FIC: The Gift of Sorrow - Rainbow Writer's Season 7 Pt. 1,2

[witchbitchwillow]

wow, great update! i love to see willow and tara back together again. i love the way that you guys write, its amazing!



more soon please!



love ellie x x x x

*thats me as a vampire im so evil and skanky and i think im kinda gay*

*no candles? well i brought one its extra flamey!*

[little wicca dude]

wow,

they found each other, yippee!!!



u guys rock!!

more soon, pretty pretty please



luv jill xx

"did i just say that? did i just say that too?"

[Loco2]

damn, i missed this earlier, but now that i've seen it, great! loved the gang in this part, oh so good. i, too hope willow doesn't freak.

”What do you think I am, a skeleton thief? You want to search me?!"

[LeatherQueen]

Hm. So maybe it's Madalene that the magical locusts are after, eh? Great update. Glad they agreed not to separate them. But what will happen when Willow wakes up?

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[Jennpurr]

Seperated? So not good! Willow would really wig then.



Awww... thanks for bringing our girls back together. Can't wait till they wake up, to see what happens. Hope Wills will be okay.



Looking forward to the next update.



Jen

-----------------------------------


"Alyson Hannigan is a frickin' amazing kisser."Amber Benson

[Miss1234Kitty]

No! Separation is a bad, bad thing. Jennpurr, I just saw your quote. When did she say that? Brilliant update. You two are:

*brilliant

*wonderful

*talented

*incredible

*(to quote Jen's quote) frickin' amazing!



Gem

[Jennpurr]

Gem,



I'm not sure. I remember reading that quote from an interview somewhere, but I can't remember the source. As for the quote, I found it at the Kitten board in one of the threads.



If I stumble upon when she said that, I'll let you know.



OH... could it have been when she was on Loveline, the first or second time? Maybe that's where I remember it from.



Jen

-----------------------------------


"Alyson Hannigan is a frickin' amazing kisser."Amber Benson

[Miss1234Kitty]

I didn't see that! How could I not have seen that? I am a very bad girl. I must be punished. I missed Amber Benson interviews! *sob*



Gem

[Thanatopsis]

This was amazing. So much goodness. So much to love. Thank god, at least Buffy seems to think separation is bad. *Sigh* Thanks for these updates.

-----------------

Uh, um... various sounds of
hesitation...

[Jennpurr]

Awww.. Gem, It'll be okay. I think it was in the dialouge that was posted at the Kitten board, ages ago. Sorry you missed it. I just love watching her on interviews. She's so funny.



Jen

-----------------------------------


"Alyson Hannigan is a frickin' amazing kisser."Amber Benson

[Beth Dragon]

Ok just wanted to say how much i appreciate all the comments and feedback you guys share with Kath and I - I know thsat Kath actually writes the thank -yous, but like everything we do, they're from both of us. As they say, You can't have one Rainbow Writer without the other (well okay no one has ever said that, but I'm saying it now ) OK enough with the Bethisms, the update .....







Buffy gently pushed the a-jar door to the bedroom open and checked the two figures on the bed were asleep before she walked in. Her heart instantly leapt into her throat when she saw the way that the two small bodies were wound together. For an instant it seemed so hard to believe that one of them was recently raised from three months in a grave and the other was barely hanging onto her daily sanity.



Willow was not in her usually awkward drug induced pose, but was instead curled into Tara’s body, tucked in by an arm that held the redhead tight. Tara as well seemed more relaxed in her sleep as she leaned into the small body against her.



“I’m not asleep.” A small voice called out to the Slayer by the doorway.



“Oh... sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in.” Buffy whispered a little embarrassed. “I wanted to check if you needed anything.”



“I’m guessing this is your house, there is no question of barging in.” Tara spoke softly, but didn’t move her body in the slightest. “And no, I don’t need anything.” She added.



“But this is your room.” Buffy corrected her. “The room you and Willow shared.”



Very slowly blue eyes opened to appraise the information she was being given. The walls were fairly bare, without much in the way of decoration or accent. The mottled wallpaper behind was a soft blend of pastel colours giving the idea of impressionistic flowers of some sort though none of the design was distinct enough to pick a specific type. At the far end of the room she could see the floor was carpeted with a beige thick pile, and the curtains were hung with only light white shears.



“You’ve changed it though haven’t you?” Tara looked at Buffy.



“We had too. We couldn’t get her back into it until we had.” Buffy admitted moving around the bed closer to the blonde.



“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.” Tara admitted putting a little more effort into the hold she had on the redhead’s body.



“It’s all worth it now.” Buffy shook her head to any worry. “Is she okay?” She looked at Willow.



“She’s sleeping.” Tara replied casting her eyes down to Willow. “I did my best to even things here.” She moved a hand and drew a light circle on Willow’s temple. “But it’s going to take time and work, I can’t manage it all yet.” Tara’s voice drifted a little.



“You can get in her head?” Buffy questioned her brow furrowing a bit in confusion as she knelt down by the bed.



“It’s not like that.” Tara shook her head slightly. “It’s like I have my thoughts, my feelings, what’s going on with me here, at the front and then a little like an echo, or a reflection, behind them I feel Willow.” She tried to explain.



“Love.” Buffy attempted to explain it as she much as she could figure.



“And so much more.” Tara nodded. “She’s beautiful isn’t she?” She glanced down again at Willow.



“She is... but I think you and I have different basis for our appraisal.”

Buffy smirked a little. “Can we make her well again?” She questioned unfairly.



“She’s not sick Buffy, she’s lost.” Tara replied succinctly.



“And you can find her.” Buffy swallowed not sure if she could handle Tara disagreeing with her.



“It’s not just about me.” Tara underlined, her voice and eyes suddenly dropped. “I’ve seen what she did Buffy.” The words were tiny as they passed through Tara’s lips.



“It wasn’t Willow, not really.” Buffy stood up for her friend. “She sounded like Willow and she looked sorta like Willow but our Willow was already so lost by then.”



“Yes, she was.” Tara moved her hand back and moved it through red locks. “We have things we need to talk about Buffy, you and I.” She added quietly.



“Like?” The Slayer tried not to show her concern as the blonde spoke.



“Not now.” Tara shook her head. “She’s going to be awake soon.”



“But you’re going to stay right?” She checked unable to find enough confidence not too.



“The only way I will leave is if she wants me to.” She promised the Slayer as slowly, almost painfully or so it seemed Tara leaned and kissed the top of Willow’s head.



“I promise you we’ll talk, about anything you want too.” Buffy vowed swallowing hard as she felt her eyes get hot with happy tears.



“Thank you.” Tara whispered, leaning back a little and closing her blue eyes again.



******

[WTsnuggles]

oh...that was lovely and very emotional. I loved reading this new part.



I love the story as I have said before, but it is truely a great one, a joy to read.



More soon I hope, waiting to see how Willow is when she wakes.

Snuggles.

"You take my soul with you. Tara "Once more with feeling.

[Jennpurr]

Awww..... you're gonna make me cry.



That was beautiful. I wonder what Tara wants to talk to Buffy about?



Willow needs to wake up. And see that she wasn't dreaming.



Jen

-----------------------------------


"Alyson Hannigan is a frickin' amazing kisser."Amber Benson

[sparrow]

Talk, what talk, Tara needs to talk to Buffy.



I am so lovin the home again Willow and Tara but boy will they have stuff to work through in about 2 secs.



I hope Wil is not all with the auggg-flinging arms wildly. Hope she understands all that is going on and with Taras help find that other lost part of her soul.

And, yet, I just can't seem to care


I'm not coming back

[tommo]

It's totally heartwarming to have them back together again. So beautiful. Theirs is a miraculous love, and you've portrayed it as such. Thank you.

----------
Squish. Squish. Squish.

[fidds]

*sigh* such a great update- i love the Buffy/Tara interaction- i love the that you guys write- this fic is brilliant!



I love that Tara tries to hold Willow as much as she can even though she has little strength- beautiful.



can't wait for the next update



*Hannah*

********************************************
I just needed someone to talk to, you were just too busy with yourself, you were never there for me to express how i felt ,i just stuffed it down- *STAIND -FADE*

[Tulipp]

Wow. The suspense you're building just keeps getting mand more layered. Will Tara come back...will Tara's memories come back...will Tara with her memories want to stay...will Tara and her memories stay AND forgive, etc....



And Willow...once she gets over the joy and relief of having T back, how will she deal with what is probably a lot of shame and self-loathing?



This story just keeps getting better and better. I love the way you keep subtly complicating what could be just a simple reunion story. Becuase this is not simple.

[Puff]

*sigh* that was just beautiful. Thank you

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Loco2]

that was all really sweet, with willow sleeping on tara. but i also vote for willow to wake up now. then she can see for sure that she has tara back.

thanks, that was great.



steph

”What do you think I am, a skeleton thief? You want to search me?!"

[WiccansIllusion]

Ack how did I miss two updates??? thank you

'It's good to be a chicken casserole'-Sass, answering darkness

'My heart is cleverer then I and it knows what to do.'-MC Legends of the Kiss

[pikescoob]

Yes, there is a lot to talk about...especially when Willow wakes up...can't wait for that to happen.



--Michelle

[KathleenWolf]

strap in for the thank yous...



Tulipp: handing you a box of special W/T tissues... well work people don't know good fiction... and thank you so much... the vulnerability of the lap/head position was one we totally wanted to relive... and we are really big on the suspense as anyone whose read most of our other stuff could attest too... and multilayer... oh we're just evil writers who make you wait to find out what's going on... but thank you for reading!



Ressick: your so so welcome... and goo is good... I have homemade soup for anyone whose had too many cookies and needs comforting



Capricornmist: cue one everlasting love!... just have faith and hope... and thank you for reading



Slick Whiskas: well thank you so much for both delurking and reading... its so nice to know that our story isn't just keeping our devoted Rainbowmittens interest but is attracting the precious time of new readers as well... there's a cookie and sweets table, lots of tissues and a cuddle puddle if you need a hug... welcome



Loco2: happy we could make you happy in two ways ... and keep your fingers crossed for Willow, she needs all the help she can get right now



Oriyon: oooo plug for the website... thank you so much... hopefully Circle will be update within the next little while



OneInTen: handing tissues... oreos are good... and so glad it lived up to your expectation



Sparrow: and we love you for being a rainbowmitten... yes they need to talk, don't worry we're clear it up in a little while I"m sure...



DarkWiccan: can't give away the plotline... unless mittens out there have spoilers and want to share... thanks for reading



Bobos Mom: do you need a refill for the helmet? handing out drinks... glad you liked the update... and for Willow's reaction you'll have to wait and see



Fidds: you lucky checker getting three updates... glad you enjoyed all of them, and the holding between them is so important... we all know Tara can't keep her hands off Willow



witchbitchwillow: thank you so so much... hopefully beth will give you even more soon



little wicca dude: thank you... we aim to rock! thank you for all your feedback and reading



leatherqueen: ahhh the locust... well that would be giving away the future... and I can't do that now can I? ... and Willow is just lost... very lost and now we have to get her back... and the cuddle puddle is in full function with extra pillows



Jennpurr: willow's reaction is very iffy... hopefully the next update will help everyone see where she is... thanks so much for reading... handing tissues... well the Buffy and Tara talk you will have to wait for a bit, I hope you can hang out for us



Miss1234kitty: oh thank you... blush... thank you so frickin much



Thanatopsis: yes Buffy is very anti seperation... so glad you enjoyed the update... and thank you for reading



.... and oh yes Beth my darling... there is no Rainbow Writers without you... and of course though I'm the babbly one with the comments and such... but she is the essential bit in the duo...



WTSnuggles: oh my... thank you for letting us into your reading to spread a little joy



Tommo: oh my thank you... the miraculous love of Willow and Tara is motivation to write the very best that we can, thank you for enjoying it with us



Pikescoob: definately not a quick fix here but we're on our way... so glad your with us for the ride



Puff: thank you so much for reading... we are trying so hard to capture their beautiful miraculous love



WiccansIllusion: no worries... the updates don't go anywhere and if they build up you get more to read at once... so glad you're enjoying



again i think that's everyone... thank you to everyone who takes the time to read for well reading



love from the RW's

k and b

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

Edited by: KathleenWolf  at: 6/18/02 2:26:13 pm

[Loco2]

well, you can count my fingers crossed. toes, too, if you like...

”What do you think I am, a skeleton thief? You want to search me?!"

[Beth Dragon]

Willow felt the tendrils of sleep slipping out of her mind and for the first time in as long as she could remember she didn’t feel her body fighting against medication. In fact for the first time she wasn’t fighting against sleep at all, she wanted to stay asleep. She wanted to hold onto the feeling of a warm body against her, Tara’s warm body against hers.



“You can open your eyes sweetie, I’m still here.” Tara whispered ever so quietly.



“Are you?” Willow whispered. “Am I still dreaming?”



“I am, but it’s not a dream.” The blonde replied. “Here.” Carefully, using much of her regained strength Tara reached and lifted Willow’s hand placing it on her chest so that the slow regular thump of her heart could be felt through the layers of material and skin.



“But... but... you’re dead.” Willow’s body shook slightly and she still hadn’t opened her eyes.



“Easy, easy.” Tara left Willow’s hand where it was and somehow managed to move hers round to rub the redhead’s back. “I came back.” She said slowly. “Breathe, breathe, that’s it sweetie.” Tara instructed carefully and calmly.



“B-B-B...” Willow hugged tighter her mind trying to focus on the heartbeat that sounded beneath her hand. “Am I in the hospital again?” She whispered afraid to believe her own senses.



“No.” Tara assured her.



“I don’t care how your back.” Willow hugged tighter.



“It’s a long story that we’ll learn together.” Tara promised using all the strength she could summon to return Willow’s hug



******

[Bobos Mom]

Gulg glug glug. You two lovely ladies are going to drive me to drink! It's a good drink - a toast to our girls together again. Keep up the great work.

*********

TARA: Willow and I always know how to find each other!

ANYA: With yoga?

[LeatherQueen]

Oh! *sniff* She woke up. This is so wonderful, you two.

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[Jennpurr]

Ah, darnit! Just when I thought I wasn't going to cry, you went and made me cry.



That is so sweet, yet touching and mushy. I really feel for those two. I hope everything will be alright.



Is this the last Update for today? **twidles thumbs in eager anticipation**



Jen

-----------------------------------


"Alyson Hannigan is a frickin' amazing kisser."Amber Benson

[Beth Dragon]

Here you go guys, last update for today and if you're following this story on our website - these scenes wrap up part five. Ohh and I bring cheesy nachos if anyone wants.







‘Madalene?’ Tara knew her projected voice was little more than a whisper ‘Madal...”



‘Tara, yes? Do you need help?’ Madalene’s voice came back into the blonde’s head immediately.



‘Buffy would be good.’ Tara pushed out the request trying to figure out how she could do this but finding only that she simply could.



‘I’ll send her up.’ The spellcaster assured in a soft response.



No more than fifteen seconds later Buffy appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, her face pale and her eyes fully of worry.



“It’s ok.” Tara took a breath but spoke quickly. “Though perhaps I should have called for two of you.” The Wicca tried to smile, but in reality she was too tired to make it look genuine.



“What’s up?” Buffy questioned still looking worried.



“And you did call two of us.” Madalene came up beside the Slayer having been unable to resist coming upstairs.



“Well I need to...” Tara looked off towards the door of the bathroom. “And Willow’s kinda.” She looked down at the limpet like redhead as she explained.



“Buffy you should look after Willow and I can help Tara.” Madalene smiled at the Slayer.



“Right ok.” Buffy moved forward slightly looking at the way her best friend was hanging onto the blonde for dear life. ‘Give me the good jobs why don’t you?’ She thought to herself as she moved closer to the bed.



“Ok Willow, ease off.” Buffy reached out and put her hand over Willow’s arm. The redhead groaned but didn’t move. “We just need to let Tara go just for a second or so.” Buffy continued talking as she pulled lightly on the thin arm to lift it from Tara’s body.



“Sorry.” Tara apologised as Buffy was forced to more or less climb over the Wicca into a place closer to Willow as her best friend didn’t really uncurl or relax at all.



“My dream, go away.” Willow groaned again in her sleep though she didn’t move an inch.



“Okay Will.” Buffy took another light breath moving to get a better hold on the surprising strong hacker. “After three Madalene ok?”



“Three.” Madalene moved to the other side of the bed to help the blonde.



“Ok Tara?” Buffy checked with the Wicca who nodded clumsily dragging her aching arm from around Willow’s back. “Ok, one, two, three.”



With a small groan, Buffy pulled Willow up and away from Tara and at the same time Madalene eased Tara away and pulled her up.



“Which way?” Tara asked shyly leaning heavily on the spellcaster’s support.



“Buffy?” Madalene questioned the Slayer.



“Oh God sorry.” Buffy suddenly clicked in, she had been too busy looking at the still motionless redhead in her arms. “Right through there, can’t miss it.”



“This way.” Madalene helped Tara into the bathroom.



******



The entire procedure had probably taken about five minutes, with the necessity of the visit outweighing either woman’s nervousness. Madalene had only really spoke to remind Tara they were family and that she had travelled along way to help, whatever helping entailed.



Carefully while Madalene helped the blonde stand at the sink and wash her hands she finally spoke again.



“Do you need anything?” She questioned as they towelled off the blonde’s fingers.



“Reassurance.” Tara replied honestly.



“That you’re doing the right thing?” Madalene questioned wanting to have the field narrowed before she answered.



“Yes.” The blonde breathed out the small word.



“I think so. Tara, you have been given such a gift here. To reclaim the people you love and to have your life back. I am so jealous, when I rose I had no one.” The brunette’s words were soft.



“But is it better this way?” Tara asked as a slightly troubled frown creased her brow.



“Than being alone, feeling scared and lost?” Madalene smiled softly. “Yes.”



“I’m still alone scared and lost.” Tara replied, her voice full of almost shame.



“But you have hope.” Madalene pointed out.



“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be like this.” Tara shook her head.



“Tara, there is no should be.” Madalene contradicted. “There are no rules here.”



“No, but there are other people to think about.” Tara replied softly.



“People to be honest Tara who from the first minute this was mentioned have been nothing than ecstatic that you’re back and more than happy to face whatever adversity comes with it.” The spellcaster’s voice was soft.



“I need to get stronger.” Tara said resolutely.



“That takes rest and sleep.” Madalene nodded. “We can try some exercises and spells to help strengthen you.”



“I don’t want it to take time.” Tara snarled somewhat through frustration.



“I wish I could do more.” Madalene frowned.



“No, no again I’m sorry.” Tara realised how badly this was probably coming across. “You’ve done so much.”



“I still wish I could do more.” Madalene smiled at her. “I had hoped to make this so much easier for you, so much easier than it was for me.”



“I’m not sure any of us got easy cards this life.” Tara admitted as Madalene helped her shuffle to the door. “Least of all for either of them.” She nodded forward slightly to the sight of Buffy and Willow still on the bed.



“Come on Willow?” Buffy said softly. “How about we get into a better sleepy position for when Tara gets back.”



“Tara is back.” Madalene prompted softly as she helped the blonde sit down again.



“Oh right.” Buffy looked up at the two witches.



“Do you want me to position her?” Buffy questioned Tara as Madalene helped her fully lie down.



“Has she moved or said anything?” Tara asked glancing between Buffy and her lover.



“Moaned about not giving up you or ever waking up.” Buffy admitted.



“Willow, Willow sweetie do you need anything?” Tara asked the apparently sleeping redhead in response to Buffy’s reply.



“Uhhhh.” Willow ungracefully moved away from Buffy and snuggled into Tara’s side again.



“Thank you both of you.” Tara glanced between both Buffy and Madalene.



“We already established this. We’re not thank you friends.” Buffy smiled at the blonde more than impressed by how comfortable Tara could make Willow even when the redhead was asleep.



“Tell Dawnie I love her.” Tara called as the slayer and the spellcaster moved to the door.



“I will.” Buffy nodded. “You do that mind thing again if you need us okay?”



Tara nodded and then turned her attention completely away from the retreating women. She looked lovingly down at Willow and leant her head against her lovers. Holding her as tightly as she could the blonde kissed the forehead so close to her tenderly and then introduced a gentle rock into their embrace, softly humming ‘Baby Mine’ as she closed her eyes and relaxed once more.

[Oriyon]

Ok put me on the list for needing Kleenx .... the eyes are watering ... and they're HAPPY tears

Edited by: Oriyon at: 6/18/02 4:56:03 pm

[sparrow]

This little scene sends me off to face big bad Joss and the rest of the panel in a very happy and gratefull mood. If only Joss could grasp a real relationship like you two do.

And, yet, I just can't seem to care


I'm not coming back