Mary,
I have finished reading this absolutely remarkable tale. I read
On Second Thought a while ago and really enjoyed that story. I was very impressed with your take on canon events – you stayed true to the characters, gave us enough of the happenings that we knew from the show, and then let your imagination take over to completely manipulate those events and bend them to your will. Again, I was impressed.
And then I read this. You've outdone yourself! I was so engrossed -- to the point that I've been unable to write more for the next chapter of my own story because I
needed to know what happened next in GS&A. And it was a need. The story would not leave my mind. Even now the story stays with me.
Again, you've captured the characters nicely. However, you do not let the characters sit -- stagnant in their own "Joss-ness". You've allowed the characters to grow, to become the people they could have been had the writers given them half a chance.
Willow: She's our brilliant, babbling redhead, that's for sure. But you’ve allowed her to be so much more. She is also fallible, without being ridiculous. Fallible, without being ridiculous? Huh? Let me 'splain. Willow has grown from a wonderful, babbling teenager who had low self-worth into a wonderful, babbling adult who has found her significance in the world -- as best friend to the world's protector, as surrogate sister to Dawn, and, most significantly, as lover and partner to Tara. She still has all of those characteristics that made us love her when we first met her in high school, but she has grown into herself. And now, while she realizes that she has some limitations -- particularly when she struggles in her want/need to take away all of Tara's pain -- she no longer sees those limitations as major faults. She knows she doesn't have to be perfect. She realizes that magick can't fix everything. She understands that some pain has to be felt. And her most important job is simply to be there, unconditionally -- to stay loyal to her friends, to keep her promise to Dawn, to love Tara. Wonderful.
Tara: Wow! You've written Tara so beautifully. One of the problems I had with the show was the "glossing over" of Tara's background. We had
Family and
The Body to learn about her life pre-Sunnydale. And that was it. So Willow's statements as she and Tara are dancing at the birthday party -- the "when I see where you come from, I love you even more" stuff -- are dead on and we all say a collective "Yes!" However, what do we really know? Her dad lied by saying "you're a demon and so was your mom," Donnie is a redneck jerk, and Beth is a bit off her nut. That's it. Nothing more is said. And we have the hospital when Joyce dies -- Tara has a bonding moment with Buffy when she tells of her own mother's death. That's it. You, on the other hand, have filled in all of those gaps. And you've done it so incredibly well. We really
can see how remarkable Tara is because now we truly know about where she came from. We know about the people who "raised" her. Now we understand the depth of her strength. Now we can see the light that shines through Tara. It's no longer muted and overshadowed. It's a wonderful thing.
Dawn: I love what you did with Dawn. You kept just enough of the whiny brat, the kid sister who wouldn't leave Buffy alone. Yet you've allowed her to grow up, to see things with a more mature perspective. I always thought Dawn’s moment on the scaffolding just before Buffy said her piece and took a nosedive off the tower was a defining moment for the youngster. It was at that point, IMHO, that she did some growing up. It was at that point that she truly understood the meaning of sacrifice. And she was willing to sacrifice herself for the good of the people she loved. She didn’t whine at that moment. She didn’t say, “Buffy, what should I do?” She made a decision and was going to carry it out. You gave Dawn that moment earlier on. I think her internal struggle over just killing herself “now” rather than waiting for something to happen was brilliant! And allowing her to confide in Willow and Tara really shows her ability to trust and listen to reason. Again, that’s something we didn’t get to see on the show. Nice.
Buffy, Xander, Giles, Anya: Yeah, I’m lumping them all together…sue me.

As I read the story, I really saw these 4 as rather minor characters. Not insignificant…far from that. But just about everything came from Willow’s or Tara’s point-of-view. So, we could really only see all other players on the stage through the lovers’ eyes. And I really liked it that way. You’ve written the rest of the Scoobies true to form. I could hear them saying what you’ve written for them. So wonderfully done!
The Maclay Clan: OMG! The Maclays are human! Nathan isn’t pure evil. Julia wasn’t pure goodness. Donnie was more misunderstood and abused than Tara in many ways. Beth just doesn’t know what to make of anything – she just wants a home and love. Wow and wow! And I just love Beverly – former ball of energy or not. She rocks!
In addition to the wonderful characterizations you’ve given our fictional friends, you’ve strengthened the relationships between and among them. I think this is the first time I’ve seen the connection between Willow and Tara written so clearly, so lovingly, so purely. That is not to say that no one else has written that connection well. But I
felt the connection in your story. It was so beautiful.
I don’t blame Dawn for falling in love with Tara. Hell, I don’t blame anyone for falling in love with Tara. But, ya know, I think Dawn may have had a little thing for Willow too…c’mon, how could she not? I really like how you built the relationship between Dawn and Willow and Tara – individually and as a couple. Even though Dawn and Buffy seem to have a more cohesive bond in this story than we would see on the show, she still needed someone who was NOT big sister to talk to. Willow and Tara were the obvious choices. She can clearly talk to these two women and know that she will get honest answers – she knows they love her and will do anything to protect her, but she also knows that they respect her. And that’s important to a teenager…sometimes “Big Sis” doesn’t get that, no matter how good her intentions.
I love that you don’t have Willow and Anya fighting all the time. That relationship always seemed rather forced to me on the show. I think you’ve struck a nice balance with Anya and her relationships with everyone. She’s still the blunt, ‘honest to a fault’ Anya that we know and love, but she has a better sense of humanity and we can see her struggles with it. We can see that she cares about saying and doing the right thing, she
wants to learn. For me, Anya’s defining moment in the series was in
The Body. Her “I don’t understand” speech kills me every time – THAT is what starts me crying in that episode. I’m glad you included a version of that here…and that Tara got to hear it…and that it wasn’t Willow who snapped at her for asking questions about “what happens next.”
I’ve gotta say, I ran the gambit on emotions in this story. You made me laugh until I cried, and cry until I laughed. You were able to slip in something uproariously funny right in the middle of a high angst moment without pulling me out of the story thinking “wtf??” So so so SO wonderfully written!
Now that my reply has become longer than one of my own updates, I’m going to close out so I can start reading ATGB. Thank you so much, Mary, for this wonderful story. When I grow up, I want to write just as well as you.
Carleen