Okay kitties, this may be the last update for a couple of days. I'm getting Lasik surgery this afternoon, and I might not be able to handle staring at a computer screen for the next 48 to 72 hours... I hope this won't be the case... but we shall see.
In the meantime, enjoy the update! (Angst level: 5)
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2 days later….
Tara lay on the couch in her family room, curled up in a blanket, dozing heavily. The phone rang suddenly, jarring the quiet of the room. The blonde reached out and clumsily grabbed the cordless phone from off of the coffee table in front of her, reluctant to leave her sleepy haven.
“Hello?...” she mumbled into the receiver.
“Tara?” Willow’s voice chimed gently through. “Did I wake you?” In her office, the redhead glanced worriedly at the clock on her computer screen, 1:24pm.
“A little”, Tara admitted, her voice still thick with sleep. “I was just lying here.”
“I’m sorry--”
“S’okay…”
“I was just calling… I mean… I hadn’t heard from you in a few days and”, Willow struggled to find the right words. “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Yeah”, Tara sighed, her eyelids heavy and drifting shut.
“And to see if you needed anything…?” Willow drifted off a little at the end, trying to disguise the sound of hope in her voice.
“No.” Tara replied, much to Willow’s dismay. “No, I’m fine… just tired.”
“I understand”, said the redhead, “I’ll let you go so you can sleep…”
“Thanks…”
“Just let me know if you need anything…”
“Okay”, Tara started to put the phone down, then pulled it back to her mouth. “Oh, Willow? Are you still there?”
“Yes”, she responded, her heart quickening a little.
“There is one thing… if you don’t mind…”
“Anything”, Willow said instantly, then winced at the desperate sound of her voice.
“Lisa had to take her car into the shop this morning”, Tara explained, “She’s supposed to pick it up this afternoon… I just don’t feel up to making that drive again…”
“What time do you need me?”
“Is three okay?”
“I’ll be there,” Willow assured her.
Tara let out a sigh that sounded like a yawn. “Thanks, Will… you’re always so good to me…”
Willow tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat as her heart began to beat even faster at Tara’s words. “I just want to help”, she said finally. “I’ll see you later.”
“M’kay…bye, Willow.”
“Bye…”
Tara set the phone back down and let the heavy cloud hovering over her mind finally descend and carry her off into a deep sleep.
***
Willow stood fidgeting in front of the door to Tara’s home. After a few minutes she finally raised her fist and knocked lightly on the wood. She stepped back a bit, in anticipation of the door opening and waited. When the door finally swung wide Willow tried her best to disguise her disappointment at seeing Tara’s sister standing there.
“Oh, hey, Willow”, said Lisa stepping away from the door so that they redhead could come inside. “I just need to grab something from upstairs. I’ll be right down.”
“Sure,” nodded Willow amiably. “Where’s Tara?”
Lisa paused in her ascent up the stairs, “Oh, she’s sleeping in the family room, I think.” The redhead shook her head in acknowledgement and the girl continued up to her room.
Willow entered the family room walking as softly as possible. The air was quiet, making the redhead hyperaware of every sound her motions made, from the crush of carpet beneath her shoes to the in and out sound of her breathing and the beating of her heart inside her chest. She saw Tara asleep on the couch and arrested her movement, even going so far as to hold her breath for a moment, for fear of disturbing the sleeping girl. She was content to stay where she was, until she noticed something that caused her brow to crinkle with concern, and compelled her to move over to Tara’s side, sitting on the coffee table across from her.
Delicately, so as not to wake Tara from her slumber, Willow brushed a few strands of blonde hair away from the sleeping girl’s face and touched the back of her hand to her forehead.
“What are you doing?” whispered Lisa, causing Willow to jump away and tense. She hadn’t even heard Tara’s sister enter the room.
Catching her breath, Willow quietly replied, “I’m checking to see if she’s running a fever.”
“Why? She’s just sleeping.”
Willow let out a sigh of frustration, how could anyone related to Tara be so incapable of such basic observation? “Her cheeks are flushed and she’s sweating a little”, she explained, touching her hand to Tara’s forehead again, before pulling away and regarding her sleeping friend. “No fever”, she announced, “it might just be a bad dream.” Willow chewed the inside of her lip, knowing there was nothing she could do, short of waking the girl up, and that was the last thing she wanted. Sighing, she stood and looked to Lisa, who was still staring at her uncertainly. “Let’s go.”
The car-ride was silent the first half of the way; neither of them really comfortable in the other’s company. Willow had put on the soft rock station, which made Lisa gag internally but she somehow found the strength to not complain.
“She’s been doing that a lot”, Lisa said abruptly, breaking the silence.
“What?”
“Sleeping”, she explained.
“Tara?” Willow asked, thinking that was who Lisa was talking about, but wanting to be sure.
“Yeah.”
The redhead let out a long breath, “She’s going through a rough time right now.”
“And I’m not?” Lisa asked, suddenly defensive.
“I didn’t say that”, Willow replied gently, “everyone has their own way of dealing with loss. Your sister is emotionally and physically exhausted. Sleeping is her body’s way of recouping before she gets back into life.”
Lisa sat quietly for a moment, absorbing what Willow was saying. She didn’t like where the conversation seemed to be going, so she decided to change subjects. “I know you’re in love with my sister.” She watched Willow’s hands grip the steering wheel more tightly. “I read your letter.”
“Why did you do that?” the redhead asked, trying not to show her upset at the revelation.
“She asked me to”, Lisa answered easily, noting the look the comment earned her, she went on, “she was washing dishes and her hands were sudsy, so she asked me to read it aloud to her.”
“Oh…”
“It freaked her out, you know.”
Willow felt her chest cave in slightly. “I thought it might’ve.”
Lisa could see the pain in Willow’s eyes even though the girl was trying to maintain a poker face throughout. The younger woman felt a twinge of guilt and tried to backtrack a little. “The ‘I Wish’ thing was really pretty, though.”
“Thanks…”
Tara’s sister let out a long breath. “I know that people think I’m a bad person”, she announced, seemingly out of nowhere. “For not being around a lot”, she went on. “But it was just my way of dealing with everything, you know… and maybe it was selfish,” she said, her words starting to constrict in the back of her throat as she began to choke up. “But I never really thought she would die. Parents don’t die.” Tears had started to form in the corners of her eyes. “They get sick and stuff, but they don’t die. They aren’t supposed to.” She let out a shuddering breath, before taking another one in. “Even after they told us that there was nothing they could do… I still didn’t think she was going to die. I thought if everyone would just stop dwelling on this whole death thing, then maybe it would go away.” Tears were now streaming down her face. “So I stopped dwelling on it… … but it didn’t go away… she did… she went away… … and a part of me still doesn’t believe that she’s gone… a part of me still keeps expecting that she’ll come home….and I’ll hear her keys echoing in the hall by the front door… and the sounds of her steps… and I’ll smell her perfume… … but… but I never will… … and now I have to live with knowing that I wasted all of the chances that I had to be with her… I have to live with knowing that I wasn’t there when she… she…”
“Sh”, soothed Willow, pulling Lisa into her arms and holding her tightly. At some point during Lisa’s breakdown, the redhead had pulled over to the side of the road so that she could really focus on what the young girl was saying through her tears. “It’ll be okay…”
“No, it won’t”, Lisa sobbed.
“It may seem that way now”, said Willow, “but it will get better in time. It’ll be hard… but it will get better.”
Lisa held on tightly to the redhead as sobs wracked through her body. Finally, she pulled away, still hiccoughing slightly through her breaths. She wiped her eyes and nose with the back of her hand, and let out a wry chuckle. “Now I understand why my sister likes you so much”, she said with a watery smile.
“She likes me?” Willow asked, unable to hide the wishful tone in her voice.
“Not like that”, Lisa replied, before quickly adding, “I mean, I don’t think like that… honestly, I’m not sure.” Willow nodded, trying not to show her disappointment. “I… I think that Tara’s really lucky to have you. I wish someone would care about me as much as you care about her.” Willow smiled sadly at Lisa’s words. “I just hope”, she continued, pausing a moment to find the right words “… I hope that you won’t stop caring about her if she can’t…you know… love you back.” The redhead stayed silent, unsure what to say. “But I’ll put in a good word for you”, Lisa appealed, smiling widely.
Willow couldn’t help but chuckle. “Thanks”, she said. Putting the car back in gear, she and Lisa drove the rest of the way to the auto-shop in comfortable silence.
*****
TBC…
It really sucks (not to mention it hurts like hell 
) One sided love affairs always suck for the one who is too in love to care what happens to them. *sigh* Poor Willow! I know how she feels. Been there, done that, bought the trailer park. How much she invests in this love vs. her return on said investment is going to be worth seeing. 
. Take care of yourself.
I've always been partial to strawberries
Great job.
Love this story 
Keep it coming. PLEASE *puppy dog eyes*
. I love how you play the emotion, it's so amazing. love sammi xx 
