Sorry for the delay gang, I've been struggling with work (election madness!!!), baseball (SOX!!!) and a whopper of a head cold (splitting headaches!!! oh, wait...). Anyway, replies then update.
Wired vixen Uh oh, don't pull your hair out! That'd be.... bad. Unless you're really into hats (then, go to town). :) Poor Xander, he has no idea the antipathy directed toward him. Glad you liked Willow's little 'yay!' I love bouncy Willow, she's so damn cute, so any opportunity to write her is good times for me. Thanks so much!
justin Gah, thanks for catching that for me justin. I admit I didn't read back through the replies before I posted the last bunch (definitely won't be doing that again, haha). Poor Willow has no idea that Xander is even an issue. They've been just friends for so long I don't think she even considers that anyone would take her innocent comments about him as anything other than just that. Hopefully no amnesia will come into play (cause bumps on the head are ouchy), and although I'd love to see John Madden give Willow a replay breakdown (complete with 'BOOM! You see there that's where you lost her' commentary), Willow's just gonna have to be in the dark about this a little while longer. Assume crash position is a good position to be in for the party. : Thanks justin!
willlovestara Welcome (if you haven't left me feedback) and welcome back (if you have)! :) Got a while yet until feelings are revealed, but hopefully the build up will be worth it. Thanks Hannah.
Vogelscheuche No apologies needed - real life can be a bear sometimes (hope you get some more days off soon cause yikes!). Still no clue for our girls and I'm glad you're looking forward to the party. Thanks Insanity.
serendipitous Angsty indeed! I'm so very glad you like the relationship that's building between our girls; that's what it's all about! Haha emotional curveballs eh; I'm pretty sure ya'll think I also have a mental splitter, a spiritual sinker, and on occasion, can bring the heat (and yes, I have been watching too much baseball lately...). Thanks very much!
badkitty Oh no. This official killing... has the paperwork been notarized yet, or do I still have time to not kill you? (Eh, who am I kidding, we've got some serious :aww potential at the party.) Sorry? *bats eyelashes innocently* Thanks so much gail!
angel of salvation I like your "AAAARGGH!" It goes nicely with
badkitty's Lucy avatar. :) Killing you too huh? Wow, I'm really knocking em dead! *ba dump bump* Thank you, thank you; I'll be here all week - try the lobster! (I've had a lot of sugar today... my apologies.) Please don't implode, update following.
behindhereyes I'm so glad you like the slow pace. I'm probably going muuuuch slower than I need to go, but as I've mentioned before I'm really, really greedy, and want to write all of the little moments they share leading up to the realization that they're each other's always and that those feelings they have for each other are reciprocated. (This story is so freaking long and really it's only covering about three weeks of their 'real life'.) As
JustSkipIt so eloquently (and beautifully) said in her feedback for this last part (I'm paraphrasing), these are all times they'll reminisce on when they lay in bed together years from now. That's exactly what I want to have for them, even if it is frustrating for them now (and probably a little frustrating for them later); little moments where their love grew and they became friends, there for each other on a deeper level. Ready to be full, equal partners in every sense when the truth comes out. Mushy but true! I'm glad you can feel it all. Makes my day, week, etc. Thanks Kim!
snuggle79 Again I say 'poor Xander'! Oh those girls are going to owe him big time. Spa weekend in Palm Springs or something. Yeah, Tara has it rough but hopefully that'll start easing up a little (post party). Thanks!
ranebophlag Wow, you're a trooper if you got caught up in just a couple of days... that's a lot of reading! Thanks very much, I'm glad you're enjoying (and hope the reminding you of your life, are the good, happy, flirty parts!). Thank you for reading!
happynatty Oh wow, that's a lot of different emoticons! The banana still cracks me up (after all the time; *sigh* I'm easily amused). Have I gone through these things... I think we've all had these feelings before (at least, that's why I like to think ya'll are reading the story). Not the specific events though, that's just a wandering mind... :) Thanks very much natalie!
WillowPowered Haha the party *is* a perfect set up for a little dancing, a little kissing and then heading home for a little loving... if you're Michelle and Marissa! :) I think our girls are going to be having quite the different evening... So sorry! Thanks Jill!
veiled isis moon Oh man, I'm just a tornado of badness. Killing people, driving them crazy... oy vey. I'm glad you enjoy it though, well, a part of you at least! Tension is the name of the game and poor Xander (that's what... the third, fourth time I've had to break that one out so far in these replies?). Thanks so much for reading!
UnveilTheSoulbound I agree, it's going to be a great moment when Tara realizes she's not only in love but loved in return. :) I'm glad you like the slow buildup, and I'm pretty sure pure and complete shock is going to be the look on Tara's face when she finds out all that time Willow was in love with her. As for Willow's reaction to finding out the party is at Morgan's? I do believe she might birth kittens. :) Thanks!
VixenyTarasHot I know, I don't like seeing Tara torn up like that either, and I'm hoping that she'll be able to get some really good Willow time to make up for all of this angst on the other side of the party. Tara needs to get Morgan out of her system, so to speak. She's preoccupied with Morgan in an attempt to not be preoccupied with Willow... which of course isn't going to work. That'll get sorted some at the party. Willow moving... a shadow in this fic for sure. Can't help it; it must be done (bringing it up, not necessarily the actual moving). Glad you're enjoying Ashleigh!
LucyisXena No, no, no slips. (Unless they're wearing slips, cause those are mmmmmm.) :) It's all about the slow burn. Willow's going to say a lot of choice things at this party, but sadly blurting out her feelings for Tara's not going to be one of them. Sorry, and thanks so much for reading!
AmbeRocks Haha trying to remedy the update schedule some, just been working, and social butterflying a little bit more than usual. In Willow's defense, there's no way she'd know that Tara's upset-when-she-was-watching-the-movie-with-Xander was because of Xander, because Tara was downstairs, she was upstairs, etc... just one of those things that's not apparent unless someone verbalizes and points it out. *sigh* I know what you mean, Tara upset is such a yucky thing. :( Really want some happy time for her soon. Thanks so much jen!
starcat73 Gah, sorry about the heartbreaking. Haha they probably would make horrible seekers. Poor girls. So glad you enjoyed the flirting, more of that to come in future updates. Yeah, that red party is not good for Willow... initially. No mercy though! Girl has got to go through the rough time to get to a better place; and I do promise a better place on the other side of this party. It's just another readjust to their equalibriums. ;) Thanks!
Willow18 I just write as the situation arises. I have a couple of twists figured out in advance, the big ones (like the one in this next update) but the little ones (like the 'you love him'), they're just ways to keep them in a certain mood, emotion, whatever as the story progresses. So happy you mentioned the Entropy coffee shop flirting - totally the mood I was going for! :) Xander's just there... he's always going to be there in Tara's mind, although I'm getting sick of writing 'Willow loves Xander' haha so it might just be a subconscious thing for a while. ;) Willow at the party + Morgan hostessing = bad news bears. Lordy. Should be fun! Yes, I would assume crash position for the party, but you should be okay for this next update. Thanks!
crazy florist Thanks so much! I would have Willow wear that top, but damnit she just wore it on Wed (and to the best of my knowledge she hasn't done laundry yet haha). So new top, equally 'poor Tara' though! :) Thanks so much sam.
littlecrazy80 Sadly, I'm afraid Willow's C.O. is still on a distant horizon (a.k.a. we have a ways to go). Hope the interim updates can help make up for that though. Thanks!
TromDeGrey Haha uh oh, big red 'what' in the house. I went with the '...' in lieu of writing 'that day in the park' and causing riots. (I think I was afraid if I said that phrase one more time folks would freak out.) Oops, guess that happens whether I write it out or not. I totally agree, Tara deserves some happiness and I think Saturday will be the beginning of a happy period for her. The party is going to be interesting; I think the prevailing emotion is going to be frustration. More than jealousy, more than hurt, just flat out 'grrrr'. Glad you like the Willow touches, cause more on the way for sure. Poor Tara and her art; she's having a terrible time. Some of that in this update, with more to follow. Thanks so much S!
WillowRulez No coming out soonish (unless there is a new-fangled definition that means 'long time from now'). :) So sorry! And thanks for the bouncy Dumbo, so cute.
Grimlock72 Haha yeah, Willow not knowing that she's going to Morgan's place just might be a problem. Glad you like the telling of little things. I think Tara sees Willow as a little more confident than Willow sees herself; the thought that Willow's lonely, or would be lonely working from home, hasn't really crossed Tara's mind because I think she thinks Willow isn't the type to allow herself to get lonely. If that makes any sense at all. Willow talking herself down was no good, and honestly the only reason I didn't have Tara reach out and touch her hand is because I couldn't imagine Willow not twisting her hands in her lap as she beat up on herself. Damn those logistics! Very vague on the 'you love him' front, and a panicked-about-possible food-poisoning Willow was fun to picture in my mind. Tara will be a little overwhelmed at the party, and most likely Willow (and Willow's clothes) will play a huge part in that. Thanks Grimmy!
shadowygirl Hehe finger puppet's are silly. Glad you enjoyed the last update, even if it was 'short'! ;) And... I could be wrong but I think, *I think* I'm sensing some frustration on your part? :) Hope you enjoy the party and thanks April!
Rocktoddy So happy you liked Tara getting a chance to watch Willow. That was fun to write, got a chance to sit around and daydream about Alyson Hannigan for a little bit! :) I'm so glad you're enjoying the miscommunications and yeah, I'm thinking this story has a ways to go (just keeps getting longer and longer and longer... oof). Big grin on the jacket offering line... still is a romantic gesture in my book, but then again, some people are just thoughtful like that. ;) As for cool... I always loved it when Tara said cool on the show. It was always so cute haha, so there you go. Party is indeed going to feature a very jealous Willow... poor thing. Thanks!
tarawhipped Aw shucks and thanks! I dunno... I think I'm just curious. 'I wonder what it would feel like to say that, to hear that, etc'. I did want to put in Willow's touching POV, but I thought it was best to leave that until the party. Didn't want to have "she touched me"/"I touched her!" overload! :) I like yours very much though,that's pretty much exactly what I had in mind. I think Tara recalling the park and Willow touching her that day is a combination of the factors you mentioned. The Willow from the park is unfiltered Willow in a way; she didn't have the pressure of not-saying-the-wrong-thing-in-front-of-Tara-cause-she-loves-her.... she could just be herself, do her normal touching, babbling, etc. The more Willow relaxes around Tara, the more it reminds Tara of that day (which can be a good or bad thing, depending). Yes, we have double mood-swings going, so that should be fun, but for the most part when they're together and not talking about Xander they do alright... so let's see if we can't duplicate that scenario more often! :) And yes, laying on the party warnings thick... mainly cause I just don't want anyone to be upset if it's upsetting. It might not even be that bad, who knows, I haven't written it yet so... *shrug* Best to be prepared! ;) Thanks as always Cameron!
BFR from Paris Ah, to Willow's knowledge though Tara being upset/mentioning Xander has only maybe happened once... and why would Tara get upset if Xander is just a friend (Willow doesn't necessarily know that Buffy and Tara have this whole, 'Willow is pathetic cause she's still in love with Xander' club). :) It's a mess! Thanks!
LizPuRR Thanks so much! Hope you enjoy the next few updates (should cover the party).
WickedReds Willow *is* all with the touches - good times! Thanks so much reds (and is the banana now dancing for german smut? hahahaha).
JustSkipIt My heart melted at your 'lying in bed' scenario. Yes, yes, yes - that's it exactly. I hope that this fic is full of little moments like that for them, things that years later they can look back on and say 'I just wanted to kiss you,' or 'I was so jealous', etc. It's frustrating for them now, but hopefully later they can look back and take comfort in the fact that there was always love. (Even if it is still frustrating haha.) Yeah, no details on the Xander front. Willow doesn't know she needs to offer any, you know? In her mind it's understood that he's just a friend; probably doesn't even cross her mind that it'd be a problem (esp since Tara's never indicated that she's curious if Willow and Xander are together, etc). Sounds like you and Willow are on the same page with the alleged dorkiness! Just wish she would be okay with it, because it's a very neat side of her personality. Now I'm curious, was your company cool with your hack? Cause right now I'm just seriously impressed (what with me having no talent for the code...) Haha re: the worst idea ever (well, except for invading Iraq). I almost feel like I should invite Donald Rumsfield to come out and condescendingly defend Tara's right to bring Willow to hostile territory. You're right though, it's bad, especially since Tara is feeling the need (in her mind at least) to prove she could be with someone else. I maintain, however, that good things will come out of this on the flip side. It's just another adjustment for Willow to make moving forward. Thanks, as always!
And yes, VOTE, VOTE, VOTE 18+ year old Americans (good call!)
Marilda Cinch that chin strap, cause angst is indeed on the way. My kinda reader, 'bring it on' indeed! Thanks!
Stormforce :) Very glad you liked the teasing about the different animals, and yeah, that line referred to their day at the park. No Anya at the party, that'd probably just give poor Willow a stroke (and considering that Morgan's going to be there... no, no that would just be mean to have Anya there as well). Thanks!
hondosfirst Haha, how about that infamous day in the part 3 years and four or five days ago...? It's coming, just have a ways to go first. No, no writing for me for a living (social worker by trade). No other stories posted either I'm afraid - this really is my first foray into public writing. Thanks so much Rose, hope you enjoy the next update!
Artemis *blush* Thanks Chris. Yeah, a bit of a rollarcoaster; can't let them get too comfortable! Tara is definitely going to battle with her thoughts; when she's not around Willow she's doubting, worrying, etc... but when she is with Willow, she's just goofy for the girl. Trick is to get them to spend more time together (as you'll see in this update), so Tara's sensible side gets overwhelmed and she just says 'ah to hell with it' and doesn't worry about Willow being straight or Xander... just enjoys being with Willow. Of course, all that denial comes with a steep price... I don't know, it's going to be very interesting to see how it plays out. You're exactly right re: Willow talking about Xander; how would she know there might be a problem? It is frustrating though (for me too), but when it all comes out, clearing up that misunderstanding should be fun haha. "Xander?! Bleech!" Willow-down-on-herself is a constant theme in canon/fic, so I thought I'd take a swat at it... hopefully spending some time with Tara this week will help clear that up a bit, allow Willow to build some confidence. Had to have Willow bring up the housing; it's something she's been thinking about because of Shelia, and I thought it'd be interesting for Tara to have to look at Willow moving out from a Willow's-happy-to-move POV (even though we all know she's not happy or looking to move at all). Party will be interesting; happily not much goes wrong leading up to it. Thanks as always Chris, you rule.
Idgie Haha no take-backs! :P I'd still like Xander to visit, because I do believe that for every instance of angst, something good comes out of it (Willow's freakout about her first dream led to the bracelet, etc). So big angst would have to mean big resolution, right? Eh... Willow will stick to her plan to come out to Buffy first, and I'm afraid seeing Tara with Morgan is not going to make Willow's year. Lots of frustration and jealousy for poor Willow at the party.
alysagoddess85 Oh no! No ulcers! Ulcers are... bad. Unless it's good? Good lord I'm confused. :) Thanks so much Mel, much appreciated (and don't worry, lots of good one-on-one time for them in the days after the party).
shuyaku Haha that icon haunts me as I sleep! As for your feedback and the update... yeah I know... but in Willow's defense she really has no idea Tara suspects she *loves* Xander. Xander is... asexual in Willow's mind, a brother; Tara thinking she'd want him "that way" is far, far from her mind. Glad you liked the beginning, the flirting. Yes, we'll definitely have some Willow POV touching in the next few updates (hence the not wanting to go that route in the last). And you're right, I have been sneaky... Willow'd have to be a supernatural master of perception to gleen that Tara's upset about her mentioning Xander; she really and truly has missed almost all the signs. We have one more Xander misunderstanding for sure coming up, but beyond that the X-word should fade a way for a while, leaving the girls relatively stress free in that regard. I'm so glad you're looking forward to the Anya-Tara chat; Anya is going to be in fine-form that day, and while her advice might not be spot on, it'll give Tara some stuff to think about. Thanks re: the last minute party invite, that's almost more of a function of me not having a place to stick the asking earlier in the scene! :) And yes Buffy... I think Buffy's more jealous/surprised, than suspicious. Not like Willow and Tara have gone out to eat just the two of them before, and didn't they just have dinner the night before? Every time Buffy is hearing from them these days they're together, or it's just after they've spent time together. Definitely different for W/T in her mind, something to wonder about. Oh, and I'm glad you like that Willow loves it when Tara calls her Will. It's a definite sign of affection, and Willow clings to it. Thanks so much shuyaku! :)
Kajun At the park haha, I shoulda just put it in there. Yes! I threw the 'my' in there last minute to link up to the previous talk about best friends. In Willow's mind, she's talking about her best friend, so she's using the same language she'd used before. Poor Tara sees the 'my' quite differently though... I agree, if you do a lot of computer work you need a nice screen - Willow just needs to see that nerdy doesn't equal bad. Tara did get hit with two big issues in this update--Xander and moving--but I think she did an excellent job of kind of, rebounding. She still asked Willow to the party, still was happy as they walked home... so things are definitely changing for her. And yes, I think at some point Willow will see Tara at work. Thanks so much, great observations!
galerina Oh no, no banging of the head against hard surfaces. That's bad. The Tara/Buffy conversation was just a catch-up, how are you doing, what are you doing conversation. Nothing heavy. I'm sure Buffy told Tara about NYC and Tara mentioned that she had had dinner with Willow... but that's it. No deep feelings or angst there. And you're right, Buffy is a little jealous about Willow and Tara spending time together without her, and also a little curious as to why they're spending all this time together; before she left they weren't friends, just barely roommates, and now they're spending all this time together... very curious. Thanks so much Em!
Irishgrl3 So glad you enjoyed the relatively relaxed dinner. The day in the park, yes (I'm a dork, I should have just said it instead of assuming or inferring). As I mentioned to
galerina and
shuyaku, Buffy's definitely wondering what's up. Every time she talks to them, they're talking about each other; a definite change since she's been gone. Willow has plans to tell Buffy as soon as Buffy's off the plane haha, and I doubt that'll change. I too am glad that Tara thinks, yet does, different things; makes for some interesting interactions. And yes, jealous Willow for sure. Random girl touching her girl? Oh yeah, bring on the green-eyed monster. Thanks!
Sally McFine Hmmm... no, playing spin the bottle is definitely too Where The Wild Things Are. Don't need any girls cutting their hair off in the closet or marathon Buffy/Riley sex! I think instead we'll go with some 'looks that kill' and possibly even some misunderstandings (ah what the hell, let's say definitely on that last one). Thanks.
Nicole023 No, no, YOU ROCK. :) Thanks!
CaptMurdock Haha banana splits, I do update fast! Or at least I try to... work and friends sometimes make updating as fast as I'd like impossible. Glad you're enjoying, and Willow move out... *innocent grin* Thanks!
prometeo232 Haha that's a lot of 'y's in there. Listo el pollo huh, I might just have to use that some time! Poor Willow didn't know she was putting her foot in her mouth with the vagueness; she's going to feel like a real dummy when she realizes what Tara really thinks of her friendship with the Xan-man. Haha I don't know about emotionally rich microwave instructions... unless perhaps there is an unrequited love story with the blender than needs telling? Willow is going to have a rough time at the party; a little attitude adjustment that will help her out big time moving forward. Haha go Morgan... yes! :) Thanks!
Willster Poor Xander, he just broke up with his girlfriend like two weeks ago! And plus, even if he did have a girlfriend, that'd just make Tara more upset probably, Willow pining after taken-Xander and all. Glad you're looking forward to the party, and the coming out is still at least a week away. Long ways to go! Don't know about writing more after this; this is truly some sort of freakish inspiration thing... who knows if I'll have another one in me! But thanks for the support though!
YMKA Haha back to the EH eh. S'okay, I can take it. ;) Since the park, on both accounts (gosh I suck on that one). Glad you liked Willow talking about her work, I thought that'd be important since it's a pretty big part of her life. And yeah, how can you be lonely if Tara's home... hmm... Xander will get proper credit, and I'm thinking a paid vacation to the destination of his choice at this point. Willow's coming out to her mom and then Buffy in about a week. So, some ways to go... Willow kissing Tara sounds wonderful, and dream you say? :) I'm telling you, it's hard to find time to work with the extra work/election and baseball... hopefully life will slow down some after both are over.
shirrey Hey, at least I'm not being coy about how long it's going to take. Some brownie points for my honesty? *eyelash flutter* I hope the casualty count will be low... but I'm not really sure yet what's going to happen yet, so... no promises. Buffy is weirded out because Willow and Tara hanging out is not a normal thing at all, and every time she talks to them they're together. Just different for her. Thanks re: the dreams and the party is going to be interesting. Hope you have a great time in SF and thanks so much for reading.
If this next update reads weird, I blame Sudafed!
Edited by: EasierSaid at: 10/28/04 2:04 am
by alysagoddess85 » Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:16 am 
I'm kinda wondering why Chris (Artemis) didn't use that emoticon to describe the latest chapter, cuz quite frankly it is appropriate. Or maybe it's just me. What exactly did I say in my last little bit o' feedback. Oh yes, here it is...
She's almost as bad as the whole X-word fiasco (see rant above). 
.
Edited by: Irishgrl3 at: 10/25/04 12:43 pm
and like we say here: "Listo el pollo!!!" (Ready the chicken!!! literal translation)...
...
, wow, i can really imagine the girls with their outfit and all, not surprising both of them couldn't speak much..! and where is this party, cause i wanna go too!!! i'll even paint myself in red if that's what it takes!!
i LOVE this story!!!!
It was like we all was in Tara's shoes. That is talent.
the puter...
before the party... priceless... but really how much longer is this going to take... i mean i like a good tease, but... Wait i didn't mean it like that.. hehe... wait i maybe i did on a sexual level... mmm tease.., but anyways really i hate to sit here for the next 30 yrs reading about them dodging each other... So has got to happen at this party... just another little shove in the right direction... peas
