THREE WORDS

[the vamp nurd]

Well tan my hide and call me a cowgirl...

Jealousy in not a good thing.



'Tara-paws'



P.S. Jennpurr - lovely AV.

Sorry I missed church, I was busy becoming a lesbian and worshiping Satan



Open up Pandora's kiss.



Bardlet no #27

[intricate mirage]

I just started reading this fic and already I'm in

Bad... bad.. Willow can't be that blind. She has to know something is up. She needs a little to wake up and I'm hoping that's sometime real soon



By the way, great fic you got going on here!

~ Cas



---

"You're something beautiful, a contradiction.

I wanna break the spell that you've created."

© Muse

[snuggle79]

hello there,



this was sooo heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for Tara, i wanted to hug her all the time, while reading this. *sigh*

Willow!!! Such a bright girl..but the Tara-file is a big "huh" for her, right?! She just doesn't see it.

It's quite frustrating. I love this story and can't wait for your next update!

Oh and yeah, that line from moulin rouge is my favourite line from the movie. It sums it up pretty much up, right?

Maybe i'm wrong but i think it kinda fits to this story, don't you think?

Great update!

snuggle79

This is how everyday should end and start ..and all the stuff in the middle

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[sam darls]

Oh my god..that was incredibly sad and really amazing too...just the emotions throughout..something similar kinda is happening to me too, so it really makes sense..and Sleek, you're very welcome- for your previous reply to me. Thank you Love sammi xx

[Mix]

Sleek,



Brilliant. You manage to get so much emotion through with very little actually said. I love it.

Think I may be going a bit mad though because I actually quite like the cliffhangers *G*



I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.



Mix

_____________


Proud member of the Nancy Tribe!

[willow fan7]

Dear Sleek,



Wonder wonderful writing!!! You capture Tara's emotion so well!!!



I really really love Willow, but how can she not see what Tara feels for her???!!! TI's so painfully clear!!!

ARGH!! Hate Oz, all his fault. Give him a huge



But love the angst, keep it coming!!!

[justin]

This is a great story. I was at things like Willow the pooh, Tara-paws and Willow as a Powerpuff girl.



But what a way to end the last part more soon please

Anya in a wimple...I'd pay full admission for that. Gods Served And Abandoned - by Antigone Unbound


You know the worst thing about people in a relationship? The fact that they're in a relationship. - Hilda Spellman

[screeminguitar]

I am totally luvn' this story. You give so much character to our girls it's great!



BRAVO!!



Marie

[barnabasvamp]

Sleek!! First you leave us hanging, then you turn around and add the angst



Hopefully Willow will start to get the message soon??

BV

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before"-Mae West

[LostWithoutTara]

Hey Sleek!



Just read the last two updates, and they're wonderful, in a really rip-your-heart-out-of-your-chest-and-stomp-on-it way. I eagerly await more and hope Willow realises how much she and Tara belong together soon.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[Arwen276]

Sleek! this is just so sad!

Poor Tara, and HOW CAN WILLOW BE SO BLIND!!





GUESS We have to wait til college huh?







~Arwen



ps: MORE SOON! I LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE.

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[Hanki]

it made me cry. this is a good thing. amazing, simply amazing. more soon?

~ Han ~


"the fatal flaw of 'Who's Gurkhan?' was that nobody cared who he was as long as Gabrielle kept dancing in that skimpy outfit..." ~ me on Xena season six ep 'Who's Gurkhan.'

[Tempest Duer]

Sleek, this was a wonderful update. It was insanely frustrating for several reasons, all of which have most likely already been posted by other people who got to your update more quickly than I did. But it was a nice read. I'm looking forward to more... and seeing if you read my ficcie...

Choosing not to decide is still a choice.

[bluewillowwitch]

Sleek ,

OMG! No, you can't do that! I love this fic! & must be together! I know they will be but come on! is breaking 's heart. I can't wait to more and see what you have for us. Update soon, please?







bluewillowwitch

---------------------------------------------

"Fate keeps on happening."--Anita Loos

[SJ]

Great update

Hope Tara does pluck up the courage to tell Willow how she feels.

[Little M]

This story has me sitting on the edge of my seat. Wow!

How can anyone be so blind??? But then again Willow always was a bit dense....



Anyway, hope you will continue soon!

------------------

'I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad..it's depressing' - Tara



Amber Online www.amberbenson-online.cjb.net

[allykat]

Brilliant!!!



Maybe I'm a masochist, but I just LOVE angst...

Update soon, pretty please???

[Sleek]

Dear Kittens,



Just a quickie update. I will make individual replies soon. I just want you to know how much your feedback drives me to write even in the face of deadlines and lousy computers.



Appreciation is the fuel of my weary soul. Thank you sooo much.



Sleek



==



THREE WORDS

Part 5

By Sleek



Alex turned up the collar of his coat as he ploughed through the chilly night air. He glanced at his wristwatch that was two sizes big for him and quickened his pace.



He was only three blocks away from the place where he works when he saw a flash of molten gold, trailing behind a woman's face like a billowing cape. His legs froze in mid stride.



He knew that blonde hair anywhere. He had spent hours looking at the back of her head two seats behind in Geometry.



Tara.



His heart stopped as he saw the tears staining the girl's ivory cheeks.



Her sobs made her body tremor like a sad violin string. She was too absorbed in running away from her inner ghosts that she smashed straight into the bony shoulder of Alex.



***



A sharp rock seemed to jab my nose.



"Ow!"



Clutching my nose, I looked up and met a pair of worried, muddy-brown eyes.



"Alex. What're you—"



"You're hurt."



I nodded my head at his understatement. I'm hurt all right. All over. Like I just got hit by a mack truck and dragged across a bed of knives. Only worse. A hundred times worse.



"Here, let me put some ice on that bloody nose. Geez, that sounds so British. Bloody nose."



He chuckled at his own joke and led me forward.



"Where are you taking me?" I said feebly. I'm so exhausted all of the sudden and honestly didn't care if I was being led to the Bermuda triangle to disappear forever.



Oblivion would be my savior. Anything that would make me stop feeling is my friend.



I turned numbly at Alex as we stepped inside a crowded place fogged with cigarette smoke and jukebox music.



"This is the Blue Bar. Just the bar to fix your blues," Alex said leading me to the wooden, varnished counter. "I'm the assistant bar tender here and if you so kindly would sit on one of the premium stools, a glass of ice will be served to you on a silver coaster."



I wiped my damp face with the sleeve of my sweater and tried to smile at his attempt to cheer me up. But how could anything cheer me up now?



The soulful voice of a saxophone became the chorus of my heart. I glanced at the small, round stage where a stout, black man pressed his lips around a saxophone and poured his heart out into the mouthpiece. He worked his fingers slowly, weaving a string of rich notes that seeped into the pores of my skin.



If I were in a better mood, I would've liked this place.



"You're lucky. Black Jelly is the best blues player of Sunnydale, and he only plays here twice a year." Alex said as he set down a glass of water in front of me. He placed his fingers under my chin.



"Well, your nose stopped bleeding," he said, pressing an ice pack against my sore spot. "But I'm putting you under observation in my ward until I diagnose the cause of that frown on your face."



Frown. In Willow-code that would be frowny-frown-frown. I smiled as I pictured how Willow's lips would quirk upon saying frowny-frown-frown adorably like nobody else can.



"There, wasn't so hard to smile a bit right?"



My attention turned back to Alex and was suddenly reminded that I was running away because Willow hurt me. She'd rather be with Oz than be with me.



"Hey, you're getting teary eyed again. Tara, what's wrong?"



The genuine concern in his voice made me pause in my thoughts. But I need something that would put a stop to all of this pain. Willow is my best friend. Her happiness is more important than my petty self-pity. Tomorrow, I should wear a brave face and just be sincerely happy for her and Oz.



"Alex, can you do me a favor?"



"Anything."



"I-I know I'm not supposed to…umm but….I'm just a few months shy of my eighteenth birthday, and I need something to…drink," I crinkled my brows, hoping he would understand my request without me having to spell it out.



"The glass of water is just beside you, Tara. You can drink that," Alex said. His expression told me that he was fully aware of my request but wasn't going to give in.



I pouted.



"Please Alex, you can't imagine how much I need to forget what I'm feeling right now. It's not good to dwell on things you can never have." I slid the glass of water across the counter and put it in his hand. "Do you have something strong and alcoholic? What do you drink when you want to brood and forget?"



Alex sighed but took my water glass away as if it was the last thing he wanted to do. When he faced me he had an undecipherable expression on his face.



"I drank a whole case of beer to make me forget about you. It didn't work."



"Alex…I'm—"



"I know you're sorry. But it’s not your fault. I chose to feel this way, not you. Besides," he shrugged. "That's the way the game of love works. You win some, you lose some. Nothing personal."



As I stared into his muddy-brown eyes it struck me how similar our situation is, and how insensitive I must have been now that I know what it feels like to love someone who doesn't love you back.



I never wanted to hurt Alex, just as I know Willow didn't intentionally hurt me. But in the game of love, someone is bound to get hurt. Nobody willed it to happen, it just does. Because you have to make choices and those choices won't always make everyone giddy.



Willow made her choice. Alex made his choice. And it is my choice to feel this way, nobody else's.



I squared my shoulders with renewed purpose.



"Thank you, Alex," I smiled. My first genuine smile that the night. "Can I at least have some fruity, slightly alcoholic drink before I go?"



"I know I'm going to regret this," he said as he mixed a drink for me, "but what the heck, it's just one drink."



***



After downing my fourth Mai Tai, Alex and I were swapping stories like fellow truck drivers.



"You mean, you can't get over someone? Is it impossible?" I leaned heavily on the counter as the world pleasantly teetered sideways.



"You take it one day at a time," Alex said sagely. "You can never totally forget the person you love, they stay with you always. But soon you will be able to let go of the attachment and allow the person to grow, move free, even without you."



"Even without me," I repeated as if it was the most important formula I need to memorize for a big exam.



"Then, after letting go, you'll find out the reason why you had to go through all this hell." Alex said as he took a swig from his beer.



"Why?"



"To mold your heart," Alex whispered to his beer bottle, "to cut you in the exact shape so you will complement the person who fits you perfectly.”



"The person who fits me perfectly," I whispered as I looked at my hand and realized anew how it fit the spaces between Willow's fingers perfectly. Like the sky meeting the sea in the horizon. No empty spaces in between.



I complete her. She completes me. I'm being cut to pieces right now so I can fit her more perfectly, so she wouldn't slide off and flounder into another the next time.



"To the biggest love fool of this planet," I slurred as I raised my glass to Alex's beer bottle.



"No, I'm the biggest love fool God has ever created," Alex insisted as our drinks clinked upon contact.



"I'm more hopeless Alex," I said after finishing my fifth drink. "I'm a gay girl in love with my straight best friend."



"You lose, big time," Alex giggled silly. "You see, I'm the straight guy, in love with a gay girl, who's in love with her straight best friend."



"All right, for that crooked tale of yours fit for Oprah, you win this round," I said and motioned for a refill.



"Damn straight," Alex puffed as he poured me another drink.



***

TBC (Willow will found out why Tara wasn't in school the next day. What do you think will happen? )

[LostWithoutTara]

A very charming update. . Again, I feel so much for Tara and her situation, and I suppose also for Alex. Unrequited love sucks . Here's hoping Tara's affection becomes requited very soon...

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[Sleek]

Partial Replies

==

Part 5 is up. Here are some of my replies. more to come!



Washi

it's good to cry every once in a while. I find it cleanses my soul. Thanks for feeling the heartbreak as much as I did.



Jen

I don't want anything bad to happen to Tara, Mutant Enemy already did that. I had to end with a cliffy because I'm not so sure how will the readers keep reading my stuff. Thank you for absorbing this emotionally because it is my own emotions that's been running between the pages. And oh, you don't have to beg, update is here.



Jenamber

Willow was dense to refuse the doll's eye crystal from Tara in the BtVS series. I wanted to her too. Thank you for reading this.



WintersDreamer

Update is here, now only if it's a happy one. Not sure, you see.



Red Jassy

"its like your heart is being wretched out of you and be stumped on.. and on.. ugh. pure torture." Yup, life isn't always hugs an puppies. I love angst too, in manageable doses. Thank you for finding the angst realistic, maybe that's why you love Evanescence.



Sappho

Willow less dense? She will be. Just give her time to thaw. Or maybe get a life-threatening jolt?



Marie

Thank you for the heart-thumping feedback.



the vamp nurd

Hello cow girl Jealousy is a fond fiend.

[Arwen276]

I'm so giddy to find out!!



I so badly want them together!

You so amazingly write it well!

and ummm I'm so eager for an update!!!



Oh and get there already!



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[Tempest Duer]

That was cute! ...in a sad sort of way... I loved the little bit of one-upping at the end there.

Choosing not to decide is still a choice.

[hot monkey luv 66]

hey there! i've g2 say I'm <3'n it!!! keep up the good work and get to the and smoochies!! soon please! update also soon! lol great job!

~~**Monkey Luv**~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow:"I'm a breast gal myself...(quieter, to Tara), but then again, you knew that..."

Tara:"Until I realized that was her yummy face"

Willow: "There's something between us. It-it wasn't something I was looking for. It's just powerful."

[maudmac]

Aww, Sleek, this is beautiful. Anyone please feel free to slap me for neglecting to leave feedback until now.



You know, I think it's really hard to pull off a first person POV like this, but you are doing a perfect job. I feel like I'm really in Tara's head, in her heart, thinking and feeling everything she does.



Thanks! I can't wait to read more.

---

I have often been adrift, but I have always stayed afloat.    --  David Berry,  The Whales of August

[Sleek]

part 5 is still up. here's another batch of replies for PART 4.



==





Cas

"Willow can't be that blind." Unfortunately, sometimes she is. But there will be an illuminating invisible ray soon. Thanks for the feedback.



snuggle79

"Willow!!! Such a bright girl..but the Tara-file is a big 'huh' for her, right?!" I agree with you here snuggle. And yes the Moulin Rouge is perfect for this story. Loving someone is a lesson in itself, being loved back is another. Thank you for the inspiring line.



sammi

"something similar kinda is happening to me too…" Well, whatever is happening to you I wish in the end you will be the one you love. everybody deserves to be loved.



Mix

Hey You replied in "Finding You," I remember. And you're that minx in Wicca Chicca's fic—the owner of the bar in Futopia. You have quite a striking name, and judging from the thoughtful feedback you leave, quite a character. Thank you for the shiny shimmery feedback.



willow fan7

Thank you We both love Willow but in BtVS it took her also a while to realize she is more than 'kinda gay' Again thank you for the lovely feedback.



justin

So you like Willow-the-Pooh and Tara-paws? Well W/T are the kind of couple that I think would come up with silly, endearing pet names for each other besides 'baby' or 'vixen.' They're so quirky! Thanks for this!



Marie

You posted twice, it must be love Hehe…Thank you for the giggle inducing feedback.



BV

Hey, here's a message we all like to give , she better give a soon. But keepin in line with my plot, that won't happen—yet.



LostWithoutTara

"Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay," sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Did that make sense? I hope so.



Arwen

"GUESS We have to wait til college huh?" Perceptive of you. The friendship is on the line here. So when she finally says those three words, both are ready to hear it. "I LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE.: Aww, shucks…



Hanki

here's a flower and a . Thanks!



Tempest Duer

"insanely frustrating" I like that . Thank you for the heartfelt feedback . And when I have more time with my PC soon, expect me in your thread.



Grace

Let me see is still dense and is still wallowing. Oh, what shall I do? I'm such a sadist but I promise the angst is worth the sweetness.



SJ

Thank you



Little M

It's the super guinea pig The edge of your seat, huh? Such a pleasure to know that. Thank you, thank you



allykat

No you're not a masochist, you're keeping it real. Pain and love makes us real. Thank you for warming me with your kind words.

[Draco119]

Poor Tara! I can relate to loving someone who has no idea that you feel that way. I've been there...done that. I hope Willow opens her eyes and realizes soon that is in love with her. Update soon.

[Red Jassy]

Hey..

love the update.

Another Sad part, but at least tara understood that she has to go through this torture to mold herself perfectly for willow. But isn't she already perfect for Willow. It's just that willow isn't aware of that fact at the moment.



you're probably right about me liking Evanescence.

Thanks again for your fic

humble reader,

Red Jassy

---

Cause you were made for me/Somehow I'll make you see/How happy you make me


I can't live this life/Without you by my side/I need you to survive
So stay with me/You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside/that I'm sorry. » Evanescence

[intricate mirage]

Hey Sleek!



Oohh illuminating invisible ray soon? **rubs hands in gleeful anticipation** Can't wait for that! The conversation between her and Alex was kinda cute. Especially the last part. But poor Tara... drinking her sorrows away this way. You write the story from Tara's pov really well. Can feel exactly what's going through her head and heart. Keep up the great work!

~ Cassie

---

My fountain of strength that never runs dry

You are the shooting star across the midnight sky

[SJ]

Glad Tara talked to Alex about it. Maybe now she'll tell Willow how she feels about her.

Great update

Edited by: SJ at: 10/14/03 1:03 am

[snuggle79]

woah, Tara being drunk and having the blues with Alex...poor thing. But I like him and their conversation was sweet.

Oh Gosh, this story brings back some sad memories

from school.

Tara didn't go to school the day after, huh?

Now I'm curious to see Willow's reaction!!

Great update!

Oh and btw, you're welcome, always a pleasure to inspire!

snuggle79

This is how everyday should end and start ..and all the stuff in the middle

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

Edited by: snuggle79 at: 10/14/03 1:51 am