The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 12:20 am 
Stef
Sweet Willow and spicy Tara for you. Enjoy



Mix
Yep.They are building up a steam inside the sterile hospital walls.And don't worry, I myself would want to make sure you get your visuals correct.So ask away. And I am open to story suggestions.



Thank you
so
much for the encouragement.Here is a lil something before the new year hits.Is it a hopeless case to still hope Buffy will have a Season 8 and have Tara in it?Or maybe a W/T TV series perhaps?Just musing out loud.

.Thanks Mix




mollyig
I love silence too as well as words.

I wish you a great year and hope to see more poems from you.




Grimaldi
Thank you.

Have a sappy happy new year!


littlecrazy80
Here's an update with more smoochies. Enjoy!Have a great year!


darkmagicwillow

Tara's silence says so much here in a beautiful way.
Thank you.I am fond of silences myself.Sometimes words dilute emotions.And in case you didn't know, I have followed your written works. I was just…um…silent.

Have a good year!


Mary

this goes down as one of my favorite chapters ever on this board.
I am honored Mary.




..shadings of gold will never look the same to Willow again; And they're each "taming" each other, in the best sense of that word--learning about each other; taking the time to discover each other's hidden corners and secret rooms.
Beautiful… especially the part about secret rooms.

I am glad this chapter made you revisit "The Little Prince" since it has
always
been one of my all time favorite books and to have someone appreciate it as much as I do makes me happy.But most of all, I am glad you understood the meaning and magnitude behind these simple words.Thank you for that.

And hey…about the weasels, wouldn't you know but I have somehow developed a fascination for these mentioned animals.Weasels and Orangutans.Don't ask me why.

But if you do in fact have watched weasels closely, I wouldn't take it against you.

I am pleased you loved the pacing of this story.

Have a wonderful new year ahead of you my kindred writer.Continue igniting hearts with your words.(Hmmm.What is this I hear about you having written a new fic in this board?Sleek must find it!!!)Stay merry, Mary.

Sleek


Sonya
Sonya meet foxy Willow.Foxy Willow meet witty wicked Sonya. She is as silly as you sometimes and as obsessed with Tara.She may deny this, but just play along.




I did so enjoy this, but I know you know. Ya know?
Glad you let me know, you know?It is different when you phrase it in your own Sonya way.



Err, what do you mean by
joyful "union"
?Oh. The hot sex.




your descriptions, they certainly have me considering and reflecting on the elegance of hands once again.
Wow.The elegance of hands. Very nicely put Sonya.It pleases me to know you liked the pacing as well.

Thank you for your unfaltering wit and humor.I do so hope you had the best year and that this coming year will bring you more joy…the kind of joyful joy that brings witty wicked women into irreverent grins.







Have an amazing year ahead Sonya!

Sleek


~NICKOLE~
thanks nickole.More smoochies coming your way.




sheila wt
Glad to meet another person who loves "The Little Prince".I never tire of that book.

It reminds me to see through my heart in order to grasp the essential.

About you leaning towards the monitor for the kiss…

thank you!The anticipation for a long awaited kiss can make you fall, literally, sometimes.




Rose24
Heads up! Big time smoochies ahead. Have a great year!




BV

often times the thoughts and feelings leading up to the "touch" or the "kiss" can be even more emotional and expressive than the act itself.


How right you are BV.And I am immensely pleased you loved this chapter.As for the poetry, it is my pleasure to share it with you.

Sleek


snuggle79
Thank You.

have a fantastic year ahead snuggle!




AWillowAndTaraFan4Ever
1. Blessed Wannabe
Posts: 18
Ready?So here's what happens next.

.Thank you for reading this.



TO THE REST OF THE KITTENS,

A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL!


Much mush and gooey love,



Sleek


***
oh yeah.. the update.



***



Part 20


Revelations (a)





Shafts of gold fell through the hospital blinds, casting an ethereal glow on the two women kissing on the hospital bed.

Willow's hair flared with shades of auburn and scarlet at the touch of sunlight.Her flaming locks curtained her face and Tara's. Eyes shut blissfully.Blocking the rest of the world except the sensation of each other's lips.

Inebriated by each other's taste, their heads danced drowsily against each other.Sweet liquor flowed freely from one mouth to another. Both giving, receiving.Drinking, pouring.

"Mmmm.." Tara murmured her pleasure at the slow, sensual suction of Willow's mouth on her lower lip.

Willow's tongue slid and lapped Tara's bottom lip like a parched woman left astray on the Sahara desert.

"Tastes so..." Willow sighed.

"
Good
."Tara moaned deep in her throat as she buried her fingers firmly into Willow's silky red tendrils.

***


"How are you feeling?"

"Between jack hammer migraines and piercing cramps, marvelous."Joyce offered a small, wan smile to her eldest daughter.She squeezed Buffy's hand feebly, hoping to ease some of the niggling worry she saw in those hazel eyes.

"Really, Buffy.I'll be fine. I just need some rest."Joyce glanced at Buffy, Dawn, Xander, Giles and back to Buffy."Dawn needs to catch up with her schoolwork and you need to patrol.I can manage tonight."

"Actually Joyce, we can take care of the patrolling in the meantime."Giles stepped forward and lay a fatherly hand on Buffy's shoulder.Buffy smiled at him gratefully.

Concern crinkled Giles' eyes at the sight of Joyce's pale face."Buffy can stay here with you before your operation."

"Yeah mom.And I don't need to finish schoolwork…I mean uh...not until tomorrow…it's a weekend remember?"Dawn fidgeted nervously.She'd be too preoccupied to think about school anyway and she hoped her mom isn't serious in wanting to be alone tonight.


The night before the operation.
Dawn shivered inwardly.

Dawn needed to be there with her mom just as Buffy needed to be the responsible one.

"It's settled then."Buffy declared as she clasped her mom's hand and sat beside her on the bed. "Riley can make the sweeps with the gang at the cemetery tonight.Dawn can bring schoolwork here. And I will be your stubborn solid rock. "

Joyce could not help but smile fondly at her daughter's determined face.

"I've always wondered where you got your stubborn streak."Joyce said with faint pride.

Buffy inched towards her mom and carefully held her.

"Ask my stubborn mom who stubbornly insists to be left alone tonight."Buffy whispered to Joyce's neck.

Longing to express her anxiety for her mom's impending operation, Dawn rushed towards them and entangled herself in their arms.

Joyce ruffled both of her daughters' hair and breathed deeply, calming her own nerves as well as her daughters'.

Xander and Giles hung back and watched the three women in silence.

"Uhm.I hate to break up the Summer's moment but Giles and I are off to ship Tara now from the confines of the hospital room to the comfier confines of the dorms."Xander said quietly, his hands dug inside his jacket pockets.


***


Seconds melted into minutes. Minutes into hours.Hours into eternity.

How long they have been kissing, both women didn't know.And they didn't care.

Breaths ragged. Tiny beads of sweat trickled.Lips pleaded for more.

"Tara." Willow whispered hotly as she brushed her lips against the corners of Tara's lips, her chin, the slopes of her cheeks, then returned to the fullness of Tara's open lips.

"Willow."Tara gasped as her hands clung to Willow's neck and stroked Willow's back.She arched her body, aching to be filled by everything Willow.Willow breath.Willow lips.Willow skin.Willow hair. Willow hand.

The more they fed each other with kisses, the more ravenous they got.

Fluid fire seared their lips.It pulsed through their veins, melted every skin pore and pooled gradually between their legs.

Hot liquid wax.

"Tara."Willow breathed feverishly.Her hand rubbed incessantly against the silken skin on the inside of Tara's arm.She lifted her face a fraction and searched the depths of blue beneath her."Tara.I want to…"

"Yes."Tara shut her eyes at the onslaught of desire rampaging through her being.She took shallow breaths and met Willow's sizzling gaze.Her hand swept across the curves of Willow's sides and squeezed the plaint flesh on Willow's waist."Please. Willow."

Willow lifted her leg and hoisted herself on the hospital bed.

Careful not to hurt Tara's injured arm, Willow gently parted Tara's thighs and nestled herself between them.Slowly, bracing her arms on each side of Tara's face, she lay her weight on top of Tara's body until finally they were touching from forehead to toe.

The tips of their noses kissed playfully.

"Hi."Tara gave a shy grin.Still amazed at the enormity of want she saw burning through those emerald eyes.As if Willow wanted to consume her.
All
of her.

"Hey sexy."Willow grinned wickedly and boldly pressed herself against Tara's molten center.

"Ohh…Willow."Tara dug her fingers on Willow's back and encircled Willow's waist with her leg, anchoring Willow into place.

"Mmm. Someone is getting impatient."Willow whispered hoarsely as she gently bit Tara's soft earlobe and sucked it between her teeth.

Tara lifted her knee and pushed it against Willow's wet warmth.

"Tara!"Willow jerked involuntarily at the sudden pleasure of the simple contact.Her eyes narrowed naughtily."I
will
get you for that."

"Oh.I hope you will."Tara murmured huskily as she slowly licked Willow's parted lips with the tip of her tongue.


Oh yes. Vixeny Tara is back.
Willow leered happily before she devoured Tara's mouth like a madwoman.

Both women descended into a spiral of dizzying want and desire.They didn't notice the hospital door suddenly opened.

Dawn came bouncing into the room first.

"Tara! We came to pick you…" Dawn's words died on her lips.

"Are you guys ready to…"Xanders eyes shot out from their sockets. His lips formed a silent screaming 'Whow!'

Buffy and Giles stepped inside the room.

"Uhh."Dawn reflexively moved to block the two startled women from the Scoobies' view.But alas her body was too small to obstruct the sight of Willow breathing heavily on top of Tara.Their limbs and hair a tell-tale tangled mess.

Wild shock paralyzed the two women on the hospital bed.

For a moment nobody moved.Or breathed.

"Will?"Buffy gasped still not comprehending what she had just seen.

"You and Tara.Are…you
and
Tara?"Xander blubbered and gestured dumbly into the air.

"Perhaps we should give them a moment."Giles said calmly though the shock at seeing one of his surrogate daughters engaged in such a blatant act of passion shook him under the surface.

"It's not what you think. We're not…we were just…" Willow's sputtered as she hastily sat up and detached herself from Tara, accidentally hitting Tara's injured arm in the process.

"Ow!"Tara cried painfully.

But only Dawn noticed that Tara stung more with Willow's words than the physical pain.


***
TBC


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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 12:28 am 
OUCH!!! In more ways than one. How can Willow say something like that? :confused :cry

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.




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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 2:07 am 
Willow :smash

How can she do that to Tara??:rage



HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!



Stef :p

Edited by: deixs at: 12/31/02 12:34:16 am


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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 4:06 am 
Oh Willow freaked, not the best way for her friends to find out for such a closeted type. Of course if she stopped to think about it, no matter what she says now the cat is out of the bag. All she is doing is hurting Tara. Of course she doesn't see it that way at all. I am sure she thinks Tara would understand her need to lie, but doesn't see how it belittles Tara. Gosh I hope you update soonish :)

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Tallulah Bankhead



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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 6:01 am 
Yeah well, saw that coming when Xander said they went to pick-up Tara. Activities like that should really be done in a private room with a locked door :)



Of course Willow freaked/paniced, she has hardly figured out for herself she likes girls and Tara in particulair. Kinda hard to handle coming out to your friends when you haven't come out to yourself yet :) . Not the most controlled way to come out either and Willow definitly prefers controlled.



Having said that, she did hurt Tara when she said that. She'll likely realize that about 5 seconds later. Willow is sorta caught between the scoobies and Tara, being torn and not knowing what to do. She really should console Tara, kiss her arm a bit to make it better (neat excuse) or such :D .



Xander should be kicked out of the room, I could almost see him drool. Kick.him.out.already. They obviously need/want privacy and Xander's not invited, now get lost. Giles of course wanted to get out of the room even though it's a shock to him as well... good gentleman he is. Didn't get Buffy's reaction.



I say just to kick everybody out of the room and leave Willow and Tara to talk things over. All the questions/reactions the scoobies have can wait till the girls have talked and figured out what to do from here. (thats what I would do if I ever ran into such a situation anyway)



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine



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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 6:09 am 
oops, that didn't went very well, i guess.

Ok, Willow reacted not really correct :spin , but i blame it on the panic. But i'm curious to see, how she's going to safe the situation and explain this to Tara...

Awesome update! :D :clap

Have a great new year too!

snuggle79 :wave :grin

__________________

"I got so lost"

"I found you, i will always find you"





Edited by: snuggle79 at: 12/31/02 4:13:28 am


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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 10:43 am 


Hummm



I can see Willow being startled and freaking out and all at the outburst in the room....I mean..she's not out to them...so..there's the freaked out, worried Willow coming through..BUT...um..hospital room..she kinda left that open...



and...Poor Tara...we all know Willow didn't mean to hurt her..but those words yeah...would hurt worse than any physical pain...



cant' wait for an update...to set things straight..



~NICKOLE~









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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 10:49 am 
great update :)



poor Tara, i hope that she talks to Willow about what she said, Willow probably wasn't aware that the meaning of her words could be interpreted as she was ashamed of being caught with Tara.



the scene with Joyce and everyone was sweet

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!
I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?



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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 12:12 pm 
Thanks for the great update!



I really hope that Willow amends her statement. She can be startled, but my hope is that she was embarrassed to be caught "in the act" and as such would politely request for the Scoobies to step out of the room while they ready themselves for guests. If Willow denies the relationship, I would be angry for her hurting Tara and IMO, it would be foolish to try to avoid coming out.



And, I agree that it's certainly not the best way to come out to your friends... However, I think desire and overactive hormones are normal and healthy; nothing for her to be ashamed about. I also want them to kick out Xander.



Happy New Year Sleek!! As always look forward to more of your writing!



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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 3:25 pm 
So I read this line a few minutes ago, in one of my favorite fan-fics ever: "aching to be filled with all things Willow."



And...and I think I passed out just a bit because I seem to have the indentations of several computer keys pressed into my nose and forehead.



All that by way of saying, "How very wow-worthy, Sleek!" Yikes...



There's a great build-up of sexual tension b/w our girls (and yes, anybody who's in those first days/weeks/months of falling in love knows that any location will serve as the site of sexual satiety just fine, thank you) and then...and then...Oh, Willow...They're called "ovaries," dear--get some! And I know she will, it's just hard to read our beloved Tara, with all of her history of being put-aside and scorned, being wounded like that.



As ever, a fantastic job, Sleek!



Have a wonderful New Year's Eve and may the coming year hold wonderful things for you and all you love.



Mary



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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2002 10:25 pm 
Oh sleek!! You did it again...The build up of emotions, and sexual tension, awesome and Hot!



Poor Willow, I'm sure she was just taken by surprise and was trying to cover for Tara???



Excellent! :kiss

BV





"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin



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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Wed Jan 01, 2003 5:18 pm 
Great update!

I hope everything will be alright between Willow and Tara.



*lil´c*



Unter den Blinden ist der Einäugige König.



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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Wed Jan 01, 2003 8:18 pm 
Sleek, I love the way you built the sexual tension. I had to swallow hard a few times... and yes, the killer line for me was, "aching to be filled with all things Willow." That took my breath away... hence the gasping for several seconds after that.



I was cringing and waiting for the moment Xander and the gang would burst in the room. Throw them all out! Willow needs to make Tara all better... she can start out by calling her baby and kissing her arm a few times. It should be followed with 'aching to fill Tara with all things Willow'. hehe.



Thanks Sleek! Wonderful update and Happy New Year!







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 Post subject: Re: Part 20 Revelations (a)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 8:39 am 
Oh and you call me wicked?! Just a little itty bitty angsty cliffhanger huh?!



But my friend you are a writing genius. Not only are you continuing in your crusade to make me like Dawn (I do I do, well now I do) but now you've gone and made Xander get it!! Ok, the two of them were practically mauling each other so that even a complete moron could have worked out what was going on, oh wait, there's the flaw to my arguement.....



Absolute classic, I bet Giles had to wipe his glasses a fair few times after walking in on that scene. Not that there's anything wrong in being interupted mid er, session shall we say. Happens to the best of us. Some people have even got silly Dr. Seuss nicknames from such occurances. :whistle But thats another (NC-17, details available on request) story and not nearly as interesting as yours dear Sleek.



Bit I loved most? How Willow is so conscious of not hurting Tara's arm when she initially gets onto the bed, as her mind and heart is concentrating so wholly on Tara. Yet when the scoobies enter, she is so flustered that she wounds the poor girl both mentally and physically. Hope you intend to repair the damage to my, I mean our ok, Willow's fair maiden, and hey, if that may lead to making-up smoochies, I won't complain.... ;) :grin



Wishing you a toptastic year you writing guru you. I shall attempt to improve on my luck from last year, someone up there must seriously have a more warped sense of humour than I have. (Is that possible you think?)



Happy New Year Sleek, :love Sonya





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 Post subject: Continuation. Part 20 Revelation (b)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 3:42 pm 
Rose24
Sometimes we hurt the ones we love. Often unintentionally and in public.




Stef
Willow isn't exactly ready--yet.


xita

not the best way for her friends to find out for such a closeted type.
You could say that again.

Andnow that the cat
is
out of the bag, Willow has to figure out exactly what kind of cat she let out.Gay cat much?

And since I do so didn't want to disappoint you, here is the soonish update.Next one will be posted tomorrow.

(gotta love the bouncy emoticon…such an eager beaver that one is.)


Grimlock72

Activities like that should really be done in a private room with a locked door.
Sometimes the heat of the moment makes certain shy Wiccans forget certain things.




Kinda hard to handle coming out to your friends when you haven't come out to yourself yet. Not the most controlled way to come out either and Willow definitely prefers controlled.
Really true Grimmy.Really true.You understand Willow's character quite well.

About consoling Tara…well she would have to clarify things in her blabbering head first before she talks with her girl…well
would-be
girl…that is if everything turns out well.But I am glad this is my fic so I can prolong the agony or the joy…however long I wish. (yes I can be a sadist. Mwahahaha!)




Xander should be kicked out of the room, I could almost see him drool.
Oh yeah.The Xan-drool is definitely evident. The rest are just…flabbergasted.

Thanks for leaving your insights here Grimmy.Your feedback makes me rethink certain pertinent things about this fic.



Thanks!


snuggle79
Tara thoughts for you.Willow's revelation will come tomorrow.

Happy readin'!


~NICKOLE~
Hummm indeed.

Yes Willow didn't mean to hurt Tara, but like I said, sometimes we hurt those we love. As to whether Willow is
in
love with Tara at this point…well let's wait and see for the Willow revelation.Now we have Tara thoughts, pretty angsty bit.




Grimaldi
Thanks!

This is how much the words stung exactly.Hope you don't mind a little Tara Angst in this chapter.Good to know you found the scene with Joyce sweet. Thank you.




KJchicago
Aha! A de-lurker.

Thanks for the warm words.

Willow will amend her statement, but not in this update. The Scoobies did step out of the room but things are still up in the air. We're focusin the spotlight on Tara now.Exactly why it hurt so much.

Yes.This wasn't exactly the 'coming out scene of the year', will all the Scoobies walking in on them like that, just when things started to get, um, steamy.Glad you approve of desire and overactive hormones (Sleek chuckles

). And about the Xander problem, well he is out of the room as we speak.

You have a fantastic year ahead of you KJ.Thanks you for your encouragement and I do so hope you continue readin for I will definitely continue the writin.




Mary

I think I passed out just a bit because I seem to have the indentations of several computer keys pressed into my nose and forehead.



what a great way to show your appreciation Mary!Thank you for this.Really.If there is such a thing such as a foolish grin, I am wearing one now on my face. Thanks for that.

Ah, thanks also for stopping by and smelling the ro--I mean getting a whiff of the sexual tension.A key ingredient to any W/T fan fic don't you think?I'm still catchin up with your
Gods Served and Abandoned
, expect me on your thread soon.

As always, thank you for spurring me on Mary.




BV
Hey thanks girl.Hopefully the next time they build up any hot sexual tension they wouldn't be interrupted.Well anywhere with a
locked
door would suffice (Sleek snickers).Any ideas on ideal places for some frolicking for W/T?



And Willow got her foot in her mouth big time.Tara is in pain.This will illustrate. Thanks for always takin time to drop by BV.






littlecrazy80
Aha.You have a new pic!Thanks lil c.Everything will be alright between W/T as long as I'm writing them. It will just take time before things get cleared up. Out of curiosity…what does your sig translate to in English?




cinderlust
Something about your name.It sounds like something Hans Christian Anderson would come up with (tinder box/cinderella)…or maybe it's just me.Just sayin 'cool' name.



Oh…to have the Kitten readers gasp and purr…nothing would please me more (actually…I can come up with something but…nevermind)

Glad the hot tension worked well for you.Will be angling for thuds soon…but definitely not until Willow figures out what she needs to figure out.

Yes, the Scoobies are sprawlin outside the hospital door with the plenty o requests of throwin them out. Me thinks you guys are frustrated with the interrupted smoochies as much as W/T are.Can't blame ya.



Thanks cinderlust! Hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve with the cake and the fireworks and all things warm and cuddly.


Sonya
Was wonderin when you'd show up on my thread.Not that I'm expecting.Not that you're required to leave feedback.Not that--OK I'll cut the blab.I was lookin forward to read your feedback. (sheepish grin)



And don't tell me you're not the least itty bittiest pleased with your new title,
oh witty wicked woman
?



As for the cliffhanger…how else would I get my readers to continue readin my stuff?(Well NC 17 scenes would whet the appetite but that isn't the only reason Kittens read WT fic right?Sonya?)



Oh.So you're liking Dawn now aren't ya?

I think the best way to compliment a writer is to have a reader say that a formerly annoying character seems likable after all.Thank you for this.




the two of them were practically mauling each other so that even a complete moron could have worked out what was going on, oh wait, there's the flaw to my argument.....



! I can tell somebody is fond of Xander.Me thinks I can make another crusade of making you like Xander.But…maybe I won't go
that
far.



Pray do tell, what was your dreadfully delightful experience of bein interrupted mid-session?If details are available on request…well here's a written request now.

(Gotta admit, I am quite intrigued about the Dr. Seuss nickname.This doesn't have anything to do with Cats and Hats now wouldn't it?)Oh I'm sure you have an interesting story.Feel free to illuminate me.





Perceptive of you to notice how Willow was conscious of everything Tara feels and forgot about her when the Scoobies barged in.About the make up smoochies…well that won't come till later.

Writing guru? Heh. Keep talking like that and I may never stop writing WT fic. (operative word:'may'.I would like to take a break after this is finished to concentrate on reading other fics.Hopefully something from your creative genius.)

Don’t worry Sonya. I'm sure you have more luck this year.Keep your warpy sense of humor with you.It's probably one of the things that will help us get by.

As always, thank you Sonya.




***

dear Kittens,

Angst here there and everywhere.And no…I didn't just sang those words to a Beatles tune.



Thanks for readin!
Salamat!



Sleek

***





Part 20


Revelation (b)




Tara Revelation .001
"Laughter and the Fragrance of Apples"





Darkness is here.


The thought crept inside Tara's mind as she stared at the many dazzling Christmas lights littered around her room.

The little lights usually cheered her up.They reminded her of fairy dust and Peter Pan.And remembering Peter Pan reminded her of Mama.

On many sleepless nights, especially after rough scrimmages with her brother Donnie, Mama would softly pad into her room and tend to her wounds.Whether it was plastering band-aid or reading her tales of fairies and of valiant men and women--Mama would always know how to scoop her up from the gloom and lull her into the light.


Your light.It is such as sight to behold Sweetie.
Mama would coo in her ear once Tara's sobs have subsided.


No matter what other people say to you--even your own father or Donnie.Do not let that light die.You hear? You're my lil' Tinkerbell.


And Mama would shine every time she said this.She could literally see love and joy sparkle in Mama's midnight blue eyes and Tara would stop crying.

How could she cry when Mama held her like that and called her Tinkerbell?She may be called demon, klutz or stutterin-Tara, but she was Mama's Tinkerbell.And the thought would make Tara smile a pleased smile.

But not today.

Today Tara didn't have someone to hold her or call her endearing names.

And this was one of the few moments when Tara wished to be held by someone so badly…preferably by a redhead someone who had the most adorable pair of big green eyes, who loved books and was an incredibly brave monster fighter.


But she's not so brave about you now is she?


The usually cheery lights began to mock her.It blinded her with thoughts she tried to push away.


Was it just lust?Willow just broke up with her boyfriend and now she is looking for a…a filler.A toy to play with.She has never been with a woman before and maybe she just got carried away with the novelty of it.


Tara stared glumly back at the winking fairy lights as if she was directly looking into a pair of achingly familiar green eyes.


But she fed me.Lulled me to sleep with her crazy amusing stories.Copied my notes for me.She even helped me with my homework! She must definitely care.


Tara lifted her chin and shot a defiant glance towards the fairy lights.


A friend could do all of those things.
A traitorous voice said.Like a small smooth pebble dropped into a still pond, this tiny thought rippled and continued to crease Tara's usually calm countenance.


B-but the way she looked at me.How she sighed my name.Her mouth, hungry but always gentle.Could she really be just a friend, reeling with hormones?


Tara lifted her arms and hugged herself.

She closed her eyes and imagined another pair of delicate, fair arms encircling her waist.She took a deep breath and inhaled the fragrance of apples--the same scent of scarlet hair that caressed her face earlier.


We started out so well.She was reading to me those beautiful lines from "The Little Prince".


Once again, Tara replayed in her mind's eye the recent events that transpired inside the hospital room.

There was kissing. Soft Willow lips and hot Willow tongue inside and around her mouth. Searching.Seducing.Pleasuring.She felt Willow's fingers exploring the heat of her inner thighs when she heard Dawn's voice nearby…not outside the room kind of nearby…but just a few feet away nearby.And suddenly there was Xander, Buffy and Giles.Gaping at them.

Their eyes were blank for a full moment until Buffy spoke.Then she saw question marks blinking rapidly in everyone's heads.

Is Willow gay? Is Tara gay? Are we involved?

But Tara can only answer one question.Yes she is gay.And though Willow confessed to her about her altered craving, it may take awhile before she accepts this herself and admits it to her friends.

On some level, Tara understood Willow's outburst.

Willow was only beginning to discover what she wants and now she is cornered and pressured for an answer. Tara's own process of coming out didn't happen overnight so she is quite familiar with how agonizing honesty can be.


But still…
Tara frowned.A half-sob, half-sigh escaped her lips.

Yes, she understood.But that didn't stop her from hurting.

One moment she was wanted.
Desired
.The next she was denied.Brushed away.

If Dawn didn't step up and asked the rest to clear out of the room she wouldn't probably be able to move.Dawn and Willow silently helped her with her things.And from that point on she avoided eye contact, skin contact or any kind of contact with Willow.

It just hurt too much.To look into those eyes and see how ashamed Willow is of what they have.


What do we really have?
Tara probed her mind for a truthful answer.

Silence roared inside her head.

Tara really didn't know.She wished she did, but the only real thing she felt right now is Willow's absence.She ran away with her friends.Off to patrol somewhere.Somewhere away from Tara.

Hot tears surged from her throat and leaked through her eyes.

A dull ache gripped Tara's heart.It clawed her insides with sharp, angry incisions.Each vicious gash inflicted by a vision of Willow, running off somewhere with her friends, explaining to them how she 'accidentally' got frisky with the lonely Tara and decided that it wasn't anything of importance.


It's not what you think.
Willow's voice blared in her ears.

What
else
is there to think about?!What plausible conclusion can be drawn from two women passionately kissing on the hospital bed?

Tara buried her face on the ivory pillow and stained it with her tears.

She continued to cry quietly until her pillowcase soaked.

Her hand reflectively ran on the empty space beside her on the bed.The bed seemed big for just one person.


Sorrow is such a solitary place.You can never take anyone with you.


Tara sighed as she rolled from her bed and stood up.

Her feet found a path towards her window, and Tara opened it.

The cool night air slapped her damp cheeks, whipping her hair behind her head.Her eyes searched the heavens out of habit, seeking the solace of the woman who called her Tinkerbell.


You would've loved her Mama.The way she held me with her smile.How her eyes twinkle when she laughs.


Tara allowed herself to smile at the recent memory of Willow, telling her some silly nerdy thing she did at gradeschool. Willow's eyes leapt with every gesture as her candy pink lips curved into an appropriate impersonation of Xander's expression or of an old teacher.Tara's favorite Willow impersonation would be of Giles.Willow would go overboard with a clipped accent that could be described as anything but British.

Peals of laughter would ensue.Oh how she would give anything to hear Willow's tinkling laughter right now.


There's only one thing I am certain of Mama.I soar when I am with her.I never laughed the way I did.Until her.


The inky sky swirled across the vast landscape.The moon's ancient light beamed at Tara until it beckoned her to sleep.



***
(Sleek voiceover: To be continued.Willow's revelation will unfurl tomorrow.Stay tuned!)


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 Post subject: Re: Continuation. Part 20 Revelation (b)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 4:11 pm 
Tara's silence is back, but this time it's not so tender and comforting:


Silence roared inside her head.




But this line tore at my heart even more, coming as it did at the end of Tara's reflections, with Tara thinking that it might not be a feeling she'll ever have again:

I soar when I am with her.




p.s.: Just read your replies too. Thanks, I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying my story.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 1/2/03 2:17:51 pm


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 Post subject: Re: Continuation. Part 20 Revelation (b)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 4:33 pm 
*SNIFFLE*



Poor Tara...



*sighs*





*reads the footnote* *claps her hands excitedly* Is it tomorrow yet???





*GRINS*



great update!



~NICKOLE~



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 5:29 pm 
I´m so sorry for Tara! I hope everything will work out really soon.



*lil´c*



PS: the sig means "Among the blind a one-eyed man is king."



Unter den Blinden ist der Einäugige König.





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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 8:30 pm 
Hey Sleek. Consider my pale British hinde tanned for the tardiness of my last feedback. (hmmm...interesting thought).

Now where was I? Oh yes,



Darkness is here. The thought crept inside Tara's mind as she stared at the many dazzling Christmas lights littered around her room. If this wasn't such a poignant moment I would have wondered whether Tara was experiencing my New Years Eve celebration. (Oh now there's an even better thought....)



Hopefully Willow's revelation will allow Tara to defy those damned mocking fairy lights. I take it our red one will not have failed to notice Tara's inability to make contact with her as they helped her from the hospital. I look forward to Willow's analysis of the situation. Logic should rarely have a say in issues of the heart otherwise the world would be a very lonely place indeed. But I guess this is Willow and separating Willow and logic is like separating the sugary goodness from toffee fudge ice-cream, it ain't gonna happen and you wouldn't really want it to.



Touching update Sleek, really loved your writing of Tara

Sonya (your mention of a W/T fic hiatus hasn't gone unnoticed)



Ok so since you asked for it here's the abridged version of my mid-session interuption. Since there isn't an email address on your profile this is between you and me right? Good good. Well I may have gone to a fancy dressed costume party as SAMIAM, a character from Green Eggs and Ham with my girlfriend of the time in a similar Cat in the Hat costume. I may have suggested some alone time in the delightful open attic that was present at the party for some serious smoochies which may have gotten a little er, steamy due to the amount of alcohol, margharitas if I recall (no excuse, just reasoning) that had been previously consumed. Cue unsuspecting intruders who thankfully knew us both well enough not to be scarred for life, a nickname for moi evermore and anendless stream of er, pussy jokes. So there you go. I may even be blushing.



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 9:16 pm 
Phew. This is a brutal read. When Tara hurts. I hurt. It is really hard seeing Tara this upset. :cry

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.




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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2003 10:22 pm 
(Mary paused, feeling the sadness wash through every li'l part of her.)



Ah, Sleek, you ol' heart-breaker you...(and I say that with great affection)--you give us such a great inner dialogue, such a truly wrenching look into Tara's present agony and all the past hurts that she's survived. You do such a poignant back-and-forth between Tara's rational, more confident moments and the "traitorous voice" of her own fears. I thought that you really summed up the dilemma nicely when you have her asking, "Could she really be just a friend riddled up with hormones?" Anyone who's known she was lesbian and then fallen for someone who hasn't identified as such before then knows all too well those awful hours of questioning and fearing and hoping and crying. (Uh, not me, of course. Um, I'm talking about...a friend of mine who's been through it. Yeah, that's it--a friend!")



I'm being a selfish, grasping wench for saying this, but I really have to insist that you stop whatever else you're doing (working, studying, giving birth) and update this story. Truly. Nothing else is as important as easing the massive heartache that even now is rolling and cresting in so many Kittens' hearts.



Are you still reading this? Why? You should be working on the update. Get going! To quote Giles: Off you go!



(OK, I'm being facetious...kinda.) I wait with bated breath (not to be confused with "baited" breath, which is both different and very unappealing).



Rock on, Sleek.

Mary



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Fri Jan 03, 2003 1:18 am 
today has been unusually slow and quiet... no crescendo of emotions except the ones brought on by this update. now i ache at the pit of my stomach. tara's thoughts are such familiar grounds i've walked not so long ago. hopefully willow's thoughts will bring some sort of resolution.



fantastic writing sleek and thanks for the name compliment :)



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Fri Jan 03, 2003 9:13 am 
Quote:
Sorrow is such a solitary place. You can never take anyone with you.




:cry :cry :(

I feel so bad for Tara. She must feel so betrayed.

They really need to talk.

I can't wait for more!

Awesome update!

snuggle79 :wave

__________________

"I got so lost"

"I found you, i will always find you"







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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Fri Jan 03, 2003 9:38 am 
great update :)



you did a good job showing Tara's inner fears and what she was thinking after what happened in the hospital. the bit about Tara's mother saying Tara was her lil' Tinkerbell was sweet

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!
I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Fri Jan 03, 2003 12:41 pm 
Hello Kittens-



Wow and Ow both. Willow still frightened about what other people think and needing to belong to her surrogate family, the Scoobies. Tara needing and then finding someone who finally makes her feel alive only to have it denied by the one she's coming to love. Then Tara alone in the dark. As good as this has been you've outdone yourself Sleek.



And hey, it's tomorrow! Not that I'm eager or anything:)





Thank you for this,



Jixer



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2003 1:58 am 
These last to updates have been great. The start of their relationship may have changed around, but it's all still there.

Poor Tara! So unsure about what's going to happen and so sad. Worried about how Willow's sweetness seemed to melt under the harsh light of her friends and their conception of who she is.



And although I'm super eager for an update, I don't fear that Willow won't come through for Tara and tell her friends the truth. (It just might take a while.)



Most excellent stuff.

hermitstull

____________________

"Oh, no, don't feel bad. I, uh, I don't talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them, but they don't talk to me. Except to say that your questions are irksome, and perhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river." Anya in Selfless



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2003 3:02 am 
Wow, just caught up with this one, and I have to say that it's wonderful! At first, I thought, "I love the canon timeline of the relationship-- can I get used to a revised version (with possibly more angst)?" The answer, of course, is "YES"! Especially when the perspective is captured so well... keep up the great work, and I can't wait to see what happens! -Nora

"Every revolutionary ends by becoming either an oppressor or a heretic."

-Albert Camus



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 Post subject: Re: NEW FIC: "Finding You"
PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2003 6:05 am 
AAaaaww.... so sad to read Tara being all sad :( :cry



Good thing Dawn cleared the room, I like her for that act alone (which is rather unique). Now if Willow and Tara would just talk to each other in some private settings, all of Tara's self-loathing/talking-down can likely be dealt with easily.



Poor Tara still thinks (sometimes anyway) she's not worthy :( Someone should convince her otherwise, a certain redhead comes to mind. A redhead who most likely feels awfull as well by now, though she probably analyzes this situation differently. Result should be the same; need to talk...



Amazing how much talking can solve, they should try it sometime :D



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine



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 Post subject: Finding You
PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2003 1:07 pm 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Get more on soon I love this fic, and if you don't put an update on soon i'll die!!!!!!! Keep on with the great work, Sleek



"Will:I need you ,baby I need you. I don't need magic. I I will go a month without doing any magic

Tara: Go a week, one week without magic

Will:fine that's easy

Tara:One week and we'll see" - Willow and Tara (Tabula Rasa)

:tara :love :willow



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 Post subject: Willow Revelation The XanderOzQuestion
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2003 3:01 am 
dear Kittens,

I hate prolonging your agony any longer so here’s the update.I have experienced the longest 'tomorrow' so pardon the delay.I'm in a queer mood.Well not that kind of 'queer' queer.More of the eerie, 'oh-what-is-happening-in-my-life' kind.

Thank you for your lovely, uplifting and soul inspiring feedback.Since I have to rush, I''ll be posting my individual replies later in the week.

You guys just make writing more rewarding.In your own little Kittenish ways, all of you made a difference to me.


All my appreciation,
Sleek

***




Part 20
Revelations (c)




Willow Revelation .002
"The XanderOzQuestion"




"Willow--lookout!"

Xander rushed forward to push Willow away from the path of a tall, gangly vampire.The vampire wore a neon orange shirt that clashed horribly with his chalky white skin.


Easy to spot by anyone who was remotely paying attention tonight.
Xander thought as he pulled himself up.

Willow stumbled to the ground and scampered behind a tombstone nearby.

"Shtupid."Slurred the vampire as he staggered to Xander's direction.

The vampire hissed, baring his fangs.Xander visibly flinched from the bloodsucker's stale, decayed breath.

"Err.Have you ever heard of this lil invention called the toothbrush?"Xander said nervously as his right hand inched towards his jacket pocket where a wooden stake bulged.

The vampire snarled.Spit spewed forth Xander's face.

Disgusted, Xander wiped his face with a sleeve.

"Guess not." Breathed Xander as he sprang towards the vampire, stake in hand.

Crouching low, Willow clutched her stake. In bated breath, she waited for an opening to pounce.

Willow watched Xander attack Bad Breath Vamp.Or, to put it more accurately, she watched Bad Breath Vamp attack Xander.

Several grunts indicated that Giles and Riley were engaged in combat somewhere in another darkened part of the graveyard.Anya was…well…Anya was with Willow and Xander a minute ago, it's just that Willow was too preoccupied to pay particular attention to everyone's whereabouts.

"Why aren't you helping Xander?Go help Xander."Anya's voice plopped beside her.

Willow spun and glared at Anya. To say Willow was in a foul mood was an understatement.

"Well I don't see
you
runnin' to save
your
boyfriend."Willow snapped.

"Maybe because he was too busy saving
you
while Giles asked for my assistance with the simple task of standing up."Anya said crossly.

"Oh yeah.I understand.Coz helping other people is such a
chore
for you Anya."

Anya was visibly riled by this.She opened her mouth as if to say something ill when Willow cut her mid-thought,"Besides.Xander's doing fine. He doesn't need our help."

As if on cue, Xander groaned loudly in pain.He lay on the ground in a semi-fetal position. His shin held close to his chest.Bad Breath Vamp loomed before him triumphantly.He angled his pale face towards Xander's neck.

"Hey!"Came Anya's battle cry.

Bad Breath Vamp turned to have his bumpy forehead collide with a sharp rock.

"Ow!That hurt." He yelped.

"Yes.That is the purpose of hitting you with the rock.Now please do not suck my boyfriend."Anya said almost casually.She was an ex-vengeance demon after all.And she had personally met, wined and dined with numerous evil creatures in her 1,000 years of demon living.

"Why you…"Bad Breath Vamp fixed his sick yellow eyes on Anya.His filthy hands stretched out as if to throttle her.

Anya held a short steel pole in both hands and whacked Bad Breath Vamp like a mad batter.

"Ouch! Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it!"

"Willow.The-'

"Got it."

Before Anya or Xander could absorb what Willow
got
, Bad Breath Vamp exploded into dust.

"Hey Will. Nice stakin."Xander winced as Anya helped him to his feet.

"Yeah. Well. A Scoobies gotta do what a Scoobies gotta do."Willow said, indifferently.Her usual brand of perkiness was as dead as the dusted vamp.

"Uh. Will…" Xander said, uncertainly.

"You guys regroup with Riley. I got some things to uh…to do.By myself."Without giving Xander and Anya a second glance, Willow pocketed her stake and turned away.

Xander stared at Willow's retreating back.His lips pulled taut with worry.

He glanced at his girlfriend.

"Ahn.I need to uh-" Xander shrugged vaguely towards Willow's direction."Maybe you can ask Giles to give you a ride home?"

"Fine."Anya said displeased."If you need to play the role of the best friend go ahead.Even if she is ungrateful of your help."

***



Willow shivered inside her thick fur coat.

Her steps quickened as she neared the UCS dorm buildings.Her eyes became intent as a plan solidified in her head.

As soon as she arrives in her room she'll fix herself some instant Swiss Miss Cocoa and grab her laptop to help her de-synthesize her thoughts.

All she needed right now is a warm, quiet place where she can shut down and reboot.


Preferably away from prying friends.
Willow scowled as she saw Xander near the entrance of Stevenson Hall.

Willow strode past him.

"Will."Xander called over her shoulder.

"Not now Xander."She muttered.

"Will, if this is about what happened in the hospital…"

Willow froze in her tracks and turned to face her oldest friend.

Xander's loopy dark hair was pasted above a very furrowed forehead.He stood there stubbornly, hands shoved inside his jacket pockets.

Willow knew this Xander-stance all too well.It meant that it was going to take awhile before she can get rid of him.

"Xander.I'm not exactly explanation girl right now.So if you please, stop asking whatever it is you wanted to ask."Willow's tone was milder this time.Though the way her chin jutted out, Xander knew she meant business.

Unfazed, Xander took several more steps until he was in front of Willow.

"Will, I just want you to know that it's okay.I mean…sure it is a shock…I mean seeing your bestfriend kissing another girl doesn't happen as often as apocalypses and demons.But if you decide to go lesbian it's--"

"
Why
are you obsessing about this?!Got your first fill of live porn?!Oh, I forgot.You live with Anya." There was no turning back now.If Xander wanted to talk to an ill-tempered Willow he wouldn't be disappointed.

Embarrassed by her raised voice, Xander carefully scanned the hall for eavesdroppers.Thankfully tonight's witnesses were limited to the empty student lounge chairs and a cleaning guy mopping in a corner.

"Let's leave Anya out of this conversation, okay?I love that woman.Even if I know our relationship wouldn't exactly earn the 'Normal Couple of The Year Award,' I know how I feel about her.And I don't give the slightest care about what other people think."

Willow pursed her lips, crossed her arms, but gave a slight nod for Xander to go on.


Maybe if I pretend to listen to his speech he'll leave.
Willow rationalized to herself.

Xander nodded to the direction of the lounge chairs and they both sat, facing each other.

"Willow, it doesn't matter what other people think.If you know what you feel for Tara-"

"
How
can I know when you guys wouldn't even give me
time
to think?" Willow said indignantly.

"Okay."Xander raised his hands and sighed in defeat."Backing off now. But honestly Will, if you need time to thoroughly think, maybe you're not so sure about…getting into whatever it is you're getting into.When you feel strongly for someone, you don't hesitate to-"

"Who say's I don't feel strongly for Tara!!"Willow bellowed.She surprised even herself at her sudden intensity.

Xander gripped the edges of his seat and shut his mouth.

He held his breath, careful that his breathing might set Willow off.

"You guys dragged me into patrol tonight and all I wanted was to run after her!Ask her if she's mad.Hold her if I hurt her.Oh yes.I want to
kiss
her Xander.I want to make sweet slow and fast love to her. Again and again!"

Xander remained speechless.

Taking this opportunity, Willow found her voice to finally shape her thoughts."I love how she makes me feel good.How, even at my geekiest, blabbering moment…she makes me feel…
happy
…happy just being me. I love how she stills me with a look.And makes me shake with a simple smile.How she calms me.How she calms Dawn and everyone else around her.She's just so…
wonderful
and she has no idea…she has no idea how
beautiful
she is…"

Willow stared at the opposite wall.She was filled with the vision of enchanted golden wheat, the scent of jasmine and the taste of soft, full lips.

"She doesn't know Xander."Willow said so softly that Xander barely heard her.

"Then tell her Will."

Willow looked at Xander.Her harsh glare finally gone.

"I was going to, but you insisted to talk.It's too late in the night now anyway. She's probably asleep. I'll give her a call, or write her a letter or something."

Xander nodded, and stood up.

"Will? About um…"Xander glanced at his shoes before looking back at Willow."We…we had in the past… And there's Oz, right?Does this mean that-"

"Xander,"Somehow Willow knew this was going to come up."That was a long time ago. I was in love with you.But I realized you were the only loyal friend I ever had.And you…chose Cordelia.It hurt.At that time.But I'm not in that space anymore.I'm not even in the
Oh-Oz-Slept-With-Another-Woman-And-Left-Me
space anymore.I'm over that.Now I finally have someone who could be mine.Totally.And I could be hers…totally. If I'm not too late."

Xander sighed.The usual perky Willow he knew and loved well was too somber for words.He finally began to grasp how much was at stake for his best friend.

"Then I guess I have one more word for you Willow."

"What's that?" Willow looked up and curiously peered at Xander.

"
Run.
"


***
TBC


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