Hi everyone, I wont prolong the agony any, I'll just post the update, many thanks to everyone for their encouragement and cries for more
Beth x
The sleeping teenager on Tara’s left turned over groaning just a little before she snuggled into the blonde’s body and threw her hand over the Wicca’s arm accidentally catching the top of Willow’s head with her flailing hand. The sudden sleeping assault made Willow snap awake, her head popping up with a matt of red hair billowing around her face.
“Tara?” She questioned her voice heavy with fear.
It took the briefest of seconds for Tara to respond to the call as the blonde had actually slipped into a light nap snuggled up as the filling in the strange human sandwich she had found herself in.
“Willow.” She pushed open her blue eyes.
“You’re here.” Willow scooted closer. “I didn’t wake up, you’re still here.”
“I am, but you did wake up.” A gentle smile crept over the blonde face.
“I can’t wake up, if I wake up then you’ll be gone.” Willow shook her head.
“Willow, take a look around you, nice and slowly.” Tara encouraged the woman beside her tenderly. Green eyes blinked slowly as the redhead looked around the room. “You’re awake sweetie, you’re at home.” She explained. “See, I even have a second limpet.” She nodded a little towards Dawn who groaned again and flipped over to her other side drawing her arm back to her own body.
“But how?” Willow blinked harder not believing her eyes.
“I’m not really sure.” Tara admitted. “Something about my ancestry, but we can figure it out later.”
“Not cause I’m crazy?” Willow reached up and touched her fingers to Tara’s cheeks unable to believe that Tara was here and she was touching her.
“You’re not crazy sweetie.” Tara moved her hand to cover Willow’s pressing it the cool small fingers tight to her cheek.
“I’m not?” Willow’s eyes dipped closed as she felt the warmth in the blonde’s skin.
“You’re not.” Tara underlined, her own eyes dropping closed as she felt Willow’s touch.
As she did and flash of an image blinked into her minds eye. An image of Willow’s hand on her cheek, the redhead stood only millimetres from her face, green eyes looking back at hers full of almost disbelief and unbelievable joy. Willow’s lips were wet and slightly open and her breath was fast and hot on Tara’s face. But as quickly as the image was there it disappeared, leaving the blonde to blink her eyes open again to look at the redhead who had not moved.
“But the doctors... the hospital... I remember parts of it.” Willow tried to consolidate the battling parts of her fragmented mind.
“Yes, there were doctors and sweetie there still will be, though I sincerely hope no more hospitals.” She spoke honestly but softly. “And the parts you remember, I know nothing about so perhaps together we can look at them and deal with them.” She offered gently.
“You’re not going to leave me again are you?” Willow’s lower lip shook as she brought her other hand up resting it against Tara’s collarbone feeling the heartbeat underneath.
“No.” Tara shook her head. “Never again Willow though I never left you the first time.” She whispered moving her hand to cup the trembling cheek so close to her.
“I love you.” The redhead whispered the words almost as if they were the most precious on earth and she feared anyone else hearing them would lessen their value.
Tara had to force herself to breathe as the word escaped Willow’s lips. The three simple words literally causing a cacophony of the phrase to echo in her head, all spoken by either her or Willow, in a hundred different tones and ways at a hundred different times, none of which had a memory as yet, but still all had a voice.
“I love you too.” She stroked her thumb along Willow’s prominent cheekbone
Willow leaned into the contact with a small smile. “You should go to the bathroom sweetie, you’ve been snuggled up here for hours. You need to at least brush your teeth.” She repeated the simple motion all the while she spoke.
“But... But...” Willow’s eyes darted up to look at the door and her pupils dilated with panic.
“It’s ok Willow, its just over there, you can do it, I’ll be right here.” Tara encouraged softly as she moved her hand and stroked Willow’s shoulder.
“Are you sure?” Willow looked back again into blue eyes calming a little more.
“Yes.” Tara nodded encouraging the redhead with her blue eyes. “I would come with you but...” She let her voice trail off.
“Just teeth brushing and bathroom.” Willow recapped trying to focus.
“Is that something you can do?” Tara hated asking but at Willow’s reticence she suddenly doubted what she had taken as a given.
“If… If I’m having a good day Buffy doesn’t have to sit in the bathroom while I shower she sits out here.” Willow swallowed and looked down at Tara’s arm.
“I could wake Dawnie.” Tara glanced quickly at the sleeping teenager.
“No, no I can do it.” Willow tried to be brave. “I can leave the door open right?”
“You can.” Tara nodded glancing again at Dawn and then at the door as if thinking about something. Then after a moments silence she took a deep breath. “I would come with you but my legs aren’t too strong.” She said hating the words as they left her mouth.
“We could do it together.” Willow questioned still not convinced about going herself.
“We could?” Tara didn’t mean to sound so questioning but she couldn’t help it.
“Or we could wake Dawn.” Willow whispered feeling her conviction waver.
“No.” Tara suddenly made up her mind. “We can do this.”
A rare smile crossed Willow’s face before she carefully scooted further over on the bed away from Dawn and held her hand out to help Tara. Slowly Tara extracted herself from beside the teenager and used her arms to move across the mattress towards the side of the bed that Willow had recently vacated. Putting her hand into Willow’s she managed to move her legs around and put them down on the floor. She looked up into green eyes with a smile.
Sensing without really thinking Willow leaned down hugging her frail arms around Tara’s body and helping her ease up to a standing position.
“Hey look at that, we’re standing.” Tara breathed in deeply as she felt the world sway just slightly as she reached her full height.
“We are, all by ourselves.” Willow nodded as she held on tightly.
“Yeah.” Tara took a moment and wrapped her arms around Willow smoothing her hands up and down the redhead’s back. “We should do the bathroom trip.” She encouraged.
“We...” Willow looked up into blue eyes for a moment as their bodies stayed hugged together. “Should.” She finished after a long slow breath.
“This feels good though.” Tara whispered as she rubbed Willow’s back again.
“Makes me think I must be dreaming again.” The redhead whispered softly.
“Do dreams ever feel quite this good?” Tara nuzzled her face against Willow’s.
“Never.” Willow nuzzled back.
“You smell like camomile. I remember camomile.” Tara breathed in deeply again.
“You smell like Tara.” Willow whispered back.
“You remember Tara?” Tara questioned almost silently.
“How could I forget you?” Willow pulled back a little to look into blue eyes.
“I forgot me.” Tara gave a quirky smile. “But I didn’t forget you.” She added softly.
“I don’t understand any of this.” Willow admitted trying to get her head to clear. “All I know is I love you.” Without thinking she edged up a little and pressed her lips over Tara’s.
For a second Tara froze but as the heat from Willow’s lips spread over to hers she felt herself melt again, gently she kissed the redhead back.
It was just a short, simple kiss but it conveyed a thousand things that neither of them could say yet.
“Bathroom sweetie.” Tara reminded pulling back slightly after a long moment.
“Oh yeah.” Willow giggled as she was pulled back to the reality of the moment. “Ready?” She shifted her grip to get ready to move.
“Yes.” Tara nodded confidently pushing all of her strength down into her weak stiff legs.
Slowly they began shuffling towards the bathroom, having to take the long route around the bed on the way to the door.
Their progress was slow to say the least. Tara’s legs were stiff and tired, Madalene had told her that she would probably need lots of massages and even exercises to get them strong enough to walk on again and as the pair breeched the bathroom the Wicca believed the spellcaster’s words anew. With a small sigh of relief Tara felt her foot fall on cool white tile, she glanced up relived that there goal was in sight.
“We made it.” Willow noted as they made it into the long room.
“Of cour....” Tara’s voice literally broke off as she felt her right knee buckle.
Willow felt the world start to tumble as the weight leaned against her seemed to triple and she felt herself going slightly backwards at the same time that her arms slipped from their place.
With a less than gentle ‘uf’ Tara dropped to the floor her legs crumpled beneath her as her body pitched sideways. As she came to a hard stop against the tile her head was thrown sideways, unbelievable hitting a towel that lay on the bathroom floor.
Willow crumbled in a slightly less graceful move as she hit the wall and an attempt to cling to a long towel only caused her to slide down to the ground as it came off the rack.
The sudden drop to the floor though had been just a little too much of a shock for Tara’s slightly overloaded body and though she fought hard for a brief second, she could not stop the veil of darkness that descended over her eyes.
Dawn’s eyes snapped open as the loud double thud resonated through to her from the bathroom. Wildly she sat up, and turned sharply in the bed though the chill on her back had already told her that the bed was empty.
“Willow?” Her shaky voice called out as she pushed up quickly from the mattress ignoring the heady swim in her head as she went from sound asleep to upright and alert in far too short a space in time.
The redhead whimpering as the towel landed over her head and for the moment she was blinded by the thick fluffiness soon followed the noises that awoke Dawn.
“TARA!” Dawn screeched louder as she thundered out of the bedroom onto the landing.
Through the open door of the bathroom the redhead’s feet could be seen kicking uselessly against the door as she struggled petrified with the towel only to finally shed it and be faced with the sight of Tara unconscious.
“TARA!” Willow screeched at an even higher pitch then Dawn had as she reached out with a shaky hand across the tiles toward the blonde.
Willow’s call helped Dawn place the two missing woman and in just a few long strides she was framed in the doorway, though only for a second before she dropped to her knees near the entrance taking in the scene before her.
“Willow, oh God, what happened?” She asked of the shaking redhead.
“I killed her.” Willow’s fingers slapped lightly against the tiles as she stopped short of touching Tara.
From behind them there came a rapid thud of footsteps on the stairs a distance away.
“Dawn, Willow, Tara, this isn’t funny, what’s going on?” Anya’s perturbed voice called from the direction of the stairs.
“No, no you didn’t.” Dawn shook her head though as she looked at Tara’s prone form it was hard for the young woman to banish the image that had greeted her that fateful afternoon from her mind.
“I’m bad.” Willow pulled her hand back curling up into a tight ball.
“No, you’re not.” Dawn’s voice was a frightened squeak as she watched Willow curl up and begin rocking. “Oh God.” She felt her lip begin to tremble.
“What do we do?” Anya questioned leaning over Dawn to appraise what was going on. “Pills, do we get her pills?”
“I... I don’t know.” Dawn glanced quickly over her shoulder at the vengeance demon.
“W... Willow?” Tara groggily whispered as her blue eyes blinked slowly open her brow furrowing in confusion when those eyes focused on a white bath side.
“Bad... bad... so bad.” Willow whined as she rocked her body against the tiles.
“Tara!” Dawn turned round again quickly to look at the Wicca.
“Dawn?” Tara shifted her shoulders around a little and turned her head to what she hoped was the direction of Dawn’s voice. As she did she caught sight of Willow’s huddled form. “Oh God Willow.” Her voice was shocked and scared. “What’s wrong with Willow?” She turned wide frightened blue eyes up at the pair in the doorway.
“She’s having an episode.” Anya filled in stepping awkwardly past Dawn to the blonde and helping her sit up. “If we’re really unlucky she’ll have a seizure or start to climb the walls.”
“An episode?” Tara questioned the demon’s phrasing. “A seizure, climbing the walls?” She looked between Anya and Dawn for clarification or explanation.
“It’ll be fine, well once we calm her down. Did she have her pills?” Anya fixed Tara’s dishevelled hair.
“Her pills.” Tara looked back at Anya and shook her head. “We were coming to clean her teeth and then take them.”
“Her pills don’t do this, unless she misses a lot.” Dawn scoffed at the demon’s explanation as she moved slowly closer to the redhead. “She just needs to know she’s safe.” She felt herself slip into its normal role as she eased the towel away and tucked it behind Willow’s head to keep it away from the wall.
The Wicca leaned forward slightly reaching her hand out towards Willow as Dawn to got closer.
“Dawn you know better than to touch her when she’s like this. I mean you’re better than me trying, but you still shouldn’t. Remember that time she gave you the black eye.” Anya called in warning. “And you probably shouldn’t try either.” She turned to Tara.
“Buffy’s not here.” Dawn looked back at Anya trying to will the woman to shut up. “We don’t have a choice.”
“It’s okay, I can do this.” Tara looked up at them both. “She’s just scared, I can feel it.” She briefly closed her eyes.
“Darkness... dark... darkness.” Willow’s hands clawed around her temples as her body contorted.
“Not dark sweetie, see, look, look how light it is, open your eyes for me.” Tara dropped her voice to a harmonious purr as she lifted her hand up and moved it in a small circle above where they sat causing a bright, yet not glaring warm yellow light to glow around them.
“Darkness... empty... coming to get me.” Willow’s voice was shrill for a moment but as the glow of the light settled on her skin.
“Open your eyes baby.” Tara encouraged again, her tone never changing. She watched as the muscles of Willow’s face relaxed a little under the warming glow.
“How are you doing that?” Dawn questioned softly as the light spun around them. Tara’s blue eyes flickered up to look at Dawn briefly.
“I... I don’t know.” She admitted her voice tiny.
“Who cares, keep it up.” Anya encouraged.
“Baby... I can’t find you... you’re gone, you’re gone.” Willow whispered her arms and legs staying taunt though the rocking ended.
“I’m not gone, I could never leave you.” Tara felt her voice crack a little as she leaned closer. “I will never leave you.” She reached out her hand and held it out close to Willow’s body. “Just reach out for me Sweetie.” Tara encouraged. “Reach out and I promise, I promise I will be there.” She said with utter conviction.
The hacker’s body hesitated for a moment as the words seemed to fade through layers of torment. Her fingers snapped loose of the tight fist she had clenched them in and with a jerky unsure movement she reached out trying to find the blonde.
Tara instantly thrust her hand and arm into Willow’s reach, clamping her hand tightly around the thin arm the instant they touched.
“I’m right here.” Tara’s tears won over as her long fingers closed around Willow’s arm.
Green eyes snapped open for an instant holding blue ones before they rolled up and she dropped into limp unconsciousness. Tara’s eyes closed too for a moment as the Wicca drew in a long lungful of air through her nose as she pulled back the ties of control.
“We need to get her to back to bed.” Tara opened her eyes and looked at Anya. “Can Xander help us?”
“He’s not here.” Anya seemed stuck for a moment. “Dawn and I can lift her.”
“Be careful with her, please.” Tara moved back as best she could from Willow giving the other two more room
It was a slow and delicate procedure but Anya and Dawn managed to get the limp body upright and carefully drag her back to the bedroom. Dawn returned to Tara almost immediately.
“Are you okay? Did you hurt anything?” She kneeled down next to Tara.
“I think my leg was hurting before I hit the floor.” Tara admitted. “Did you get Willow comfortable?”
“She in bed.” Dawn nodded. “I’m sorry... it wasn’t you... she gets like that when she gets scared.” She tried to explain feeling guilty for having gone to sleep now and letting all of this happen.
“It’s ok Dawn, it’s ok.” Tara stressed. “And stop that.” She added softly.
“Stop what?” Dawn paused confused.
“Blaming yourself.” Tara replied.
“I should have been awake, then I could have helped.” Dawn shook her head. “We’ll wake her up in a few minutes and give her the pills. Get you two comfy.”
“Saying that you should have been awake, is like saying I should have been cuddling Willow by the dresser and not stood in front of window three months ago.” Without thinking Tara related the instant before her death with clarity.
“That wasn’t... okay.” Dawn conceded. “Do you want to be with her?”
“Thank you.” Tara smiled grateful that the teenager hadn’t challenged her point. “I think it’s best if I stay here at least until she’s medicated, don’t you?”
“If you think that’s best.” Dawn nodded.
“DAWN! ANYA, Where is everyone?” Buffy’s voice called up the stairs the second after the front door flew open.
“Ah the easy way back to the bathroom just showed up.” Tara looked at Dawn with a smile.
“Buffy, we’re up here.” Dawn called back hoping she could interject before Anya did. “Yeah, she’s much better than we are at the carry bit.” She heard her sister guided into the bedroom by the demon.
“Go on back to Willow, I’m sure there is a night time routine you have with her.” Tara made the difficult statement as she leaned back against the side of the tub. The thought that there was this huge and necessary routine for her lover that she simply wasn’t a part of literally made her heart ache.
“Maybe it’s best if we keep her on her routine for awhile, just till she gets used to the idea she’s not dreaming you.” Dawn questioned with a frown.
“It’s best.” Tara nodded.
“She’s never calmed down that quickly before.” Dawn leaned over on her legs a little looking into distant blue eyes. “Never.” She underlined.
“Thank you.” Tara said appreciative of the young woman’s efforts.
“And the only routine we have is cause you’re not here to be the routine. You used to be the routine, with funny shapes and flowers and...” Dawn played her fingers into the lines between the tiles. “You are the routine, we’re just the half working filler.”
Tara reached out and played her fingers into Dawn’s as they traced the lines together.
“But Buffy prefers rounds because they’re stackable.” She said softly. “And Willow, she prefers waffles, so the syrup sticks in the squares”
“See you are the routine.” Dawn looked up with a happy smile.
“I bet you don’t say that next time I remind you to clean your room.” Tara smiled back. “Go on Give Willow the help she needs, I’m not going anywhere.” She encouraged Dawn tenderly.
Squeezing Tara’s fingers briefly the teenager nodded and pushed up from her place on the floor.
“I’ll be right back.” She promised as she skipped out.
******
by WiccansIllusion » Mon Jun 24, 2002 1:18 am 
Tara's waiting for you. I can't wait to see her reaction. Hope everything will be okay.
does intead conquer all. 
I feel so bad for her. She really has a long way to go, but Tara will get her there. They'll get there together, right? And Tara will be alright? 
I liked the kiss they shared too. Very sweet. Thank you. 