Fic: Tears in Heaven

[umadamber]

Again with the brilliance. And now I'm officially your stalker, did u say sumin about another update tonite?



Sorry my language is rubbish. I'm a cockney so i spell it as I'd say it

Willow: Oh, um. Various sounds of hesitation.
Tara: She was just a friend.
Willow: Friends are nice.

[Urn of Osiris]

OK alot of explaining for Tara to do. I agree that Dawn would be like "cool" and just deal. She's been through way to many strange events to freak.



I think it's very interesting that Willow would go to Anya. Shows just how much Willow would do to find her soulmate.



I can't wait to have Anya pop in on the big meeting. LOL I know it'll be good.



Can't wait for more

Urn

________________**

WILLOW: That's a work ethic! Buffy, you're developing a work ethic.

BUFFY: Oh, no. Do they make an ointment for that
"you can not have more fan fic, you have a fan fic problem"

[Miss1234Kitty]

Hi! Well, here is Buffy's reaction. Anya/Xander - I'm not going to write a separate part for each of them - should be coming quite soon. Willow's will be last cos I'm cruel. Replies will be coming quite soon but not today as I have to do the adoring cousin thing and babysit. Grr. And there's not even a Buffy episode to watch while I get thrown up on. Lovely. (Pity would be nice here, guys).



Gem



Part 5c - Deep Talk



Buffy



As Tara and Dawn talked, sitting hand in hand on the couch, they heard the door slam open and laughing as Buffy, Anya and Xander entered the house.



“Hey, Dawn,” Buffy called. “Feel like a movie night filled with horrible teen movies and bad plot lines?…” her voice trailed off as they came into the lounge and noticed the two sitting on the couch. Unexpectedly, the Slayer leapt forward and yanked Dawn away from Tara, pushing her behind Xander.



“Stay back there,” she told her sister curtly, then turned to the new arrival. “As for you, I don’t know who the hell you are, but get out of my house!”



Dawn rubbed her arm and scowled. “Hey, ouch! And what do you mean? It’s Tara, Buffy! Look.”



“I’m looking,” Buffy said tensely. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Tara was dead. Slipping automatically into fighting stance, she raised her fists as Tara hesitantly got up from the couch.



“Buffy, it’s me,” Tara told her carefully, hurt but not shocked by the Slayer’s attitude. Dawn had been so relieved and happy to have her back that she hadn’t really thought about what had happened. Buffy’s attitude was typical of the Slayer – business first, emotions last. Once a rational explanation had been provided for her existence, then Buffy would accept that she was alive.



Moving around so that she was face to face with Tara, Buffy kept her fists raised and her face neutral. “I don’t believe you.”



“Fine,” Tara said quietly, dropping her own fighting stance – who was she kidding? She wouldn’t have a chance against the Slayer anyway. “What can I do to convince you?”



Buffy’s answer was unexpected, but it was possibly the only way that Tara could prove herself to her friend. “Tell me about Willow.”



Tara smiled. This, she could handle. If there was a class in Willow, she’d get straight A*’s, and 100% in the final exam. “Her favourite colour is blue, the same colour as my eyes,” she began. “She smells of peaches and cream. She’s scared of horses and frogs, because when she was five Percy put a frog down her neck, and later a horse bit her arm. Xander Harris and Buffy Summers are her best friends. Her biggest ambition is to win the Nobel Prize, but she’s scared of public speaking and pressure so she’d make you say the acceptance speech. I am her everything.” This last was said with pure joy. No matter what she did in life, no matter what gifts the Elders might send to her, Tara knew that her greatest accomplishment was to capture the heart of one Willow Danielle Rosenberg and to give her own in return. Tara gazed steadily at the Slayer. “Do you want me to go on?”



Buffy shook her head no. “You could have found that out from any amount of people,” she said shakily.



“I could have,” Tara agreed.



Silently, Buffy lowered her fists as she stared at Tara, searching her face for some kind of reassurance that this was not another person here to hurt Willow. She’d suffered so much lately, and the Slayer was well aware that if she found and then lost Tara again, it would kill her friend. If not physically, then mentally. Still, if it was Tara, then her being back would change everything. Buffy remembered her reunion with Angel, and that in one moment when she’d seen him again, it had felt as though he’d switched on the lights and brightness and love was flooding her world again. Struggling to hold back tears of relief and happiness, Buffy looked deep into her friend’s eyes and saw the classic Tara-spark that they’d all missed so much. Too much.



“It’s you,” she breathed. “It’s really you.” Awkwardly, she moved forward, unsure of what to do. Strangely, she and Tara had become much closer since she and Willow had split up, but this new consequence changed a lot of things.



It hadn’t changed Tara, though. She moved forward, staring at Buffy, and gently she held out her arms. The Slayer collapsed into them, desperately happy that Tara was back. “It’s okay,” Tara whispered, stroking her hair gently. “It’s all gonna be okay, Buffy. You don’t always have to be strong.”



“Good,” Buffy sniffled. “‘Cos I’m gonna start crying now.” She did just that, her arms wrapping tightly around Tara’s waist.



“Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak, Buffy,” Tara pointed out.



“I know,” Buffy sobbed out, reaching out an arm to pull Dawn into the embrace. Anya and Xander stood still, silently absorbing and coming to their own conclusions about the events of the past fifteen minutes. They exchanged glances, Anya’s eyes wide with delight, and then she flung herself into Xander’s arms, too excited to even realise what she was doing. Dawn noticed, and gave Xander the thumb’s up. Everything is gonna be perfect now, she thought complacently. Tara’s back, so Willow will be fine. Xander and Anya are in the same room and not screaming at each other, and Buffy’s crying for the first time in a long time. Normally, Dawn wouldn’t associate crying with healing, but she was old enough and mature enough to realise that her sister needed to release the tension that had been building inside her for the past year.

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: Miss1234Kitty at: 8/29/02 6:58:18 am

[mollyig]

Oh I think Tara definitely got 100% in that test! I'm glad Buffy trusted her instincts and realised that it was indeed Tara.



Dawn thinks everything will be okay now. Hmm, but will it be that simple?



Nice update!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[jdcioffi]

Excellent ... while I loved that Dawnie took her coming back with no questions -- I have to believe that Buffy would be more cautious. Very well done on the part of Buff.



As for everything being okay -- we still have to get Willow in the pic, don't we?



Excellent ... excellent ... excellent.



JD

"Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying, "maybe..." (Jeff Buckley - The Last Goodbye)

[darkmagicwillow]

I like what you're doing so far with Tara plus you explained the mystery of what happened to MKF. I like Giles having a cat too.

--
"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[xita]

Yeah Dawn's optimism is youth's optimism. How will they tell Willow? geez.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

[eccentrictulip]

i'm late in my feedback, but these past few updates were great & very much appreciated!! i wonder how willow will take all of this when she finds out tara'a alive.....not to mention, when/how will they tell her? should be very good reading..... buffy's reaction was very true to her character as was tara's response to buffy. very well done!! *waits semi-patiently for more....*

*please use both hands....*

[LadyCallie]

::wrings hands:: How do I start? Speaking as one who is separated from her soulmate (my family moved to Texas and I was forced along, leaving my beloved Kat in Ohio) the power your story holds is just amazing. My darling, this is just incredible! I was drawn to it from your title, then scared away because it's post-Season 6 and we all know who that ends and even if the fic promises it's gonna be happy, it still has to be sad to get to the happy and I'm one of those who think the unknown evil is the greater one and oh lordy I'm Willow Babbling.....sheesh. Why doesn't somebody stop me when I do that?!



:: blush:: Anyways, this is just wonderful. I was nearly bawling the whole time. It's so sad, yet not, and written *perfectly*. I think you should send this fic to Joss and the bastards at ME and then they can at least see that happiness can happen on Buffy. Believe it or not.



Also, your Giles is great. I hadn't really thought about the connection he shares with Willow because of how he lost his soulmate.



Okay, now all I can say is keep it up. I'm off to copy/paste this fic to a disk and mail it to my girlfriend, who will also love it. Thank you deary.





-LadyCallie

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! :)

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my grilfriend last night.

Moderator of the
Dark Angel Fanfiction Board and Boo's Corner.


~*~

[Loco2]

hah hah! yes... dawn's mature alright...



that update was very cool, typical buffy to freak out, but it's good that it was all sorted, and i, too, am old enough and mature enough to realise that buffy's crying was a good thing *snort*



sorry



this part was brilliantly written (well actually all of it is, but anyhoo...) and tara most certainly did get her 100%



thank you for this



steph

"I'm not gay - I'm just Trevor's bitch." - some drunken guy about his sexuality
"Oh, bugger off, you BROLLY!" - Anya to Giles on his use of the english language
"We'll all be a lot happier without the constant whining....Mom, Buffy, Tara, Waah" - DMW to Dawn

[Miss1234Kitty]

You guys are so sweet! Thank you for all the lovely replies, and I will do personal replies soon. However, RL is not being nice at the moment, so it might be a couple of days before I can get the next update up. There's some stuff going on that I need to get sorted out first. I promise that I won't abandon you for so long this time though! Week, max. Probably less.



Gem

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

[LadyCallie]

Oh hun, believe me I know that real life can be such a bitca. Take your time....goddess knows I'm slower then....something really slow... when it comes to writing new chapters for my fics. : s::





-LC

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! :)

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my grilfriend last night.

Moderator of the
Dark Angel Fanfiction Board and Boo's Corner.


~*~

[mollyig]

Hey don't worry, we'll be here whenever you're able to update.



Take care, okay?

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Miss1234Kitty]

Everyone, thanks so much for the replies and support that you've offered. Surprisingly, I did actually manage to write quite a lot - at least, I wrote a part which will be posted. I would have written more if I din't have to work two hours overtime. *pout* Why isn't there a pout emoticon? Oh well. Here are replies, and the update will follow afterwards.



**Jdcioffi: I have to ask. How did you chose your name? I've been typing it Jdcoffi until my sister pointed out that I was spelling it wrong. Anyhow, I'm glad that you agree with the way I portrayed Dawn's reaction. A lot of people (including my sister, who is doubling as a beta reader until I hear from Ruth) said that she would be more freaked than that. My opinion is that she's been through too much and loves Tara far too much for that. Buffy, however, is the Slayer through and through.



**Mollyig: Tara ALWAYS gets 100% in Willow class. Yeah, Dawn's being a kid again. Part of me said that she's grown up but I still think that part of her is the kid that says it's all solved now, like it was when Buffy came back. Thanks for your support, it means a lot.



**Umadamber: Brilliance? Wow. Excuse me while I do a happy little dance. Okay, so I think the bounce emoticons are cute. It could be interpreted as dancing.



**Urnofosiris: Explanations are on the way, I promise. The way I figure it, Willow's so desperate to find Tara that she'd go to SPIKE if it would help. For Spuffy fans by the way, I doubt that he will make an appearance in this fic. He's a pain.



**Darkmagickwillow: I always wondered what happened to MKF. I was afraid that Spike might have gambled her, but I decided that I'd give her a happy ending. Don't ask where she is now, because I haven't figured that out yet.



**Xita: In my mind, Dawn will always be a little kid in some way - at least I hope so. Willow had the same youth in her and the events of season sucks took that away. As for telling her, she will be told by the only person who can tell her. Am I speaking in riddles? Yes. Am I going to expand on that? No. Sorry. Gonna have to wait for that update, which should be sometime tomorrow or Monday.



**Eccentrictulip: Feedback is appreciated at any time, believe me. See Xita's reply for the extremely fraustrating riddle on how they will tell her. *evil chuckle*. Thank you for the compliments. I never thought that Buffy would just accept it - which was silly really. She's the only one who's been through a similar experience. Tara might have been in hell, but she lost her mother just as Buffy lost her peace.



**LadyCallie: They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, I hope for your sake that it is so. Thank you so much for all your comments, you will never know how much they meant to me. As for the title, I felt that it was slightly depressing, but it was perfect for the storyline. I will, however, use an Eric Clapton song for the sequel, and that will be a happier, less scary title. By the way, Willow Babbling is always, always welcome. I always felt that Giles's loss of Jenny and his revenge on Angel was something that should be discussed, and hopefully it will next season. I'm impatient, though.



**Loco2: Part of me agrees with you, and says that Dawn isn't mature. (That was sarcasm, right? It's hard to tell when it's written down.) However, another part says that she's grown up a lot in the past year, and I hope that she will continue to do so. Buffy needed to cry, at least I think so, though there do appear to be a lot of tears! Oh well, I warned you about that with the title!



Okay, all done! Update now!



Gem

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

[Miss1234Kitty]

Part 5d – Deep Talk



Giles whistled as they strolled along the lakefront, his hands stuck in his coat pockets. Here, Willow noticed, surrounded by other Englishmen in tweed, with the cold weather and cups of tea galore, he was in his element. If she was honest with herself, there had always been a part of Giles that had never quite fitted in America, and she’d always sensed a slight loneliness to him. He loved America, that was certain, but Rupert Giles was an Englishman through and through.



“I didn’t know you could whistle,” she commented, shivering a little. Giles noticed it, and withdrew a pair of large black gloves from his pocket. When she put them on, she noticed that there was enough room for two fingers in each finger hole. Willow attempted to whistle herself, only managing to produce one note. A young man, who was handsome even to a gay heartbroken woman, glanced at her with a smile, and did an approving double-take. She smirked, remembering a time that she’d tried to convince Tara that she also was attractive to men – and women.



What are they looking at?

The hotness of you, doofus!



That beautiful morning had ended with Tara convincing Willow that she only had eyes for her. Two days later, she left her. Not that Willow blamed her – no, she certainly didn’t. One thing that she’d realised during the past two months was that Tara leaving her had played a big part in her temporary abandoning of magick. Still, she’d gone so far that even that hadn’t stopped her. It had taken Dawnie getting hurt before she’d eventually realised how far she’d fallen.



“Willow,” Giles stated seriously. She glanced at him, her face concerned. He looked ready to begin another of the deep talks that they had started the morning with, and she barely suppressed a groan. At times, all she wanted to do was talk and release the feelings and emotions building within her. At other times, though, Willow just wanted to hide and ignore all that she’d done. She’d lived without Tara in her life before they’d met – couldn’t she pretend that it had never happened? Part of her said that she wanted to remember and relish every moment that she’d spent with Tara Maclay. Another part said that the pain of loss was too severe for her to keep thinking about it. Willow knew, though, that she would rather live the rest of her life with pain a hundred times worse than this than forget the two precious years that she and her soulmate had spent together. If she really didn’t want to talk, Willow supposed, all she had to do was tell Giles, and he would drop the subject immediately. Still, he deserved to be given the chance to help, and perhaps he needed to talk. This isn’t all about you, Willow, she reminded herself. Think of him as well – think of everyone. You lost your soulmate, but they lost Tara and the me that they used to know.



“Pasties or hot dogs?” Giles asked. She gazed at him, wideyed. That hadn’t been the question that she’d been expecting, and he suppressed a smile. Willow tended to avoid talking about herself wherever possible – another example of her falling self-esteem – and therefore expected everyone else to want her to rehash the pain that Tara’s death had caused. Perhaps that had been Buffy’s method of helping her, though he doubted it, but it wasn’t his. He and Willow would talk when and where she wanted and needed to.



Willow looked confused. “Pasties? I’ve never tried one of those.” She paused. “I don’t think. Tara used to make some roll-type things which were lovely, but I never actually knew what they were.”



The Watcher scoffed. “Sausage rolls. Not a patch on Cornish Pasties. Well, if you haven’t had one then you must try it now. Meat or cheese and onion?”



“Cheese and onion, please,” she said obediently, and in a few minutes time accepted a steaming cheese and onion pasty from him. “This is gorgeous,” she muttered around a mouthful of cheese, and Giles nodded his agreement, too preoccupied with his meat pasty to answer. The two continued their walk, properly replenished. Willow’s sense of nausea had returned after eating, though she’d stubbornly ignored it, and it had abated once she was standing by the sea, breathing the salty air in deeply.



“It’s gorgeous,” she murmured, leaning her forearms on the metal rails and watching three teenage boys skateboard down the boardwalk. “Giles?”



“Yes?”



“Did you kill Ben?”



Giles was temporarily struck dumb. “I – I did. How did you know?”



“I didn’t,” she responded. “At least, not officially until now. I just – I suspected. Buffy had injured Glory badly, but if he’d got to a hospital he would have lived. He just seemed to die too quickly, and I knew that you were the only one who would have done it.”



When he spoke, his voice was strained. “I’m the only one with that kind of darkness in me, you mean.”



“No,” Willow replied. She suddenly felt very tired. “If meant that, I’d have said so. You were right, and it wasn’t darkness, it was light and bravery. You were the only one of us who would put aside all personal feelings to do what had to be done. Even Buffy couldn’t do it, and I know you feel that is an attribute.” She hesitated. “I don’t agree with that, you know, Giles.” The Watcher was silent, letting her speak. “She kills demons who haven’t done a single wrong in their undead lives, just because they’re demons. If – if she had applied that to humans after the nerds killed Katrina, I would still have Tara.” Alarmed at his silence, Willow looked at Giles. “Don’t misinterpret me, please, Giles. Buffy has done so much good in her life, and I’m selfish and wrong to even say that she didn’t do her duty. She’s the Slayer, Giles. The one who fights the forces of darkness.” Here she paused, and inhaled sharply. “Which is more dark, Giles? A soulless demon who has taken the life of a human, or a human with a soul who murdered one of their own kind?”



“I don’t know,” the Watcher admitted. “I just don’t know any more, Willow.” It was the first time that she had ever seen him seem less than adult and all-knowing. This new side of him was unexpected but certainly welcome.



*********************************************************************



“Tara,” Anya said tentatively, still clutching Xander’s hand. Tara noticed, and smiled, and the two noticed immediately, and leapt apart, almost ashamed.



Tara waved a little at Anya and Xander. “Hi, guys,” she said sheepishly. “I’m alive.”



“You don’t say,” Xander said dryly, and had the grace to appear ashamed as Tara looked at the floor, embarrassed. “Sorry, Tara,” he apologised. “It’s just a shock.”



“I know,” she reassured him. He’d grown up, she realised. On the outside, he appeared to be the same joking, immature Xander of a year ago, but there was a tenderness and concern as he looked at her that she hadn’t noticed before. His carefree attitude was a show, one to hide behind, Tara assumed. She made a mental note to get Buffy to talk to him. The mature adult that she was seeing glimpses of was much more equipped to live on the Hellmouth than the Xander that Willow had known for so long.



Willow…



“I need to see Willow,” she said abruptly. Concern for how her friend’s were reacting gave way to a desperate longing to feel her soulmate in her arms again.



They exchanged glances, and Dawn spoke up. “Let’s sit on the couch,” she suggested, pulling Tara by the hand towards it. Xander sat on one end, and Anya automatically perched on his lap, and Tara sat at the other end with Buffy squashed in the middle. Dawn had immediately claimed Tara’s lap as a seat. Now that the truth of having Tara there, alive, was sinking in, she was terrified of once more losing the blonde who had come to take the place of her mother. So many people seemed to die in Dawn’s life, Tara realised. Too many. The death count in Sunnydale was often more than they could deal with – how could they expect a teenager to deal with it?



“Tara,” Buffy began gently. “The thing is, Willow’s in…”



“England,” Tara filled in with a groan and a pout. I wanna see my soulmate, she thought sulkily. Is that too much to ask? Shaking her head, she realised that it was. The Elders had returned her to this Earth. Now she needed to take control of her own life.



Startled, Anya blurted out, “How did you know?”



Tara opened her mouth to tell them about the Elders, when she realised that she didn’t want to, not without Willow there. Willow deserved to hear about it first, not second-hand over the phone. “I – uh, I guessed,” she improvised. “Didn’t really think that she’d be staying here.”



“Well, actually, she has,” Anya intervened. Tara glanced at her, eyes widening as she noticed the new changes to her aura. It was strange to have it back, she allowed. She’d lost the power to read auras when she and Willow had separated, but the fact that she had it back reassured her. It meant that her soul was whole when she could cast magick adequately, and that could only be so when she was with Willow. Not in the physical sense, as Willow was in England, but she knew in her heart that they would be together soon, and so did Willow, even if she didn’t know she did. Shaking her head mentally, Tara giggled. Was it possible that Willow’s habit of babbling had affected her to the extent that she babbled inside her head?



“Can you do anything?” she asked Anya. “You can’t teleport me, can you?”



“How did you know that she's a demon again?” Dawn asked curiously, feeling it was time that she inserted herself into the conversation again.



“Aura,” Tara said dismissively, and immediately regretted it. “Oh, Dawnie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just…everything’s happening so fast. I’m a little confused.” The brunette nodded her understanding and Tara continued, promising herself that she would make it up to Dawn with pancakes tomorrow. “Anya,” she requested, “could you do me a favour?”



“Of course,” she said immediately, and they were all reminded of the fact that they had all matured beyond their years lately – even thousand year old demons.



“Could you tell her for me?”



Xander, Buffy and Dawn all opened their mouths to protest, but Tara ignored them, gazing steadily at the demon. Either she looked a lot more pitiful than she thought, or Anya understood the pleading in her eyes, because she nodded reluctantly. “Yes, I will.”

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

[xita]

It's an interesting contrast with Tara being so happy to be in the world and ready to see Willow and everyone else's gloom and doom. And Willow's making progress towards healing and yet.. Tara awaits her. I can't wait for her reaction.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

[mollyig]

When Willow asked Giles about which was more dark, the fact that he admitted not knowing is so telling. I do think he's been good for her, but being with Tara again will be even better!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[cesario21]

Absolutely love this fic! Particularly liked Willow's speech about darkness, and about Buffy killing demons who've done no wrong, but letting murdering humans live; very well written part and addresses a lot of issues very eloquently...wish they'd write a speech like that into the show!!



Anyway, I eagerly await the next part! Keep up the good work!!



Snuggles,

Pillows xx

'...and there's not enough room in this world for my pain...signals cross and love gets lost and time past makes it plain...of all my demon spirits i need you the most...I'm in love with your ghost..' Indigo Girls

Edited by: cesario21 at: 9/2/02 5:48:16 am

[Miss1234Kitty]

Hi everyone! Update will be up very very soon. My friend is currently surfing with me, which is a huge achievement - she isn't even a Buffy fan, let alone W/T! Pillows, she thinks that you are very cute!







See you all later!



Gem + Jenny-Lou

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

[tiredsoul]

Damn, I fell behind and just caught up but I wasn't lucky enough to get all the way to Willow's reaction. Now I'm stuck wondering how she's going to react.



I like how she asked Giles if he had killed Ben and his reaction to the question. The reactions of the Scoobies to Tara's return puzzles me. She's all with the happy and they aren't so much. Hmmm. Guess I'll find out in the updates.



As always, great updates.



--celia

---------------------------------

"That was just rude. Now I forget what I was saying."

[jdcioffi]

My name? Well, my name is, uhm, my name. J. D. Cioffi ... I usually go by JD or Jessie



Anya helping out, eh? I'm a little nervous as to what's going to happen with the Anya telling bit ... but I trust you. You've yet to lead me astray



JD

"Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying, "maybe..." (Jeff Buckley - The Last Goodbye)

[Imperfectly Me]

more soon please? This is really really good.



Aim

[4evaWill]

Ok I'm not sure if this is gonna work cos I've only just registered here but I can honestly say that Tears In Heaven rocks! Keep writing, please!





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will: How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort

of naturally buff, Buff? (smiles and giggles) Buff Buff.

[LadyCallie]

Hehe Hi Jenny-Lou!! Hope you become converted soon!!! ]



: :: Another lovely part....hurry Tara, I can't wait to see Willow see her again!!! Oh be still my shippy heart......







-a very happy Lady

~*~

RealLiveTara is my RealLiveGirlfriend! :)

"It doesn't have to be a really frenchish french, I just wanna feel your tongue."- my grilfriend last night.

Moderator of the
Dark Angel Fanfiction Board and Boo's Corner.


~*~

[Miss1234Kitty]

Well Lady Callie you will soon be an even happier lady. You have answered the million dollar question correctly!



Okay, maybe not. But I'm updating! Is that as good? *HINT: The answer is better*



I might not be able to update for a while, as I go back to school tomorrow. And replies will not happen tonight, but one day they will. Maybe in 2007 this fic will suddenly appear, when Joss has listened to our pleas and resurrected Tara, and I'll say:



Upates for Part 4!



Okay, so I'm a little hyper. I'm in denial - 2 years of hard work lies ahead of me.



Here's the story!



Part 5a - A Love-Hate Relationship



As she closed her eyes and concentrated, Anya teleported into England and Giles’ home in Bath. It always took a few minutes for her body to locate itself, and she idly noticed the beads of sweat collecting on her hands. It was terrifying, being entrusted with this opportunity – Anya knew Tara well enough to know that she would not allow just anyone to tell Willow the best news of her entire life, and she also knew that there would be a lot of angry Scoobies if she screwed it up.



‘This is good news’, she told herself firmly, ignoring the butterflies – or bats, if she used Tara’s cliché – in her stomach. ‘Happy news in hard times is a good thing’. That didn’t matter, though. Once, and only once, had Anya granted a wish with a happy consequence. The case was startlingly like Willow’s, and she’d resurrected the dead partner for the sister of the partner left behind. Neither she or Anya had realised that there were consequences when a demon ignored their particular duty. Anya’s duty was to cause pain and destruction, and she’d brought happiness upon the heads of humans – men, no less. Her wish had been granted - after the sister gave up her own life in return.



So Anya had been left to break the news to the two lovers that they were whole once more, and it had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. News as shocking as this was upsetting no matter what the cause was. They had cried themselves into hysterics, and had started to rebuild their lives once more – together. That case – no, that hadn’t just been a case. Anya wasn’t sure what it meant to her, but it wasn’t a case. Seeds of doubt, long since planted, had started to flower, causing her to question the morals of her chosen career. Was this what she had been reduced to? Causing pain for others in order to avenge the hurt that male ignorance of her during her human life had caused. Inducing happiness instead of pain was so much more satisfying, despite the pangs of lonliness and regret that it had brought upon her. Ignoring them, she’d stupidly thrown herself into her work and granted a wish with dire consequences to one Cordelia Chase. The wish that had ended with a mortal Anya.



Shaking herself out of her self-pity, Anya found herself in Rupert Giles’ living room in Bath.



“Anya!” Giles said from his seat on the couch, as he removed his glasses to clean them. “What are you doing here?”



Instead of answering, Anya turned and found the answer to her search curled up in an over-stuffed armchair, her arms wrapped around her legs and her red hair hiding her face. She was sitting in Tara’s classic pose. “Hi, Willow,” Anya said quietly, giving a little wave. She immediately noticed that Willow seemed aware of her surroundings, and more like the ‘old’ Willow than ever. There was still an obvious air of loss and pain surrounding her, and she knew it probably wouldn’t leave. Tara’s return wouldn’t erase the pain of what had happened since she’d died. It would only help the recovery.



“Hi, Anya,” Willow replied softly, swinging her legs around so that she was facing her. “What’s up? Is everyone okay?” When she got no reply, Giles stood and pulled Anya down to sit on the couch.



“Anya?”



Anya couldn’t reply. Opening her mouth, she tried to reassure them, to tell Willow that her prayers had been answered, but no sound came out. So she sat there, gaping like a fish, and she still couldn’t tell them that Tara was alive.



“Anya, spit it out,” Giles said impatiently. He replaced his glasses and glared owlishly at her. Normally, Anya would have teased him for sounding so terribly English – who said spit it out any more? “If something is wrong, Anya, we need to be aware of it. I’ll book a flight home if I need to.”



Willow stood, realisation starting to dawn on her face. “It’s Tara.”



Still unable to announce the words that she had been entrusted with, Anya nodded.



“Tell me she’s alive.” Willow’s voice rose, dangerously nearing hysteria. “Tell me she’s alive Anya, tell me that she’s alive!”



“She’s alive.” Finally, Anya got the words out and hated herself for failing Tara. ‘I should have been more understanding’, she berated herself, and once more hated herself for thinking ridiculous irrational thoughts when Willow was sitting, blank-faced, on the couch. “Willow?”



“Send her back.”



Now that was a development she hadn’t been expecting. “What?” Anya whispered.



“I said send her back!” Willow screamed at her. Grabbing her teacup from it’s place on the coffee table, she flung it at the wall. Giles leapt forward, more to protect his teacups than Willow, Anya thought wryly, and caught Willow in his arms, pinning her arms behind her back.



“Now that’s enough,” he said firmly. “It’s a terrible shock, Willow, and I understand, but you won’t get any answers by reacting like this. Sit down, and let Anya tell us what happened.”



“I don’t want her to hate me,” Willow sobbed, turning around so that she was crying into his shirt. “Don’t make her hate me, Giles, please. Send her back.”



Shocked, Giles and Anya stared at each other, before Giles collected his thoughts. “Willow, you did some terrible things,” he said gently. “I hope you will forgive yourself, and what happened won’t just go away. What you must know is that none of us will ever hate you. Tara, least of all. She loves you, Willow, and you did what you had to do at the time.”



“Not that,” she whispered. Staring at Anya, she asked blurrily, “Did she come back because of me?” Nodding, Anya smiled. “I don’t mean to,” Willow whispered. “I didn’t try to bring her back, Giles, I swear!”



“I know you didn’t,” he reassured her.



“I brought Buffy back,” the wiccan told them, her eyes huge in her face. “She hated me for it. I tore her out of heaven, and now Tara’s back because of me, and how can this be better than heaven? She’s here, in danger, hurting, because of me! I don’t want her to hate me, and I don’t want her to hurt,” Willow explained, choking on the tears that just wouldn’t stop coming.



Anya knelt down by the couch. “I’m just gonna tell you what Tara told me,” she said firmly. “She said that how could she be in heaven when you weren’t there with her?”



Green eyes darted from Anya to Giles. “She’s alive?” Giles nodded, shock showing on his face as he allowed himself to think about this latest development. He looked very old suddenly, Anya noted. “She’s alive and she’s in Sunnydale and she wants to see me?” Another nod. “She doesn’t hate me?” Willow checked.



“She could never hate you,” Giles told her. “She loves you.”



Suddenly, Willow leapt to her feet and tore across the room to the telephone. Giles didn’t think he’d even seen Buffy move that fast. “Well, what are we waiting for?” Willow demanded. “Giles, we’ve got a plane to catch!”

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: Miss1234Kitty at: 9/4/02 1:29:05 pm

[darkmagicwillow]

I'm loving Tara's return and Willow's conflicting reactions. And Cornish pasties, yum!

--
"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[willntlover]

I must say ANya handled the matter just fine. At least she didn't blurt it out. ANd i like how you went back into her history. I like it alot, in the buffyverse it always that Anya knowes about demons, etc.



i am so loving this. spectacular update

-Will

"Hear that baby? You're my always."

"well, you know, when you play a lesbian witch you've gotta get killed in this fun kind of exciting way, so the heart was the way to go..."

"we have the most amazing fans though they LOVE us."

[xita]

OH I got scared for a sec, I thought Willow was going to just .. not want to see Tara.. sigh ! Thanks for the update!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

[mollyig]

That was an interesting insight into Anya's psyche. Poor Willow, oh my heart went out to her when she was pleading that she didn't want Tara to hate her.



Great update.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Imperfectly Me]

Goddess, for poor Willow to be so afraid of Tara hating her that she wishes her to go back...her torment is soul deep.



Please update soon? I'm eager to see them back together again.



Aim