Rating: PG to PG-13 to R (you decide)
Feedback: Yummy.
Summary: Willow and Tara’s conversation the night before “Seeing Red”.
Author’s Note: We all need an outlet for our grief… this one’s mine.
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It was way past midnight and the silver moon cast an ethereal glow in Willow’s bedroom. Nothing could be heard but the slow breaths of two individuals deeply moved by each other right after making love.
“A penny for your thoughts.” Willow whispered to Tara as the blonde remained motionless for the past few minutes with her eyes transfixed at the ceiling.
“Funny you should ask that… I-I don’t feel coherent enough to have thoughts at this moment.” Tara answered still not moving her gaze.
“Oh, in that case, just say what you feel then, I’ll listen...” Willow said while moving one finger along Tara’s naked torso and she felt her lover take a deep breath before saying her words.
“I feel... everything,” Tara paused; she could feel her pupils dilate as she tried to find the words. “You know, uhm, the feeling that everything is so perfect it depresses you.”
“*Depress*... I’m depressing you?” Willow asked... she wasn’t angry or bothered though, just plain curious why Tara should use that word.
“Yeah, this is one of those few moments in life where everything falls into place. L-like right now, I just want to, maybe, call the corners... stop the dawn from arising so this moment won’t end.”
“Want me to help you?” the redhead teased.
“Willow!” Tara shot a glance at Willow whose lips formed a mischievous grin.
“Kidding. I was listening and understanding every word you were saying, I was just, you know trying to ease some tension, not that you’re tensed ‘cause I know that you’re very relaxed and that’s why I’m gonna, uhm, shut up now, before the babbling wrecks everything in this meaningful conversation.”
“Thank you,” Tara smiled and gave Willow a quick kiss before returning her gaze at the ceiling. “And as I was saying, I dunno, I’m just scared, I guess.”
“A minute ago, you were depressed, now you’re scared... Tara, everything’s going to be fine. I know it will be. We’ve been through so much, what else could possibly happen?” Willow tried to reassure the now teary-eyed Tara.
“I know... I-I just worry because of that same reason. We’ve been through so much and most of that *so much* came right after moments...”
“Like this one.” Willow cut her short.
Tara nodded slightly. “Yeah, it’s like, the calm before the storm or something. Like time freezes at the perfect moment, but not really... it’s like the universe is just taking this huge breath and readying itself to blow it all up on you.”
“Hmmm...” was all the sound that Willow could manage to produce for she also realized that she was feeling the same, somehow.
The two lay in silence for a few minutes more, until Tara broke it with a hopeful question.
“You understand, right?”
“Yeah,” Willow responded, “And I just hope I could make you feel better, somehow.”
“You already are. I mean, Will, I have never felt better since we parted, and I could ask for nothing else but hopefully, more of this.”
“Really?” Willow smiled.
“Yes. Really.” Tara said, then pondered quite a bit and continued, “oh, but there’s one thing you could do for me.” she said as she rolled to her side now facing Willow.
“What?”
“Close your eyes for me, Willow.”
“Hmmm... what are we up to? Round 4?” Willow said smirking.
“Horn dog!” Tara shot back, amused. “Just please, close your eyes.”
Willow followed; she just couldn’t refuse her Tara. And as she closed her eyes, she felt Tara’s fingers trace her eyebrows. Then another finger gently traced the bridge of her nose... then the outline of her lips. Willow couldn’t see Tara’s expression but she felt the deep concentration her blonde lover had with what she was doing.
“Tar, honey, what are you doing?” asked Willow as she opened her eyes.
Tara’s blue eyes shone as she saw them, and Willow felt like she drowning in the deep emotion that was displayed in Tara’s eyes.
“I was just memorizing your face.” Replied Tara with a gentle smile. “Not that I haven’t memorized it yet, I mean, I close my eyes and all I see is you, but this time, I wanna memorize how it feels.”
Willow smiled back as she took both of Tara’s hands and placed one on the side of her cheek, cupping it. The other hand, Willow held tightly with hers. Intertwining their fingers, she placed their hands gently, but firmly rested on her chest.
“You know this heart will beat only for you, and there’s no reason to be scared anymore because we’re together just like how it should be. Tara, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just be here... I’ll stay... with you—for you.”
“And Miss Kitty Fantastico.” Tara added sheepishly.
“And yeah, Miss Kitty, too.”
“So, Will, uhm, we’re always gonna be like this, huh?”
“Yeah. Always. For the rest of this lifetime.”
“For the rest of lifetime.” Tara repeated with a sigh, she felt a huge weight lifted off from her shoulders. It was the sweetest thing she has ever heard since their break-up and she knew right then that she and her Willow will always be together no matter what.
Willow reached up for a kiss, which Tara returned wholeheartedly. And when the kiss broke, Tara saw Willow almost automatically fall asleep. She gazed at the sleeping redhead for a few moments longer, then smiled and whispered to Willow’s ear,
“For the rest of this lifetime... and the ones that will come after this.”
And she felt herself also drifting to a peaceful slumber.
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"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong, and those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie "Once and Again"
at: 12/29/02 7:12:43 pm
at: 7/12/02 9:44:23 pm
