Dawn looked out over the front porch and patted her feet under the blanket that was covering both her and Tara as they observed life in Sunnydale going by slowly as everyone began hiding their homes for the night.
“This is so cool.” The teenager admitted as she slurped at her large milkshake.
“I seem to remember you like shakes.” Tara glanced at the teenager with a smile.
“I love shakes, especially huge ones.” Dawn nodded. “You always make me promise to eat something green.”
“Well there were many green things in the Chinese.” Tara grinned. “You ate well at supper.” She added not stopping to think about how motherly she must have sounded.
“Then I’m ahead already.” Dawn laughed lightly. “I almost ate as well as Willow.”
“Almost.” Tara looked pleased with herself and her lover. “She did very well.”
“Tara, that’s more than Willow has eaten in some weeks.” Dawn admitted trying not to dampen the mood but trying to be honest. “And now she’s up doing research. This is way off the wow factor.”
“She is off the wow scale.” Tara confirmed that this was indeed how she felt about the redhead.
“You still get that sparkly look in your eye.” Dawn swooned hugging the blanket to her. “I can’t wait till I meet someone who makes me sparkly.”
“Oh Dawnie you have plenty of time.” Tara laughed softly. “Have you even done the big kiss thing yet? I hadn’t when I was sixteen.”
“Big kiss? Mmmm well there was one but he turned out to be a vampire who wanted to turn me so I’m not counting him.” Dawn shook her head.
“Eww no.” Tara shook her head definitely. “He most certainly doesn’t count.”
“I think that since then Buffy has scared off every teenage boy within fifty feet of me hasn’t helped either.” Dawn sighed softly.
“Well come on Dawnie, she has the best looking baby sister in the whole of Sunnydale.” Tara soothed. “She has to watch you. I bet I used to watch you too.”
“At least you’d encourage me to bring someone around.” Dawn whined. “I think she expects me to be a nun.”
“Oh so there is a someone you want to bring to the house.” Tara turned softly and looked at the young woman beside her.
“Well no... I mean maybe... but I couldn’t even think about it before.” Dawn blushed a little.
“You can now though.” Tara offered Dawn her hand.
“I know.” Dawn grinned and laced her fingers into the blonde. “And I know everyone’s worried but its going to be so much better now, I just know it will be.”
“Thank you.” Tara stroked the back of the teenager’s hand softly.
“How are you feeling?” Dawn asked softly. “I must be still weird with all of us.” She clarified. “I mean not bad weird but just weird.”
“It is, and no not bad weird, just… you know my spirit feels at ease, even if my mind is questioning.” Tara tried to explain. “Goddess Dawnie, sorry was that me going introspective on you?”
“Introspective is good.” The teenager encouraged. “You need lots of you time.”
“Maybe but I don’t want it when I could be having Dawnie time.” Tara smiled warmly at the youngest summers. “So tell me all about the possible maybes.” She leaned closer.
******
Madalene stood near the edge of the island in the kitchen not really looking at anything as she pushed a finger into her right temple trying to quell the claustrophobic feeling in her mind and body.
Looking around at everything she thought it must be highly ironic to the universe that while Tara should be the one who felt the most out of place after her recent rising, it was her that felt the most alien among this close knit group.
It hadn’t been the most fantastic day in her short history, after all it had not been her intention to completely make enemies with Buffy’s watcher. But now that the older man seemed to refuse to even look at her, she was sure she’d managed to accomplish that none the least. Sometimes she wished she could sew her own tongue shut in her mouth. Thoughts and comments came out of her mind from recesses she didn’t know or understand and before she could quell them it was too late. It was like reading aloud in a foreign language that you didn’t understand until it was too late to take back the horrible insult that you’d just thrown.
“Hey witchy woo.” Xander hopped into the room carrying the now empty tray that he had just taken up to offer Willow some fruit and chocolate. “The Willow took the chocolate and the apple but hey I got a banana I could split with ya.” The young man pretended to pull the fruit from his waistband.
“Oh... no thank you. I’m fine.” Madalene turned around.
“You’re quiet.” Xander began peeling the banana as he hitched up onto the island looking at the spellcaster.
“Just trying to remind myself to keep my mouth shut more often.”
“What do you mean?” Xander enquired.
“I just said something completely out of line to Mr. Giles earlier, something I had no right to judge or comment on.” Madalene sighed and leaned against the counter.
“Oh no worries.” Xander shrugged. “He might look and seem all you know, old, but he’s cool.”
“I just...” She turned to him about to say something when she stopped herself. “I’m sorry Xander, you don’t need to listen to me whining on about things.”
“No, no please, its nice. I miss whining.” Xander waved his hand around a little.
“It’s just I know I am an outsider and I know I don’t have half a clue about what’s going on here or has gone on or will go on.” Madalene folded her arms over her chest. “Oh who am I kidding it has nothing to do with that. I just... I don’t remember anything Xander. I have a stupid little letter that tells me hardly anything. I have no memory, I have nothing but knowledge stuck inside my head that pops up at stupid times and inevitably makes me sound like a pretentious ass.”
“You know you can shoot me for saying anything here.” Xander began softly. “But perhaps its time you started you know, making new memories. I mean not that I’m Mr. great perspective, but you have a real chance here to make whatever you like of this life.”
“But how can I make a new life when I have no idea what my old life was? What I need to improve on, what I need to do just as good or better.” The spellcaster frowned.
“Be true to what you feel.” Xander shrugged again. “I mean you have no chance of getting back the old stuff right? So you can’t judge yourself by someone you didn’t know. The you that you are now seems like a nice kind of person.”
“Thank you.” Madalene smiled softly at him reaching out to steal a piece off the banana he’d offered earlier.
“Hey Banana thief.” Xander grinned. “So what did you say to the G man?”
“I think I called him stupid or ignorant or both.” She frowned trying to remember.
“Ouch, way not to make friends.” Xander grimaced.
“He was talking about what was done to Willow to stop her magical mania and I just couldn’t believe what he was saying.” Madalene defended herself half-heartedly. “It was one of those times when all this information pushes out and I’m sorta left behind it.”
“Ah, yeah, though the tip would be lay of the Giles with the Willow references. One of the only reasons he left for England again was because of how bad he felt about it. He went to hound the Council and the coven that sent him for a way to make it better.” Xander didn’t want to make her feel worse but felt she needed to know.
“I can’t imagine how much it hurt him.” Madalene nodded that she understood.
“Best not too.” Xander shivered slightly. “It was a bad time, bad time.” He shook his head and for the first time lost a little of his typical Xander charm.
“Xander, I don’t know why but I feel like there is something that I can help with in this, like there’s something I know about this but I can’t get it out unless I know more.” She walked closer to him. “Can you tell me what went on?”
“After Tara died?” Xander checked.
“Anything to do with the magic.” Madalene urged softly.
“We might wanna go sit down.” Xander pointed towards the living room. “This could take awhile.”
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."
To The Land of The RainbowWriters