Fic Challenge: Letters From Tara

[RomanceJunky]

In the Grand Tradition, started by our own wonderful TrueXena, comes the other side of the story...how would Tara respond to some of those letters from Willow?

Since I'm asking the question, it's only fair I take the first shot...and let me tell you...this wasn't easy.





Willow,



I got your letter yesterday from Dawn. I don't know what else there is to say right now. Willow, can't you see why I'm so upset? Can't you understand how betrayed I feel right now? But even more than my feelings of upset and betrayal I feel afraid. Baby, I'm so afraid for you right now and I can't seem to reach you, to make you understand what a dangerous place you're in. The mere idea that you can't understand why I feel so violated by your actions should be like a 5-bell alarm to you! I know you love me, but it's hard to keep believing that when my feelings and concerns seem to mean nothing to you anymore.



Stop and really look at what you've done. You've lied to me, you've kept things from me, you've cast spells on me at least twice that I know of. I ask you, does that sing out your love for me? How am I suppose to feel? This has hurt me so badly!



But still, I feel your love for me...and I know it's so very deep.



And, Goddess help me, I love you still, beyond all my understanding...



But, for now, for my own sanity, I must stay away. Darling, please think about these things, and the choices you're making, keeping in mind that they all have consequinces, and nothing, even in the realms of magic, comes for free.



I Love You, Willow. I Love You with all my heart, and all of who I am, but I can't trust you right now.



I'm sorry, I just can't.



Tara

[Nat]

Willow,

I've been reading through the letters that you've been sending me i couldn't face them till now.

It wasen't an easy decision for me to walk away from you that day, it killed me inside to have to do itbut it was the only way i could survive.

I thinkl that it just shocked me that you were getting so out of control with your magik, so badly that you would even cast spells on me. Thats what cut me the most, that you could just erase my memories to make everything "okay" again. Like i said theres two of us in this relationship, we should of talked aboutit , but at that point you couldnt see that the magik was the problem.

I should of seen it coming, thatall this was destined to happen. I remember when we argued about the magik when i said that it kinda scared me,the power thatseemed to be taking over you. The whole business with Glory and thrn Buffy's resserection kinda meant that we neverhad time to talk about it all.

I don't think that theres any point in wishing that things were different, cos this is where we are right now and we have to deal with that.

When you wrote in your letter tht you haden't cast any spells for the past week my heart leapt. I knew that in time you would realise what was happening to you and stop all the magik.

I couldnt handle being with you when you were so wild and out of control,it was frightening. I didn'twant to have to cast protection spells round myself to stop you tampering with my mind.

Every night we've spent apart I've missed you emotionally, physically everyway you an think of. You make me feel whole , all this time apart I've felt so alone it hurts me not to be with you.

Like I've said a thousand times, I love you Willow and I truely am yours. It'sjust going to take a bit of time to trust you fully again, with everything that has happened between us theres not going to be a "quick-fix". But i know that if we work had we can make it through this, we've helped each other through so much I couldn't ever imagine us being apart.

Like I said we need to take things slow, regain thetrust that was there before all this happened. The magik will have to stop thoughWillow, I need you to do that for me.You need to see that magik isen't something to be used asan easy way of doing something. If your serious about usI'm sure that I could teach you about the right way to use magik, if you'll let me?



Read over this letter and let me know what you think.



Yours Always



Tara

[TrueXena]

Willow,



I've gotten all of your letters. I'm slowly going through them. Just so you know, I love you, and miss you as well.



I see you on campus from time to time, but I try to stay in the shadows. You look so tired most of the time, but your still beautiful to me. But please, get more sleep, your so pale, and eat something, you're skin and bones.



I hope you understand my reasons for leaving. It was NOT to hurt you, for I think it hurt me more. I just couldn't stay and let you think that what you were doing was okay to do. You needed to see without anything else clouding the truth. If I'd have stayed you would never have come to the truth.



From what I'm reading in your letters, it seems you have finally found your way, and seems you are dealing with it pretty well. I'm so glad for you, and it makes me happy.



I can't see you just yet. I dont think I could handle it. Believe me, I want to see you, I want to hold you and kiss you, but I can't yet. I'm not ready for that. You hurt me when you messed with my memories. You had no right to do that, relationship or no, you violated me. I'm not sure I can forgive you of that. That doesn't mean I don't love you. I hope you understand that. I just can't see you yet, it would be too painful for me. Maybe some day, just not yet.



There are days when I feel very good about my life the way it is now. I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. I would have never learned this about myself if I'd have stayed. I know this might not make you happy, or jump for joy, but it's the truth. And the truth is what you need to hear, even if it might hurt just a little.



I love you Willow, you will always hold my heart, forever. I wish you would have trusted in that enough before any of this happened.



Your Girl,

Tara