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New Fic: Darkness Falls

Willow and Tara live happy together in a place untouched by Mutant Enemy. This is a forum for Willow and Tara Fan Fiction (i.e. fan fiction, top 10s, etc...) Please read the content advisories on individual stories, read at your own discretion.

Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby VampNo12 » Sat Aug 17, 2002 5:08 pm

First Kris again I give you hugs, I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with what your friend is going through, but I am glad you were able tell her what you needed to say. As for the update it was indeed intense, dark, but very riveting! I liked "strong/resolve" Tara repeating ("I can do this. I can do this".) at various pivotal moments (ie the mantra giving her the strength to actually leave the limo/especially liked the fact that the simple sound of crickets gave her resolve to move, how horrifying the "shadow/darkness" of the creatures enveloped her, as well as the intensity of the magick surrounding the house, but she still walked into the house, and etc). In other words, at each stage Tara had an opening/a chance to flee, but instead "For Willow" (as well as the rest of the gang), she "stays the course" (ie to kill these people, knowing she too would probably die in the process).



It's interesting how Tara was prepared to die, but wasn't prepared to deal/see what her "darkness" did to these creatures. And the words ("A spider in a web") was haunting. Meaning, at first the creatures over-estimated Tara's power, which resulted in their fury, as well as their deaths. But then with the dart hitting Tara (with her desperate resolve to fight the effects to reach the door), I really felt the "darkness"/danger with Madrine's words reverberating in Tara's ears ("You, Tara Maclay... you are the fly".). With this in mind, the trap has been set, and I can't wait to see what happens next!



VampNo12
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby xita » Sat Aug 17, 2002 6:55 pm

Oh I had a feeling these things wanted Willow as soon as Tara noticed the amount of magic required to keep up the facade. There would be a tremendous need for Willow's kind of power. Oh Tara...

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

xita
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby KrisBo5 » Sat Aug 17, 2002 9:28 pm

Tulipp: I am doing okay, thanks. Kind of resigned, I guess. Your deconstruction of the “For my Willow” statement is dead-on. In not such an intense way I wanted to get Tara to the point where she would use her magic like Willow did after Glory hurt her; at the same time, I wanted to try to show the edge Tara was riding, not black magic exactly, not vengeance exactly, but a combination of them both, wrapped up in her love and self-sacrifice. “For my Willow,” or the repetition of those words, was her way of getting her through and pulling her back. I think I’m babbling, so. . . have a good time on vacation!



vmpIrsIAs: Working. On. It. Fastly.



4WiccanLuv: Hey, you! Thanks. Glad you’re enjoying the story still. Scary demons and that damn Fonce! “Pow, to the moon!” And, yeah, Tara gettin’ out woulda been a tad too easy. . . well, she’s in for the long haul now, eh?



VampNo12: Thank you for the hugs, they are muchly appreciated. And again with all the fab-u feedback. I tried to use the “I can do this” mantra as her reinforcement, cause I still see Tara as a little shy(though she is a bit outgoing in my fic); it’s how she boosts herself up since no one is there to do it for her. The secret to the crickets. . . I heard some the other night and, with everything going on lately, they just sounded, I don’t know, just very peaceful(and I do not like crickets) and leveling. So, there’s that. I tried to show that Tara was ready & willing to die(like Willow knew she was) and that’s why she kept choosing to stay; not exactly suicidal, but on the edge. . . . As for her dark magic and her use of it against the creatures? It was easier for Tara to use darker magic on the “creatures” when they looked like it; looking human, she kept having to remind herself that they are “creatures” by remembering what happened to Willow, etc. But even then, she pulled back and killed them all rather quickly. . . but, um, her use of magic in such a painful and dark way will be addressed later. I absolutely love the phrase “A spider in the web,” and I’ve been trying to use it forever! Yay for Madrine, I got to use it!



xita: So, they wanted Willow all along, huh? *see Kris run off and tear up her notes* Darn that xita! Always one step ahead. As for our girl, “Oh Tara. . .” is right.



Oh C, I’ll show you some hockey all right. . . with all the equipment and the stick and puck and, well you get the picture(um, yeah, where is that fiance of yours? School? Who needs that?). Oh, my, look at all those emoticons clamoring for an update—DF or otherwise. The harassment is back, yay!



Thanks to all of you reading!

Kris

“Frell that!”

KrisBo5
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Sun Aug 18, 2002 2:51 am

Kris,

oh yeah, hockey - i'm always for learning new things ;)

and every single emoticon there was for you :D so you still haven't told when the next one is up. soon :bounce , right?

and B is probably waltzing into the sunset with some hot chick, as i'm so far away :rage :cry

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby KrisBo5 » Sun Aug 18, 2002 11:31 am

C, d'oh! You noticed the whole lack of an update timetable, huh? Drat! I'm working on it, DF and something else. As for B, hmm, I can't believe she would cheat on you, but the whole not responding here is giving me serious reason for pause. . . . Now, as for the other, first we need to find you some gear and a good stick! Let's go shopping!

Kris

"Frell that!"

KrisBo5
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Sun Aug 18, 2002 11:54 am

Kris,

i read "stick" and i was about to yell outraged "but i don't drive stick" :rage you're sure that special hockey game of yours involves creepy things like sticks?! :confused well, i trust you, kinda, you're the big knowledge woman here.

but no update? :evil you thought i would forget with all the stick related stuff? no way, missy, want update :bounce

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Tue Aug 20, 2002 7:40 am

well that's great ... NOT i get to reply myself :rage Kris, c'mon ... want update :bounce or at least to know you're alive :(

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby funkyasian » Tue Aug 20, 2002 9:05 am

great update...tara taking all of them...but damn it...that sneaky woman...well, hopefully the scoobies aren't far behind...*gulp*...ummm...they're not far behind are they?



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

funkyasian
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby singgirl » Tue Aug 20, 2002 9:16 am

C and Kris. I am offended. You think I would honestly cheat?? I was moving into my dorm room! Give me some freaking credit!

singgirl
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Tue Aug 20, 2002 10:21 am

you left me Xand.. oh, B : -->>: (ok, to move into your dorm - good excuse btw). sorry :) we were just missing you soooo much and ... bad me, i officially :punch myself for giving you so little credit (well i'll look bad with a swollen eye or two at our wedding .. we're still having a wedding right? :pray ) - hm, you didn't happen to meet some nice helping you with your stuff chick while moving - damn, i should stop doing this. do you still love me .. a little :confused

C

Kris, look what we have done? :cry

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Right now

Postby KrisBo5 » Tue Aug 20, 2002 6:01 pm

Hello to everyone,

I can't write much right now. Will respond later. My friend died today, and I have been with her family; thank you so much, to everyone who sent hugs and prayers and kind words my way. It meant a great deal. Until later.

Kris

"Frell that!"

KrisBo5
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby AutumnT » Tue Aug 20, 2002 6:41 pm

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Autumn

-----------

Buffy Season 6: It grated, like something forced in where it doesn't belong.

AutumnT
 


Re: Right now

Postby VampNo12 » Tue Aug 20, 2002 9:34 pm

Kris, I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. At a time like this I know there isn't anything I can say to take away your pain, but I hope sending you hugs, as well keeping you in my thoughts can help ease this trying time.

VampNo12
 


Re: Darkness Falls, Part 2: Maelstrom(2B)

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Wed Aug 21, 2002 12:46 am

sorry Kris. take care.

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Re: New Fic: Darkness Falls

Postby tommo » Wed Aug 21, 2002 6:45 am

Ah Kris, I'm afraid I've been terribly remiss in not keeping up with this story. Happily, I've now done so and unhappily, I'm finding myself coming into your thread at a time of sorrow for yourself. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, and I hope that you can find some kind of solace from the people around you that will understand your friendship and what it meant.



It's odd though, how real life can color the way you write. You've written an incredible story here; the way that you have put together themes and imagery and crafted them into something meaningful and real is very tangible to me. It gives me a sense of deep despair; there was something in the way that Willow and Tara's love was "never enough", or that mere words couldn't express how they truly felt. That spoke to me; that idea of words being a meaningless conduit through which to express emotion.



There's also the essential presence of their relationship. The fear that you manage to communicate is stark in contrast to the love that you also write so very well. Willow and Tara are, at present, terrified of losing one another, and you know, I think that's something we can all relate to. Especially me.



The general storyline is dark and interesting and you write the evil in such a visceral way that I'm struck by your ability to plunge the depths whilst also reaching the heights of Willow and Tara's love. That's quite a feat.



I love your style; the flashbacks and running internal commentaries are wonderful additions to the narrative itself. Everything is fleshed out; there's nothing I'm left asking or wanting and I always love that in a good story, particularly one that is emotional and has such power to its ideas.



Buffy; wow, your Buffy is amazing. I really like her; she's strong and has the humanity to feel guilty about killing Cassandra. She's in touch with Tara and has such a strong point of reference for knowing the relationship. I love that. And the scenes in the hospital over Willow were just amazing; that's the Buffy I would have liked to have seen in Season 6 and I never did. So thank you for writing her here; it's truly doing justice to the character. :)



Hopefully you will be able to continue with this story when you feel able. But you know what? It doesn't matter even if you don't, because you've written something fine and noble here. And I think, or I hope, I understand what you're trying to say. And it's appreciated. Please know that you are welcome here, and that you are appreciated. Thank you so very much for this. :)


----------
Darlin' theres no way out, nothing can help me now. Love's got a hold on my heart...

tommo
 


Re:

Postby mollyig » Wed Aug 21, 2002 6:53 am

I'm so very sorry to hear that Kris.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

mollyig
 


Re: New Fic: Darkness Falls

Postby Tulipp » Thu Aug 22, 2002 1:38 pm

Kris, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you. Take care.

Tulipp
 


Re:

Postby Puff » Thu Aug 22, 2002 2:50 pm

Kris I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend {hugs} My thoughts are with you.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Puff
 


Re: New Fic: Darkness Falls

Postby SlayerTazz » Fri Aug 23, 2002 1:15 am

Kris- I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

A dream is a wish the heart makes.

Willow: "You had two eggs, sunny-side-up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs."

Tara: "Sassy Eggs."

SlayerTazz
 


To the Kittens

Postby KrisBo5 » Fri Aug 23, 2002 1:45 am

Kittens, I am just sitting down here, checking in, and reading your posts. I appreciate all of your warm wishes and hugs and prayers and kind words during this time, they have brought smiles to my lips and tears to my eyes. And, so, please let me say some things to you. . . .



AutumnT, VampNo12, mollyig, Tulipp, & Puff, SlayerTazz: Thank you. Very much.



C, as always, thank you, and I am.



tommo: Ruth(hope you don’t mind the use of your name), I am very happy to see that you have found your way back to my story; and, yes, these past couple of weeks have been hard— the last few days absolutely unsparing and painful, but I have family and friends who do understand how much I loved my friend, and that has made all of the difference.



Real life colors what you write, I must agree. Real life tends to color just about everything, don’t you think?



The feeling of “despair” that you speak of? With regard to Willow’s and Tara’s love “never being enough,” or that words can never truly express our emotions accurately; it spoke to you, as I hoped it would speak to everyone. That their love for one another was so much that it almost hurt that they couldn’t express it in some “grander” way. Saying “I love you” or being intimate, still it’s not enough; I don’t know what is.



Their feelings of fear at losing one another(in this instance, for a second time) was something I wanted to explore in great depth. You are right— we, as humans, can relate to feelings like these. There is a precarious balance between love/hate, life/death, joy/sorrow, good/evil, and I have made great strides to write a storyline that is very dark and evil and violent so I could use Willow’s and Tara’s relationship, which I see as true and good and full of light, as a counterweight. If that’s working for you, then I am quite happy.



I have often thought that flashback and internal thought are key to underscoring a story’s narrative. Much like the score of a film can evoke feelings and the like, I think that FB & IT act in that same capacity. I have been very deliberate in using flashback and internal thought only with Willow and Tara, mostly to strengthen their characters and further develop their relationship within the story; it has been difficult to keep on this track, because there have been many times I thought that hearing Buffy’s or Dawn’s or Xander’s thoughts would enhance the story. In the end, though, I have stayed on my original course; that may come back to haunt me later. We shall see.



As for Buffy. You have to remember that when I wrote this, it was a four-part story arc for the show, and it had to be a “Buffy” story; well, it had to be, if I wanted them to consider it at all(I have altered the storyline, obviously, in this narrative format to highlight Willow and Tara— who I wanted it to be about in the first place). I wrote Buffy as true to the tv character as I could; well, as true to her character up to a point(like you, I had a lot of problems with Buffy this last season). Buffy’s guilt with the accidental death of Cassandra is pivotal later in the story, so I tried to show how much the act cost her. The hospital scene was one of the easiest scenes I have written for this story. Isn’t that strange? But Buffy just seemed to spill from my fingertips, and I liked her. I liked her interactions with Tara. I liked her showing her weakness and her strength. I liked her showing her love for Willow and Tara. I have always been fascinated by Buffy’s burgeoning friendship with Tara, and I was determined to expand on it in DF; I hope I do it justice. Again, we shall see.



I had written some of the next bit of DF, but I don’t know when I will get back to it. I feel very uninspired. And sad. And tired. And, well, on and on and on. It is so very nice to hear you say that you appreciate my story, that you think it is “something fine and noble.” Those are very inspiring words, I must say, and they go right to my heart. I have told you before how much I enjoy— and admire— your writing, so I hope you understand that you saying how much my story is entertaining you, how much I am appreciated? It makes me very happy, and it means a great deal to me. Much more than I can say. Truly.



I will finish DF, I just don’t know when. To not finish it, because of my sadness and loss, that would be an injustice to my friend’s memory. She’d be very disappointed in me, and that’s not something I would ever want.



Ruth, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about DF with me. I hope that you will again do so, whenever I finish it. I’d like that very much.



And to all, thank you again.

Kris

“Frell that!”

Edited by: KrisBo5 at: 8/23/02 12:48:29 am
KrisBo5
 


Re: New Fic: Darkness Falls

Postby xita » Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:09 am

I am sorry for your loss Kris. We'll be here , fic or no fic, kittens will support you and send you good thoughts.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

xita
 


Re: To the Kittens

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Fri Aug 23, 2002 3:04 am

Kris,

you're back - good! missed you, but take your time with everything.

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Re: To the Kittens

Postby KrisBo5 » Fri Aug 23, 2002 5:39 pm

C, yes, I am back. I am okay. I am going to visit family this weekend. I need hugs. Thanks.

Kris

"Frell that!"

KrisBo5
 


...

Postby Rane018 » Fri Aug 23, 2002 5:50 pm

kris, so sorry to hear about your friend. i may not be family but i'd love to give ya a hug... *HUG*



be well.

Rane018
 


Re: To the Kittens

Postby singgirl » Fri Aug 23, 2002 6:36 pm

Kris, I am delurking for a bit today and wanted to send you my love. I miss seeing your posts on the board. I hope you get back to your old self again soon. But I totally understand the situation, and I just wanted to give you a hug and some support.



C, baby, I haven't gone anywhere. I just have no time, and limited access to the internet. I still love you and want to marry you, there is no other woman.

singgirl
 


Re: To the Kittens

Postby 4WiccanLuv » Fri Aug 23, 2002 6:54 pm

Kris, I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend. Take care of yourself and yours. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take Care.

Linda

- Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres -

4WiccanLuv
 


Re: To the Kittens

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Sat Aug 24, 2002 2:55 am

Kris,

all the hugs for you.

B, honey,

it's good you still wanna get through with the marriage, i do too and i love you as well. i haven't been posting that much either, it seems different and sad without Kris around.

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Re: To the Kittens

Postby KrisBo5 » Sat Aug 24, 2002 11:43 am

xita: Thank you. Yours and all the other Kittens’ support means a great deal.



Rane018: If you’re a Kitten, then you’re family. Thank you for the hug.



4WiccanLuv: Hey, there, Linda. Thank you so much. I am taking care of myself. And I am doing okay. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts and such kind words.



B and C, I am very happy to see that you two are still engaged; it brings a smile to my face! All the hugs and support, I appreciate very much. I am working on getting myself back to the day-to-day thing; it’s slow, but it is coming along. I will be back posting more in the next week; I miss you guys, too!



Love to all,

Kris

“Frell that!”

KrisBo5
 


Darkness Falls, Part Two: Maelstrom(1C)

Postby KrisBo5 » Fri Aug 30, 2002 1:11 am

Sorry for the double-post. . . .



Hello, once again, to all the Kittens out there. It has been a bad two weeks for me, as most of you know(and I thank you all again for all of your love and support). But I am feeling a bit better; each day, a bit better. And, I felt like writing. So, I did. It’s not a big part, but it’s something, and I hope you’ll like it. If so, please feel free to leave feedback. . . or(are you listening B & C?) harass me even. I’m missing you all! Well, anyway, thanks and enjoy. . . .



Title: Darkness Falls

Author: KrisBo5 (Kris, obviously)

Email address: KrisBo5@aol.com

Feedback: Sure, I’d love it.

Distribution: This story is the narrative form of four spec scripts I have written for BVS, each of which is registered with the WGAw, so please don’t publish it or reproduce it in any way, shape, or form. If for some reason you’d like to, just ask first. It’s the polite thing to do.

Spoilers: Season 6, “Entropy” and “Seeing Red” episodes.

Rating: The story in its entirety: PG-13 to NC–17. This includes sex, violence, language.

Pairing: Willow and Tara, first, foremost, forever! However, Buffy and the others are here as well, Buffy and Dawn most especially.

Disclaimer: Hey, I didn’t create these characters, those kudos belong to Joss and crew. I’m just borrowing them for the story I did write.

Summary: The mythology surrounding the creation of the first Slayer(it sounds like a Buffy story, but have no fear, this is all about Willow and Tara).

Note: Things from here on out? Ain’t gonna be pretty. Angst and loss and pain. Read at your own discretion.



Darkness Falls, Part Two: Maelstrom(1C)



“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” Emily Dickinson, Poem Number 1741



Willow stood up from her chair again, resuming her methodical pattern of pacing across the living room carpet of the Summers’ house. Her eyes passed over the clock in the hall. Two hours. Two hours since Tara disappeared. Oh, Goddess. Willow crossed one arm over her chest while letting the other’s elbow rest on it; unconsciously, she began to rub her index finger over her pursed lips. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth.



Buffy, Dawn, Xander, and Anya all sat on various furniture in the room, mountains of texts and weapons surrounding them. Each Scooby sat hunched over his or her material, reading or taking notes, oblivious to anything other than the task at hand.



Finding Tara.



Saving Tara.



Buffy looked up from the passage she was reading and let her eyes follow Willow’s movements. After several seconds and several passes over the room, Buffy spoke. “Will.”



Willow continued her pacing, completely deaf to the Slayer’s calls. Tara, Baby, please. Hold on. Hold on. We’re coming for you. . . I’m coming for you.



“Willow,” Buffy repeated, a bit more firmly, a bit more loudly. Willow stopped and glanced at the Scoobies before letting her eyes fall on her best friend. “Will, sit down.”



The redhead’s brow creased as the Slayer’s words registered, but she shook her head. No, no sitting. I have to move. Keep moving. Keep going. Keep—



“Then maybe you could change your flight pattern,” Xander interjected lightly, “Give that section a break.”



Willow stared at him with distant, unfocused eyes, his attempts at humor missing their mark entirely.



Buffy, Dawn, and Anya, however, all got the joke, and each in turn shot him a ‘not funny, Xander’ look.



Buffy turned to Willow again. “You just got out of the hospital.”



Willow looked at Buffy as if the Slayer had just said that all humans need oxygen to survive. “I know that,” Willow said, her voice slightly sarcastic. The redhead dropped her arms to her sides. “God, you don’t think I kn—” Willow stopped herself from saying anything else, taking a deep breath; she lifted a hand and rubbed her fingers over her forehead in a furious, agitated manner.



“Willow—” Xander started.



“No!” The redhead yelled, throwing her hand away from her face. Every Scooby froze. “No!” She let her eyes pass over each of them, shaking her head slightly as she did so. “We’re just sitting here! We aren’t doing anything!”



Buffy stood and faced her best friend squarely. “We are doing something, Will.”



Willow exhaled, a sound of disgust pouring from her mouth. “Research?”



“Yes.”



Willow leaned over and picked up an aged tome from the coffee table, holding it out in front of her. “This?” the redhead asked, shaking the text at Buffy. “All of this is— it’s bullshit!” she yelled, suddenly turning and throwing the text across the room against the far wall.



Dawn flinched.



Xander shifted uncomfortably.



Anya raised her eyebrows.



Buffy stared at her best friend. . . waiting.



“This won’t help,” Willow continued, taking a step towards Buffy. “This won’t find her, Buffy, and it won’t save her.”



Willow dropped her eyes to the table and chair and floor, taking in the massive quantities of supernatural and magical paraphernalia around them. She lifted her eyes to the Slayer, tears welling up inside. “We’ll never make it,” she said quietly, her voice barely a whisper, all anger gone. She blinked, sending a single tear down her cheek silently, then turned away from the Scoobies and walked out of the room towards the kitchen.



Silence surrounded the group as they watched Willow leave.

Dawn and Xander stood up simultaneously.



“No,” Buffy said, raising a hand in a halting gesture. “Let me.” Three pairs of eyes focused on her. “Keep researching.”



Xander nodded and sat back down, immediately grabbing his discarded book and reading once more.



Dawn continued to stand, staring at her sister with questioning eyes.



Buffy gave her a smile. “Keep researching.”



Dawn nodded and sat.



Buffy followed Willow’s footsteps, heading directly to the kitchen. Stopping in the archway, she found herself staring at her best friend’s back as she stood at the kitchen sink, head bowed, hands holding tightly to its Formica edge. “Willow.”



Willow lifted her head, but did not turn around. “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she said, her voice quiet and scared.



“I know.” Buffy paused, watching her best friend silently for a moment. Then, “Will,” the Slayer tried again.



Willow took a deep breath and faced her best friend, leaning back against the counter; the redhead wrapped her arms around herself tightly.



Protectively.



“We are helping,” Buffy said as she moved forward into the kitchen, stopping near the island opposite Willow. Willow swallowed hard. “And we are gonna find her.”



Willow looked at Buffy a moment longer, then slowly shook her head. You don’t know.



“Yes, we will!” the Slayer said, her voice assertive and assured. “It is not too late.”



Willow closed her eyes briefly and took another deep breath. “Buffy.” The Slayer lifted her chin a bit, silently waiting. “Do you have. . .” Willow began, opening her eyes as she paused to find the right words. “You don’t know.”



Buffy’s brow furrowed, puzzled by the absurdity of the redhead’s statement. “Will— of course I do. It’s Tara.”



“No,” Willow replied, untangling herself from her arms. Buffy shook her head in confusion. “I mean, yes, I know, it’s Tara. I know that.” Goddess, I know that.



Buffy remained silent for another second, considering the redhead’s statement. “Then, you’re right, I don’t know.”



Willow raised her eyes to Buffy’s and held them in a steady gaze.



“What?” Buffy asked.



Say it. Tell her. Tell her.



And then, as if Willow had told her, Buffy stood up straighter, an expression of understanding dawning on her face. “No. Willow, no. It’ll take longer, I know, but we can do this— without magic.”



Buffy. You’re so wrong. “Buffy. . . .”



“You can’t do it, Will.”



“I know.”



Buffy exhaled loudly, realizing that she had been holding her breath, afraid that magic would come up at some point and that it would be a major contention between them. “Then what?”



“I don’t want to do the magicks.”



Again, the Slayer’s brow creased in confusion. “That’s a good thing, Willow.”



“No, it’s not. It’s not a good thing.”



“Will—”



“Don’t you see?” It was obvious to the redhead, that, no, her best friend did not. “How easy it would be? For me to do this? A simple spell, a simple locator spell. I could find her in minutes, in seconds, and I could. . . I could bring her home to me.” Buffy listened silently as her best friend opened her heart and soul to her. “And I don’t want to do it.” Tears began to well up in Willow’s eyes as she continued to pour out everything inside her. “I worked so hard— to get off the magicks. I thought I would die, it hurt so deep. But I did it. I did it. Everyday, it got a little bit better. A little bit easier. And one day, I didn’t want to do them anymore. I didn’t need them. It made me free. . . .”



Buffy felt tears sting her eyes as Willow talked, realizing that she had never— and could never— fully understand what her best friend had gone through when she faced her addiction and stopped using magic.



“And Tara came back to me. . . I was happy again.” Buffy nodded and smiled, knowing the truth of those words. “I never wanted to let her down, Buffy, but I did. I chose magic over her. But I paid for it, everyday that she was gone and I was alone. I swore then— I’d never let magic come between us again. But it has. . . because I can’t use it now. Even when she needs me to, I can’t. I can’t. I don’t want to.”



Buffy wiped away a tear with the back of her hand and sniffed loudly. “Tara knows that, Willow. She knows that. God, she knows you better than anyone. . . even me, I think. And she knows magic— it’s not good for you, Willow. And she’d never, ever, want you to use it again. Not for her. Or me, or you or anyone. Never.”



Tears fell freely down Willow’s face as she listened. Her body began to shake as her pent-up sobs threatened to erupt. “I’m so scared, Buffy.”



“I know.”



“If anything happens to her. . . .”



“I know.”



“If she’s hurt or in pain. . . if she’s dead. . . or worse.”



Buffy took a step around the island towards Willow, but the redhead slid along the counter, away from her. Buffy stopped.



“How can I— how am I supposed to live? Knowing that. Knowing I chose magic over her. Again.” Oh, Goddess, I’m letting her down. Again. . . always. Willow felt her body begin to give way, collapsing in on itself like a black hole; she slid down the counter to the floor in a crumpled heap, her sobs finally breaking free.



Buffy rushed to her side and knelt beside her; she pulled the limp, weeping form into her embrace and began to slowly rock her back and forth, stroking her hair gently. “Shh, it’s okay. Willow, it’s okay.”



“Ta— Tara. . .” Willow uttered, barely getting the word out.



“We’ll get her back. . . I promise. . . I promise. . . .”



The shrill ringing of the telephone sounded from the other room, but Buffy ignored it, focusing her complete attention on trying to comfort her best friend. A movement beside her caught her attention, and she turned her head to the archway as she continued to rock Willow.



Dawn stood there, phone in hand, staring with wide, scared eyes, at both women huddled on the floor. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Buffy nodded to her, giving her the silent ‘go ahead.’ Dawn took a step closer to her sister and held out the phone. “It— It’s Giles.”



The Slayer closed her eyes and a small smile touched her lips. “Thank you,” she whispered, as she hugged Willow more tightly to her.



TBC



Kris

“Frell that!”

Edited by: KrisBo5 at: 8/31/02 11:34:12 pm
KrisBo5
 


Re: To the Kittens

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Fri Aug 30, 2002 2:15 am

Kris is here !!!!!!!!!!! :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce :bounce :) :heart :kiss :love :party ;) :bounce

and with an update! haven't read it yet but i want more :bounce

get back to you after reading. and i unfortunately haven't seen much of my fiancee around the board...:(

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 

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