The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

General Chat  || Kitten  || WaV  || Pens  || Mi2  || GMP  || TiE  || FAQ  || Feed - The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe

All times are UTC - 8 hours



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 4:15 pm 
Offline
5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:19 pm
Posts: 315
Location: The Netherlands
Spur of the moment saccarine stuff. Still working on the new Reaper, which should be ready tomorrow.

Title - Uncle Spike tells a story.

Author name - Useful_Oxymoron

Email Address - Viernadevir@hotmail.com

Rating - PG, I think.

Disclaimer - I don't own Willow, Tara or Spike. And if I did, I'd set them free. But I'd probably set Spike at our neighbors first.

Feedback- Is cool. It's always nice to know somebody liked the crap I write.

Summary- When Willow and Tara go out to dinner, Spike babysits their daughter and tells them a story about her mommies. Alternate take on Seeing Red with a much happier ending.

Notes- Influences for this story : the fuzzy feeling I got from reading WillowsGirlXX's Seeing Red. (How I think I should have gone). Go read that story if you haven't yet and are in the mood for a happy ending. http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=4093

[hr]
Uncle Spike tells a story...

"Are you sure about this, baby?" Willow frowned when she checked her watch. They still had some time before the restaurant would open. "We could also go sometime else."

"We had to make our reservation three months in advance, sweetie," Tara offered one of those cute half-smiles she was so adept at giving. "Buffy's out on patrol, Xander and Anya are at the movies, Giles is out of town, Faith's on a field-trip with the potentials, Dawn has an evening class and Andrew's still at the Star Trek convention, stalking Avery Brooks. There's nobody else on such short notice. Besides, Lizzie loves him."

"But last time, he taught Tweety how to swear. Don't you realize how disturbing it is to hear Tweety say 'bollocks' and 'wanker' over and over again?" Willow bit her lip. "Besides, it's really hard to deprogram a parrot."

The sounds of footsteps running down the stairs could be heard in the background. Their daughter ran towards her mommies, only to be scooped up eagerly. Lizzie Maclay-Rosenberg was a bright six year old girl who was, for all intents and purposes, a miniature version of her mommy Tara, but had her mommy Willow's red hair and green eyes. "Is he here yet? Is he here yet?" Lizzie asked while wriggling in her mommy Tara's grip. Willow and Tara were determined to be better parents than their own parents were, and were showering Lizzie with all the love and attention they could give her. But sometimes they did need to go out to enjoy each other's company.

As if on cue, the doorbell ran. Willow opened the door to find Spike stand in front of it, still puffing away on his cigarette.

"Put that out!" Willow demanded. "You're setting a very bad example for Lizzie!"

"It's out already, bloody hell," Spike snorted. "Red, I'm an evil, blood-sucking hellfiend. How's that not setting a very bad example?"

"Being a smoking, evil, blood-sucking hellfiend is infinitely worse, Spike," Willow scolded while Spike entered the house. Even since the scooby gang moved to Cleveland after the destruction of Sunnydale, they had bought houses in the same street to make Slayage easier. Willow and Tara's house was just across the street from Casa de Summers II, and Xander and Anya lived next door. All-in-all, it provided Lizzie with a big and happy family of qualified monster-killers.

"'Ello there, Lizard," Spike greeted Lizzie, who escaped from her mommy Tara's grip and ran over to hug Spike's leg.

"Alright then, that's enough of that," said an embarrassed Spike.

Tara smiled. "Thanks for coming over on such short notice, Spike."

"No problem," Spike said. "Not exactly welcome at home right now. I got the doghouse for the rest of the bloody week, I think."

"You and auntie Buffy been fighting again?" Lizzie asked, looking up at her uncle Spike with big adoring green eyes. "But you always make up, right? Does uncle Giles make you shake hands and make up, just like teacher does?"

"Well," Spike grinned. "Buffy and don't exactly shake hands when we're not fighting anymore, but there is some shaking going on when we..."

"SPIKE!" Willow punched Spike against the shoulder while Tara looked on with a smile.

"Sweetie, let's get going," Tara said. "Lizzie, your mommies will be back soon, okay." Both Willow and Tara kissed their daughter goodbye and before Willow could say more to Spike, Tara pulled her wife out the door.

Spike and Lizzie made their way to the living room, where Spike found a list of Do's and Don't which Willow had left for him on the couch. Spike took a glance at it and shook his head. As usual, it was written in a system of different colored pens, with colors corresponding to level of importance. Actually, it was not so much of a list but more of a 12-page booklet written by the uber-responsible parent who was Willow. The vampire shook his head and tossed the list into the nearest wastebasket. Spike had made it his mission in unlife to introduce a measure of chaos in the orderly life Willow wanted Lizzie to live, otherwise poor Lizzie might end up being one messed up kid later in life, Spike surmised.

Spike was also sure that Tara really didn't mind his efforts to this effect all that much, even though she could never say that in front of Willow and Lizzie. The only time Tara had been genuinely mad with Spike was when he had let her drink a mocha and Lizzie had been bouncing on and off the walls all night.

"Alright, what's this then?" Spike asked when he picked up the DVD that Willow had laid out for them to watch. Bright colors, cheery animated animals... 'My Little Pony : The Princess Promenade'

"Sod this, Red," Spike grimaced. "I'd rather stake myself than watch this."

"Yeah, it sucks," Lizzie pouted, looking much like her mommy Willow. "But mommy Willow says it's family fun."

"And what have I told you about family fun, Lizard?"

"It kills the soul, uncle Spike?"

"You're not wrong there," Spike replied. "Luckily," he said, fishing a DVD from his pocket, "I smuggled this in."

Though Spike thought Lizzie was more than ready for 'Nightmare of Elm Street', 'Hellraiser' and 'John Carpenter's The Thing', he was certain her mommies wouldn't appreciate that all too much, so he had compromised and chosen the less scary but still exciting classic 'The Mummy' for watching tonight.

"You're cool, uncle Spike!" Lizzie bounced on the couch while Spike loaded the DVD into the machine.

"Yeah, I know," Spike winked.

---

Two hours and 10 minutes later, Lizzie was neatly tucked in while her uncle Spike sat at the bedside with Lizzie's pet parrot Tweety sitting on his shoulder and Miss Kitty Fantastico neatly curled up at her footend.

"... so then Prince Spike rescued Princess Buffy from that flaming poofter Prince Angel and defeated the evil knights Riley and Parker with his sword and fangs. And so Prince Spike became king of the land with Princess Buffy as his queen. And all the people loved him, because he done killed everybody who dared to oppose his rule and all dissidents were tracked down and killed by Prince Spike's secret police. And they all lived happily ever after."

"Great story, uncle Spike," yawned a sleepy Lizzie. "Can I have another one? One that really happened? About my mommies? And one you haven't told me yet?"

Spike frowned. "Tall order, Lizard," said Spike. "Let's see. I told you about the mummy girl. Uhm, what about the Biker demons? No, told that one... Ah, I got it. How about I tell you about the time your mommy Tara almost died?"

"Mommy Tara almost died?" Lizzie gasped, suddenly being wide awake. "Was she fighting a bad monster?"

Spike nodded. "In a way. This all happened when we all still lived in Sunnydale, before you were born. It all started when your aunt Buffy fought this wanker named Warren. He had a very tiny, uhm, trombone and..."

"Did auntie Buffy kick his heinie?" Lizzie asked.

"Oh, yes, that's why he was very mad and got a gun to get even with her. You see, he was so much of a bloody wanker that he wanted to use a cowardly weapon that any idiot could use. Meanwhile, your mommies, who had just come out of a bit of a spat, had made up and spent all night, um, playing monopoly," Spike said.

"Is monopoly fun?" Lizzie asked.

"When you're older, pet," Spike snorted. "As it happened, your auntie Buffy and I were playing monopoly all night as well. But somehow, uh, well, auntie Buffy's clothes got all torn and she asked me to get her some new clothes, but those were all in the room your mommies were in. So, I went to your mommies' room and knocked and they let me in. Your mommy Tara closed the curtains for me, and then brought some slacks and a shirt to your auntie Buffy. I traded some insults with your mommy Willow and..."

"Mommy Willow says saying mean things is bad."

"But it's fun!" Spike smirked. "Anyway, while we were still talking, suddenly this bloody bullet comes flying in through the window and hits your poor uncle Spike right in the heart!"

"WHOA!"

"Yeah, tell me about it. Hurt like bloody buggery, that's for sure. Made one hell of a mess of your mommy Willow's shirt too."

"What's a buggery?"

"When you're older, Lizard," Spike bit his lip.

"Did you survive, uncle Spike?"

Spike frowned. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that," he said. "You know what's really scary? I was standing in the right exact spot your mommy Tara had been standing just few minutes ago. If she had still been standing there, she would have died and you would never had been born. And who knows what kind of crazy bollocks would have happened then, ey?"

Lizzie was transfixed on her uncle Spike. "Did Warren want to kill my mommy Tara?"

"The little useless trouserstain wanted to kill your auntie Buffy, and he almost did. He shot your auntie Buffy and your uncle Xander," Spike continued. "Your mommy Willow used her magic to heal auntie Buffy while your mommy Tara took care of uncle Xander."

"What happened to that nasty Warren?"

"He practically ran into a policecar. He was lucky that I was shot and couldn't bloody get to him because of the sun or I would have tore his limbs out, that's for sure. Railroad spikes never get old, Lizard, I can tell you that. Wanker's in prison now for the rest of his life. I imagine he's often playing monopoly, actually... roughly from behind by his cellmate."

Lizzie pouted, again showing uncanny resemblance with one of her mothers. "He's a bad man. He doesn't deserve to play fun monopoly."

Spike laughed for a moment. "Monopoly isn't fun when a hairy fat bloke called Bulldozer forces you to play in the showers."

"What happened then, uncle Spike?" Lizzie asked.

Spike sat back, taking a moment to prevent Tweety from nibbling on his ear. "Well, your mommy Willow realized how much she loved your mommy Tara and got her little magic problem under control. Your mommies got married a few months later and then used magic to get you, Lizard. We also had a bit of a spat with this big bad called the First which ended up with us meeting all the potentials and destroying Sunnydale. And then we moved to Cleveland and went on fighting many evil wicked monster type things with your auntie Buffy."

Lizzie yawned again. "Why is auntie Buffy mad with you, uncle Spike?"

"Oh, this and that. Happens when a Slayer and a Vampire are involved. She never stays mad long, Lizard, don't worry. I'll be out of the doghouse at the end of the week, I think."

Lizzie closed her eyes. "I'm sleepy."

"I'll save the next story for another time, Lizard. How your mommy Tara turned one of the potentials into a toad. That nasty trollop tried to break up your mommies because she wanted your mommy Willow. Ever seen a toad with a tongue-stud, Lizard?"

"I luv you, uncle Spike," Lizzie said before drifting off into sleep.

"Yeah, well, uh... don't spread that around, Lizard. Got a bad reputation to keep up, you know? Big Bad Spike?"

---

Willow and Tara returned from a lovely dinner to find Spike sitting in the living room watching an old Richard Pryor one-man show. For a moment, Willow was wondering if the decibel level of the swearing Richard Pryor was high enough to legally scold Spike for, but reluctantly had to admit Spike had been careful enough.

"You'll find Lizard asleep in her bed, Tweety only knows boring words, the cat is sleeping off a milk-rush, the Pony's in the DVD-player, the house hasn't burned down and there's been no sign of any demons whatsoever," Spike smirked to the two witches.

"Thanks," Willow said suspiciously.

"We had a wonderful dinner," Tara said. "The candlelight was so romantic."

"Well, my cue to bugger off, then," Spike said and got up. "Methinks you be wanting to play monopoly for the rest of the night. Back to the doghouse for me." With a single wave, Spike was out the door.

"Monopoly?" Willow frowned. "Spike gets stranger by the day."

Willow found Tara looking at her, giving her that wonderful little half-smile of hers she had come to love so much in the nine years they had been together. "Penny for your thoughts?" Willow asked.

"I'm just thinking," Tara said.

"About what?"

"About how much I love you," Tara replied.

"That's a funny coincidence," Willow crossed the gap between them and flowed into her wife's arms. "I was just thinking the same thing."

After a passionate, soul-searching kiss, the two mothers headed upstairs to first sneak a peek at their sleeping child before heading to their own bedroom.
[hr]

:wtkiss

_________________
Max : Do you mind if I drive?
Sam : Not if you mind me clawing at the dashboard and shrieking like a cheerleader.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 6:34 pm 
Offline
8. Vixen
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 12:15 pm
Posts: 887
Location: Barcelona, Spain
DIBS!! :pinky

That was really sweet...in a strange Spike-kind of way. Spike/Buffy was a bit of a surprise but it makes sense in the long run.
Thanks for sharing this.

Karinna

_________________
Old Fire
Palme d'Or


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 6:42 pm 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 10:14 pm
Posts: 402
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote:
"... How your mommy Tara turned one of the potentials into a toad. That nasty trollop tried to break up your mommies because she wanted your mommy Willow. Ever seen a toad with a tongue-stud, Lizard?"


Aww, that is the best, best, best line Spike has ever said.

<3 your stories. :D

P.S: Ooo, just remembered I'll be dissecting frogs next week. :D :D :D!! Will check for one if there's a tongue stud. ;]

P.P.S: realized it's a toad, not frog. :/

_________________
Willow: [pouty] Everyone's getting spanked but me.

"The I in Team"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:36 pm 
Offline
3. Flaming O
User avatar

Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2005 8:58 pm
Posts: 66
That was great! Short and sweet. Your characterization of Spike is spot on. And heaven help Lizzy.

Yeah, I've been monitoring the Spike-Movie situation, and it's sad. I don't think we'll ever see it, or see the Ripper spin-off. It's odd when series like Buffy and Angel are immensely popular, yet the powers that be won't make more.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2006 10:59 pm 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:00 pm
Posts: 1216
Location: Bundaberg, Australia
G'day, UO.

Stalking Avery Brooks? :lol Sounds like Andrew to me!

The idea of Spike being a corrupting influence on W&T's parrot is hilarious. Maybe it's me, but I'd love a swearing parrot! :grin Though it probably wouldn't be too noticeable around me.

Quote:
"Red, I'm an evil, blood-sucking hellfiend. How's that not setting a very bad example?"


Good to see you've got Spike at his best down pat as well. Maybe someone should point out to Spike that one day some ash from his cigarette might land on a more flammable portion of his anatomy one day. :devil That might be more effective. I liked Spike's nickname for Lizzie too.

Quote:
"And what have I told you about family fun, Lizard?"

"It kills the soul, uncle Spike?"


:rofl Damn straight, Spike! Says the bloke with quite a few family movies downstairs in the DVD collection. :p

You know, I get the impression that Spike uses the expression "When you're older" quite a lot. :grin

Great fun, mate.

Cheers,
Paul.

_________________
That’s right: In order to make this event LESS popular, the female activists take off their tops and jog in front of onlookers. - Scott Adams, regarding the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 4:14 am 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer

Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:08 pm
Posts: 1151
Topics: 1
Location: Easton PA
Even as a non-Spuffy-type, I enjoyed this!

_________________
Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
____________________________________________________________
Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 1:24 pm 
Offline
5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:19 pm
Posts: 315
Location: The Netherlands
Kaia - You got dibs! :D Glad you liked the story! Yeah, I'm afraid I'm a believer in Spuffy. Spike is the most interesting bloke she's ever dated, imho. :blush

Inlerf - Glad you liked the story. I don't think Tara would have changed JFK into a frog, since that would scare Willow. ;-) But a toad is the next best thing. :D

Roger Dodger - Thanks! And I think Lizzie's not all that bad off, I feel. :)

I'd sure love to see a Spike movie... but then again, seeing how ME messed up the last two seasons of both Buffy and Angel, perhaps it's for the best that it never sees the light of day.

Paul - Andrew's after the Star Trek blokes. :pride I'd love to have a parrot who swears! Be one hell of a cute pet. Unfortunately, Willow's not that eager to have her daughter's parrot spouting obscenities.

Spike's fun to write. It's odd how much of a soft-heart he can be at times. I agree that some family movies can be fun. 'Willow' and 'Shrek' are good examples, but most are just crap. :)

LOL! Yeah, Spike is less concerned with niceties than most people, which is a good thing. :) Glad you liked the story.

_________________
Max : Do you mind if I drive?
Sam : Not if you mind me clawing at the dashboard and shrieking like a cheerleader.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 3:27 pm 
Offline
8. Vixen
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 5:59 pm
Posts: 871
Location: Germany
[blockquote]"And what have I told you about family fun, Lizard?"
"It kills the soul, uncle Spike?" [/blockquote]
Hear hear! All this hair-bleaching made Spike a wise man lol.
And the bit about a certain potential.... *rofl*
Very cute story! :x

_________________
"I don't get your crazy system!"
"System? It's called the alphabet!"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 4:03 pm 
Offline
Ms. Moderator Fantastico
Ms. Moderator Fantastico
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:41 am
Posts: 9808
Location: Next to an Angel in Houston Texas
:pinky this is to sweet and I love what you did with the toad because tara would do that!!!!! another story about the mommys please :kitty


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2006 10:10 pm 
Offline
13. Big Knowledge Woman
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:42 pm
Posts: 1741
Location: Iowa City, Iowa
UO,
Now that's the kind of bedtime story I will be telling my nephews when they come to visit the middle of next month.
It has everything;drama, comedy, action, romance, some witty banter between the principal characters, inspired use of Spike's vocabulary, and the best part:
Quote:
"... How your mommy Tara turned one of the potentials into a toad. That nasty trollop tried to break up your mommies because she wanted your mommy Willow. Ever seen a toad with a tongue-stud, Lizard?"

I can foresee a time when nuseries and daycares will have a copy for use.
Andrew stalking Avery Brooks at the "Star Trek" convention; shouldn't that be watching Avery Brooks like a "Hawk", though?

_________________
I can deny chicks in chainmail nothing.
Amberhol-from the land of sky blue waters.
No Mere Music Hall, This my novel available directly from rosestindog@gmail.com.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2006 12:20 pm 
Offline
5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:19 pm
Posts: 315
Location: The Netherlands
WillowRulez - Thank you! And said potential, well, she deserves every nasty thing that happens to her, that's for sure. :kdevil

Dianneswillowtree - Hell, yeah she would do that. Remember the look on Tara's face when Willow made some off hand comments about the April-droid? Seriously cute. But no skank get near Willow while Tara has something to say about it.

Taralicious - I'm flattered! LOL! Everybody seems to love the JFK-toad. Well, I'm sure she makes a better toad than she makes a love-interest for Willow. She cuter as a toad too. :) You know your Avery Brooks... It took me a while to get the reference, but I remember now.

_________________
Max : Do you mind if I drive?
Sam : Not if you mind me clawing at the dashboard and shrieking like a cheerleader.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Short story : Uncle Spike tells a story...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 10:31 am 
Offline
9. Gay Now
User avatar

Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2011 7:45 pm
Posts: 980
Topics: 15
Location: Beyond the orbit of Mars and accelerating...
I'm not a Spuffy fan either, but i think "Bad" Uncle spike is hilarious in this story.
I also think that you made a brilliant job of his rehabilitated-but-still-a-bad-boy character.

The Toad story sounds awesome too!

_________________
“All I feel is sunlight. All I hear is music.” Willow
How i Met Your Mother - By Ariel


My Story: Coming Home


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 8 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron

W/T Love 24/7 since July 2000
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group