The Questions and (un)-Answers game

[dark_chylde]

A: Because there was a pharmacy on the other side of the street and the chicken had a headache and wanted some aspirin.

Q: Why is Christmas always in dezember ?

[Foomatic]

A: Your mama.

Q: What the HELL is that?!

[Tiggrscorpio]

A: If you had turned left, instead of right, you would know!

Q: Why can't you remove the tag from a mattress?

[dark_chylde]

A: You can You just have to cut it out !

Q: Why do Japanese people always bow ?

[watty]

A: They're not actually bowing, they're proving to each other that they have a full head of hair. You see, hair is much valued in Japanese society. Being bald, and especially sporting the "circular bald spot" at the top of their heads, is a complete stigma. It means that they come from a family that grows beans and everyone knows beans are the lowest form of lifeform in Japan.

Q: How many kittens does it take to change a lightbulb?

[hermitfish]

A: Well, that depends on how many want to screw.

Q: If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from?

[tarebear]

A: From the same factory that brought us the bar code.

Q: Why should we let sleeping dogs lie?

[JustSkipIt]

A: Because if they tell the truth, they know a lot of secrets about their owners.

Q: What will the final score of the UT/A&M football game be?

[watty]

A: 17 pairs of red shoes.

On the topic of shoes.

Q: Why do women wear high heels?

[GayNow]

A: There will be no score between UT and A&M. They will not play. The ships from Vega sector 4.7 will return to Earth and to retrieve their stranded commrades. UT and A&M will become farmland.

(Rah! Rah! TCU!)

Q: How does a plane fly?

[tarebear]

A: there's a magician wearing a tutu in the cockpit keeping the airplane afloat.

Q: who said the sky falling?

[ambercissism]

A: The devil used to be an angel that fell from the sky.

Q: Why does she love her?

[GayNow]

A: Because the White Sox won the World Series and the Bears are in 1st place. Therefore, Armaggedon must be at hand.

Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?

[oneyedchicklet]

A: To fan the smell from his butt so tohers can share in the stentch.

Q: Why doesn't Donald Duck wear pants?

[GayNow]

A: Because the phrase "hung like a horse" is seriously erroneous!

Q: Why is Chicago called "the windy city"?

[tarebear]

A: it's the government's ploy because they heard martians don't like windy cities.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?

[Emms]

A: Because they were building a KFC where he was standing

Q: What's up with that guy on the 700 club?

[watty]

A: He got stuck in the traffic jam up the I-95.

Q: Why is a mouse called a mouse?

[Emms]

A: Because Moose was already taken

Q: why is fog so darn foggy?

[dark_chylde]

A: Because otherwise it would be called sunny day

Q: Why did curiosity kill the cat but not the dog ?

[robotguru]

A: The dog ran away sooner

Because it didn't get answered earlier...
Q: Why do women wear high heels?

[Artemis]

A: In ancient times, the level of helium inside the Earth (which is what keeps it floating in space) was dangerously high, to the point where the planet was threatened with floating right up out of the galaxy, and ending up bobbing around the universal ceiling, out of reach. Seeing as men were busy at the time declaring themselves 'hunters', and investigating whether or not it's a good idea to try to headbutt woolly mammoths to death, it fell to women to solve the problem. They did this by wearing special footwear with sharp heels, which made tiny punctures in the Earth's crust as they walked, thus venting excess helium (the cumulative effect of this, over dozens of generations, is also why women's voices tend to be higher than men's). The reason for high heels has long been forgotten, but the practice remains as a kind of racial memory, thereby keeping the Earth from floating away.

Answer from the future: Yes, time travel is possible. And once you've built a time machine, it's easy to make time to use it - not by using the machine to complete your own tasks before you have to do them, but by the far simpler method of selling the patent and hiring a maid.

Q: Is it a good idea to try to headbutt woolly mammoths to death?

[kindagay]

A: Only on the second Tuesday of every month when woolly mammoths have a monthly one day hibernation and are therefore vulnerable & unable to defend themselves.
Of course, once you have headbutted them to death you're faced with the problem of having to move them, which involves constructing a complex series of levers and pulleys. It's much easier to just let the woolly mammoth be & hunt something a bit smaller.

Q: Why is it so cold?

[dark_chylde]

A: It's not cold you only wear the wrong clothes !

Q: Why can you never get rid of the stupid cough while the rest of your cold is gone in three days ?

[tarebear]

A: well because it's so stupid that it's buddies have moved on without him even noticing the memo.

Q: why are moles hairy?

[Sasha]

A: Because they live undergroud and the worms might get stuck down the moles' ears if they didn't have fur to cover them up! ( )

Q: How do they get the little pieces of paper into the fortune cookies?

[dark_chylde]

A: by fortune.

Q: Why is it always so hard to find perfect winterboots which look good with every outfit ?

[robotguru]

A: Because every outfit hates Winter and so is feeling unco-operative.

Q: Why must assignments, my birthday and National Novel Writing Month all happen at the same time?

[JustSkipIt]

A: Gravity

Q: When will the next Coming Back update be posted?

[GayNow]

A: In about 5 minutes

Q: Why are we here?