i'm not 100% happy with this part yet but i'm sure i'll fix it up in beta and edits when i'm done with the fic... i'm like 99.9% with it... hehe... i hope i got the italics right otherwise i'm sure dr.g will come on in and clean them up for me like he's done before. *rubs his tummy*... i should have the next part to this up soon.
last we left off: Willow and Tara sexing in the cinema, Willow and Tara sexing in the bathroom... lol... mean old mr. maclay warning tara about going out.
****************
As soon as she entered her room and her glowly Christmas lights were lit by a turn of a switch, Tara threw herself on her bed and held back a sob. She could feel it traveling up her body, it was coming. Tears, once started, tended to flow for hours and she was not going to give into it this time. Not this time.
As her face buried itself in her pillow she thought about how she had more in her life to make her happy than sad. She thought of Willow, of Willow’s beautiful smile that made her whole freckled face beam, of Willow’s red hair that flowingly tickled her own pale neck when she kissed her, of Willow’s lips, hips, tips and…
She hadn’t washed the pillow cover for days after Willow had slept over so she could continue to smell her and all her Willowness. Now, it simply smelled Downy soft. But she had fresh smells, recent tastes to revel in tonight. She didn’t want to shower just yet so she could still have the feeling of her fingers inside Willow, the touch of her lips over her svelte curves, the tingling all over of their bodies pressing together.
She also thought of Ojai and the horses.
She hadn’t told Willow about Ojai yet. She hadn’t mentioned it to her because she wasn’t sure she should even get her own hopes up about working at the horse rehabilitation center 45 minutes away. Aunt Lily knew the owners of the ranch and she’d promised to talk to them about employment opportunities for her. But getting the job wasn’t the issue, she knew she had the knowledge and experience, having her father agree to let her work there was the dilemma. And, after his overreaction tonight Tara wasn’t sure he’d let her go. God forbid she was late to dinner or something.
Tara chuckled at her brazen sarcasm. She’d never even conceived of thinking like that before, never even thought to make a joke about her father and his overzealotness. Her father, she was beginning to realize, was just a simple man. He’d sheltered her and fed her and clothed her but he’d never given her the fatherly affection she coveted. She’d had her mother’s love and understanding for that instead. That had been large enough for a billion parents.
Tara had always been quiet, placid and controlled with her father and there had never been any room for deviation. Ever. Except for that brief period after her mother’s death of course but that didn’t last very long. Her father had made sure of that. She just figured that was the way it would always be, that she would be a little girl forever and her father would always treat her as such. Ojai could be the break she was looking for. Ojai and Willow.
She looked out her window, gazing at the night sky above her littered with twinkling stars.
‘Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?’ she made out the lyrics to her mother’s favorite song which seemed to fit just perfectly.
‘Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?’ She hummed the rest of the song out as she closed her eyes,
‘Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I've built my life around you. But time makes you get bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too.’Knowing and loving Willow was changing her. Being loved by Willow was giving her the strength and change of will. She knew it, she felt it. She could feel love and happiness overcoming the murkiness and fear. All she had to do was think of Willow, her flaming goddess, and everything was better. Willow was under the same night sky she looked out upon this very instant. She always had been she realized, and that simple thought comforted her beyond belief. Like if it had been a new fate destined for her. For them. She had been given a second chance this summer to meet Willow and be with her, love her, and be loved back.
Feeling poetic she decided to write her love a letter and rolled over towards the side of her bed, searched under it for her notebook, and wrote.
***************
Monday rolled around as it tended to do every seven days but this Monday was different. Buffy and her campers were relegated all day to kitchen duty for their misbehavior and mud fight from a few weeks ago. Willow, having been spared from working in the mess hall by Oz’s fabrication, looked forward to spending the day with Tara.
All her thoughts centered on last night’s events as she walked up the curvy path towards the stables. Thinking about Tara’s dexterous tongue, delightful lips, and gifted fingers were causing her legs to stagger and more than once she stopped to calm her breathing. Willow wasn’t in a hurry though, she still had a good 45 minutes before the first group of campers arrived to go on the riding trail. They still had to finish the breakfast she’d sneakily sneaked out of. There were the morning announcements after breakfast and the cabin clean up and inspection...
As she rested against a tree she looked out in to the canyon off the side of the trail that curled down about 100 feet in front of her. Funny how she’d never noticed the spectacular view before. The hills and trees looked so peaceful, so serene. Perfect place to just chill and be with the one she loved.
“Willow?”
The redhead quickly turned around towards the voice though she knew it wasn’t Tara’s, “Beth.” she said as soon as she recovered from the slight startle.
“Hey.”
“Hi?” she didn’t know what to say. She’d never really spoken to Tara’s cousin. Ever actually. She’d only watched her giggle at her and stare whenever Donny would make fun of her horse phobia last year.
“Breakfast is over?” the brunette asked as she checked her watch. It was only 8: 45 am.
“No, I… I skipped out. I needed some fresh air. I’m feeling kinda blechy.” She even lightly rubbed her tummy for effect.
“Oh.”
“So… what about you?”
“Not much. I was just going to go help Tara get the horses ready.”
“Oh.” Willow tried hard to keep the regret out of her voice. “I was, um…”
“Heading that way?” Beth asked, eyeing her. "Towards horses?"
Willow blushed. “No, I-“
“You’re pretty far from camp for a simple walk.” She looked over towards the hill in front of them, just over it dwelt the stable. She knew exactly where Willow was headed. “You guys have been hanging out a lot, huh?”
The unanticipated question threw her off for a second. What was Beth was getting at? How should she respond to the question? “Yeah.” Willow answered truthfully. “She's really cool.”
“You know she’s a great big lesbo, right?” Beth mentioned with a slight chuckle. She and Tara had never really been best of friends, in truth. They had always hung out together out of familial reasons but Beth was much closer to Donnie even though she was practically the same age as Tara. Tara, in her opinion, was just weird and anyone befriending her was just as strange. “Just warning you. Hanging out with Tara-”
“That is none of your business." The heartless word Beth used to describe her own cousin overwhelmed Willow and she interrupted her as soon as her brain functioned. "I don’t see how that matters.” She said through clenched teeth. She wanted to slap Beth.
Beth noticed Willow’s boiling anger and shrugged her shoulders. “Whatever. Ask her about Erica... Ask her about Erica and you’ll see how it matters.” She looked over towards the hill again and then back to Willow. She’d suddenly decided she didn’t want to go to the stables anymore. “Tell Tara… Forget it. Just tell her I went home.” With that she turned to walk away.
********************
“Beth?” Tara asked as she turned around to greet the newcomer that had made the previously calm horses snort. Once she saw it was Willow and not her cousin she smiled widely and clutched her chest. “Willow!”
Tara’s beaming smile actually hurt. Seeing Tara so happy while her insides were constricting with torment hurt. “Who’s Erica?” the redhead asked without even so much as a polite hello to her girlfriend. It was a question not laced with hurt or betrayal but inquiry.
She stood a few feet from Willow, the question stopping her in her tracks. The look in her eyes did too. They were curious and sad at the same time. Confusion spread over her brows, “An old friend.”
“A friend with benefits or just a friend-friend?” she asked quietly as her green eyes lowered to gaze at the hay strewn floor. She couldn’t bare to look at her love. She was embarrassed at the fact all the way up to the stables her mantra had been ‘Don’t be a spazz, let her explain’ and she was doing exactly the opposite.
“A friend-friend.” She thought Willow didn’t believe her. Her freckled arms were still crossed over her chest and, not willingly, she could read her distressed aura. “What’s going on? Who mentioned her?”
“Beth.”
“Beth…” Tara sighed deeply. “Yeah, well, she doesn’t know anything.” She softly walked up towards her lover and gingerly lifted up her chin. Their eyes locked. “Willow.”
“I know I should stress about it, it’s probably nothing and just Beth being a old meanie, but why haven’t you told me about her?”
Tara couldn’t help but laugh quietly. “I have. Remember when I got drunk?” Tara had told this story to Willow before, during the sleepover. Not all of it but only the main parts really mattered in her opinion.
“When you went to that bar?” her voice cracked as she sniffled, “and you almost got arrested for being a minor?”
The blonde nodded. “Erica is the one that took me there.”
Willow remembered the story now. It had happened a few weeks after her mother’s death when Tara had sneaked out to go to a bar with a friend and it had ended horribly. “Did she get arrested?” she asked her. She was bothered this Erica had put Tara in such a harrowing situation after such an awful experience. She had wanted to cry when Tara explained how she had been grounded for months and retreated back into her shell, further in than ever before.
Tara laughed, Willow’s tone hadn’t gone unnoticed. “No, her uncle was the cop.”
“But why would Beth care about that? Why did she make it sound so appalling?”
“Because it was a gay bar many towns over. That’s when everybody found out… about me.” She half smiled a bit nervously at Willow.
Her blue eyes were so warm and caring they made Willow want to just cry even more. “Oh, that’s horrible Tara. I’m so sorry.” Quickly her arms enveloped the blonde.
“Willow, I would never lie to you. You know that.”
Still hugging her lover close she voiced, “I know. But… not telling me the whole story could be misconstrued as lying sometimes. And me not knowing the whole story makes my brain go on overdrive as I think of reason why you didn’t tell me the whole story in the first place. And-”
“No, it’s not lying. It’s just not telling”. There were a few things she hadn’t been telling Willow she reminded herself. Things like Ojai. “Lying is…” she trailed off as her conscience tugged at her more than ever.
“A deliberate falsehood,” Willow replied sounding like the American Heritage Dictionary.
“Right.”
“No more emissions though. You have to tell me everything.”
“Everything?”
Willow nodded firmly. “Everything.”
She would tell her everything, but not today. Not yet. “Ok, then maybe I should start by telling you that I wrote you something last night.” She bit on her lower lip as she watched Willow’s face beam up with a grin. “A poem.”
“Really?!”
“Yes, really.”
“I want to read it. Now!” she even clapped her hands together for an excited effect. “Where is it?”
“Somewhere…” Her eyes sparkled, “On me.”
“You vixen!”
*******************
“…Lost in ecstasy, spread beneath my Willowtree, you make me complete.” She whispered aloud the last line of the poem again. She’d read it over ten times already but it continued to tug at her heart every single time those words registered. The redhead breathed deeply before clutching the paper against her chest. “Oh Tara.” She sighed.
“What is making you blush and not help with the lunch preparations?”
“Buffy!” Willow yelled, snatched out of her Tara reverie. “You almost gave me a heart attack!” she said almost falling off the dinning room table she was inappropriately sitting on.
“What you got there, Wills?” Buffy asked as she looked over towards Willow’s back. She was certainly hiding the piece of paper well.
“Nothing.” Her voice cracked. She was such a bad liar.
“Oooh, a love letter,” the slayer teased as she reached out behind her and tried to snatch the paper away.
Willow quickly jumped off the folding table and gibed back. “A love POEM,” the redhead corrected with an openhearted grin.
“Poem? A poem, poem? Like rhyming words at the end of each sentence? Little rhyming sentences?”
“Yes, exactly that.” Poor Buffy’s brain, it worked in such mysterious ways.
“That is so romantic. Why wont Riley write me a poem?” she pouted. “Can I read it?”
“Definitely not. It’s private.” Her frowning face quickly turned into one of pure joy.
“Oooh, you’re blushing. It’s a blush worthy poem! If you don’t let me read it I’m going to…” Buffy pretended to think hard and work out a stratagem for this conquest. Without warning, all her Slayer quickness began to tickle Willow.
The redhead screeched and laughed aloud as she tried squirming away from Buffy, the tickle monster but it was no use. She was pinned against the table.
“God,” Jenn said as she approached her two counselors with a broom in hand, “You two are sooooo gay.”
Buffy and Willow laughed harder than they had ever laughed before.
*****************
TBC....
Edited by: Rane018 at: 9/30/02 9:15:30 pm
by Canadian Kitty » Tue Sep 24, 2002 2:35 pm 
I'm happy for you. A gender, is just exactly that. It doesn't make the person. You've found love... that's the important thing. Now listen to me, I'm getting all sappy. I really need a g/f. 
I really didn't like what she had to say at ALL!! But i guess no ones perfect! And i too am curious bout this Erica! Can't wai 4 more!! 
)
at: 9/30/02 4:49:14 pm
, and look forward to finding out more in the next part! 
at: 9/30/02 7:30:38 pm
She knows exactly what to say to make Tara feel bad.
...
a nice image
guess the only thing we're good at is being damn sexy...oh well