Kajun - as a reader I get that, of course. But as a writer it always amazes me that people can be worried! For those of delicate sensibilities, I don't think I actually get to what happened to Fungusgirl. After all it'd have to be within willow or Tara's sight...

As for Oz, I've hinted enough that he will be back in New Moon Rising, to preserve some of the canon structure so... No.

Annie might well get it, but it cuts a little close to the bone for Tara given what she believes she will be. This is her normal, in Annie.

Love what you said at the end, that is what the title of the fic is all about

Thanks s much

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Fifteen
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: Willow is crushed as Oz has left and Tara is with Diana… hunting something else.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: A shorter chapter, partly because – significant as it is to Willow – you all don’t want to read pages and pages of whining about Oz. Not when you know Tara is just around the corner… Usually the reason things are shorter is just because what follows has to – you know – follow. Not just slip into a disconnected part… So look at this way, I’m saving better for later.
Thanks to: People who say they like this better than canon. Well, okay, one person. I don’t delude myself it holds up to everyone, but this is supposed to be an alternative 




“He’s gone, Buffy.”

“I know, honey. I know.”

Buffy must’ve put a blanket over her and left at some point, because suddenly her friend wasn’t there. Maybe she’d fallen asleep for a little while… She was still curled up in a ball and the tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

The others - they’d talked around her and they’d talked over her and they’d analysed what had happened and they’d talked and it’d just gone and on and… still Oz hadn’t come to her.

She’d been making excuses for him starting out with reality and ending up in the ridiculous. He couldn’t have come right away, he’d been locked in a cage for everyone else’s protection. But come morning… he’d had that choice.

And it had been a choice because he knew.

He knew because the others had called and left messages for him, starting out vague ‘call me’ and ending up explicit and ‘where the hell are you?’. Later – or earlier as it turned out - they’d talked to him and told him what had happened. So he knew. But he hadn’t come to her… not right away.

And no one would tell her why.

Until eventually they’d had to.

He’d been out looking for Verruca. Last seen fleeing – wounded – across campus away from something that claimed to be the Goddess of the Hunt.

I nearly died and my boyfriend, my Oz was out there worrying about the bitch who’d nearly killed me?

And what did he want with the bitch? To screw her? Again?

She should’ve been mad about his reaction and one day she would be, but the shock, the fear and the disappointment were all too much for now. She’d started crying when she heard and she hadn’t stopped when he’d eventually turned up.

Yeah, he’d come… eventually.

Was Verruca alive? She hadn’t wanted to care at all.

Except she did. Actually she wanted to know that the werewolf that had tried to kill her, and taken Oz from her, had gotten her comeuppance. The more she thought about it the more she hoped that something had happened and Verruca was… no more.

Oz looked for her first…

The others had tried to rationalise it, of course. He was their friend as much as her boyfriend and they’d all shared a lot over the last few years. They’d said that knowing she was safe with them meant he was free to look for Verruca. To stop her. That was what he wanted, to stop her. That the lingering senses of the wolf would help him track her down.

They’d even suggested that – if Verruca was alive – then Oz might deal with her himself.

Willow knew better. She’d seen him, seen the way he looked at Verruca. She knew what had happened between them even though she’d never told the others. They’d… there was no other way to put it than Oz and his bitch had ‘mated’. It was something that disgusted her to contemplate. Disgusted her in just about every way you could think of.

There was some bond between Oz and Verruca, a shared experience, that she couldn’t be a part of unless she’d allowed herself to be bitten last night – or by him. But she was unwounded, thankfully, so there was still that divide between them.

More than once it had crossed her mind that maybe if she’d got a bite…

Oz would’ve wanted her then, if she’d been bitten then she’d be like him. Then he'd have wanted her.

He went to find her first.

It didn’t even matter what he’d been thinking when he made that choice, not really. Nothing Buffy could tell her made any difference to that decision – even though she knew that her friend was mad at him too. It didn’t matter whether he’d gone after Verruca to kill her or to save her. Because he loved her or because he hated her. It didn’t matter at all because… he should’ve come to her first.

What they had between them… He should’ve come to me first.

And if he didn’t, it was because he was ashamed. Ashamed of his own feelings – no matter what they were.

Getting words from Oz was always like pulling teeth, but there’d been more when he did turn up than she’d heard from him in most weeks… Apologies, he was sorry, so sorry and he’d never have – if only he’d known and he didn’t know what it was that had happened but if he saw her again then he’d… whatever.

Eventually though she’d bitten back with just six of her own.

‘You went to find her first.’

After that he’d contradicted himself a dozen times over, trying to explain that away and while she could see that he didn’t love Verruca, there was something between them that… got between what they had.

In frustration he’d even thrown the Xander thing at her. Already she hadn’t been in the mood to listen to his excuses, let alone accept them, but that… that had just been too much.

What had happened with Xander had been a terrible mistake but nothing like this. Not only hadn’t it resulted in mating but more than that it hadn’t ended up with her choosing to go after Xander when his life was in danger instead of coming to Oz to make sure he was okay, to listen to what had happened.

It was just so much… male bovine manure.

Even now, after what Verruca had done, he couldn’t just let her go. Much as he might tell himself that all he wanted to do was make sure the bitch was gone – one way or another – that wasn’t it. She could see the difference in him now even if she’d missed its significance before.

And when he’d started to try and explain the attraction? Had she asked him to? Had she wanted to hear that? Had she ever wanted to hear how he wanted someone else because of something that she couldn’t be or have? No. Didn’t matter if he called it fascination or attraction or just plain old instinct, it wasn’t a werewolf thing – they were all mammals here.

They all had instincts. But some of us choose to think our way past them.

There was no excuse. None at all.

Because he hadn’t started his pursuit of Verruca when he was a werewolf. Icky as it was, he’d been a man when it hit him, when he started to follow her around. She supposed she was lucky he hadn’t started sniffing Verruca right there in front of her… or even sniffing her more intimately than actually had happened.

‘There are packs, Willow. Communities of us…’

And?

And? Wasn’t that just another reason to be away from her?

‘They may know things, they may know how to control it…’

Or, maybe, they’d just go out and do what packs of wild dogs and wolves did – hunted. Killed. Mated with each other based on who was the strongest… But he’d already had a head start on the mating, didn’t he?

Those were the last words she’d thrown at him.

He said he was coming back to her, but she didn’t know whether he’d mean it. Not after the things she’d said.

Not after the thing’s he’d done.

She hadn’t whispered ‘don’t leave me’ until he’d already pulled away in his van. In search of some way of both embracing and controlling what he was.

Oz was gone.

------------------

“B-but aren’t they people most of the time?” Tara asked, watching Diana at work.

“They are naught but what they were created to be,” the Goddess replied, kneeling to examine the tracks that she was following.

“But they were just bitten. weren’t they?”

“This night finds you full of questions, Tara.”

“S-sorry.”

She’d always been curious, about all sorts of things. It was just that people didn’t think she was, because she didn’t tell them about it.

Usually though she liked to find out for herself, a quiet look on her own when no one was around or maybe reading a book instead. Something like that. It was how she’d found out about puppies, where they came from, the source of the stream near their house and most of her magic too.

“Keep your apologies to yourself, Tara, not your questions. Knowledge is never a mistake.” Diana wasn’t looking at her as she said this, instead she was scanning in the direction that she was obviously convinced her prey had retreated.

“So… did you create them?” she asked, curious. Whether Diana was the Goddess or not, she was certainly something unusual. And she had stories… when you could get them out of her. She talked strangely and she was pretty sure that she only understood them because of some sort of spell, the one that buzzed in her head. But she’d gotten used to that enough that she only noticed when she thought about it.

“Believe that you do not wish to understand their conception,” Diana stated plainly, it wasn’t a question.

And given how matter of fact that statement was, Tara had to admit that Diana might well be right. When she did turn her mind to where the first mixing of humans and animals might’ve come from, under the power of the old Gods? Eww. Very, very ewwww.

“They were created though.”

“As dangerous game,” Diana confirmed, sensing the air.

Tara pursed her lips. “And you hunt them?” How did she feel about that?

“I hunt everything,” Diana said, rising smoothly to her feet, contemplation of the tracks completed. They moved off in a slightly different direction. Tara didn’t pretend to understand what they were following, it wasn’t simple footprints because in places there hadn’t actually been any – even though Diana had still been following the trail. But if you’d been doing this for thousands of years, you probably did have some tricks up your sleeves.

Even if you didn’t have sleeves. Or even – apparently - underwear.

“They’re people though, no matter what they were at first – now they’re just people who were bitten.”

“And I only hunt them when the moon is full. Be assured that they would offer you less chance than I give them.”

“Why though?” Tara asked. She was hoping to hear it was because they were a danger to others, that if they weren’t stopped then other people would be mauled, maybe killed. Even if they didn’t die then the bitten would certainly become a similar danger to other people. Like an illness or a plague that would spread.

“Because they run free.” It was the only answer that Diana volunteered and the Goddess made it sound so simple and obvious. Tara found that she had to stand and think then how she felt about that.

The werewolves were hunted for sport, as much – seemingly – as any animal of the forest or the vampires that Diana amused herself with from time to time. The outcome was the same though… Someone was protecting ordinary people from what was out here and Diana’s interest was only in those who did run free, threatening to hurt or kill others.

At least that was the way she chose to look at it. If the werewolves knew what they were, then surely they could find a way to get locked up, somewhere they couldn’t hurt themselves or others? Then Diana wouldn’t be hunting them. Was it a question of them taking responsibility then? And the ones who didn’t…?

She hadn’t exactly asked what had happened to the werewolf she’d seen the other night with the Goddess in pursuit but the answer was right there and didn’t need to be stated.

If it had been caught then its fate was sealed at that moment. Probably when it came to Diana’s attention.

It wasn’t just a werewolf though, was it? Some man or woman had fallen prey to an ancient imperative to hunt. She didn’t see much beyond that in Diana’s need to track down the next target. Like what she was doing now, just for example.

In her pursuit of the werewolf, Diana had noticed black clad figures with weapons out on the campus. That was about as much detail as she’d been able to get from Diana about that, her perspective was an old one and she didn’t pay much attention to the trappings of the modern world so ‘what sorts of weapons’ had just resulted in a look. Weapons, was enough.

But it didn’t sound much like campus security and so she was comfortable with the Goddess seeking answers – though she did wonder what had ever happened to omniscience?

“C-can I ask you another question?” Tara asked.

Diana made a small amused sound and she took it as a ‘yes.’

“Why don’t you already know who this is? Or what you’re looking for?”

Diana turned to her, once again like she was simple and failed to understand the obvious. “The gifts of the oracle are not mine to possess.”

“Shouldn’t you know everything though?”

“There are few enough who know everything and I am not one who is so cursed.”

Which was… interesting. There were things then that Diana, the Goddess, didn’t know. Things she had to find out for herself. And that was why they were following some of these black clad, paramilitary sounding people. Even if the word ‘paramilitary’ had never crossed Diana’s lips.

If anyone questioned the two of them wandering around campus in broad daylight, pausing every now and then to go off into the trees or the bushes, or in the middle of the flow of the people to check… some sign… then it wasn’t apparent.

Would it have been different if the dogs had been with them? Or if Diana had been carrying her bow? Maybe… but maybe not.

Whatever Diana did just seemed to be… expected. It was a Goddess thing she was sure. If she’d even stopped to tie her bootlace then someone would’ve cursed her for getting in their way – openly or under their breath at least. Not Diana though. Nothing she did seemed ‘unusual’ to anyone else.

It was an interesting advantage to possess, one that Tara would never have considered if – a few weeks ago – anyone told her the Goddess was here and walking around, asked her to describe what that might have meant.

Thunderbolts, probably but that was a different deity.

“What will you do when you find this… person?” Tara asked.

“Determine his purpose,” Diana replied simply.

At least she wasn’t talking about hunting them then, the simple act of finding them seemed to be enough for her at the moment. Weapons notwithstanding, there was nothing – Diana had said – which suggested that these people were a threat to anyone. Right?

But then how stupid was that? If you were carrying weapons around, you were a threat. No matter what you intended for them. The police should be the only ones who got away with that sort of thing and these weren’t the police. They sounded more like the army but… the Army didn’t hang around on a college campus outside of ROTC.

“Y-you won’t hurt them?” she asked.

Diana looked at her again, those green eyes sucking her in. “Is that your wish?”

Tara was surprised, it sounded for all the world like she got to be the one who made a decision about that. Could she test it? “Please, yes. I - I don’t think people should be hurt, not unless they’re hurting someone else. Or going to – you know, l-later.”

“So be it.”

Which meant…? Diana had been ready to hurt them but… Had she just told the Goddess what to do? If she had… what did that mean?

It didn’t even sound like she’d put Diana out in the slightest either. As if nothing of consequence had changed at all. So… what was she doing?

“I have class,” Tara said after following Diana just a little further, the Goddess had come to a stop and was regarding the front of a large, frat house intently.

“Then we shall see each other another time,” Diana said, not looking at her.

“Oh. Well. Bye?”

Diana didn’t say anything. She just looked like a hunter who’d found her prey and was wondering if it would fit on the truck.

*********************

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Katharyn, Dibs? I got dibs? Cool! Willow is absolutely right: Oz should have gone directly to Willow the moment his wolf wasn’t a threat.



Absolutely agree and I still think a little snipping is in order. Glad that whole sordid incident is over and soon Willow will be on the road to healing her heart and ----------->

It didn’t occur to me that Diana would track the Initiative’s movements. At first, I thought they were tracking Oz –surprise! How is the Huntress going to find out what fresh brand of evil Walsh and her “boys” are up to? She must have some kind of powerful glamour spell activated so it probably wouldn’t be too difficult to find a way into the underground facility. When/ If, she discovers they have demons locked in cages and are performing experiments on them, it will be interesting to see how she reacts. And if Tara is with Artemis.. oh man.. she already thinks that will be her fate. To see rows upon rows of demons being tortured would flip her out big time.

It sure would be intriguing if Tara had the power to order a Goddess around!! I’m thinking she doesn’t though. Maybe that will happen sometime after the naked dancing around the fire but for now, I like the idea that she is closer to Willow in magical abilities. Keep asking questions Tara, and be glad Artemis isn’t answering with riddles like those freakish Oracle people. LOL

Excellent update!! MORE!!!

Oh Willow...I know it gets better for her, but I want to hold her and tell her it gets better :c poor baby

And here we see it seems Tara is a rather curious soul, though lifelong habits are hard to break and it seems curiosity was something that was 'discouraged' back home.

I actually read this earlier, but it was before my morning cup of tea, and I read through most of it for some reason convinced that Diana was Wonder Woman xD

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"If I can't be a good example, might as well be a horrible warning."

"Friendship is obviously magic. Love is a sorta super strong friendship. We gay people love so hard we broke 'Social Norm'. Ergo, we gay people are ultra-strong wizards."

Kajun - Yes, dibs for you! Thank you so mcuh.

Re Oz should've gone to Willow right away, see some stuff in this is me calling characters on things they should've done (or highlighting it through alternatives) but actually you can't always convey all that stuff in a 43 minute TV show so, yeah, I forgive them some of it.

So yes, Oz is gone (though he gets his reprise in NMR) and thus we're onto transitional mopey Willow, followed by Tara Willow

Diana and the Initiative. There you go again, posting reasonable stuff I should've thought of. I am going to say because she's a Goddess and can get others to do things for her then that is why it will turn out as it does!

You think naked fire dancing lets you command goddesses? Hmm, depends on your definition of Goddess I guess!

Faolan - I wonder if you will be so sympathetic to Willow after she's been mopey for a while...

My take on the Maclay household and what was 'discouraged' is - partly - driven by what I did in Sidestep. I had no interest in making Mr Maclay an outright villain though that view is debatable from 'Family', though he was very plainly wrong. So I tend to make him more even while the sibling enemy is more the 'bad egg' in the pot.

Wonderwoman? I never paid much attention. I'm not a comics reader and the TV show from the 70's wasn't a little before my time (not much) but I think her name was Diana too? But they took that from the Goddess so... my Diana was here first LOL. And I doubt Wonderwoman will go about getting her info like Diana will...

Yes, I am teasing.

Thanks for posting

For those keeping track, the climactic battle of Season 4 was edited this morning and occurs in part 65 or 66... It's not the end of the season really as there's clean up and then summer to consider, but that shows the rough split. I actually surprised myself it was so even as that, because I thought S4 was much shorter in chapters than S5 (and it is, but not as bad as I thought.)

Thanks again

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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I totally thought Diana was tracking Oz!

How will her " Investigations " affect Walsh and project 314?

In cannon, Willow rushed to OZ's rescue when he was in danger even after he left her high and dry for MONTHS and she had fallen in love with somebody else. So, Oz is a turd.... plain and simple.

Maybe payback will be a bitch in NMR?...But, that would kinda be un-Willow like.

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The kitten formerly known as SMGOVAN ~Official Head of Security for the Finey_McFine fan club. Ass whippings will be handed out liberally!

You know what, Grimm, I thought Diana was tracking Oz (or Verruca) too. At least when I started redrafting it and I couldn't remember what she was really doing! I added a load of stuff and then discovered what she was really doing LOL.

What we have to remember about this story is that it is tied to Tara and Willow's (largely alternating) points of view. So everything happening at the Initiative (or anywhere else) can just happen without it coming into the story. It's a disadvantage of writing in this way, especially when the girls aren't at the centre of every plot element from canon. Really, the whole story has shifted to put them at the centre, but that makes some of the 'plot' stuff less visible. So the Initiative is important and features in the story, but without all the revelations along the way that we get in canon.

It does all tie up, of course, but sometimes things have just happened...

Willow's actions in NMR were something I was struggling with recently as I redrafted it. NMR has - because of the impact on the Tara/Willow relationship and importance I want that to carry - actually preserved a lot of what happened in canon, though with some 'mental' clarifications on Willow's side. But I wanted Tara's fears and Willow's confusion to persist because it's part of what makes their eventual transcendence of that so very special. I could've gone down the line of Willow just flat out ignoring Oz, sure... but there's too much about that choice that's just special and it will take on another significance for them too.

So yes, big spoilers there but enough other things have changed I don't mind doing it. Besides, that's months away for you so you may have forgotten (I would have!)

Thanks!

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Sixteen
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: A prospective boyfriend for Buffy comes to see Willow for advice and Tara witnesses how Diana chooses to deal with the Initiative.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: So… this is a seed I laid very early in the story. When Sunday was killed by Diana, it kicked a few things off. Eddie and Buffy had met in the first (canon) episode but he didn’t become the latest missing person. Right…?
Oh, and isn’t it a switch from Captain Boring? I never hated Riley, I just couldn’t see the point of him, especially when he turned out to not be normal at all…
On a separate note, it’s endlessly fascinating to me how music can shape and push a fic along. Once upon a time we used to see a lot of ‘song fic’ on the board. I was never very into it, but I got the idea. What I’m talking about is something different though. Using music to write by. This works in a couple of ways… The first is where the mood of the story is reflected in the writing. Like, if there’s a love scene then you want some sort of music that’s appropriate. That can work for me, occasionally inspiring me to different places. But most likely I need something that captures my mood and pushes me along.
The Tara section of this coming part, for example, was written to a fifteen year old Metallica album we had lying around and got uploaded with everything else. I probably haven’t listened to in nearly as long… It was the beat that was having me thumping out the words and sometimes, when the ideas are drying up, that’s what you need just to push past the dry patch. Does that matter? No, I just find it interesting…
Thanks to: Louise, who waded through all the uploading of our album collection. I think I probably thanked her back then…



“You’re asking me?”

“Well… You’re her roommate,” he explained, shrugging. He’d looked terrified when she came to his table and still looked as scared now. Telling him to relax hadn’t really helped at all.

“I’m really the last person you should be asking for romantic advice,” Willow said.

“Why?”

“You don’t know? I thought everyone knew?”

“I don’t know whether I know or not… What am I supposed to know?”

Eddie had sent her a note addressed to ‘Buffy Summer’s roommate’ even though he should’ve known her name. It had asked her to coffee… For some long, horrible moments she’d thought maybe he was planning to ask her out which was… so not happening.

And not really because of anything to do with him. It was her… Like Buffy said, right now she was broken.

It seemed like she was being given a chance to deal with that though, the collective ‘they’ were giving her space. In fact ‘they’ were giving her so much space that she sometimes felt very much alone. More alone than she had in a long, long time.

On the other hand she didn’t actually want to be around the others or anyone else actually.

Most of the time anyway… Eddie’s note had caught her in one of those moments where talking to someone - anyone - would’ve been better than sitting for another moment in the total silence that loneliness had brought to her.

And better still, he really didn’t know anything about Oz. Or her. Or what should have been. Let alone what was…

“Nothing, Eddie, you’re not supposed to know anything. And look at you, you don’t. You’re clueless…”

“That’s a bit - ”

“Sorry,” she said. “But asking me for advice is, like, it’s about as desperate as it gets.”

“That’s me… just call me ‘Desperate Eddie’.”

It must’ve been one of those moments, like the one that brought her down here, where anything was better than nothing that made her say what she said next. “No. Let’s not call you that. You’re taking real steps, trying to make things work – putting in the research. You definitely should get credit for that.”

As the research girl, she had firm opinions on credit being given. Would Buffy see it the same way though?

“And there I was thinking that asking you about Buffy and how to ask her out was being creepy?”

“Only mildly,” Willow said. “It’s not like you don’t know her already. You and Buffy are friends… sort of. You did a nice thing for her when she really needed you to.”

“So gratitude - ”

“Isn’t going to get you a date,” Willow said finished for him. Just because Buffy had been out of sorts and he’d reached out to her, it’d helped her friend a lot right then, but it wasn’t the foundation of a relationship. Not even a Buffy Summers relationship.

“Okay.”

He sat there expectantly, looking at her.

“I’ll be honest,” Willow offered. “You’re not really… Well, you’re not her usual type.”

“Oh. She has a type then?”

Type implied plurals. Implications that might lead their way to conclusions. Had she just labelled Buffy as… loose with her affections? No. You could have a type without acting on it.

And what kind of type? Dead?

No, Eddie wasn’t ready for that. It definitely wasn’t her job to tell him.

“Well, her last boyfriend, her last serious boyfriend was…” What to say? “Older. He was quite a bit older.”

“She likes mature then? What do you think? Stubble? A moustache? I can do that. I mean, it grows slowly for me, but I can get there.”

“Umm… no. Not a moustache.”

“Good, I really don’t think I’d look good with a tache. Stubble then?”

“I don’t think so,” Willow replied. Given the available evidence and the unfortunate downsides, she had to go with a no on that one too.

“Perhaps if I deepen my voice?” Eddie demonstrated.

“Are you trying to sound like Darth Vader’s father?”

“No…”

“How’s this for an idea. No tricks. No strategies. You could just try being yourself,” she said. “Nice and sweet and never ever lying to her or deceiving her. Or looking at another woman.

“And if she asks if something’s wrong and there is something wrong then you say if there’s something wrong. You certainly don’t say there’s nothing wrong and leave things awkwardly hanging until something goes wrong and then it’s too late to do anything about it. Certainly not that.”

“Umm… did I catch you at a bad time?” Eddie asked after taking a moment to absorb her wisdom.

“No, no. Not at all. Come one, come all. Come to Doctor Rosenberg for your relationship advice. Xander comes to me asking what he should do for Anya. Anya comes to me asking me what he likes and warning me to stay away from him because now I’m single. Buffy has one disaster after another and I nurse her through it, because that’s what friends do… but when I have my own problem then it’s just fine, I’ll get through it.”

“I did. I caught you at the wrong time, I should probably - ”

“You should probably sit down, drink your coffee and ask your questions,” she instructed so forcefully that his butt went right back down into the chair. “Just be ready for the answers.”

“Umm.”

“There, see, stop going ‘umm’ it makes you sound indecisive.”

“Um – Okay, I can do that. Indecisive is bad. Right?”

“Indecisive is bad. Once you have something then you stick with it. You stick with it and work out the problems when they come along so no ‘umm.’”

“Okay… I was wondering where I should take Buffy? You know, like on a date.”

“Don’t… Don’t take her on any moonlit walks,” Willow said.

“She doesn’t like to walk?”

“She does a lot of that sort of thing already,” Willow said, “and you might not be ready for what happens out there.”

“I think I might be ready,” he said, plainly taking another meaning from it entirely.

Okay, she wasn’t about to put him straight. Not now anyway. “Look, maybe… take her to the fair.”

“The fair?”

“Yeah,” Willow said. “I don’t think I ever saw her go to the fair. It’ll be something new and original. Without any bad memories or little things that just remind her and make her sob…”

“Okay, sobbing would be bad too. Right?”

“It lets out the stress,” Willow told him but then remembered what she was supposed to be doing. “But… from your point of view, yes, you want to avoid it and if she starts, you can consider it date over, okay?”

“The fair then?”

“I think it’ll charm her,” Willow said. “Some rides, some cotton candy, toffee covered apples?”

“But she looks like she eats like a bird? She’s tiny.”

“The girl goes through some calories, if you know what I mean?”

A grin spread across Eddie’s face. The sort of grin Willow imagined only a guy could have, one that was a total misreading of the actual meaning but he didn’t care, he was in his happy place, mentally. “I think I know what you mean… yeah.”

No… No, you don’t.

“Eddie, no matter what you may have heard,” she said, remembering an unfortunate rumour she’d had a hand in. “You absolutely don’t want to rush things with Buffy.”

He shook his head. “Rushing? No, I’m not a rusher. I’m a planner. I think about things for a… Well, I think for a long time.”

“That’s good. You think about what you’re doing, and the consequences of your actions.”

He swallowed. “Consequences?”

“Yes. Consequences like I will beat you round the head with a dirty brick if you hurt her again.” There’s only room for one of us to be broken at a time in that room.

“Again? I hurt her already?”

“No,” she said exasperated. “But she’s been hurt before and… Buffy’s impulsive. She sees something she likes and she just goes with it. It’s how she is. So… you have to be the responsible one. You have an equal part to play in how this goes and that means you get to be aware of the consequences too.”

Of course, Eddie was about as far from a ‘player’ like ass-hat Parker as it was possible to get. He was, probably, a good man. And now they all knew what good men were worth, didn’t they?

She’d known a good man and he was… what? Running around with werewolves humping their legs until the full moon when he could get it on properly? That was a ‘good man’ for you… They asked before they humped your leg.

“Consequences being the brick?” he checked.

“A dirty brick,” she corrected. The ‘dirty’ was important.

“Check.”

Eddie sipped his coffee – or tried to. It was still too hot by the look of it. But he was watching her, weighing something up. “Go on,” she said. “Ask what you like.”

“I… this is going to sound stupid, but…”

“There are no stupid questions,” Willow said, really hoping he wasn’t about to ask her about the birds and the bees. Now that would be one place she really wasn’t prepared to go, even if she wasn’t sure he’d have any practical experience. “Just stupid people. Men, mostly.”

“Uhuh… I was just wondering, are you okay?”

“What was your first clue?” Willow asked, laughing more bitterly than she intended to.

“Oh, I don’t know, you were just dropping a few hints in there. You just went through a breakup?”

“If you want another hint, don’t talk to Buffy about that,” she said. Her roommate was already sick of her…

Buffy’s patience with her relationship collapse wasn’t even matching the post-Parker funk that they’d all had to take her through. Let alone the summer of ‘Angel is gone’…

Do as I say, not as I do.

Or maybe I’m just been extra mopey?

“Oh. Right. But, do you want to talk about it?”

He looked like he actually meant it too which was… appealing. Maybe Buffy was actually about to be propositioned by a good guy. Stranger things had certainly happened.

Of course, Buffy and good guys? She’d probably start running for the hills… find herself a bad boy instead.

“Thanks, Eddie, that’s sweet of you but… I don’t think I’m ready to go through it all yet. I’d just end up venting on you.”

“You can, if it’ll help,” he offered, but sounded relieved enough that she wasn’t intending to.

“Be nice to Buffy and I’ll call that a big success. I can’t deal with her falling apart on me too,” Willow said. “I just can’t and I don’t want to be a bad friend to her so… if you hurt her…”

“I know… brick.”

“Dirty brick.”

She looked out of the window, something having caught her eye. “What the hell was that?”

--------------------

Tara had taken to calling them ‘The Commando Guys’ and… turned out they were everywhere.

At least they were once you knew where to look. Most people didn’t see them though.

She hadn’t seen them until Diana had pointed them out and tracked one down. She supposed, even if someone had caught direct sight of them, you’d assume it was some sort of college society running around. They had paintballing here and that role-playing thing where you ran around and pretended you were… Well, maybe you pretended you were a commando guy?

Seemed like being on campus was almost better camouflage than what they were actually wearing which was a mix of greens, khaki’s, blacks and greys. All muted tones. She understood the theory just fine, she’d been practising the same arts for some time, choosing to blend into the background of certain events rather than stand out from the crowd.

They were all just dressed the same and somehow these guys seemed more invisible than you’d have thought was possible though.

And they were guys, she hadn’t seen anyone who was obviously a woman yet anyway.

On the other hand, for all she knew she might’ve just been looking at the same three or four guys over and over again… Aside from the fact that they were all in shape and big, she couldn’t have said much else about them as individuals. That was what masks did for you.

Strangely though, they didn’t quite look… well, professional. When you saw the army on TV – the other big wearers of khaki and camouflage in the world – they had all this gear to communicate and protect themselves while these guys… well, they had woollen sweaters, ski masks and guns. That was a lot, but it wasn’t quite… it kind of looked like the cheapskate option, even if the guns were weird enough to fit in with that game theme.

On the other hand she didn’t even own a green sweater so… they were better equipped than she was, no matter what they were doing.

“It is their purpose which exercises me,” Diana said.

So far the woman who claimed to the Goddess had been true to her word – at least so far as Tara knew. She’d tracked the commando guys to one of the entrances to their lair. That was what Diana called it anyway, but… it looked more like a house to Tara. Plenty of people came and went just in the time they’d been here, most of them big guys with what you might call ‘military haircuts.’

Not exactly stealthy either…

Seemed like sometimes the house would be full to bursting and other times more people came out than seemed likely. And that was why she – and Diana – thought it was an entrance to somewhere else. Underground maybe?

Finding out wasn’t her job, thank goodness. They’d been joined by another ‘person’ and Tara had never known the like before. She’d never even been told about them by her Momma, who’d tried to prepare her for most things in life.

And the rest of the world.

Not this though, not the sheer, incontrollable wave of… Well, there wasn’t much she could call it but ‘lust’ when the woman walked into the room. She’d never admit it, but you could tell that Kassia – that was her name – was well aware of it. She was all kinds of exotic, it seemed impossible to even isolate her ethnicity other than to be sure that she wasn’t from any one background.

Nor was Kassia – particularly – beautiful for all that she dressed to make the most of her – not inconsiderable - assets. But it was… It was like there was a field of desire around her. Not even a specific one, not for her anyway, Tara didn’t look at her and want to be with her. Not at all.

She found that she just wanted to be with… someone. Intimately. Diana had prepared her for it, or tried to, telling her to take hold of herself, that the sensation would pass when the succubus got used to her presence.

It was the eyes that seemed to carry more of Kassia’s power, Tara simply knew that if the succubus focused attention on her then there was little chance she’d escape with her clothes on… She’d have ripped them all off herself.

Fortunately for both of them Kassia, the succubus, had seemed monumentally disinterested in her.

Not that she minded, given the creature’s purpose here. She didn’t mind at all if sex on legs didn’t want anything to do with her. In fact that was all kinds of alright. It wasn’t even the Goddess’ command that Kassia be here. Money – or more accurately coin – had changed hands shortly after her arrival.

The succubus was a mercenary.

“Just information then?” Kassia asked.

“For now,” Diana said. “Purpose, location. Anything else you think is germane.”

“They’re dangerous,” Kassia said.

“And the coin you’ve been paid is not inconsiderable.”

“Coin means nothing to you,” the succubus pointed out.

“And it means everything to you.”

“There are rumours about this place,” Kassia said, pointedly ignoring the human in their midst. “Those from beyond the veil are hunted and taken by men.”

Was it significant that Kassia looked at her at that moment? Was there something that allowed her to know about her? Some sense? Given what she was… it possible. Anything in this world was possible, obviously.

“Nothing will hunt you,” Diana promised. “Until I allow it. Bring me what I require and you will be rewarded.”

“Fail and earn your displeasure?”

Tara looked to the Goddess, wondering what the penalty for failing her might be.

“You? Fail? In a house of men beyond marriageable age? I think not.”

The succubus smiled and it reminded Tara of how she imagined a cat would smile when it was anticipating just which parts of the mouse to leave intact on the pillow.

“You’re right, of course. I will bring you what you need.”

“Have you chosen one?” Diana asked.

“One. All. Does it matter?” Kassia shrugged.

“Focus your attention,” the Goddess instructed.

“As you will it,” Kassia shrugged but otherwise seemed unperturbed by the change to her ‘plans’.

Tara wasn’t sure she wanted to ever be certain what those plans might have been. Being pretty sure was more than enough.

“I require everything,” Diana reminded her.

“I told you that I understood.”

“Good. Then you may go.”

With a nod and a not unconscious adjustment of her cleavage, the succubus started towards the house.

“She’s not really just going to walk in there and…?”

“Yes.”

“B-but - ”

“You felt the effect of her presence,” Diana said. It wasn’t a question. “That was unconscious, simply a consequence of what she is. When she chooses there will be nothing that any of them can do to resist her. No one of woman born. Those creatures were made for the purpose, much as the werewolves were.”

“Who by?”

“One who was once counted as my sister,” Diana said, brushing it off as if she was long gone – could a goddess be ‘gone’? “They have their uses, though they forget their place and these days require coin to fulfil their purpose. This one was hungry, I could simply have pointed her at this place but there would be no guarantee of the results.”

“Will she hurt them?”

“Her kind rarely kills anymore. Whoever she selects will be weak for a number of days, but otherwise recover. They’ll likely count themselves fortunate to have been with her.”

“I… I couldn’t have sent someone to do that,” Tara said.

“It nourishes her as food does for you. Nothing else will sustain her.”

“That’s awful!”

“Spoken like the untouched,” Diana said dismissively. “What, you’re surprised that I know? I know all about you, Tara Maclay. You belong to me many times over.”

“H-how?”

“Your belief. Your innocence. Your potential. All of it lies within my bounds. And that is why I chose you.”

“Chose me for… wh-what?” That ‘priestess’ role that had been mentioned before? When Diana left town?

“All in good time. This first…”

Kassia waited at the door of the house until it was opened by one of the military looking young men with the cropped hair… Tara hadn’t heard much about a succubus before, but it became obvious within a matter of seconds that he really didn’t stand a chance.

******************

_________________
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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Oh, I should totally admit that I 'liberated' (with permission) the succubus here from an unpublished novel that I proofed for a friend. I didn't include the scientific background that he had in there, but then I needed something more mythical for my purposes. But to use this wouldn't have occurred to me otherwise. However if Willow ever has cause to over-analyse it then his science will be what I fall back on.

And for the record his novel predated a certain Canadian & queer-ish TV show that I've still never seen but I really need to go and look at downloading...

_________________
-------------------------
If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Succubi!!! Oh my stars, if only we'd seen more good ole' fashioned mythological creatures. Yeah we had vampires, and werewolves, etc on the show. But Succubi! Bigfoot! Trolls! She has been hired to seduce men, but I love that you specify 'mercenary' and not 'whore'.

Oh Eddie. I'm either gonna adore you, or despise you. No in-betweens. You're an average dude, which I love. But that can also make me hate you.

_________________
"If I can't be a good example, might as well be a horrible warning."

"Friendship is obviously magic. Love is a sorta super strong friendship. We gay people love so hard we broke 'Social Norm'. Ergo, we gay people are ultra-strong wizards."

Katharyn, One of the many things I didn’t like about Riley was his competitiveness with Buffy. He just couldn’t take, despite his daily dose of strength enhancing drugs, constantly getting his ass kicked by a girl. He kept trying to take her down though. UGH. It would be nice if Buffy was able to enjoy dating someone actually normal for a change. Hopefully, if Eddie dates Buffy, he will always keep Willow’s threat of the “dirty brick” in mind. LOL

I can see Xander being too pre-occupied with booty calls to be there for Willow but what the heck is Buffy’s deal? If she’s not chasing cardboard guy and not dating Eddie yet, what has she been up to? Actually doing some research with Giles on the mysterious Huntress/Goddess?

Ohhh.. Lost Girl.. I really like that show, especially the side-kick! Diana may be centuries old, but she understands, even in this modern world, some things never change. LOL Kassia, the sexy succubus, is sure to make quick work of getting info from the Army-Wannabes. And I bet it wasn’t that she was disinterested, more like she wouldn’t dare use her power on Diana’s Protégé!

The first thing that crossed my mind at the mention of Diana’s “former” sister is Glory –my favorite Big Bad. Wouldn’t that be a strange twist?! Anyhoo.. There is more going on here than a chance for Tara to become a Priestess. But what?????? Did you already give a clue and I totally missed it? LOL

As always.. excellent storytelling!!

This is great! I'm totally digging this story. I LOVE that Tara has a life before the scoobies! Taking the "behind the scenes/ missing scenes" approach and building an alternative story is great. Refreshing and fun.
Tara hanging out with Diana it's just so cool. Loved the
" Actually, it just seemed like a good use of the costumes, plus Annie said I could rock a suit.” Especially once she’d fastened her hair back and put on the hat.

That had been a big deal. No one had told her that she ‘rocked’ anything before. Not clothes, not musically, not even the Kasbah."
The kasbah awesome. I also loved the forwarned exchange between Buffy and Willow about Willow and ladies. Ha!

Can't wait for the next update!

_________________
"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." -Rose Franken
"I think when I cease to go to the bathroom, then I can call myself famous." -Amber Benson
"I'd rather be a fake lesbian than a sorority girl."- A Rugby Teammate
"The Hammer is my Penis," Captain Hammer, 'Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog.'

Damn you, Spicy One * shakes tiny fist at webcam *! I tought about the Glory angle too. That would be a delicious twist to season 5.

Yea, self-absorbed Scoobies. That really burned my ass in canon. It will be very interesting to see if Buffy actually gives Eddy the time of day. Thinking ahead, if she does, what happens when Faith wakes up and does the switcheroo?

So, which one of the Soldier boys get to be the "helpless victim"? Captain cardboard could use the excitement and Forrest needs to de-stress. But, Graham was a little easier on the eyes... .

Sweet Tara won't have to worry about that pesky virginity for to much longer. Willow will be along to liberate it from her soon enough .

I'm digging what you are doing here, Katharyn.You have the gift of imagination. Thank you for sharing it with us .

Heya everyone, thank you so very, very much for commenting and feeding back.

Faolan - Yeah, Succubi. Don't expect her to hang around a lot, they tend to lend 'confusion' to feelings and I don't want any confusion. On the other hand don't expect the like not to show up again

There were trolls on the show, well one troll, in S5 I think... And yes, it was important to me that she was a mercenary. Of course other people might have called Kassia something else. Strictly speaking, she needs to feed anyway so it's like getting paid to eat a balanced diet and work out

Eddie... I don't know what I've done (yet!) to earn this mistrust. At least in THIS story? LOL

Thanks

Kajun - I had no particular hatred of Riley, I really didn't. I just didn't see the point. And from my perspective, writing this, if there was no point to him then I really wanted to trim him from the story and replace him with someone who I could drop for prolonged periods without needing to insert him into anything (inc the story!)

Like I may have said somewhere else (or possibly in the notes for the next part) remember that a little time has passed here and Willow's mopeyness (like Buffy's before it) will be grating on people. You can't walk on eggshells forever. Buffy was there, now Willow just needs to move on. (Not long now!)

I've never seen Lost Girl, but I fully intend to

Diana's sister? Actually, that can be explained by going to Google. The Greek Pantheon were all related to each other. Sometimes in creative ways! It's safe to say though that - since you know S5 is coming and you know that anything external to the story so far has to happen - we will certainly get to Glory. Eventually. No mystery there either Now, whether I'm getting twisty beyond that... I shall not say. Thanks muchly for your support.

Missocki - Heya, glad your enjoying it!

It was really important to me that Tara had something in her life (even if it was imperfect) before Willow. I mean, when you look at her in S4 she's quiet, not damaged. Someone utterly alone all her life wouldn't know how to make friends, how to socialise or have the courage to do something about it. I think really this was all there, just didn't get shown for obvious reasons.

Tara in fancy dress though... This will be a theme, one that was started with me by Xita years ago. Xita was obsessed with the Doc Marten boots Tara had in Hush. We will see them. Then you get little glimpses, the way she could rock that leather jacket for instance, that maybe she could - from time to time - pull off a soft butch look. Certain people might be appreciative of that, is all I'm saying. Without trying to change her... Just to maximise the use of her wardrobe. Fancy dress though? Loads of opportunities there

Also, I don't think you can just drop Willow heading to the femme side of the tent in from nowhere at all. So... yeah, I drop a few hints and foreshadowing

Next update will probably be tomorrow evening (UK time). That's what you get with this story. No long waits but the price is that it's a long haul... Thanks for joining in!

Grimm - There may yet be a twist there... but I've explained that comment away. Doesn't mean your speculation is wrong, just that, well, it wasn't what I intended at this point. I can tell you this because Tara already knows it

I'm hoping you guys aren't going to be hating on Buffy. I'm trying so hard to redeem her, I got rid of Spike and everything!

Which soldier? Good question. Good in the sense of 'unimportant but vaguely interesting'(!) Strangely, despite being in S4, we won't get as much Initiative and Adam as you might expect. Why? Because the focus isn't on Buffy, it's on Tara and Willow. Those things are there and things are happening, but off camera while I stick to my own rules. This is Tara and Willow's season 4... If you really want to know though, lets say Forrest.

As for the virginity comment. You think? Does that mean you assume that they'll just get down on the laundry room floor and go for it? Could happen... I mean, I've done it before. Several times LOL.

Thanks for your kind words, I'm digging you being around to share your thoughts and opinions. Goes for everyone.
Till tomorrow.

Katharyn

_________________
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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
-------------------------

Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Seventeen
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: The Scooby’s are out in a bar and Tara finds out what Kassia, the succubus, discovered.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: So this part really marks the first appearance of Anya in the story. She’s pretty much always going to be comic relief and because she will be seen so often from Willow’s perspective she’ll also come across as somewhat ‘one note.’ This is a conscious decision on my part and not just for her. The perspective of the two main characters will certainly shape the portrayal of the people around them, I don’t think that can be avoided. And remember, we only see what Willow or Tara perceives. What know what they believe and they can be wrong. A good example is that in the last part Willow was mopey and feeling all alone so, from her perspective, Buffy was fed up of her and not being there as much as she could’ve been. Maybe Buffy was around a lot more? Maybe not. Oh, a little time has passed since Oz left, I think the canon pretty much did that too – it gave Willow a little time.



“Xander was offered a job working construction,” Anya said brightly.

Willow didn’t think she could just ignore her this time. She was being directly addressed and it’d just be rude. It was a ‘button’ topic too. Employment, like its consequence – money – was one of Anya’s favoured conversation areas and probably safer than some of the others too.

For her own sanity, she should say something. Keep her on this, even though she really didn’t want to get into it. “Oh?”

“I turned it down for him.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, I’m very happy with his earning potential here in the bar.”

“Oh.”

“He has a number of shifts and is considered the assistant manager when he’s only been here for a few of weeks. He has ‘potential’. His boss told him so.”

“Oh.” She considered, for a moment, telling Anya how proud she must be. But ‘Oh’ seemed safest, especially when Anya gave no sign that she was close to being done.

“I did consider the advantages of a man who works regular hours, but decided that since my needs were hardly as regular as that there was little reason to push him to work in the daytime. After all, what if I needed him then?” Anya’s question seemed to require more of an answer than she’d gotten away with so far.

“I guess that could be a problem,” Willow said absently, looking across the bar not so much at Xander but to where Eddie was trying to - Well, you couldn’t really call it ‘putting the moves’ on Buffy, but in his own mind that might be what he was doing.

It was just… basically moveless.

He was trying though and… Oh, God. She’d just given Anya a segue into her other favoured topic.

“Yes, he’d be sweaty and dirty. And that’s fine sometimes, but when there’s no time for sex in the shower - ”

“Anya!”

“What?”

“Nothing - Please… umm… stop?”

“I’m sorry, I’m being insensitive. I know that you are still distressed about losing your man and since we’ve come to the understanding that you can’t have mine then we can continue to be friends despite you being single.”

We’re not friends.

“Great. Will you be joining us for Thanksgiving?” Willow asked. She was willing to make conversation, any conversation to get off the topic of Anya’s second favourite thing. She’d let herself be distracted by watching Buffy and Eddie and look what had happened. Shower sex? How did you get to that from working in a bar? Even though she didn’t really want to, she had to pay attention. Otherwise…

It was the stuff of nightmares.

“Xander told me you didn’t believe in Thanksgiving?”

Willow shrugged, she wasn’t in the mood to fight about it. Especially not when Buffy was going all out – albeit in Giles’ kitchen. “It’s important to Buffy,” she said. “And… I don’t much want to be on my own.”

“I see. So friends are more important than hypocrisy?”

“I guess,” she agreed. It was a blunt assessment but true enough.

Anya sat there, happy to have got her to say so. Or so it seemed.

“That’s it?” Willow asked, feeling like she was being sucked into it.

“What else do you want?”

“Don’t you want to warn me not to make a move on Xander? You know, again…”

Anya beamed. “You do understand already. I told him you did.”

“Yes,” Willow agreed. “I do understand. But you know, it’s a good job that you didn’t let him work construction…” She leaned in, as if this was some secret she was sharing.

Sometimes I can be bad.

“Why?”

“Have you ever heard of the Village People?”

“No… why? Where do they live?”

“You need to go look them up,” she suggested and then leaned in conspiratorially. “It’s not just girls that you have to worry about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Xander could be very attractive to some men. Especially if he was all muscled and sweaty.”

Anya was definitely aback, looked over to where he was working. Serving two guys. “Really?”

“I’m no expert,” Willow told her. “But sure… if he was working construction, that could happen. Go look that group up, you’ll see. Not very native Americans, traffic cops, construction workers… You’ll see.”

“I’ll do that. I really hadn’t thought about the threat from men since I was confident that he was secure in his sexuality.”

“Well, it’s only fair that you consider it.”

“Do you really think Xander would...?”

Willow left her there, suppressing her smile long enough to cross the room to Buffy who’d momentarily been left alone by Eddie’s trip to the bar.

“You look happy,” Buffy commented, but then added to it quickly. “Which is good, after all the – not happiness. But why are you happy? I left you with Anya…?”

“It’s not really happiness,” Willow told her. “It’s more accurate to call it ‘successful vindictiveness’.”

“Ah, you’re messing with Anya’s money or her possessiveness of Xander then?”

“Xander. Now if you wanted to mention the Village People to her sometime then we could maybe see something really special…”

“You’re not telling her guys are into Xander are you?”

“Oh, yes. But enough about my fun times messing with other people’s relationships, how’s it going with you and Eddie?”

“It’s going… It’s going as you’d expect when all my friends – and Anya – are giving him space and hanging around watching. I feel like a performing seal.”

“I need to live my life vicariously through you now,” Willow explained. “Anya’s only paying attention to Xander and he’s still stressing about selling alcohol to… well, to people like you who shouldn’t be getting it. You’re not having too much are you?”

“I’m strictly fruit juice Buffy,” the other girl said, showing off her empty glass. “I figure I screw up enough without alcohol being in the mix. Though… this is hard work. I mean with Eddie. Not the drinking - I learned how to drink from a glass years ago.”

“Not hitting it off?” Buffy and Eddie had to get it together. He was… he wouldn’t leave her. That was a big recommendation right there. Of all the qualities she’d learned to value ‘wouldn’t leave her’ was newly promoted to the top of the pile.

“I… No, it’s not that. He’s a nice guy.”

“I told you. But… You don’t know what to do with a nice guy, do you?” Willow suggested. That was what she’d been worried about. The very obvious… ordinariness.

“No – I mean, yes. Though there will be no ‘doing’ – nice guy or not – but, I’m making all of the running…”

“Ah, he’s a little nervous.”

“More than a little, Will. I keep worrying he might pee himself or something. I mean, he’s on another bathroom run.”

“He listens to you though?” In the planning session with Eddie, she’d been very big on making sure he made listening obvious. Not that she’d expected any different, he was a guy who knew how to pay attention because he was less sure what he needed to say.

“Yeah, but I can’t tell him about most of the things that are going on around here…” Buffy shrugged.

Willow considered that just as she saw him and realised that Eddie was holding back from returning to Buffy’s side. Maybe he recognised that now his intended was getting coached.

Just call me cupid. Cute, obsessed with love – even other peoples - and armed with a bow.

Note to self, get bow.

And dirty brick. Just in case.

“There’s not that much to worry about right now though, is there? I mean, in your secret double-life?”

“Not really, things are pretty under control, I guess…” Buffy admitted.

“So maybe you can be what you always wanted to be,” Willow suggested. “Maybe you can be normal girl Buffy, not Slayer Buffy? With him, I mean… Maybe you can talk about that?”

“Normal girl Buffy was the one who was with Parker,” Buffy pointed out. “She’s had her chance and she blew – Blew nothing. She messed it up. Slayer Buffy would’ve kicked his ass…”

“He’s coming back,” Willow said. “Maybe… just you can just be Buffy Summers then? How does she feel about him?”

“I… don’t know.”

“But that’s not a ‘no, I’m never doing this again’ is it?”

“No… it’s not a ‘no’. But it’s not a ‘yes’, either! Okay?”

“Good enough for now, good luck!” As she scampered away Willow gave Eddie a thumbs up. She hadn’t intended to spy for him, but since he’d asked her advice and Buffy seemed to be not unreceptive… Thumbs up were merited.

He wasn’t playing against a stacked deck, only he could mess this up. Buffy was someone who – despite all her other qualities – always felt like she needed to be with someone.

And yes, she was biased. It’d be nice to have a roommate who was dating a nice guy instead of a vampire or an asshole. One of them should have something good going on in their life…

Maybe she should take her own advice though and resolve that her next date, whenever that was, would be nice and… ordinary. Unremarkable in every way.

Sounds like a plan.

-----------------

“Are y-you sure you want to tell me this?” Tara asked.

“You hold an elevated position at my right hand, Tara,” Diana told her.

They were walking again, though she’d ‘walking’ often enough with the Goddess to understand that if the dogs were here then Diana was actually anticipating a hunt of some kind. She didn’t bring them along just for the exercise.

“That’s not really me,” Tara told her, brushing that right hand across Jupiter’s muzzle when he came snuffling. Better now than after he’d eaten. She’d made that mistake before. “I’m not r-really all that great with heights.”

“That was a joke,” she added when Diana looked at her strangely. Some things probably didn’t translate across the centuries all that well.

“It is there for the taking.”

“I… I don’t do a lot of ‘taking’ either.”

“Indeed. You are a nurturer, a mother figure,” Diana acknowledged.

“I don’t know about that either - ” Mother? Really?

“To everyone else it is obvious. You are stronger than you fear you are, Tara. I would have you take over the group, make it into what it should be now that they have their example.”

“Something that actively worships you?” she wondered.

“Those days are past,” Diana said, shaking her head and sounding as if she still regretted it. “Simple belief is enough in place of worship and devotions. You can help them believe, you can make them into what they should be.”

“How?”

“You have often related to me the things that your mother taught you.”

Usually when she’d been questioning what Diana was doing…

“Teach them those things? Can they…?” She had a different heritage. One that gave her – and Momma before her – the power that Diana was talking about.

Even if she could teach the techniques to other people then she wasn’t sure that they would be able to follow and accomplish them. At some point it became about intrinsic magical capability.

And hadn’t Momma hadn’t been very strict about not doing exactly that to avoid giving their existence to people who might choose to hunt them down and hurt them? Yes. Yes, she had.

“Here, in this place,” Diana said, “there are many things that can be done that would be difficult, if not impossible, elsewhere. It is, after all, the gateway.”

A gateway to Hell. Or so she’d been told.

It seemed though that you could find your way to Hell from anywhere. That a demon could take you wherever you were, no matter what you did with your life and how you lived it. Being good was no defence, merely a way to do less harm over all. But goodness was especially irrelevant here, wasn’t it?

“But should… Are they ready for it?”

“Were you?”

Tara didn’t say anything. It was true that Momma had started with her at a young age. Before she was out of kindergarten for the earliest lessons. Could she really argue that had been appropriate while giving some of the same knowledge to college students wasn’t? The things that they could cope with. That they couldn’t hurt themselves – or anyone else – with?

The point was that she trusted her mother’s judgement and the content of what she’d taught more than she trusted her own.

“Couldn’t you teach them?” she asked.

“Your reason for asking that is that you would have none of the responsibility, but they should be yours… I want to give them to you, Tara.”

Both the dogs pushed cold noses into her palms at the same time, seeming to back up their mistress’s words with a simple sign of trust and affection. It was a powerful marker, especially when she’d seen what they could do.

“I… You can’t ‘give’ people to me. You can’t give them to anyone.”

“Of course,” Diana said. “You’re right.”

A Goddess was apologising to her? Or nearly. It had to be a good sign – that she’d come around to see reason and admit it.

“I’m – I’m not the person you want,” Tara said. “I don’t know what you want to do b-but, I’m probably not the person.”

“You’re actions run contrary to your words. Responsibility will rest easily on your shoulders, if you allow it to. If you find the strength within yourself. But I return to what I wish to discuss with you – we know now what the black garbed men are doing here.”

Yes, she’d interrupted the Goddess’ attempt to tell her.

How was that for bold? What would Momma have thought of that choice?

What would Daddy have thought of her manners and her choice of walking companion? He’d be horrified, obviously.

“If you think I should know,” Tara said, half hoping – though she had natural curiosity about it – that Diana would decide otherwise at the last moment. Knowledge wasn’t just power like people said, it was responsibility. Or maybe power was responsibility.

Same thing in the end though. Once she knew, she might feel she had to take part in doing something about it. Especially if what Diana had told her so far was true.

“They think they can hold back the world beyond the veil of normal human sight. In their arrogance they exploit it, think that they understand it through their science and their ex-peri-ments.”

“Did – did Kassia hurt him?” Tara asked, thinking that a little more important.

“He will be regretting nothing but her absence,” Diana said, seeming unconcerned. “No lover will ever again live up to what he experienced in her grasp, but he will otherwise be intact. But what we learned is more important than your compassion.”

“Can’t you… do something?” Tara asked, not at all sure that was the right thing to ask, but it ought to have been within her power. As a Goddess and all.

“What would you have me do?” Diana asked. “If the only way to stop them was to end their lives, would you have me do that?”

“N-No.”

“And yet it may come to that,” the Goddess said. “Perhaps your question referred to my supposed ability to simply change things to match my will?”

“I suppose.”

“If we had ever been possessed of such power then we would never have faded from the human minds and would rule here still,” Diana said. She didn’t sound particularly wistful for those olden days but it confirmed what Tara had already suspected. This Goddess was no absolute power. She couldn’t just snap her fingers and see all of reality changed. There were still limits.

And, aside from the hunting and a few spells at Wicca Group, what had she really seen by way of power? Spotlessness running through the undergrowth really wasn’t a world shaking power.

“Is that – is that why you want me to train the Wicca Group?” Tara asked, its numbers were swollen considerably now and without anyone actually showing them much at all. At the moment the sessions were a strange combination of self-empowerment and calming techniques – not coincidentally she was sure, since both were effectively pre-requisites for most of the magic that Tara had been taught as a girl.

You had to believe and you’d better be calm otherwise… unfortunate things could happen.

Diana just smiled.

“I don’t know…”

“Think on it, Tara. But reach your decision soon. Someone will need to lead them and I will soon be concerned with other matters.”

“What?”

“Knowledge that I would only give to one who was following me, even as she believes in me,” Diana said. “You should go back.”

“Oh?”

“I am about to hunt and I know it disturbs you. There is a hart… in the trees.”

“Here?” It seemed unlikely so close to town, so close to the campus.

“I am also the Goddess of animals,” Diana reminded her.

And just what was the extent of her power?

****************

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Oh, dibs! Willow planning to get equipped as cupid (with a bow and a DIRTY brick) - hilarious. So since Xander won't work construction he won't catch syphyllis? Good for him! Now I'm wondering if their will be a native american type incident for our scoobies at all. If Tara is weary to lead the wiccans alone, maybe she won't be opposed to a joint leadership with a certain redhead...

Only two more chapters until they'll meet, I can hardly wait!

Hey Willsredemption - Thanks so much

Yeah, that Native American episode was one I pretty much skipped aside from mentioning that Thanksgiving actually happened. It just struck me that if I'd been only a little slower I could've timed it for the real holiday LOL.

I never really liked that episode and the funniest thing about it actually - I think - came in another episode where Xander refers to the 'funny syphilis' so... Nah, I wasn't that bothered. It wasn't a Willow episode and so... meh.

There's no spoilers to admitting that!

And yeah, not long at all now until the girls are aware of each other!

Thanks again

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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I just realized that although we learn here about Xander's bartender gig we didn't get the "beer bad" episode either. Well, since the cathartic "knee in groin" happened at Halloween Buffy probably wasn't depressed enough to get drunk on bad beer, was she? By the way, I just realized that the "big bad wolf" Parker got kneed by Little Red Riding Hood - that must really have an impact on his reputation...lol!

You're absolutely right. The trouble is what I've said before , where a story is about someone else (like Beer Bad) then I thought I was better skipping past it rather than rewriting it to get Willow into it. I couldn't see either of the girls getting drunk or letting Buffy get drunk if they were there. At the end of the day any version of that wouldn't have made much sense. All the quicker getting to Hush

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Yay speedy updatey goodness! Short yet sweet. I hope that Tara takes over the group, I would love to see her teach magic skills and control. Which reminds me of something that always bothered me during the course of the actual show. Tara was a natural born witch who has been practicing since practically birth and she isn't teaching Willow about control and power? Or introduced the the group sooner? Let me keep powerful EXPERIENCED cute witch I'm cushing on from the group, good call Willow. Can't see how she couldn't be useful...
Glad to see that you are giving her credit and using her skills to develop the story.

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"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." -Rose Franken
"I think when I cease to go to the bathroom, then I can call myself famous." -Amber Benson
"I'd rather be a fake lesbian than a sorority girl."- A Rugby Teammate
"The Hammer is my Penis," Captain Hammer, 'Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog.'

I liked Willow having a little fun with Anya. I LMAO @ the Village people .

I know this is a Willow/Tara story. But, Cave-Buffy was awesome in Beer Bad.

I am really anxious to see how the girls meet in Hush. With Tara's elevated status as Diana's right hand, I don't see her sitting on the floor, staring at her shoes when Willow suggests trying some spells.

Plus, They already gave Miss High-and-mighty the boot . So, Bake sales and woman-power shrines won't even be the topic of discussion.

Poor Eddy. Irritable bladder syndrome does not a good first impression make ....

Katharyn, High five to less-mopey-Willow and that naughty vindictive brain of hers. LOL First she spreads the STD rumor to mess with Piggy-Parker and then suggests that Anya Google the Village People. Pretty soon the ex-demon will be adding Eddie to her list of people hot for her boy toy. Hope she doesn’t confront him with Buffy around or the guy might actually pee his pants and things aren’t looking too good for the Slayer’s love life as it is.

I know where Willow can get a bow!

Anya isn’t the only one needing a bit of internet researching; I had to look up hart. Geez, I have them in my yard on a daily basis so why didn’t I know that? Oh wait.. that word’s from the Old days and I just know them as Bambi, Rudolf, Vixen and.. LOL.

Tara is the perfect choice to lead the Wicca group. She’s growing more confident but isn’t quite ready to take such a huge step. What could possibly be the catalyst that puts Tara at the head of the group? Soon, Diana won’t be the only one in Sunnydale hunting harts/hearts!! I suspect Diana wants Tara to take responsibility for training the group, partly, because she knows there’s a certain witch about to enter the picture. Willow has more power than she realizes but that can go nine kinds of haywire without the ability to properly control it. Tara can lend a hand!

You ROCK! MORE Please!!!

Grimm, Re: Sister/Glory.. Great minds think alike so thanks for making me feel smart-- I agree, Love Cave-Buffy.. especially when she puts Parker’s lights out with the club! ---Spicey/Smart Kajun.

Missocki - I did once, for medical reasons, keep people hanging around for years in the middle of one of my stories. Never again! Now the whole thing is written and just needs redrafting and touching up before posting A part every 2 to 3 days lets me do that and get ahead of myself so... speedy by some people's standards! (Though the slower I go the longer people talk to me about it!)

Everyone seems to be much more interested in the group than I was!! Might have to think about that It's not that I exclude it, more that once they hook up other things tend to get in the way of me actually showing it! Though the group does have a purpose... I can probably tweek my way through that though.

I know what you mean about he Tara teaching Willow thing and I agree - though I hadn't put in quite those terms until you said so. I have to say that if she went bad - which she wouldn't - Tara could arguably be seen to be the more dangerous. Willow's dangerous if she gets angry, but those kinds of people burn themselves out. Tara? She'd think...

Good job she's not going bad! (And that's not a tease, she's really not!)

Thanks

Grimm - What does it say about my mind that I just come up with things like the Village People? Perhaps that I am older than some people here (though not that old) but also that I find innuendo and twists in virtually everything.

I take the point about cave-buffy and, in hindsight, maybe I should've gone there. But it's hard to write that stuff. So much of it is visual...

Hush? Okay. There are things I will not and cannot touch in a 'missing scenes' T/W story. There will be a shy smile. Spoiler alert. Oops, too late. Shy smile. Hair. That's your tease for now.

That may be the first time no one wondered if Eddie was going to be a big bad... Or dead. Progress!

Thanking you, Ma'am.

Kajun - Willow's not completely over the mopeyness, but she's about to move into a new phase... After all, Something Blue is coming up But yes, she has a creatively evil sense of humour that perhaps hasn't thought through the consequences...

You had to look up hart? Really? Colonial philistine... Where is my tweed?

Do you really think Tara should head the group? What about all the questions about what the group is for? Hmm? Or what Diana wants? Hmm? LOL Yes, now I am teasing...

More is coming, this is true.

Though... not sure I should be sharing what isn't yet a done deal (will need to be soon though...) I've been pushing myself to get well ahead in my redrafting (up to part 70 or so now) so that I can take November off from that and simply post parts. This is because I always intended to do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month - 50,000 word novel in a month.) That's not really a challenge to me in word numbers, I've done that every month I've been writing this but it was going to be a nice break from the story...

Anywho...

Umm... I've had a proposal to work with someone else (ex-board member) on a *COUGH* another Tara and Willow story. Oh. God. Help. Me. It's a very cool idea if we can break it in the next two days and be ready to go on 1st November (tight time frame...) If we are then my break from writing this might turn into another, shorter, T&W story...

Of course... it might not end at 50K words cos hey, I am wordy...

No promises as yet, but all I will say is... dum-da-da-dum, dum-da-da-dum-dum, dum-da-da-dum, dum-da-da-dum-dum, dum-da-dum-dum-da-da-dum...

Why do I put this pressure on myself and my poor fingerses?

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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A Willow/Tara Katharyn collaboration story?

Please don't make me revert back to the ritual stalking * coughs * ENCOURAGING.....

I hope you do it.

Well... after a half hour conversation and some attempt at a division of labour that seems to have ended up with me doing most of the writing... we're gonna try it. My personal opinion is that it's not very doable in 50,000 words. I've tried collaborations before and every great idea takes so much to set up that you end up ditching stuff to get through them. So the only choice may be to just go for it...

Of course the whole ethos of NanoWriMo (get out there and try it if you've never done it before and have a book in you) is to just write. Quality is something you worry about later and this is as good a topic as any to write on so... We'll be attempting that story... If it doesn't come off then nothing lost but if it does... could be a lot of fun to write.

And if my previous hint wasn't really clear enough (all that dum-da-da-dum etc) then...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sahZ-WOz ... _embedded#! (and guess what the music at 2.20 or so is for...)

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Indiana Jones!

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The kitten formerly known as SMGOVAN ~Official Head of Security for the Finey_McFine fan club. Ass whippings will be handed out liberally!

I'm just not sure you can shout "Rosenberg!" or "Maclay!" like you can "Jones!"

LOL

And fear not anyone who is reading this. I will not be distracted. Coulda. Woulda. Shoulda. comes first except this November. Posting will continue at the same speed. Redrafting is 50+ parts ahead of where you are reading now and will continue on December 1st... This mooted story won't show at least until I am done redrafting CWS and all that's left is polishes before posting.

You might imagine that, right now, my significant other is making her significance felt in supportingly disapproving ways...

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Eighteen
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: Anya recognises Diana and Tara meets someone looking for a recruit.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: The next chapter is the start of Hush (which will go on for a few parts… Sometimes it’s good to be wordy, eh?) I think I did want to give Anya something to do here too though, some expertise that might be useful one day.
Since this is the part before Hush starts, where they meet (no spoiler there) I’ve been wanting to set something up here; that they need to be together as much as they will want it anyway. Willow’s need is obvious, but by now you should be worried about Tara’s role alongside Diana. Perhaps she needs someone else in her life…? A new perspective?
However this is actually quite a difficult chapter because it requires Willow to flip out and try to make things happen that shouldn’t. I need her to get to a similar place to the episode and so had to give her something of a ‘relapse’. And thus, we get to the fact that not only will she want Tara, she will need her too. This is, of course, at the time of Something Blue. But without Spike because he got eaten. 
Thanks to: The people who run Nanowrimo, which as I post this is just about to start and I will be breaking off from redrafting this fic to take part in. Such fun if you’re a writer and especially if you’ve locked into a big old story for the past several months and just need to get out and do something slightly different. And for non-writers who have that one story in them… Yeah, go write a novel. Then if it’s Tara and Willow based, bring it to a safe place to share – i.e. here. Of course, having settled on doing another T/W fic for mine… I have my future mapped out!



Thanksgiving without Oz had been… hard.

Much as she might have objected to the historical reasons behind the holiday, Willow couldn’t really argue with the more modern purpose it was put to; to bring family and friends together. Even Giles had been able to get behind that, and he was British.

More than anything though, coming together that way, had just highlighted the dynamics that they’d slipped into as a group. Everyone had someone but her.

The Brit had some sort of liaison with Olivia, though he wasn’t admitting too much there. Nor had she been there for the celebration itself. Her flying – often not very dressed for very long – visits had all the hallmarks of a casual thing or friends with benefits.

But… No, Giles didn’t do casual. You couldn’t be casual in tweed. Tweed and casual were polar opposites. A better word for them might’ve been ‘intermittent’. When they were in the same place then they might hook up – kind of literally. Otherwise… Sorry, maybe I’m biased, but it just doesn’t have the feel to it of what he’d had with Jenny for those few, blissful weeks before…

He’d lost too – and with a terrible finality.

But he’d moved on, in new directions.

Buffy was little better. Things with Eddie were in slow-motion and that seemed to suit both of them. So she hadn’t invited him to the dinner, which probably would’ve been moving things along too fast for Eddie to handle.

Even if Buffy had expressed some frustrations at how things were going, she seemed happy taking it slow most of the time. At least after the disaster that was Parker. Otherwise she’d have done something about it, right?

The one girl in all the world had let something slip though and… yeah, she was starting looking for the ‘boy’ in boyfriend.

Xander and Anya didn’t count. They were just… strange. But they were together and strange. A couple. Whatever made them work kept them that way.

And then there’s me.

All alone in one way, but surrounded by friends in another… At the time it’d seemed great. It’d seemed like enough. It’d really felt like, right then, being alone hadn’t mattered because she hadn’t really been alone. But afterwards she’d started to turn her mind to how she was supposed to deal with this… this… being alone. And – as Buffy had said many times – her mind was a dangerous thing.

What got to her was being alone hadn’t been her choice and – right now – she wasn’t blaming herself for any contributing factors either. Oz and that slut had caused this. That was where it had all gone wrong and -

Why should they get away with that? If, indeed, little Miss Foot Fungus had gotten away? Oz… he’d driven off into the sunset, seeking self-control but leaving her behind.

Alone.

The thing was that she knew there were rituals. Rituals that would allow a sufficiently powerful individual to channel her will…

Thanksgiving had given her clarity. It’d given her the clarity to see that it was time that Oz understood what she was feeling. What he’d done to her.

Now she just needed access to some other books, a more precise list of ingredients than vague guesses and half-remembered suspicions. This definitely wasn’t the sort of thing you went off half-cocked on. Get this kind of spell wrong and –

“You have to call a meeting,” Anya said, pushing her way past Giles without apologising at all for the intrusion. Which was just rude.

That was Anya though.

Willow had come over early and caught Giles and Olivia still in bed. A smile and a wave had charmed her way into his private collection while the pair of them got up, showered and broke their fast. He trusted her enough to give her access to what she needed – trust she hated to violate – but she needed just the right spell… Just to make him understand what he’d done.

But now Anya was here, and that was an unexpected complication. Anya might be human now, but she had a background as a vengeance demon and possessed all of the memories and knowledge from those hundreds of years. Just because she seemed to have put it all behind her in favour of rampant consumerism and lust didn’t mean that she couldn’t put together what Willow was planning.

And then everyone would try to stop her because if there was one thing Anya couldn’t do it was keep her mouth closed.

“A meeting, really?” Giles said. Willow peered down on them from the balcony, judging Anya’s mood and finding her presence actually wanted. This wasn’t something that she’d seen before. Was that really… worry?

“Yes. A meeting. You’ll want to use the phone.”

“What is it?” Willow asked, drawing attention to herself.

“The small thing you dial and someone at the other end picks up,” Anya said, brushing her off. “But that’s not important right now.”

“No,” Willow said, knowing they should never have rented Airplane and shown it to so literal a person. Anya had really thought it was a drama. “I mean what’s the problem.”

“Artemis is here.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Artemis is here. Diana. The Goddess of the Hunt.”

“Sorry, the Goddess of the what now?” Xander asked, dashing in through the open door in her wake. “Honey, that’s a bad, bad word that we don’t say - ”

“Hunt. Hunt,” Anya said. “With an H.”

“Ohhh,” he said. “When you mentioned the lesbians, I thought maybe… No, never mind. Hi, Will. Giles.”

“So I’m calling a meeting of who now?” Giles asked rhetorically, since nearly everyone was here already. “And… How do you know Artemis is here anyway?”

“Perhaps because I’ve seen her – Wait. ‘How do I know this?’ You’re not even surprised are you?” Anya’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Could it be that they’d neglected to tell her?

“We – ah, Willow?” Giles passed the buck.

“We – we heard someone was claiming to be her,” Willow said. “Operative word ‘claim.’ Someone gave something to Buffy and said that it had been taken by - ”

“Never mind that,” Anya interrupted her. “You were told one of the old Gods was here and you didn’t tell me?”

“Umm… Giles?” She was all out of dodges.

“We – we weren’t certain that there was any validity to what she was saying, we might as well believe Zeus was up on College Hill, tossing fireballs during that storm last week.”

Anya shook her head. “You better hope not, no one’s seen him for as long as I’ve been – for as long as I was in the vengeance business. Longer actually. No one remembered it then. But there are one or two still with us, still here… I was introduced to her by my old boss. But Artemis is one of the most obvious. She never even bothers to hide herself like the others.”

“Sounds like Buffy will be a shoe short,” Willow mused.

“Shoe?” Anya asked.

“Nothing… So you know her?”

“I’ve seen her before,” Anya said. “We hadn’t actually spoken until last night. It was very awkward.”

“You spoke?”

“Actually, that was mostly me…” Xander said, obviously embarrassed. “In my defence, I didn’t know who or what she was either.”

“You’re lucky you’re still wearing your skin,” Anya told him. “All that smooth skin – did you know I’ve made Xander shave his - ”

“Please don’t - ”

“It’s much more hygienic - ” Anya said, interrupting the interruption to share.

“Tell us,” the older man completed. “Please don’t tell us. The point is that you know Artemis is here?”

“Yes! That’s what I’ve just been telling you! Weren’t you listening to me?”

“Where were you?” Giles asked. “It might prove useful to establish what she’s actually doing here, the areas that she’s been frequenting.”

Anya waved that off. “She goes where she will. She always has.”

“But - ”

“We were in the woods,” Xander admitted before Giles needed to make the argument, though he seemed embarrassed by the fact. “At the picnic area.”

“What were you doing?”

Willow chose that moment to come down the stairs, just so she didn’t have to see their faces as the inevitable was admitted. So far this was a big whoop. Not… Anya had just ‘confirmed’ what had already been claimed. So far as a vengeance demon – an ex-vengeance demon – was concerned Artemis or Diana was here.

That was the same as that other girl – the one with the ring - had told Buffy. So they had some sort of confirmation but no reason, nothing to actually worry about apart from a general wariness of ‘the other.’

“We were trying it al fresco,” Anya said brightly, just in case they hadn’t gotten the idea.

“Of course you were…” Giles was shaking his head.

“And it was a cool morning,” Anya added. “I had to help him warm up. In hindsight, first thing in the morning we should probably just have gone in the shower. We always enjoy - ”

“And what did you say, Xander?” Giles groped desperately for something that was back on the topic.

“I… may have insinuated that she should say something rather than stand there watching,” Xander said.

“She was watching you?”

“No, not actually… but her dogs were. They were big dogs and suddenly… I didn’t feel like a big man, when there were big dogs.”

“So you accused a Goddess of being a voyeur?” Willow managed to summon the enthusiasm to actually check. This wasn’t what they were supposed to be doing right now. Important business with the restricted, dark, spell books thank you very much. But… she could see maybe this was important too.

“I would’ve,” Xander replied, “if I could’ve remembered the word ‘voyeur’. I think I probably called her a pervert. Her and her dogs. All perverts.”

“Didn’t you consider that this might be a possible consequence of going ‘al fresco’ as you so delicately put it?” Giles asked, probably wishing that he hadn’t bothered.

“Oh, yeah, it was practically guaranteed that an ancient Goddess and her giant hounds would happen along. That’s why I had such a great speech all worked out.”

Anya, unlike Xander, didn’t seem all that put out by events. She was more concerned by the identity of the ‘voyeur’ rather than the fact there had been one at all. “I told you not to worry,” she said, “she’s seen it all.”

“She has now.”

Willow looked to Giles, just wanting to drag this conversation past all this… well, all this ‘Anya’ really. They were of a mind in that. “What can you tell us about her?” Giles asked.

“She didn’t try to take Xander from me.”

“Naturally,” Willow said. “Not now she’d seen it all.”

“Hey! I could totally be a Goddess’ boy toy. And… other things I should be offended by.”

“He could,” Anya said supportively. “But… not that one. She’s famously chaste. Always was.”

“Yes,” Giles offered. “Artemis was also the Goddess of Virgins, in addition to the Hunt.”

“One of the titles she took rather more seriously than some of the others,” Anya said. “She gathered them to her.”

“As sacrifices?” Xander wondered. “It always seemed to go rough on the girls who just said ‘no’. Fed to monsters and everything. Seems to me like, back then, you’d do whatever you could get rid of it as fast as possible. Given the alternatives, I mean.”

“No,” Anya said. “Sacrifice was never one of her things.”

“So… what did she do with them? These virgins?”

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Anya said. “You don’t have to sound so worried, you’re not one anymore.” She beamed, as if that was her personal contribution to their efforts.

“And we all knew that,” Willow said. They all knew that Anya hadn’t had anything to do with it either. But mentioning that would be… bad.

“Even if we didn’t want to.”

“Hey!” Xander said. “Excuse me for being a little nervous about mistaken identity or something. But I’ve been a virgin sacrifice before, sort of… remember Mantis Lady?”

“How could we forget…?” Giles asked. “But Anya’s quite right, Diana was reputed to be the guardian of those who served her, protecting them from… well, all things.”

“‘Things’ being the operative word,” Anya said.

“Eww.”

“No, Willow,” Giles said. “The world was – and is in many places – a harsher place than we recognise today. The consequences of warfare and conquest for women on the losing side usually involved slavery and rape if they survived. And in many ways the modern concept of marriage didn’t exist in those days. Love was in no way a requirement. Girls – usually much younger than the men – were traded frequently for favours and political or economic gain. To have someone, anyone who protected you from those things, would’ve been something worthy of a form of worship. Do you see?”

“So anyone who was wanting to escape that…?” Willow wondered.

“I can imagine her temples must’ve seemed like a sanctuary and – at least some of the time – those temples would’ve been sacrosanct, no matter what else was happening,” Giles confirmed.

“Not as often as you’d think,” Anya said. “I was always told that we did good business in those days. But things didn’t change much for a long time. The thing with the Gods and Goddesses though was that they needed belief and when one of their temples was violated they… reacted badly, that’s true. But they also turned on each other, tried to remove their competition by making their rival appear less powerful than them.”

“So… wait,” Willow said, “back up. If we needed to – and I’m not saying we do – if we needed to get rid of Diana then we just have to stop believing in her?”

Xander pointed, “Good idea, Will. Will that work?”

“It suppose it might,” Giles said. “I don’t think there’s much in the literature about the impact of mass belief on the ancient Gods though.”

“How can you not believe in her?” Anya asked. “We saw her, I told you she exists. Not believing in that makes you delusional.”

“Hmm,” Giles said. “Quite a quandary.”

“Well,” Willow reminded them, “we don’t know that we need to do anything about her yet. I mean… it’s not like she’s a vampire or some big bad is it?”

“What do you mean?” Anya asked.

“Well, just because she’s here we don’t have to kick her ass do we? We’re not opposed to everything supernatural regardless of what it does – or doesn’t – do?”

“How are you going to kick a Goddess’ ass anyway?” Anya asked.

“I don’t want to,” Willow said. “That’s the point. What I’m asking is whether we could just… live and let live. For once. Just for novelty value, if nothing else?”

“I’d recommend it,” Anya said. “And if you don’t then you’re not taking Xander and I’m not coming either. I like his skin intact.”

“Which brings us back to where we started,” Giles said before that could go any further.

With Anya’s message delivered and the pair of them helping themselves to the contents of Giles’ refrigerator, the victim of their hunger turned to her. “It’s good to see you back to something like yourself, Willow. We were all worried about you.”

“I’m still not… right.” That was the best way she could think to put it. If they hadn’t walked in then she’d have had her nose in a book, looking for what she needed to get… even. It wasn’t revenge. Not exactly. It was just sharing the understanding with the cause of her pain. That was all.

“Of course you’re not, but… Willow, all you can do is take one day at a time and eventually you start to find other things in life help keep the thoughts and feelings further and further into the background. They won’t go away, but they will become less dominant… more and more so as time passes.”

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to when Angel… You know.” She didn’t want to say it. It still hurt her too. Miss Calendar had been… She hadn’t been like a teacher.

“It’ll get better,” Giles said. “I promise you.”

Unlike the others, he had the experience that she could believe in and – at least for now – the thoughts about how she could change things receded from her mind. Maybe this loss really was something she just had to go through.

Bad as it was.

-----------------

“My Lady Huntress.”

The little demon shrunk to its knees before Diana, caught in the woodland circle that it had been summoned to. Jupiter and Callisto lay at ease to either side of him, heads on paws and unconcerned as he flashed into existence. They recognised the circle for what it was, an impenetrable prison for at least as long as her concentration lasted.

Tara was a little behind Diana … She hadn’t missed the fact that she’d been placed at her right hand, so to speak. Even though that title wasn’t something she’d accepted.

Or turned down. Diana kept trying to give her power and position but… somehow it just didn’t sit right. Mostly because she didn’t understand how it would work, what Diana wanted her to do. But the Goddess wasn’t big on the small print.

‘Big on the small print.’ That was almost a joke.

“D’Hoffryn,” Diana said.

“You honour me simply by speaking my name,” he bowed even though he was already on his knees. Though ‘he’ was only a guess. He appeared male, spoke with a male sounding voice, but at the end of the day he was a demon and there might be no telling how that worked. Could easily be like dwarves and who could tell what was under the beard?

Somehow… he reminded her more of one of the things off Donny’s Star Wars lunch-box though.

“You bow and scrape as well as ever you did.”

“Thank you, my Lady. I do try to maintain standards in all things and it’s ss valuable a skill in these days as much as the ones that are past.”

“Your purpose here?” Diana asked bluntly.

“I had no idea that you had claimed this place,” he said agreeably. “I will leave at once.”

“Your purpose?” she asked again, not sounding like she’d be willing to ask a third time.

Tara had to admit that she was impressed by the deference that this creature showed to Diana. Especially since he wasn’t ‘without power’, those had been Diana’s words of caution. Perhaps she was losing something in the translation from Diana’s strange ways of speaking, but he sounded like… Well, he sounded like demon management.

Middle management to be more precise. Which probably didn’t make it a surprise that he knew how to brownnose and prostrate himself. You could easily imagine that human, corporate politics might seem ruthless, but the penalties for failure were probably much less severe.

“I’ve recently lost one of mine,” he said. “In this very town. I was forced to strip her of her powers but then I detected another, about to carry out a very powerful magic. One of those spells that alerts us to its existence and… highlights the qualified candidates.”

“For?”

“Vengeance, my lady.”

“Ah… I thought I saw your Anyanka earlier. It was difficult to tell she was under some mortal. But you stripped her?”

“She is still here, my Lady. Infatuated with some mortal as you mentioned. But it is another that I have my eye on now. Unless, of course, you do claim this place?” He sounded hopeful that wasn’t the case.

“Not… yet,” Diana said.

Tara wondered what that meant. There seemed to be some significance to the act of ‘claiming; one that went beyond mere possession. D’Hoffryn seemed to set a lot of store by it as well. “If it helps, she is no virgin. Spurned by her lover. Hardly a candidate for one of yours. Nor is she with child.”

“Yet she has power?”

He nodded and turned it into more of a bow when he recognised the interest that gave Diana.

“Then you will leave her be. For now.”

“Yes, my Lady, though it is the way of things that if I leave her now then her thirst for vengeance and for control will wane… She is unlikely to become mine.”

“So then you ask me to… hurry?”

Tara winced on his behalf.

“Of course not, My Lady. I was merely commenting that she will ever be available to you once her anger cools. Of course she is ever available to you now… for all that she does not fall within the types who typically flock to your embrace.”

“You flirt with danger, demon. My embrace and my interest are outside of your concern.”

“Such was not my intent, my Lady.”

“She will come to me if she is destined to do so. Otherwise she will be yours, but you will not recruit her to your cause until she has made her own, free choice.”

“Understood, my Lady. May I withdraw?”

“Of course. Tara?”

“Yes?” She was surprised to actually be addressed as part of the conversation. Tara had assumed that her role was to observe and be silent and – actually – she had found it fascinating. It was another side to demons, one that she’d never been told about. That they recruited was no surprise, but that they were then… managed by someone who wouldn’t have been that out of place on nearly any TV show set in an office hierarchy?

“The circle.”

Oh. Yes, the circle was hers… Perhaps Diana could have broken it, but she’d established it and it was her will that was binding D’Hoffryn to this place. No doubt if she’d tried to summon him alone he’d have been less understanding. Either that or he might’ve tried to recruit her, but it sounded like he needed some sort of strong emotion to work with to do that. Or maybe that was just something picked up in the interview process.

“Sorry,” she stretched out her foot and broke the line that had been drawn. The demon nodded to her, but didn’t vanish immediately. Instead he politely took his leave. “My Lady.”

Then he was gone.

“A good circle,” Diana said, as if that was the most important thing that had just happened. But of course this was part of her lessons, the things that Diana wanted to test she knew, or wanted to teach her so she could pass those along. But a circle, set to summon and control a demon, ran so contrary to what she’d always been told that…

She didn’t think she could do that. Not alone. Definitely somewhere else than Sunnydale where everything was just… easier.

“Thank you.”

“That one is not especially dangerous. His power lies more in his ability to read you, understand your heart at that moment and make a contract that will take you to his service. Be cautious around him, especially when off your balance.”

“I will,” Tara promised. In fact she firmly intended to never call him to any circle that she made again. That was about as careful as she could be. “Who – who is she?”

“Who?”

“The-The one D’Hoffryn was hoping to recruit?”

Diana shrugged slightly. “I do not know, the point was that everyone and everything here with any power is mine now… I may not have claimed this place as my own, but there are limits and boundaries. He will spread the word and confrontations will be fewer because of it.”

Tara nodded, thinking that might somehow be a good thing. But had Diana just ‘claimed’ her too?

Or had that happened some weeks or months ago now?

And what did it mean if she had?

Why, if she was asking questions, was the Goddess even here? She still had no answer to that. Mostly, perhaps, because she hadn’t dared to ask.

*********************

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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Another great update!

So I'm assuming Willow hasn't done the spell yet, but she could?
Either way, Tara and Willow are going to meet soon! Yay for us Kttens! It will be interesting how Things will happen because of the changes in the group and Tara seems to be a bit braver and is in a position of power within the group, even if she hasn't accepted it fully yet.
I'm so excited!

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"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." -Rose Franken
"I think when I cease to go to the bathroom, then I can call myself famous." -Amber Benson
"I'd rather be a fake lesbian than a sorority girl."- A Rugby Teammate
"The Hammer is my Penis," Captain Hammer, 'Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog.'

I was a little worried about this part, Missocki, because the 'flip' isn't that clear especially when she doesn't go through with it. But no, the spell has not been done. She didn't - actually - get it fully researched. So the whole 'my will' spell from Something Blue has not happened. Also, fortunately, she was distracted and now sees she shouldn't have done it!

But yeah, she could... with a little reading. Trouble is she still doesn't know how wrong that can go either.

The next part is where the girls meet and I love that moment so much that the whole chapter (aside from musing on their progression to that point) is about approximately 10 seconds of actual time. Maybe half a minute.

Then you'll be saying you want more than that moment

Well, good... it's coming soon.

Thanks so much.

Katharyn

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If I wanted a little pussy, I've got my own to play with.

Chance in *Chance*
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