Random Scribblings

[Miss Evanescent]

Lovely poems Bell. thankyou for the chat last nite it did make me feel much better. update more soon!

Not quite broken but i'd still like to be fixed

~Me

[little miss 666]

okay, currently sitting and listening to an amusing phone conversation and now to two sisters killing eachother



aahhh.. good times



so aaaaanyway, i'm just going to sit here and write as i listen.. heere we go...







Watch me watch you

And you’ll see

You’re the most beautiful thing..

I’ve ever seen



~



I see a past in your eyes

I see a future as well



~



Through her eyes

I am dazzling

Beautiful

Caring



Although I am not worthy

Of such exclusive titles

I take them from her

Accept them

In order to somehow melt them into myself

Make them a part of me



Through her eyes I am brilliant

And so brilliant I shall be



~



Your voice

Grips me

As you sing away the hours

Unknown to my ears

Are these sounds of love



Your eyes

Grip me

Holding me captive

Wrapping me up in their texture

A prisoner to their passion



Your body

Grips me

Fingers glued to every landscape

Never a broken connection

I am

Slave to your skin







~







You spark inspiration

Merely by existing

But I put in all that I have

Into making sure you realize

How I feel for you

Into making sure you understand

I will never hurt you



I am humbled by this trust

Trust too many times broken

You bestow it on me

Fully aware of what you do

You give it to me

And I stand

Stutter

Fumble

Mutter

Babble



Anything to keep my mind from retreating into itself

To evaluate and explore



I need to stay with you in this

I need to stop my mind from taking over

I need to remember that I need to feel

Not only to think



I feel so much when I’m with you

So much that’s never been felt

I find myself

Terrified

Relaxed

Strong

Vulnerable

Experienced

Expecting

Exposed

Completely

Trusting

You



I feel so much

I’ve never felt

Before



I love you.





*bounces away* thanku for reading







- Belli









PS: OH! OH! And i just found this:



Random thoughts which popped into my head a few days ago whilst talking to the staceness



When you think about it

The cactus

Is the ultimate 'fuck you' plant 2 give

It's spiky, prickly

You can't nurture it a lot

It just sits there, dry and fickle

If you ignore it

Let it be for months and months

Then it won’t change

It'll still be dry and prickly

It’ll be what it’s supposed to be.

But if you try to make things better by overdoing it

(ie: watering it everyday)

It begins to rot from the inside

It gets squishy

And it dies

I think it’s a statement

You’ve got to leave cactuses alone so they can live

Not try and treat them like other flowers

If you do that

You'll end up killing them

The shape of you

Is etched inside

My bruised and somewhat sculptured mind

[Wired vixen]

My impatience got the best of me...i couldn't help it! I swear it! I was staring at your pseudonym and it looked so stacist, no feedback given yet, i had to change it! It wasnt my fault! Even though you didnt say not to...that was me. Okay so i went back on my decision to leave your thread, but i dont care! nuh uh!

So am i supposed to be analytical? Cos i always try and i just sound retarded.... "oh, that was a great example of simi-zzz.......stace shut up." Can i just say that these were great? I love your thoughts, they lift me up so high...kinda like the wind and i am the kite, only you're not wind. Cos thats waaay too easy to tease...aaaanyway, see! You're making me ramble! Oh jesus ok....ok.....I'm gonna pull some parts out cos i wanna! Got a problem with that? You nodding? Wanna fight? No? OKAY THEN.

Your voice
Grips me
As you sing away the hours
Unknown to my ears
Are these sounds of love

*blushes* I tried recording...but alas i suck. So....

I find myself
Terrified
Relaxed
Strong
Vulnerable
Experienced
Expecting
Exposed
Completely
Trusting
You

*smiles*

And just so you know! While you were writing this and Sophie was beating me up I HAVE ACCUMULATED BRUISES! I dont think thats so funny! Well...maybe a lil....if you're a sadist....or just evil...or a ram, cos of the funny looking...y'know, horns....and....and


WRITE MORE NOOOW!!!

Your Angel xXx

[SJ]

Great poetry

[angel of salvation]

yay poems! *does a lil dance* ok stopping now.... ahem, wudda read them earlier but i had a week of bliss with my hunni *giggles*



So onto the poems! The first one was goood and the next one was great well i think it was that one with the line 'i'm a slave to your skin' that was great



The random thoughts at the end. my god tha made me laugh, the cactus a real' fuck off' plant, or something like that...greatness!!! must write more soon bellio!!



Jess xxx

'You're my angel of salvation, and hope, and strength...your my multi-angel'-Jay (My baby)

"Denial, Party of one, You're table's ready"-Spud

]|My Anime Site|[

[WickedReds]

Wow.. great poemness Belli..

Quote:

---

I need to stay with you in this

I need to stop my mind from taking over

I need to remember that I need to feel

Not only to think

---

Love it..

WOO HOO!!! *runs away*



-reds



Meine Banane tanzt für Rußflocke 

Smutbunny Anthem: *sung to tune from Goldfinger* Smutbunnies...they'er the bunnies, the bunnies that love the smut...and Willow's butt. They surf for smut fiction...always lookin' for the next naked sweaty fix...of Tara's tits.- Written By Cameron(tarawhipped) For Us Smut Bunnies

[Belli Bear]

okay, i am slack, and will do individual replys next time i swear! honest! Okay! so, these aren't actually POEMS persay, just scribbles, hard to understand, meh, i'm feelin brave so i'll post..





I felt it
I felt it again
Rushing through my veins like ice
That horrible feeling
That volatile sensation
Sickening
Stretching out my tears
Stop

I felt it sliding down my throat
Back in that dark place again
You promised me I’d never go there again
You promised

You’re inside me
A part of me
So they say I should trust you
Stop doing this to me

There’s wet under my knees
Dirt under my nails
I feel sick
Who are you?
I’ve not recently experienced
Something so innately
Painful
Personal
Terrifyingly vivid
Terrifyingly real

Phantoms push as I tremble
Shiver and shake
Shudder
Stop
I whimper
My mouth hurts
Why can’t I speak?
Make noise of any sort
Dumb, silent, defeated

Being there again
Going there again
Dark paths taken down an equally dark mind
Stepping stones to sickness
Pathways to pain
Leading up a broken road
Veined with blood and lies
Spit out your pleasure
STOP
Not again
I beg I plead and I stay still
Keeping up the rhythms
Crying for an end
Please
Please just let it end

No longer a little girl
Not quite yet a woman
Back in the cold clench-your-thighs dark
Looking for a light
To show me the way out of my mind
It doesn’t fade
It snaps
Snaps like bone
And I’m awoken by a jingle
Gone as I wake
And push back the tears to investigate




_________________________________________




You’re separated
Distanced
Don’t be afraid
I’m not all that
I need you in this
You’re with me
Always with me
Go ahead and reach out
I’ll let you touch this heart
Whenever you wish
I’ll let you change my mind
My life
Don’t you see?
I want you to
I want you
More than you’ll ever see
More than I’ll ever say
I’ll sit here and laugh and keep up my smiles
‘Damn hussies’
When inside
Inside this heart
The thought of losing you
Is the one thing on this earth
That breaks me
Bring me to tears
Wet
Hot
Honest

It breaks me already
That you can’t see
How much I appreciate you
Love you
Am grateful for everything you do
Am touched by you
Processed ice ..melted

You are such stuff as dreams are made of
You are my holy palmers kiss
My poet, my speaker, my lover, my friend
You are beyond what you know

If I ever lost you
Let you slip away
There’s no answering thought
I don’t know what I would do

You are so much
I cherish your every grain of substance
I cherish you
So close to my heart
You keep it warm
My light
My night
My rain
My essential

I love you.





Humble thanks for reading, or scrolling down skipping lines out of bordem, whatever the case may be *smiles and strolls away*



- Belli

[SJ]

Great poetry

[angel of salvation]

woo poems!

I loved the first one, all the emotion and um....emotion. Was great
The second one was great too, i loved the last verse...

You are so much
I cherish your every grain of substance
I cherish you
So close to my heart
You keep it warm
My light
My night
My rain
My essential

yay ness! Write more soon!

Jess xxx

[Renee85]

Belli, there’s no way anyone would skip any lines! The first one is really powerful, the feeling of being trapped as all these unwanted emotions overcome you, that’s scary. I can feel the need in the second one, loving someone so much that you wouldn’t know what to do if you ever lost that. These are great, post more soon.

Btw, I love these lines.

<You are my holy palmers kiss
My poet, my speaker, my lover, my friend
You are beyond what you know>>

[gabbles]

Dark paths taken down an equally dark mind
Stepping stones to sickness
Pathways to pain
Leading up a broken road
Veined with blood and lies

Holy Shit.

Scuse the language.

Bellie, I've said it before...you poetry moves me in a way I can't even put into words. I'm sitting here all choked up, just re-reading your poems, going 'holy God, this girl can write'

I worship your poetry; seriously. You have talent. It's so raw, filled with so much unsmothered emotion...not many writers can put that into their poetry...you have a unique gift.

Wow

*hugz*
~Gabs

[StaceAngel]

Heeeeey BABY! *tackles you then stabs your dream in the eye*

*notices the look you gave her* What?! Oh! oh! You're giving me the evil eye?! THAT WAS A ICKY DREAM! Sok, next time you have an icky dream, just call me, i'll grab the shankenator

That was so vivid, i never knew the details until i read that, and wow...you felt it too? I didnt know...definately gonna murder the buggering dream next time.

But the second one....WOAH! LIKE...WOAH!

I’ll sit here and laugh and keep up my smiles
‘Damn hussies’
When inside
Inside this heart
The thought of losing you
Is the one thing on this earth
That breaks me
Bring me to tears
Wet
Hot
Honest

I swear to God i did not intentionally come onto Svitlanka! She wooed me with the vodka and....and her uh....her butchness? Bleugh! no...*giggles*

This one seemed especially powerful and meaningful to me, it spoke so many words, well inbetween the lines, and even though they've been said a million times, thoughts, fears, love, everything....its never ceases to amaze me how well you write emotion.

And the losing part? Never. Never ever.....ever. Swear it. :x:x

I love you belli bear *giggles*

Stace xXx

[Belli Bear]

hello hello! okay.. so.. had some spare time this evening so i sat down and did some scribbles to clear my head.. they're really quite shocking and i cant believe i'm posting them buuut.. alas.. im sick of not posting lol but first! i believe i made a promise! individual feedback!:

SJ: *grins* THANKU SJ! I love getting your feedback! It’s awesome! I love comparing ours when we give feedback to other people haha! Like, I’ll write a thousand word essay and u’ll write six words that say exactly the same thing *rolls her eyes* alas I gotta learn to be concise!

Jessness: awwwh! Blushy face! Thankees jessness! They’re not as good as urs h I cant take advantage of funny words like ‘git’ and ‘wanker’.. its very distressing *frowns* ah well..

Renee: hiii! Thankyou so much *blushes* hehe.. yeah, the first one, inspired by a fuuuuucked up shitty dream I had a while ago and yeah.. *smiles and gets misty* lotsa need and love in the second one.. *le happy sigh* oh! my Shakespeare lines lol! I just randomly compiled all the lovey lines from different plays that I’d read haha! But yeah, im taking the credit for them coz pssssh, screw u William!

Lil G aka. G dawg aka. Gabby: (see look, im givin everyone lil PURPLE sheep! oh yeah.. i rock with remember stuffs!) u like g dawg? Its my new name for u I liiike it! aaanyway.. thanku thanku thanku, those lines are particular favourites of mine, whenever I read them I get all shivery and blehy.. *reads them* eeeeh… *grins* thanku so much for ur feedback, it gets me bouncy to know that ur a fan but pffffft, no talent lol, juuuust spare time and bordem lol.. oh! and hey! Watch that language! We’ve got fricken kids in here dammit! Let them read about suicide and violence and pain WITHOUT bad language if u please *rolls her eyes* jeeeez.. some people..

Baaaaaaaaby: stace angel of miiine *grins* how u doin sweetheart? I’m probably sleepn while ur reading this so *big wave* HIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! And hey! Lets all just calm down and forget about Svitlanka *growls* stupid foreign goatshagging blonde hoe bag! *gives u the hand* I NEVER thought u’d be one for the butch! *sighs* am I gna hafta get all butch now? *puts on her baggy jeans and ties a bandana around her head* *tones her arms and looks tough* okay! I am officially butch now! *growls* arrrrrrrrrrg.. oh.. *grins softly* I love you baby.. *special kisses*


so! *tightens her bandana* here we go!



Sunday Nights

I held your wrist
Gently as you trembled
Against my damp and stiffened neck

Blade shaking within your grasp
Desperate
Fingertips whitened
From their force and anger
It was with childish dread I noticed
You still bite your nails

I searched the red of your eyes
They would not look at me
What are you feeling?
The blade sunk deeper
A line of red appeared
So gently
Ever so gently
I held your wrist in silent protest
What are you doing?

“There’s always a way other than this”
Resting my forehead flat against yours
I whispered those words to you

My friend, I’ve known you for so many years
The pain is not pretend
Don’t you see?
Scars like that will refuse to fade

You set the knife down calmly
Collapsed against my chest
Cried a river from your worries
And went into my bed

You slept right through my panicked tears
- Another random Sunday night
You masked them with your own
- Another time of tangled thoughts
I cried right through the dawn

-

Take refuge in this heart
It knows nothing of the ways of life
But it will always keep you safe
Protected in its steady beats
If you listen it will tell you
Close your eyes love, it’ll show you
Touch me and I know you’ll feel it
I’m in love with you
And I will never let you go

-

So proud you were..
You stayed away
So was I
But it’s not enough
I know it seems as if it never is
But please
Understand
She’s going to break you
I hate to watch you bend under her touches
I hate to see your movements strain
If you could only believe
You’re worth so much more than that
I’m lead to wonder
If you ever will
Or really even want to

-

Never Ever Lies

Never ever lies..
The kind you tell
In order to never ever feel exposed
Never ever known
Never ever lies
Stacked like pancakes
Obese in your mistruths
Crunching down the matter of your existence
Or at least the purpose

A messy mind
Of futile thoughts
Wanders through a broken mind
Not quite stolen
Not entirely owned
Filled with days of happy lies

Deceitful feelings blossom
As the object sits
In this dark forsaken place
Of forgetting
Filled with thoughts
No body will ever know

-

Thankyou

Light a candle
You’re taking over
Ridding me of whatever it is that sits
Inside the dark, cold, dank
Areas
Of my existence

I find it hard to write now
You’d think that were bad..
But its not..
Its really not

Because now..
I can
Finally..
Rest.

I am
Finally
Safe.

And it's for this
I thank you..

I love you


as always.. *smiles and strolls away* thanku for reeeading


- Belli XxX

[gabbles]

Cr*p (see, i can not swear:P) Bellie, you did it again.

Your poems just...grab me. I wanna be able to put them into a book and carry it around with me so I can read it whenever the whim takes me (which wou;d be every few seconds;))

Deceitful feelings blossom
As the object sits
In this dark forsaken place
Of forgetting
Filled with thoughts
No body will ever know

Woah...Stace, do you mind if I worship this girl for awhile? Lol-Bellie, I want more! MORE I tell you!

Bellie, your poems are just filled wth such imagery and emotion, i swear, everytime I read them, they steal a part of my heart.

*hugz*
~Gabs aka Lil G

[StaceAngel]

CAFFEINEHIGHCAFFEINEHIGHCAFFEINEHIGHCAFFEINEHIGHCAFFEINEHIGHCAFFEINEHIGHCAFFEINEHIGH

ALL THIS CAFFEINE TO LEAVE YOU FEEDBACK!!! Shiiiit i have school tomorrow...

Anyway, CRAZY FB COS HECK I LOVE YOU!! <
I miss you :( All this pent up craziness over a week and i'm very shakey and on the verge of tears lol

OH! FEEDBACK! It just clicked! There was poems....okay...


Sunday Nights I need to be filled in on...But from what you've said there...how could i be angry? Just very...very worried, a lil scared...yeah tomorrow you'll have to explain...

Next one *looks back at her phone* made my day...*smiles lovingly* I dunno what else to say really...

Third one....you'll have to explain, i think i have an idea, but yeah, i'd like to know, if one of us remembers We always forget...

Never ever lies uh....did i miss alot? Or have i just not clicked onto stuff yet? lol *moves on*

Thankyou No thank YOU Thats a really annoying exchange of words after a while...uh, lets not. Hmmm, you said you couldn't write alot anymore, so that means less bad thoughts, more good ones? :D

Yes this feedback was crap! But well...no excuse...heh..

*holds her pillow* So tired...can that be an excuse? (btw, i've been trying to type this fb for 20 minutes, caffeine levels have sunk completely...)

I love you *smiles*

ETA: Sure Gabs, just be gentle and have her back by 10pm! *shines her watch* I'll be waaaatiiiing....

[SJ]

Great poems.

[angel of salvation]

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL *breaths* LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!
You updated!
*reads and bounces on chair*
oooooooo
I really like Saturday Nights...that gave me lil chills when i read it. its very good
and and i really like the last one...that was very cute
*points* more blushy faces for you heehee
the poem Never Ever Lies was nice. The imagery was cool.

aww bellie you can always take advantage of the funny english words like git...i suggest using brolly or knickers
hope you update again soon!

Jess xxx

[Belli Bear]

okay shooort update, waiting for stace to come home and im bored so i thought i'd take advantage of ur english words jessness i thought real hard bout who i could describe as brolly and git ! here u are!

yoooooou git..

I love the things you say
You speak of ‘anguish’ and ‘confusion’
And really seem to not understand
That you’re a fucking joke
And everybody knows it

I love the things you say
In desperate pleas for attention
For anyone that cares
Coated words of faux nonchalance
Shhh.. don’t stop to actually discover who you are

Contradictory
Hypocritical
So proud
No.. that’s not a good thing
Hyena stole a lion’s skin

Listen when I tell you
That you’re a fucking joke

I’m never one to put girls down
I hate it when it’s done
But you..
You need to be put in place
Because although it is funny
It’s also embarrassing…
Complete ignorance to the truth
Or perhaps
Denial..

I hope one day
You’ll finally understand
That you’re a fucking joke
A good for nothing brolly
And yeah..
Oh yeah..

Everybody
Knows it



there u go! it's horrible and crap but i dont care! im australian! english words are not meant to pass through my lips! *says trousers* eeeh! okay! ima goin, i'll try 2 think of more english words i can incorperate in my poems


- Belli! XxX

PS: *throws her hands up in the air* EXCUSE ME MISS LEE! Passing me around now are we? *sighs* fiiine fiiine.. whaaaatever.. lil G! take me out for icecream! i demand it now! hopefull lia will be there so i can get physical and hit her! mwahaha.. oh.. but we gotta be back by 10..hmmmmm.. lets make it a short fist fight yaaay!

[angel of salvation]

awww bless ya bell! short 'n' sweet. *claps*
trousers! brolly! git! knickers! shag! snog! *laughs*
i can't leave any more FB...it would just get weirder...

Jess xxx

[SJ]

Like that poem,great writing.

[Belli Bear]

*munches on her naan bread* right so.. *chews loudly* haven't updated in a while and i've written a few poems. They're not very good *rolls her eyes* but aaaahh well you'll live! Right? gooooood...




Dreams..
Her fragile dreams
Slowly built
Achingly slowly
Through protest’s of stiff muscles and sinew
Years of cold and isolation
Self degradation
Put to rest by her presence
For always..
Always..
And I trusted her.

A shattered soul
Now drops to the floor
Paper hearts fall mercilessly around
Tearing her apart in their plight
Dissolving as they come to rest

After weeks..
Weeks of torment
Weeks of torture
Self-mutilation too mundane a word
To adequately describe her experience

She sits
Attempting to word her feelings
Or lack there of..

Nothing
Everything being nothing
Blood running cold
Food left untouched
Tears shed unnoticed
Dead blue eyes
Pale lips
She never thought it would come to this
Never thought she’d be hurt like this..
Never thought..

And still she’d take her back..
At any sign of wanting..
With dead blue eyes
She’d suck it in all in..
And let her back inside
Her beaten, bloody body
And her burning heart


___________



Tears on my pillow..

Choke my sobs into the silk
Crystalline confessions of myself and my sins

My doubt and unrelenting questions

I whisper..
Please don’t ever leave me
But then..
Please don’t ever stay..

You shouldn’t
You really shouldn’t

It’ll be better that way..

I feel like I’m losing you
I pray every night I’m not

I whisper..
God keep her with me
But then..
God take her away

I can’t need you any more than I do
I can’t hurt any more than I do

My cries are so much louder
Than my shaking self can bear
I wish I had your delicate hands
Stroking through my hair
Weaving out my worries
So unstoppably afraid
Untangling my weary thoughts
And clearing up the mess I’ve made..



______________



Hanging off your words
You’re a smoky haze of indecision
I try and not provoke
I cannot help but want you
It’s something I’ll never try to correct
Though I’ll never ask you to stay..

We both know
We’re completely aware
We need to separate from each other once more
In the most painful way possible
All over again
But I’ll never ask you to stay..

Persuading
Pressuring
Persistent touches
I grind my teeth to hold them back

To hold myself back
From devouring you
Like I so desperately want to
I’ll never ask you though..
I know you can’t stay

Everything inside me screams
“Stay with me”
“Please don’t ever let me go”
But I’ll never ask you to stay..

And then I do.

And I am reborn from the ashes of your departure
Free to once again
Reach those distant levels
Of everything
That only we know exist.


__________


my light
my love
let me live
forever in the
space between
our lips.
I care for nothing
but your soul;
lyrical
beautiful
let me stay
there warm
gentle
safe inside
and I shall
forever remain
..your Isabell



*smiles at the last one*

Hope you enjoyed Take care of yourselves!!


*strolls away*


- Belli XxX

[Emms]

Hi Belli! wow, those were wonderful poems. I really liked the flow of
Tears on my pillow

this bit especially

My cries are so much louder
Than my shaking self can bear
I wish I had your delicate hands
Stroking through my hair
Weaving out my worries
So unstoppably afraid
Untangling my weary thoughts
And clearing up the mess I’ve made..

It has a resounding melancholy to it that is just breathtaking.

Thank you for sharing.

xoxo
Emms

[SJ]

Great poetry.

[gabbles]

BELLIENESS! YAY! I've misssssed your poetry hun! *bounces around like a sped* But I no longer have to missssss itttt.....!!!!!

Okay...moving on from the Gabsy-Is-A-Nut-Job evidence.

Sooo...poemness:

Dreams: Loved how it starts:

Dreams..
Her fragile dreams
Slowly built

It was so...calm. And kinda soothing. Lulling the reader into this peacefull state, then:

Years of cold and isolation
Self degradation

Led to 'uhoh'. And god, was 'uhoh' an understatement. This poem hurt, inside *points to heart*. It was amazingly written, this part got me especially:

A shattered soul
Now drops to the floor
Paper hearts fall mercilessly around

The paper hearts seemes like such an...innocent thing, to me. Like what we'd do in pre-school. It was such a contrast to the next part:

Tearing her apart in their plight
Dissolving as they come to rest

It just...worked. So well. And if I keep going with this poem I shall end up quoting the entire thing. God, it was so well written babe. Painfull and gritty and honest and real and powerful. An amazing peice of writing.

She’d suck it in all in..
And let her back inside
Her beaten, bloody body
And her burning heart

Ow....


Okay...

Poem Number Due: This poem is so conflicted, so confused...it's as if the girl is the reader...does that make sense? The way you write it somehow makes me feel like she is feeling. I feel as if I am her...

Choke my sobs into the silk
Crystalline confessions of myself and my sins

That blew me away.

I whisper..
God keep her with me
But then..
God take her away

You know how to write, and you know how to do it well.

The last lines, with the rhyming that was going on, just stuck in my head for so long after I read them...

So unstoppably afraid
Untangling my weary thoughts
And clearing up the mess I’ve made..

I just want to swoop in and save her.

Poem Number Three: This poem seemed like a song to me. Maybe you should try that? I think it would work brilliantly...its just so...wow.

Especially:

Free to once again
Reach those distant levels
Of everything
That only we know exist.

It just...spoke to me. This poem is filled with such yearning, yet such strength. It's an interesting combination, and you made it work. Loved it.

Poem Four: This one left me grinning. After the other, wistfull, yearning, sadnessey (yes, I'm re-working the english language) poems, this was just...so uplifting and...airy.

let me live
forever in the
space between
our lips.

I love that. Make it your signiture, it's beautiful.

and I shall
forever remain
..your Isabell

Warm fuzzies, darlin', warm fuzzies. This poem was so sweet, and innocent, while alluding at a....passion?...it was beautiful.



Bellie, Oh Amazing Poet, I hand you the 'Heart String Tugger' badge. You're writing's amazing, and you put such raw emotion into such beautiful words....it leaves me gasping.

I demand more regular poemness! I want to give you a medal. No! A trophy!

*hugz*
~Gabs

[angel of salvation]

oo poems *reads*

wow they were all equally good. Me like. But my fav was.....*thinks* the last one. That was pwetty....me like.

The first one...Um...Dreams...that was good:

And still she’d take her back..
At any sign of wanting..
With dead blue eyes
She’d suck it in all in..
And let her back inside
Her beaten, bloody body
And her burning heart

That was my fav bit. I don't know why exactly but it is.

Choke my sobs into the silk
Crystalline confessions of myself and my sins

That was my fav bit in the second poem...Tears on my pillow. Short and bold.

Um...I can't think anymore about stuff to write...cuz its all good so i shall leave it at that.
bye bye.

Jess xxx

[StaceAngel]

All this marvellous feedback! There is no way i can compete with all this So! Bubbly feedback you say? OKAY! IF YOU SAY SO!

*runs over to you and sits on your lap, bouncing a bit and controls the mouse*



So....this first one breaks my heart I shouldn't have ever suggested that situation, it never really occured to me that i'd have to read the poem myself *rolls eyes*.

A shattered soul
Now drops to the floor
Paper hearts fall mercilessly around
Tearing her apart in their plight
Dissolving as they come to rest

This is so powerful i cant even explain *fidgets a lil* Uh, yes! The way they dissolved as they hit the ground was so...tragic. Like the end of a love story and everything being torn to shreds. Kinda like Finding Nemo when Coral dies and the horrible eerie silence falls around Marlin and wow... Um, okay i know that had NOTHING to do with it but it was sad....we should watch it together soon! And everytime something happens and you say it in advance i can yell at you for telling me even though i've seen it a bagillion times

*looks around to see a huuuge amount of people eyeballing her*

POEMS!

Anyway, the whole of that first one...shows you can still write any emotion even if you havent experienced it or indeed that frame of mind. *smiles*

BUT! The end of it I will nip that in the bud before it has a chance to develop.


The next one *plays with her hands as she looks at you* Hard subject..common emotion on both parts and eeehh... That was a hard realisation, i cant believe it hit you the way it did, i thought you had grasped the full reality of the situation and gah...that was so horrible. I'm sorry.

My cries are so much louder
Than my shaking self can bear
I wish I had your delicate hands
Stroking through my hair
Weaving out my worries
So unstoppably afraid
Untangling my weary thoughts
And clearing up the mess I’ve made..

What strikes me is how brave you actually are...that and how fast your moods change Five minutes later you were peppy and dancing around i was all scuse me...?
But see- ITS ONLY TEMPORARY!! Soon my babyness.... soon...


*wiggles on your lap and holds your nose* Do you have a cold? I hope you dont *lets go*

Uh...ah yes! NEXT!

This next one is how much we hate leaving each other....its a bit depressing the the rendevous point is ALWAYS the same And i always ask you if you want me to stay, and you say 'no' and thats code for 'yes'....itsa Belli code... iiii dunno!

Persuading
Pressuring
Persistent touches
I grind my teeth to hold them back

*grins* Persistant touches huh? THEY'RE HELD BACK?!

I guess they have to be otherwise we'd never leave

Everything inside me screams
“Stay with me”
“Please don’t ever let me go”
But I’ll never ask you to stay..

And then I do.

Was this written straight after i left that night....when i asked you if you wanted me to stay and you said yes?
Uh, okay that sounds pretty pathetic and a stupid question to ask, but you know what i mean that time! You know it? *watches you nod slowly*

YES! THEN!

Okay...oh the next one I dont have it on my phone anymore and now my phone feels foreign! I hate it lol, but see how i kept it on my comp This is one of the best poems you have ever written. Its so amazingly simple, and that makes it beautiful.

my light
my love
let me live
forever in the
space between
our lips.
I care for nothing
but your soul;
lyrical
beautiful
let me stay
there warm
gentle
safe inside
and I shall
forever remain
..your Isabell

I just cant pick a part out, its all...its just...it wouldnt be what it is, if it was pulled apart. It needs to be whole. You sent this to me when i was in Spain *smiles* You have no idea how much that made my day...*sighs lovingly* I so love you....

I love how you made it up on the spot In your living room...on your recliner...


Okay its silly pointless feedback, but you said you wanted it no matter how it looked or the content SO! Here it is

*jumps off of your lap and runs away* Damn i need a driiiiink...

Love you...

Your Angel xXx

[Belli Bear]

I'm exhausted and so i can't do individual reply's this time, but i promise i will next time. Two additions this update..


*shuffles nervously for a moment* right.. here we go

you know those thoughts.. those thoughts you've tried to ignore for so long without really knowing why? I wrote them all down.. these span years of my life right up to today..


The Wreckage

I feel so alone
Locked within the confines of my mind
Glimmers of inspiration lost to inopportunity
Are they the only things within me that are real?
Sometimes I get so scared, that all of this is only skin-deep
That I am only skin-deep
So many things have happened..
I wish I knew where to begin
Every time I try to reach within myself
And touch what I think is my soul
It just.. Disappears
I want to wake up and be better
Be a better girl
A real girl
I feel as if I’ve been sick all my life
I feel sick as I type down these thoughts
Bile and fear and an aching kind of scaredness rise within me
My fingers stall for the briefest of seconds
Is that the only real moment of my day?
Of my life?
I try not to edit as I type
This is a time for self-discovery
I wish I could turn the spell check off
So I could see my thoughts for what they are
Unedited and flawed
I wish so hard some days and nights
That I could just.. meet me and know who I am
So that I could be what those around me see
That girl that smiles and laughs and knows things
I really don’t know anything
Nothing that matters
Not really..
I grasp for myself..
My fingertips touch a type of solidarity
And then..
Nothing
I am nothing
I am only skin-deep
I am suddenly more afraid then I’ve ever been before
And there it is..
A feeling?
I am born through my fear
I exist within it
And so I will never let it go
Tears well up in my eyes as I accept this sad sad truth
I don’t want this to be happening
But if I let it go..
Cast off this protection
What will be left of me
But what I am?
..Nothing





The Reformation

A breath escapes my mouth
As I struggle to keep my façade
I’m never alone
But then..
That’s not true at all..
My efforts and energy wane
My fingers start to ache
It can be so tiring
Trying to reach some form of conclusion
Over who you are
What you are
(Though all of you know this already)
Who am I?
I think I remember this part from a dream
But then..
Nothing else is clear
I hate that about dreams
There’s always the fuzz
The fuzz is always the best bit
And I wonder if that’s deliberate
I have a confession to make
Something terrible has happened
I have fallen in love
Not the kind I can lie within
Or about
But real
Raw
Painful
Beautiful
Healing
Love
And it hurts so bad some nights
Every night
In so many different ways
It just hurts
So bad
But there it is
I’ve fallen in love
And all my lies
And my protection
I need to cast them off
Swallow down my fear
Push it down so far
There must be room inside my empty self for it to rest
Dormant
Maybe one day we’ll make it go away together
But for now
It’s there
We both know it
But she doesn’t mind
And I love her even more for that
I convince myself that it’s okay
But not with a three page thought-poem
Or hours of self-speak
It’s just by hearing her say those treasured words
Hearing her and listening
And believing
And no
It’s not ‘i love you’
I’ve had that said
So many times before
Most of them were truthful I suppose
It means more from her though
Because I want her to love me like she does
God I need her to..
But no..
It’s not that
It’s after we’ve been apart
And my mind has had time to deform itself once more
A type of self-destruction I’m sure isn’t very rare
It comes after that
When she tells me this
And I die and live and finally exist
Through her need for me
And her love
And everything that she’ll ever be
With me and without
‘I’ve missed you..’
And so it’s with that and the welcome sting of real tears
I close again
~


*falls into bed* enjoy your day/night and such

i love you angel look.. i got you one that blooms over and over.. arent i the best girlfriend in the world? mm thought so *snuggles her pillows and passes out* uuuhhhuu


- Belli XxX

[SJ]

I like the raw and honest emotion in your poetry,great writing

[gabbles]

BEEELLLLIIIIIEEEEE!!! *runs in panting and falls down exausted* I'm here! REALLY late, but I'm heeereeee!

Okay, on to the feedback...first off, I just want to say: and a few more:

You are officially my idol, woman!

Jesus, the raw emotion within these two poems. My heart ached babe. Like, ow.

The Wreckage:

Glimmers of inspiration lost to inopportunity
Are they the only things within me that are real?

That hurt. It seems like such a universal fear: lost insirations, washed up in a persons life. Feeling like those are all that make you up. But that way you wrote it. *holds hand over heart*

I want to wake up and be better
Be a better girl
A real girl

I almost burst into tears at that line. It just struck such a cord in me. It brought such a vivid image into my mind, I wont even try to explain it...just...god...

That I could just.. meet me and know who I am
So that I could be what those around me see
That girl that smiles and laughs and knows things
I really don’t know anything
Nothing that matters
Not really..

Are you trying to break me? Again with the tears. Damn, I wish I could write with emotion such as that. That line "Be what those around me see, That girl that smiles and laughs and knows things" it just screams with hurt and...something else...at not being able to be what everyone thinks of you, or of being a failure in your own eyes...*hugz*.

I am born through my fear
I exist within it
And so I will never let it go
Tears well up in my eyes as I accept this sad sad truth

That one leaves me with no words. Just...wow.

This poem is filled, to me, with so much fear. Lonelyness. Pain. This one got me choked up and left me that way for so long. Brilliant writing hun, so emotive and raw.

So...The Reformation.

It can be so tiring
Trying to reach some form of conclusion
Over who you are
What you are
(Though all of you know this already)

I love how this poem is written. Adressing the reader. The repition and alliteration, too, that exists within it also adds so much to it.

I have a confession to make
Something terrible has happened
I have fallen in love
Not the kind I can lie within
Or about
But real
Raw
Painful
Beautiful
Healing
Love

Just the way that's written. The lines staring off longer, and the wording "something terrible has happened...I have fallen in love" makes the reader wonder why this is such a terrible thing. Then the next few lines, now short and clipped; this change is brilliant. And then the words '[can't] lie within, or about'. Denial cannot exist, and the words 'real, raw, painful' can explain why Love can be a terrible thing, something to fear. However, then you add the words 'Beautiful, healing' showing the side to love that makes it something not terrible.

But there it is
I’ve fallen in love
And all my lies
And my protection
I need to cast them off

With love must come truth.

But for now
It’s there
We both know it
But she doesn’t mind
And I love her even more for that

Someone incredibly special, I can tell.

And my mind has had time to deform itself once more
A type of self-destruction I’m sure isn’t very rare

Love those two lines.

And I die and live and finally exist
Through her need for me

I love how this poem shows how pain comes with love, but it aids it more then destroys it. Does that make sense at all? hehe

I close again

Excellent last line.

Good God, Bellie, that poem was enough to tear me in two. Beautifully done, showing something so vulnerable but so strong at the same time.

Absolutely loved them.

*hugz*
~Gabs

[gabbles]

BEEELLLLIIIIIEEEEE!!! *runs in panting and falls down exausted* I'm here! REALLY late, but I'm heeereeee!

Okay, on to the feedback...first off, I just want to say: and a few more:

You are officially my idol, woman!

Jesus, the raw emotion within these two poems. My heart ached babe. Like, ow.

The Wreckage:

Glimmers of inspiration lost to inopportunity
Are they the only things within me that are real?

That hurt. It seems like such a universal fear: lost insirations, washed up in a persons life. Feeling like those are all that make you up. But that way you wrote it. *holds hand over heart*

I want to wake up and be better
Be a better girl
A real girl

I almost burst into tears at that line. It just struck such a cord in me. It brought such a vivid image into my mind, I wont even try to explain it...just...god...

That I could just.. meet me and know who I am
So that I could be what those around me see
That girl that smiles and laughs and knows things
I really don’t know anything
Nothing that matters
Not really..

Are you trying to break me? Again with the tears. Damn, I wish I could write with emotion such as that. That line "Be what those around me see, That girl that smiles and laughs and knows things" it just screams with hurt and...something else...at not being able to be what everyone thinks of you, or of being a failure in your own eyes...*hugz*.

I am born through my fear
I exist within it
And so I will never let it go
Tears well up in my eyes as I accept this sad sad truth

That one leaves me with no words. Just...wow.

This poem is filled, to me, with so much fear. Lonelyness. Pain. This one got me choked up and left me that way for so long. Brilliant writing hun, so emotive and raw.

So...The Reformation.

It can be so tiring
Trying to reach some form of conclusion
Over who you are
What you are
(Though all of you know this already)

I love how this poem is written. Adressing the reader. The repition and alliteration, too, that exists within it also adds so much to it.

I have a confession to make
Something terrible has happened
I have fallen in love
Not the kind I can lie within
Or about
But real
Raw
Painful
Beautiful
Healing
Love

Just the way that's written. The lines staring off longer, and the wording "something terrible has happened...I have fallen in love" makes the reader wonder why this is such a terrible thing. Then the next few lines, now short and clipped; this change is brilliant. And then the words '[can't] lie within, or about'. Denial cannot exist, and the words 'real, raw, painful' can explain why Love can be a terrible thing, something to fear. However, then you add the words 'Beautiful, healing' showing the side to love that makes it something not terrible.

But there it is
I’ve fallen in love
And all my lies
And my protection
I need to cast them off

With love must come truth.

But for now
It’s there
We both know it
But she doesn’t mind
And I love her even more for that

Someone incredibly special, I can tell.

And my mind has had time to deform itself once more
A type of self-destruction I’m sure isn’t very rare

Love those two lines.

And I die and live and finally exist
Through her need for me

I love how this poem shows how pain comes with love, but it aids it more then destroys it. Does that make sense at all? hehe

I close again

Excellent last line.

Good God, Bellie, that poem was enough to tear me in two. Beautifully done, showing something so vulnerable but so strong at the same time.

Absolutely loved them.

*hugz*
~Gabs