Title: Tabula Rasa Perpetua
Author: TazRaven
Distribution: Anyone who wants to use it, just ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. I love it.
Disclaimers: Willow and Tara and the rest of the Buffy gang and Buffyverse are not mine, but I wish they were.
Summary: The Buffy gang has to live with the effects of the Tabula Rasa spell a little longer than what originally happened. This is a different idea for how Willow and Tara could have gotten through their rough patch.
Rating: Starts PG and is probably going to end up R or NC-17.
Timeline: Everything up until The Tabula Rasa spell is the same. The changes start happening a little bit into the spell.
Author's Notes: 1. Tabula Rasa means clean slate, as most of you already know. Perpetua describes a perpetual action, or an event that keeps going. Together, the title means something similar to a Perpetual Clean Slate. Just a fun bit of Latin for ya’ll.
2. Thanks to my beta Kay. You know I think you're awesome.
3. Thanks so much to Emms, who gave me a helpful bit of info that my title should be Tabula Rasa Perpetua as opposed to Tabula Rasa Perpetuus.
Tabula Rasa Perpetua
Chapter 1- A Spell Gone Horribly Wrong
“I don't think this is gonna work.” Tara looked at Willow, unshed tears filling her eyes.
“Hey. It is, i-it's working.” Tara looked down, unable to meet her lover’s gaze. “Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I-I don't, I ... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear.”
For a moment, Willow was afraid that Tara would dismiss the idea, but after a beat, she nodded. “Go a week. One week without magic.”
Willow smiled; excited at the task Tara gave her. A week without magic was nothing. “Fine. Fine, that's easy!”
Tara looked at Willow and nodded, but her eyes betrayed her disbelief. She was totally unconvinced that Willow could do it. “Go a week, and then we'll see.”
Willow’s smile slipped off her face. She had the sudden terrifying thought that even if she did go a week without magic, she would lose Tara anyway.
Tara continued speaking, fearful that if she didn’t the words would not ever be spoken. “I don't know, I just ... think we both need some ... I don't know, space.” Willow’s face dropped even more, unable to believe what Tara was telling her. “Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this.”
For a moment, no one spoke, and then Willow asked a question that nearly broke Tara’s heart. “Are you saying you're gonna leave me?”
Tara’s throat closed slightly at the question, leaving her unable to do anything but pull her eyes away from Willow and rest them on the coffee mug she held in her hand.
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When Willow woke up that morning, she had absolutely no intention of going one week without magic. Her mind had already been made up last night, after Tara had evaded her question. She rationalized that if Tara was going to leave her whether or not she gave up magic, then she may as well continue. Besides, she continued in her mind, trying to convince herself that this was the right thing to do; this spell would make everything better. Buffy would forget she had ever been in heaven, and Tara would forget they ever had a fight. It was perfect. As Tara and Dawn left for the Magic Box, Willow disappeared upstairs for a moment clad in her bath towel with wet hair, only to return seconds later fully dressed and ready.
She walked down the stairs and went to the cabinet. Behind a set of books, hidden from view, lay a bag of ingredients needed for the spell. Willow walked over to the fireplace and took a large piece of Lethe’s Bramble from the bag, setting it in the hearth. Without giving it a second thought, Willow passed the proverbial point of no return and started speaking the spell’s words.
“For Buffy and Tara, this I char.” Willow paused for a moment, lighting a match and setting the herb on fire. “Let Lethe's Bramble do its chore. Purge their minds of memories grim, of pains from recent slights and sins.” Pausing once more, Willow took a small crystal from the pouch on her belt and held it in the flames. “When the fire goes out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast.” Willow pulled the crystal out of the fire and placed it in her palm. “Tabula rasa, tabula rasa, tabula rasa.” The spell was cast.
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Buffy walked towards the door, determined to leave. She needed time to breathe, and that was impossible with the entire Scooby gang fawning over her like she was some sort of helpless child. At the sound of Willow’s voice asking her to stop, Buffy complied and turned around slowly to meet her best friend’s eyes. She wasn’t in the mood to listen to more apologies, but it wasn’t in her nature to be rude.
Willow continued, spurred on by Buffy’s compliance. “I know this must be awful for you, and I, I'm sorry, I ... I'm so sorry for...”
She was cut off as Buffy nodded impatiently. The apologies were too much, and they didn’t help the situation at all. In Buffy’s mind, what was done was done, and there was nothing anyone could do to make everything better. Being ripped out of heaven didn’t exactly bring out the optimist in her. “Sorry. Everybody's sorry. I know that you guys are just trying to help ... but it's just, it's too much. And, and I, I can't take it any more.” Buffy stopped, her eyes growing tearful at the words she was speaking. “If you guys ... if you guys understood how it felt ... how it feels. It's like I'm dying, it-“
At those words, she passed out, falling to the floor immediately. The others quickly followed. Giles and Anya fell onto each other, looking asleep to the casual observer. Willow and Xander were next, falling into a heap on the floor. Dawn collapsed to the floor as well, and Tara’s head slumped forwards onto the table. As Spike passed out on the counter, the Magic Box was enveloped in an uncharacteristic silence.
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In a darkened room, a petite blonde woke up on the floor. She groaned and stood up, walking over to a wall and flipping on a light. Seconds later several other people in the room were awake. A man with bleached hair started to roll off the counter; he shrieked in a high pitched voice and tumbled onto the floor. The scream woke up the youngest looking person in the room, causing her to cry out as well. After everyone had roused themselves from slumber, the group was considerably confused. Waking up without any memories of each other, let alone any memories of themselves, the assemblage tried to make sense of the situation. They decided that their current condition was not caused by alcohol, and instead went about trying to find another explanation. The red-head started walking about the room, examining the items on the shelves and counters. She excitedly determined what kind of shop they were in and was about to announce her discovery before being interrupted by someone else. She turned towards the voice and found herself looking at a woman who had up until then been silently sitting in a chair. The idea was dismissed just as quickly, as the older man in the room labeled the notion of magic as preposterous.
The red-head watched the progressing scene with slight amusement, as the man with bleached blonde hair determined that the older British gentleman was his father. “Oh, god, how I must hate you,” the younger man said.
“What did I do?” the older man asked, confused as to how he could be hated without knowing his own name.
“There’s always something, and what’s with the trollop?”
“Hey!” the blonde woman exclaimed, obviously irate at the insult.
“Her?” the older man asked.
“I saw you! Sleeping together.”
“Resting together.” The older gentleman held up his hand in an effort to halt the direction the conversation was headed in.
“Look! It’s ok. We’re engaged.” The woman held out her hand, pleased with her deduction. “It’s a lovely ring,” she continued.
The older man’s son had something more to contribute. “Oh, great. A tarty step mom who’s half old Daddy’s age.”
“Tarty?” the blonde asked, once again insulted by her soon-to-be step son.
“Old? You little twerp, I’m young enough to still get carded!” the older man protested.
“Carded! Driver’s licenses!” the red-head exclaimed, struck with the sudden idea to find out their names from their IDs.
The man to her left was the first to discover his name. “It’s me! Alexander Harris. Cute picture.” He smiled, very pleased with himself, and held up the picture for everyone to see. “Hey, I exist.”
The red-head was next as she announced her name to the group. “Willow Rosenberg.” She looked at Alex and giggled. “Heh, Willow. Funny name.”
She was pulled from her amusement by the sweet voice of the blonde woman. She gave Willow a smile and spoke softly. “I think it’s pretty.” Willow returned the smile and asked the blonde what her name was, genuinely eager to know the answer.
She held up her ID. “Tara, and look, I’m a student at U. C. Sunnydale.”
“Me too!” Willow exclaimed, happy that perhaps she and Tara were friends. “Hey, maybe we’re study buddies.” Tara smiled, excitement filling her for some unknown reason at the thought of being Willow’s study buddy.
The excitement fled her body just as quickly, and was replaced by an immense feeling of jealousy, as Willow and Alex decided that they were a couple. Tara didn’t know why it affected her so much, but the thought of Willow and Alex together seemed wrong. It was as if she and Willow belonged together, but she pushed that thought out. Oddly enough, it did not concern Tara that she was attracted to Willow. No, the reason for her disbelief was that the gorgeous red-head standing near her would probably never look in Tara’s direction twice. Although Tara had not yet looked into a mirror, she was certain that her looks paled in comparison to Willow’s.
Minutes later, everyone had a name, even if it was Joan. They all decided to find a hospital, and turned in the direction of the exit. Joan walked to the door and pulled it open. For the smallest of moments, everyone stood still as they saw what was waiting for them outside of the shop. Two vampires stood, poised and ready to strike. Their faces were disfigured and sharp fangs jutted out from their mouths. As soon as the moment began, it ended, and everyone screamed. Joan slammed the door shut and the group ran behind a counter, huddling in a mass on the floor.
Panic ensued for the next couple of minutes as the group tried to figure out a solution, but once the vampires had broken into the store and Joan killed one, some details seemed to fall into place. It seemed that Joan was some sort of superhero, and that she definitely knew how to use a spike. Joan, having discovered her talents, took charge of the group, handing out assignments. Alex, Willow, Dawn, and Tara would go down into the sewers and try and reach the hospital that way. Rupert and Anya would stay in the shop to try and work a spell, Anya having decided that she couldn’t leave the cash register. Joan and Randy would pull the vampires off the rest of the group, as Randy was the one the vampires wanted.
They all silently agreed as the group of four headed off into the back of the shop, and Randy and Joan threw open the door and ran out, leaving Rupert and Anya alone to protect the money.
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Joan and Randy sprinted out the door, Joan pushing three vampires out of the way and creating a path. They ran down the street, until one of the vampires caught Randy by the shoulder, pulling him backwards. In less than a second, Randy’s face changed into a vampiric visage. He pulled back his fist and threw it forwards, lifting the other vampire into the air and depositing him twenty feet away.
Joan turned around when she realized that Randy was not by her side anymore. “Randy!” She called out, afraid that he had gotten captured. But as she turned to look, she saw something terrible. Randy’s face had morphed; his forehead full of lumps, and his sharp teeth showing in a gruesome smile.
“Hey, I’m a superhero too!” he exclaimed, happy to contribute. Unfortunately, Joan’s face displayed anything but happiness. She looked terrified of him, and that emotion was cemented as she turned and ran screaming away from the shop. “Joan, where are you going?” Randy asked, confused at her horror. The vampires charged him again, and he quickly dispatched them. Calling after Joan, he sprinted after her.
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In the back of the shop, the foursome was climbing down a ladder that led to the sewers. Tara and Alex went first, helping Dawn down after them. As they helped Willow down from the ladder, Tara grabbed onto one of Willow’s legs, trying to support the weight. When one of her feet had touched the ground, Willow put her hands onto Tara’s shoulders to steady herself, and was suddenly aware of how close they were. Tara brought her own hands up to Willow’s arms, intent on steadying the red-head, and found herself gazing into the most beautiful green eyes. Willow found herself in a similar position, looking into the beautiful blue of Tara’s gaze. In that moment, it seemed that both Willow and Tara remembered something important; something life changing. But in the next second it was gone as Willow turned away, confused by how intense the moment was.
They all began to walk down the tunnel with Willow leading the way, followed by Alex, Dawn, and finally Tara. As they walked a few feet further, a shadow appeared, blocking the path. The form stepped into the light and Dawn screamed, triggering the others to run the opposite direction. They sprinted back the way they came, afraid to look behind them for fear they would see the vampire draw near.
The group sprinted down the sewer, the vampire hot on their heels. Tara rounded a corner and ducked behind some pillars, motioning for the others to follow her. Seconds later the vampire passed, still pursuing the group that was now behind him. Tara peeked out from behind the columns once she was sure the monster had bypassed them. She told the others to climb up the ladder on the other side of the sewer, and they quickly followed her instruction. In moments they were huddled in the pipe. Alex pulled the heavy metal grate shut behind them.
Willow and Tara crouched against the wall, trying not to breathe heavily. Their faces were so close, that if one were to move forward, their lips would brush. Willow tried not to look; for fear that she would push herself forward, creating a kiss in the enclosed space. They locked eyes for a moment, and in that moment once again, all the questions seemed to be answered. But Tara broke the gaze, looking down, ending the intensity. Now was not the time to be indulging in passionate fantasies, squeezed into a small pipe with a vampire following their scent. Tara looked back up, unable to keep her eyes off of the woman so near to her, but this time it was Willow who ended the stare, choosing to look away. They stopped then, coming to a silent mutual agreement to instead focus on the problem at hand, instead of creating new ones.
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Unfortunately, Rupert and Anya were not faring any better. Rupert had found a one-way plane ticket to England in his jacket pocket, but as Anya praised how nice it must be for them to own a shop together, he chose to keep the information to himself.
“This is the book for us,” Anya insisted, pulling it off the shelf and skipping over to her fiancé. Although the book had nothing to do with mind control or memory loss, Rupert could see that nothing would dissuade Anya.
“Ok, here we go.” She plopped the book down on the table and opened it to a randomly chosen page. Rupert began to protest mildly, but before he could begin a convincing argument, Anya started reading the spell. “Pacis exsisto mei Huic quietus vicis Somnium exsisto dulcis Sino mihi dormio.” No sooner had she finished the incantation than a bright blue bolt of energy shot out from the book and hit Rupert squarely in the chest. He lost consciousness immediately, falling to the floor and hitting his head on the hard surface for good measure. Anya picked her eyes up from the book and looked to her right. Not seeing Rupert, she glanced downwards and sighed. Her fiancé was sprawled out on the floor in an obviously unconscious state. She shook her head and muttered under her breath, “Oh, crap!”
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Stay tuned for the next chapter: Discoveries
~Sara
I will keep reading! 
)and Joan ( 
I really can't see there being any other outcome... So I guess I'll just have to trust you, and keep reading. 
I am so loving this what a twist 
I promise, stick with it and there'll be more spin-y goodness.
hehe i love it!!! im hooked... hehehe
i love it!!!! did i mention i love it!! hehe!!!!!!!!! me want more of this story