara. If she doesn't... well wouldn't that be awkward! You mention evolving behavior - that in updates past you would see Willow and Tara internalizing their anger, hurt, etc, but now... well, let's just say I hope you like the update. The girls are growing, opening up and I think that will lead to some new, good interactions. A Xander visit is definitely a mixed blessing, and while you're right that him visiting after the big coming out wouldn't be bad, Tara is bound to wonder why he's coming up this weekend if Willow isn't willing to spill the beans prior to Saturday. You're right, also that nothing's going to keep Willow from coming out. She just can't back out now, it's been too long and it's so necessary for her sanity. Interesting point re: Tara's reaction being the wild card - I would think you'd be right. Thanks re: Shelia - awkward conversations, but glad they're resonating. Very cool quote pulls for Buffy! Definitely want to remember those moving forward... me thinks you're on to something. Thanks so very much - really fun feedback with lots of great thoughts!

the hero factor Another vote for Michelle - yay and yay. Morgan seeing the lovey dovey... I had to do it, I think it would be really weird if she didn't, esp with how attentive Willow was during those few minutes and Tara's reaction to Willow's little choking fit. Thanks re: Tara's thoughts - the little things make a relationship. Xander visiting would indeed be some sort of angst, and I agree that a Tara-Xander smackdown would be interesting to write (I imagine it being very awkward, confusing and stilted). Yay for Giles! I miss that old fuddy duddy - I needed to at least mention him once. I too love S5 Scoobs (hence the Xander-Buffy dynamic, which I loved from S5). Glad you enjoyed - and thanks!

IamLoui Haha well forty three million varieties of thank you! I too hope Tara won't be cripplingly hurt by future misunderstandings, and kissing not crying does sound fantastic. Thanks very much - I hope you like where this next update takes them! Enjoy!

wimpy0729 Hello there my friend - thank you very much for the rose, very sweet, and thank *you* for taking the time to say a few words - really appreciate it. Fics Anonymous huh - so that's where you've been! (And here I thought you were doing... other... things ). Things are indeed moving along, in a herky jerky, start stop way. The Ms see what I think most people not carrying around the years of baggage see - which is pure, true love. The key, now, is for the rest to get out from under all the baggage - I think we'll start seeing that this update (and of course, beyond) as Willow and Tara open up. I bow to your feedback! Thanks very much Wimpy, hope things are going well for you.

Krokador *blush* Aw shucks, thanks so much. I feel bad, sometimes, for new readers who click on page 1 thinking "huh, 56 pages - must be some smoochies in this bad boy" only to find... nothin. Hopefully the journey is fun though, too. (See, that's what I tell myself to not be too disappointed that I'm not writing faster.) No late for class though haha - the fic will still be there after class. Don't like Morgan huh... I get it - we're all pretty protective of the girls (or maybe you just don't like her because she's not likeable - that's valid too). I think Tara would ask Willow who Xander was to her if she felt like it was her place... but she doesn't, so she, er, doesn't. As they get closer though, that question will start to be asked in various, more subtle ways. Hope you enjoy the next update!

the Prey Haha - your reply made me laugh out loud - very funny. Thanks!

Kaia Wow, that is a quick read! Very cool - and thanks very much for the kind praise. Chile - I've always wanted to go there. Someday... Thanks Karinna!

kristyn Will a gay love dream suffice for a while? Cause that's definitely in the near future... well, nearer than real-life-fic smoochies. Hopefully the tension will keep you entertained in the meantime. Thanks Kristyn!

willowspiritus Yay! Glad I could help with the back to work blues... those definitely stink. Glad you like Michelle and Morgan, and I think you're assessment of Morgan is pretty spot on - her role has changed a little bit since the party, eh? Also glad you enjoyed the big tent talk - for some reason, that cracks me up. Thanks!

barnabasvamp No worries on the hiatus - just glad you're back now! Thanks very much re: the last two updates - hope you enjoy this next one!

ShallowLikeUs Thanks dani - I'm really glad you like!

behindhereyes Aw shucks Kim, thanks so much. You make me blush every time with your very (overly) generous and kind words! Hope you are well my friend.

Ressick Morgan: whacked by the clue by four! Willow and her phone... it's funny, because I know people who are way worse... just seems to be that 21st century pickle: you're either extremely annoyed by excessive phone usage or you don't even notice. At least she asked before taking the call this time... I know what you mean about the board being down and slightly freaking - I think that happened the first time I was reading lipkandy's Tempus Fugit (or Sassette's Answering Darkness, one of the two--both outstanding). Nothing sucks more instant gratification denied! Glad you were able to find an archive though. Hope you like this next one and thanks!

Katez0r Thanks very much, though, uh oh about the "ruined for other fic". :( There are so many talented writers out there, especially on this board (home of the best W/T fic on the web) - I'm sure you'll find something else you like in no time (have you checked out Triscuit7's stuff? AntigoneUnbound? JustSkipIt? pipsberg? tarawhipped? - better stop or I'll keep going and going and going - I truly could ramble off a list of talented names as long as my arm). I do appreciate the kind words though - they really mean a lot. I really enjoy working in the various details, esp the ones that tie back to the show. San Francisco... can't really ask for a better setting. Very cool about liking the music references - that's been a big, really happy surprise for me. I thought it would get annoying for you guys, but you all seem to enjoy it as much as I enjoy adding it in, so yay! Thank you, so very much - very very nice words. Hope you like the next update!

luv4willtara *blush* Er, I'm not sure how my girlfriend feels about me having a love slave named Katie, so why don't we just go with "fellow W/T admirer"? But thank you for the very lavish praise (and all of the !!! - wow!). I hope you like this next one (and sorry for the long wait - grrr life). Take care!

Darth Pacula Holy cow - thank you for the very, very kind words. Don't know what you'd have to be anxious about, your words and opinions were very cool! I thank you, very much. I'm not sure about "masterpiece" (there are a lot of other stories that I think are better) but thank you *blush* I'm so glad you're enjoying it so much. Re: the multiple plot points - so much fun to write. I try and treat the supporting characters like I treat Willow and Tara, thinking about what's going on with each in their own lives in addition to how they fit in with W/T. Buffy - she has so much history with Xander and Willow, and so many misunderstandings with Xander that its only natural that she'd be assuming the wrong things almost every time (while simultaneously picking up on... something). I think both girls are confused about how quickly the mood has shifted, and this update will definitely address that. I think it's safe to say that Morgan is a nice girl, and won't deliberately muck up anything between Willow and Tara, now that she's clued into something going on between the roomies. Thanks very much for the über-kind words Paul - what a thrill!


*on to the update....*

ETA Congratulations to all of you White Sox fans out there. Next year's winners - the San Francisco Giants Sox! (That's the new rule right? Have to have "sox" in your team nickname to win? )

[EasierSaid]

Title: Neverland
Author: EasierSaid
Feedback: Yes, please.
Spoilers: None.
Setting: AU. There is no Hellmouth, there is no slayer and no magic of the wicca variety. Just our girls and the rest of the Buffy characters living and loving in that great city by the bay, San Francisco.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Please don't sue me Mutant Enemy.
Notes: This is the longest errand EVER!!! *sigh* Sorry guys -- Anya part in a few days...

Thoughts in italics

PART 40


The girls exited out into the street, and immediately bundled up, a timely burst of cold wind greeting them as the heavy gallery door closed behind them. They turned right, and started walking toward Anya's store in silence. Tara felt petulant and sulky, and the mood didn't suit her. She hated feeling this way, hated that Willow taking a 'simple' phone call could have this effect on her, that she could devolve into such pettiness when she was absolutely powerless to control any of the circumstances that were making her so blue. That's not entirely true... Tara thought. Willow could move out, you could date Morgan, you could be a different person if you wanted to... The blonde sighed. Maybe Thursday would be the start of that new person's life... she thought, half heartedly, knowing in the pit of her stomach that a date? with Morgan this Thursday wouldn't instantaneously fix her bruised heart. She tightened her grip around her mid-section, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her blue eyes concentrated on the concrete in front of her.

Willow looked up at the building across the street, and wondered why it always seemed to be colder downtown. Part of it was the proximity to the water, which she knew meant more fog and more exposure to bad elements, however, it was almost like the tall structures, standing opposite each other stoically, created wind tunnels where the city's increasingly chilly air tortured the tourists, business people and shoppers as they pounded the pavement. I wonder if there's a website online with information about tempature disparities in urban settings...

She dropped her gaze to look at the people walking toward her, and smiled slightly in answer to their bad-weather grimaces. When nobody responded to her thin grin, the redhead sighed slightly and hazarded a quick look out of the corner of her eye at the blonde walking briskly just to her left. Tara's eyes were trained on the sidewalk passing by beneath them, her arms wrapped tightly around her body and her shoulders hunched as they made their way toward the red light up ahead. Willow looked at the bright light, and then back to her right. Something was wrong, something with the blonde and Willow pursed her lips together, concerned. "Are you okay?" the redhead asked timidly. Tension was rolling off the blonde in waves, and the redhead worried that perhaps she had said or done something at the gallery--like taking that phone after all-- that had upset her roommate.

"I'm fine."

Willow raised her eyebrows in surprise at the clipped tone of the blonde's response, and quickly swiveled her wide-eyed gaze forward. Well that was convincing, Willow thought, sarcastically, before resolving to try again. "Are you sure?" She pressed, mindful of keeping her tone gentle and relatively unobtrusive. "You seem a little..."

"I just have a lot on my mind, o-okay?" Tara replied evenly. Willow pushed her lips together contritely and nodded her head, looking away chastened and Tara's anger crumpled as she caught the redhead's lips dip into a frown in her peripheral vision. How do I tell her that I'm mad at her because she's stupid for loving Xander? The blonde thought, conflicted. She looked to the redhead briefly and cursed herself for her inability to just say what was on her mind. "Willow, you're s-stupid for loving Xander." A slight crease appeared on Tara's forehead. What right do I have to say anything about their situation? she thought, confused about exactly how much leeway this new title of 'friend' granted her in confessing her concerns to the redhead. Willow has never asked for my advice about Xander, has barely talked about their relationship at all with me in any way other than just, the odd name drop... it's not my place. She sighed again. It's not my place to tell her what I think about their relationship, about what I think she should do, even though I wish it was...

"Do you, want to talk about it?" Tara looked up in surprise at Willow's hesitant tone, the persistent redhead deciding despite the meek voice in her head advising her to just keep quiet to continue speaking. The two stopped at the red light, and Willow hoped this latest conversation invitation would inspire the blonde to rattle off a list of complaints against Morgan; preferably with Tara's unhappiness about having foolishly commiting to hanging out with the brunette topping the list.

"No," Tara answered, looking up at the big red hand across the street. "I-" She looked over to Willow and shook her head.

"Okay," Willow replied with a nod of her head as she twisted her fingers before her, now firmly convinced that a busy mind was not all that was wrong with her roommate. Tara just nodded in reply, and returned her gaze to the crossing sign across the way. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, and a few looks at the people standing around them, Willow decided to give in to her own curiosity, hoping as they crossed the street that her new line of questioning wouldn't turn Tara's mood even further sour. "So, Morgan."

Morgan? Tara looked up, surprised by Willow's topic change, and the redhead quickly continued.

"Why was she there?" The redhead internally winced. Possessive much? "I mean, not that she couldn't be there, free country and all," she quickly rambled, stepping around a crowd of people milling in front of an outdoor coffee stand as they stepped up onto the opposite corner. "Although, really the gallery is private property so technically if the didn't want her there they could...ask her to leave." Her brow quirked slightly, not sure what her point was with that ramble. She turned to the blonde and smiled sheepishly.

Tara looked to her left, thinking as they walked down the block, she's asking about Morgan? She took in the slight furrow on the redhead's forehead, and returned her testy gaze forward. "M-Michelle asked her to hang out."

"Oh." Willow said, her tone slightly surprised. "I, I didn't know they were close."

"I don't think they are..." Tara replied absently, wondering at Willow's line of questioning. After the party, and even after cake, she had assumed Willow's interest in her friends was minimal at best. Shaking it off, she looked to Willow and then the ground before them. "They just, decided to hang out, I guess."

Willow paused, noticing once again that they were approaching another red light. "She looked nice." The redhead watched closely as Tara nodded, and Willow deflated a bit. You were supposed to disagree, she mentally grumbled. Or at least, not agree. Willow looked up and summoned all of her courage to continue. "So you guys are going to hang out?"

"T-Thursday," Tara replied, the slight nod of her head punctuating the single word and making it seem more real.

"Oh." Willow said, with a single bob of her head. "That's..." she searched for a neutral word. "...neat."

Tara glanced over to her roommate, and then back to the crowd passing on the street, her arms still wrapped tightly around her middle. "She w-wants me to look at her paintings, to help decide what to send to L.A."

"You'd be good at that," Willow said quickly. "I mean, I'm guessing you would be, because you're like, art... girl." Tara looked over at the redhead curiously, and Willow blushed. 'Art girl'? Ugh. The redhead quickly recovered with another question. "She asked you today?" She arched her eyebrows, expectantly, a hopeful smile on her lips.

Tara nodded, her brow slightly crinkling. Willow sure seemed interested in her conversation with Morgan. Is this just polite conversation? "She um, she called this weekend, but I just, didn't get the message." The girls came to stop behind a group waiting for the crossing signal to change. "I um, I f-forget to check my cell phone sometimes, when I'm home."

"Bummer," Willow said, before looking up, wide-eyed and quickly correcting her slightly peevish tone. "I mean, that sucks that you missed the call." Tara shrugged.

The redhead noticed the unenthusiastic shrug and her heart fluttered. She doesn't seem to in to this dat- meeting, meeting. "Not really looking forward to it?" She asked.

"No," Tara replied, snapping her head around to meeting Willow's hopeful gaze. "I mean, I am, looking forward to it?" She nodded without breaking eye contact, hoping her attempt to convince Willow of her sincere interest would help convince herself. I *am* looking forward to it, right?

"Yeah?" Willow asked, her disappointed voice not quite as robust as she'd like. You just had to ask...

"Do I not seem like I am?" Tara asked self-consciously, slightly annoyed at Willow's half-articulated observations.

"No, I- I, don't know..." Willow trailed off, her heart sinking into her stomach. "I guess."

Tara nodded; the redhead's face was so open, her brow furrowed adorably as she waited for the blonde to continue. Why does she have to be so adorable? Tara thought, frustrated and angered by her swirling emotions. "It should be fun, to have someone around who I can talk about art with."

"Right," Willow said, ducking her head, Tara's words stinging her slightly. Because, that's very much not me...

Tara sighed, realizing with a pang of guilt what she had said, how it might have sounded, her eyes trained on the stranger's royal blue jacket before her so intently that she didn't notice the redhead's shoulders sag to her left. The blonde didn't really care about talking about art; it wasn't like she sat around wishing that there was someone around she could talk oil paint composition with... instead, Tara realized with clarity that she had said what she said because talking about art was not something she did with Willow; not on a regular basis, and not as equals. Isn't that what she needed, to do things that she and Willow couldn't do? Like talk about art, date, kiss? Tara hazarded another look at Willow, the redhead standing innocently on the corner waiting for the light to change, and her own shoulders sagged. Petty and petulant, Tara...

The blonde sighed again and looked to the cars passing slowly in traffic. Her words were so similar to three years earlier, when stung by Willow's emphatic denigration of their shared day in the park, the blonde had described her ideal woman to the redhead; basically, everything she knew Willow not to be. Olive skin, athletic, artistic... the anti-Willow. It had been so childish, a 'see, i don't need you' moment, a chance to hurt Willow like Willow had hurt her the previous night, and her remembrance of both evenings and her juvenile behavior still made her feel ashamed. The same shame she felt creeping into her bones now. Petty and petulant, Tara...

"I get it," Willow said, trying to sound supportive and not jealous, two emotions that felt completely foreign to her heart at the moment. "It's nice," she continued, around the lump in her throat, as the light changed and they crossed, stopping as they reached the other side so as to cross again on the opposite light. "Sometimes, it's nice to talk to someone who really gets you." Someone unlike, oh, say for instance, me, the redhead tacked on internally, looking up at the building across from them.

Tara frowned slightly at Willow's words. "Get me"? Morgan didn't really get her; sure, she might understand about the paintings, but... The way Willow made it sound, it just, sounded so much more intimate, so much *more* than she wanted from the encounter. I just want to look at some paintings, think about something other than Willow for one afternoon... What Willow was describing sounded so serious, so visceral... so not how I feel when I'm around Morgan... Tara's brow crumpled in confusion. Is that feeling even something that can come with time?

The blonde looked to her right, away from her roommate and took in the sounds around her; the cars passing, music blasting, and people chatting both to each other and into their phones. Compared to the busy din surrounding them, the two girls stood quietly, lost in their own thoughts. Willow looked to her right again, at Tara's closed off form and couldn't help but feel like whatever Tara was feeling—frustration, anger, hurt—was a result of her actions. She wasn't like this before the gallery, before... "I'm sorry, about the phone..."

The blonde looked up at Willow briefly, and then back down. Xander... she thought, wishing she could go one day with Willow without thinking about that name. "It's okay," Tara said, her tone dull. "You had to take it."

Willow opened her mouth to disagree, to point out that it was Tara who had encouraged her to take the call, but quickly thought better of it as the light changed and Tara quickly stepped into the street. Willow took a quick step to catch up, and walked quietly at the blonde's side for a few yards, the redhead wringing her hands the whole time. Okay, something is definitely wrong... she internally confirmed, glancing again at the blonde's profile. She told me to take the call, didn't she? Willow looked down at her hands, and then back up. How do I fix whatever this is?

"Xander got a new job." Tara looked up, and Willow smiled slightly as they stepped up onto the sidewalk, the redhead hoping that a little innocuous conversation might improve the blonde's mood. "I mean, it's the same job, construction, just a new position, more responsibility." Tara paid attention to this new development; Willow never talked about Xander like this, recounting her conversations with the man in detail. Was the redhead opening up? "It's a good promotion, more administrative stuff, less nailing things." Willow's brow furrowed and she looked up at her roommate, an embarrassed smile pulling at her lips. "And by 'things' I mean nails." Tara nodded quietly, and Willow continued. "Kinda, weird," she said, as they walked around a man chatting on a cell. "Hearing about him having this grown up life. But, it's good, you know?"

Tara just nodded, slightly amazed. Moments ago, her imagination was running wild as she wondered what Willow and Xander discussed, and now, here was the redhead actually telling her. Is she going to talk about Friday? About what happened between them that made her cry? The blonde looked over to the redhead with baited breath.

"It's much better than when he used to sell Boost Bars out of his parent's basement," the redhead continued on, oblivious. "Or, oh! When he worked at the Hot Dog on the Stick." Willow frowned slightly. "Although, I do miss the free hot dogs on sticks." Tara's eyebrows raised in amusement and the redhead continued on, blithely. "There was one weird thing though..."

Here goes? the blonde thought, pursing her lips slightly, bracing for whatever Willow was about to share.

"He said he wanted me to tell Buffy about the promotion." Tara's brow knit, the redhead's statement completely unexpected, and when she looked over to Willow she saw a similar, confused crease in Willow's brow. "I mean, not that I mind," the redhead quickly amended. "It's just weird cause, hello, his great news, you'd think he'd want to brag a little." She shook her head slightly, looking over at the blonde and broaching the next subject carefully. "Buffy hasn't, you know, said anything, has she, about them fighting or anything?"

"Has Buffy--" The blonde's mind quickly cycled through a whole host of unpleasant memories of Buffy fighting with the dark-haired man. She turned to Willow and simply shrugged. I guess she really doesn't know about them, t-their fighting... Tara watched as Willow sighed and nodded slightly, accepting the blonde's silent shrug. Tara sighed slightly at Willow's quiet acquiescence. It wasn't her place to get involved in that drama under any circumstance, just like it wasn't her business to interfer with Willow and Xander unless the redhead asked. She looked back up at her roommate.

"Xander didn't mention anything..." the redhead trailed off quietly, before quickly looking up and smiling. "I'm probably just being overactive imagination girl."

"Maybe you should t-talk to Buffy," Tara offered sympathetically with a slight, encouraging bob of her head.

"Yeah..." Willow said, her brow creasing again. She looked at Tara and then back to the path in front of them. It seemed like maybe the blonde knew more than she was letting on; talk to Buffy... She opened her mouth to ask about the blonde's advice, and then quickly thought better of it. Better to not involve Tara in her friends' business. She smiled quickly at the blonde again, and then trained her eyes on the tall building across the street.

Tara took a deep breath, and looked over to the redhead to her left. The girl was looking around at the buildings, taking in the crowd as it surged in another direction across the street. The blonde noticed the thoughtful look on the redhead's face, and the suspense of what else happened between Willow and Xander on the phone moments earlier finally got to her. They only talked about work stuff? The redhead's relatively serene demeanor certainly suggested that some sort of apology was offered and accepted; I mean, they did fight on Friday, right? The blonde took another deep breath, and asked, "things are o-okay with you, with him, I mean?"

The redhead looked over at the blonde, slightly surprised by the question. "Yeah," she replied simply, no sign of the distress or ritual avoidance Tara expected to see. "I mean, still annoyed that he didn't call me all weekend but it's no big, he had a good, promotion-related reason." Willow smiled brightly, not a care in the world, and only after a long moment did she notice Tara's lack of reply. "Why?"

"N-No reason," Tara replied, trying to rein in her fluctuating emotions. They had fought, Tara was sure of it, and yet here, now, Willow was acting as if nothing had happened at all. When Tara didn't continue speaking, Willow frowned.

"What?" The redhead prodded. Tara looked at Willow and then back forward, shaking her head slightly when she couldn't find the words to reply. The redhead's brow furrowed. "Tara, if--"

"It's just, F-Friday..." The blonde paused as she saw Willow blush brightly, worrying that she was overstepping, invading the redhead's privacy, yet plowing ahead beside herself. "Things seemed... b-bad, Friday."

"Oh," Willow answered, panic and confusion surging up from her stomach. What does she mean, "things seemed bad". Okay, she saw me crying but... is that all she's talking about? The redhead looked up, quickly, and proceeded cautiously as they started to cross another street. "Things weren't really, bad, with him on Friday." Tara's eyebrows arched up. Willow saw the incredulous look and stopped in the street, the blood running from her face. Okay, *what* did she hear?! When Tara stopped, a step ahead, Willow just spit out, "Tara, what did you hear?"

Tara looked over her shoulder to find Willow standing still steps from the corner in the street. The blonde stepped back to her roommate and grabbed her jacket, pulling her to the corner and out of the intersection as the light changed and cars started to stream by. Willow's feet seemed to sink into the concrete as her roommate pulled her out of the crowd of people negotiating the cramped sidewalk, and Tara sighed at the palpable look of panic and humiliation on Willow's face. The redhead did nothing other than stare at the blonde in confusion as they stopped a foot way from the building on the corner. "I, I d-didn't hear anything," Tara stammered. Wasn't that what I said Friday? And again Saturday at cake? "I, j-just. You, you g-guys sounded like... you were fighting. You s-sounded angry, and, hurt."

"Didn't hear anything..." Willow took a deep breath, her mind spinning, barely reassured by the blonde's words. She looked up at the girl before her, the redhead opening her mouth and then closing it again, as she willed her mind to organize her words. She took a calming breath, looked up and spoke carefully. "I was, angry," she replied. "And hurt, from something... earlier. We, he and I just, we disagree on some things, and I sort, brought one of those things up, and just, I had a lot on my mind and when we started to disagree things sort of... spiraled... but, I wasn't mad at him, I just... I guess, sounded that way." Tara thought back to how raw Willow's voice sounded the night of the party, how desperate and angry, how fragile and crushed she sounded on the phone and her heart sunk at Willow's careful denial of the obvious truth. "I was mad about other things, not him."

Tara's brow quirked. She looked up, confused. The redhead had been mad at him, the blonde was sure of it, she had heard Willow's side of the conversation, "This isn't some high school crush Xander... This is, love, real, true love and and I can't just pretend that I don't feel it" But what if that was just the end of a really bad disagreement, bonus words tacked on to hurt him because she was frustrated and angry about something else entirely. What if Willow... Tara caught the redhead's eye. "Were you mad at me?" Willow's face went blank, and the blonde plowed on, her cheeks burning as the new thought took root. "Because I left you alone?" Tara swallowed hard. Oh god, oh god, oh god.... "Because I didn't spend all of my time with you at the party, b-because I ignored you?"

"Ignored" me... "No," Willow said meekly. Tara's eyebrows launched to her hairline and Willow stammered as Tara's disbelief registered across her face, the redhead letting out a long breath as her words spilled out of her mouth. "No, I- I told you earlier, it was just a different night than I expected." Seeing the look on Tara's face, she continued, trying to reassure the girl. "But I wasn't mad at you. I- I know you had, other, things to do that night."

Other things. Tara thought confused. "So you were mad..." she asked again, her brow furrowed.

"No, not mad. I just..." Willow shook her head, frustrated and surprised that they were having this conversation on the street as random people passed, her denials appearing as puffs of steam in the cold air filling the space between them. "I," she struggled, unable to fully explain. "The party was hard for me," she admitted, sheepishly. Before Tara could ask, Willow quickly continued. "I was, I don't know, frustrated? I, I just... I didn't fit in, don't, usually, fit in, at parties and there I was, the only engineer with all those artists and PR people, and I," she took a deep breath. "I didn't really, get, why you invited me."

"Why I invited you?" Tara felt faint from confusion, the blood in her body rushing to her over-active mind.

"I just mean, it was sort of obvious that you were there, for Morgan," Willow said, her eyes quirking as she twisted her fingers before her. "That you were on a date."

"A--" A *date*?! "I wasn't--" Tara replied, shocked. "I- I w-wasn't--"

"I just, felt like you wanted me to be, like, Willow the wingwoman?" Willow quickly explained. "Or, you know, your fallback if things with Morgan didn't work out?"

"That is n-not--" Tara stumbled, flabberghasted. "I, I-" the blonde stopped speaking abruptly, looking down at the space between them. Is that what Willow thinks of me, that I'm-- "Buffy." Willow looked surprised. "I mean, B-Buffy, does that, not- I- I invited you b-because I thought w-we'd have fun, that you'd, have fun. I told you, Friday, Saturday..." The blonde shook her head, her face the picture of abject abashment. "I, I w-wouldn't have spent so much time with her if you hadn't have been on the phone."

"I know-" Willow said contritely. So she was mad about the phone Friday, even though she said it had been no big deal.

"And the rest of the time, you looked happy, so I didn't..."

"And, I should have, been having fun-- that's what Xander was trying to tell me on the phone--" Willow shook her head, Tara's face still creased with confusion. "I should have tried to fit in, and I didn't--"

"You and X-Xander were fighting about that?" Tara asked, not quite believing the redhead's words.

"Yes-- No," Willow sighed in frustration, defeated. This wasn't how she saw things today going; how did they even get on this topic? "Tara, we were supposed to have fun today," the redhead pleaded. "You know, two roomies, out on the town, playing hooky, getting paint. We should be happy, I mean, look at all of these happy people." The girls looked around, noticing the scowls on the passerbyer's faces. "Well, except, for the people who are going to work..." Willow amended, sheepishly looking around, "or, the ones that are cold." She looked back up at Tara. "Can't we just have fun? No more bad talk? Friday was... stupid, and embarrassing, and I'd really, really like to forget it and just... have fun." When Tara didn't reply, Willow sighed and continued. "I'm a spaz." The blonde's brow furrowed, and the redhead continued. "I just, I overthink things sometimes and I get all worked up and combined with the spaziness that is me I just, it's just, bad and I'm sorry."

Tara swallowed before saying, softly. "You're not a spaz."

"Yes, I am," Willow said with a nod of her head and nervous chuckle.

"Willow-"

"I wasn't mad, at you, Friday," the redhead quickly confessed. "Just confused, and stupid. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," Tara said defensively, deflating slightly. "I w-was the one that--"

"No, you didn't do anything but have fun with your friends and I'm sorry that I ruined your night."

"You didn't ruin my night," the blonde reassured quietly. She quirked her brow and evaluated the girl shifting nervously across from her. She looked so vulnerable, embarrassed and wounded. Tara shook her head slightly. "A-Are," she sighed, not sure about the question she was about to ask. "A-Are y-you sure--?"

"I'm positive," Willow interrupted, sure that Tara was asking if she was sure she wasn't mad.

"You d-don't even know what I was going to ask..." the blonde smiled slightly, gently reproaching her roommate for interrupting.

"I'm sorry," the redhead said softly, her total focus on the woman she loved.

"A-Are you sure you're not mad?" The blonde's brow wrinkled, her eyes asking for an honest answer.

"Positive," Willow said with a knowing smile. Tara nodded her head slightly in reply and the redhead's brow quirked slightly. Willow-comforter... "I've sort of, had a lot on my mind lately, been a little overwhelmed, by some things..." Tara looked up, and met Willow's open gaze. "Sort of making me act a little insane."

"What sort of things?" The blonde asked, watching as the green eyes met her gaze and quickly dart away.

"Life things," Willow replied ruefully with a slight, self-deprecating chuckle as she kicked at the sidewalk before her. Tara nodded, noticing again how exposed and small the redhead looked. Willow looked up in surprise as Tara reached out and pulled the redhead toward her with a tug on her jacket, a pack of gabbing girls narrowly missing running Willow over. The redhead smiled appreciatively, and noticed with a soft smile how much warmer she felt standing so close to Tara. "I don't think this is what you had in mind when you said yes to me tagging along last night..."

"No," Tara replied, ducking her head slightly. "But I'm g-glad we talked."

"Me too," Willow said with a definitive head nod. "I just want to have fun with you." She looked up and met Tara's patient gaze. "The things that I'm overthinking, sometimes they sort of, disappear when we're together, and I like that."

"Me too," Tara said softly. "I mean, glad that they disappear for you." She tugged on Willow's arm again, and they started walking. After a few steps, Tara stepped closer to the redhead, the two girl's arms brushed together lightly as they walked. "Do you, d-do you want to talk, about it? The 'life things'?" The blonde asked hopefully.

Willow looked up at her roommate, and then away. "Not really." Tara nodded, a little disappointed, but respecting the redhead's reticence. "I just... I have a lot on my mind, things are sort of busy up here," she said, tapping her temple. "My mom's visit, Buffy coming home... just adds up. Kind of overwhelming, actually."

Buffy? Tara frowned slightly. "You um, you're overwhelmed by Buffy?"

"No," Willow said, blushing. "Just... it's complicated," the redhead sighed. Can't really go there...not yet. "Sort of why I asked Xander to come up this weekend. Need a little, moral, support."

"Xander's coming here this weekend?" Tara asked, surprised, her step faltering slightly at the news.

"I hope," Willow said, wondering if the blonde's slight misstep was on account of a particularly uneven patch of sidewalk. "Probably not though..." she added, her voice carrying the full weight of her pessimism. "He didn't want to, even though I told him he didn't have to sleep on our couch or anything." Tara's first thought was Willow's bed, before the redhead continued. "I mean, he could stay at Buffy's house, hang out..." Willow paused. "It would be really nice to have him here. I really miss him, you know?"

Tara could only nod. What the hell is going on... she thought. Willow needs Xander for moral support because she's going to see her mom and Buffy? As far as Tara knew, Willow's relationship with her mom was great, and Buffy... sure, they had their difficulties, but why on earth would Willow feel overwhelmed by Buffy, her best friend? Because Buffy disapproved of her relationship with Xander? Was her relationship with Xander less one-sided than Buffy and her and thought? But then, if that was the case, wouldn't Xander want to come up for the weekend? Instead, it seemed like he was leaving her to deal with whatever was overwhelming her on her own... which was definitely in keeping with Tara's original opinion of him, that he was a supreme jerk and not at all supportive... but Willow was acting as if his absence was medicine; not at all tasty but very necessary and ultimately the best for her. "Are things um, are things okay, with your mom?" Tara finally asked, curiosity and confusion getting the best of her.

"Yeah," Willow replied with a nod of her head, hoping her voice seemed strong, unconflicted. "She just.... She's hard to please, sometimes."

"She'd be crazy to not be pleased with you."

The redhead turned and shot a beaming smile at her roommate. "Thanks," Willow said, her heart fluttering at Tara's confidence in her.

"N-No problem," Tara replied, her own heart wildly beating in her chest at Willow's sparkling smile.

A drop of rain hit Willow's face, and she looked up at the dark sky with a slight frown. "I can't believe I forgot the umbrella in the car..."

Tara looked up at the sky in response, and then to her roommate. "Do you need to go get it?"

Willow looked up again, her lips curling slightly into a frown, and after a short evaluative check, turned to the blonde. "Are we going to be at Anya's long?"

"No," Tara said with a shake of her head. Definitely not; she needed to go home as soon as possible, retreat to the sanctuary of her studio and think back on everything that had happened since leaving the apartment almost an hour earlier.

Willow nodded, and again looked back to the sky. After another evaluative glance, she looked to the girl who held her heart. With a slight smile, she said "we should be okay."

Tara smiled, and stopped, Willow looking up, realizing with a surge of nervousness and anxiety that they had reached their destination. "Remember," Tara said softly, "you don't have to talk to her." The blonde's brow arched, and the redhead nodded.

"Okay," Willow said with a deep breath.

"Ready?"

"Sure?"

Tara smiled, and the two girls entered the store.

[Leafsdude]

Wooo! And hooo! A new update! What a perfect birthday present, even if it's 2 days after.

Before I get into anything else, I have to say, another extremely funny ending to a chapter. "Remember, you don't have to talk to her."

Good to see Tara thinking about things than just coming to conclusions like she has in the past. I guess it's kind of hard to come to conclusion when the truth is painted out so clearly (I'm sure some of the passer-by's got what was going on between them and Buffy/Xander ), but it's gonna take Tara a while to see it.

I think at this point, Willow knows there's something wrong between Buffy and Xander, but just doesn't want to admit it just yet. Hopefully the coming out doesn't get in the way, or even helps clear things up between the two (which it should, but who knows, with your surprising twists and stuff ).

I think at this point, Willow's prepped Tara enough that, if Xander does come up, it won't be accusations and fingerpointing by Tara, but rather questions and confusion. Though again, with the twists you think up of, I'm left to just sit and wait.

It seems like neither are overly happy and neither are overly depressed, which is as close to a good ending as we've had so far.

One last thing before I go (got people waiting in the chat for me ). I must say, Willow's damage control with the conversation on the Friday phone call was "Italian Pizza Guy Finger Kiss" (Hereby known as IPGFK) perfect.

"Friday was...stupid, and embarrassing, and I'd really, really like to forget it and just... have fun."

So aww worthy.

Be waiting for the next update with many emotions. Can't wait for Anya's inappropriate but timely comments.

PS. sarejester: That's how the ball bounces.

[sarejester]

lol THATS NOT FAIR!!
I acually read the update before replying.....ah well best cheater wins,

I am absoultly in love with this fic, when you finish it I would love to print the whole thing out and re-read it again and again and again,

I must admit I have a love\hate relationship with angst and this fic has been nothing but...

you know how they say to pull of a plaster fast so it doent hurt...you have pulled the plaster so amazingly slowly, I hate the angst because im inpatient but its such a goooooooodddd story that i cant help but read and wait,

oh good lord let these two get together, they desurve it after so. much. angst.

eargerly awaiting more torture,
Sarah

[Foomatic]

Your updates are the sweetest kind of torture. But oh do we kittens love to subject ourselves to your torment.

Anywho, does anyone else just wanna crawl into your screen and smack these two upside the head already? I don't know who's more tortured: them, or the people reading about them. Nevertheless, great update. Seems like my lucky day, all my favorite fics are being updated!

[UnderTheirSpell]

O...M...G !!!

*tackles anyone and everyone between myself and the update*

MAKE WAY!!!


...a few minutes later...

*smiles sheepishly while helping everyone up and dusting them off*
Uh, sorry - my bad...heh

- talk about a beautiful, fantabulous, marvelicious ending to a COMPLETELY shit-ass day. Heather - DOOD- you just redeemed the entire last 15 hours...hell -WEEK - in one fell swoop. You rock like Stonehenge!

Alas, bedtime draws nigh, so not much time for drawn-out fb (you'll get volumes of that from the other kittens, anyway) but I just had to tell you how cautiously- optimistically happy their convo in the middle of the street makes me. Sounds like both of our beloved girls are finally getting at least a couple of splinters from the clue-by-four. Talks like this, no matter how nerve-wracking and stilted they may be can only lead to eventual goodness of the naked, gay variety.

Now, that said - PLEASE don't make us poor slavish kittens wait for weeks and months on end to actually witness said naked, gay goodness. Tell yer new honey that we need you too!

[Krokador]

Update!!!! Yay it's an update! And it's kinda really pretty much late too.

It's great that they kinda sorted the things about friday night. But the whole thing is... kinda confusing. Poor girls, not knowing what they feel for each other. I really enjoyed this update keep 'em coming! (sleeeeep now... )

[Marilda]

Oh my! What an awesome update. Phenomenal even. Yes, there was angst, but things are getting discovered, incorrect assumptions are being corrected and well okay, I see the finish line. Granted, I'm having to sit on the shoulders of a giant and use binoculars, but I see it!

Yeah for this story and kudos to you for making it so damn wonderful. And I think I too will print this out when it's all finished and bound it or something, to read over and over again. It's THAT good.

Update soon?

[dorksrcool]

When I saw there was an update to Neverland I actually said out loud, to myself, "Yes! An update to Neverland!" My cats kinda looked at me funny, but oh well.

I'm in love with this fic. I want to marry this fic. It's such a tangled web you weave, one can't help but be hooked. It's nice to finally see that things are starting to be resolved.

Thanks so much for the update! I'll be waiting patiently (or not) for the next one. Oh yeah, and I really liked this line,

Willow shook her head, frustrated and surprised that they were having this conversation on the street as random people passed, her denials appearing as puffs of steam in the cold air filling the space between them.

Brilliant!

[histchic]

YOU UPDATED! You, you, you updated! Praise the Muses!

Wow. I'm so glad you updated I'm not even upset at the mild angst of them still in the dark.

*takes a moment and remembers how to breathe*

Ok, now I can give proper coherent feedback.

I think Tara is starting to catch on that the puzzle pieces you shove together aren't always the ones that fit, though you can't blame her for making fairly logical assumptions(is there anything logical about the realm of love?). Also, the only way I could even see Morgan using this knowledge of Tara and Willow being into each other is if she thought she had a stake in Tara(bad wording I know, neither is one for the timber, so now I'll just add bad pun to the list). If she thought she did, she would have been gunning for Tara more than she already was at the party.

[blockquote]Tara could only nod. What the hell is going on... she thought. Willow needs Xander for moral support because she's going to see her mom and Buffy? As far as Tara knew, Willow's relationship with her mom was great, and Buffy... sure, they had their difficulties, but why on earth would Willow feel overwhelmed by Buffy, her best friend? Because Buffy disapproved of her relationship with Xander? Was her relationship with Xander less one-sided than Buffy and her and thought? But then, if that was the case, wouldn't Xander want to come up for the weekend? Instead, it seemed like he was leaving her to deal with whatever was overwhelming her on her own... which was definitely in keeping with Tara's original opinion of him, that he was a supreme jerk and not at all supportive... but Willow was acting as if his absence was medicine; not at all tasty but very necessary and ultimately the best for her. [/blockquote]

Tara is right on the cusp of figuring it out, but I don't think she trusts herself to even explore the possibility mentally after everything that's happened.

I loved Willow's exposition on the temperature of downtown. However, it's a pattern I've noticed in her basic character from canon. She's an escapist. By that term I mean that she uses her brain as a hiding place from the troubles of real life, i.e. diving into homework to avoid painful social interaction in high school, diving into her relationship with Tara, diving into the majicks to avoid the pain of Tara's death. However, I also think the ill-fitting puzzle peices will begin her quest for knowledge, eventually bringing the whole story to light. (Read: I trust you for a happy ending)

So anyway, I'm stoked that you updated and this is one happy kitten. Glad you like the sig, the one before this was...offstandish to say the least.

Toodles, take care.

[Darth Pacula]

G'day, Heather.

Well, this is cool. I post my first feedback to your masterpiece (yes it is a masterpiece, Heather, so stow that false modesty missy), and low and behold, an update appears! Color me chuffed!

Well, Tara starts off in the definate dumps, now doesn't she. It's sad how one little act on Willow's part can just instantly shatter her previous good mood. Still, I suppose it illustrates the fact that it's usually the people we love that possess the greatest potential to hurt us.

Equally sad are Tara's ruminations that what she believes is a hopeless love for Willow is holding her back from attaining any kind of true happiness. But really, it's futile thinking that making Willow move out will be of any help. I mean, come on, she's been in love with Willow for what ,,, three years now? Making her go away is just going to make it easier for Tara to hide from her feelings, to lie to herself, and that's not especially conducive to a life chock full of happiness.

"It should be fun, to have someone around who I can talk about art with."

"Right," Willow said, ducking her head, Tara's words stinging her slightly. Because, that's very much not me...

Argh! Damn it! They are just both so vunerable to the slightest word from each other, aren't they? Just because they won't just come clean and tell each other how they feel! Sure, they both have their valid reasons, but since we know better, it's deliciously agonizing.

Once again, that mythical 'Day in the Park' raises it's head. Are you ever going to dish the goods on everything that happened that day? C'mon Heather, come clean. You're getting your kicks from torturing us, aren't you?

And what's with this whole Willow denigrating it thing? So it wasn't the most perfect day in their life's that it's been made out to be so far? Did Willow spaz and totally freak out when she finally realized she was gay and in love with Tara, and say something she didn't mean in a panic?

Damn it, Willow! You try to cheer Tara up, which is all good and proper, but then you screw it up by saying one of the worst things possible! Though, I suppose if Willow actually manages to recognize Tara's dislike of Xander, she might start so digging to find out why. Which could lead to a whole clearing of the air thing, which could lead to the kisses and gay love part we're all waiting for. Kind of makes me hope Xander does turn up for the weekend. Some person-to-person interaction between him and Tara could be a catalyst for some much needed change.

I have to wonder; how much of Willow's ignorance of the tension between Xander and Buffy is intentional, albeit subconscious? Does that make any sense? Ah, bugger it, I'm running with it anyway. Okay, so this has been going on for what ... three years too? And between her two best friends? I can't see Willow being that dense. Maybe she's subconsciously avoiding the issue because she doesn't want to get in the middle.

Yay! Tara's finally beginning to notice some inconsistencies with the way she views Willow and Xander's relationship, with the way that Willow acts. Maybe this will encourage some digging on her part? Leading again to the kisses and gay love?

Finally, they are starting to share some more of their feelings! Thank god for that!

We should be happy, I mean, look at all of these happy people." The girls looked around, noticing the scowls on the passerbye's faces. "Well, except, for the people who are going to work..." Willow amended, sheepishly looking around, "or, the ones that are cold."

I loved that bit. But I have to wonder; isn't everyone cold, Willow? Or did I miss the mention of the cheerful naked jogger?

To sum up, Heather, another marvelous update. Thanks a bunch for posting it.

Notes: This is the longest errand EVER!!! *sigh* Sorry guys -- Anya part in a few days...

Can we hold you to that, Heather, or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

Bye for now,
Paul.

P.S. I actually wrote this twice. The first time I accidentally wiped the whole thing out, after spending half an hour writing it. How's that for stubborn persistance?

[grimlock72]

Interesting... Willow can't get Tara to talk about whats troubling her, but the other way around works fine Still lots of akward moments in their talks of course, tends to happen when you want to keep secrets yet still talk. Good thing that Tara seems to realise she might have drawn the wrong conclusions on some occasions.

On the other hand, if Tara just told Xander of and said he wasn't worthy of Willow... well that would solve all misconceptions in one quick swoop Maybe it's just that some writer wants this even more drawn out ?? Naaaaah.... .

Willow comes across as rather fragile little bird (like this line: "The things that I'm overthinking, sometimes they sort of, disappear when we're together, and I like that.", whom Tara probably wont mind protecting. That is mainly based on Tara's observations though, hardly impartial

I'll need to re-read all the Neverland attraction-park parts, but I think Tara came out to Willow and Willow sort of panicked and said some weird/wrong things. Next day Tara described her ideal woman as pretty much everything Willow couldn't ever be, and behold the 3 year gap was born....

Time goes real slow in those updates, which matches the feelings of both Willow and Tara... for them it's agonizing slow as well . Maybe Anya can shake them both up a bit.

Grimmy

[spells42]

I'll add my YAY, YOU UPDATED!! to all the above.

Neverland is a great fic. Your W & T are very engaging, and very frustrating - I wish they'd TALK already! You do the hesitant, embarassed, frustrated dialogue b/w them so well. Love the setting, and the way the story is unfolding. Please keep it up.

I, like Tara, think they'd be better occupied

Isn't that what she needed, to do things that she and Willow couldn't do? Like talk about art, date, kiss?

Anne

[caz]

Wow - this update was wonderful!

My heart was bleeding for Willow. She was talking to Tara and almost explaining her problems without giving too much away, although the clues are all there. Hopefully, Anya will say something to Tara that will make her examine her and Willow's conversation a bit more.

Hallelujah - Tara has finally clicked on that Willow and Xander's relationship is not what Buffy has led her to believe. I think that Buffy has done more harm than good by telling Tara about Willow and Xander - maybe she should keep her mouth shut in future.

Both of our girls opened up in this update, only good can come from that I think.

Can't wait for the next update.

Caz

[Reallybigpineapple]

Greetings, Oh Mistress of Pain!
I really loved this chapter... I found that I was in no hurry to get to Anya's at all... I think that your greatest talent might be to make the perfectly mundane totally riveting... I really like how you describe the weather and use it as a backdrop for their interaction. Storms and dark rainclouds sort of makes me go: "Hmm, wonder if there'll be a Neverland update soon?" nowadays...
Also, it's so exciting that the ice seems to be gradually melting. There was a true sense of upheaval about their conversation, like the truth was trying to get out, finally... It's a bittersweet feeling: the end of pain, but also closer to the end of the story...
Will get right on the New Pornographers! Neko rules. If me and my gal doesn't make it, Neko and I are totally getting married. I think I might let her and Alison Krauss move into my house and just be my entertainment...
Can't wait for the weekend ahead! The fictive weekend, that is...
Keep hurting us...
Martina

[Emms]

*does a happy, little "Neverland-update" dance* *tipping my cup in celebration* (A celebration which is only slightly dampened by the certainty I feel, that Willow and Tara are never going to kiss....)

*scampers off to read update*

xoxo
Emms

[watty]

If you could have an update for any fic on the board which one would that be? (may be not word for word, but close enough, eh?)

d'uh, H, you had to ask?

That's all I want to say now. May more later. I need to recover.
[br]

[tarebear]

heather!

when i saw your name in the update thread, my heart started thumping and it actually never stopped thumping til beyond the time i finished part 40... you just absolutely made my day!

you really know how to captivate readers despite the amount of angst involoved in this story... i was one of those readers who used stay away from angsty stories like the plague, but when i finally got the courage and why-the-frilly-heck-not attitude and began reading them, particularly your story, i have found that i enjoy the slow torture, that i love to subject myself to the agony and the pain ( i think that sounded a little kinkier than i intended )... you are indeed the:

Mistress of Pain

like martina said, and all of us can't seem to stay away... like a moth to a flame. i guess i'm not the only one who likes the slow torture hehe

anyways, i'm glad the gray clouds of doubt and mis-assumptions are slowly unfolding and a ray of light shining through (well slowly but surely at least!) for our beloved girls... they really need to talk... one of them just needs to spit out what's really on her mind and not worry about the consequences, but alas they cannot because they're too afraid of getting hurt or worse, hated... so they just tiptoe around each other secretly in-love and too wrapped up in their own inner turmoil to notice the other's slightest signal of reciprocated feelings. SIGH! but at least their getting there... lots of awkwardness still but at least they're opening up a bit more, so woo and hoo for that. i can faintly see the brilliant light at their tunnel (or it may be that i left the light on in the bathroom again lol <--sorry lame joke )...

Anywho, does anyone else just wanna crawl into your screen and smack these two upside the head already?

count me in foo! anytime you need a hand, i'm the girl *flexes biceps to show how much damage her smack could invoke*

i so love EVERYTHING about this chapter and can't wait to read on what Anya has to say... i'm sure she's going to make them blush with her inappropriate but truthful retorts hehe .

cant wait! cant wait! cant wait! *while doing own version of snoopy dance*


ces

p.s. can't wait!

[arwen276]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for updating!!

Honestly I've been following this fic for so long, that I still need my fix from time to time (because we can't ask for much, what with real life and everything else!)

The little add you put in the update thread, cracked me up, I mean are we EVER gonna get to Anya's shop? and from there, will we ever get to the fated weekend? or that thursday? or meeting Buffy? and Xander? and THE TALK with mummy Rosenberg, and the drama? and then the TALK with Tara?

So many events, so little updates (I hope you're not offended, I by no means aim to do so!AU CONTRAIRE MON AMIE!!)
I just read from previous posts, that updates are awaited like birthday gifts. well they should be... this is by far my favorite ongoing fic, and I'm sure many on the board share my opinion.

so thank you again, and hopefully we'll get another one soon!!

Cheers
~Arwen

[Ressick]

Oh gods, what a wonderful update. Things are finally starting to sort out, a little. I almost thought Willow was going to just come out with it (pun intended) at points. And of course I can't wait to see what complications visiting with Anya brings. Hopefully a large dose of clue-by-4, since Anya is so good at that.

Thanks for posting this today. Not only is it an excellent update, as usual, but it came in the midst of a really crappy day for me, and just lightened things up. I so very much love this story.

[Fleiss]

YAY!!!!!
an update
and a great one at that!!!

cant wait til willow comes out to everyone, so everything will make sense to tara...finally!

[FineyMcFine]

Major hooray, these gals are getting somewhere, however awkwardly. They're finally talking, and even though Willow's being avoid-y or at least not talking about the specifics yet, Tara's being very good at pursuing things, and almost asked a few questions outright!

you could be a different person if you wanted to...

I really liked that thought process of Tara's, and that part of that sentence in particular was especially poignant and evocative. It's so true, isn't it? On the one hand, Tara could be a different person simply by behaving differently, and in time it might actually filter up to her, whatdoyoucallit, the inner essence of who she is. But on the other hand, she'd still be the same person - whether she dated Morgan or not, she'd still be in love with Willow.

I loved watching Tara debate with herself about how "don't things take time to develop" in terms of feelings or clicky-ness. Trying but only halfheartedly to convince herself that she should give Morgan a chance. If you have to talk yourself so much into something, it's probably not right.

Also, I noticed how you partially uncovered the fateful Conversation in Golden Gate Park. I'm agreeing somewhat with grimlock's assessment that Tara must have come out to Willow, and Willow reacted badly or awkwardly, thus the whole "My type is someone totally other than you." I guess the question is, not that it's critically important or anything, is (assuming that's what happened) - was it a misunderstanding, or was Willow externalizing some internalized homophobia?

Or perhaps the disagreement was totally other. Anyway, a marvelous update and a woo hoo!

[JustSkipIt]

Argghhh! These girls are stupid. Ok, not stupid but painful to watch. They're both being such idiots. I'm glad that they finally got talking and it seems that Tara's starting to question her own assumptions but it's all very frustrating.

Like the others, I'm curiuos about what Willow said to make Tara tell her her type in such anger. Very intriguing.

You did a very good job in this update of blending the description of their movement throughout the city. It all seemed very cold and busy and crowded which I assume was the intention. It also served very well to give a structure to an update made mostly of conversation and obsessive thought. Well done.

[UnderTheirSpell]

That would be really sexy honey, if only I couldn't hear you breathing like a dragon in my ear. -- my wife-- while I was licking her ear.

Hey Emms- are you sure you're not my wife? Cuz I once said those exact, and I do mean EXACT words to my wife! LMFAO

That was kinda spooky.

[behindhereyes]

Heather

Sorry if you think my praise of your writing is over the top ( knowing damn well I'm not the least bit sorry) . This was like dancing naked near an open flame, so many times the conversation between them got close to the heart of the matter...ie... Willow is closeted and madly in love with Tara, and Tara who all though out, has closeted adoration for Willow ( this babble courtesy of a Kim moment ) So Heather as far as I'm concerned you keep the flame burning and I'll continue to get close enough to feel the burn.

This flame, heat, fire fb left courtesy of
Kim aka Smokey the bear

[The Rose24]

I really want to wring these girls' necks. PLEASE GET A CLUE!

I am glad that Tara seems to coming to a conclusion that Willow and Xander are just friends whether she realizes it or not(Willow suggesting Xander will not be sleeping in the same bed with her). It seems as if they are opening up more and becoming more comfortable with each other.

Tara really does not want to date Morgan. She wants to try to keep Willow off of her mind. Though it is not a very good idea.

[IamLoui]

!!!


!!!!!
YAY!
What a superb update!
!!!!!

!!!