Random Scribblings

[Belli Bear]

okay, so, i wanted to update but i realised that im not in a writing mood! i know! insane! so, my solution to this problem! post two poems that i wrote a lil while ago they're very very different, polar opposites really. I was flicking through my poem collection and thought i'd give them a post, the first ones kinda specific, i hope it doesnt confuse y'all and the second one *smiles and bites her lip* s'one of my favourites..

Past

My absolute everything
I would change the shape of my reality
To better suit your needs

But you’re complicated
We’re complicated
And everything starts to spiral down..

I feel myself fall
Over and over
Beaten into submission
A sagging, lifeless, ugly doll
Stick pins in my heart
As you hold it down
You play with me
…And others
Over and over

It hurts so bad to see you with them
I smell you as you brush past
You ignore me and my open heart
You smell like every boy in the room
I know where you’ve been…
My heart cracks..
My spirit bleeds
I feel myself fall
Everything starts to spiral once more

Into darkness..

But we’re complicated
So complicated..
Complicated.
You live through complication don’t you love?
You thrive amidst the chaos you conjure
I thought for a moment that a part of me still loved you
I guess it does
Even though I’ll always hate you

It’s more a kind of hurt
You took something I’ll never be able to get back
I wasted myself on your insanity
For so many nights
If only I knew..

The things we did..
They play beneath my eyelids
Flickers of memories long since lost to your mind
You probably forgot it even happened
I wonder millie
Did you keep the knife?
It wasn’t in my room..
I looked for so long
As I over-casually wiped the blood away
And tried not to mix it with my tears
I wonder..
Did you keep it?
Did you wash it?
Did you smile when you saw what was on it?

You made me want to die
And now you make me
Sick.

But its time to move on from that
The flickers cease
My memories lay dormant once more
It is the dawn of a new day

Where you follow me with your pathetic glances
Over-ambitious hands and lips
Your temple crumbles
You’re nothing to me
Lost..
Banished
Completely Unmissed

I cherish every day that puts you further in my past
But do not fool yourself
I hardly think of you now
Because..
You are simply..
Gone to me
And everything
We ever did..
Is
Nothing.




Future

My fingers itch
With the words that I will never say
So impossible for my mind to grasp
How completely you affect my world
Altering everything in your wake
Leaving the dim threads of my dull reality
Glowing in the paths you burn through my skin
The fire you fuel within my soul
Within my heart
Changing the composition of my body… my everything…
In the most needed
Beautiful
Delicious of ways
You alone are the one I love
The one I need
Give me nothing but you
In your delicate simplicity
Open perfection
For my hungry self
To lavish my attention upon
Nothing I say is ever enough for me
I always want to give you more
You deserve so much..
So much I’ll give in time
I alone will bring you to those places
You’re only beginning to touch now
I love you
Those words ring once more
Echoes of truth
Lie within the thousands of times
I have whispered
Screamed
Whimpered
Spoken
Moaned
Them into your ear
Your heart
Your skin
Your soul

I love you..



Enjoy Friends stay happy and safe!


- Belli XxX

[SJ]

Like both those poems,great writing

[Boschi]

Well that first one was a kick in the gut, eh? Definitely conjures up all those feelings of abandonment and being in love with someone who is a destructive (and intoxicating) force. Ouch. Yeah - been there (not to say it is a generic experience, just that I relate).

I particularly liked

" You live through complication don’t you love? "

And of course the whole agony of being some forgotten footnote (ooohhh, my bitterness is showing through...), so you "retaliate" by forgetting/denying them (or spitefully trying). Sigh. Doesn't really matter at that point, but it is something you can do.

As for the "Future". We are all just gluttons for punishment, aren't we? Outta the frying pan, in to the fire... and a wicked lovely fire 'tis.

Thanks for posting,

Boschi

[StaceAngel]

Lets spare a few seconds for the thought of Miss Camille *counts 3 seconds*

Lets move on...

YOU WANT BOUNCY FB YOU SHALL GET IT MY LOVE!

So wooooow! I liked the second one I know your girlfriend well...

Nothing I say is ever enough for me
I always want to give you more
You deserve so much..

Got you for six weeks s'aaaall i need....for those six weeks then i need to by a top up card on the girlfriend time *nods* ! I'm thinking of buying you a lil belli cage...just so i can hold you cap-CLOSE! close...! to...my.....heart? *nods* heart...never bed *shakes. her. head.* !


HE IS YOUR FRIEND! DONT DENY THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR HIM!!



You know what five of him mean right? ......enough for the family We'll never go hungry agaaaiiin! *looks around* i ate pizza hut pizza today...ahem...

Loved the poem baby i remember when you wrote it its beautiful...

Echoes of truth
Lie within the thousands of times
I have whispered
Screamed
Whimpered
Spoken
Moaned
Them into your ear
Your heart
Your skin
Your soul

I love you..

*siiiiigh* love you....

....

Okay i have to go tidy summore and all that jazz...i'll see you soon you'll probably read this when ur sittin next to me anyway how embarassing..heh...


Stace xXx