First off: Happy Holidays Kittens
Second: update now...
[center]Relinquished Symmetry[/center]
Disclaimer: Many rich people own BTVS and its characters…I am not one of them.
Rating: R
Author’s Notes: This storyline takes everything up to halfway through New Moon Rising as the gospel. I have made a BIG change that may make some kittens ‘thwack’ me with a shovel…or, more appropriately, a sledgehammer. Also, some of the dynamics of Angel have been altered to suit me. This is an angsty piece.
Addt’l note: A few pieces of dialogue come from the show (This Year’s Girl, NMR, Fear Itself, etc.).
Feedback: Of any sorts…sure. On the board is fine. No posting elsewhere without my consent.
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PART 24
Isabella yawned and stretched as she walked through the security measures and into the office. She was naturally worried about the condition of her boss given the last four days. She was also mentally preparing for a ridiculous amount of work if Willow had a fight with her ex since they last spoke.
That was generally how it went around here – the more internal problems and stress the redhead had, the more she buried herself in her work to forget.
After placing her keys and bag in a drawer of her desk, she moved to Willow’s office door and knocked once before turning the knob and poking her head in. It was surprisingly quiet and empty. All the computers were shut down, which generally indicated that her boss wasn’t awake and also hadn’t woken up during the night and worked.
That was a good thing. Usually.
Isabella rolled her eyes as the elevators doors chimed open and she stepped in…perhaps she was becoming just as pessimistic as her boss.
A few moments later, she walked across the large apartment to the open door where she found a lumpy outline in sheets and a large comforter that covered her from head to foot.
“Wake up, burrowing mole,” Isabella announced as she pulled away the coverings.
“Hey!” Tara cried out as it suddenly got colder and she was thrust into a waking state. Her eyes flew open and they had to harshly adjust to the added daylight. A sudden scramble for the sheet around her hips was called for as she realized she was lacking a top.
“Okay, you’re not Willow,” the Italian announced as she covered her eyes with a hand and threw the covers back in the general vicinity from which she had taken them.
“No kidding,” Tara replied a little harshly as she covered herself a little more.
“I am terribly sorry,” Isabella politely apologized as she left the room.
“Hmm…” the dark haired beauty questioned in a confused mutter as she excused herself from the living area to go to the last place her boss might be.
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Tara kept the sheets pulled tightly around her body until Willow’s assistant left the room. Nothing like a little early morning embarrassment to shock the brain into the ‘on’ setting.
She flopped back down onto king size mattress, sprawling across the sheets that smelled of her…
Her something.
What was Willow to her now?
She knew what she wanted it to be.
Tara sighed. She had been stupid letting things get this far last night. She had promised herself that she would do this right. That they would start all over again…slowly. That she would get Willow through her magick problems and then they could try to reconnect as friends…and then more. They would rebuild with everything out in the open.
Goddess, we barely even talked before we…
With a shake of her head, Tara sat back up. She was trying very hard not to jump to a number of conclusions.
The biggest was that Willow wasn’t in the room anymore…and she decidedly had been when Tara fell asleep.
She probably just had to work or maybe she's explore a new lead in the demonology research. But she could have woken me up or maybe told me what was going on.
Her thoughts weren’t as comforting as she wished. Tara found her rumpled tank top on the floor and threw it on distractedly.
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Willow sat in her library staring at the world. It seemed larger than it had been in a long time. Endless. Full of possibilities.
She soaked up the peace radiating around her. She thought she could reach out and touch it as if it were tangible.
Everything seemed a bit softer, a bit smoother. Her own hard edges were slowly being withered down with rasps and files, crafted into something devoid of jagged surfaces. If Willow was a sculpture, then Tara was the Goddess that touched her and turned her into beauty.
She could still feel Tara’s lips whispering sighs into the curve of her neck. She looked over at the rug on the floor. It had been overwhelming sitting there last night with Tara wrapped around her under a spell filled sky of stars.
Tara’s hand slowly moved in a tiny circle over the shirt covering her lean stomach. It was a habit Willow recalled so clearly – the blonde had a near obsession to touch and hold and kiss her there.
Yet, in this perfect moment, there was fear.
Why was it there?
It was burrowed deep within the confines of her mind. She wasn’t even sure what caused it anymore. Was it the magick in the air? The swirls of green and blue filling the room with their whimsical movements. It didn’t seem like it. It seemed calm and natural and everything that it was ever meant to be.
That was the big surprise.
It was never really about the magick…not in her head anyway.
It was about Tara.
It was always about Tara.
That meant Willow had to stay strong.
To hold back.
She could do it…it was what she had done best for the past three years. She had closed herself off to everything she loved. Everything she feared. It was easy to be alone, easier still to hide. Anyone could hide in plain sight and get lost. That was the coward’s way out.
Why did she have to hold back?
Willow knew that something was there…something amazing between them. Always had been. Since that first look...that first touch.
Then Tara broke the silence with such a simple phrase.
“I’ve missed you.”
And that was all it took. Was it the plea itself or the tone of her voice?
It didn’t matter.
Willow was suddenly sure of everything she had ever felt her. That was enough.
She turned around in the arms holding her, cupping Tara face with an intensity both new and old. Blue eyes cast upon her with curiosity, hope, and desire. Willow answered that desire with a gentle kiss, slowly questing her tongue into Tara’s willing mouth as their emotions brought them together.
Their emotions quickly pushed them towards more.
Willow didn’t remember voicing for them to go upstairs. They pressed against each other in a tangle as they made their way to her bedroom in a blur. No attention was paid to her surroundings - green eyes reveling in the woman before them and nothing more. Hands were occupied with the way Tara’s skin felt. Her top was soft but the skin underneath was softer still. Her jeans were rough and out of place in this tactile dreamscape and had to be removed.
The rest of the clothes were strewn to the floor in a rush.
What was once a wisp of a treasured memory became alive once more. Willow’s lips remembered where and how Tara liked to be kissed. Just behind the ear. Down the column of her throat. Between the valley of her breasts. She loved the way Tara moaned and pulled her body back up to her mouth.
Their hands roamed each other desperately, blazing trails over expanses of skin. Fingers found hot, wet places of need and entered without abandon. They were together in their movements, as if no time had passed at all. It had been Tara’s name on her lips when she crested and her own echoing from the blonde’s melodic throat. But once hadn’t been enough and they continued their ministrations until they came once more. Spent, both physically and emotionally, they had curled into each others arms and drifted into a serenity Willow scarcely believed existed.
Willow stared out her window to the world and smiled.
It truly was a wonderful day.
“Are you an idiot or something?”
Willow’s daydreaming came to a halt as she turned to see her assistant standing in the doorway.
“A blissful idiot,” her boss replied with a tiny smile.
“Well, blissful idiot, why in the hell are you down here when there’s a half-naked woman sleeping in your bed?”
“I had too much energy too early in the morning. I was just buzzing around and I didn’t want to wake her.” Willow replied instantly before her brain wrapped itself around…
“And what the hell were you doing looking at her half-nakedness anyway?”
“I thought it was you,” Isabella attempted to explain.
“Since when do you go around looking at my half-nakedness?” Willow questioned with wide eyes.
“I don’t” her assistant replied exasperatedly. “It was a case of mistaken covered up by the covers identity. Geez…you’ve got this big expensive brainy computer security system and you can’t put a coat hanger on it to let me know you’ve got company.”
Willow abruptly chuckled. “I’m so sorry about that. I’ll see what I can work up with Cerulean as a non-emergency precaution on the apartment.”
“I’d worry less about that right now and more about the girl with the nice breasts upstairs who I rudely woke up and now is alone in your bed.”
“Oh, crap.” Willow started to scramble out of the room.
“I’ll be taking the rest of the day off and expecting that raise at any moment now, boss.” Isabella called out to the rushing figure.
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Willow flew up the stairs in excitement, deeming that the elevator would take too long in a split second decision. She stopped outside the landing to her apartment door and caught her breath in one deep gasp before turning the knob and entering her place.
What she saw dropped the smile from her eyes. Tara was sitting on the edge of the sofa tying her shoes, clearly about to…
“Wait…you’re leaving?”
Tara tied her other shoe with in a double knot and stood. She couldn’t meet Willow’s eyes, instead picking a choice spot on the floor to gaze. “Well, I thought I better check in with the others to see if they have any leads.” It was spoken in a flat sort of tone and none too convincing to either of them.
“But you can’t go. You were supposed to be in bed…and…and I was supposed to bring you something.” The redhead scurried to the cabinets and retrieved a sleeve of Pop-Tarts, holding them up like a sacred prize.
“See...there’s this whole breakfast in bed thing. And also the whole apologize for the naked walk-in thing. And…I’m not doing this right, am I?”
“You don’t want me to go?” Tara asked tinged with hope.
“No! No go. I mean you should stay. Not that I'm all ‘I tell you what to do because I’m your girlfriend’ or anything. And…um…we are dating, right?”
Tara chuckled, the last vestiges of sadness leaving her face, and the mirth tickled Willow to her toes.
“Sweetie, we didn’t do that on the first date the last time around.”
“Well, no, but…” Willow paused in thought. “Do you regret that we…”
“No, not exactly.”
“Not exactly?” Willow asked as her stomach flinched at the unpromising answer.
“I just thought it would be different. That we would sort of talk things out…see where we were first. Isn’t that what lesbians are supposed to do?”
“I guess stereotype be damned.” Willow moved towards her, taking her hand, and pulling her close. “I’m not sorry.” She stated it as openly as she had ever said anything in her life.
“I mean I know that we still have things to work out, but I’m not sorry.”
“I’m not either, Willow. Don’t ever think that. I want this too. So much.” Tara kissed her once lightly on the lips, but pulled away from as Willow tried to bring her back for more. She walked back to the bedroom, kicking off her shoes as she went. She sat on the side and slid back to the headboard.
Willow cast a curious eye at her.
“What are you waiting for? Bring those Pop-Tarts…I want my breakfast in bed.”
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Isabella walked out of the office after seeing to the messages in the lobby and informing the other workers that the office was closed. She reached the parking area, noticing that Tara’s associate from the other day was getting out of his worn vehicle. She approached him casually with a wave.
“Hello…Wesley?” She half-greeted, half-questioned as she remembered his name.
“Yes, sorry to be brash, but is Tara inside? Her phone is off.”
“I would say that they don’t want to be disturbed.” Isabella replied with enough innuendo to get her message across.
“I’m afraid we don’t have that option. We’ve got trouble.”