New Fic - Neverland

[sam]

They got to talk a little bit..now they just need to figure more things out . Wonderful update. Love sam xx

[ShallowLikeUs]

Pfft! Bah! Gah! Various sounds of frustration...

Great Update. They can be fighting, and not know it, then also without knowing it, make up with each other. Which should be an obvious thing to them that there's something...I don't know... going on...like... you know... them being in love with each other...

It's amazing that Tara can have this internal battle with herself. The whole "Petty and Petulant Tara..." The repition of that was genious. And Tara telling herself that she could be a different person. And then countering it with her not really knowing if that's what she wants. Tara keeps getting so close to this big secret. Like there's this wall of Seran wrap, and she's pushing through it, but it never breaks cause that stuff is just obnoxious. And so she can touch on this huge secret that Willow has, and she can touch it, but it's still left so distorted by the wrap that she turns off into another direction, groping for something else.

Finally though we begin to see Willow opening up to Tara, being more honest, even though she can't tell her yet. And Tara. Making an Ass out of her and Xander much? Well... not really an ass... just.. Assuming much. (Yes yes... instead of being a normal person and saying "Make an ass out of you and me." I say.. "Make an ass out of you and Xander.")

Tara. It's right there!!! Willow needing moral support to talk to her mom, yeah understandable. But usually Buffy could be that moral support. So why would she need it from Xander? Come on! Fit the puzzle together. It's not that hard!! Though, I might think that because, we you know, have all this insight to the thoughts of the characters. But, everyone else can see it but them. Even in the story.

It's interesting, how the 'date' with Morgan is going to happen before the weekend. Before Willow has a chance to tell everyone. Tara keeps coming back to this thought of asking Willow to move out, and though, that would break Willow's heart, and discourage her. She would still have to come out. And honestly I think she still would do just that, because she's not just doing it to be with Tara. She's doing it because it's who she is. And there's a chance that her mother just won't accept it. She'll really need a friend after that, and well, Buffy may not be all with the friendly. Because Xander knew before. But finally it comes out that there is tension between Xander and Buffy. We all knew it, but Willow did not. And now she know's all is not right.

I fear the update of Anya. While I love Anya dearly. And I whole heartedly believe that she is priceless. She always knows what to say. Only she lacks the tact to make it constructive. And knowing Anya, she'll say something about how Willow wants to have sex with Tara, and Willow will have to deny it. Even though it's totally true. Or she could maybe think of a way to either not answer the question. Or answer it with an ambiguous 'yes Anya...I want to have sex with Tara...'

I've digressed a bit, and I fear I've done nothing more than ramble away my thoughts. And perhaps have left nothing constructive behind in my wake. Though I also haven't been deconstructive. I don't think... But here goes with construction. I think it sucks!

How you do this thing...where you post the update and leave everything hanging in the balance. I hate cliff hangers. I mean, I can take good cliff hangers. By that I mean... You know Buffy's fighting the bad guy and he tells her that it's not all about her and she realizes her friends are in danger and she gets to the library and Kendra's dead and Willow's under a book case, Giles is missing, Cordelia's in a different county, and Xander is knocked out...But we all know she's gunna kick serious Angelus butt in the next episode. We know the world won't end. But you... You're good. What sucks is that you are such a talented writer. And it sucks for all of us reading, cause we're frustrated that they just don't figure it out and get with the kisses and gay love. It's real. This is what people in real life are like. It's not this... 'I saw you from the other side of the club...our eyes met...let's go do it like bunnies and spend the rest of forever together.' While those fic's are always nice, and angst free...they lack in verisimilitude. Which is one of the most important things in writing. You've taken these characters out of the context we all know, and yet they're still real. They're still what we know, yet they're different. I think I may sound stupid now. It's you know, 9:30 am...and I'm kind of drugged up on nyquil, still left over from last night...and I have this paper to write for my 12:30 class...yet instead I discovered, YAY!, an update to one of my favorite fics. And I'm sorta...dizzy and lightheaded, and really really sleepy...and with the feeling all blechy...More updatey please?!

It's a great fiction. Really great. I usually find flaws in everything I read, always. I always find something that irks me. The only flaw I can find here, may possibly be a misplaces comma or something of the sort. The fact that I can't read it straight through...that's the only irksome thing I can find. But that's okay.

Wonderful work...and this little guy keeps catching my attention
So...well...I feel like a kid with ADD...oh wait...I am. But he keeps making me look to the side from what I'm typing...and so I just need to put him in



-Dani

[StarCat]

Finally things are starting to slowly come out into the open. The way they are able to talk now about some of the stuff going on in their heads, it shows how close they have become. You had me on the edge on my seat when they where finally talking about Xander. I almost slipped off the chair and hit my head on the desk Now that's writting When you can nearly kill your readers.

Now for trip to Anya's, I am going to have to wear a helmet. Just to be safe.

[onlyhalfevil]

wow man. this part was fantastic! you made me feel genuinely awful on willow's behalf when her initial attempts to talk were constantly rebuffed by tara -- your knack for writing realistic dialogue and evocative describing of feelings is still so amazing.

and then you made it flow into a happy ending, with all that sharing between them -- i think it's a huge step forward when you can admit what you really didn't like about something to someone whom you want to love you, when she asked you to it -- and letting us in on a little bit more of that mystery day in the park.

yay it's all good now! looking forward to anya and her blunt observations

[AlysonGoddess]

Yay An Update!!!!! Dont have much to say other then please continue!! I really enjoyed this update so update soon please please please!!!

xx peace xx

Erin

[Keops.]

great! great! great! (great update so to say) although i have to say you're torturing us with all that emotional angst, can't say i'm not loving it! very good work, please continue!! xxx

Keops.

[irishgrl3]

Heather,
Wow, I really loved this chapter!

There was so much going in just a few short walked blocks. So many things said and so many more things that were almost said. Those girls are so close to being "there", I can feel it!

I thought at first Willow might have worked herself into a corner and was going to have to fess up about her feelings when she began to talk about the party. What an interesting conversation that was! I figured Tara may have picked up a bit of Willow’s jealously when she was talking about Morgan, but no such luck.

A trip to Anya’s store will prove interesting I’m sure. I for one can’t wait. I’m hoping that "Queen No-Tact" might throw out a few bones to make Willow and Tara see a few things about themselves with regards to each other. Despite Anya's crudeness there is the fact that what she says is mostly true.

Other wise we still have to get through a non-date with Morgan and Xander possibly coming to visit and we all know how badly these two handle these situations.

Wonderful update!
Take care,
anna

[the hero factor]

Notes: This is the longest errand EVER!!! *sigh* Sorry guys -- Anya part in a few days...

So long as we keep getting great updates like this one, you can take as long as you like with the errand.

Poor Tara in this one, she was so confused about the Willow-Xander situation. And poor Willow, trying to explain without really explaining. At least they talked and seemed less angsty and more happy at the end.

"Yeah," Willow replied with a nod of her head, hoping her voice seemed strong, unconflicted. "She just.... She's hard to please, sometimes."

"She'd be crazy to not be pleased with you."

The redhead turned and shot a beaming smile at her roommate. "Thanks," Willow said, her heart fluttering at Tara's confidence in her.

"N-No problem," Tara replied, her own heart wildly beating in her chest at Willow's sparkling smile.

Aww. They're so cute.

More on the 'Day in the Park.' I love how we're getting it a little at a time. It seems to me that Willow must have gone to visit Buffy, but for some reason Buffy wasn't able to, or just didn't, spend time with Willow ('I didn't come here to be forgotten'). So, she hung out with Tara. Before, I was thinking that during their time hanging out, they talked, and Tara described her 'ideal woman.' But now it seems that Willow somehow made Tara feel bad, and Tara made up her 'ideal woman' ideal. Now I'm curious about what Willow said to hurt Tara.

Looking forward to more.

[Artemis]

Okay, first of all, I really want to compliment you on your use of the common comma. I mean, picking a particular phrase from Willow - under normal comma-circumstances:
"I didn't fit in, don't usually fit in, at parties"
...but by putting the extra commas in:
"I didn't fit in, don't, usually, fit in, at parties"
...it becomes so clear how Willow is speaking, with these tiny hesitations, indications that she's hearing what she's saying, modifying it as she goes. You write dialogue really, really well - rather than punctuation just being there in its predefined, boring, required positions, you use it to convey the subtleties of a person talking, to hint at what's behind the words. It goes a long way to bridging the gap between text and an actual voice. You've got a really artistic touch

Now, on to what was said... hoo boy, there's a lot. I liked the reference to Tara wanting to go back to her studio and do some thinking. On the one hand, it's a lovely image, her getting lost in her thoughts and using the studio and her art kind of like meditation... but also, she has a lot to think about. I don't know if Willow really managed to convey, without saying it, what she's going through in the angsty lead-up to coming out to Buffy and her mother. But what she did do, unknowingly, is throw Tara's misconceptions about Xander into disarray. The way I read it, Tara's got to either conclude that Willow's in some kind of denial brain-lock with regards to Xander, or there's something very vital to the situation that she (Tara) hasn't guessed. I wonder how much of Willow's behaviour Tara will be mentally re-assessing once she has a chance to slow down and think?

Once she has the chance, of course - they're about to meet Anya I'm getting the feeling that stepping into the shop is going to be kind of like picking a random particle out of a nucelar accelerator: there's no knowing which way it will fly. Will Anya's trademark bluntness foul things up between our would-be lovebirds, or will Willow unwittingly be blustered into giving something away to Tara, or vice versa? Could be anything - I don't think there's any way I could predict it.

A little more background between the two of them, also - it dribbles out in bits and pieces, and not only that, now it seems we have to go back and re-analyse everything (just as Tara may do with regards to Xander). So, Tara's 'ideal woman' was a hurt response to Willow? Man, these two have so much to clear up between the two of them

[willowspiritus]

I hate to see our girls "fighting" but it leads to clearity and goodness Very nice update with both of them opening up a little. Cant wait to see what Anya will do to them! Thanks again and no it is not torture that your story is so long and wonderful.

[WillowRulez]

As much as I like you teasing and torturing us (well, that came out kinda wrong... )... please post the Sheila visit soon!
Loved it. As usual.

[Leprechaun]

Oh Happy joyous fantastic sunshing day; Neverland has been updated and loaded with angst. It doesn't get any better!

I'm not a new reader just one coming out of the preverbial woodwork and I think it was in part due to this fic, I couldn't keep my joy to myself. Thanks for sharing such a wonderfully written and emotive piece of work. Please post soon so that I can ponder whether to pour over it and read it voraciously or perhaps savour it and save it for one of those late and lonely nights.

Anyway, thanks again and I will continue to read as long as you post.

Leprechaun

[NeTGiRL]

I LOVE YOU FOR THE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Clears throat*

uhh.. i mean.. Woo and Hoo?

i've been doing some catching up.. and can i say this is one great fic?

update! me want more! <
this is really killing me>> Tara thinking that Willow and Xander are together!!! that is soooo never gonna happen!!!

*is about to hit Tara's arm but changes mind. gives her a kiss instead*
snap out of it!! can't you see it??? she's in love with you!!!

and Willow..

*snatches her phone and throws it to the river*
YIPEEEE!!!

more pweeeez!!!

Kirstin

[wimpy0729]

Hey Heather! Wow, you weren't kidding when you said this was the longest errand ever. But you know what--I think this errand has really shone some light on some previous events/confusion for the girls. Well, at least partly. I'm so glad they're finally talking about this stuff. Tara will have some real thinking to do when she gets home and lets some of Willow's words sink in, i.e. Willow's "life stuff". If only Tara knew. *sigh*

Also, I must wholeheartedly agree with what Chris said about your use of the comma. In your writing, it is absolutely bringing Willow to life for us readers. Tara too. I can just see their every movement, facial expression and body language--closing off and opening up. Oh, I wish I could see more of them opening up, emotionally and physically. And the visual of them walking on the street in the cold...we are right there with them. Makes me need to put on my jacket.

Anyway, my dear Heather, once again you tortured us so completely and gave us so much pleasure in doing so. You are, without a doubt, the official Mistress of Pain.

I will just bundle up from the chill and anxiously await their visit with Anya. Who knows what will happen next? I sure don't!

Oh yeah...I may have been doing other things during my useless Fic Rehab. Gotta love those conjugal visits!

Can't wait to see what's next!

Wimpy

[For The Love of Tara]

I absolutely love this story! I've been reading it from the start and I have to say you are one of the best writers out there. You capture the characters so well and your style of writing is absolutely outstanding. I love it!

[The_Lord_J]

This is me DeLurking: okay, I've been following this fic for SOME time now, and was beginning to get update-withdrawal symptoms...but thankfully I've now had my fix and can get on with life.

One word: Awesome. Absolutely awesome.

Ok, so that's two, but who cares? I think this fic holds various records for this board, e.g.:

Fic with the most misunderstandings
Fic that keeps W&T apart for the longest time
Fic that causes the mose frustration to kittens...

[Guppy]

AAHHHHHHH!! Update! This story just keeps getting better! I see more lights coming on. Tara's puzzled about the relationship with Xander, finally questioning what it actually is. Willow finally kinda vocalized a tiny bit of what actually was going on at the party.

We should be happy, I mean, look at all of these happy people." The girls looked around, noticing the scowls on the passerbye's faces. "Well, except, for the people who are going to work..." Willow amended, sheepishly looking around, "or, the ones that are cold."

I laughed out loud at that, my sister looked at me really weird. The visit to Anya will be interesting. I can't wait to see if any more air gets filled. Thank you very much for updating again!

[fabouly]

can't believe it... after so many parts i'm still completely amazed by every new one!

so first of all:

i'd even say, your writting - or better, the way and pace of your story-development improved over - say - the last third. and i already thought it was brilliant before...

you rock!

-fab

[captain_katie]

I have to admit it took me a bit to really get back into the story, probably should have reread some of what went before... but when I did get into it boy did! oooh poor Tara and poor Willow... people's fear is such a hinderance to the truth and of course them being sweeties and cuddling and else things.

What I love and have always loved about this story is the pacing. It's slow, lovely and excrutiatingly slow... It feels like the weekend will never come and I love it. It's sad when it takes one chapter of angst and then their all sexing it up.

I cannot wait until the next update, mmmm Anya! Much anticipation for this interaction perhaps altercation.

[firerancher]

I've been readint this fic for a few years now...coming back to check 'Through the Looking Glass' solely for this purpose. A well structured plot line, and suspense...keeps me coming back for more...and that's a large compliment b/c I'm a picky picky grammatician and linguist. Kudos! Keep 'em coming!

[pipsberg]

H-

Another amazing update! I love seeing movement on this story. I am sure it's not your evil girlfriend who has caused you to not write as much as you want to...

What I loved most about this update is that you managed to answer a lot of Tara's questions without really answering anything. Willow and Tara have in essence reached an understanding... but they aren't sure about what! I love the frustration that this brings. Your dialogue is amazing, as always, and just pulls me is as I read like I was speaking or hearing it for myself.

Though I too am eager to see more resolution to their situation, I absolutely adore the detail and precision that you incorporate in every update. An hour in Neverland has the depth and detail of a whole story. It's as if each update is a mini-story of it's own, yet each piece weaves back together. So, the take away here is... please don't rush this! I love every agonizing, frustrating bit of it. Thanks again!

[tarawhipped]

I could probably stew over this update for another week and still not know what to say, Heather, but I don't want to miss leaving feedback again, and am secretly (or, well...not secretly since I'm fessing up) hoping that an update will magically appear after I write this.

Most of this update was truly unpleasant to read, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. I have never been so uncomfortable and squirmed so much while reading a fic as I did for this part...my stomach was in knots for hours afterward. But the way that you took them from uncomfortable silence to hurt feelings and defensiveness to snippiness and finally to an understanding was fucking amazing. Even though much of what they're feeling remains unspoken, it really does feel like a pivotal turning point was err...turned at this point. I know it's far from over, Miss Easier "make us think they can't possibly go another minute without lightbulbs going off and then fling them into a dark abyss of doubt and fear and yucky slimey...stuff" Said, but I'll take this tiny bit of progress.

I have hopes that Anya's bluntness will move things along further, but I have to warn you that if the next update takes place in its entirety between the door of the shop and actually talking with Anya, I plan to launch a boycott til it's done! (only not really cause you know I couldn't possibly stay away). I'm more intrigued than ever about that Damn Day in the Park...I've been under the assumption all along that it was all good between them, and now to find out that it ended with ookie badness...you got some 'splainin' to do (which I'm sure you'll get around to in your own time, the alleged evilness of your gf notwithstanding ).

Take care, buddy! And no...I am not PHL...though I aspire to that level of weirdness.
-Cam

[will]

This fic is one of the best i read i really like it you do a really great job and i really hope you will update soon please

[luv4willtara]

Hey Heather! I was sorry to hear that I wasn't going to be allowed to be your love slave! But hey, I'll settle for a fellow W/T lover! So yeah... again I must comment on how wonderful this fic is! You write so wonderfully and every word I read just... I don't know... it always keeps me so 'in the fic'! The whole conversation about the party totally broke my heart! I wanted to punch my computer when I got to the end of the update because I just sooooooooo wanted to know what happened with Anya! Well, I shall sit by my computer, and not leave until I get an update!! Think, the longer it takes you to update, the longer I go without a shower!!!! So, I say you better hurry up and update!!!

Your biggest fan EVER!!!!
Katie aka Luv4WIllTara

[dreamin of my rainbow]

*leaps around frantically* OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!!!! lol i havent been here since like...*counts the months*...august! and woot! im greeted with TWO updates! Id like to say, yet again that you are one of the BEST writers ever! one of the only reasons i browse around here anymore is to read your fic....oh....yea...you probably dont know my name...Ive never posted a comment on her on it before....Im heather...*munchkin flavoured jellybeans* "D...well anyhoo!...you do write terrifically...Fantastically! WONDERFULLY...i cant wait for an update! i hope that you write one soon!....btw...I dont think i said it earlier but these updates were WONDERFUl.."D...anyhoo...peace out

-Heather

[dragonfly]

Hello there,
Ok, I finally had some time to come and check on this marvelous story.

Well, not a lot to say that's not been said above. I'm very happy the girls are talking, asking questions, and in the let's just enjoy the time together. I didn't like Willow's hesitance, but understandable because being in the middle of the street discussing this kind of serious topics, not the best. Hopefully soon, they will sit and laugh at how clueless they've been.
I have a wonderful time reading this, as I read I remember things that happened to me and realize I can't blame them for being so clueless when heck I've been, and misreading sings, getting half of what's really going on, hey I'm an expert here.

I must tell you, one of the reasons I love Neverland is because you describe everything with so much detail that I can easily picture it in my head, I've never been in San Francisco, and feel so familiar with the city that I'm considering heading there on my next vacation trip, I want to experience it first hand.
Same happens when you walk us through the paintings, simply amazing!
Next stop should be interesting and funny. I can't wait to read more.

Thank you very much.
Take good care of yourself. Hope everything is well in your life.
Love,
Clau

[potential_angel]

I sort of only just stumbled onto your story and have spent the last two days reading your fic and I think the only word to describe it is WOW!

I've read a lot of fics where Willow and Tara meet each other and they are both in love with each other but are completely oblivous but I have to say this is the best out of all of them. In fac this is one of the best pieces of fanfiction that I've ever read. You've managed to draw it out in a believeable way but still you keep the readers interested. Though I have to say it is frustrating when all you want them to do is get together but the way you've not rushed it means that when they eventually do get together people will be jumping up and down, well I dont know about everyone else but I'll probably be cheering.

keep up the fantastic fic

Mel

[Kajun]

This is such an emotion packed update filled with much angst.. but also hope. Something both girls need, as do we all. And it is beautifully written.. as always!

Her words were so similar to three years earlier, when stung by Willow's emphatic denigration of their shared day in the park, the blonde had described her ideal woman to the redhead; basically, everything she knew Willow not to be.

So now we have a bit more info about that day in the park. Thank you! My guess: Tara overheard a comment Willow made (while on the damn phone!!) to Buffy, but as things always seem to go.. Tara misinterpreted the content of the conversation much like Willow’s Friday night conversation (while on the damn phone, again!!) with Xander, and got her feelings hurt in the process. She retaliated and here they are.. three years worth of misunderstandings and well kept secrets later.

How do I fix whatever this is?

If I had the answer to that.. well.. anyhoo.. Willow is doing everything possible to “fix” whatever is going on with Tara. Unfortunately for her, Miss Mislabeled Butt is the real problem. But Tara was finally brave enough to start asking questions despite thinking it’s not her place to get involved. Her thinking it’s not her place seems strange to me because they are friends after all. Tara doesn’t feel their relationship is much more than just temporary roomies? Even after cake, baubles given, titles revealed etc.? How sad. But it seems that changed during this slightly reveal-y day of playing hooky. After getting paint, Tara can retreat to her studio, pop in Willow’s CD and reflect on their previous conversations. (Plural coz I’m hopeful! ) I’d love to see Tara get at least a little suspicious that Willow might not be quite as ‘straight’ as she was led to believe. It would be totally awesome if she figured it out and ended up helping Willow come out to Buffy and Sheila!

"Sometimes, it's nice to talk to someone who really gets you." Someone unlike, oh, say for instance, me, the redhead tacked on internally, looking up at the building across from them.

ARG. Tara ‘gets’ Willow.. and Willow ‘gets’ Tara.. but neither of them ‘get’ it. When they do.. this board is going to light up like the brightest, most colorful Christmas tree the world has ever seen!! And I sure do hope I’m around to witness the sparks flying high.. Thanks much and please update soon!!

[mole]

Hi Heather.

First, let me say that I'm enjoying your story very much. The frustration felt by both Willow and Tara is palpable and I think you've portrayed the characters well. Can't wait to see more of your Anya.

Second, have you ever considering providing a track listing of "The Real Me" cd that Willow gave to Tara after stringing up the Christmas lights in Tara's room? I, for one, would be very interested to have a listen. I apologize if this question has been posed previously. I started reading your story at Through the Looking Glass (which is how I found my way to this wonderful board!) and haven't shifted through the 59 pages of posts about your terrific tale.

Michelle

[EasierSaid]

Kittens Apologies for the long delay - I'm working Sassette-type hours right now, and free time is scarce. Please enjoy this latest offering and happy, happy holidays!

Leafsdude Thanks David. I think you're right, that Willow knows something is amiss with Buffy and Xander, but with everything on her plate, she's not allowing herself to see the big picture, long-standing problem. Little self-protection, perhaps? Xander will continue to be the question mark in Tara's mind. I think... anything less than Willow saying "I love you Tara, and Xander? Bleech." and Tara is still going to wonder what is going on with them. Both of the girls have arrived at a momentary lets-ignore-the-badness detente, which should suit them well for a bit. Glad you liked Willow's mea-stupid,can-we-just-forget-it?

sarejester Wow, I don't know what is more "wow", the wanting to print it our or re-read it! Thank you, that's so very cool to read. I agree with you on the angst front; I'm the type that changes the channel when watching a Friends repeat if I think its one where someone gets humiliated, or hurt -- I hate to squirm, or see people in pain, yet... I guess it's different with this story, because I know they're going to end up together. I know that every step takes them closer, even if it appears to be a step backward; at this point, even the missteps take them forward... if that makes sense. I hope you enjoy the next bit, and where the story goes overall... just remember - lots of kisses in the end. Thanks Sarah.

Foomatic Sweet torture - yay! Re: your question, who is more tortured - I have to say W/T - they don't know they're going to end up together haha! At least we have that luxury. Thanks!

UnderTheirSpell The dancing elephant! That pink pacaderm really gets down. I am so glad I could help out with a crap day, week, etc! (And dude, I rock like Stonehenge? Brilliant!) I'm glad you're cautiously optimistic about their conversation - that's what I was going for. This is the beginning for them; they might not catch on right away, there might be more stumbling blocks, but they are definitely on their way. Unfortunately, it might take me a while to write "the way" because life is so unbelievably hard, but know that I'm trying; I want this story to get moving as much as you guys! Thanks!

Krokador "Kinda confusing" is a great way to put it. I have this image in my head of the two looking at each other, eyes sort of squinted, thinking "what is up with you..." Hope you enjoy the next one, and thanks!

Marilda Thanks very much, and yay for seeing the finish line (if even through really huge binoculars). You're right though - this day for them... little things are getting sorted out, although they might not necessarily realize it right away; they're definitely inching toward some light bulbs going off. And wowzers for wanting to print it out - just be sure to run spell check first, okay? Enjoy the next part!

dorksrcool Haha, my cat looks at me funny when I let out a huge sign of relief when I finally post! (Poor cats—their owners are so weird.) Hehe Mrs. dorksrcool Neverland - I can see it! Glad you liked that line; I imagine the two of them standing on the street, noses cold, cheeks stinging but not even noticing because they're so wrapped up in the conversation, the moment. Hope you like this next part, and thanks for being so patient!

histchic Thanks very much - and yay for updates! I think you're right about Tara figuring out that the puzzle she thinks she's been piecing together might not be right. As for Morgan... she's not evil, so its doubtful she'll play Tara and Willow for her own gain; I hope what I have planned for the three of them is fairly realistic and respectful of all involved. Re: the quote - you're also right that Tara is soooo close to figuring it out, but is exploring every other option before turning to the (to us anyway) obvious: that Willow is into her. Part of it is self-protection, part of it is still lack of conclusive information. Good call about Willow—I wanted to show her analytical side a bit, how observant and curious she is about random things.This should continue, throughout the rest of the story, for sure. Toodles back atcha, and enjoy the next update!

Darth Pacula False modesty! I'll have you know my modesty is quite genuine, mister! And what is the color of chuffed? I'm going to go with "parsimmon" right now, but feel to suggest your own, er, suggestion. I think for Tara, she thinks physical distance from Willow will help kick start emotional distance; out of sight, out of mind. She'll be able to start to focus on herself if Willow isn't around, make some positive changes so that she's not just pining. This in alternative to continuing to be miserable (because up till now there was no "happy ending" option in her mind). The infamous "day in the park" definitely will get it's fair share of attention, for sure, so no worries there; all will be revealed. (And truly, no kicks from "torturing", just how the story is unfolding.) Re: the perfectness of the day... I think it's like all things, memory is a tricky thing. Even the most perfect day can be perfect in memory, but not so much in objective fact. What to concentrate on? The happiness of the day, or the parts that weren't so perfect? That's kind of where they are now. Willow's ignorance of Tara's feelings re: Xander is unlikely to change soon. Willow's ignorance of Xander/Buffy tension... I think part of it is innocently not noticing the tension, because Xander and Buffy haven't brought her into it, they remain cordial, its not like they live in the same town, etc. However, I do think part of it is Willow being so concentrated on what she's not telling Buffy, that what Buffy thinks about everything is secondary. Re: the cold - you know how it is, some folks just blithely wander around all bundled up, while others grimace, shiver and make a production out of being chilly. As for updates... with my life the way it is, hold me to nothing (indeed, I'm going to stop predicting updates at all because I just can't predict what my day is going to be like, from one to the next). Thanks! And enjoy this next bit.

grimlock72 Yeah, look at Willow opening up—little opposite of how it has been! Tara is definitely realizing that what she thought was Willow's situation, might be a figment of her imagination. I can't see this Tara telling this Xander off - she doesn't know him, not really, and to involve herself like that in Willow's affairs... just can't see it (though I'm sure Tara's thought about it, haha). Willow is a little fragile - opening up, esp about her feelings and her situation is terrifying; she could use a little protecting, I'm sure! Nice theory on the origins of "the gap"—we'll see! Time does go slow, but that's my fault I'm afraid - I need the time to get back into their heads. Thanks so much grimmy - enjoy the next bit!

spells42 Thanks very much. Engaging and frustrating - sounds about right! They are talking, some... trust me, it will pick up soon. Just have to get through this day. This day and then things will start to unfold. And hehe, Tara definitely would rather they'd be smooching too. Thanks Anne!

caz Willow is definitely trying to open up, even if she is doing it in the most profoundly vague way possible. I think you're right, that the clues are there, and I think Tara has them all kicking around her head... she just needs to slow down and see how they come together. Anya... I think Anya is just going to be her regular Anya self. Re: Buffy - I think she's been badly mislead by Xander and Willow; her observations are honest, and she's confided in Tara as a friend... just, what she thought was right, isn't. It happens to the best of us, I'm afraid, and I think when Willow comes clean with Buffy she's going to be seriously hurt that she's been so out of the loop and wrong. Hope you enjoy the next update, and thanks Caz.

Reallybigpineapple Haha the "mistress of pain" thing cracks me up. Thanks very much - I do love the mundane (apparently, a little too much at this pace). I like stormy weather in SF; winter is a good time to be in the city (because the fog and freezingness actually makes sense) so I'm glad you like that "winter in SF" is the setting. The ice is definitely melting, the truth is inching in, little by little. Hope you ended up liking New Pornographers; catchy bastards. And Neko and Alison living in your house? NICE. Thanks Martina!

Miss Kittys Ball O Yarn Spills are bad but yay for celebration dances! Trust me, Willow and Tara will kiss (hell or high water!). Hope you enjoyed the read, and thanks Emms.

watson That's a long recovery... you okay? And, in my defense, I did ask "which fic—not authored by anyone here—would you like to see updated". My answer is still a tie: Triscuit7's unfinished opus "The Edge of Silence" and technopagan78's "Doppleganger Redux" (although truly I love them just for exisiting; great stories, even if unfinished). Hope you like this next little bitty bit.

tarebear Well yay for made days! Glad I could help out. Haha another Mistress of Pain vote - funny. I'm glad that you like the story, despite the angstiness. I'm trying to keep the angst realistic, (well, as realistic as possible) so that it's not too much, just regular ol' life stuff. Nice weather metaphor for the last update - yes, the clouds are receding somewhat (although, literally not so much). Lots of awkwardness is right, but there is a small glimmer of a light trying to peek through. Hope you like this next bit, and yay for snoopy dances!

I_love_Danish Aww, thank you. You're right, Tara is sporting some question marks floating around her head - Willow's vague sharing has Tara really thinking, and hopefully, coming up with some better conclusions. Thanks!

arwen276 Shucks, thank you for reading! Thanks re: my note - I promise, this next update DEFINITELY has Anya's store (and hopefully, a bit more). Timeline wise, this day that they're on right now is Tuesday. Willow is set to talk to her mom on Saturday, Buffy on Sunday. Few days in between here and there, I'm afraid. No offense taken - I know I haven't been updating, and I just thank everyone for being so patient with me. Thanks very much arwen - I hope you like this next part.

Ressick Thanks very much - I'm glad you liked that last one. "Things are finally starting to sort out, a little." Amen, amen! Willow, I think, more so than ever, has the words "I'm gay" sitting in her throat, while Tara is starting to wonder "what is up with my cuckoo roomie". Hope you enjoy Anya - she's fun to write. And I'm sorry you were having a crappy day, but glad that I could help out, if even just a smidge. Enjoy!

Fleiss Thanks so much!

SallyMcFine Definitely, the girls are starting to get somewhere, albeit with major awkwardness. I think Willow's vague opening up is really going to help spur Tara into asking questions, if only of herself, that she hadn't really dared asked before. Thank you very much re: the "you could be a different person" line - I think a lot of us feel that way sometimes, that question, if I change the external appearance, or change behavior, or even change what we allow ourselves to think about... will some how actually change who we are as a core person? I think Tara is figuring that out, slowly, painfully. She so badly wants for things to be different, but how? You brought up a good point about the "talking yourself into something, it's probably not right" - I think for Tara, also, is... she hasn't been in a ton of relationships, so it's also an honest, innocent question, "can people fall in love over time?" With Willow, it was almost instant, an attraction that just exploded as they got to know each other (if even briefly), but I think, for Tara, she realizes that that's not all relationships, that maybe questioning if she's shutting down Morgan prematurely. "What if I pass up something that could be solid, because I'm infatuated with this straight girl who will never love me?" Innocent and delusional at the same time, in my mind. Good question regarding the "day in the park" fallout, one that I'll hopefully be able to answer in a satisfying way when I write that update! Thanks very much, and thanks for the thought-provoking feedback.

JustSkipIt Stupid/painful to watch... maybe... but did you see it? The switch that went off? It's like, a switch in a really old house; one that doesn't work right away, even though electricity is flowing... lights remain dark, then slowly a light flickers, and you're not sure it's going to hold until BAM—the room is totally lit up. How's that for a bad metaphor! I know it's frustrating (the story, not the metaphor, but who could blame you if you thought "both"), but I think, I hope, anyway, that the ball is moving (how's that for mixed metaphors; ball, light, clues...). Definitely will have more on the whole, day in the park thing, as the story goes on, and thanks very much re: the movement along the streets (I confused myself a couple of times as I was writing it, but yay for it pretty much working out in the end). I did want to give that bustling downtown winter feel - the one where you have people on their lunch break blowing past people shopping and tourists milling around trying to figure out where they are. (Or, Union Square every day of the year in SF.) Glad you thought it brought structure to the talking and the obsessive thinking, cause lord knows that update needed some structure! Thanks.

behindhereyes Of *course* you're not sorry. Thank you for the naked Willow/Tara dancing in a soft fire light image, I love it! (Oh, and er for the sentiment behind it as well.) Thanks Smokey, as always.

The Rose24 Clues will be had, oh yes, yes they will. Tara is slowly figuring Willow's Xander code out; now she just needs to put on the decoder rings and confirm her subconscious suspicions! Thanks very much - enjoy the next bit.

IamLoui Haha thanks very much!

sam Thanks muchly sam - talking definitely coming up for these girls, even if in bits and pieces.

ShallowLikeUs Hahaha, thanks for the "various sounds of frustration" - very silly. I like how you say they can be fighting and making up without knowing it. Really, they're having a relationship (sort of) without knowing it; kind of frustrating, but also neat. Thanks re: "petty and petulant"—it seemed to bear repeating. Interesting Saran Wrap analogy - I think that's pretty cool; Tara can see Willow, but can't get to her... hopefully that will start to change. Too true about the assuming on Tara's part, but it's up-till-recently been the result of the information she's been given. Now, I think she's starting to figure out that "hey... this seems weird". Good call regarding Willow's coming out - that's exactly why she wants to tell her mom and Buffy first. Willow realizes that this is about how she is as a person, not the relationship that she wants. As for Anya... don't fear Anya - she may stick her foot in it, but no harm, no foul (well, it might be foul, but no permanent damage, promise). Thanks very much for the construction haha. I really appreciate the compliments, thanks... real yet the same is definitely what I'm going for. I want this Willow and Tara to be as close to the TV version as possible, and for them to have real problems. How'd you do on your paper? Get it done, despite the distracting update and nyquil? Thanks Dani.

StarCat Willow and Tara are far closer than they realize because they've each been having an internal conversation with the other person for so long... they're ready for the real deal, you know? It's like, they're ready to just fall into that familiar, fated bond. And doh! No slipping out of your chair and hitting your head! (Maybe I'll need to start putting helmet AND seatbelt ratings on these things....) Thanks so much (and make sure the chin strap on your helmet is snug)!

onlyhalfevil Gah, sorry for making you feel genuinely awful on Willow's behalf, but thanks for the compliments; I'm glad to know that the feelings are getting through. You're right - huge step forward to them. They're starting to be honest (or at least, as honest as they feel they can be) and that includes being honest about how they're making each other feel instead of just saying "oh everythings fine" and suffering. Thanks very much - hope you enjoy Anya.

Alyson Goddess Thanks so much Erin - hope you like this next update.

Keops. Thanks very much - glad you're enjoying despite boatloads of angst.

irishgrl3 Hi anna - thanks very much! A lot going on in those short blocks - I felt bad for having the physical distance covered be so minimal, but I really felt like I had to churn through all of that ickiness and get them moving in a revelatory direction. Willow certainly seemed to have worked herself into a corner, but then in true Willow fashion just swept the badness under the rug in favor of happy good times. Tara noticing Willow's jealousy... don't count that one out yet - there was a lot in that conversation to absorb; Tara might not have had a chance to work that one out yet. I hope you like Anya. I'm a bit worried because I feel like in my pokey-ness in getting them to the store, the "big Anya cameo" has been built up a bit... In other words, I hope she doesn't suck! I'm hoping also, that we get to see a little bit of why Tara and her are friends, so it's not just blunt comments, but blunt comments that make sense in the context of things. Thanks so much - hope you like the next update.

the hero factor Ah, thank you so much for the golden ticket: "take as long as you like with the errand." Poor Tara indeed - she's pretty overwhelmed with new information, isn't she? I really wanted to get them from being really spun in the gallery to at least able to have some semblance of a normal afternoon by the time they got to the gallery - "more happy at the end" for sure. Hehe re: your quote about the quote you pasted; they're sickening, aren't they? Veeeeeery interesting day in the park observation. Hopefully you'll like what I have planned. Thanks!

Artemis Ah, thanks so much Chris re: my use of the "common comma." I worry sometimes that I overuse that device, but you know what? It makes me happy when I read it back because I can so clearly see the delivery, as if filmed, so that's all that matters haha. I could probably even go further, annoy the hell out of everyone by inserting notes about specific facial expressions, but I figure we're all familiar enough with Aly's Willow delivery to know what single word phrase goes with a quick look up, a twinge between the eyes, a cagey look to the side, etc. I'm just so glad you like my "artistic touch," it means a lot, thank you. Also glad that you liked the idea of Tara escaping to her studio - I feel like that a lot, just need to get home and decompress. I imagine that someone like Tara, emotional and introspective, needs that kind of time as well. You're right - she has a ton of stuff to wade through—Willow pretty much hit her on all fronts, plus a few Tara didn't even know about. Tara's thoughts on the Xander issue are completely messed up... she'll definitely spend a bunch of time on that puzzle. Anya... I love Anya, esp Anya-as-portrayed on the show. I like to think her bluntness is so endearing because it's tied to a naivete - I tried to hold on to that, here. More insight on the park... little by little the past is being revealed and hopefully not in a really stupid way. You're right though - lots of past hurt to clear up. Thanks!

willowspiritus Amen - fighting bad, but clarity and goodness is definitely something to smile about. Thanks very much; I really needed to go slow with this errand so they could, at least a little bit, work through some stuff.

WillowRulez Sadly, the Shelia visit is still a ways off... but hopefully, you'll like all of the little moments leading up to it. Enjoy the next bit!

Leprechaun Yay for coming out of the woodwork! I hope you're enjoying all of the other stories on the board—lots of great writers here. Thanks very much for the flattering words - I really hope you like this next part!

NeTGiRL Well I love you for posting! (Such a rock star thing to say, I love it!) Woo and hoo work well - the girls are slowly but surely figuring things out (but tossing the phone in the river is not a bad idea). Thanks very much, and I hope you like the update, Kirstin.

wimpy0729 I know right - longest. Errand. Ever. You're right though, they've managed to cover a lot of ground in that, what, hour and a half? Willow's "life stuff" is going to seriously nag at Tara... she might not "know" what's going on with Willow, but she's all about trying to figure it out. Thanks very much for the comma love as well! As I told Chris, it's something I worry about overusing. I'm glad it works for you though. I'm right there with you with wanting them to open up - I think they will, in the next couple of days. I'm glad you felt the cold. Winter in SF is chilly in a weird way, wanted to convey that, a little. Official Mistress of Pain? haha So, Mistress of Pain™? I thought that was a title shared between Washi and DarkWiccan? I'll settle for... Mistress of Accidental Pain Whilst Heading Toward Definite Smoochies. Glad you're enjoying conjugal visits and really hope you like this next update. Thanks Wimpy!!

For The Love of Tara Well aww shucks *kicks ground, sheepishly* Thanks so much. I hope you like the next part!

The_Lord_J Yay for delurking and fic fixes! Thanks very much for the kind words. Not sure about the board records... but very funny nonethelesss. Thanks!

Guppy Lights are definitely coming on. Tara is very curious about what Willow's revealed about her relationship with Xander; just seems so different from what she's always thought. I thought... they needed to touch on the party a little bit; obviously, they'll talk about it a lot much later, but for now, it was just too much of a lingering problem. Yay for laughing out loud and weird looks from sisters. Glad I could help with that. Hope you like the visit to Anya's and thanks very much for leaving feedback!

fabouly You guys are seriously overly complimentary... but thank you very much--I think you rock! And... the sheep is still hilarious, even after all these months. Thanks fab!

captain_katie I'll use this opportunity to admit that the last one took me a bit to get back into too... it's hard when there's so much time between updates. (Sorry!) You're right - how much do we miss out on every day because we're afraid? Willow is starting to realize this, and hopefully, will start to let some of that fear go. I'm glad you love that the pace is slow! I hope that you enjoy the trip to Anya's and thanks!

firerancher A few years!?! Holy lord, has it been that long?! Well... maybe not years, yet, but at the pace I'm going... goodness gracious. (Side note: thanks again to Chris for posting the story on 'Through the Looking Glass'). Thank you very much re: the suspense - I certainly didn't mean for it to be so suspenseful when I started out writing this sucker... but then, I didn't think I'd post more than ten parts, tops, so I'm super glad it's worked out. Glad you like the grammar and the language. Thanks!

pipsberg Hey there. Glad you liked to see some movement, and my extra-special-super-über-wonderful-terrific-girlfriend is definitely not causing me to not update (that would be my sucktastic job that's slowing me down). Thanks re: answering Tara's questions without really answering them - figured that would be too easy. The two girls definitely have an understanding, now they just need to figure out the fine print on that understanding! Thanks re: the dialogue, as well. That's one of the best parts of the show, how snappy everything is, so I try to pay special attention to how they speak (and not just what they're saying). Thanks also re: the encouragement to stick with the detail - I can't imagine writing any other way. I won't rush, I promise, and thank you again.

tarawhipped Sorry I didn't get an update up immediately after you posted feedback, but hopefully you'll like this next part, despite the long delay! Very sorry the last update was unpleasant to read—it was unpleasant to write, if it's any consolation. It's hard to put them through all of this, but its necessary, you know? And, I feel like... they go through it and life is better on the other side, so... maybe it's worth it? (I don't know, seriously, I'm asking haha) You're right, this last bit was definitely a pivotal turning point; blink and you missed it turning point, but a turning point all the same. Tara now has a clue. She doesn't know what kind of clue she has, but gosh darn she has one! I very seriously almost posted a two paragraph update with them wiping their feet on the doormat in front of Anya's store, but that would have been mean so... I'm just... telling you... about it... here. : \ (What?) Anyhoo... Damn Day in the Park, is that it's new name? Don't worry, lots of splainin about it to come (evilness of my work, notwithstanding ) Too bad you're not pot head lady (NEXT TIME YOU TASER ME DO IT TO MY FACE), but hold on to your dreams of attaining ultimate weirdness - its commendable. Thanks Cam!

will Thanks so much will. Hope you like the next update!

luv4willtara Fellow W/T lover! Good to see you! *blush* Thanks so much for all of the kind words. Sorry that the party talk broke your heart, and noooo to punching computers! I really hope that this next update satisfies your Anya fix, and thanks again Katie!

dreamin of my rainbow See? That's what I like, someone who waits longer than I wait to write, to read! Thanks so much for the very kind words, but stick around a little heather - there are a bunch of other great stories here! Thanks so much, and hope you like this next update.

dragonfly Welcome! Thanks very much for stopping by. I'm very glad that you like where the girls are going; Willow is still being very hesistent (esp since she's on the street, as you point out), but she's at least mindful that she needs to try and open up. I think, hope, at least, that after many years together they'll look back on this time with at least a little bit of amusement. : \ Thanks very much for the very kind words about the level of detail. I hope you get a chance to go to SF, it's such a wonderful city and I really don't think I could have a better setting; just so much great stuff to talk about. (And thanks re: the paintings, that's a lot of fun to do.) Thank YOU very much for stopping in Clau (and the well wishes), and hop you like the next bit.

potential_angel Ah, stumbling into fic is so much fun - I've lost a lot of sleep doing that! Thanks very much for the huge compliment! I think I agree with you about the cheering; when these two kiss there will be much rejoicing (I'll lead the cheer). Thanks Mel, hope you like the next part.

Kajun Thank you very much my friend; I think the girls needed a little bit of resolution after all they've been through, even though... the resolution isn't all the way resolved! So many good guesses about what happened during the day at the park. My lips are sealed, but I really really hope that you like what I have planned. Willow recognizes that there's something wrong with Tara, but not what it is... how hard she pushes that angle, as opposed to just trying to cheer the girl up is going to be interesting (at least, I think it is haha). Re: Tara not thinking it's her place... I think... Tara compares her friendship to Buffy's friendship with Willow; they've been friends so much longer, they can say things that nobody else can, like sisters... I think, for Tara she sees her friendship with Willow to be too new, to possibly fleeting, you know? What if she says the wrong thing and Willow goes away? Goes back into her shell? More on that later. I think Tara will have lots to think about once she gets back to that studio. The brightest Christmas tree huh - that would be a sight to see! Thanks so much, as always, for the great observations. Hope you like their trip to Anya's!

mole Thank you very much! I'm glad you think the tension is palpable (such a great word) and thanks also for the kind words about the character portrayal; the best part of working on these updates is spending time with the characters. I know I've posted the track listing before - if you can't find it just holler and I'll post it again. Thanks Michelle!


Now, on to the update!